Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Drip, drip.

The sound pierced Yerim's ears as she felt the burning sensation spread from her abdomen to her entire body, aware of the way she felt her lungs constricting.

The attacker retracted the blade from her poor victim's flesh before plugging it in once more and twisting her knife, wanting to be completely sure she was as good as dead.

Yerim coughed, blood dripping past her lips as she slumped onto the cold gravel ground, her breaths becoming shorter as she stared up at the moon above her.

Tears pricked at her eyes as she realized that would probably be the last time she'd see it.

Crunch, crunch.

The retreating footsteps of the killer taunted Yerim, her vision going blurry as she accepted her fate. 

-

Of course, Yerim assumed that was the last time she'd ever experienced the world - that assumption was very wrong, however.

She felt cold all over, lighter even, but above all, she noticed that she wasn't breathing anymore. And that wasn't affecting her.

She stood up, painfully aware of the alley she stood in, looking down and nearly shrieking when she noticed the figure below her feet. 

Was that her?  

It sure looked like her. Black hair stuck out from underneath what she recognized as her favorite hat, ID tag from her work half-fallen out of her jeans pocket. 

However, there was also a wound on her stomach that was coated in blood, the figure pale and showing no signs of life. 

Was she dead?  

Yerim bent down and reached her hand to touch the figure, jumping back when her hand went right through her arm.

"Was wondering when you'd awaken." 

Jumping once more at the voice that sounded in the otherwise silent alleyway, Yerim was on alert now, looking around the entire alley in search for the source of the voice. 

She couldn't say she imagined it being from someone who literally walked through the alleyway wall. 

The woman looked not much older than Yerim herself, blonde hair covering her forehead as she stuck her hands in her pockets. "In case you haven't figured out already, you're kinda dead."

"K-Kinda?" Yerim stuttered, backing away as the girl walked closer to her.

"Kinda," she nodded. "I mean, I'm talking to you, aren't I? Your body's dead, your spirit isn't."

"I'm not sure if I understand," Yerim mumbled, staring intently at the girl.

The blonde sighed.

“Your life was done in an injustice. You just got out of high school and had a nice job. Had a lot going for you and then someone took it away from you." Yerim wasn't sure where this was going or how the girl knew so much about her. "Your body lost the fight, your soul is still up for battle. Basically, you're gonna be like this until your killer is brought to justice." 

Yerim's eyes widened. 

"How long have you been like this?" She asked, wondering if it was a touchy subject.

"Well, first of all, my name is Haseul. In case you were wondering," the girl shrugged. "And about twenty years. It sucks because I know who it was, saw her face and everything. Can't tell anyone though because of this stupid rule." 

Yerim raised an eyebrow at Haseul, glancing uneasily at her own dead body.

“What rule?"

Haseul huffed, rocking back and forth on her toes. 

“Spirits can only communicate with other spirits, and the person who took their life.” She sighed. "So even if I knew where she was - which I don't because it has been ten years - it's not all that easy to convince a killer to turn themselves in." 

Yerim nodded, silently thinking about how long she'd be like this; and where she'd go if she ever was brought to justice. She'd never seen the killer's face after all, the hood and mask covering her features.

"How were you killed?" She asked, softly grazing her fingers over the spot on her abdomen where her stab wound would be.

"Drowned," Haseul sighed. "I can still remember it too even though it's been so long. I don't know if people realize just how much that hurts, by the way. I felt my lungs were being filled by lava." 

Noticing the scared look on Yerim's face, Haseul ceased the conversation topic. She didn't really care about talking about her death, it was obvious that she died so why hide how it happened? 

She never went into full details, however. 

"Enough about that. I'll show you around and all that."

Furrowing her eyebrows, Yerim followed the girl, glancing back at her body every so often.  "It won't be long until somebody finds you. That alley is in between two restaurants, the employees will probably find you when they go to that dumpster tomorrow morning." 

Noticing Yerim had stopped her tracks, Haseul raised an eyebrow and turned around. "What is- oh..." 

Walking over to the now teary-eyed girl, Haseul sighed.

"I'm dead," Yerim whispered out. "I'll never get to talk to my parents again or my friends. What did I do to deserve this? I had so much that I wanted to do, Haseul!"

The blonde female patted Yerim's back, remembering clearly when she was in this stage of realization. 

"I know Yerim, believe me," she mumbled, allowing Yerim to hug her. "They don't realize what happens after death is what hurts the most."

"I told my mom I'd come over tomorrow!" Yerim sobbed into Haseul's chest, the other nodding and petting her hair. "And my brother! We were so close!" 

Haseul didn't bother telling Yerim not to cry or anything of the sort. Being a spirit wasn't exactly fun. You couldn't speak to any humans except for your killer; going to see loved ones was like watching them from behind a wall of glass.

No matter how loud you yelled or how many times you tried to grab their arm; your hand would always slip through and your voice would remain unheard.

Haseul had gone through that for ten years, she knew well how Yerim was feeling right now.

"I'd like to show you some place no living human can see, alright? You can rest there," Haseul suggested, the girl nodding and wiping her eyes.

She took one last look at her lifeless form before looking back at Haseul. 

“Alright."

-

The place Haseul brought her to was most definitely not somewhere she would even think about going as a human. The house looked as if it belonged to billionaires, Yerim almost felt intimidated just thinking about it.

"The owner's daughter was killed a few years back," Haseul stated, continuing to walk towards the house. "Before her spirit was given justice, she said that, from then on, any wandering spirit is allowed here. It's most definitely the most haunted house in all of Korea, it's just that nobody knows it."

Yerim nodded softly, heart still aching as the idea of her future as a spirit dwelled on her. "Come on," Haseul urged, disappearing through the brick wall of the mansion, Yerim taking a deep breath before she did so as well.

She shook her head once she arrived in the entrance hall, noticing a maid who was sweeping dust off a table. "I'll let you look around later, but for now I'd like you to meet a few people."

Yerim jumped slightly when Haseul grabbed her wrist and pulled her up a large staircase. She let go once they were at the top, flattening out her clothes before walking through a door to the left of them both.

Assuming she was meant to follow, Yerim did as well. 

"Yerim, this is Yeojin." Yerim locked her eyes with the girl who was sitting on the floor. Another sat on the bed in the room, seeming completely oblivious to the three spirits in the room with them.

"She’s alive." Yeojin pointed to the girl who lay on the bed. "Assuming that Haseul told you basically the only rules spirits have, you'll know we won't be bothering her by being in here."

Yerim nodded and stared at the girl who scrolled through her phone. 

How many spirits had she been in the presence of when she was alive?

"As Haseul said, I'm Im Yeojin."

Yerim's eyes widened.

"You were the-" she began, only for the other to cut her off.

"Girl from that famous kidnapping ten years ago? That's me." Yeojin sighed, standing up before sitting down on the bed in front of the only living human in the room. "People are still looking for me, aren't they? It's a shame really, considering there's still a few who think they'll find me alive."

"How did you actually... you know..." Yerim trailed off. She wasn't sure if everyone would be so laid back about the subject.

"Die?" Yerim nodded. As Yeojin leaned back on her palms, Yerim noticed how part of her hand disappeared into the living girl’s ankle. She ignored the unsettling feeling in her stomach. "I'll skip past all the gruesome details of what occurred before my demise... but I guess a kidnapper can only have fun with their victims for so long. When I was no longer entertaining, she got rid of me; bullet to the head."

Yeojin watched Yerim fight a grimace and sighed. "I watched her bury me too. Right in her own backyard- the sick fuck."

"I don't even know who killed me," Yerim mumbled, catching the sympathetic look on Haseul's face as she sat down next to Yeojin. "I was walking home from work at night. Shortcuts usually aren't my thing, but I've walked down the alley I did that night numerous times before. I didn't think anything of it until someone jumped me."

Yerim paused as she felt tears well up in her eyes. "Was stabbed twice right around here." She touched right below her belly button, closing her eyes as she was still able to feel the pain she felt in her last moments.

"It wasn't so long ago either, was it?" Yerim shook her head in response to Yeojin's words, opening her eyes slowly.

"Hours ago," she answered, Yeojin nodding and patting her back.

"I'm sorry, I remember what it was like in the beginning. It's a lot to take in." Her voice was soft as if trying to soothe the other spirit's emotions.

"It's fine. It's fine." Yerim sighed and stood up. "Might as well get used to it, yeah? Who knows how long I'll be like this."

"Yerim-"

She shook her head. "I'm fine." She turned to the blonde spirit. "Haseul, I'm going on a walk." 

Haseul and Yeojin shared a look as the newest spirit disappeared through the wallpapered wall, Yeojin sighing.

"I wish the best for her. I really do."

-

Yerim sat against the wall in the kitchen, knees pulled up to her chest as she watched the chef bustle about as he created what Yerim could only assume to be today's breakfast.

The sun hadn't risen yet, reminding Yerim that just mere hours ago, she had a beating heart, a working respiratory system and a future ahead of her.

Now it was only time until her cold, pale body was found by someone.

Only time until it was all on the news and only time until her own funeral was being planned. 

She was painfully aware of how many tears she had shed in the past hours already, but couldn't help it as she leaned forward and sobbed into her knees; not caring how loud she was.

She couldn't care less if other spirits heard her, she deserved to cry.

"You must be new."

Yerim lifted her head up and wiped her eyes, watching as a young, dark-haired girl approached her.

She couldn't be older than twelve, which made Yerim's heart ache at the thought of someone so young losing their life. "I'm Lucy."

"Yerim," she responded, Lucy smiling and sitting down next to her.

"A few months ago, I was killed in a hit-and-run car accident," Lucy said, Yerim watching her intently as she did so. "I won't be here much longer though, they found the guy that did it, and he's going to court for a month."

Lucy picked up Yerim's hand in her smaller ones and held it. "I hope the same happens to you, Miss Yerim."

"Thank you, Lucy." The older girl smiled down at her, noticing the fairly translucent she had as opposed to her. That must be what happens when you're being set free. 

"I want to see the man who killed me before he goes to jail though, scare him a bit, you know?" Yerim smiled softly at Lucy's comment, nodding.

"Yeah, I understand."

-

"Yerim, it's too soon. I'm not sure if you should-"

"Haseul, I'm going and that's final."

It had been a week since Yerim's murder case had spread to the news, her family and friends now fully aware of her fate.

She wanted to go see them the day they had been told, but Haseul had told her it was too soon; that she'd be just as hurt seeing her loved ones grieve over her.

So, Yerim waited a week.

Haseul was telling her that this was still too short of a wait, trying to convince her to wait at least a month, maybe two.

That was too long.

Which would be the reason she walked through the wall and out of her conversation with the older spirit, then breaking into a sprint towards her house.

It was a weird sensation as she completely ran through some people, still in awe of how they weren't affected in the slightest.

As her steps slowed once her house member came into view, Yerim saw the police car in her driveway and came to a full stop.

She walked slowly towards her front porch, small steps as she passed through the wall; hearing voices come from the living room.

It looked exactly as it did when Yerim left it a week ago.

"Mrs. Choi, I understand that you're grieving, but all the information you could give us would be extremely valuable." Yerim heard what she assumed to be a police officer as she walked into the living room, heart shattering in two when she caught sight of her family.

Her brother had his strong face on. The one he wore when he was trying not to cry. Her mother was the worst, still crying into the palms of her hands as her son tried to comfort her. 

Haseul was right. It was too soon.

She watched as the police officer realized he wouldn't get much out of Mrs. Choi out at the moment, turning to her son instead. "Yerim’s brother, is it?" 

Her brother nodded. "Tell me about Yerim." 

Her brother took a deep breath and clasped his hands together.

"She was extremely hardworking, caring, and kind. She was never rude to anybody," he stated shakily, voice still raw from crying.

The officer nodded.

"Hardworking? Did she stay out at work late often then?" He asked.

"Sometimes she'd come home as late as two in the morning. She worked for an entertainment company, so there were always lots of things for her to do there," her brother added. 

“She was a choreographer at Blockberry Creative, was she not?” The officer asked, Yerim watching and leaning against the wall as her family nodded.

"She always stayed late at the building in the studio, working on new choreographies.” Her dad sighed. “She didn't like being in the dark too long though, and she didn't have her license yet; so she took shortcuts on the way home.”

"Which would explain where she was found." Yerim walked further into the room, sitting on the couch next to her brother and feeling tears well up in her eyes. "Do you know of anyone Yerim could have... got on bad terms with?"

Mrs. Choi looked up and quickly shook her head.

"Of course not," she exclaimed. "As my son said, Yerim was extremely kind to everybody she came across."

The officer nodded and stood up, wiping down his wrinkled shirt.

"I think that should be good. Thank you so much for your time and I wish you the best."

Yerim stood up along with the officer and walked back through the front wall, not being able to stay in the house much longer. Maybe one day, she would return to see them, but today the atmosphere was too heavy, it was taking a toll on Yerim.

She sighed and stuck her hand in her pockets, biting back tears as she walked to the only other place she wanted to visit.

-

The café was exactly as she remembered it, although her favorite barista wasn't working like she usually did.

'Jiwoo was probably grieving too,' she thought. 

Yerim sighed and sat down at her usual table by the window, happy to see that it was empty. It really wouldn't matter if it wasn't considering Yerim was basically invisible, but it was more enjoyable to her.

She stared outside at all the people who were going about their day. All of the people who still had a home to go to at the end of the day and all of the people who still had a future ahead of her.

Yerim was jealous.

Yerim was sad.

She was sad that she'd never hug her brother or secretly say goodnight to him when she got home at the crack of dawn. 

She was sad she'd never taste mom's cooking again or joke around with her dad. 

She was sad she'd never have fun with her friends again on her days off or teach them one of her new choreographies just for the hell of it.

She was sad that she’d never get to have fun with her idol group again. They always had said that she was their favorite choreographer. Given that she was more around their age, they related to her more.

But now, she was gone, and they needed to find a replacement for her.

Yerim was completely consumed by her thoughts, not even noticing when somebody approached her. Of course, she thought it was another spirit, given what Haseul told her the day she died.

"You looked kind of sad, so I had my boss whip you up a drink in the house."

Yerim stared incredulously at the barista who stood in front of her, her youthful face framed by her black hair and making her look not much older than Yerim was before.

She looked down at her drink then to how the barista looked behind the counter and flashed a smile before looking back at Yerim.

"Spirits can only communicate with other spirits and the person who took their life." 

Words left Yerim's mouth before she could stop them, not able to comprehend the situation well.

"You killed me."

-

Hyunjin was trying to lie low right now.

She sighed as she stood at her kitchen sink, wiping the dried blood off of the blade she had forgotten to clean from the event that happened weeks ago.

She didn't plan to kill Yerim. The girl was just at the wrong place, wrong time.

Hyunjin got a thrill out of killing people, and she knew that it wasn't normal, but she couldn't care less. Most of the murders and disappearances that occurred over the past years were probably committed by her.

She had gotten good at covering her tracks though.

She never killed anyone the exact same way, therefore making the police believe it was multiple people instead of one.

She was confident she could get away with all she had done.

But that didn't stop her heart racing when the face of the black-haired girl she had taken the life of not too long ago popped up on her TV screen, along with a plea for anybody who had information.

'It's all part of the thrill,' Hyunjin told herself, continuing to watch the news segment out of the corner of her eye and listened as she dried off the sharp metal. She didn't really know anything about Yerim after all.

"Twenty-year-old, Choi Yerim was found dead in an alleyway early Sunday morning last week. She suffered multiple stab wounds, her cause of death being blood loss."

Hyunjin twirled the handle of the knife in her hands a few times before placing it back into her kitchen drawer, whistling softly as she did so.

"Choi was a choreographer at Blockberry Creative, well known for choreographing the company’s most known idol group. Police are asking anyone who might have information to come forward as soon as possible."

"Nope, sorry." Hyunjin smirked, picking up the remote and switching channels before picking up her phone.

It was a shame that she died, saving many people's lives, but Hyunjin shrugged it off. It won't take long . 

She scrolled through her Twitter feed as she popped a piece of bread into the toaster. She sighed once she noticed a few tweets expressing remorse towards the Choi family, realizing that some of the people she was following must be close with Yerim and her family.

She did vaguely remember her friend, Jiwoo, mentioning a 'Yerim' that she wanted Hyunjin to meet, but they never did.

Hyunjin wondered if they were the same girl.

She clicked on Jiwoo's profile, and she only needed to read a few tweets before her question was answered.

Jiwoo (RIP YERIM<3) [@kjiwoo] : Yerim, keep dancing up on those clouds for me!

Jiwoo (RIP YERIM<3) [@kjiwoo] : Such a creative and beautiful person, lost way too soon.

Jiwoo (RIP YERIM<3) [@kjiwoo] : I'll miss you, Yerim. I hope you're keeping a close eye on us.

If Hyunjin could feel remorse, it would be right around here that she would begin to feel it. Although she did frown slightly at the heartfelt words in Jiwoo's tweets, she merely retweeted them before turning her phone off.

If she didn't show even the slightest bit of grieving, she might be pinned down as suspicious. 

She can't have that happening.

Her toast popped up and she buttered it, biting into the slice as she walked to her bedroom to get changed. She had picked up a few shifts at the coffee shop, the owner having given Jiwoo a few days off.

Hyunjin now realized that this was probably time for her to grieve over Yerim.

She shrugged and picked up the apron she needed to wear into work, putting a hat on to cover her messy hair and grabbing her work keys before walking back in her living room.

She turned off the TV channel that was talking about Yerim once more, sighing and walking out of the front door, locking it behind her.

She was about to step off her porch step when a person sprinted past her and nearly knocked her off of her feet. Hyunjin shook her head and walked onto the sidewalk, crushing a worm beneath her shoe. 

-

Hyunjin always found it interesting how little everyone knew about the people around her. 

Sure, she wished that lady to have a good day, but what if she was currently going through a crippling divorce? What if she found out she had a terminal illness? 

"Have a good day!" She would say and might've mocked the lady without even meaning to. 

Same with Hyunjin herself.

People will tip her and engage in conversation with her, telling her how much she brightened up the shop.

If only they knew that the cheery barista they loved had killed five people (and counting). Wouldn't love her so much then now would they?

Hyunjin snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the bell on the door chime, signaling that a customer had walked in. Recognizing them as the same sprinting girl she had encountered on her way to work, her eyes were glued to her hair and her clothes once more.

She watched the customer intently for the past few minutes, furrowing her eyebrows as she watched the girl's expression grow so sad as if she could cry.

Hyunjin huffed and walked to the back.

"Vivi? Can I get one of your drinks from the house?" She called, watching as the barista eyed her quizzically.

"You're paying for it, Hyunjin?" She asked with Hyunjin nodding.

"I am.”

Vivi sighed and quickly whipped up the easiest latte they had, handing it to the girl and watching as she walked over to a seemingly empty table. Shaking her head, she went back to work. 

Hyunjin walked over to the table and set the drink down, watching as the customer stared at her in what seemed like shock.

"You looked kind of sad so I had my boss whip you up a drink on the house." Hyunjin smiled, looking back to the kitchen and smiling at Vivi.

The customer stared at Hyunjin a moment more before saying three words that nearly made Hyunjin’s knees give out.

"You killed me."

"C-Come again?" Hyunjin asked, looking at the store around her. This wasn't real, right?

"You stabbed me last week when I was coming home from working. I'm Choi Yerim." The voice that spoke did sound exactly like the one that was calling out for help a few nights ago.

"No, you're not. This isn't real. You're dead."

Yerim stood up and sighed.

"I'm a spirit and until you turn yourself in, I'm staying like this." Hyunjin watched in horror as Yerim reached and waved her hand through the girl sitting behind her as if to prove a point.

"I-I don't care," Hyunjin mumbled, picking up the latte and decided to drink it herself. "Just leave me alone."

"Actually, no." Yerim's cold hand grabbed Hyunjin’s arm, making her nearly shriek.

(This surprised Yerim at first as well, expecting her hand to go right through.)

"You killed me," Yerim said, moving her face fairly close to Hyunjin’s. "So now I'm here to haunt you, bitch."

-

"You found your killer already?!"

Haseul's voice alerted basically every other spirit in the household. It wasn't very common for a murder victim to find their killer so soon.

Yerim found her killer in just over a week.

Aware of all the eyes on her, Yerim sighed and nodded.

"More like she found me. I went to one of my favorite cafés just to reminisce, you know? When she walks up to me and hands me a drink on the house because I looked kind of sad. You'd think the girl would remember the face of somebody she killed, wouldn't you?" Yerim huffed and crossed her arms. "She looks so young too. If she gets caught, that's her entire life gone."

Yeojin scoffed and shook her head.

"She deserves it. Your entire life is literally gone because of her. I don't care if she’s nineteen or ninety. She deserves to be locked up," she grumbled, Yerim nodding and leaning against the wall.

"I followed her home from the café yesterday so I plan to basically move in there and annoy the fuck out of her. Because of this, I might not see you guys for a bit." 

Haseul sighed and walked over to give Yerim a hug, patting her back. 

"I wish I could do that to my killer. Good luck, best to you." She smiled, Yerim nodded and chuckled as she ruffled her hair.

"Are you leaving now?" Yeojin asked, Yerim nodding in response. "It's fine if you don't visit us, torment the fuck out of that murderer, alright?" 

Yerim chuckled. 

"I will, don't worry."

-

"So, is killing a hobby for you, or?" 

Hyunjin scribbled down her school notes nervously, attempting to ignore Yerim, who sat perched atop the desk chair in her room. "I would've really preferred not dying, you know. It hurt a lot."

Hyunjin tightened her grip around her pencil and sighed. 

"I bet it did," she mumbled, looking back at her laptop.

"Oh, so it speaks," Yerim huffed. "Have you killed before, Hyunjin? Or was I your first?"

"You seem awfully calm talking to the person who took your life," Hyunjin stated, turning around to face the spirit.

"And you seem awfully calm talking to a ghost of the person you killed," the spirit retorted, standing up and walking closer to Hyunjin. "But I suppose I should act differently, shouldn't I? Maybe do this?"

The raven-haired girl couldn't say she was expecting it when the back of Yerim's hand collided with the side of her face, causing a stinging sensation to take over the skin there.

"Fair enough-" 

Hyunjin was cut off by Yerim's fist this time, her knuckles cracking off of Hyunjin’s jaw and making the other groan in pain.

"I wasn't sure if that would work since I can't touch other living people, but I'm glad it did," Yerim sneered. "What's the point, hm? If you get caught, that's your entire life down the drain." 

She watched as Hyunjin rubbed the reddened skin of her sore face, suppressing the desire to punch the boy once more.

"It's the thrill, Yerim." Hyunjin chuckled, standing up and looking down at the spirit. "You'll never understand the true adrenaline rush taking somebody's life will give you."

"I won't." Yerim nodded. "I couldn't even if I wanted to because in order to do so, I need to be alive."

"It's not like I planned to kill you." Hyunjin sat back down on her bed and looked back at the online course she was taking. "It could've been anyone really. If you didn't walk down that alley, you'd probably be having dinner with your parents now."

Yerim struck Hyunjin’s face once more and narrowed her eyes. 

"You make it sound like you're trying to blame the murder on the victim. You piece of shit," she spat, Hyunjin wincing and sighing.

"Can you stop that? If I get a bruise tomorrow, I won't know how to explain it," she groaned, crying out as Yerim kicked her shin before sitting back in the desk chair.

"You have no right to ask favors from me. I don't care if I cause you a few inconveniences, you deserve to live with consequences," she spoke, words laced with venom in a way that nearly had Hyunjin nervous.

She shrugged and turned her back on the spirit. 

"I may deserve to live with them, but I don't really want to. So don't count on me turning myself in anytime soon. It's not on my to-do list." 

Yerim stared back at Hyunjin with hatred. She got up and pushed open Hyunjin’s door, having realized quickly that she can interact with her killer's possessions as well.

How fun.

"Yerim, don't touch anything." 

Yerim rolled her eyes at the request from the murderer in the household, walking throughout the house and knocking over a few things if she felt like it (that picture frame didn't look important anyway).

Walking now into the kitchen, Yerim frowned. Spirits don't eat, do they? She huffed, glaring in the direction of Hyunjin’s bedroom and looking around nonetheless. She noticed the apron of a familiar café thrown onto the kitchen counter and Yerim scrunched up her eyebrows, instinctively picking it up and folding it before setting it back down.

She continued her trip of nosiness, rummaging through the girl’s drawers (although she didn't think she would find anything interesting considering this was a kitchen). 

In the third drawer however, she found something. 

"Yerim, I heard something smash and I would really appreciate it if you don't trash my-... oh shit." Hyunjin’s voice started out loud as she called for the spirit from down the hallway, quickly quieting when she noticed the object in her hand.

It was something the both of them were a bit too familiar with. "Yerim, put the knife down." 

Yerim stared at the sharp metal, her expression a mixture of shock and freight. 

"So, it's just a hobby to you, isn't it?" Her voice was soft as she stared at the very blade that ended her life. "Just wash it off and pretend nothing ever happened, hm?" 

Hyunjin backed away as Yerim approached her, trying to think rationally about the situation. 

The last thing she needed was to live with a murderous ghost.

"Yerim, come on, just put it down-" 

Hyunjin held her breath as she watched the spirit drive the blade into the side of her kitchen counter, the wood cracking around it.

"You really thought I was going to kill you, didn't you?" Yerim sneered, beginning to walk off to another part of Hyunjin’s house. "I may be dead, but I'm still a better person than you'll ever be."

-

"It's just a joke, Haseul!"

Haseul sputtered as her 'friend' yanked her up from underneath the water's surface by her hair, her scalp and lungs burning as she breathed in the oxygen she had been deprived of a few moments before.

Her head was dunked underneath the surface once more, trying to catch another breath too late and inhaling a hearty amount of the water she was surrounded in. The salt in the water stung and burned in every way possible, Haseul letting out a strangled cry that was muffled by the water. She thrashed her arms, attempting to claw at her attacker and free herself from their grip. 

But to no avail.

Her attempts became weaker, beginning to feel lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. Due to instinct, she breathed in once more, lungs burning as more water filled them. She coughed, bubbles floating up to the surface. Haseul could feel her eyes drooping, her limbs beginning to feel a lot heavier than before.

She allowed them to close, realizing quickly that she wasn't going to win.

She succumbed to the darkness, the last remnants of her breath floating to the surface and disappearing.  

"Haseul, are you alright?" 

Haseul's eyes flew open and she brought a hand to her face, sighing when she felt that it was wet with tears. Spirits don't necessarily need to sleep, but Haseul and many others do so just to pass time. 

If they're lucky, they'll experience a dream. 

If they're not, they'll have a nightmare. Usually a replay of the moment they died. 

Haseul looked up at the worried face of a spirit named Jungeun. She and Haseul weren't extremely close, but they've shared a few laughs and will talk from time to time. 

"I-I'm fine." She sighed, Jungeun sitting down on the floor next to her.

"Did you dream of the day-" Haseul cut her off with a nod. No matter how many times she rewatched the moment when she slept (which was many times), she still wouldn't hesitate to affect her. She tried to keep a strong front around the other spirits, acting as if she didn't care talking about her death. She was always glad they never asked for details as she knew that she’d choke up if she had to tell them her own friend took her life.

She acted as if it was old news when she first met Yerim, not wanting to scare the new spirit into thinking that now she was doomed to a life of sadness.

"Are you alright now?" Jungeun asked, pulling her sweater sleeve over her hand and leaning over to wipe the tears off of the older girl’s face. Although they weren't as close as she and Yeojin were (Yeojin being the only to know all of the details of Haseul's death), Jungeun had experienced Haseul in tears quite a few times; which wasn't something she let the other spirits see.

She was kind of like a grandma here, she was one of the oldest spirits (in terms of how long they've been dead, Haseul was only sixteen when she died), therefore they all kind of looked up to her, so she didn't want to show weakness around them. 

It was a pride thing.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. Thanks." Haseul smiled, ruffling the light pink hair atop the other spirit's head. Jungeun smiled and pulled Haseul into a hug, the older chuckling and patting her back before they pulled away.

"Jungeun?" Haseul smiled knowingly at the voice they both heard, pushing the other lightly.

"That's Jinsoul. You better get going then."

-

"Yerim, I'm going out."

"Well, isn't that cool? Guess I'm going too then."

Hyunjin narrowed her eyes at the spirit and walked towards the front door, opening it and stepping outside. 

"No, you're not," she stated, closing the door behind her and locking it. Yerim rolled her eyes and walked straight through it, chucking softly as she noticed Hyunjin’s fairly shocked expression once she noticed Yerim outside with her.

"Wow, you're a smart one, aren't you?" Yerim smirked, Hyunjin glaring at her and began to walk down the sidewalk.

"Fine. Come with me. I don't care," she huffed, Yerim jogging softly until she caught up to the girl. "You're only going to hurt yourself by doing so." 

Yerim raised an eyebrow, studying the other's hard expression.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, Hyunjin sighing and looking up at the sky for a moment.

"I'm going to meet a friend," she answered, Yerim furrowing her eyebrows. "Her name is Kim Jiwoo."

Yerim froze, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk as she watched the other continue to walk down the sidewalk. Kim Jiwoo? As in the Jiwoo that Yerim used to know, who works at the café? Kim Jiwoo with the unmistakable smile?

No…

"You stay away from Jiwoo!" Yerim yelled, Hyunjin stopping and turning around. She was now quite far away from Yerim, but that didn't stop her from seeing the pained expression across the spirit's face.

"Why? Are you afraid I'm going to hurt her?" Hyunjin asked, Yerim not answering right away. "Because I didn't really plan on it, but now that you mention it..." 

Hyunjin smirked as she watched Yerim stride up to her, a deadly glare being sent in her direction.

"Now, you listen here," Yerim hissed, jabbing her finger into Hyunjin’s chest. "If you even so much as lay a finger on that girl, I will not hesitate from strangling you in your sleep. Got it?"

Hyunjin gulped, but nodded nonetheless. She kind of forgot that Yerim could walk into her house whenever she pleased, which isn't exactly in her favor.

"Got it," she mumbled before beginning to walk once more. Yerim didn't look like it, but she could be kind of scary if she tried. 

The rest of the walk was silent, except for Yerim attempting not to laugh at Hyunjin’s facial expression while she completely walked through a few people.

Hyunjin sighed and opened the door to the café, Yerim gulping as she noticed Jiwoo sitting at the table behind her usual. She looked the same, despite that her normal cheery facial expression was replaced with a solemn one.

"Jiwoo?" Yerim scoffed as Hyunjin called out her friend's name. 

She even had the audacity to look sad. How fake can you get? Yerim's attitude didn't brighten as Jiwoo walked up and hugged the older girl.

"Careful," Yerim sneered. "Might smear some of the blood that's on your hands on her shirt."

Hyunjin narrowed her eyes as she rubbed Yerim's back, Yerim pulling back and sniffling.

"Thanks for coming." Jiwoo smiled softly.

"No problem," Hyunjin answered, rubbing Jiwoo's arm. "How are you feeling?" 

The older shrugged and walked to the table she was originally sitting at, Yerim standing behind Hyunjin and flicking at the back of her head. The human girl’s eyes twitched in annoyance, she was happy Jiwoo didn't see.

"I'm not that great to be honest." Jiwoo shrugged. "But I'm trying to motivate myself to do more things besides sulking. Yerim wouldn't like to see me like this." 

Yerim's face dropped, Hyunjin’s eyes following the spirit as she walked over to Jiwoo and knelt down so that she was more at the level she was at when she was sitting. Hyunjin frowned as she watched Yerim reach out for the older girl's hand, her expression saddening when it passed right through. 

"Good." Hyunjin smiled. "I didn't know Yerim well, but I bet she was amazing." She didn't miss the icy glare that the spirit sent her way.

"Vivi told me you brought a drink to Yerim's table a few days ago. That's really sweet, Hyun." Jiwoo smiled, Hyunjin remembering that only she could see Yerim.

"I just thought that since I didn't get to know her before she passed, it was the least I could do," she lied, Yerim standing up and shaking her head.

"I can't do this," Yerim said softly, turning and leaving the shop without another glance to Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin frowned, looking down and stirring her drink. 

She wasn't starting to feel bad for the girl, was she? 

No. Why would she?

-

"Can spirits kill themselves?" 

Haseul's blood ran cold at the question Yerim asked her as they sat in the main living room of the mansion together. Yerim had returned a few hours ago, in tears and mumbling about someone named ‘Hyunjin’ along with basically every curse word in the book.

"Yerim-"

"Or like, end their time as a spirit before their killer is arrested or something. I'm not thinking about doing it. I just... want to know." Yerim sighed, tracing ships into the carpet. "Has there ever been anyone who has? Is it possible?"

"Y-Yes, it's possible," Haseul answered, watching Yerim intently. "But spirits say that where you go if you kill your spirit self is worse than being a spirit itself. Because you didn't accomplish the one goal that spirits have, it's said that you just become conscious. Kind of like being in a coma for the rest of time."

Haseul watched Yerim's expression grow into a more fearful one. "Scary. I know." She shifted around where she sat. "O-One of my friends did."

"I'm so sorry," Yerim mumbled, moving closer to the older spirit and resting her hand on her knee.

"It's fine." Haseul sighed. "It was fifteen years ago. She was killed due to a deliberate fire and couldn't take the pain after she realized that her brother took his life due to loneliness. She blamed her brother's death on herself and... I assume you can figure out what happened next."

Yerim nodded and leaned forward to give Haseul a light hug, the older spirit tensing slightly before wrapping her arms around Yerim. "She was actually the first to figure out how to do it," the blonde stated once she pulled away. "I guess you deserve to know, don't you? It's kind of common spirit knowledge now." 

Haseul sighed and sat up. "If you find the exact weapon your murderer used to kill you and injure yourself in the exact way that ended your previous life, your spirit will cease to exist."

Yerim's eyes widened and she gulped, thinking about that knife that lay in Hyunjin’s kitchen drawer. 

"O-Oh..." 

Haseul nodded. 

"But because many spirits have a hard time finding their killer, not many could end their second life even if they wanted to. There's only been three." She sighed before standing up and glancing at the living family who was currently watching TV. "I'm going to have a nap if that's alright with you?"

"Yeah, it's fine." 

Haseul nodded and ascended up the stairs, Yerim sighing and standing up.

"Yerim, I saw you were upset when you came in today. Are you doing alright?" Yerim turned around and smiled once she saw Yeojin, nodding softly.

"I'm alright now." Yerim smiled. "Hyunjin, my killer, was being a deceiving bitch and I couldn't deal with her anymore." 

Yeojin nodded and wrapped her arm around Yerim's shoulders.

"Deceiving bitch, huh? A lot of killers are. What did she do?" The younger asked, Yerim sighing and leaning into her touch lightly.

"She’s friends with someone who I used to know. She met up with her today and had the nerve to act as if she missed me and saying that "Yerim will be missed" and all that bullshit. She also threatened to hurt my friend, to which I told her that I'd strangle her in her sleep if she did," Yerim rambled, Yeojin laughing softly at the last thing the older said.

"Good job. But remember, you can do whatever you want and no one else would be able to see you. Kick her in the shin for me, will you?" Yerim laughed and nodded.

"Will do."

-

"Oh, you're back."

"And you're a lying piece of shit."

Hyunjin sighed as Yerim walked back into her house, sitting down on the couch next to the younger girl. 

"You're still mad about me and Jiwoo?" She asked, Yerim humming in response.

"All I'm saying is that when she finds out, which she will because I don't plan on staying a spirit forever, you'll regret it," Yerim mumbled, absentmindedly watching whatever was playing on the screen.

"I'm really the one who gets to decide how long you'll be a spirit, aren't I?" Hyunjin smirked before standing up. "I'm going to have a shower."

"I hope you slip and die." The spirit nodded, not sparing a glance at the other.

"Thanks. I appreciate it." Hyunjin chuckled before walking upstairs. Yerim heard the shower turn on moments later and sighed before standing up, walking upstairs as well. 

She'd been having a thought for a while, but dismissed it due to various reasons. She could only touch things that belong to Hyunjin, right? And her outfit was getting pretty old, so…

Yerim quickly looked behind her back as she opened Hyunjin’s closet, rummaging through various articles of clothing. Her heart basically stopped, however, when she spotted one hoodie amongst the rest. The spirit's eyes widened as she took the sweater out of the closet, noticing the familiar pattern well. 

It was Jiwoo’s favorite.

Jiwoo used to wear it 24/7, that is until she abruptly stopped, explaining that she had given it to a friend. 

That friend was Hyunjin? 

Yerim didn't hesitate to slip it over the t-shirt she was wearing, wrapping her arms around herself as she felt tears build up in her eyes. 

She missed her old life so much. She pulled the hood over her head, sighing softly. "Yerim? What are you doing?"

Yerim turned around, eyes widening as she noticed Hyunjin in the doorway with nothing, but a towel around her body. She cleared her throat, looking elsewhere. 

"This was Jiwoo's," she mumbled, looking down at the fabric and rocking back and forth on her heels.

"I know." Hyunjin smiled, walking over to her closet. "You can keep it or whatever, I don't really wear it." 

Yerim was kind of shocked by Hyunjin’s sudden kind attitude, but nodded nonetheless.

"Thank you." She smiled, Hyunjin humming in response and pulling a few articles of clothes out of her closet, laying them down on the bed.

"No problem," she answered. "Now, you might want to leave or whatever because I have to get changed." 

Yerim nodded quickly, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. She played with the drawstrings on the sweater as she waited, Hyunjin emerging a few moments later. 

Her attire was completely black, from her shoes to the sweater she wore, along with the mask that covered half of her face. Hyunjin promptly pulled the hood of her sweater up, also pulling her mask down so that she could talk properly. "I'm going out."

"I can tell." Yerim raised an eyebrow. "Where to, dressed like that?"

"To have some fun." Hyunjin grinned, pulling a pair of gloves out of her pocket and putting them on. "Ask your little spirit buddies if they see anyone new show up, alright?" Yerim's eyes widened.

Once a killer, always a killer.

"Don't you dare."

Hyunjin smirked and walked past Yerim, aware that the spirit was following her.

"What? You think just because you showed up I'm going to stop?" Hyunjin asked, turning around and leaning against the wall. "Sorry Yerim, but I really don't plan on it." 

It was really a flash as Yerim basically jumped on Hyunjin and pinned her against the wall, gripping on her wrists harshly as she stared her down. Hyunjin’s breath caught in her throat, wiggling her wrists slightly in an attempt to free them. 

‘Yerim was a lot stronger than she looks,’ she thought.

"You are not taking anyone's life tonight, do you hear me?" Yerim hissed, Hyunjin gulping and staring into the spirit's eyes. She had only seen her this angry once before, which was the time she discovered the knife she was killed with in the kitchen drawer.

"Y-Yerim-"

"I don't know if you realize how fucking miserable I am, but I'll try and explain it to you," the spirit sneered, "I can't speak or communicate with anyone except for you. Not my family, not Jiwoo, not anyone. I can see them, but they'll never notice me again! It's hell, Hyunjin! Are you seriously thinking of killing someone else after you know exactly what happens to them afterwards?" 

Hyunjin shrugged. 

"It's hardly even been two weeks since you killed me!" Yerim exclaimed, Hyunjin biting her lips as she felt Yerim's fingernails dig into the flesh at her wrists.

"Yerim, l-let go, please." Hyunjin would normally try to act as the tougher of the two, but the position they were currently in was reminding her of something she’d rather keep locked away.

"Why should I?" 

Hyunjin felt her throat constrict and she squeezed her eyes shut.

"M-Mommy, let go!"

"Why should I, Hyunjin?"

Yerim's eyebrows shot up, loosening her grip slightly. 

Her grip tightened around her daughter’s throat, the girl coughing as she was pressed against the wall of her bedroom. "You never listen. I'm just teaching you a lesson."

"Hyunjin?" Yerim had noticed the quick change in the older’s attitude, letting go of her wrists as she felt Hyunjin begin to shake.

"Stop!"

White dots blurred Hyunjin’s vision, her mother's estranged face becoming blurry due to her tears. 

Hyunjin slid down the wall, bringing her knees up to her chest as she breathed in shaky breaths, memories playing in her mind like a video tape.

"You're lucky I haven't killed you yet."

Yerim leaned down next to Hyunjin, unsure what to say as she watched her shake. "Hyunjin?" She kept her voice soft, Hyunjin’s eyes still squeezed shut.

"N-No!" Hyunjin exclaimed, making the spirit jump. "I-I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!"

Yerim's eyes couldn't help, but feel guilty, lightly placing her hand on Hyunjin’s knee. The older’s eyes flew open, looking terrified as she stared at the spirit in front of her. 

"Are you alright?" Yerim's voice was soft, Hyunjin looking down and taking a shaky breath. It had been awhile since she had a breakdown that bad. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Hyunjin looked down at her wrists, a few crescent shaped indents were the only injuries she could see there, besides past ones at least. 

"You didn't," she mumbled, sitting cross-legged and watching as Yerim mirrored her actions. "I-I..."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I'm begging you Hyunjin. Don't go out tonight, don't take any lives." Hyunjin’s eyes watered as she listened to Yerim's words and she cursed softly as she wiped the tears away.

"You're changing me and I don't like it."

"That means I'm doing my job right then."

-

The night was quiet after that. 

Hyunjin didn't end up going out, swapping her all-black attire for a pair of shorts and a white t-shirt. Yerim still wore Jiwoo's old sweater. They both spent the night, sitting on the couch next to Hyunjin as they both watched reruns of old dramas.

"I really am sorry about earlier," Yerim mumbled, drawing circles on the fabric of the couch.

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. 

"I thought you hated me. I don't get why you're so hung up over this," she stated, Yerim shrugging.

"I just... I know I act like I'm this big, bad spirit who could kill you if they wanted but... my conscience is too strong to let me hurt anyone." She sighed. "You look so scared and you..."

"I what?" She asked, turning her attention to the spirit.

"You reminded me of how I felt the night you killed me." Hyunjin gulped. "I felt like a monster."

The older looked down and exhaled, tapping her fingers along the arm of the couch. You felt like a monster?  She thought.

Yerim never used to be a huge problem for Hyunjin, a nuisance at worst. But now she was tapping into emotions that she had kept under a lock and key for the longest time.

And she didn't know how to feel about it. 

"Yerim, let me tell you a story," Hyunjin sighed and mentally prepared herself for the tale she was about to tell. Yerim nodded and turned as well. 

"When I was younger, it was just my dad, me, and my mom in the house. My brother died a few months after I was born so I hardly ever got to meet him." Hyunjin took a deep breath, continuing on with the story. "My parents never stopped grieving. Eventually, it became so bad that my dad walked out on us, starting a new life to forget his old one. That just leaves me and my mom then." Yerim nodded softly. "She became different after my dad left. If I forgot to put my dish away; a punch to the face. Woke up late? No food for a week. The reason I kind of broke down back there was..." Hyunjin looked down. "You reminded me of my mom." 

Yerim paled, the guilt she once felt even worse than before. 

"When I turned sixteen, she tried to kill me," Hyunjin continued, wiping at her watery eyes. "I was watching TV when she came at me with a knife from the kitchen." She pulled her shirt collar down, a wide scar that Yerim hadn't noticed before standing out starkly against the girl’s pale skin. "I didn't mean to, Yerim. But I didn't want to die!" Hyunjin gave up on wiping away the tears that ran down her face. "I turned the blade and stabbed her, Yerim. I killed her. I killed my own mother." 

Yerim gulped, scooting closer and resting her hand on top of Hyunjin’s arm. 

"I don't really remember the six years after that. My memory seems to black out. All I know is that I killed someone on my last day of being eighteen and now I-I can't help it." She stared down at her hands, Yerim rubbing calming circles into the fabric of her shirt sleeve. "It doesn't justify me being a killer, I know. I just thought you deserved an explanation."

Yerim bit her lip softly before leaning in slowly and wrapping her arms around Hyunjin, tucking her head into the crook of the older’s neck. Hyunjin’s eyes widened and she tensed up, wrapping her arms around Yerim as well, resting her head atop the spirit's. 

And really, she wanted to push Yerim away, but she hadn't told anyone that ever and Yerim provided the comfort she needed... She just couldn't help it.

If you told Yerim that she'd be hugging the person who murdered her on their couch at twelve am, she'd tell you that you were crazy.

If you told Hyunjin that she would quite like the spirit's embrace, she’d tell you that you were lying.

-

"Do you feel no guilt, Hyunjin?" 

The semi-platonic relationship Yerim and Hyunjin had formed on that couch quickly fizzled out as the spirit learned her reasoning for wearing a black dress.

"Yerim, I have to go," Hyunjin sighed, looking over her appearance in the mirror. "I don't have a choice."

"Well maybe I don't want you there!" Yerim crossed her arms, sending a harsh glare in Hyunjin’s direction. 

Today was Yerim's funeral. 

The spirit was trying to wrap her head around the fact that Hyunjin was even thinking about going to the funeral of somebody she killed . Yerim knew for sure that she didn't want her there. 

Her family was going to be there and she didn't need Hyunjin saying things to them like, "I'm sorry for your loss" when she was the reason for their loss in the first place.

"Yerim, if I don't go, it'll look bad on my part," the older huffed, adjusting her dress once more before walking out of her room.

"I don't give a shit," Yerim retorted, following behind Hyunjin. Despite resenting the girl, she was currently wearing one of her shirts and a pair of her jeans. "You're not going."

"Sorry." Hyunjin shrugged. "Jiwoo’s expecting me there."

“Jiwoo’s expecting me there," Yerim mimicked, narrowing her eyes at Hyunjin as she grabbed her keys and walked out the front door. Yerim followed behind her, walking through the closed door and crossing her arms. "When you see me lying there in the casket, all the guilt is going to slap you in the face."

"I get to see you everyday." Hyunjin rolled her eyes, "I think I'll be fine."

"You see what I looked like before I died." Both stepped into Hyunjin’s car and buckled their seatbelts. "When you see my pale, lifeless body, it's gonna hurt knowing that you were the cause." 

Hyunjin looked over to where Yerim sat in the passenger seat, observing her skin, slightly rosy cheeks, healthy looking hair... She looked so alive, Hyunjin was nearly worried when she noticed that Yerim wasn't breathing.

‘She's dead,’ she reminded herself. ‘ She doesn't need to.’  

"I'll be fine," Hyunjin repeated, beginning to drive off to wherever the funeral was being held. "But will you be?"

Yerim gulped. 

"I'll be fine." 

Three words that had been spoken many times in that car, but neither of the two knew fully if they were being truthful while they said them.

-

Hyunjin couldn't say she was prepared when Yerim burst into tears after seeing just her closed casket with flowers around it. 

"Yerim..." The older whispered, not wanting any of the other people attending to hear her. 

Tears rolled down Yerim's cheeks as she scanned across the crowd of people dressed in only shades of black and grey, glossy eyes and less than perfect mascara adorning many. Yerim had been to a funeral once before, but attending her own was a whole different story. 

She didn't even question herself when she wrapped her arms around Hyunjin, sobbing into her shoulder. 

This is wrong. She thought. She’s the reason this is all happening in the first place. Why are you hugging her?

She shook away the thoughts because she just needed someone to hold her, and Hyunjin was the only one who could. "I can't hug you back because of the amount of people here, but just know that I want to."

Hyunjin’s words only made Yerim cry harder, gripping the fabric at the back of the older’s blazer and burying her face into the crook of her neck. 

"I don't care if they look at you weird," Yerim croaked, voice strained. "Hold me."

Hyunjin sighed softly and discreetly shuffled to the back of the group of people, where most wouldn't even glance at her. The ceremony hadn't started yet, Jiwoo getting ready to speak about her late friend. 

She wrapped her arms around the spirit, rubbing circles on her back as she swayed from side to side gently. "I'm sorry for this," Yerim sniffled, lifting her head and looking up at Hyunjin, not moving her arms from where they were wrapped around the older's torso.

“You deserve to cry, Yerim. You shouldn't be saying sorry," Hyunjin spoke softly, Yerim smiling sadly as she lifted her hand to pet her hair lightly. 

I should be. 

Hyunjin didn't say aloud the thought that was most present in her brain, although she knew Yerim would appreciate it if she did. "Are you alright now?" 

Yerim nodded, wiping her eyes and following Hyunjin back to where they were originally standing.

“Yerim was, and still is, one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.” Yerim’s lip quivered as Jiwoo stepped up to the microphone to speak. The spirit shuffled closer to Hyunjin until their shoulders were touching. “She was kind, she was selfless, and she was as determined as a human could possibly be.”

“Yerim, there’s a café here I saw that you can wait at if it’s too much for you.” Yerim shook her head at Hyunjin’s hushed words.

“I want to stay,” she answered, voice fairly shaky.

“I know that if she was here, she wouldn’t want me to cry, but I can’t help it, you know?” Yerim’s chest constricted as she saw the tears in Jiwoo’s eyes. “Someone like Yerim is someone who you’ll meet only once in your entire life. She was so full of creativity and imagination that even I had a hard time keeping up sometimes. I definitely didn’t know Yerim as long as I wish I had, but the year that I did, was the best of my life.”

Hyunjin looked down at Yerim, frowning as she saw the spirit not even attempt to wipe off the tears that were flowing down her face.

“There was something Yerim always said to me,” Jiwoo continued, “I’m one to get frustrated easily so when I did, Yerim would put her hand on my shoulder and would say, “Jiwoo, just think of all the events in your life as a piece in a puzzle.  There are times when you’re frustrated because you can’t see the final picture, there are pieces that you may think you don’t need, but just wait. It’ll all come together.” She had so much knowledge at such a young age and I hope she knows, wherever she is, that she’s not someone who can be forgotten easily.”

Yerim wiped her eyes, Hyunjin not caring that she was getting tears on the shirt she borrowed. 

The rest of the ceremony dragged on, Yerim straight up having to leave and go on a brief walk when her brother began speaking about her because it was all too much. Yerim had only witnessed her brother cry twice before this day, once when he was six and fell off his bike and when his girlfriend broke up with him when he was seventeen. 

It hurt her too much to see the tears falling from her brother’s saddened eyes.

Hyunjin didn’t follow after the spirit, instead walking slowly up to the now opened casket after Yerim’s brother had finished what he needed to say. His heart dropped as he gazed upon Yerim’s unmoving figure, her skin pale and lacking the color he was used to. 

Hyunjin gulped as she thought about the fact that a stab wound she was responsible for lay underneath the fabric.

“Are you sorry yet?” Hyunjin jumped slightly as Yerim’s voice sounded next to her, looking over to the spirit next to her. 

Yerim’s eyes were glossy and red, dried tears still visible on her cheeks. But she still looked better than she did lying in that casket.

“I am.”

-

“If she’s so sorry, why doesn’t she turn herself in?”

Yerim shrugged and traced circles on the roof she and Haseul sat on as she stared at the sky above them. The sky was blue, the clouds having cleared a few hours after her funeral ended. The tension in the house between her and Hyunjin was too much and so Yerim fled to the only other place she knew to go to.

“I don’t know, Haseul.” Yerim sighed, looking over to the blonde spirit beside her. Haseul had noticed Yerim’s change of clothes, but didn’t mention the conclusion she had come up with herself, making her frown. “She’s been through a lot.”

Haseul furrowed her eyebrows. 

Yerim was defending her killer now? 

“More than you?” She asked, the black-haired female beside her shrugging and looking down at the people walking on the street below them.

“Maybe. Depends on how you look at it,” Yerim answered. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I completely don’t hate the girl anymore. She still killed me and I won’t forget that. It’s just…” Yerim closes her eyes, thinking back to earlier that day. Earlier to when Hyunjin soothed Yerim by running her hands through her hair and rubbing her back.

“I’ll be fine, but will you be?”

“I can’t hug you because there’s so many people here, but just know that I want to.”

“Are you sorry yet?”

“I am.”

Yerim’s mind swirled various things that the older had said, memories of her hugs and calming touch. 

Calming touch from the same person that ended her life. “She’s more tolerable now.”

Haseul couldn’t help, but frown as she thought about Yerim forming a bond with the killer. It just didn’t seem right. 

“Tolerable?” She asked, noticing the loose fit that Yerim’s new attire had. She could only touch things that belonged to Hyunjin, so she knew where she got them from.

Yerim nodded. 

“She’s not horrible.”

-

“Yerim?” 

Hyunjin poked her head out of her bedroom once she heard the familiar light footsteps return in her house a few hours after the spirit left earlier.

“Hey Hyunjin.” Yerim smiled softly as she saw Hyunjin walk over to her in sweatpants and a white shirt, almost identical to the one she herself was wearing. “I just needed to go clear my head.”

“It’s alright.” Hyunjin nodded, resting her hand on Yerim’s shoulder. “Could you come sit down with me? I want to talk to you about something.”

Yerim nodded, scanning over Hyunjin’s expression. She looked almost sad and somewhat regretful.

They both walked over to the living room, sitting across from each other on the couch and facing each other. It reminded her of the night Hyunjin broke down which was also the night she started to hate her just a little bit less.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin finally spoke after a few minutes, the silence broken by two words that made Yerim’s heart stop. “It must sound like bullshit, I know, but I truly mean it, Yerim. I know it would be insane to ask for your forgiveness, but I’d like you to know that I regret what I did to you.”

Yerim’s eyes widened, her brain not sure if she was hearing correctly as Hyunjin paused to take a breath.

“It used to be a game to me, Yerim,” she continued, “Take a life, get rid of the evidence, repeat. I never once thought how much this could be affecting so many people and I’m such a monster.” Hyunjin took another shaky breath. “If my mom tried and failed to kill someone, maybe if I tried and succeeded, she’d finally think I was good for something. Maybe she’s watching me from wherever she is and finally be proud of her daughter.” That’s what I told myself to reassure myself when I had doubts. As if that justified my actions. As if that takes back all I’ve done, all the pain I’ve caused. As if it washes the blood off of my stained hands, but it doesn’t and it never will.”

Yerim didn’t even notice she was crying until she noticed a drip onto the jeans she was wearing.

“I thought I'd live my life as a killer on the loose, you know? No one would ever find me out and it would be so thrilling. Nothing could stand in my way. But then you showed up. You allowed me to get to know the person who I killed and although I thought at first that I’d never let you get to me and soften me, the night you hugged me on this couch, I knew I was done for. I knew I was done for when you looked so happy wearing Jiwoo’s sweater and I knew I’d never be the same when you asked me to hold you today.” Hyunjin’s words were shaky as she wiped at her teary eyes before looking at Yerim.

“I know in order to tell you I’m truly sorry, I’d turn myself in, right? But I’m scared, Yerim. Because you’re not the only life I’ve taken and I’ll probably be locked up forever because of it. I know I deserve it, but… I’m sorry.” Yerim moved closer to Hyunjin, tilting her head up from where it was looking down at the couch.

“You’re something else, Kim Hyunjin.” Yerim smiled, a few tears dripping off of her chin. “I’m a sucker for heartfelt apologies and I’ve never heard you sound so sincere. I won’t force you to turn yourself in just yet, but do know I expect you to eventually, okay?” Hyunjin nodded. “There’s another spirit I know who thinks I’m completely insane to not hate your guts, but you don’t seem like a killer, Hyunjin. Sometimes I forget I’m dead when I’m around you, sometimes I forget the reason we were brought together in the first place.”

You’re not seriously forgiving her, are you?

“Sometimes I forget you’re dead too, but then I come across the knife in the kitchen and I feel so bad, Yerim.” Hyunjin’s words were soft, staring into the spirit’s eyes.

“I’d be worried if you didn’t.” Yerim’s smile allowed her dimples to be seen, Hyunjin not being able to stop the smile tugging at her own lips because of it.

I guess you are.

Hyunjin leaned forward and rested her head on Yerim’s shoulder, the spirit’s arms wrapping around her. Hyunjin’s hand softly ran through Yerim’s soft hair and the both of them sighed. “If only we met in better circumstances, I’d really like you, Hyunjin.”

“I really like you anyway.”

-

“I’d like you to meet Yerim, she’s one of our newest spirits and can probably help you out loads.”

Yerim turned around from where she was about to leave the mansion, eyes landing upon a new spirit who stood beside Jungeun and Haseul. Her hair was long, brown strands tied up into a ponytail with a few pieces that fell out and framed her face.

She looked really youthful, much like many of the spirits here. It pained Yerim to know that so many young people were losing their lives too soon. “Yerim, this is Hyeju.”

Smiling softly, Yerim stepped forward and waved slightly at the new spirit. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” Hyeju’s expression melted at Yerim’s friendly smile and she stepped forward. “I was about to go out actually, but I suppose it won’t hurt to show you around before I do.”

She had told Hyunjin that she’d be back in a few hours when she left their house at six PM and now it was around nine-thirty.

Yeojin nodded, waving at Hyeju and leaving the newest spirit alone with Yerim. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but when did you die?”

Hyeju frowned slightly, following Yerim up the staircase. 

“About an hour and a half ago,” she answered. “I’m still semi-convinced that this is all a dream. What about you? When did you die?”

“A few months ago,” Yerim replied, her and Hyeju walking through various walls so that she could see the rooms behind them. “It took a bit of adjustment, but I’m pretty okay now.”

“How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” Yerim smiled, Hyeju nodding in response and pushing away a few pieces of hair that fell out of her ponytail. “And you?”

“Eighteen. Since we’re the same age, can I speak more casually with you?” She asked, Yerim nodding quickly as they descended back down the staircase.

“Go for it.” Yerim worried her lip for a few moments before turning to the other spirit. “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer because I really didn’t want to when I first became a spirit, but… how exactly did you… you know…”

Hyeju sighed, staring down at the carpeted floor beneath her as they walked through the living room. 

“I was walking home from school; I have evening classes, when out of the blue, I hear a gunshot, and it becomes harder and harder to breathe.” She patted where her heart was, frowning as she did so. “Right in the heart, it didn't take long for me to bleed out.”

Yerim noticed the younger’s eyes start to water and immediately pulled her in for a hug, rubbing circles on her back as they both swayed softly where they stood. “I wasn’t ready to die, Yerim.” Her voice cracked with emotion, Yerim nodding and sighing.

“I know. None of us were, Hyeju.” Her words were soft, trying to keep her voice as calming as possible. “I’m not going to lie and tell you that being a spirit is fun because it can be really horrible at times. You just need to persevere, got that?”

Hyeju pulled away from the raven-haired spirit, wiping her eyes and nodding. 

“G-Got it.” Yerim remembered clearly when she felt the same way Hyeju did and although it may sound strange, Yerim would probably still feel that way if it wasn’t for Hyunjin.

Yerim always had a bit of a moral dilemma when it came to Hyunjin.

Yes , she was kind, and yes , she was funny, and she most definitely helped Yerim forget about her situation sometimes… 

But she was also the one who killed Yerim and various other people. 

But it was because of her mother, she’s probably not completely mentally stable.

She still killed people though.

“Yerim? Are you alright?” Yerim hadn’t noticed that she had been staring into space until Hyeju spoke up and pointed it out. She huffed, attempting to clear her mind as she nodded at the other spirit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know, I just feel kind of out of it today, you know?” She asked, Hyeju nodding and patting her back.

“I get it,” she responded. “You can go out wherever you were going to before I showed up now. Thank you for showing me around.”

“No problem,” Yerim smiled before walking out of the living room and straight through the front door. She wondered what Hyunjin was up to. Was she in a good mood? One of the moods where they watched movies together on the couch?

Or was she in a not so good mood? One of those ones that caused Yerim to need to calm the older down and wipe tears off her face.

Yerim prepared herself for both as she saw the familiar house come into view, running a hand through her hair as she walked up the porch steps and through the front door.

“Hyunjin?” She called, slightly worried when she didn’t get an answer in response. 

Hyunjin would always answer, even if it was a faint yell from the shower. Silence wasn’t something Yerim was used to in this household, so it made her feel uneasy to be surrounded by it. “Hyunjin?” Still nothing.

And then she heard it.

They were soft, barely audible, but she heard them nonetheless.

Sobs.

Yerim’s body ran cold as she came to the only logical possibility that it was Hyunjin who was crying and bolted up the stairs to the location of which the cries came from. Biting her lip, she slowly pushed open Hyunjin’s bedroom door, frowning once she noticed Hyunjin sitting on the floor with her back facing the door. Yerim stayed put before moving forward. “Hyunjin.”

Yerim watched as Hyunjin visibly tensed up at her voice, not moving nonetheless. Sighing, the spirit walked into the room and stood in front of Hyunjin before sitting down across from the older girl.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw when she did. 

Tears were streaming down Hyunjin’s face, her eyes red, but that wasn’t the thing that had Yerim feeling numb all over.

What caused that was the blood smeared on Hyunjin’s hands and parts of her shirt.

“Yerim… I’m so sorry.”

Hyunjin’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence before she broke down into sobs again, looking up at Yerim with the most sorrowful expression the spirit had ever experienced. “I didn’t want to kill her, Yerim! I don’t want to do this anymore, but I couldn’t help it!” Hyunjin was shaking heavily, eyes widened and she spoke erratically. “She was innocent! She didn’t look older than you and now she’s dead because of me… I’m a monster, Yerim. I’m the lowest of the low.” Hyunjin’s stained fingers scratched at her forearms as her breathing became heavier with each word she spoke. “I should die too, shouldn’t I? The world would be safer, everyone would be happy…”

“Hyunjin-”

“I could kill myself right now, you know? The gun I used today is under my bed right now. It would be so easy, Yerim. Everyone would be happy-”

“Hyunjin!” The older’s head snapped up from where it was looking under her bed, eyes wide. “Stop talking like that right now! How is killing yourself going to solve anything? Explain that to me!”

“Because then I won’t be around to hurt anymore people!” Hyunjin’s voice was raw, tears streaming down her face and causing Yerim to feel a pang in her chest. “The world doesn’t need people like me! I shouldn’t even exist!”

Yerim didn’t answer and leaned forward instead, wrapping her arms around the older and rubbing her back. She felt as Hyunjin practically melted in her arms and sighed, moving her hand up to comb through the other’s dark locks.

“Everything has a reason for existing, Hyunjin.” She paused for a moment before continuing. “Murder is something that’s hard to forgive, Hyunjin,” she whispered, feeling Hyunjin’s tears dampen her shirt. “But I’ve already pretty much forgiven you for mine, haven’t I? If I ever come home and find you dead however, I’ll never forgive you.”

The older sobbed harder into Yerim’s shoulder, gripping onto the fabric of her shirt and smearing some of the blood that was on her hands onto it. 

“Why don’t you hate me?” Her voice was muffled, but the spirit was able to make out the words.

“Because I know that you don’t want to do what you do.” 

Yerim had concluded long ago that Hyunjin wasn’t exactly mentally stable, but was afraid of what the older’s reaction may be if she suggested professional help.

“If my mom tried and failed to kill someone, maybe if I tried and succeeded, she’d finally think I was good for something.”

She remembered Hyunjin’s words from a while ago and tightened her grip on the older. It was all her mom’s fault she was like this. If she hadn’t had beaten her, if she had loved her, Hyunjin wouldn’t have had to live the harsh lifestyle she did.

A lifestyle of lies.

A lifestyle of regret.

“You’re such a good person, Yerim,” Hyunjin sighed, “You’re so forgiving and I don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have taken such an amazing person from the world, it should have been me instead.”

“I thought I told you to stop talking like that,” Yerim spoke, worried that Hyunjin would really go through with her intentions. “You may have done some horrible things, Hyunjin, but please don’t give up, alright? I-I don’t know what happens to a spirit if their killer kills themself and that scares me.”

Hyunjin’s eyes snapped open as she felt Yerim continue to run her hand through her hair, heart rate increasing.

She hadn’t thought of that.

If she died, where would Yerim go?

Even if she wasn’t going to live for herself, she decided right then and there that Yerim would be her reason to.

“Hyunjin, I want you to tell me exactly what happened today,” Yerim spoke, Hyunjin’s breath hitching in her throat.

“I-I went out with the intention to k-kill someone. It wasn’t a spur of the moment kind of thing.” Yerim gulped at the older’s words. “I didn’t want to and I hated the feeling of the gun’s cold metal against my hand as I left the house, but… There was a nagging voice in my head telling me that I needed to. I needed to make mom proud. ”

The spirit listened closely as Hyunjin pulled away and seemed to try and gather her thoughts.

“She was walking down an alleyway like you were, Yerim. She looked like such a nice person, pretty hair tied up in a ponytail… but then I shot her. Right in the heart too.” Hyunjin’s voice began to grow shakier, the younger raven-haired spirit across from her furrowing her eyebrows and reaching forward to hold her hand. “I snapped out of it right after I pulled the trigger and I ran to her, pressing my shirt to her wound in hopes to stop the bleeding, but the gunshot alerted people and I had to run.”

The spirit’s eyes widened at the words Hyunjin spoke, gulping as the similarities struck her.

It couldn’t be Hyeju, could it?

The similarities were too striking for Yerim to say that wasn’t true and her blood ran cold. 

She couldn’t tell Hyunjin that she met the spirit of the person she just killed, the girl’s psyche seemed extremely fragile and Yerim didn’t know what would happen if she told her.

“You tried to stop the bleeding?” Yerim asked, fairly surprised that Hyunjin felt any emotion after killing someone, let alone the need to save them. The older girl nodded, wiping her eyes once more.

“Yerim, I know it’s hard to believe, but I regretted what I did the moment my finger left the trigger. I thought that maybe I’d feel better if I tried to save her.” Her words were shaky, watching as Yerim reached over to hold her blood-covered hands. “But I don’t feel better! I used to try and hide what I felt with an arrogant attitude and acting like I didn’t care about my actions. I care, Yerim, I care!”

“I know you do, Hyunjin.” Yerim stood up, pulling the older girl up with her. “Go get cleaned up and then we’ll relax, okay? You need to rest.” Hyunjin leaned into the touch as Yerim stroked the side of her face gently.

“Okay.”

-

The raven-haired spirit sat on Hyunjin’s bed, cuddled up into one of the older’s sweaters as she stared out the window at the setting sun. 

The shower had shut off a few moments ago, Yerim currently waiting for Hyunjin to walk into the room. The door soon opened, the black-haired girl walking out of the room wearing only a pair of a bra and sweatpants.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around her torso shyly. “I-I usually don’t sleep with a shirt on and you usually don’t come up with me at night, so…”

Yerim chuckled, standing up and walking over to the older. She wiped a few still wet pieces of hair off of her forehead before grabbing her wrist gently. 

“It’s fine, Hyunjin,” she chuckled, tugging her over to the bed before lying down.

“Why are you so amazing?” Hyunjin mumbled once Yerim turned onto her other side so that they were both facing each other. “Compared to you, I am so-”

“Hey,” Yerim interrupted, scooting forward and flicking Hyunjin’s forehead playfully. “I thought I told you to stop talking like that, hm?” The older ended slightly once she felt the spirit’s arms wrap around her, her fluffy hair tickling her bare chest.

“I can't help it. Don’t try telling me that I’m a good person because I’ll know that you’re lying,” she mumbled, allowing her arm to rest on Yerim’s waist.

“Sometimes good people do really bad things.”

-

“She what?!”

“Haseul, lower your voice, please. I don’t need everyone hearing us.” 

Yerim shushed Haseul as the two stood in the kitchen of the mansion, Haseul looking near furious as the younger spirit tried to rationalize the situation.

“Why should I need to quiet down, huh? If anything, Hyeju deserves to know!” The older explained, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.

“You don’t understand!” Yerim fired back.

“Of course I don’t! How could I possibly understand your reasoning for defending this girl?!” Haseul exclaimed, Yerim stepping back a bit. “She’s a murderer , Yerim! She killed you! How the fuck can you actually like her?!”

“Because!” The younger spirit yelled, not caring about alerting other spirits at this point. “She’s not this horrible person you think she is! You’re judging a book by its cover and it’s not fair!”

“Well, of course I’m judging her!” Haseul scoffed, “What do you expect? Who knows how many people she’s killed? I bet you anything you and Hyeju aren’t the only ones she’s killed that are in this house right now!”

“Shut up!” Yerim knew that Haseul wouldn’t take it well when she told her that Hyunjin had killed Hyeju, but she didn’t expect it to turn into a full blown argument.

“What? Can’t handle the truth?”

“You over everyone here should understand how hard it is to be a spirit! She helps me forget that I am one! Helps me forget all of the shit I’ve had to go through and she makes me happy! I just want to be happy, Haseul!” She stayed quiet and let Yerim’s words sink in and noticed the tears in the younger spirit’s eyes.

“She’s the one who got you into this in the first place, Yerim-”

“It’s not her fault!” Haseul was surprised once Yerim cut her off, noticing that she was shaking and stepped back a bit. “She doesn’t want to do what she does! She’s not a monster!” 

Haseul sighed and placed a hand on Yerim’s shoulder, frowning when the younger shrugged her hand off. “Don’t.”

“Yerim, try and understand my position in this. I’ve been a spirit for twelve years and would do anything to get my killer locked up. You can only imagine that it seems insane to me to be basically falling in love with yours,” Haseul spoke, her words softer than before, smiling softly as Yerim let her play with her fingers.

The raven-haired spirit looked down.

“Who said I was falling in love with Hyunjin? I’m not,” she defended, Haseul shrugging.

“No one did. I’m just making an educated guess.”

-

“Yerim? Are you crying?” 

Hyunjin frowned as she saw Yerim appear through the front wall of her house, tears streaming down her face.

“I fucking hate this, Hyunjin,” she exclaimed, catching the older girl off-guard as she furiously wiped tears from her face. Hyunjin snapped out of her shock and walked over to the spirit slowly.

“What do you-”

“I fucking hate that I like you! And I hate that I’m dead and I hate that I can’t talk to anyone anymore except for you and spirits who judge my every move! They don’t get it, you know? It’s a crime to like you according to them. I’m insane apparently.” Yerim let out a humorless laugh as she rubbed her face. “What do they want me to do? I can’t just stop liking someone out of the blue! And I think it’s a bit sad on their part when the person who killed me is doing a better job supporting me!”

She knew that she was ranting about Haseul specifically, but kept it generalized as she didn’t want to single the spirit out. “So what, you were with me when I first became a spirit?! That doesn’t mean you can decide my actions for me and fucking condemn me for them when they aren’t up to your standard!”

“Yerim, you’re shaking.” Yerim immediately noticed herself start to calm down as she felt Hyunjin’s hand on her shoulder. She turned around, aware of the tears that were still streaming down her face and broke down even more once she noticed Hyunjin’s saddened expression.

“It’s just so much, Hyunjin,” she sobbed. “I try to forget that I’m dead sometimes and I try to pretend that I’m completely happy, but it’s not working because I still can’t talk to my family and I still have a tombstone planted in the ground! I’ve pretended that I’m strong all this time, but I can’t anymore !”

“Then don’t,” Hyunjin mumbled, hesitating at first before she planted a soft kiss onto Yerim’s hair. “I-I don’t want you to have to feel like you need to hide our emotions around me.” 

She noticed the red tint to Yerim’s cheeks and looked away, twiddling her thumbs absentmindedly. Yerim nibbled at her bottom lip, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.

“You can only imagine that it seems insane to me to be basically falling in love with yours.”

The spirit recalled Haseul’s words from earlier and huffed.

She didn’t love Hyunjin. That would’ve been absolutely insane.

You don’t just fall in love with someone who killed you. It doesn’t work like that.

“Emotions are hard, Hyun,” she whispered, Hyunjin hearing her words and nodding.

“I know, trust me.” She sighed, taking Yerim’s hand in her and playing with fingers gently like how Yerim had once done to her in order to calm her down. “But wouldn’t it suck if we didn’t have them?”

The spirit shrugged, watching Hyunjin’s actions. 

“There are a few I wish I didn’t have. Sadness is shit. I wish that didn’t exist.” Hyunjin ceased playing with Yerim’s small hands in order to reach up and wipe off the fresh tears that were falling down the spirit’s face. 

She hated seeing Yerim cry. It would forever remind her of how she looked the night she died and it haunted her.

“Everything has a reason for existing,” she stated quietly, Yerim smiling as she realized that she said the exact words to the older girl a few days ago. The older girl noticed Yerim’s smile and mirrored the expression, “As said by a very remarkable person.”

-

“Let’s go out.”

“Out?”

Yerim and Hyunjin both sat on the older girl’s kitchen counter, swinging their legs. Hyunjin watched as the spirit raised an eyebrow at her. 

“There’s been a lot of stress and sadness between the both of us recently and I feel like we need a break, you know?” She explained, Yerim nodding and smiling at her words.

“I like the sound of that,” she agreed, leaning her head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Just remember that you’re the only one who can see me.”

Hyunjin nodded, hopping down from the counter and watching as Yerim followed suit. 

“Would you want to go into town or someplace else?” She asked, the spirit shrugging and yawning quietly. Hyunjin smiled softly once she noticed Jiwoo’s sweater adorning Yerim’s torso once more, although the smile was an almost sad one.

“I don’t really mind,” Yerim answered, swinging her arms by her sides as she walked towards the door. “But I suppose going into town would make us bump into more people. I don’t mind that either though. I like people watching.”

Hyunjin giggled as she grabbed her keys and opened the door, allowing Yerim to walk through first. 

“People watching?” She asked, Yerim grinning and nodding as they walked down the sidewalk. She smiled as the spirit hooked arms with her, leaning into her as they both walked.

“You know...” Yerim laughed, “Observing people in their daily life, just watching them briefly as they go about their day…” She trailed off, “Oh god, I sound kind of creepy now, don’t I?”

Hyunjin shook her head. 

“No, I find it cute.” 

She ceased her words once she noticed someone approaching them, scratching the back of her neck and pretending to walk as if she was alone. Yerim sighed, wishing she was alive for moments like these so that they could walk without worrying about anyone noticing their interactions. “It’s so nice out today.”

Yerim hummed in agreement, the soft breeze blowing through her hair as she attempted to kick a few pebbles on the sidewalk. She frowned once her foot passed right through the small rocks.

“Hyunjin, I don’t know much about you,” she said suddenly. “Tell me about yourself.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, obviously caught off guard by the question. 

“Well,” she began, “My name is Kim Hyunjin and I’m nineteen years old.”

“I know that.” Yerim laughed, “More than that. What are your interests?”

The older girl bit her bottom lip, staring up at the cloudless sky as she thought. “I used to be really into art when I was younger, but my mom thought it was useless and threw out all of my drawings. I haven’t drawn since I was about twelve.” She sighed, noticing the spirit frown at her answer. “It’s fine, I don’t think I was any good at it anyway.”

Yerim shook her head, tapping her fingers along Hyunjin’s bicep. 

“That doesn’t justify it,” she replied, voice laced with an emotion that the older couldn’t decipher. “You don’t deserve any of what your mother did to you.”

Hyunjin gulped, sniffing slightly as she felt her eyes begin to water. 

What I don’t deserve is all of the kindness you’re directing towards me. She thought, staring ahead of her.

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow once she heard the spirit curse under her breath, obviously looking ahead of them at something the older girl couldn’t see.

But Yerim was currently avoiding eye contact with the blonde spirit she saw walking down the sidewalk. Oh, but she knew that Haseul had seen her, and she saw the way the older spirit’s eyes narrowed once she noticed how Yerim and Hyunjin’s arms were intertwined. “Hyunjinie, could you give me a moment?”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow once again, but nodded nonetheless as she watched Yerim walk over and begin to talk to what looked like nothing to her.

It must be another spirit.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting you and Hyunjinie?" Haseul asked, eyes darting over to the black-haired girl who was leaning against the wall beside her.

“Haseul, please, what I do with Hyunjin doesn’t affect you. Leave me be,” Yerim sighed, crossing her arms and furrowing her eyebrows.

Haseul scoffed. 

“Yerim. If you keep this up, you’ll never want her to turn herself in and then what? Yeojin told me you already got your first reminder. They get worse and more frequent as time goes on, you need to let yourself be free, Yerim.” Yerim’s expression softened as she noticed the almost-begging tone in Haseul’s words, uncrossing her arms and sighing.

“Hyunjin said she’ll turn herself in eventually,” she mumbled, the older spirit rolling her eyes.

“‘Eventually,’” she repeated, adding air-quotes around the word. “Even if she does, will you even want to leave her?”

The raven-haired spirit gulped.

Of course she’d leave Hyunjin in order for her spirit to be set free… Right?

“If only we met in better circumstances, I’d really like you, Hyunjin.”

“I really like you anyway.”

“Why are you so amazing?”

“You’re so forgiving and I don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t have taken such an amazing person from the world.”

“Yerim?” The younger spirit inhaled sharply as she snapped out of her thoughts, various kind words Hyunjin had spoken to her flooding her thought process.

She remembered the question that still hung in the air. 

“I-I could leave her. I want to be free, Haseul,” she mumbled, not fully sure if it was the truth.

“Then why are you getting so friendly with her? Forming a relationship will only hurt you both in the end.”

-

“I used to work there.” 

Hyunjin looked at the building Yerim pointed to and nodded slowly as she recognized it as Blockberry Creative.

“You were a choreographer, weren’t you?” She asked, Yerim nodding and smiling sadly.

“I stopped by my old studio a few weeks ago when you were at work. My idol group was in there practicing with a new choreographer because they were having a comeback soon.” She wiped a few tears from her eyes. “I created the choreography for their title track, I’m so proud of them.”

Hyunjin smiled softly and allowed the spirit to hold her hand. 

“I’ve seen their past choreographies and if I’m not mistaken, you created those too?” Yerim nodded in response to Hyunjin’s question. “You’re talented, Yerim.”

“Was talented,” the spirit pointed out, the older girl nodding and looking down.

“Right, I’m sorry. I forgot.”

-

“P-Please! Let g-go!”

Hyunjin would never admit it, but she hated being alone.

Why? Because when she’s alone, it becomes a whole lot harder to suppress the desire she had. She never had good will-power, which would be the reason she was staring into the eyes of someone who was fighting for their life. “P-Please!”

Yerim had left a few hours prior and it was just too hard to hold back. She really didn’t want to do this, but she felt that she had to. 

She didn’t release the grip she held on the stranger’s throat, frowning slightly as she heard them take in short gasps of breath as they struggled to breathe. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, adjusting the mask she wore with her other hand.

She made an internal promise to herself that she wouldn’t kill after the last person she did, but… she was never good with promises. It was an unstoppable urge that clawed at her until she succumbed to it. 

She knew it was wrong, and she knew she’d regret it, she also knew the huge toll it would take on her and she most definitely knew that she’d be disappointing Yerim if she went through with it…

But she was doing it anyway.

The girl couldn’t be too old, definitely not older than Hyunjin herself, she also wasn’t any stronger; as proved by her weak kicks and scratches that weren’t doing anything in her favor.

She was about to finish her off, tighten her grip, and cut off her air supply completely. Maybe just snap her neck to get the job done quicker.

But she didn’t.

Her grip weakened, eyes widening as she watched her hands begin to shake. The girl took this chance to break free and to run off, Hyunjin, not even noticing as she brought her shaking hands close to her chest. She seemed to be rooted to her spot as her breaths became more labored, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Sometimes good people do really bad things.”

“I know that you don’t want to do what you do.”

“Yerim, I’m so sorry,” Hyunjin sobbed out softly, covering her mouth with her trembling hands to quiet her cries. “Please don’t hate me. P-Please…” 

Hyunjin allowed her tears to drip onto the concrete below her as she took a deep breath and tugged her hood back over her head. She could still feel tears slipping underneath the mask she wore, but she didn’t give it any attention as she walked home.

“You’re weak, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip.

“I-I’m sorry, mom.”

-

“Why am I like this?!” 

Hyunjin’s sweater and mask lay discarded on the floor as she gripped harshly at her own hair, pacing back and forth in the living room. “You were doing so well! Now you’re throwing away what you do for a stupid spirit?”

Hyunjin wanted to take back her words as soon as they left her mouth. Although Hyunjin wasn’t currently there to hear her say them, it still felt wrong. 

“But she’s not stupid…” Hyunjin spoke to herself, voice now quieter. “Sh-She’s caring and she likes me even though I’m the worst type of human. I-I killed her and she still doesn’t hate me! I don’t deserve any of this!” 

Tears dripped off of her chin as she subconsciously scratched lightly across her pale wrist with her fingernails, thoughts she hadn’t had in a while, slipping through the cracks in the wall she had built up in her mind.

You know you deserve it, Hyunjin. You’re a disgrace.

Just because Yerim acts nice towards you doesn’t change who you are. She’s probably just faking it so that you don’t act up again.

Come on…

The actions of her hand became more harsh, a slight sting spreading across the skin she was damaging. She looked down and bit her lip softly as she noticed a few welts that appeared there.

For old time’s sake?

“Yeah…” It was if she was in a daze at this point, feet dragging her to the bathroom although she knew she shouldn’t.

She shouldn’t turn the doorknob.

She shouldn’t open the door.

And she definitely shouldn’t search through her medicine cabinet for something she shouldn’t want to use…

But she did.

“It’s okay, it's okay…” She repeated those words like a mantra as she held the cold metal between her fingertips, shining in an almost taunting way. 

Her gaze turned to her wrist once more, eyes scanning across past scars from years ago, before sliding down the wall behind her and sitting on the floor.

“You’re a fucking mistake, Hyunjin!”

Her mother’s words from the day she first created a scar on herself rang in her ears as she brought the metal to her skin. 

“Nothing has changed,” she mumbled, pressing deeper on her flesh as she bit her lip to try and keep her tears from falling. 

She’s seen a lot of blood in her lifetime, but it always seems to look different when it’s her own. Crimson dripped off of her arm, Hyunjin sighing shakily as she watched it do so.

That’s not enough, Hyunjin.

Come on, how about another one? Another two? Three? Four?

Why not make each one deeper than the last? You know you want to.

Her thoughts were dangerous, all the self-hatred she had harborded for ages crashing into her mind after being kept away for so long. She didn’t even give it a second thought as a second and third cut were created on her forearm, the third so deep that the pain caused a few tears to slip down Hyunjin’s face as she squeezed her eyes shut. 

But it was fine, she told herself. It was okay because she wasn’t needed here anyway. She only caused pain, grief, suffering… It would be better if he was gone right? Of course it would-

“How is killing yourself going to solve anything?”

“If I ever come home and find you dead however, I’ll never forgive you.”

Hyunjin’s eyes snapped open and the razor blade fell from her hand, clattering to the ground.

Yerim.

A few moments ago, her thoughts were set on her own self destruction. Now? Only one person occupied them.

“What am I doing?” She gasped out, realization hitting her like a ton of bricks as she stared down at the bloody mess that was her arm. “I can’t do this to her. What will happen to her when I’m gone? Think for once, Hyunjin!” 

She stood up quickly, legs feeling weak as she gripped on the bathroom counter and looked into the mirror at herself, “Why are you like this? she asked her reflection, shaking her head before opening the cabinet once more and searching for a second before grabbing the bandages she knew she stored.

She tried to ignore the pain that seared through her arm, nearly crying out as she turned on the tap and ran it under the water. 

Hyunjin bit her lip before drying it gently, pressing the towel on her arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding quicker. After wrapping it in the bandages and disposing of the razor, she rubbed her eyes and walked back downstairs.

“Mom? Are you listening?” She asked the silence quietly as she dragged her feet across the floor. “You hate me right now, don’t you? I-I’m sorry, but I can’t do this to her. Is this betrayal? Am I betraying you? I don’t want to because you’re my mom and I love you a-and…” She sighed as she leaned against the kitchen counter, tears dripping onto the surface. “And I just want you to love me back.”

“I never meant to hurt you, mom. I-I’m sorry. Am I making you proud? Is this making you proud? Do you like the fact that your daughter is a murderer?” She continued asking questions, getting no answers, of course. “I just want you to hug me like you did before dad left, I want you to tell me that it’s okay! It hurts not having a family mom, it really does.”

“Family is important, Hyunjin. Your dad and I might still be sad, but if we stick together, we might be okay.”

Those were the only kind words she remembered her mom saying. Her dad left them the day after. 

Apparently she took her words back when he did.

All she knew as she wiped her eyes was that she needed Yerim home as soon as possible. She didn’t want to be home alone anymore. 

She was grateful for Yerim, so much so that she knew it would be hard if they ever parted, although she knew they probably would eventually. 

It was to the point that she knew now exactly what she felt for the spirit.

“Yerim, please get home soon. I need to tell you something.”

-

“Yerim, you look horrible.”

“Thank you.”

Yeojin frowned as she looked down upon the spirit who sat on the floor below her. Yerim was usually one of the cheerful of the spirits who visited the mansion, but now? She looked miserable. 

Her skin looked even paler than before, eyes looking red from crying, and hair messed up and frizzy. Yeojin crouched down and sat next to Yerim, noticing the few soft sniffles that could be heard coming from her. “Seriously Yerim. What happened?’

“I wish I could die again,” Yerim whispered, “I’m such an idiot, Yeojin.”

The other spirit became increasingly worried at Yerim’s words, sliding closer to her and watching as a few more tears slid down her face. “Of course I fall in love with someone after I die. Life is just fair like that. And of course it’s someone who I shouldn’t want to be around and should hate. I’m just making this difficult for myself! I’ll have to leave her anyway if I want to be truly happy. The only fucking thing I have to do as a spirit is get her to turn herself in and I fall in love with her instead? What is wrong with me?” Yerim wiped the tears off of her face before burying her head in her hands and sighing deeply.

Yeojin was in shock as she sat next to the other spirit, letting her words sink in. 

“Y-You’re in love with Hyunjin?” She asked, Yerim nodding softly.

“And I hate myself for it,” she croaked. “Do you know how many spirits in here would kill to get their killers arrested and here I am falling in love with mine? Pathetic.”

Yeojin suspected it. Ever since Haseul told her that Yerim was defending Hyunjin and trying to rationalize the fact that she was a spirit because of the girl. 

“Could I ask why?” The other spirit nodded once more and brought her knees up to her chest.

“She’s so nice, Yeojin.” Yerim’s voice cracked halfway in between her sentence. “She cares about me, listens to me, and says such sweet things that I’ll never forget. She’s had such a horrible past and she doesn’t want to kill people, but it’s so drilled into her mind that she needs to. Her laugh and her smile and the way she’ll play with my fingers while we’re talking and the way she holds onto me like I could disappear any moment when we hug... Yeojin, I shouldn’t like her this much! I should hate her! Why don’t I hate her?”

Yeojin nearly teared up herself as she listened to Yerim speak, biting her lip as she thought about the love she had while she was alive. 

“When did you know?” She asked, Yerim shrugging.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I’m begging you, Hyunjin. Don’t go out tonight. Don’t take any lives.”

“You’re changing me and I don’t like it.”

“That means I’m doing my job right then.”

“It was the night she told me about her past,” Yerim answered, staring down at her feet. “It was the first time she showed any form of remorse and emotion around me. I hugged her as we sat on her couch at the late hours of the night and… I hate her a bit less than before.”

Yeojin watched as Yerim tugged the sleeves of the sweater she wore over her hands and wiped away the remaining tears. 

“Tell her.” Yerim’s eyes widened at Yeojin’s words, shaking her head rapidly.

“Absolutely not,” she answered immediately, the other spirit sighing in response.

“Tell me, what do you have to lose? If she doesn’t like you back, it’s not like she can keep you away. If she does, maybe she’ll love you enough to turn herself in,” Yeojin spoke, Yerim watching her intently as she did.

“You make it sound way easier than it probably is.”

-

“Yerim, can I hug you?”

Yerim was caught off-guard by Hyunjin’s words as she walked back into the older girl’s house.

She nodded nonetheless, wrapping her arms around her and feeling Hyunjin’s hands grip the back of her sweater. She didn’t know the reason and she didn’t know how long it would last, but Yerim did know that she appreciated how warm Hyunjin felt against her. “I nearly did something realy stupid today, Yerim.” 

Yerim grew scared at the older girl’s words, staying silent as they both swayed in each other’s embrace. “I wanted to die so badly, Yerim.”

Hyunjin felt as the spirit’s grips on her tighten as she uttered those seven words, her sighing before continuing. “It all came crashing back onto me, you know? No matter how many times you assure me that ‘m not, I’ll always know that I’m a horrible person and I guess I couldn’t handle the thoughts anymore. I nearly cut too deep, I nearly went too far, but-”

Yerim pulled away before the older girl could finish, pushing back the material of the long-sleeved shirt she wore and feeling her eyes water once she found bandages there. “But then I remembered you,” the black-haired girl finally finished, Yerim halting her actions to look into Hyunjin’s eyes. 

“‘What would happen to you?’ I thought. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m living for you, not for myself,” Hyunjin mumbled, tugging her sleeves back down and looking out the living room window.

Yerim looked down for a moment before huffing and looking back up. “Hyunjin. I need to tell you something,” she spoke, Yeojin’s words ringing in her ears as she watched the older girl’s head turn towards her.

Hyunjin sighed and nodded.

“I need to tell you something too.” She tapped her fingers along her thighs nervously, the spirit in front of her watching her small movements for a moment before speaking again.

“Judging by how we’re both acting, I’ll guess that they're both pretty important, so...” She looked into Hyunjin’s eyes, “How about we both say them at the same time?”

The older girl nodded.

“Alright. Three, two…” 

Yerim gulped and could feel her hands shaking. “One.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Silence overtook the two as the three words they both spoke sunk into both of their minds.

“I love you.”

They didn’t speak, they didn’t dare to as the air seemed to become heavier around them. So many thoughts swirling in each of their minds that they wished they could speak if their mouths didn’t fail them. If their lips weren’t afraid to utter words to each other in order to cut through the quietness they were surrounded in.

“I-I just wanted you to know,” Yerim mumbled, aware that, although they shared the same feelings, they could never develop a relationship more than the one they were currently in.

Yerim wasn’t even technically living anymore. It would be weird. 

Yerim would have to leave anyway. Progressing their relationship further would only hurt the both of them.

“Y-Yeah,” Hyunjin spoke shakily, voice soft, “Me too.”

Their feelings were both out there now. What could they do?

“I wish you were alive, Yerim,” Hyunjin sighed. “This would make things so much easier. We would’ve met anyway if I hadn't killed you. Jiwoo wanted to introduce us.” 

The spirit looked down at her feet, rocking back and forth as she tried to organize her thoughts. “I just want to turn back time. I fucked up really bad.”

“I shouldn’t love you, Hyunjin,” Yerim huffed, “If it were any other spirit, they would be hating your guts right now, but I just want to hug you so tight and never let go. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“You were given the gift to see the good in every single person, Yerim.” The older girl smiled. “Even if it’s some murderer like me. You took the time to listen to me, to understand what I’ve been through, and didn’t just label me as some insane serial killer. If you were wondering what made me fall for you, I just said it.”

Yerim shook her head and rubbed her face before looking back at the black-haired girl in front of her.

“It’ll never work.”

“I know,” Hyunjin nodded, “You’re a spirit, I’m alive. You need me to turn myself in anyways. We weren’t meant to be, Yerim.” She sighed, Yerim frowning at her words.

“We obviously were,” she said. “What are the chances that I walk into the coffee shop you work at while you’re working, and you just so happen to feel the need to bring me a drink.” Hyunjin shrugged. “I usually don’t believe in fate, but that has to mean something.”

Hyunjin stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Yerim’s waist, the spirit sighing and resting her head on the older girl’s shoulder, 

“You know that I love you, I know that you love me. It’s fine like that. We don’t need to escalate this any further, we’re fine where we are.”

-

“Jiwoo, how have you been?”

Hyunjin placed a small vanilla latte onto the table Yerim sat at, Jiwoo thinking it was an adorable gesture and Yerim leaning down to take a sip of the drink without picking up the cup. 

She wasn’t sure if it would look like a floating mug when she picked it up and decided that it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Because Hyunjin made it, she was able to drink it and that made her happy. Vanilla lattes were her favorite drink and she always expressed that to both Hyunjin and Jiwoo.

“Do you always leave a drink at Yerim’s table? Because if so, that’s the sweetest thing ever,” Jiwoo cooed, laying her hand on tap of Hyunjin’s and tapping her fingers across the skin as they sat one table behind Yerim’s. 

No one really sat at Yerim’s table anymore. The choreographer came into the shop every single day before work and on her break, everyone knew her, and everyone knew where she always sat. 

They left the table empty, “Just in case her spirit self wants to visit,” as Vivi said.

If only they knew.

“It’s been nearly half a year since she died now,” Jiwoo mumbled, Hyunjin watching her fingers as they continued to tap across the back of her hand.

“That’s right,” Hyunjin nodded, “It’ll be six months this Tuesday.”

Yerim’s eyes widened as she took another careful sip of her drink, catching Hyunjin’s gaze and wiping some of the foam off of her face.

It had been nearly six months since she died? 

That’s right! She thought, My group was set for their comeback in six months right before I died.

Time flew a lot faster than she thought it would. In all honesty, Yerim believed that being a spirit would be nothing, but misery and sadness for her, waiting desperately for her killer to be found.

But in reality? Yes, she experienced some sadness and maybe it hadn’t been the smoothest ride so far, but Hyunjin made her happer. She made her forget that she was even a spirit at times, her infectious laugh and intoxicating hugs making Yerim feel more alive than ever. 

She hadn’t visited her family in a while, which she felt bad about, but on the other hand, she knew that seeing them would only weigh her down with emotions she didn’t want to have. She can’t talk to them like she wishes to, she can't hug her brother and tell him that ‘It’ll be okay’ like she wants to so desperately.

Yerim wants to tell everyone that she’s okay and she wishes that she was alive so that she could introduce Hyunjin to her family. She wishes that somehow she’ll be able to get her message across that she's still here to her loved ones, let them know that she’s not completely gone. Emotions that she hadn’t felt since the night she became a spirit broke through the walls she built up in her mind like water breaking through a floodgate.

She missed her family.

She missed her job.

She missed her friends.

She missed everything.

Even if she was alive, she still could’ve met Hyunjin, so she couldn’t help, but sigh as she stared down at the drink in front of her, a pain in her chest that wouldn’t go away as the thoughts became more persistent. 

She just wanted one of Hyunjin’s comforting hugs. 

And so, she stood up and walked over to where Hyunjin was sitting, wrapping her arms around her from behind and resting her head on the older girl’s shoulder. 

She felt Hyunjin tense up and she sighed. It’s the ideal situation for Hyunjin to hug her back. 

But of course that didn’t happen.

-

It was silent.

Not that Hyunjin expected any difference, if it weren't the sound of things being thrown and her mother’s raised voice, silence was the only other things her ears succumbed to in her house.

Her birthday was yesterday, of course she herself was the only one who remembered. Sixteen didn’t feel any different from fifteen, the same heavy heart she had carrying on to her next year. She caught her reflection in the mirror that was smashed in the corner of the room, noticing the dried blood around the gash that her mother’s push into said mirror caused.

Her bones stuck out, colorful bruises adorning the skin covering them.

But she understood. Her mom was hurting, her eldest son was found dead, and her husband left because of it. Hyunjin was just her means of getting frustration out. She still loved her, she was her only family now after all.

“Hyunjin?” She nearly flinched at her mother’s voice, turning around on the couch she sat on and plastering a smile onto her face.

“Yes, mom?” She asked, fairly uneasy about how calm she was acting. It wasn’t like her.

“Today’s a special day, sweetie,” she cooed, Hyunjin’s eyes warily focused on the hand behind her back. “Oh, I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened as she brought her hand out from her back, a knife held within it that glistened in the light, shining through the window. 

“M-Mom? What are you doing?” She slowly got up from the couch, eyes widened and body trembling in fear.

Her mom wouldn’t really kill her, would she?

“Both of us a favor.” Hyunjin wasn’t quick enough to move away before she lunged at her, her strangled cry ripping through the silence as the blade sliced through the flesh above her collarbone. “Don’t fight it, Hyun. Let mom have her way.” 

She shoved her against the wall behind them, a near psychotic smile on her face as she watched her daughter nearly crumple onto the floor, clutching onto the wall to keep her balance.

“Mom, p-please… Don’t do this. I-I love you,” Hyunjin stuttered out, her breathing quickening as her mom approached her quickly. 

Her mom raised her arm, targeting Hyunjin’s neck as she was about to slash at her daughter. And she would have, had Hyunjin not caught her wrist as a reflex.

“Hyunjin.” Her voice was a near growl, Hyunjin’s lips quivering in fear. “Let your mom go.”

“No!” She wasn’t sure where her confidence came from, probably her mind doing all it could to keep her alive. “I don’t want to die!”

“You should!” Her mom yelled, Hyunjin feeling her eyes water as her grip on her mother tightened.

“I don’t!” She yelled back, time seeming to slow down at her next actions. She twisted her wrist, therefore turning the blade as well before pushing her forearm back harshly. 

It wasn’t until she crumpled to the floor that she realized what she had done.

The knife stuck out of her chest, her eyes widened as she gasped for breath. “M-Mom?” 

She immediately crouched down next to her, holding her face and looking into her clouded eyes. “N-No! Mom, I didn’t mean to! Please don’t die, y-you’re all I have…”

A small smile rested on her mom’s face before she coughed, blood coating her lips. 

“Maybe you were destined to be alone.” Hyunjin’s heart shattered at her words, pulling the knife out of her chest before hugging her close to her.

“I don’t want to be alone!” She sobbed, burying her head in the crook of her neck as she listened to her breathing slow. “Don’t leave me!”

“Maybe one day, I’ll be proud of you, Hyunjin... But that day, isn’t t-today.”

Hyunjin sat up abruptly in bed, breathing harshly and sweat shining against her body. 

She hadn’t dreamed about that in a while, just now realizing that tears were falling down her face as a result of it. Her past haunted her, her mom’s last words ringing in her ears and causing her to choke out a sob that she quickly silenced as she didn’t want to wake Yerim up, who slept beside her.

The spirit stirred nonetheless. 

“Hyunjin? You’re awake?” Yerim woke her eyes before getting a closer look at the older girl, eyes widening when she did. “Wait, what’s wrong?” 

She slid closer to the girl, holding one of her hands as she looked at her expectantly.

“I should have let her kill me, Yerim,” Hyunjin croaked, “What kind of person kills their own mom? If I had died then and there, you’d still be alive. A lot of people would still be alive.”

Yerim frowned, quickly deducing that Hyunjin had dreamed of the night she killed her mother.

“Hyunjin, you fought to live. You were meant to be alive. Sure, you took a path that probably wasn’t the best, but you were meant to be here nonetheless. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and I wish that I could give you a better life. Nobody deserves to have gone through what you did,” Yerim sighed.

“I was alone for a long time, Yerim,” Hyunjin sniffled, “I hate being alone. It scares me.”

Yerim wrapped her arms around Hyunjin’s torso, burying her head into her shoulder. 

“I’m here, Hyunjin,” she mumbled, the older girl nodding and resting her head on top of the spirit’s.

“But you’re going to leave one day and then I’ll be by myself again,” Hyunjin whispered, closing her eyes and not being able to stop a frown from appearing on her face. The two were silent for a while after that, the sound of Hyunjin’s clock ticking being the only noise that graced their ears.

“I’m sorry,” Yerim finally answered, breaking the silence and pulling Yerim even closer to her. She didn’t want Hyunjin to be alone. The girl had been through so uch and she deserved to have someone by her side. Sadly, Yerim knew that most likely couldn’t be the case.

“Don’t be.”

-

“Would you like to explain to me why the hell you’re supporting her in this?”

“I can’t control what she does, Haseul. Might as well give her the support she needs.”

Haseul sighed as she buried her feet deeper into the grass she and Yeojin sat on, frowning as she let the other spirit’s words sink in. 

“It’s just going to hurt her,” she huffed, Yeojin nodding and shrugging.

“And when it does, she’s just going to have to know that she brought it upon herself,” Yeojin replied, Haseul humming in response before looking up when she sensed the presence of another next to her. “What’s up, Hyeju?” She allowed a smile to replace her worried features once she noticed the older spirit.

“Have you seen Yerim?” Hyeju asked, sticking her hands in her pockets and swaying from side to side gently. Yeojin and Haseul both shared a look.

“I’m pretty sure she went out for a walk,” Yeojin lied, extremely aware from what Yerim told her earlier today that she was going to have a movie day with “Hyunjinie.” 

She looked so happy when she explained her day plans that Yeojin couldn’t find the heart to advise her against it, instead waving her off with a “Have fun!”

“Why? What do you need?” Haseul asked, the younger spirit shrugging and brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.

“Nothing in particular. I just like talking to her, you know?” Hyeju spoke, the other two spirits beside her nodding. “She knows how to make people happier and it can be kind of hard to be happy when you’re a spirit.”

“I hear you,” Yeojin agreed, “I suppose you just need to find something to keep you occupied and help you forget. That’s what Yerim does to keep a smile on her face.”

Hyeju furrowed her eyebrows and sat down beside the other two spirits. 

“What does she do?” She asked, Haseul looking down and biting her lip before answering.

“I’m not quite sure, but it seems to be working.”

-

“You’re warm.”

Hyunjin chuckled at the spirit’s words, planting a quick kiss atop the crown of her head and rubbing her hand up and down Yerim’s bicep. 

“Why thank you.”

The fourth movie in their marathon played in the background of their exchange of words, the bright moving scenes across the screen illuminating their faces in the dark. One blanket covered the both of them, Yerim resting her head on the older girl’s shoulder as she watched a story play out before her.

But Hyunjin had something she wanted to say since their double confession. It was six words. Six words that she knew would make Yerim happy, so why wouldn’t her tongue let her speak them? 

She wanted to confess her feelings before she committed to what she needed to tell the spirit, knowing that she’d never forgive herself if she left without letting her know. 

It’s what Yerim always wanted, right? It was the only reason she was a spirit in the first place. Hyunjin could think of at least four other spirits that would benefit them if she went through with what she was thinking.

But she would lose all of her friends. Jiwoo would hate her, Vivi would hate her, but it wasn’t like she had family to hate her, did she? Her dad was… somewhere. And it’s known what happened to her mom and her brother. She never met her grandparents, so it wouldn’t surprise her if they didn’t even know that she existed.

You can’t run away forever, Hyunjin. You might as well stop living in fear.

“Yerim, I have something I need to tell you.” Yerim looked up at Hyunjin’s words, raising an eyebrow and turning slightly so that she could face her fully.

“It sounds pretty important.”

Hyunjin nodded and picked up Yerim’s slender hand to trace patterns across the skint here. 

“I've been thinking about telling you this since I told you that I loved you. A-And I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to follow through with it, but…” Yerim frowned as Hyunjin paused and waited for her to continue. “I’m going to turn myself in.”

Yerim froze, attempting to figure out if she heard the older girl correctly or not. 

“Y-You’re going to turn yourself in?” She asked, Hyunjin nodded in confirmation.

“You need me to, Yerim. I love you so much, but you have to know that our relationship is absolutely crazy and is not made to last,” Hyunjin’s voice breaking on the last word, “I’m setting you free because I want the best for you. Keeping you here with me would only be selfish.”

“If she doesn’t like you back, it’s not like she can keep you away. If she does, maybe she’ll love you enough to turn herself in.”

“Are you being serious? You’re not fucking with me?” Yerim wiped at her eyes as she saw Hyunjin nod, leaning closer and resting her forehead against the spirit’s.

“I’d never kid around about this,” she whispered, looking into Yerim’s eyes. “You deserve this and… it might be tough on me, but that’s what love is about, right? Sacrifice?”

Yerim shook her head, feeling Hyunjin’s breath against her skin. 

“I think it’s about both people carrying equal burdens and if they’re unequal, it’s about helping to lessen the weight. You lessened the weight of mine and I’ve never been able to thank you enough for that.” Hyunjin smiled at Yerim’s words, studying the way her hair fell upon her pale skin, adorable freckles dotting sparsely across her face. Her captivating eyes and beautiful smile.

She was breathtaking.

And she felt guilty that she was the only one who could witness her beauty.

“You lessened mine too, you know.” Hyunjin smiled, leaning a tad closer and giggling when her nose brushed against the spirit’s. “I’ll probably be locked up for life, considering I’ve been responsible for many more deaths than just yours, but… you gave me enough happiness to last a lifetime.”

“Will you miss me?” Yerim’s words were soft as she intertwined her fingers with the older girl’s, Hyunjin nodding softly. 

She was terrified to lose Yerim actually. The thought of being alone for the rest of her life was causing her great distress.

But Yerim deserved this.

“It would be hard not to.”

-

“I-I’m going to be free, Haseul.” 

Haseul was shocked as she heard the words Yerim spoke, the younger spirit smiling as tears pricked at her eyes. “She said she loves me. She says that it’s only fair to let me go. T-That it would be selfish to keep me to herself.”

Never in her (after)life has Haseul ever heard of a killer turning themself in because they love a spirit. She’s seen a spirit manipulate their killer into turning themself in, she’s seen a spirit scare their killer… but fall in love with them? Never.

Yerim was something else entirely.

“When?” The older spirit asked, Yerim smiling sadly and sticking out her hand.

“Really soon, I suppose. Look.” Haseul looked down at the raven-haired spirit’s hand and her eyes widened slightly, noticing the fairly translucent look it had in comparison to her own. She’s seen many spirits come and go in her time, so she knew well what it meant.

Yerim would be gone soon.

The younger of the two was surprised when Haseul pulled her into a hug, burying her head into Yerim’s shoulder and resting her arms around her waist. 

“I know I’ve been a bit of an ass to you, Yerim, but I just didn’t get it. H-How could you love someone who hurt you so much?” Haseul’s words were muffled slightly against her shoulder, Yerim smiling and resting her arms upon the older girl’s shoulders. “But that day I saw you walking with her, god, you looked so happy. You practically glowed when he looked at you and… I was jealous, Yerim.”

“You were jealous?” Yerim absentmindedly played with the hair at the nape of Haseul’s neck as they both swayed back and forth gently. “Why?

The older spirit sighed.

“I never had the chance to tell the person I love my feelings before I died,” she whispered. “She was the only person I ever loved and I’ve always hated myself for putting off my confession. You and Hyunjin looked so happy together and I just… I knew that’s what I missed out on by not saying anything.”

“Haseul, it’s not your fault,” Yerim sighed. Haseul had never really opened up to her, so it was new to see the older spirit so emotional. “You were waiting until you were ready, you couldn’t possibly tell the future and know that your time alive would be cut short. Don’t blame yourself, alright?”

Haseul nodded weakly and pulled away from Yerim, wiping her eyes. 

“I haven’t even known you as long as I’ve known some of the other spirits here, but I’m going to miss you so much,” she sniffled. “Like I’m happy your spirit is moving on, but you brightened up this entire place, Yerim. Hyeju was talking to Yeojin and I yesterday about how you just know how to make everyone happier. Which is true and I think I’ll miss that the most.”

Yerim wiped at her eyes and chuckled softly. 

“I never knew you had such a soft side, Haseul.” She grinned, the older spirit laughing softly as well.

“Only for you, Choi. Only for you.”

-

“You were right, Yeojin. I guess she did love me that much.”

Yeojin gasped softly as she noticed the translucent appearance of the familiar spirit who stood before her, walking over to Yerim and pulling her in for a hug. 

“This is a first for me, you know? Never in my time here have I seen a spirit form a relationship with their killer like you have.” She sighed, pulling away and patting the shorter spirit’s shoulder. “You’ll probably go down in history here, you know? The spirit who fell in love with her killer. Making history, Yerim.”

Yerim laughed, crossing her arms.

“Can I count on you to tell my tale long after I’m gone?” She asked, Yeojin nodding and chuckling softly.

“You sure can. It’ll be the story I tell to get the younger spirits to settle down,” she answered, Yerim shaking her head and smiling.

“I’ve got a legacy going for me here.”

“You’re a tough one to forget, Yerim.” 

The older spirit couldn’t help, but tackle Yeojin into another hug, Yeojin smiling and rubbing Yerim’s back. “I’m gonna miss you, but I’m happy you’re finally getting what’s best for you. There’s a lot of theories on where spirits go after they’ve been set free and I can’t say I fully believe only one of them, so I wish you the best in everything you might encounter.”

The raven-haired spirit nodded, sighing into Yeojin’s shoulder before pulling away and wiping her teary eyes. 

“Thanks for always helping me out. I probably would’ve been lost without you.” Yerim smiled sadly, Yeojin returning the expression.

“It was my pleasure. I’m glad I got to meet you.”

-

“Yerim! It’s happening to you too?”

Yerim smiled sadly as Hyeju grabbed her hand, comparing the less than opaque tone of their skin. 

“I-I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I never did because I knew you’d think I was insane, maybe even get mad at me, but…” Yerim sighed, “The same person killed both you and me and she’s turning herself in because… she loves me.”

Hyeju’s eyes widened and she stepped back, furrowing her eyebrows as she processed Yerim’s words. 

“She loves you? So is that where you go all the time? To go have cute little dates with that murderer ? The person who killed both of us ?” Yerim nodded, the other spirit looking at her incredulously. “Why?”

“She’s nice,” Yerim shrugged, “And in all honesty, I’ll probably miss her.” 

Hyeju opened her mouth to speak, but Yerim interrupted her before she could. “I know you think it’s probably the craziest thing you’ve ever heard, but it’s benefiting you. When I first met her, she was the most cold-hearted person I think I’ve met. Who knows how long she would’ve kept killing?”

Hyeju’s face softened.

“So I guess I should be thanking you then?” She asked, raising an eyebrow. The other spirit shook her head.

“No need.”

“So we’re good then?”

“I would hope so.”

-

“Why are you here?”

Yerim had searched for nearly a half-hour for Hyunjin after not being able to find the girl once she returned home. She never expected to find her sitting at the spirit’s grave. 

Her hair was messy, eyes looking tired, and contrasting the bright smile she flashed the spirit.

“I wanted to pay my respects,” she answered, Yerim raising an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you just say whatever you need to say to my face?” She asked, Hyunjin standing up and wiping the dirt off of her pants.

“I need to get used to not having you around, Yerim.” The smile she had on her face was now one Yerim could recognize as undeniably sad. She stepped forward and took Hyunjin’s hand in hers, the older’s eyes widening as she did. “You’re fading away.”

Nodding, Yerim reached up and wiped the few tears that were able to escape Hyunjin’s eyes.

“It’s a good thing, Hyunjin, trust me.” She leaned forward and the older girl’s eyes widened as she felt Yerim’s cold lips on her cheek. “You’ll miss me, right? Because it’ll be awkward if I miss you and you don’t miss me back.”

Hyunjin smiled softly, bringing her hand up to feel the spot Yerim’s lips touched.

“How could I not?”

Yerim sighed and grabbed hold of Hyunjin’s wrist as she began to walk away from where her tombstone stood.

“We should go. It looks like it’s about to rain.”

-

They were both quiet, the slight hum of Hyunjin’s air conditioner being the only sound as she and Yerim lay beside each other in the older girl’s bed. They were about an arms length apart, at least they were until Yerim slid closer and stared into Hyunjin’s eyes. 

“I really do love you, Hyunjin,” she whispered, the older feeling her stomach fluttering at the spirit’s words.

“I love you too,” she responded, moving closer as well and resting her hand on top of Yerim’s.

Hyunjin watched Yerim’s every move as the spirit’s hand weaved into her hair, leaning close until their noses touched. She could feel Yerim’s breath against her lips, the air around her seeming to increase in temperature; she and Yerim had never gotten this close after all.

That being the reason the older girl couldn’t help, but gasp as Yerim’s cold lips finally touched hers, responding immediately and bringing her hands down to where she gripped the other’s waist. Sure, she’d kissed Yerim’s forehead before and Yerim had kissed her cheek as well, but this was new.

Yerim’s lips were just as soft as she imagined, sucking on Hyunjin’s bottom lip softly as her hands moved to the older girl’s shoulders.

And everything seemed to disappear around them. It was as if they weren’t parting ways anymore. As if nothing else could separate them. With Yerim’s lips on her and her small hands gripping the back of her shirt, it was as if they’d be together forever.

They wouldn’t be, however, and they both knew that.

But that wouldn’t stop them from pretending.

-

It was finally happening.

Yerim’s features were becoming less and less opaque as she walked through the thick wall of the courtroom, turning around and frowning as she watched the person she loved walk in. 

She thought she’d be okay, but she couldn’t help, but wipe tears from her eyes as she spotted the handcuffs that adorned Hyunjin’s wrists, two police officers holding a strong grip on both of her arms.

The first section of the trial began a week ago, so you’d think Yerim would be used to this by now. She’s not, however. Hyunjin hadn’t just confessed to Yerim’s murder, but also to five other people’s.

Son Hyeju.

Jeon Heejin.

Park Chaewon.

Ha Sooyoung.

Kim Jungeun.

All very young, two of which Yerim had the pleasure of meeting. She had no idea Hyunjin was the reason for Jungeun being a spirit and hoped the best for Jinsoul, whom Jungeun had become close with in her time as a spirit.

Yerim caught Hyunjin’s gaze as the older girl was ushered into the courtroom, the black-haired girl smiling and sending a wink her way.

“I’ll be okay,” she mouthed before having her handcuffs removed and sitting in her designated seat.

Yerim wanted this, didn’t she? She wanted to be so free and she didn’t want to be a spirit anymore. So then why did her heart ache as her eyes rested upon the orange jumpsuit Hyunjin wore in replacement of her usual white t-shirt and jeans?

“Yerim, shouldn’t you be happy today? If all goes well, you’re going to be set free.”

Yerim sighed, nodding as she played with Haseul’s hair. 

“I’m just going to miss all of you guys, I guess. I also kind of feel bad for Jinsoul,” she responded, the older spirit humming in response.

“Try not to miss me too much, and because Jungeun’s leaving?” Yerim nodded. “She’ll be okay, I’ll be sure of it. Don’t even worry.”

“I don’t know… Her and Jungeun were like this.” Yerim crossed her fingers and showed Haseul.

“I know, but it’s basically a known fact that if you become friends with another spirit, they might move on eventually and when they do, you shouldn't take it as much of a surprise,” Haseul replied, “Jinsoul will be upset for a little bit, but I know deep down she’s happy for Jungeun. She’ll be okay.”

Yerim smiled.

“Weren’t you the one getting all mushy and crying into my shoulder the other day because you’ll miss me?” She teased, the blonde-haired spirit scoffing and hitting Yerim’s arm playfully.

“Just because I knew you’d leave eventually doesn’t mean I won’t miss you when you actually do, dumbass.”

“All rise.”

Yerim snapped out of the thoughts of her and Haseul’s conversation earlier this morning. Although the blonde-haired spirit was kind of a pain in the ass sometimes, Yerim would be lying if she said that she wasn’t going to miss her a little bit. (That’s a lie, she’s actually going to miss her a lot.)

She hoped that someday Haseul’s killer would be arrested as well. Twelve years as a spirit couldn’t have been fun, so she hopes that she won’t endure it too much longer. 

As of today, Yerim had been a spirit for just over nine months, Hyunjin having confessed to her crimes three months ago.

She hadn’t even been a spirit for a year, she couldn’t imagine having been one for twelve.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen…” Yerim couldn’t help, but drown out the judge’s words as she continued to stare at Hyunjin, moving from where she stood at the sidelines and weaving between the various seats toward the older girl.

Hyunjin noticed her, the gaze that followed her being the only factor that allowed Yerim to believe that was true.

“Oh, Hyunjin…” she mumbled, standing beside Hyunjin before sitting on the floor beside her and reaching up to hold her hand. She felt her fingers twitch, obviously wanting to hold Yerim’s hand in return, but knowing that she couldn’t. 

Up close, she noticed just how rough the older girl looked. Her usually perfectly styled black hair was now messy and swept off of her forehead in a way that indicated she had been running her hands through her hair a lot. She had dark circles under her eyes, her skin paler than she last remembered had Yerim worrying.

When she first walked in, she noticed her own family and Jiwoo sitting in the room. Oh, she’d never forget the expression etched into Jiwoo’s face as her eyes burned holes into the back of Hyunjin’s head. It was a mixture of hurt and betrayal, possibly a hint of hatred mixed in there as well.

Yerim couldn’t blame her. Jiwoo had spent months listening to Hyunjin express how sad it was that Yerim had left so soon and how she wished she was still alive so that they could meet.

Although Yerim herself knew that those words coming from her were true, she knew that to Jiwoo, they seemed like nothing, but bullshit and lies, feeling that she had been betrayed by her own best friend.

The families of all of the other victims were present as well, Yerim only being able to pick out Jungeun and Hyeju’s as they shared many similarities within their features.

“Miss Kim, please stand.” Yerim gulped and stood up as Hyunjin did, not letting go of the older girl’s hand. Although Hyunjin couldn’t hold her hand back, she felt that she needed to provide as much support as she could for the black-haired girl. “You are being trialed with five counts of first degree murder, how do you plea?”

Yerim looked up at Hyunjin, watching as she gulped before answering.

“Guilty.”

Yerim couldn’t help, but gasp as she watched her skin become even closer to transparent, able to see Hyunjin’s wrist through her arm as she held the older girl’s hand. 

She felt a mixture of happiness and sadness as this happened, aware that her time here was finally coming to a close.

She knew it would be best for her to be set free, but couldn’t help but feel sad that she would be leaving behind all of the irreplaceable relationships she had made. 

The trial went on agonizingly long, evidence being presented against Hyunjin, the girl not seeming fazed by it as she watched. 

Yerim couldn’t help, but feel butterflies in her stomach as the judge cleared his throat to announce the final verdict, leaning to the side and pressing her lips to Hyunjin’s cheek one last time.

“The jury has found the accused, Kim Hyunjin, guilty of six counts of first degree murder and will be sentenced to life in prison.”

Hyunjin did nothing, but nod, looking to her side and having her eyes widened once she noticed Yerim’s features begin to become completely transparent. Yerim looked down as she watched her hands and forearms fade away, looking up to Hyunjin and smiling sadly.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her feet beginning to fade away now as well.

“I love you,” Hyunjin spoke softly, words drowned out by many other voices in the courtroom.

But oh, Yerim heard it loud and clear.

A lone tear slid down her face as she realized that was the last time she’d hear Hyunjin’s voice.

“I love you too,” she sniffled, most of her translucent body having disappeared at this point. “So, so much.”

And with that, Yerim was gone, not a wisp of her visible to Hyunjin’s eyes.

She didn’t bother to wipe away the tear that fell down her cheek, allowing it to drip off of her chin and land on the wooden table in front of her.

It’s okay. She thought to herself, thinking to the words she spoke to Yerim the day they both confessed to each other.

We weren’t meant to be.

END.