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Kousei stared in disbelief, the sound of the Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso still echoing in his ears. It was the piece they'd played together that one blessed time all those months ago. He feared it may also have been the last. But looking at her now, standing on her own two feet for the first time in ages, it felt like nothing could kill her, not the affliction which she suffered from and not even time itself.
The violin disappeared from her hands then. The snowflakes began to fall from the sky once more. Her hair, once a brilliant blonde, now seemingly as pale as her skin, rested upon her shoulders once more. The sweat dripped from her face as she breathed heavily, the strain visible on her face.
"See?" Kaori said with a shrug and a smile. "Miracles can happen just like that!"
And then she fell like an angel from heaven.
Kousei rushed over to her, barely catching her before her face hit the floor. He held her as she grabbed onto his shirt and placed an ear to his chest, listening to the tempo of his heartbeat. He barely felt the warmth of her body against his hands now. The chill of the snow seemed to bite harder than ever before. Still, she chuckled as she leaned against him.
"You exist inside me, Kousei Arima," she declared. "You like egg sandwiches. You like Moo Moo Brand milk."
Kousei remembered the days they practiced together in the music room at school. Sometimes, they'd go on for so long, he'd practically fainted from starvation. He'd neglected to bring lunch on those days; he was so absorbed in playing. But Kaori was always there to catch him, like he was doing now. She'd slap him across the face, of course, and yell at him for not taking care of himself but, in the end, she'd always hand him an egg sandwich, light on the mayonnaise, and a box of his favorite milk. He never questioned it then, but looking back on it now, it seemed like the kindest gesture in the world.
"What else do you like? What are your favorite insects? What kind of stuff do you collect? What anime shows did you like?"
They were questions that strangers would ask each other upon first meeting, not whatever they were now. Kousei thought briefly on all the mysteries she held, all the innumerable blanks in his knowledge of her. He thought about all the questions he could ask her:
What's your favorite piece to play?
How do you hide your fear so well on stage?
What do you want us to play together if- no, when- you get out of here?
How do you feel about Watari?
How do you feel about me?
"There's so much I don't know. I envy Tsubaki for knowing everything."
She doesn't know everything. Not like you do.
"I want to know so many things about you so-" Kaori began, the words escaping from her first sobs.
Her hands gripped his sleeves harder as if they were her last tether to life, pulling him closer to her than she had ever before and the tears began. He stared at the ground over her shoulder, unsure of what to say or do.
"I'm scared," she sobbed. "I'm so scared."
So am I.
He felt tears of his own begin to well up then. His heart pounded with anxiety as he tried to think of anything, any way, to help her, to save her, but nothing came to mind. There was nothing he could do but hold her and listen.
"Don't leave me all alone!"
I'm a moron. She's ultra-violent. Her personality blows. She leaves the worst impression. But… she's beautiful.
"You're so beautiful in the snow," Kousei responded at last.
A soft chuckle escaped through her sobs then.
"Moron. Where did that come from?" Koari asked, pulling her face from his shirt.
Normally, he'd be embarrassed by the question but her smile, that beautiful smile on her face, wiped all worries from his mind. He placed a hand on her head and gently guided her back to his heart. He smiled.
"Ask me anything," Kousei said. "Anything you want to know about me: embarrassing stories, bad things I've done, my deepest and darkest secrets. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you."
She sniffled.
"You mean anything?" she said with a hint of mischievousness.
Kousei cringed then, wondering what devious questions she would have for him. He was thankful when she gave him an easy one from before.
"What kind of stuff do you collect?"
"Vinyls," he responded. "My mom used to put them on whenever she was looking for inspiration."
"What anime do you like?"
"I really like sports anime."
"You?" she said, laughing. "Really?"
"I know," he said, laughing with her. "A matchstick like me, being into sports stuff like Sayonara, Football."
"What are your favorite insects?"
"Fireflies."
He remembered when they jumped off that bridge into a field of fireflies. That was when he told her that she was his inspiration. "You know, I'm not always going to be around to help you," she'd whispered then. He didn't understand what she'd meant then but, knowing now, he clung onto her tighter.
"Any reason in particular?"
"Because I saw them with you."
He could feel Kaori's smile against his chest. The tears had stopped flowing now, dammed by her curiosity. She looked into his eyes and he into hers, losing himself in the brilliant indigo eyes that never failed to make his heart flutter.
"One last question," she said before sheepishly looking away. "Who- what do you like?"
He tensed up as his heart skipped a beat. A raw pounding started in his head as his cheeks turned crimson red. He looked away for a moment too, leaving a silence only punctuated by occasional breeze sending snowflakes to and fro. When he finally looked back at her, he saw her expectant gaze pierce through him and into his very spirit. He answered without hesitation.
"I like you."
The tears returned to their faces, accompanied by the largest smiles they could muster. She buried her face in his chest once more, the tears of joy soaking through his shirt. He wiped the tears from his eyes as they cried together for all that was, all that is, all that could have been.
The walk down back to her room was silent. The only thing that Kousei noticed was how much heavier she seemed now. Had he tired himself out or was she getting better? He hoped it was the latter. When he placed her back on her bed, he collapsed into his chair in exhaustion. He didn't get a moment's rest before he took a pillow to the face.
"What was that for?" he yelled.
"Jackass! I'm not that heavy!"
"Yes, you are! It's all the caneles you've been eating!"
"You take that back!"
"You eat them all and make me watch while I starve!"
"Oh yeah? Maybe you should buy some more then!"
"You'd just eat those too!"
A smile. A chuckle. Full blown laughter. They laughed as they never had before. At that moment, Kousei knew she was wrong about what she said. Sure, Tsubaki may know more about him on paper, but not like this. No one in the whole wide world knew him like this except for Kaori Miyazono.
A knock on the door.
"Visitor's hours are up," the nurse said.
They exchanged a sad look before Kousei stood. A firm hand gripped his just as he turned to leave. A nervous look appeared on her face as he turned to face her.
"Say, Friend A," Kaori said. "We all need someone to kiss us goodbye."
His heart jumped into his throat.
"What? But that's Watari's jo-"
He didn't have time to think as Kaori's lips smashed themselves onto his. The taste of caneles, the scent of her hair, the feeling of her warm hands on his. He closed his eyes and kissed her back. They held onto each other for dear life as they made up for lost time, before finally breaking apart.
"Go home and practice for me, will you? The competition's in two days! I'll never forgive you if you lose!"
He nodded.
"I'll make sure to reach you."
"I know you will."
They hugged each other tightly. He felt her warmth against his skin. She was alive, he told himself. He'd play the piano non-stop for the rest of his life if that's what it took to keep her that way.
"I'll bring you caneles when you get out of surgery."
"I'll be listening for you, Kousei Arima."
They exchanged smiles before he finally turned to leave. As the nurse shut the door to her room, he caught a glimpse of her smile through the crack.
And then he was gone.
Kaori dropped her smile then and reached for a piece of paper and a pen on her end table. It was from the construction set they bought together so long ago. She spent minutes staring at the blank piece of paper. What is a girl supposed to put in a goodbye letter, after all? At last, she smiled and placed her pen on the paper.
Hey, you!
I mean, Dear Kousei…