Chapter Text
I won’t breathe until
I take your breath away.
I want to be alone,
but I want you to stay.
Here Steve Harrington was. The King Steve, sitting in his car at Eddie Munsons trailer. Fiddling with his fingers as he stared down, Steve had a lot of lost emotions. Feelings that made him hate himself. He had just got broken up with, and here he was, at the Eddie Munsons home.
He kept thinking to himself, all of these years, being with the girl he thought maybe loved him, maybe she didn’t want to play with his emotions, he once again was left. He wanted to be loved. Maybe that was the part of his life he missed out on. His parents, always being gone, he was surrounded by that sound of silence all the time. It made his soul feel empty. That feeling of never being wanted.
He sighed, running his hand through his brown silk hair. Before stepping out of his car, he didn’t know why he was here, especially at midnight. He hoped Eddie didn’t mind…he’d rather be anywhere than home. Anywhere. He made his way up to the door. Taking a breath in, he knocked.
Knock
Knock
Knock
Eddie had jumped up from his bed. He had been confused who could have been at his door so late, maybe it was some neighbor, or someone else. He sighed, and walked to his door. He walked swiftly before swinging the door opening “what-?” That’s when he laid his eyes on Steve. Steves doe eyes, those eyes he always looked into without a chance, sad, pleaded, he breathed in. “Steve…? Are you ok? What are you doing here man?”
Steve had shoved his hands deep into his pockets, staring down at the wood below him. “I…um…I didn’t really have anywhere else to go…and I didn’t want to go home. Can I come in?” Eddie blinked, then nodded. “Of course man.” He moved aside for the other male to slip in, he moved his eyes with Steve’s. Breathing in, he quickly closed the door and locked it.
Steve had made his way in and stopped as he fiddled with his hands again, looking around before turning to Eddie. Eddie had crossed his arms and looked between Steves two doe eyes, Eddie could notice something was wrong. Of course there was. He didn’t think Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington would actually willingly come to his house for any ol reason.
“So…what’s up man? You alright?”
Steve had shook his head, then too crossed his arms over his chest. He felt stupid for coming here. Eddie nodded. “Come on. Let’s go to my room and talk alright?” He moved, patting Steves shoulder, and leading his way to his room.
Upon arriving into his room, Eddie moved and closed his door, he turned to a pacing Steve. “I’m sorry for coming so late… this is so stupid I’m sorry.” Eddie shook his head, watching as Steve moved to sit on his bed. “It’s not stupid Steve, you know I’m always here for you…” He moved over and sat next to him, carefully, placing his hand onto his shoulder rubbing his thumb into calming circles. “Tell me what’s wrong Harrington. I won’t judge you. No matter the cause.”
Steve breathed in, staring down at the floor of Eddie Munsons room. God was he really about to tell his whole sob story to Eddie? He was. Because somehow he felt like Eddie understood, even though he’s never seen him with anyone.
“Nancy broke up with me. I uh…I just felt really lonely. I thought maybe we finally had a break through, but it need just like before. Besides she basically used me. I just…don’t understand how no one loves me. I’m lovable right? It feels like, every. Single. Relationship. I’m in, they use me for Sex or just…my feelings. I don’t know anymore man. I just thought I for once maybe someone could love me, the way I loved them.”
Eddie breathed in, Eddie knew. He knew all too well. Feeling in love and not having that feeling they love you back. He pulled his hand away and interlocked his hands together. Looking down. “How painful it is. Really. To realize you were only temporary to someone you thought was permanent…” he made a small laugh, then biting his lip. “I know it hurts, Steve. I know all too well. I thought Nancy was gonna be there for you too…even after our conversation. Maybe I was wrong…but you don’t deserve that. Especially you.”
Steve turned and looked at Eddie, and Eddie looked back and gave him a small smile, nudging him. “Come on man. You’re smart, handsome, and you need to find someone who loves you for you exactly as you are.” Steve smiled back and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah I guess I do…just hard to find someone.” Eddie nodded before he looked out.
They sat in some silence. For a minute or two. Eddie had Ben thinking to himself, a lot. Thinking about things he felt. Wanting to somehow help Steve. He then clapped his hands together and fully turned to Steve. “Well, Stevie. I know your gonna find someone. It might take a while, but I know deep from my silicon freak heart, that you’ll find your perfect match. Love is tough, man. I know it all too well. Love is the hardest thing out there. You try to find the right one and once it seems like you have them, they slip right through your fingers like sand on a beach. But you gotta learn, that sometimes you have to let go too.”
Steve had made his soft eyes look at Eddie as he spoke. He was right, of course he was. “Never took you for a romantic type Munson. That was really poetic.” Eddie laughed and shrugged Steves shoulder “oh shut it harrington.”
Steve laughed too. Looking at Eddie, he thought for a second. Looking down at his hands and then back at him. “Have you ever been in love?” Eddie had nodded. Making a plain face, like talking about it was hard. “I have. It was…possible the hardest thing ever. I’ve been in love with them for…a while I suppose. It was all one sided. I don’t think they ever really realized how much I love them.”
Steve had made a sad expression, “oh. I’m sorry Eddie.” He shrugged. “It’s alright. It’s apart of the whole love thing. I suppose as well I never really let those feelings slip.” Steve made a small smile.
“Well I guess they have to be really special for Eddie Munson to be all over them like that…tell me about them.” Eddie had squinted his eyes at him, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well. They’re smart. Handsome. They act like their isn’t a person in the world perfect for them. There’s so many things special about him…the way he takes care of others. The way his smile is, and the way he takes so many things seriously when they aren’t.” Steve tilted his head. “He?”
Eddie lifted his head and smiled. “Yeah. He. He’s the prettiest guy I know.” Steve had made a smile. “Well…he sounds really special Eddie. When can I meet this special guy. I mean again it seems really weird to think Eddie Munson has this all time crush and he’s head over heals and he won’t tell his…friend?” He teased him. Eddie smiled a little, though his stomach felt like it hurt. “Well…I mean you can…but there’s a problem with that…haha.”
Steve was confused. “What do you mean?” Eddie glanced at him, then laid back and placed his arm over his head, groaning. “What Eddie? Is he dead? Oh no did I like ruin this or something or I’m so-“ Eddie interrupted.
“It’s you.”
Steve stopped talking. He became quiet. “What?”
“It’s you. Steve.”
Steve had blinked a few times. He didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t…he didn’t know. Eddie took the silence to speak.
“I…it started back when I first held that bottle to your neck. I knew you. Of course I did. You were the popular guy in school. I…I barely knew you. I barely knew the sound of your voice…or or the comfort of your touch. The way you just. Touched me ever so sightly. But I…I feel in love. It’s not one of those things words can explain…or maybe it can. You just…really felt different from the rest of the world…everyone. I never met someone like you. You had this spark about you that no one else did. Something that precious can’t be ignored. So I fell in love with you. I fell in love with the light you gave to me….and I fell in love with the way you made me feel better. I wasn’t someone I knew you’d like. If I had to be honest, I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. And I’ve never fell for anyone as hard as I fell for you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me…and…and I love you more than anything in this world.”
Steve heart felt like it was gonna explode. Did he really feel all this about him? Steve blinked a few times. He had heard Eddie let out a sob. He was crying. Steve crawled onto the bed and put his hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry Steve. I’m sorry I feel like an idiot for saying all that to you. You deserve better than just to feel like your being used. I just felt like I couldn’t handle it. I love you more than anything and it hurt so much.” Steve shook his head. “Hey…hey…Eddie no. I’m not mad. Or upset. I just…” he breathed out.
He removed Eddie’s arms from his eyes. Looking down at him. He was crying, his eyes eyes were swollen and red. Steve moved and wiped a tear. “I just didn’t know what to do.”
“Eddie. It’s ok.”
“No it’s not. I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you. I don’t want that. I just want to be able to love you. If you don’t love me back. It’s ok. But please…please don’t let anyone else hurt you that way. You’re smart and you ARE lovable, Steve Harrington.”
Steve breathed in. He then nodded. Lowering his head as he bit at his lip. Then lifted him back. “So are you. Eddie.”
Eddie hitched his breath. He lifted himself and hugged Steve so close, so close to his body. Steve hugged back. To be fair, Steve had tears fall down too. He never felt this way, and it was imaginable.
Steve pulled away, and locked his lips with Eddie. Eddie was taken back but kissed back. He felt like heaven was surrounding him. Was this what it was like? Steve pulled away after a minute and smiled. He wiped Eddie’s tears and Eddie smiled. Steve breathed in. “I don’t know if I’m ready…yet..”
“We…we don’t have to rush…anything. You tell me when your ready, Harrington. You got me crying like a stupid baby. Of course I’ll wait. I always will wait for you.”
Steve giggled and shoved Eddie’s shoulder. “Oh shush.” Eddie smiled. “I am happy I got to know you Harrington.”
Steve nodded. “Me too, Munson. Me too.”