Chapter Text
As their group leader, a lot of things fell to Sizhui. Reading maps, talking with victims, tracking their expenses, making arrangements at inns, and so on.
He was also in charge of keeping his companions in line.
They weren’t at an inn at the moment. Sizhui hadn’t been able to face the thought of doing… what was he was going to do in an inn. Instead they’d set up camp in the woods.
None of his companions had complained about that, cheering starting a fire in the center of the clearing. Xie Jinjing, who had grown up in Caiyi and was an excellent fisherman, soon had a decent haul from the nearby stream.
Sizhui didn’t join in their cheer, nor in their celebration of a successful hunt. He hung back, standing at the edge of the clearing with a sick feeling in his stomach.
Finally finding his voice, he called, “Jingyi.”
Jingyi looked up. “Sizhui?”
He pulled at his qiankun bag, knotting the cords around his fingers. “During our hunt, I issued a command and you did not follow it.”
His friend just shrugged. “So?”
“It is my duty to offer correction.”
Jingyi laughed, shaking his head and snorting. Holding up the fish he was roasting, he said, “Sizhui, come eat. You can have this one!”
He couldn’t eat.
“Jingyi,” Sizhui said again, squaring his shoulders. Leaning on a rule his friend had hear hundreds of times, he quoted, “‘One will accept correction with thanks and grace.’”
“Is he serious?” someone whispered.
Jingyi took a bite of his fish.
Wan Yusheng leaned to his sister and muttered, “He’s acting like he’s going to beat Jingyi.”
“That is my duty!” Sizhui cried out. Didn’t they see that he didn’t have a choice?
Jingyi turned to look at him, his mouth full of fish. “You’re fourteen,” he snickered.
“You’re thirteen!” he retorted.
At the childish argument, someone giggled.
Finally Jingyi stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean I have to let you spank me.”
“Strap,” Sizhui found himself saying. “I will strap you.”
Jingyi snorted and wrinkled his nose. “You will?”
His hands shaking, Sizhui opened his qiankun pouch, removing the leather strap he’d been given along with other supplies for their trip.
With that, the mood in the clearing suddenly changed.
The Wan twins glanced at one other, shifting uneasily. Across the fire, Xie Jinjing chewed his thumbnail.
“You’re my friend,” said Jingyi in disbelief. “You’re not Hanguang Jun.”
If he let Jingyi get away with this, then one of the other Juniors would report it and they would both be punished when they got home.
‘Please,’ Sizhui wanted to beg. ‘Just kneel and get it over with. I’ll rub ointment into it. I’ll do anything. Just- please-’
But it was Jingyi, and he never accepted disciple without a fight, not from anyone. With a toss of his head he sat back down at the fire, picking up the stick he’d roasted the fish on and poking at the embers.
“Wan Meili. Wan Yusheng.”
The twins stood and bowed, giving him curious looks and waiting for his order.
He couldn’t keep the tremor out of his voice. “H- Hold him.”
Wan Meili blinked. Her brother looked as though he was going to say something - Sizhui almost wished he would - but then his eyes fell on the strap in Sizhui hand and he fell silent.
“Yes teacher,” murmured Wan Meili quietly. The siblings stepped forward, taking ahold of Jingyi’s arms and turning him away from Sizhui, pulling off his robes and handing them off to someone else to hold.
Sizhui wanted to cry.
His qiankun pouch fell to the ground, forgotten, as he slowly approached. His eyes were fixed on Jingyi’s back, following the line of his spine from his neck to where it vanished into his trousers.
There was a bruise forming on Jingyi’s shoulder from where the corpse had tossed him against a tree. Near his hip was a scar from the time he and Sizhui had gone swimming and he’d fallen on a rock.
He closed his eyes.
Wan Yusheng glared at him, his face set in a firm line, a promise that he would never forgive Sizhui for involving him in this.
Didn’t they realize he had to?
“Teacher,” Wan Meili said gently. “A number?”
He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Wracking his brain, trying to remember other punishments Jingyi had received from their teachers, he offered, “Five?”
Jingyi snorted. “Is that a question?”
Crack.
Sizhui flinched at the loud noise, even as Jingyi remained perfectly still. He hadn’t realized he was swinging the strap until it was too late.
‘Am I supposed to count or him?’
Again, the mood in the clearing changed. Before had been unease and apprehension. Now there was fear.
The other juniors stared at him, their wide eyes reflecting in the firelight.
They’d never looked afraid of him before.
He could already see his life crumbling around him. The relationships that he’d built, the fun they had on Night Hunts — all of it was gone in one strike of the strap. No longer would Sizhui be invited to their fun, not if he was to also be their disciplinarian.
“S- Sizhui?” Jingyi was staring over his shoulder, his eyes wide.
He hadn’t thought Sizhui would actually go through with it.
“Jingyi?”
Jingyi just shook his head, his mouth slightly agape.
He couldn’t go through with it. Sizhui looked down at the strap in his hands, then raised his head, staring at the red line blossoming on Jingyi’s back.
“I- I-“
Something changed on his friend’s face, a strange kind of determination overtaking his fear.
Jingyi wrenched his arms free from the Wan twins, lunging for Sizhui. “What are you doing?”he demanded. “Beating me?!”
Startled, Sizhui pushed him away.
“Fuck off!” sobbed Jingyi, shoving him back.
Before he could do anything else, the Wan twins grabbed him and pushed him back to his knees.
Sizhui wanted to pull at his hair. He wanted to scream and rage at Jingyi. ‘Why would you do that?’ he wanted to say. ‘Now I have to punish you for hitting me!’
But he couldn’t.
Even telling himself that it was best if he punished Jingyi - because he could temper his blows, could hold back his strength to protect his friend - he couldn’t bring himself to raise the strap again.
He coiled the strap around his shaking hand, turning to look for his fallen qiankun bag. “Go to sleep,” he ordered. “It is past nine.”
“Coward.”
Sizhui froze, twisting the strap around his fingers. “Lan Jingyi?”
“Finish it.”
He allowed himself to turn back around, looking at his friend. The Wan twins had let go of his arms, but Jingyi was still facing away from him, his back straight.
“I-“ Sizhui began.
“Four more, asshole.”
He couldn’t.
“I am going to check the wards,” he said, forcing his voice not to shake. “If anyone fails to prepare for bed I will-“
What? What would he do?
He’d already revealed he was too weak of a leader to actually discipline them himself.
“-report them to Ha- the Head of Discipline.”
With that, he turned sharply and practically ran into the woods.
Once he was out of sight he collapsed against a tree, his legs shaking.
He would demand to be given the remainder of Jingyi’s punishment, argue that he should be punished in his friend’s place for failing to adequately teach those he was in charge of.
Or… something like that.
Sizhui circled their camp, checking the wards they’d put up and looking for any sign of danger. As he walked, he took the time to calm himself, breathing deeply and listening to the sounds of the forest.
By the time he’d circled their camp four times, the other juniors were all stretched out on their sleeping mats.
Without thinking he laid his mat next to Jingyi, as he had done on every trip he had taken in his life.
He would never forget the look of disgust Jingyi gave him. “Go away,” his friend spat, rolling over and facing away from him.
Sizhui shrunk back, gathering up his mat and moving it to the other side of the clearing. “I’ll take the first watch,” he said quietly.
He never bothered to wake a second, sitting on his mat and watching the embers slowly die until dawn.