Chapter Text
Haida had expected this would come, he just didn't expect it to be so soon. Ever since leaving Carrier Man he'd had a pit in his stomach, a small one at first, just the normal nerves of quitting without a longterm plan, but it grew. He spent his first weekend off celebrating with Retsuko, treated the rest of the week like a loooooooong overdue vacation, but something kept nagging at the back of his mind, louder and louder. Twelve days, not even two full weeks being unemployed, and Haida had a new theory what it was.
Haida was bored.
He'd started out catching up on some shows, replaying some old games, but ran out of new things to waste time on faster than expected. Spending even more time at home made him realize how grody it had gotten, so he committed to a thorough cleaning, not something he looked forward to but ended up not taking long, and he found satisfying by the time he was done. He still went on his near-nightly outings with Fenneko, at least until his sleep schedule slipped. Then he started hanging out with Shishido, who had fewer reasons to not go drinking at 11 am, but that got depressing real quick, even for Haida. It was at least a good shot of motivation to go hard on his music again , he'd been throwing around the idea of recording an EP in this newfound downtime, but he'd really let his skills slip recently and his fingers hurt too much after a single night of brainstorming to do much else. He spent a good couple days doing retail therapy, which gave him an excuse to finally clean out his closet, make those hard decisions which jackets he didn't need anymore and admit to himself which pants he was just never gonna fit into again. And since he was already tidying up he may as well clean his apartment. Again. Can't scrub your floors too much, right?
A schedule. That's what he needed. He hated going to work but it was undeniably the reason he remembered to shower every day the last five years. He just needed a reason to get out, something to do, and that's when it hit him!
The gym! Himuro had paid up his membership up through the end of the year!
Just the thought of him it and he was feeling better already.
~~~
The next afternoon Haida was in a familiar locker room, but much busier than he'd ever seen it. He'd considered going late, when he'd gone with Himuro, but it seemed better to... Well, thinking about it made Haida feel weird, better to just avoid him. Easy enough to do, he still had the former director's schedule memorized.
Or so he thought. He left the lockers, unfortunately less well dressed than last time, too, the compression shirt Himuro gifted him being a victim of his cleaning spree. The clientele was all pretty rich so it was hard not to be self-conscious and Haida couldn't help blushing a bit, trying hard to keep his eyes off the displays of strength and masculinity around him as he wound his way through the crowd. Haida moved unthinkingly to the pec press, he didn't really know how to structure a workout but he'd been on these machines with Himuro just about every night, it would be as good a place to start as any. He felt a pair of eyes bore into him as he fumbled with the plates, trying to remember what he lifted, before the owner of those eyes spoke up.
"You were up to sixty last I checked. Unless a few weeks is all it takes for you to go soft on me."
Haida looked up to see the beautiful Saluki, his former boss and workout buddy, smirking the smirkiest smirk he'd ever smirked, sitting elegantly on the machine just next to him.
"What, no hello?"
The Hyena sprung bolt upright, ass-kissing ingrained so deep into his psyche it took actual effort not to salute, "Hello Sir Director Himuro Sir! You're looking good today Sir!"
"Oh please, Haida," Himuro stood, closing the gap between them, agonizingly slowly. A hand softly clapped the hyena's shoulder, and all the growing unease in him exploded into butterflies. "I'm not your boss anymore, simply 'Himuro' will be fine."
"I missed you."
"Excuse me?"
"RIghT YES HIMURO IT IS THEN HAHA."
The dog slitted his eyes, turning his soft smile sarcastic and accusatory, but god if it didn't get Haida going. He definitely heard what he just said. He was happy for that, actually, no matter what the immediate layer of sweat and full-body blush he had going on might suggest.
"You um, sure you don't mind me working out next to you? I kind of, thought you'd hate me?"
"I supposed I'd be in my right to," the saluki took his seat back at the adjacent press (which Haida couldn't help but notice was set to a good 10kg higher than their last joint workout), "But what's the use of getting upset over what's done? I'm young, I had backup plans. I'll have to wait til the end of the next quarter but..." he sighed.
It took days of planning and getting yelled at in a karaoke booth to work up the courage to defy him the way he did, but only one sigh to make Haida regret everything. That sort of emotional inconsistency is something he really needed to work on, and he made a note to remind himself forget to talk to someone about it later. For now he needed to do what he could to make it up to the beautiful saluki.
Haida kneeled down again to set the weights (55kg, to be safe), too nervous to make eye contact. "F-for what it matters, I'm.." Haida gulped as he sat on the bench, staring straight ahead, "I'm sorry." He paused, waiting a response. When he didn't hear one he felt the need to continue, to explain himself, "You didn't deserve what we did, you really were a great boss, the best! The methods put me on edge but, it made sense to me, I shoud've... I don't know, we could've figured something out, I never meant to..."
The hyena's head had slowly been drooping as he rambled on until he was staring at his shoes. He really started to struggle trying to remember his rationale, they'd talked about it so much before that day. Words kept spilling out of his mouth, just filling the dead space, buying time, he almost felt tears prick at his eyes when-
"Haida. Look at me." He snapped to attention, eager to follow orders. Again he had to suppress the twitch in his arm to salute, but the ass-kissing auto-response was completely wiped out by shock at seeing Himuro giving him the softest of smiles. "I forgive you."
"Wha-?"
"Conviction like that is something to be valued, Haida. To hold true to one's morals even in the face of such personal risks, that's impressive, and you should be proud of that. The world needs more people like that, even if they'll sometimes clash with people like me."
"S-Sir?"
"Himuro."
"H-Himuro, I... I'm so glad to hear that but I still wanna make it up to you, somehow."
"Oh please," Himuro finally returns to a proper position on the pec press, preparing to start his next set, "It's not like you've ruined me. If you really want this friendship to continue you're going to have to get over that sense of owing me something, Haida."
Friendship.
After a moment to pick his jaw up off the floor Haida followed suit, rhythmlessly pushing against the bars before even getting properly situated, hoping the physical exertion provided reasonable cover for the heat once again rising to his face.
"I just, I could never be this cool about something like this, I don't," he gasped between reps, "I can drop it, if you want, I just need to know," oh shit he realized he hasn't been counting how many reps are you supposed to do in a set again? "How are you so okay with this, you know?"
"I'm a smart man, Haida, I have backup plans." Haida could hardly hear any stress in his voice from the workout, not only was he benching more, it was barely a warmup for him. "I was on several boards before the promotion, and I left them on good terms. After my ejection from Carrier Man you might think they'd be reluctant to rehire me but..." The saluki chuckled. Pure music. "Between you, me, and every speculative investor in Tokyo, Carrier Man isn't going back in the green for a good, long time. Next quarterly and I have hard proof it wasn't my fault, I can go back to any company I choose, and I get to put 'CEO' on my resume."
"Hah, maybe I should say 'you're welcome' then, instead of 'sorry.'" Haida attempted to joke, labored breath stilting the delivery. The long silence that followed said Himuro either didn't hear or mercifully pretended not to.
"I have the savings to go without the job for the next few months and then some, but I'm so used to having a project I'm having trouble keeping myself occupied. This gym is practically my day job these days."
"Oh, fuck dude I get that, I really do," the exertion of Haida's rapid, uncounted exercise was taking a toll on his internal filter. "I've been, bored out of my skull, only reason I came here today. Just didn't, expect to see you, hhahahaaa."
"I heard you'd left, yes." Himuro had again stopped to watch the Hyena, amused how desperate he seemed to have something to do, to avoid eye contact, maybe to show off? "Got out while the getting was good. But I'd think you'd take your freetime as an excuse to see your girl?"
"What girl?"
As soon as the words escaped his lips Haida froze, mid-rep, before shooting forward to bury his face in his hands. The clanging of the weights as they dropped drew the attention of half the gym but Haida was already so eager to curl up and disappear if he even noticed the extra eyes on him they couldn't add to his shame.
"R-RETSUKO! Y-YEAH, MY GIRLFRIEND, WE! We've been! Hanging out! For the, first weekend, she's just, she's been busy and I've been, I haven't been sleeping good and our schedules just, haaa, y-you know?"
In truth, Haida was realizing he hadn't even thought to ask to see Retsuko in weeks. Just going from one internal crisis to another seemed to be the the order of the day. Getting closure, knowing a man he respected deeply, no matter how confused his feelings toward him might be otherwise, beared no ill-will toward him and even wanted to be friends wasn't enough to offset the shame of being the world's worst boyfriend now flooding his thoughts.
"Well that's... Good to hear, Haida." Himuro offered, if a bit confusedly. "If I may be candid I always thought the way you talked about her sounded a bit performative, but I'm happy it's working out. Simply wishful thinking on my part, I suppose."
Haida mumbled into his hands, barely listening, "What's that supposed to mean?"
He hesitated. "That of course it was too good to be true." No response, it was Himuro's turn to struggle to fill the silence, "You're sweet, talented, attractive..." Himuro cleared his throat, a slight hesitance appearing in his voice Haida hadn't heard before, "I thought an upside to my recent, circumstances, would mean it would be less, untoward to, get closer, perhaps..."
Himuro stands abruptly, regaining the assured tone those around him were used to, "But the good ones are always taken, isn't that right? And straight, but that's seems to be more of a problem for me than a problem in general."
He pivots to face the hyena and smiles at his own sad joke, but Haida's face was still buried in his hands. He seemed frozen, realizing he'd misread the hyena's previous intentions Himuro uncharacteristically begins to worry he's overstepped and decides to take a quick leave.
"I think I'll call it an early day. It was good to see you again, Haida, and I hope to again soon. I'm here most days, and you have my contact information, but I'll understand if you'd rather I leave you alone. I meant it when I said I had no hard feelings and that's not going to change. Enjoy the rest of your workout."
He lingers just a moment longer, to see if he gets a response. When he gets none he swiftly strides away.
~~~
Himuro took his time in the lockers, needing to be careful to keep his emotions under control. He was already beating himself up over cutting his workout short but maybe it was for the best, once he started working again he wouldn't have time to maintain the muscle he'd been putting on. Maintenance was easier than building mass, however, so he really should be taking full advantage of this time, he can make up for it on Monday.
But he knew he was just overthinking it to distract himself. He blew it. He hadn't been keeping together as well as he put on since the firing and now the one thing he'd been hoping for waltzed right into his lap and he blew it. Just couldn't wait to test the waters, he got all excited like a little puppy at seeing his crush and threw it all away.
He throws his blazer over his turtleneck. Thin as it was it was a bit hot for the weather, but it was a bona fide look and Himuro was ready to suffer for it. He allows himself another short sigh, a greater showing of emotion than he normally gives but nothing the average gymgoer would notice, and forlornly heads out the door toward his car.
Re-evaluate, that's what you do. An avenue has closed, so you will find a new one. The window to find a relationship is slim, like muscle it will be easy to maintain but much harder to find once you're working again. A matchmaker is out of the question, and online dating has been fruitless before but always good for spreading a larger net. I could try more... salacious apps, but the extra screening hardly feels worth the effort. Of course the smart thing is to give some time to get over Haida but time is something you don't have, and it's your fault for letting yourself get that invested in a bad bet. You can control yourself enough to, to...
Lost in his thoughts and well-practiced in tuning out the sounds of the city around him it was easy not to hear the frantic clopping of tennis shoes sprinting toward him until it was too late.
In an instant Himuro found himself knocked to the ground, lying next to the perpetrator who ran into him, a panting and very sweaty hyena.
"...Haida, wha-"
"I NEED TO SAY THIS BEFORE I CAN REGRET IT SO SHUT UP"
Haida pushed himself off the ground with one hand, the other grabbing his chest as he attempted to catch his breath. Himuro meanwhile brought himself to a full sitting position, instinctively brushing off his sleeves, never taking his eyes off the hyena. A small part of him wanted to be mad, offended at the order, but a bigger part of him wanted to see where this was going, and an even bigger part than that was just happy watch Haida's sweat-soaked gym shirt cling tight to the toned muscles on his back as the hyena heaved before him.
"You're right." Haida got to his knees, "I didn't think about it but you're right, you're always right, I never knew but you said it and I knew it and I never realized but you're right," keeping his eyes to the ground he shuffles on the sidewalk to face Himuro, as if he were begging for forgiveness before a feudal lord. Himuro had to quickly glance to the pedestrians around them, assuring them each with a nod that he was okay so they'd get on with their day.
"I felt a way about you, I didn't, I didn't know what it meant but I've always been happy around you, and it's... It's more than just wanting praise, I wanted to make you happy more than any boss I've ever had." With his breathing mostly under control, the nervousness clearly crept back into Haida's voice, "You're not my boss and I still want to make you happy, I just. I want to keep making you happy, forever. Nothing in return, and I, I still don't, I don't know what that means about me b-but..."
Haida bows even lower, voice lowering to match, "...but i want to be with you, and i think you wanna be around me too..."
Even Himuro needs a moment to take the whole outburst in. As soon as he does, though, he's happy to respond.
Haida, I'd lo-"
"LET ME TAKE YOU OUT FOR COFFEE!"
Haida's suddenly sitting upright, leaning close and staring him in the eye, but as soon as Himuro can respond he says, "Of course Haida, let's-"
"Americano, milk no sugars!"
Himuro was fully at a loss for words. That was his order but... "I usually-"
"Except after a workout! Matcha soy latte, for the protein!"
They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, Himuro taking in how much Haida apparently cared for him, Haida with his fists in front of him beaming at how well he already knew his partner. When Himuro found his voice he replied the only way he thought appropriate.
Caramel macchiato, double-shot espresso?"
Haida's only response? A laugh.
It started as a couple disconnected breaths, building to uproarious guffaws as he hopped forward to pull the saluki into a hug. It was all the confirmation Himuro needed, he got his order right.
More importantly, he got a date.
The revelation tickled him as much as it did Haida, til the two of them were rolling on the sidewalk in each other's arms, practically laughing loud enough to stop traffic. For Haida a lifetime of confusion was paying off, dozens of disparate disconnected feelings falling into place, while Himuro was experiencing a planned victory, but unlike any he'd ever had before because this victory was for him, just for him. Even as their energy depleted, they were both content to lie on the sidewalk in eachother's embrace, in silence, passersby be damned.
For a moment, at least, til Himuro spoke up again.
"You need to change first."