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In a dark room, illuminated only by a spotlight above the small wooden table and simple chairs on which they both sat facing each other. Connecting their hazel eyes that once expressed, even still express a pure, passionate, sadistic love full of mutual trust. With a smile they begin their deadly game.
-Okay... for every empty round, a memory about us, do you agree?- Gerard mentioned, with a calm voice and full of sadism between each pronounced word. With his hands he began to prepare the dangerous game they were in, looking at the one he always considered the most gorgeous human in the world in front of him with every move made.
-Totally agree, honey- That was all Frank said, who watched as Gerard placed a bullet inside the gun cylinder and closed it to turn the cylinder.
-I'll start, since I was the one who proposed this- Gerard proposed, his face showing a satisfied smile. When he positioned the barrel above his temple, with his thumb he activated the hammer. He did not look away from Frank's gaze, his heart was pounding, feeling the adrenaline of his possible death. Gerard took a gulp of air and pulled the trigger, finding himself alive a second later because of the bullet that didn't come out. He smiled again wider than before, tossing the gun on the table -Well, very fun to decide which of all our super experiences to remember... however, I remember when we first met... remember? I was hiding a body in the sea and you stuck your nose in- Said the older one still smiling -I have in my mind your shocked expression, moving your eyes from my head to the tips of my fingers covered in blood, your words wouldn't come out, you were petrified in place, again directing your gaze from the body under my feet and on me- He let out a small laugh afterwards -And I at that moment I thought you would run away in fear, I was ready to run to you so you wouldn't report me to the police, y'know...- He looked down, furrowing his eyebrows with a confused expression -But, shit, you really surprised me when you smiled at me, your beautiful innocent smile, which obviously in that situation was not innocent at all and you offered to help me... I don't know if you did it out of fear or you simply found someone to commit your misdeeds with or a fucking fetish or because you were fucking high; but I was thinking about it to this day, I will never forget that fucking smile you gave me, telling me that you were my accomplice... and that's when my heart made contact with another person, it was the first time I felt that delicious warmth- He said finishing his story, sighed deeply while closing his eyes -Your turn, Frankie- He ordered, the men in front of him just smiled pleased, that smile that complemented perfectly with his puppy dog eyes that melted Gerard.
-okay- Frank spoke, his voice hoarse from not using it much since they had arrived on the scene. He grabbed the pistol by its grip looking at it carefully. He sighed in frustration remembering the way they had come to this, really didn't know if he felt angry at how things would end up or why he was so okay with this; either way, Frank had already gotten involved in this and there was no turning back. Nerves suddenly overwhelmed him, with trembling hand he directed the muzzle of the gun at his temple, closing his eyes and counting to three... as he relaxed the clenched jaw, realized his heart was still beating in his chest. He opened his eyes again meeting Gerard's amused gaze, as the air left his lungs, Frank let out a nervous laugh -Uff... this is pure adrenaline- He joked, putting the gun down on the table, still with his hands and knees shaking from the previous fear -A memory that comes to me now, is the day I asked you to be my boyfriend. We had amazing sex that night after running away from the cops that were roaming the area where we killed that son of a bitch republican minister. How long ago was it, thirty years ago? We were still living in Jersey back then. Anyway, we're so euphoric that night, we had just made our biggest kill together and there was no suspicion of who the fuckers were that killed the man; there was no suspicion that those fuckers were us- He let out a sharp laugh as shook his head remembering -We went crazy and ended up exhausted in the bed, sweaty and shaken, the sex was loud and dirty... I remember after thinking about it for a short while, I was smiling with my fingers caressing your sweaty chest and watching you trying to catch your breath, you looked so beautiful totally fucked up, that's when I proposed you to be my boyfriend, You smiled so genuinely that I didn't know if it was because of me or because of what had happened all that day, but it still filled my heart, you said yes and we went back for another round of sex- Frank spoke connecting his gaze to Gerard, with nostalgic eyes he gave him a smile that still contained affection.
-We were energetic young men back then. Our intimacy was always amazing- Gerard confirmed, with his big pale hands he grabbed the gun again, sighed again and placed it on his head. If he was honest, it was getting more and more painful to have to look at Frank to play, his smile was gone, but his eyes were still connected to reality. His index finger was still firmly on the trigger, his breathing remained calm and without a second thought... he squeezed -Fate wants this to be painful Right?- He said after slowly peeling the barrel away from his temple -Having another chance to tell our story.... Do you remember when we found Sweet Pea? I think so, she was so disgusting when we first saw her, we didn't know if she was really a dog or some kind of beast coming from Latin America, in those places there are so many terrifying legends that I thought she was one of them, Y'know? I didn't agree to take her, sorry, I was afraid she would bite my neck while I was sleeping... but while I was thinking about that, I saw you in front of her, your gaze was shining as much as if you had been told the best news in life, you were caressing her head no matter how dirty she was, I don't know if I had ever seen a smile as sincere as yours while you were connecting with her, maybe, I was a little jealous because of that, you never looked at me like that. But you seemed so desperate to adopt her, not judging her, needing to replace the pain of being abandoned with your pure love in her, so how to say no? How to separate them after seeing their connection in person? When we took her home; we bathed her together in the tub, we were completely soaked and her breath was horrible, but you dedicated yourself to washing out her mouth. It makes me think about it and wonder how is it that being a murderer for money, you still have your heart so full of love? It's so ironic the contrast of your blood-soiled hands and your innocent smile... it just makes those damn butterflies twist in my stomach at the thought- Gerard finished, letting out a sigh in love. He was still holding the gun in his hand, regretting a bit what they were doing -We'll both meet in hell, love, we're destined- He mentioned as saw the sad look on his lover's face, placing the gun in his tattooed hands as he brushed his fingers as walked away.
-Sweet Pea was an amazing family, I can't believe shitty people abandoned her because of how she looked, she was so sweet- he said grabbing the gun again, he bounced it in his palm premeditating his next move. Minute by Minute it was getting harder to face the damn game they were both in, they knew what the end of that is, as they were also clear that it was necessary to do it, somehow someone would get hurt more and that surely no matter what bullet went through the head of one of them, it would be the survivor who would suffer the consequences of their dangerous situation -This is real shit, but somehow the feeling is wonderful if it's with you- He smiled as placed the barrel this time in his mouth, looking seductively at his lover in front of him, licking the barrel sensually before proceeding with his act of chance. His tongue feeling the metallic taste of the gun, cold and hard -All this... we are so murky, I know the reason why we have this mental instability, but our history is fucking disturbing- His voice hoarse from the unexpected arousal flooding his body, raising the temperature of the room. With his eyes glued on Gerard's gaze he pulled the trigger without some kind of warning, letting out a guttural moan as Frank pulled the saliva covered gun from his mouth -God... it's so close- Frank said quietly, closing his eyes, his head tilted back from the adrenaline in his stomach -We went to celebrate our twentieth anniversary in a cemetery Remember?- He asked with a gasp, the fingertips caressing his tattooed neck and slowly moving down to his abdomen, his eyes connected with Gerard, who with a dark look and dilated pupils was biting his bottom lip -It was night and the sky looked beautiful. It didn't have that navy blue, it was gray because of the clouds that covered any stars or moon. The storm was coming and still we went to the place. We took alcohol, weed and condoms- Frank said with a chuckle -We walked hand in hand looking at each of the tombstones, seeing their dates, names and wilted flowers on some of them. The people were always selfish, after death they keep the memory at the end of their minds, but abandon them in their places where the body rests. But, moving on, it was cold as shit and you were teasing me because I might get sick- He looked at his boyfriend with mock annoyance -After talking trivialities... you proposed marriage to me, the most ironic thing about that shit, was that we couldn't get married, was impossible in every way, but you gave me this fucking ring anyway and that was one of the happiest days of my life, your face gave me the most sincere love, your eyes were admiring me somehow, I could see your nerves for my answer, expectant, swallowing with difficulty and your cheeks were turning red... damn it, I could see your damned humanity when you looked at me and I could forget all the atrocities we had done up to that moment- He rubbed his hands on his thighs, slowly massaging between his legs -I Accepted, of course. Then... again we had sex, we chose the widest tombstone to do so and was so public, so wrong, so immoral, so... so much sin we were committing, loved the way we didn't give a shit what the world said about us. We were even horny as the rain poured down on us violently, but we were still there, passionately giving ourselves to each other... an experience I'll never forget... I'd like you to make love to me, Gee.- Frank said, letting out a sigh of pleasure, squeezing his cock, turning his gaze to Gerard to lean in and connect his lips with need. The other kissed him back hard, playing with their tongues and passing salivary fluids between their mouths, Gerard noticed how Frank brought the gun closer in his mouth -your turn, baby- He mentioned breathlessly, leering between the barrel and his lover's deep eyes.
-Nevertheless... we did it a few hours ago, sweetheart- Gerard said with a chuckle -We're the biggest sinners on the planet, Frankie, still, I believe that, even if God punishes us as he does now, I would never change my life, because I know I could never love anyone as I do you, i love you so much- Gerard admitted, pressing his lips again with his lover. He licked the gun as well, smiling at the expression of Frank who was already seated again. It didn't take that long, just his heart beat fast as he pointed the gun at his temple, now his hands were shaking and sweating, but wasn't sure if it was from fear or from the pleasure Gerard was feeling, however, he brought two of his fingers to his lover's mouth as looked at him with intensity. The fingers ached as he felt Frank's teeth digging into his flesh. He was anxious, a part of him didn't want to pull the trigger, there were only two chances left and was at a fifty percent chance of dying and his chest hurt, Gerard didn't know which was being worse, because he knew that if he died, Frank would be in great pain and trauma watching him shoot himself. On the other if he lived, would have to live with the image of Frank dying... Gerard swallowed saliva, his chest was heaving and looked at Frank with anguished eyes as his lover continued to lick his fingers, it was strange, but their relationship from the beginning was like that and until the last moment they would do it their way. Without waiting any longer, he inhaled air being distressed and counting to three... he pressed the trigger.
-Gerard...- He uttered so subtly it was more akin to a sigh, Gerard's hand was still in his mouth, unable to make any movement; his eyes never wavering as his lover's upper body fell abruptly onto the table. The gun fell to the floor from the impact.
Frank remained in his seat for a few minutes, holding Gerard's hand in his hands. His ears listening to the thud of the bullet exiting the barrel, his mind bringing over and over the image of the spherical projectile piercing his lover's head, noticing the blood oozing exaggeratedly from the hole left by the bullet. Gerard's black hair was the only thing he could see from his position, where Frank still could not move because he was so petrified.
One of his hands rested on the crown of his boyfriend's dead body, breaking the instant he felt the contact, his eyes releasing tears interpreting the pain that lay in his heart. Frank squeezed his hand while his breathing was ragged.
-I love you so much too...- Was what came from his lips, walking around the table and with his fingertips, Frank closed his dead husband's eyelids, planting a small kiss on the corpse's cheek.
After that, he had no idea how to proceed. However, weeks later, being in the damned prison when he was discovered, Frank knew that he would soon be reunited with the love of his life by his own lost blood.