Work Text:
Polly opened her eyes with a start, flinching involuntarily as she woke up. She sat up straight, as the nightmare faded from her memory. Something about Basil… lying in a pool of his own blood…Shears in his hand…
Maybe she should check on him.
-
Basil sat on his bed, holding his grandmother’s gardening shears with trembling, slick fingers. She’d held this before as she showed Basil how to clip the extra branches and vines off her flowers. He’d already cut his forearm many times this night, dragging the sharp tip of the shears along his arm again and again; he deserved it after all, and he was essentially already dead anyway. Tiny drops of his blood trickled freely down his arm and onto the bed, staining it, before pooling on the ground. He just needed to finish it off and end it. He put the tip above his belly button, just over his stomach. He just needed to pull it back and swing…
His arm moved slowly and shakily, readying himself to sink the shears deep into his abdomen… He just needed… He…
Basil shut his eyes tight.
Polly turned the doorknob, before pushing it open.
There was a surprised yelp.
“Basil? Are you alright?”
“I… I-I-I’m oka-I’m alr-right… yeah…” Came Basil’s timid voice.
“I’m going to turn on the lights. Is that okay with you?”
“O-okay… Uh… but wait… I…”
But Polly had already flicked on the light switch, revealing everything in the room.
The bedsheets were splattered with blood. Basil was holding a pair of garden shears, his arm bloody with lines of crimson running across it, his eyes squinting. The desk had two pieces of wrinkled paper and five envelopes strewn haphazardly across it. There were also a few of Basil’s possessions and items assembled on it.
“Basil! What happened?!”
“I-I’m sorry… Please, I…” Basil ashamedly averted his eyes, his bloody left arm raised defensively in front of him. He let the red garden shears fall onto the floor again.
Polly grabbed his wrist, careful not to touch the cuts on his arm. Basil flinched in fear, cringing away from her.
“This… This… Basil, how long have you been doing this?” Some of the lines weren’t red, but were half-healed and scarred.
Basil whimpered, retreating even further into the corner and curling up slightly. Polly stepped outside, releasing her grip on the boy’s hand, and grabbed a first aid kit from the table in the hallway, before opening it up on the floor of the room.
She pulled out a few alcohol swabs and bandages. Basil was sniffling quietly in the corner of the bed, curled up into a ball. Grabbing his forearm again and pulling it away from Basil’s body, she quickly disinfected the cuts, ignoring his small yelps, before applying at least half a dozen bandages to the cuts.
“Basil… Basil, you shouldn’t be doing this to yourself,”
“I know, I know…” Basil was crying now.
“How long have you been doing this?”
“A mon— *hic* —month ago…”
“And what are these?” Polly asked, walking over to Basil’s desk and picking up the note. She already had a vague idea in her mind of what they were.
“No, it’s… it’s nothing! It’s nothing…” Polly ignored Basil’s complaint, starting to read it.
Dear Sunny, Polly, Aubrey, Hero, and Kel,
I’m sorry that you have to find out in this way. I’m sorry I'm too weak to take everything. I’m sorry for ruining your lives, ruining your friendships, and burdening you. I was so selfish and stupid to think I deserved your love and care. I deserve this. I shouldn’t have even joined the friend group in the first place. I’m so sorry. Polly, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything for me. I was already a lost cause, and I’m sorry for burdening you with my own mental health, my problems I should have kept to myself. I should’ve died long ago. I already knew I was going to hell. I’m sorry for dragging all of you down.
With me gone, you can finally enjoy a happy life.
I’m so sorry.
Goodbye.
“Basil… Is this… Were you… Is…” Polly stuttered, dropping the note on the desk and turning her eyes to the boy, who was sobbing uncontrollably, looking up at her, tears flowing down his face. “Were you planning on… killing… yourself?” Basil nodded, hiccuping and looking down in shame.
“Basil! How could you… You know… we love you, right? You don’t burden us at all… We’re happy to… to help…” On the envelopes sitting on the desk were written each of their names: Polly, Hero, Aubrey, Kel, and Sunny. Another piece of paper had “Will” in big letters written on the top. Basil was really about to… commit suicide. If… she had walked in a couple of minutes later, then… Then he would be…
The thought of walking in and seeing Basil’s bloody corpse in his bedroom made Polly queasy. She shook the thought off and sat on Basil’s bed with him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Basil repeated the same incoherent apologies over and over. Polly placed her hand on Basil’s shoulder, before pulling him close into a hug.
“Basil… It’s okay, you’re okay… It’s not your fault…” She said softly, in the most comforting voice she could manage.
“But… I tried to… I’m so sorry…” Basil heaved into her chest, tears overflowing and soaking her dress.
“Don’t be. I’m with you. I forgive you. Just… don’t leave us like that.” She whispered, starting to cry too. “Don’t leave us.”
“I… I…”
“Promise me, Basil. Promise me you’ll hold on, no matter what. You can’t leave us.” Her voice was raised.
“But… I don’t deserve this…”
“Would your grandmother want this? What would your friends think?”
“I’m t-taking away a burden… I’m relieving… them…”
“Do you really think they want you dead?”
“They don’t know it, but they do! Their lives… they… would be better without me.”
“We love you. Our lives are made so much better with you. I’m begging you, stay with us. Promise me, Basil.”
“O-okay… I promise. I promise…”