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Nakahara Chuuya.
The biggest idiot that he’s ever known—which is amazing, given that he’s actually so small and petite, it really is a feat to manage to have that much room for stupidity inside his tiny body.
He only has fighting and all sorts of silly nonsense in his brain, such as thinking that tacky hats are cooler than bandages. He’s so silly, that there’s no room for common sense or shame in his mind.
Right now, he’s chasing away neighborhood kids that are at least twice his size, all while shaking his fists and yelling, “How dare you make Dazai cry! She’s my person, damn it!”
…Yes, Chuuya is stupid enough to believe him when he’s tricked him during their first meeting and claimed that he’s actually a fragile, sickly girl. He’s claimed that he’s someone so weak and fragile that he’d literally melt under the sun, and that he’d collapse on the street if he does anything too strenuous.
He remembers blue eyes boring into him back then, giving him a look so piercing that it’s almost as if he’s doing direct X-rays to his soul. He’s honestly expected that his new neighbor would shriek and try to strangle him for the obvious lie.
But Chuuya has proven his stupidity in trusting someone so easily.
“Okay. I’ll make sure to protect you then.” And then, a shine in his eyes as he claimed, “I’m older than you, so I’ll be a good older brother.”
Really stupid.
He’s still being homeschooled, but in the afternoons, he always sees Chuuya sauntering back home, with his chest puffed up and acting like he’s the boss of this neighborhood. From his dealings with him, he learns that Chuuya has also asked his little group of friends to call him the “older brother”, like some children’s version of a yakuza.
…Well, he can’t exactly complain. He greatly enjoys the perks of being able to dupe such a shorty. All he has to do is pout and make his voice sound softer, then Chuuya would blush like an idiot and then agree to hold his hand and then handfeed him snacks.
Right now, in this corner of the local park, he sits with his arms around curled-up knees, leaning against the largest tree. Of course, not only does this position make sure that they’re somewhere secluded from view, this also means that there’s a convenient shade against the sun.
He juts his bottom lip out and says, “You’re five minutes late, Chuuya.” He makes sure to make his lips wobble, all while sniffling a bit and trying to hide his face by tilting it to the side.
“Don’t cry,” Chuuya tells him with some twinge of hopelessness. Small hands try to pat his cheeks clear of his fake tears. “You’ll have a cold if you cry and then you can’t taste the milkshake we’ll have later.”
He resists the urge to roll his eyes at this clumsy coaxing method. Instead, he fake-shivers and squeezes out a few more tears from his eyes.
“They took my money away,” he says, full of grievances. He holds onto Chuuya’s shirt, surreptitiously wiping dirt onto the cloth. Of course, he leaves out the fact that he’s actually paid them to stage this scene today, so he can witness Chuuya’s act of being a prince in dire need of a horse so he’d be taller. “I don’t have money to buy milkshake anymore.”
Chuuya half-kneels beside him. Too close, but the chibi seems to have let go of his concerns about personal space after months of being glomped. Dazai makes sure that he isn’t frowning at this—Chuuya really is stupid, what if he’s actually a girl? Will he be this touchy-feely with them? He should make sure that this slug doesn’t get to interact with anyone else, or else he’d be this close with them.
“I’d buy one for you,” is the slug’s solemn promise, which makes him sound like he’s promising to get him the world.
He fake-cries some more. “You don’t want to share the straw with me?”
An explosion of red. “Fine! We’ll share one then!”
“No, you have to buy two,” because he plans on drinking a lot, “but we’ll drink them together!”
Chuuya looks at him like he’s about to crack his head open. Instead, he clenches his jaw and grits out, “Fine. We’ll share two.”
“You’re the best shorty!”
“Oi, that short part is not necessary!”
They bicker a bit more, while Chuuya tries to act out some measure of struggling when he goes and clings to his waist. That he can take advantage of this little openings… this slug is really too defenseless. How does he manage to survive being this clueless and innocent?
…Is he like this with others too?
He frowns as he recalls the information that he got from one of Chuuya’s classmates. This idiot has apparently formed a ‘protection squad’ for his class, defending them from bullies. Is he that addicted to trying to act like a heroic big brother, even when he’s so small?
A small chibi should just be concerned with one person, there’s no need for him to bother with other people, who might want to thank him by hugging him or giving him milk and then receiving a smile from him.
“Chuuya, I can’t move my legs,” he suddenly speaks up once they’re about to leave this park and walk towards the place that sells milkshake. “You have to carry me!”
Blue eyes look at him again with that searing intensity that makes him feel like he’s being seen-through completely. But then, a soft-hearted shorty is really easy to coax, so even if he snorts, Chuuya still squats in front of him, an obvious gesture for him to catch a piggyback ride.
He slowly embraces Chuuya from the back, while complaining, “Eh, but I’m taller than you, so wouldn’t my legs just drag against the ground?”
“I’m not that short, damn it!”
“Why would you say such lies to a lady!” He gasps loudly, and wraps his arms securely around the other’s chest. It’s not the standard piggyback pose, he knows, but this way, he can set his hand against Chuuya’s heartbeat and see if he becomes flustered with all sorts of tricks he plans on doing during the piggyback ride.
A short pause, as if Chuuya’s struggling to push down his flaring temper. Eventually, he says, “But you’re not like a proper lady anyway.”
He doesn’t panic at all. He waits until Chuuya adds, “You’re Dazai.”
He presses his smile against the other’s back, in-between the butterfly bones. It’s as if there are butterflies inside his chest, opening their wings and trying to flap away from him and into the shorty’s insides. “Mm, congratulations, you can still remember my name.”
“You—!!!”
Chuuya trembles in front of him, his teeth-gnashing rumbling throughout his entire body. He lets out soft laughter directly towards the back of the chibi’s neck, thinking that it’d be nice to put a leash there. A sign that he belongs to him, so that none of the other kids would think that he’s available to become their dog, their hero or their savior.
“…Oi, don’t bite me.”
“I haven’t bitten you,” he says, though now that Chuuya has mentioned it… it’s quite tempting.
An offhand, “I can sense that you’re about to.”
He makes a face at that statement. Sometimes, he does wonder just how much Chuuya is able to read him. Then again, if he can really read him, then why is he still playing along with his “fragile girl impersonation”? The only explanation is that he’s too silly and trusting.
“You sensed wrong,” he denies after a while, rubbing his cheek against the other’s nape, just as he rubs his hand over the other’s chest.
“Did I?”
“Uh-huh.”
He closes his eyes as they approach a busier road. They’re nearing the milkshake place, currently the most popular spot for all the kids in the neighborhood. With him being carried by Chuuya like this, then it’d be obvious for everyone to see that he’s already laid his claim on his personal maid and dog.
It’d be even better if he’s carried like a princess, so he can cause maximum embarrassment to Chuuya. He busies himself with plotting for the next time he can trick Chuuya into carrying him.
“Stop plotting,” comes the stern warning as they queue up to buy their snack. “Isn’t it better like this? I’m sure you wanted to see if my heartbeat will be faster if others see us like this.”
…Well, if he can read him this easily, then there’s only one thing he can do.
Dazai opens his mouth, and bites Chuuya’s neck, satisfied when he hears the chibi screech at him for doing such a thing.
Later on, he’d learn that Chuuya has known all along that he’s being tricked, and that he’s only gone along with it because he found it hilarious. Later, he’d learn about this and decide that it’s an invitation for him to continue tricking the slug into spoiling him even more.
For now, he rubs his face against the flushed neck, and demands that Chuuya continues to piggyback him home.
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end