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The first thing Xie Lian noticed was his eye.
Waking up to his husband’s handsome face was a luxury he’d grown used to over their decades of marriage, experiencing it nearly every day. Today, when his eyes finally opened in the morning light, it seemed no different. Hua Cheng was there, gazing at him. He usually woke up earlier and took the time Xie Lian slept in to admire him.
He rubbed his eyes with his fist, smiling tiredly. “Good morning, San Lang…” He yawned out, stretching. When the sleep blurriness had finally left his eyes, he was able to get a better look at Hua Cheng. For the most part, he looked exactly the same as usual. His hair rumpled from sleep, clothed in his favorite red silk sleeping robes. But upon looking closer, something was definitely off.
First, Hua Cheng didn’t immediately greet him. Second, his eye appeared glassy- almost watery. Like there were tears in it.
That immediately worried Xie Lian. The god sat up, cupping his husband’s face between his hands. “San Lang? Are you okay? Is there something you’re upset about?” He asked, scanning over him for anything that could seem wrong.
It took a good minute to get a response, which only worried Xie Lian more. But eventually, in a small, croaky voice that somehow sounded younger than Hua Cheng’s typical speaking style, he finally made a noise.
“Gege…”
“San Lang! You’re really worrying me!” Xie Lian cried, brushing Hua Cheng’s hair from his face. He felt ready to panic. Hua Cheng just leaned into his hand, his nose pressing against his palm.
Ah, it wasn’t only his voice that sounded more childish. Hua Cheng as a whole was acting more like a child desperate for their mother. The notorious ghost king, the bane of the three realms, was whimpering like a babe and burying his nose against his husband’s neck in search of comfort.
Xie Lian found himself almost in tears of his own with anxiety. His husband acted softer when they were alone and out of the public eye, sure- and he did enjoy his cuddling time, but he never acted like this . This wasn’t normal for his San Lang, and it was worrying him sick.
“San Lang, talk to me! Tell me what’s wrong!” Xie Lian took Hua Cheng’s face in his hands again, making him look up at him. That big, dark eye stared right back at him, a mixture of confusion and fear swirling in the iris.
Yes, something was very wrong. Xie Lian’s heart dropped lower, and he sat up.
“Yin Yu!” He called sharply. Within moments, the servant was there, bowing.
“Yes, your highness?” He asked calmly, keeping his eyes downwards. He knew better than to look at Hua Cheng when they were in their chambers. Even if both were clothed, the ghost got quite snippy with him if he dared be too confident.
“Yin Yu-“ Xie Lian’s voice broke, betraying how distraught he was. “San Lang is acting weird. He’s not being himself. I think something’s wrong with him.”
Yin Yu finally raised his head, his curiosity getting the better of him. He was greeted by two teary amber eyes, and one teary black eye.
Ah, that certainly wasn’t normal. Xie Lian was right.
“Your highness,” he began, his voice as steady as it always was. “I regret to inform you, this isn’t the only strange happening this morning.”
Xie Lian’s eyebrows shot up. “What is it?! Intruders? Did they do something to San Lang?”
Yin Yu cleared his throat. “Not… exactly.” He muttered. “I don’t know how to explain it. There seems to be a qi imbalance. Chengzhu seems to be reacting strongly, but he’s not the only one. Even E-Ming is showing a strange reaction. He has been restless since the sun rose, and keeps trying to get out of the armory where Chengzhu left him.”
“Huh?” Xie Lian’s face changed from anger to confusion. “A qi imbalance?” That wasn’t something that he could imagine bothering Hua Cheng. Or even happening to him. “If E-Ming wants to come out, then let him out. He can come to us.”
Yin Yu bowed again. “Yes, I apologize, your highness. I will be looking into this disturbance. Please remain here until the source is pinpointed.”
Xie Lian was tempted to argue that he wasn’t a maiden that needed protecting- he had been a martial god too, he could help with a threat. But two thoughts stopped him. Even in his normal state, Hua Cheng wouldn’t want him to help fight enemies. He was too doting and protective for that. And now, Hua Cheng wasn’t even in his normal state, instead seeming almost regressed. He was suddenly reminded of when Hua Cheng had shrunk.
The door slammed open again, and Xie Lian startled, grasping Hua Cheng tighter. “Who-“ He began, his expression of rage falling when he saw who it was. It was just E-Ming. An unusually angry E-Ming, at that. He seemed only angrier at the sight of Hua Cheng, who was trembling with tears dripping down his cheek.
“San Lang-“ Suddenly, E-Ming hit Hua Cheng over the head with his hilt. “E-Ming! What are you doing?! That was very rude!” He exclaimed, grabbing the scimitar from the air and grasping it so he could look in its eye. “You apologize right now! No baths with me for a week.” Usually that threat would make the scimitar upset, but his resolve didn’t seem to change, just glaring at Hua Cheng.
If he didn’t know better, he’d think that master and weapon had gotten into some kind of fight.
“Gege…” Hua Cheng groaned, only the second thing he’d said all day. “Gege, E-Ming want kissie…”
“San Lang, E-Ming is-…” Finally, it clicked.
Oh no, that wasn’t Hua Cheng. And this wasn’t E-Ming.
He didn’t know how it was possible, but it seemed that the two had switched forms.
~~~
Xie Lian sat in his gilded chair (a matching set that had been a wedding gift from Lang Qianqiu), his hands folded. He evaluated the man and sword sitting before him, one shaking with sadness and the other with anger.
“I assume neither of you know how this happened,” Xie Lian began. Even if Hua Cheng did, he couldn’t exactly tell him in this form. When he saw the tears once again beading in Hua Cheng’s- er, E-Ming’s eye- he quickly adjusted his tone. “I’m not blaming either of you, of course! I’m sorry if I scared you, E-Ming. This isn’t your fault.” He leaned forward, pecking his forehead. The scimitar-bound Hua Cheng’s glare only got sharper. To try to comfort his poor husband, he kissed the handle of the sword too. That did somewhat pacify the ghost turned weapon, the enraged shaking stilling to a small quiver.
The god sighed, sitting back down. “We have to figure this out, though. We need to switch the two of you back.” He was stating the obvious. As much as E-Ming seemed like he’d be happy to be a human from now on, Hua Cheng wasn’t at all happy as a scimitar forced to watch his own weapon cuddle with his husband. “I’m not really sure what to do…” Who could they even ask about this subject? He’d never heard of anything like this happening before. A master switching bodies with their weapon was absurd.
Asking Feng Xin or Mu Qing was out of the question- neither of them would be of help. Shi Qingxuan no longer had interest in involving themselves with godly or ghostly matters after they fell, though they still hang out with Xie Lian and He Xuan. He Xuan… no, that was just a bad idea. Hua Cheng would be upset if he called for He Xuan. Yin Yu? Probably the best bet. He could do research for them.
For the second time, he called for Yin Yu. And ever the loyal servant, he appeared.
“Yes, your highness?”
“Yin Yu, I figured out what happened.” He announced, eyeing the two forms of his husband and E-Ming. “This will sound a bit crazy, but you must believe me, because I don’t know who else to go to about this. Hua Cheng and E-Ming somehow switched forms.”
Yin Yu’s eyes widened, though he showed no other reaction. “I see. I haven’t heard of anything of that sort happening.” He muttered, looking over Hua Cheng and E-Ming himself now. Yes, now that he saw them again, it made sense.
“I need you to do some research on this subject and find out how to switch them back. Figure out what caused it too… that may be the key to switching them back.” Xie Lian stood. “Please contact me when you have found a cause, and hopefully, the solution.”
He picked up the scimitar, the ghost standing up and following him back to their room. Even in the way E-Ming carried himself as Hua Cheng was completely different. He was more hesitant with every step, and shyer, every few moments glancing towards the scimitar in Xie Lian’s hand.
“E-Ming, don’t worry. San Lang won’t hurt you.” Xie Lian stroked the hilt of the sword. “He’s not going to be mean today, I’ll be sure of it. And I do hope he realizes that it’s still his body that he’d be hurting, and he’d be feeling it himself later…”
Arriving back in the room, Xie Lian gingerly placed his scimitar husband onto the bed, sitting on the edge. E-Ming remained standing, rocking back and forth between his heels and his toes and making a small noise.
He clearly was struggling to speak. He had never had the ability before in his life, so he wasn’t quite used to it.
“Gege…” He began, considering his words carefully from what he knew. “Gege, bath?”
Morning baths together is part of their daily routine. Hua Cheng began to shake again, the eye on the scimitar furrowing in anger.
A slight laugh left Xie Lian, no matter how he tried to hide it. “San Lang, what makes you so upset about that? It’s your body.” He said sweetly, picking up the scimitar again. Of course, he didn’t get a response. “E-Ming and I bathe together every morning, you know that. But if it would really make you so upset, you may come along.”
Though they had servants that could help with baths, after 800 years of washing himself, he was no longer comfortable with it. So now, he undressed himself, drawing the hot bath water that seemed to magically appear from an array created by Hua Cheng. Upon seeing E-Ming standing there like he had no idea what to do, he helped him undress as well.
“E-Ming, into the bath.” He helped him get into the large tub, the poor thing looking like he was all gangly arms and legs. While Hua Cheng had perfect control over his tall body, Hua Cheng wasn’t the one inhabiting that body now. And E-Ming wasn’t great with arms and legs in general after spending his entire existence as a limbless sword, much less long ones that were much stronger than they appeared.
He climbed into the bath next, taking the scimitar Hua Cheng with him. He was careful not to cut himself with it, though he was sure Hua Cheng would sooner bend himself in half than let the blade cut his Dianxia’s skin. He sighed, sinking into the water until only the top of his head, starting at the nose, still poked out.
He was racking his brain for anything out of the ordinary that happened yesterday, but he couldn’t think of anything. Everything seemed like it was completely normal. No encounters with vengeful ghosts, nor gods. No new weapons added to the armory that could have caused this. Nothing that seemed like it would make any sense to make his husband and his sword switch bodies.
~~~
A long day of Hua Cheng’s jealousy and E-Ming’s lack of knowledge about the human body followed. It was nearly dinnertime before there was a breakthrough. Xie Lian was in the kitchen, working on making dinner, a clingy Hua Cheng and an even clingier E-Ming sticking close by.
Yin Yu rushed into the kitchen before he could pour his soup into a bowl, clutching some scrolls.
“Your highness! Do not eat that!” He called. “We have figured out what happened with Chengzhu and his blade.”
Xie Lian’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “What is it, Yin Yu? Is there poison in one of the ingredients?” He asked nervously, eyeing what he had used to make the soup as if he expected one of the items to confess.
A strained laugh left Yin Yu. “Well… not exactly. Your cooking was what switched them. And not because of poison… not in the traditional sense, anyway.”
Xie Lian’s eyes flicked over to the pot of bubbling purple soup. He always knew his cooking was bad, but Hua Cheng enjoyed it. Was it really so bad to cause his husband to switch bodies with a sword?
“It seems that the mixture of ingredients, combined with the cooking time, may have caused this.” Yin Yu explained. “It was the only possibility we could pinpoint about yesterday. Chengzhu was the only person to try the soup, not even you had. Therefore, I believe it caused him to switch bodies with E-Ming. It is my hope that if he eats the soup again, he may switch back. Is it the same recipe as you made yesterday?”
There wasn’t exactly a recipe that he followed closely. He used things he thought would taste good together. But it was close enough, so he nodded.
“Perfect. Give Chengzhu- er… E-Ming, for now, a bowl of soup. If he eats it, then we can hope that by tomorrow, they will be switched back.”
Without another moment of hesitation, Xie Lian poured the soup out into the bowl, presenting it to E-Ming along with a spoon. The poor thing loved his gege too much to complain about the smell or taste, so he began to gulp it down under the glaring eye of Hua Cheng. If he didn’t drink it, surely his master would be upset. His stomach churned after finishing the soup, but he didn’t say anything in protest, just setting the empty bowl down.
“As the switch happened when they were asleep, we can assume it’ll happen again that way tonight. Once you have eaten, your highness, please retire to bed. And do not eat that soup.” Yin Yu took his leave again after a bow, closing the door behind himself.
Xie Lian took a deep breath, choosing to just eat an apple now that the soup was out of the question. He hoped that this would work… if not, he didn’t know what he’d do.
~~~
The next morning, Xie Lian awoke to the sound of birds chirping. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding himself greeted with a pale face laying beside his own.
His eyes scanned the face, evaluating it to see who it was. Then, once he found it satisfactory, he smiled.
“San Lang, you’re back…” He whispered.
“Of course I am, gege. And I’m never leaving again.” He leaned in, connecting their lips in a loving kiss.
Hua Cheng kept his promise, as much to E-Ming’s disappointment, they never switched bodies again.