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Vye really didn’t know what they were doing here, standing outside of the 212th’s makeshift barracks. They were supposed to be doing the last of the nightly rounds, making sure everything was in place. But here they were, outside of the barracks, just standing there, trying to work up the nerve to go in.
They could hear laughter coming from inside the room, Gregor, Waxer and Boil were probably playing charades again, and no doubt causing too much trouble. They really needed to go in, and get this over with. It wasn’t really that big of a deal. Vye knew they would be accepted by their brothers. They had accepted Sister when she came out, and this would be no different.
But still, thoughts raced through Vye’s head, reminding them of everything that could go wrong. Everything that their brothers could say to disagree with their gender and pronouns. Sure, they had accepted Sister when she came out as trans. But Vye wasn’t coming out as trans. They were coming out as non-binary. And as much as Vye knew for a fact they would be accepted, they couldn’t shake the fear that loomed in their thoughts.
What if it’s different? What if they don’t believe me because I don’t have as much dysphoria? What if they think I’m not as valid because I'm not fully male or female? They could think they/them pronouns are too confusing to use. What would I do? How would I live?
Vye knew these thoughts were ridiculous. These were insane arguments and if the situation were swapped, if someone else was voicing these thoughts to Vye, they would immediately say it’s not true and that it’s totally valid to be non-binary. But the thoughts were unshakeable. Everytime Vye convinced themself it was okay to come out, these thoughts came rushing back in, causing them to close their mouth before they were able to speak the truth.
But here they were, outside of the barracks early, hyping themself to finally come out, once and for all. But Vye was stuck. They couldn’t get themself to open the door and walk in.
“Come on Vye, you can do this.” Vye whispered under their breath. “It’s not that hard. They will still love you. They will still be your brothers, and you their sibling. You can do it.”
Vye took a deep breath before swiping their key and letting the door slide open. Gregor, Waxer and Boil were playing charades, as expected. Longshot and Wooley were watching from the beds, laughing hysterically as Gregor tried, and failed, to imitate what looked like it was supposed to be Rex being held up with the force by General Skywalker. Maybe, or he was just trying to fly, who knew, it could’ve been anything knowing Gregor.
Vye stood there for another moment watching from the doorway before walking into the room and removing their helmet, while moving to sit on the corner of their bed, which was placed in the corner of the room.
“Well hey Vye, you’re back early!” Wooley said in between huffs of laughter as he tried to catch his breath.
“Yeah brother, I thought you had ‘a bunch of things to take care of.’” Boil added without taking his eyes off of Gregor.
Longshot was still trying to catch his breath, but commented “He probably got scared of a noise in the dark. He always seems rather jumpy.”
Vye cringed at hearing the way ‘he’ and ‘his’ rolled off of the tongue of their brother. “Yeah, something like that.” They responded softly. Their comment was ignored though, as Gregor lost his balance and went crashing to the ground. Or maybe he was trying to imitate General Skywalker dropping Rex onto the floor. Kriff, would Vye have killed to see that in person.
The entire room burst into hysterical laughter at the sight of Gregor on the floor, clutching his elbow like he had hurt it.
Well, everyone was laughing but Vye. They were still caught up in their thoughts of whether or not now was a good time to come out or not. Their head felt foggy and their breaths were coming fast. They felt like they might pass out. They wanted to do it now. The laughter was dying down and they could hear it clearly in their head how it would sound, how good it would feel to say it out loud.
Vye opened their mouth to say the words. “...” They instead found that nothing came out. Just a small exhale only heard by their own ears.
The laughter had completely subsided at this point, with their brothers all just finding their breath again. Come on Vye. You got this. Just say it. Go. NOW.
“Hey guys.” Vye said it looking down at their hands. They didn’t want to know who looked up at them. “I’m non-binary.”
A couple seconds went by. Vye took a steadying breath.
“Okay.” That was Longshot.
“Aight.” Wooley.
“Sounds good to me.” Boil.
A hum of agreement. Waxer.
“No problems here.” Gregor.
Vye let out a breath. They hadn’t realized they had stopped breathing.
“So… what, uhh, pronouns should we use for you?” Longshot asked, he always was the most aware of their brothers. Always knew what to say and when.
“Yeah.” Waxer added, “What are you most comfortable with?”
Even with their racing heart and still panicking mind, Vye couldn’t stop the smile that was creeping its way to their lips. They tried to push it down, not wanting to let their brothers know how good it felt that their mind had been wrong about all the horrible things it had been saying.
Vye took another shaky breath. “Uhm, they/them. If you could.”
Vye watched as each of their brothers nodded. They could see the gears turning in each of their heads, trying to wrap their brains around what Vye was saying.
Waxer was the first to speak. “Yeah, okay. I can definitely do that.”
Vye heard hums of agreement from Longshot, Wooley and Boil. Vye looked to Gregor, who was still sitting on the ground.
Gregor turned his head up and stared into Vye’s eyes for a moment before breaking out into a huge grin. “Hell yeah we can do that! Now we have the whole collection!”
Vye gave their brother a questioning look, before glancing around the room at the others, who all looked equally as confused.
“Gregor, what?” Boil asked, possibly the most confused, except for maybe Vye, whose brain was barely comprehending anything at this point.
“Well, yeah!” Gregor continued, looking at Boil. “Now the GAR has hundreds of brothers, all using he/him. And then there’s Sister, using she/her, love her to pieces.” Then Gregor looked back to Vye, once again grinning like an idiot at his very confused Commander. “And now we have you, non-binary and using they/them! The GAR has the whole collection now! Hes, shes, and theys!! This is definitely a win for us!”
Vye stared at Gregor, a blank look on their face. They looked around the room at everyone else, who had all turned to look at Vye, awaiting their reaction.
Vye didn’t know what to think. Everything was rushing through their brain. Every single word that had been spoken in the last couple minutes replayed in their mind like a broken record. Honestly this had gone even better than expected. All of their fears had been wrong, and instead their brothers were pleased with this new information.
Nothing could stop the smile that spread across Vye’s face. They broke out into laughter and were shocked to hear everyone else joining them as well.
“Thank you.” Vye gasped out in between breaths. “It means a lot.”
Longshot was the first to catch his breath. “Of course Vye, you know we will always love you, right? You will always be a part of this family. And I don’t just speak for myself in saying we will all use your pronouns, and will let all of the other troopers know as well.”
“Yeah.” Waxer jumped in. “And if anyone gives you a hard time about it, come straight to us.” He looked to Boil, “We will get it taken care of.” Boil hummed in agreement. Wooley and Longshot nodded as well, surely already hatching plans in their heads for if something ever happened.
Vye grinned again, knowing that anyone who messed with them was surely to end up with at least a few bruises and broken ribs, even if a few protocols were broken in the process.
“Aight troopers.” Vye said, standing up and giving them a look. “I think you have a game of charades to get back to, Gregor’s acting wasn’t nearly good enough to win that round.”
Vye heard a shout of protest from Gregor, but was too busy making their way out of the barracks to truly hear what was said. It was masked by the sound of the other troopers breaking out into hysterical laughter once more.
When Vye put back on their helmet to resume their nightly rounds, it covered a grin that carried the weight of a thousand stars, and nothing would ever be able to take it away.