Work Text:
The first few minutes after the Savior had spoken her name to him had been rather traumatic.
A rush of images whizzed through Rumpelstiltskin’s brain as he departed Granny’s. He gripped his cane tightly as he adjusted to the real and cursed memories vying for dominance in his mind.
It wasn’t until he reached his shop, the familiar smells and sight of it calming his somewhat fragile nerves, that Rumpelstiltskin felt he finally had a grip on reality.
Or two realities, as it were.
Now that he remembered, Rumpelstiltskin could begin the real work he had set out to do all those years ago. He could help the Savior break the curse and then, after waiting and searching for hundreds of years, he could finally find his son.
Feeling happy for perhaps the first time in thirty years, Rumpelstiltskin walked around his shop, reacquainting himself with the items along his shelves and the long-lost secrets they held from another time and world.
When his eyes fell upon an old tea set, a pair of bright blue eyes and a dazzling smile swam into his vision. He fought against it, trying to push the image out of his thoughts.
Belle was dead. No matter how it gripped his heart to remember, he had lost her long ago. Nothing he could do would bring her back, so he tried to banish the very thought of her from his mind. He may have failed her but he would not fail his son. Not again.
He continued to walk through the shop, each object reminding him of another cursed memory. Rumpelstiltskin found himself marveling at how different he was from the man he had been for the past three decades.
His cursed persona, Mr. Gold, had been a man without friends or family, but unlike Rumpelstiltskin, he hadn’t been lonely. In fact, the pawnbroker had flourished in his solitude, never wanting for companionship or the love of another.
Though Regina had probably meant it as punishment, Rumpelstiltskin was glad she had denied him any sort of intimate relationships. He really didn’t like the idea of having to sort through the mess that feelings of cursed love would have resulted in. The thought of having woken up to find himself married to an old dragon like Maleficent was equally as terrifying.
Rumpelstiltskin ran his hand along the counter’s glass surface, thinking of all the days he had wasted behind it, unknowingly waiting for this very day. He saw his rent ledger lying there and he idly flipped through it, chuckling softly at the strange names Regina had cursed her enemies with.
It wasn’t until he had almost closed the book that a name caught his eye. A memory of his cursed life surged to the forefront of his mind with lightning speed. Rumpelstiltskin staggered as it overwhelmed him, gripping the nearest shelf to prevent himself from falling.
The thought seemed impossible – too good to be true – but Mr. Gold had seen otherwise. Those blue eyes and kind smile were alive and well in the face of Storybrooke’s librarian, Isabelle French.
Rumpelstiltskin felt a smile spread across his face, even as tears began to slowly well in his eyes. Belle was here, he thought. His Belle was alive.
At the same time, a rather less welcome thought occurred to him, causing him to grip the shelf even more tightly.
Isabelle French hated Mr. Gold.
-----------------------------------
The next morning saw Rumpelstiltskin cautiously approaching the library, knowing with every step he took that he was making a mistake.
He was about as welcome as a book burner at Isabelle French’s library and they both knew it.
Unlike the majority of the town, Isabelle did not cower before him or meekly agree to his demands. Instead, she challenged him at every opportunity, eyes blazing with self-righteous judgment and ill-concealed loathing. His Belle had always stood up to him on matters of importance during their time together, but her eyes had shown compassion and understanding back then.
It had never affected Mr. Gold to see the librarian try and oppose him. She had rarely won any battles worthwhile, so Gold had never thought of her as more than a slight nuisance. As he stepped up to the library, Rumpelstiltskin closed his eyes for a moment, thankful that she hadn’t gotten under the pawnbroker’s skin. If he had hurt Belle as Mr. Gold in any way, he would never have forgiven himself.
When he opened the library doors, his heart began to beat painfully in his chest as his gaze fell on the woman he had thought lost to him for so long.
He had spent a sleepless night thinking over the events that had led him to this moment. It hadn’t taken him long to realize that Regina had deliberately and maliciously lied to him about Belle’s death, toying with him as she had when she manipulated Belle into trying to remove his curse.
If Regina had thought him a terror to deal with before, she had no idea the nightmare she had created for herself by taking his Belle from him.
But despite Regina’s interference, he had found his way back to his True Love. And this time, he wouldn’t push her away.
Even just seeing her was enough to make his breath catch. He wanted to run up to her and embrace her, gather her close in his arms and tell her no one would ever separate them again. But he couldn’t, so he merely drank in the sight of her.
Rumpelstiltskin couldn’t believe that Gold had been unmoved by the vision before him. She was as lovely as ever, talking animatedly as she helped check out the customer before her. Her whole expression beamed with that positive energy that came so natural to her.
He stood there for a few minutes, unable to do anything but watch her every movement longingly. He knew why he had come here now, despite his misgivings. Knowing that she was alive hadn’t been enough for him; he’d needed to see her with his own eyes. Now that he had though, Rumpelstiltskin found it impossible to tear himself away from her again.
Her feelings on Mr. Gold had always been clear. He knew talking to her face to face would only cause him pain.
But then again, he had always been a bit of a masochist.
Waiting until she was alone at the desk once more, he lurked by the new arrivals section, half covered in shadows. Once the oaf who had been monopolizing her time slid past him to exit the library, he turned and made his way towards her at a brisk stride. He knew if he slowed his steps he was liable to either fall or turn around with his tail between his legs and leave.
She looked up at the sound of his footsteps, a ready smile and greeting on her lips. Both dissolved as she saw him. He tried to keep the disappointment from reflecting on his face.
“Mr. Gold,” Isabelle said, her tone barely civil. “What can I help you with today? I paid my rent at the beginning of the month. I can’t imagine that you’re here for anything else.”
Though her voice was far from welcoming, he thought it the most beautiful sound in the world. It wasn’t until a moment or two later that her words actually caught up with him. He hesitated, realizing too late that he had thought this through even less than he had previously thought.
“A book,” he covered quickly. “I’d like to check out a book.”
Isabelle raised an eyebrow. “And here I thought the only things you enjoyed reading were eviction notices.” Her arm gestured to the bookshelves on her right. “Have at it.”
She was clearly dismissing him, but his feet remained rooted to the spot. The thought of leaving her so soon, even if it was only to get a book, seemed a harsh sentence. Instead of turning towards the books, he took a few steps closer to her desk. She eyed him warily.
“Actually, I’d like to hear some recommendations, if I may,” he said, trying very hard to keep from being too obvious in his fumbling attempt to continue the conversation. “It’s been quite a long time since I indulged in my love of reading.”
She crossed her arms as she narrowed her eyes at him. “What kind of game are you playing, Mr. Gold? Your sudden interest in our bookshelves after all these years is a bit hard to believe. And as for your love of reading, well – “ She snorted. “I think we both know that the only things you love are money and power.”
Rumpelstiltskin flinched. Her words paralleled their last conversation, right before he had thrown her out of his castle and his life. In the months following the news of her death, he had replayed that moment over and over again until it was burned into his memory, right alongside the other worst moment of his life – the night he had lost Bae.
He found himself unable to reply. His mind and heart were still too raw from the onslaught of thoughts and emotions from his reawakened memories. Combined with the lack of sleep from the night before, he found his usually quick wit had deserted him. Once again, tears of frustration and loss pooled in his eyes. He tried to blink them back, but unlike him, they were strong and fell regardless of his wishes.
Hoping he could escape before she saw his tears, Rumpelstiltskin turned to leave before he broke down completely. “Excuse me,” he managed to choke out.
“W-wait!” He stopped mid-step despite himself at her voice. He closed his eyes in shame, realizing she had seen his moment of weakness. “Are you alright, Mr. Gold?”
Her voice was softer than it had been before. Her words kinder than any Isabelle French had ever spoken to him in the thirty years they had lived together in the cursed town of Storybrooke.
Against his better judgment, he turned back to face her, quickly reaching out his free hand to wipe the tears from his eyes while his other hand gripped his cane like a lifeline.
“I’m fine,” he lied. His voice shook and he saw from the concerned, though still wary, expression on her face that she didn’t believe him.
“You are not alright,” Isabelle said. She reached for a tissue behind her desk and passed it to him. He gave her a small smile in return as he accepted it.
A moment of two of silence passed. He saw her fidget behind the desk. “I shouldn’t have said that,” she said quickly, not meeting his eyes. “About power and money being the only things you love.”
He let out a shaky laugh. “You don’t have to apologize to me. There’s been far worse said of me over the years.”
She gave him a look brimming with compassion. It felt like both a balm and a dagger through his heart. Though Rumpelstiltskin’s first instinct in any situation was to keep the truth concealed under mountains of lies and trickery, he realized that this might be his one opportunity to connect with the cursed version of Belle. She had never looked this way at Mr. Gold before, her expression open and concerned. Her distrust of him was still there, of course, but he knew he could play upon her natural instinct to comfort those in pain. It would always be the strongest force in Belle, in this land or any other.
He didn’t have a plan. He didn’t have a way to bow out gracefully if this went wrong. But he knew he had to take a chance.
Rumpelstiltskin owed it to her to be the brave one, for once.
“I suppose I am a bit of a mess today,” he admitted, allowing his eyes to lock with her earnest gaze. “I recently found out that someone I had thought passed away a long time ago is actually very much alive.”
Isabelle gave a little gasp at this. He could practically see her inner struggle with her innate curiosity, which quickly won out. “What happened?” she asked. “Why did you think they were dead?”
“After our – relationship ended, she returned to her father. He was not the most understanding of men and I was told he disciplined her for her time with me.” Rumpelstiltskin closed his eyes for a brief moment. The memory of losing Belle was still vivid and painful, even as she stood alive and well before him. “They said she killed herself.”
The look on Isabelle’s face when he opened his eyes again was one of horror. “Who would lie about something like that?”
Rumpelstiltskin felt his anger begin to boil beneath the surface of his skin. “Someone who is going to pay dearly for it,” he gritted through his teeth.
In his fury, he didn’t notice Isabelle shrink back a little from him, her early wariness of him returning.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, taking a deep breath to bring his anger into check. He couldn’t risk scaring her off, especially now that he had finally gotten her to see him as something other than the town’s monster for once. “I didn’t mean to frighten you, I just – “ He ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly. “ – I suppose I’m still in shock.”
Isabelle nodded, but he couldn’t tell if she believed him. “You know,” she said cautiously, “it might be better to seek out this… friend of yours instead. You clearly still care about her and reconciliation is always a better choice than revenge.” She gave a shy smile. “It also is far less likely to end with you getting thrown in jail than whatever you were planning a moment ago.”
Rumpelstiltskin looked at her in amazement. Even in this land, with all the obstacles Regina had set before them, Belle still knew him better than anyone else.
“Yes,” he said, a small smile of his own playing about his lips. “I believe you’re right, Miss French. She is still very important to me. I’d like to win her back if I can.” He searched her eyes for any recognition, hoping she would be able to see the truth behind what he was telling her.
She gave him a full smile then and gestured towards the bookshelves. “Would you still like to check out a book? I’m sure we could find something that might interest you.”
There was nothing in her expression that indicated she remembered anything, but Rumpelstiltskin wasn’t about to give up.
He nodded, his heart leaping at the chance to spend more time with her. “I’d like that very much.”
As Isabelle French, Storybrooke’s librarian, walked around the counter to help him on his quest to win her back, Rumpelstiltskin realized that it was a good enough place as any to start.