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He grips her hands a little too tightly, keeping his gaze low and unfocused. Too close. His heart pounds in his chest, his breaths shallow and tight. Gunfire. Flashes of light. Too close.
Elisa, sensing his tension, immediately becomes alarmed.
"Sergiu?"
He does not hear her. His thoughts run wild in his mind, unbridled with sharp distress and fear. Everything becomes muted, distant. Her voice, distant. He laughs humorlessly at the irony.
How long would he have to keep living on the edge, he thinks, constantly gazing at the face of death in the name of survival? What kind of future could he even promise for himself, for her? To starve, or god forbid, make her a widow if he fails to do his duty, does he even have a choice or a say in this at all, he would fail anyway he always did he can't even get out of here he can't-
"Sergiu, love, please."
Sergiu jolts, almost as if he's snapped out of an ugly trance. He looks up and immediately recognizes his beloved now gazing back at him, brows deeply furrowed in worry and a frown settling in her lovely features. She blinks, clearly trying to hold back her tears, while her fingers softly intertwine with his.
If his heart hadn't split itself into two by then, it would've probably been as good as shattered now.
"Please," she whispers, almost pleading. "Come back to me. I'm here, we're here. Home."
It was only years of madness and war that kept him from collapsing in on himself. Instead, he opts to wrap his arms around her and hold her close, his body wracked in sobs as he buries his face in the crook of her neck. She wraps her own in return, gently rubbing circles on his back to ease his pain.
He hadn't noticed his hands were still trembling until he realizes he was still grasping onto her sleeves tightly. "I hurt you, darling. I'm so, so sorry, I- I can't," he gasps out, shaking his head. "I. I don't know how to come back. I lived my life by the gun, my fingers curled against the damn trigger for years, surely I much deserve to die from-"
She shushes him gently. She will not hear another word of this from him.
Not now, or ever.
"Let's try again, love, shall we? It's over," she soothes, "And there's no need to be afraid. You've taught me that, and I remember it well." She slowly pulls away from Sergiu and cups his face firmly, brushing away his tears as she gives him a shaky smile of her own.
"I remember it with all my heart."