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“Kabetaijin. I say, Kabetaijin! Are you listening to me?!”
“Huh?” The rapper stopped the ceaseless tapping against the armrest, realizing that it had become a distraction from the non-stop yapping of the middle-aged woman sitting across from him in the sedan. Kabe was disappointed as he thought he had just come up with a new beat.
The woman groaned and went back to scouring her tablet. “I said we might want to consider an attire change for your concert in Berlin next week. The trends over there suggest that they want a more ‘Glamorous Bad Boy’ look for their rappers. Not…” She then looked over Kabe in his current state “... ‘Ordinary Street Bum’.”
Kabe chuckled. “You know, I used to think that, too,” he told his new manager. The woman was always on him about wearing the same bland clothing for years. “The guy I told you about, who got my career going… He taught me there was no shame in being ordinary as long as you have passion. That’s something I’d like to share with my fans without having to change how I look.”
His manager scoffed. “If passion was everything, you wouldn’t need me. I’d say it’s a miracle you even got into this festival. Hopefully, sales for ‘The Art of War’ will keep up overseas.”
“We’re comin’ up on it, mum,” the chauffeur replied. The sedan then turned a corner and that was Kabe’s signal to pull up his hoodie. His hair was now longer than it used to be (down to the shoulders) providing extra concealment of his face. He could see through the car window the flashing of the cameras and the fans clamoring to get a better look at him.
Kabe feared he would never get used to the idea of being a music celebrity. But at least he wouldn’t be the only artist who would have to put up with this chaos during the entire festival.
…
His thoughts had been everywhere but the event since arriving in Belgium. It wasn’t until it was about time to put on a show did he finally realize he needed to snap out of it. His manager did a final check of his surroundings as Kabe waited on the platform that would raise him up to the main stage.
That’s when Kabe found the courage to ask her quietly, “Um...about that thing I requested?”
“I’ll be speaking with her manager,” she assured him. “But I can’t make any promises. Your schedule is NOTHING compared to hers.”
“Yeah, I figure,” he said quietly. Kabe wanted to believe that it was worth trying considering how many years it had been...
The lights dimmed and the stage crew were running to their assigned places. Massive cheers and a booming voice could be heard as the platform below Kabe began to rise.
“His premiere album ‘The Art of War’, is the biggest selling rap album in Asia. Give it up for Japan’s King of Freestyle: KABETAIJIN!!!!!”
The platform came level with the main stage looking out at a sea of nearly 400,000 people all here to see him.
He brought the mic to his lips as he was normally instructed to.
“VOICELL LAND!!!”
The crowd’s response was deafening. So this is what it’s like…
There was still a few moments before the cue to remove his hoodie, yet Kabe’s eyes shifted towards a booth high up in the arena. The booth was private suite for other performers of the festival if they wish to watch the show during their off-time.
He sighed away from his mic. Kabe knew she was likely somewhere in this entire festival, but the idea that she would take the time off just to see him? She probably had more important things to do.
The beats were already starting when he accepted this. Head drooped down, the hoodie finally came off and the crowd went wild.
“Yo...yo…”
…
Kabe’s performance ended hours ago, but he had no plans to return to his hotel. The time had come for him to go to the performers’ private suite. He recognized many popular musicians going in and out of the entry door. As a newcomer to the industry, it made him feel intimidated when he showed his VIP pass to the guard outside.
“Kabetaijin, right?” the guard asked. “That was a good show.” The man opened the door and let Kabe in.
Unfortunately for Kabe, there wasn’t much to enjoy of the spacious suite. The seating and lounge areas were already filled with people...all there to get a glimpse of the same person.
He accepted the inconvenience and went straight to the bar to get a drink. Kabe didn’t mind the standing room but he knew he wasn’t going to get much of a view unless he were to look up at the monitor televising the event.
“The moment you’ve all been waiting for…” came the voice of the announcer. “Making her third appearance at VOICELL LAND, the songstress from Tokyo who’s charmed the entire world… Welcome back, EIKO!!!”
A glimmer began to walk across the stage. Not being able to see much detail, Kabe finally looked up at the monitor. Eiko seemed almost unrecognizable now. Then again, he doesn’t recall ever seeing her with her hair down. Her rose-gold sequin dress shone brighter with all the flash photography coming from the arena.
The cheers from the audience must have gone on for at least two minutes before the music would begin.
And once she started singing, that’s when Kabe could finally recognize her. He had watched her past VOICELL LAND appearances on the web before, but this was a completely different experience. It was like he was finally sharing the dream with her...even though this was actually her third time now.
The crowd was pumped by all of her beloved songs, flooding Kabe with endless memories, both the good and the bad of their constant struggles to reach this point. He was able to hear a couple of new songs he had never heard before (that were just as amazing as her classics). Thankfully, the songs they used to do together were exempt. It would never feel right hearing someone else sing the songs he help made with her other than him.
“My final song…” Eiko announced. “This one is always the hardest for me, but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t sing it. It got me where I am today…and...” She started to stutter. “And...so did a lot of people. I dedicate this song to those who believed in my dreams and worked so hard to get me here! So sing along if you know the words!”
Shit, Kabe thought. He already knew what song it was before the first notes started playing.
He didn’t think Eiko would be able to do it. Four years ago...since Summer Sonia...that song had become something of a curse. But its popularity meant that she was obligated to perform it from time to time.
Still, it was just as hard for him to watch her try to get through it.
“BEAUTIFUL DREAMER…”
“Huh.” Kabe didn’t realize it was the chorus already and Eiko was all smiles.
She’s not crying. It was a first, he thought to himself. Upon closer inspection of the monitor, he could see that Eiko’s eyes were full of emotion. It wasn’t a dam breaking to burst like the other times she sang. She had gotten better at holding it all back.
~“Why not sing that song?”~
Kabe had been so worried about whether Eiko could get through it, that he was subconsciously thinking back to when he was rapping along with her to that song…a warm memory which had now turned bittersweet.
It made him wonder if she was thinking the same thing he was thinking: how much he wanted to go back...
...back to when it was still called the “Roppongi Udon Shop” song…
...back to when getting 100,000 likes on some online post was the goal…
...back to when they were all working as a team…
...back to when…
Of course she would, he concluded. Just not for the same reasons he did.
Then Kabe felt something trickling down his cheek and put a hand to it. He was starting to shake profusely. “Dreamer” was always a powerful song. But it held a different meaning now for both of them.
It could never be the same as it was before.
And now he was the one unable to hold his own tears back.
As an extra humiliation, he nearly jumped when he finally noticed his manager standing next to him.
“They’ve agreed to it,” she said. “Ten minutes after the show, you’ll be escorted down to her dressing room.” She looked up to watch the same performance as Kabe on the monitor. “You know, I was surprised to hear that the two of you have quite a history together.”’
The entire arena erupted in cheers that rivaled his own performance from earlier. Kabe’s nerves were getting the better of him. But after nearly four years and on the other side of the world, he was finally going to see Eiko again.
…
He felt like a blind sardine, being squeezed in from all corners by his manager and security as he tried to followed the mass along. The hoodie stayed on, making him unable to see much of anything except for the few flashes of photographers trying to get a better shot of his face. It was also a challenge for him to try and ignore their endless questions about his personal life.
Although, Kabe had been lucky when it came to the paparazzi. He was never involved in any major controversies. There had been a few stories back in Japan suggesting that he and EIKO were “something more” as it were. The stories never held water and easily vanished from public interest within days. Kabe was relieved for Eiko’s sake. Being a bigger star, he couldn’t imagine how much harder it was for her having to deal with these people.
Once the mass arrived at a bland building outside the arena, the fans and the photographers were thankfully gone. The building that hosted the bigger performers, of course, had better security detail than the trailer Kabe had to be in for his shows.
Kabe felt like he could breathe again once he and his manager entered the long corridor. “I’ve just been informed that that Russian pop duo is causing quite a stir in a pub across the street. That should be enough for those leeches to fill their news sites tomorrow. So feel free to take your time.”
He wasn’t sure if he should ask what she meant by that. But then she said, “down that hall, third door on the left”.
Kabe found himself going alone, in the direction his manager had pointed to. The whole facility seemed quiet and deserted aside from a few security and stage crew milling about. He almost missed the door with the big EIKO written on the door.
His hand had formed a fist, but Kabe stopped before he could knock. Four years had been far too long. And considering the ridiculous amount of work that had to be done just for him to see her again… Did she even want to? Eiko had everything she ever wanted now. Why would she even take the time for him?
He was probably nothing more now than a blip in her life, a stepping stone to help her get to the top.
Kabe swore he was backing away but in doing so, his fist must have accidentally come in contact with the door.
“Come in!”
The familiar, cheerful voice caused him to freeze, bringing back fears of developing another ulcer at the worst possible moment. But there was no turning back now. With one hand on the doorknob, the other pulling back his hoodie, Kabe stepped into the room.
It was only after he closed the door behind him, did he looked up.
The first thing he saw was his own face, reflected in a massive LED mirror. And right beneath that… was the stunned face of Eiko, looking as she did during her show but with her makeup now removed.
Still in disbelief, she got up from her seat and turned to see her visitor face-to-face.
“Kabe?”
The change on her face was instant, a smile that could light up the world.
“KABE!!!” Before Kabe could prepare for it, Eiko leapt instantly into his arms and they found themselves twirling together around the room.
He couldn’t help but laugh with her at the silliness of it all.
When things finally calmed, Eiko had a better look at him. “Oh my god, Kabe! You haven’t changed at all!”
Kabe’s face flushed, uncertain whether to take that as an authentic compliment or a back-handed one. He accepted the former. “Oh...uh...thank you!”
“I wanted to see your show,” she told him, sadly. “But they were making me do photo-shoots all afternoon. I heard it was really good, though! They got to let us perform together next time...just like it used to be.”
Not knowing what to say, Kabe replied, “I saw your show. It was amazing as always.”
Eiko felt her face heating up hearing that. “Oh. That sounds more genuine coming from you…”
There was a sudden beeping and Eiko realized that her cell phone was going off. She gave it a quick glance and her face turned sour. “UGH! I don’t believe this! They promised me the rest of the night off!”
“Should I go?” Kabe asked reluctantly.
Eiko quickly said, “No way! As soon as I heard you wanted to see me, I told them to clear everything! It’s not even that important anyway. Those after parties are so boring.” She sent a short reply on her phone. Suddenly, an idea hit her. “Say Kabe...what if you and I were to sneak out of here for a while?”
He didn’t think she was serious. “What? You mean ditch our managers?”
“I’ve done it a couple of times before,” Eiko admitted. “As long as I show up to rehearsals on time, Mr. Kondo won’t be upset. Plus, we’ll have more privacy if no one knows where we are. Just give me a few minutes to change.”
Eiko was trying to reach behind her back. “Oh that’s right. I sent everyone away for when you were coming. Um...do you think you could unhook this for me, Kabe?”
The rapper’s face turned bright red when Eiko pointed to the top hook on the back of her dress. It didn’t help when she pulled her hair back in an attempt to help him. His arm was shaking as he did his best to unhook it without look at her back so much.
Some things never change.
“Thanks,” Eiko cheerfully replied.
Kabe found himself sitting on an ottoman, his back to the dressing screen that Eiko was changing in. His eyes came across a nearby table and to his amazement, he saw a couple of framed photos featuring some familiar faces. There was one of her and Owner infront in the BB Lounge. The other was of all of them gathered at Summer Sonia. It was clearly before the festival began, because in the middle of the picture was Eiko and Kongming. Kabe was standing opposite of Eiko but he could hardly remember that photo, especially with everything else that was to occur that day.
Before he could become triggered by those memories, he came across a familiar CD on her vanity.
Kabetaijin: The Art of War
“You have my album?” He asked Eiko while she was still changing.
“Oh yes!” she replied from behind the screen. “I’ve been listening to it non-stop since it came out. It’s so much better than my last one.”
Kabe wondered if she was being modest. It was his belief that the album only became successful because of his collaboration track with Sekitoba. If he hadn’t put the pressure on Kabe in the first place to try and make his own album, it was likely that he would still be stuck in Tokyo, maybe doing some Youtube free-styling with Sasatcho. He wouldn’t have minded that. It was far less pressure than where he was now.
“Okay!” Eiko came out from behind the screen, wearing an over-sized sweater, jeans, and a familiar cap. With her hair tied, she now looked like the Eiko that Kabe had always remembered. “Let’s go.”
Kabe reached for the door. But he and Eiko were frozen in their tracks by the unfamiliar voices they could hear on the other side.
“I’m telling you, I saw Kabetaijin go into EIKO’s dressing room. Get those cameras ready! We’re going to be the first ones in the world to get this story!”
They both knew they were in trouble. The moment Kabe opens that door, it would only take a few hours for any story about him and Eiko (mostly false) to reach back to every news site in Tokyo.
“I’m sorry,” he told her nervously. “I shouldn’t have come...”
“This isn’t new for me,” Eiko assured him. “Over here.” She pointed to a corner of the room where a wardrobe stood, but then she opened the door. “They designed this place for us in case we needed to avoid photographers. Isn’t it clever?”
Eiko stepped in first, then reached out to help Kabe inside. They squeezed through a dark narrow hallway until they found themselves in an empty alley.
With both of them wearing street clothes, they could blend in with what few souls were wandering about the city that night.
…
Eiko led Kabe to a city park. The moon provided plenty of light and the two of them were able to sit by lake and watch the swans that were still out.
“This park is always quiet during the festival,” Eiko told him. “It’s the perfect place for me to unwind without anyone bothering me.”
“I could use some unwinding too while I’m here,” said Kabe as he relaxed himself on the grass.
“Oh, did you hear that Azalea’s doing a U.S. tour right now? I’m so happy for Nanamin. She’s always wanted to go there.”
“You must’ve seen the entire world by now.”
“Just about,” said Eiko. “I’ve been ready to go back to Japan for a long time. The traveling around does wear me out. But I am enjoying it, though. It’s always worth it seeing the fans getting excited for me. How about you? I bet the girls are going crazy for you, now.”
Kabe was taken aback. “What?! Uh...yeah I guess. I don’t really like those after-parties either. I’ve just been keeping to myself.”
Eiko was secretly feeling relieved hearing that, though she didn’t know why. “So...how’s your new manager working out?”
“Well, she actually listens to me,” said Kabe (in an effort to impress Eiko). “I can pretty much get her to do whatever I want. Of course, she’s no Kongming, but she did get me into this festival.”
One moment later, it registered. Kabe realized his mistake in bringing up Kongming, but it was too late. He could see Eiko looking away and wiping her eyes (seeming rather embarrassed). Knowing she couldn’t hide it from him anymore, she turned back to Kabe with a sad smile. “I just miss him so much.”
Her watery eyes would bring back the worst of memories for Kabe. He didn’t see it for himself, so he couldn’t be sure what actually happened: whether he unexpectedly keeled over and had to be taken away, or maybe he disappeared into nothingness. All he knew was that as Summer Sonia was nearing its end, Kongming was suddenly gone forever. Only Eiko could possibly know, and there was no getting the truth out of her at a time when she was completely inconsolable. Owner did give Kabe credit though: He had been the closest to comforting her in the aftermath, as he was the only one that Eiko didn’t push away...likely because they shared near the same level of impact that Kongming had on their lives.
Guess he was the real deal, he thought to himself. This was a man who technically should have died 1800 years ago. Perhaps Kongming did only live to see the fulfillment of Eiko’s dreams. But this left only Kabe, Owner, and a small handful of others to pick up the pieces when it seemed like it was all going to fall apart for her again.
“I miss him too,” he finally said to her (because he meant it). He even boldly reached over to place a hand on her shoulder and it surprised him when Eiko grasped his hand. Taking a bit more initiative, he pulled her in for a much needed embrace for the both of them.
She dried the rest of her tears. “There’s something I need to confess, Kabe. The VOICELL LAND contract...from that day...I didn’t want to sign it. I was going to refuse.”
“Well, I mean, no one would have blamed you if you did,” Kabe assured her.
“I know. But I had no right to be a mess that day. I always thought that Summer Sonia would be enough for me before… I only did it in the end because I knew I couldn’t let everything Kongming did for me be for nothing.”
Kabe remembered. It had been hours after the performance, after Kongming had gone. Mr. Kondo was sympathetic upon Owner telling him the news, but still made the offer to Eiko anyway if she was up to it.
It never bothered him that he wasn’t part of the contract. What did bother him, however, were the implications of what that contract represented.
Because Kabe knew it was more than just an offer to appear at VOICELL LAND. Once Eiko signed it, the whole world would be open to her...everything beyond what she could have dreamed of.
That meant leaving everyone...and him...possibly forever.
She was still in a grieving state when the contract was laid out to her. A part of Kabe had secretly hoped that would be enough for her to walk away.
Yet the moment he watched the pen make contact with the form, he had no choice but to accept Eiko’s decision. His last hope that she would have a change of mind was dashed.
~‘Goodbye, Eiko’.~
Four years had passed since then. They had occasionally contacted each other through social media, but even that became a rarity as Eiko’s rise to stardom went ever higher and all they could find of each other was in untrustworthy music news sources.
Yet here they were now, a bit older, but as if nothing had changed and they were back at the BB Lounge getting ready for their next big foray into making (as Kongming once put it) ‘The World’s Greatest Album’.
Eiko looked out at the lake. “Kabe, do you think I made a mistake?”
His reply was was instant. “No.”
If anyone had made a mistake in Kabe’s mind...it was him. He had the opportunity, perhaps many, to have stopped it all. And that night, he would have been braver about it, had it not been for their unexpected loss. That last thing Kabe wanted to do was add more stress to an already horrible situation. Who was he to keep Eiko away from her greatest dream?
“Kongming wanted this for you, and he would have been proud that you went through with it.”
It seemed as though her lips were going to quiver again. Yet she looked back at Kabe and smiled. “I think he would say the same about you too, Kabe. I’m just glad that he did got to enjoy all kinds of music while he was here.”
Thinking back, Kabe never believed Kongming that partnering with Eiko would expand his world...but it did...in more ways than one.
“Why do you think you made a mistake?” he asked her curiously.
“I guess I didn’t realize how it hard it was going to be...not the work. I mean, how hard it was going to be to leave everyone...my family...Owner...and you…”
This left Kabe completely speechless. All this time, she had missed him. In that moment, it seemed that they had come to a silent realization that their bond went far beyond having been partners working towards a great dream.
It gave him an unexpected moment of confidence.
“Eiko, your happiness means everything to me,” he admitted holding her hand. “That’s why I was the last person on earth who was ever going to stop you from signing that contract, no matter how much it was going to hurt...”
“Kabe…”
Eiko seemed to understand the deeper meaning behind his words. She remembered how quiet he had been during the contract signing but dismissed it as part of the emotional turmoil of that day. If only she had known then, how much it would hurt her too, leaving Kabe behind.
Good going, Kabe thought to himself, sheepishly. That only took you how many years?
They looked at each other, realizing that they had both spent the past four years, trying to push away all the pain while treading separate paths. But here, now, was a chance to perhaps to change all of that.
It then took another moment to notice how literally close they were. Without further thinking, they leaned in, letting fate decide where this would go...
But just as their lips were about to touch, Kabe had a swift moment of clarity and pulled back, almost panicking. He quickly grabbed Eiko’s arm, which only confused her.
“We can’t do this,” he explained apologetically. Kabe started looking everywhere he could. “There might be one...maybe more of them...watching us right now.”
Once Eiko understood what he was talking about, she chuckled. “Kabe, I’ve been at this long enough. I can sense if there was anyone nearby trying to track me.”
She placed a hand to his cheek. That was enough for him to release the hold on her arm.
“And I can tell you right now,” she said. “...there are no cameras here.”
With that, Eiko closed the gap between them. And Kabe took it all in, unashamed that this was his first kiss, innocent yet insatiable...deepened by a need to fill a great void that had consumed their lives.
He pulled her closer and in the midst of a summer night breeze, the fear of anyone watching was long forgotten.
…
The sun was starting to blind Kabe as he squinted. Morning, already? His manager said he would be able to sleep in today and he didn’t have anything scheduled until the afternoon.
Still half asleep, he somehow knew he was still wearing his clothes. It wasn’t unusual at times for him to sleep like that. But then he noticed how abnormally big the window in his hotel room was.
And why were the walls green?
This isn’t my room, he thought.
His brain was in panic mode. That was until he discovered his arm wrapped around something.
He pulled back the blanket slightly to see Eiko, her hair in a tangled mess wearing only a tank top and shorts.
The memories after the park last night returned to him in a blur: rapping along to her songs like old times. Eiko suggesting that her hotel room would be more secure and free of any potential paparazzi. She wasn’t wrong about that. The lobby was virtually empty.
And Kabe was sure as hell that there was no alcohol involved, thankfully.
A weary smile came across his face looking at Eiko. He hated to do it, but he had to wake her up.
“Hey.” He gave her shoulder a gentle nudge. “Time to get up.”
She eventually opened her eyes. At first, she was calmly content seeing Kabe looking back at her.
Then she leapt out of the bed, her face a cross between absolute shock and embarrassment. “Ah! Uh…” She was struggling to find the right question to ask him. “Did we...do anything?”
Now Kabe was the one feeling embarrassed, and a bit unsure. “Well, to be honest: I have no idea.”
Eiko’s face was the reddest Kabe had ever seen it. She wanted to hide under the covers again and never come out.
There was no escaping it now. The papers were going to go wild with this.