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It’s late in the evening and Pearl is really, really tired. She wants nothing more than to head back to her little platform, cuddle up with a definitely still alive Tilly and pretend as if the whole day had just been one big scary dream.
S̴̗͙̮̆̈́c̷̛̙̜õ̷̺̝͠t̵̺̋̿͝t̷͍͉̓̈́ ̷̲̓h̴͈̪͍̕a̴̰͕͖̾̿ẗ̸͕́̕̚e̵̢̱̫̾͛́ş̶̡̔͘ ̶̣͍̝͊͊̀y̸̠͊̎ö̷̫́͗̈́ǔ̸͎͆͘,̴̦͆́̌ ̵͉͗̈̌e̵͉͊v̸̤̪̔̀͝e̷̢̨̺̒͐̕r̸̞̲̟̈͆̽y̷̡̥̦͛̓́o̷̠͑n̴͇̓ê̶͇̹̒ ̶̼̫͚̍́͘h̴̨͈͌͜a̴̜̚ṯ̴̙̚ě̶̯̊s̴̥̿ ̶̤̄ý̴̧͋͜ő̸̲̎͝ư̶̹̲̽̇.̸̗͆ ̵͇̥͒̑͊Y̸̖̺͂ȏ̴̦̖͛̉û̵̙̟̄'̵͖̫̩̈́͗̿r̵̢̈́̚͠e̸͙̺͎͒̅ ̶̫͇͎͌̇͘g̸̠͝o̷̤̝̓ḯ̶̠̯̆͝n̷̙̘̚ͅg̸̬̿̕ ̶̪̆̂͝ͅt̵͍̹̘͆̕o̷͔̜̍͛ ̵̻̯̓̿̀͜d̸̢̛͓̻i̵̼͌̏e̸̹̮͉̿ ̶̙̮̠͌͆͘a̴̝̗̜͗̕ľ̶̞̫l̴̘̺̾͒͑ ̶̦͈̮̊a̶͚͙͓̿̈́l̶̩͠o̶̥̲͠n̶̦͉̈́̓ē̷̦͑ ̵̡̘̳̑a̵͇͚̳͂͠n̶̻̝͌͐d̴̥̺̍ͅ ̸͍͚͉͒n̵͙̎͠o̸͕͛͗̆b̷̼͖̹͌̄͘o̶͎̟̽̅d̷̢̳̿̊͝ͅy̴͙̼̜̍̓͑ ̸̧̻͋͘w̸̖̠͘i̸̫͚̿l̸̪̦̃l̸̠̈́̌ ̶̩̜̣̆d̴̥̭̥̓͋͆o̴̬͕̿ ̴̛̝̟̦͆͝a̸̰̰͂̌n̷̠̺̦̂͐͠y̸͔͐t̵̨͉͑̀h̷̯̣̘̄i̵̮͇̽n̷̢̓̈g̸̪͇̳͑ ̷̝͠ã̴̘̭̏b̵̧͓͈͒̉̿o̵̘̤͓̊u̷̥̅̄̓t̷̺́ ̷̹̒́ǐ̶̠̲t̷̠͕̮͑͠.̴̧̙͒̊ ̴̰͆͌
Pretend.
Yeah.
She could do that.
Pearl smiles. It’s forced but she heard somewhere that if you smile you can trick yourself into actually being happy.
Walking back she jumps a couple times at random, skips once or twice before deeming it too much energy to continue. Really anything to try and get herself to slip. If she felt small she wouldn’t have to deal with all of the emotions. Things could just be a lot simpler. Taking deep breaths and thinking about soft things. Letting her mind wander. Maybe she would eat a bowl of sweet berries as a treat, warm up under soft blankets, cuddle with Tilly, cuddles were nice, she liked hugs...
It might be working a little too well. Pearl shivered, feet stumbling beneath her. Maybe she should have tried to make it back to her base before committing to make herself slip, cause now she didn’t want to walk. She wants someone to carry her home.
The world is too big for her right now. She wants to be held, cradled in someone’s arms while they whisper sweet nothings to her. Things that would be meaningless by the time she’s lucid enough to remember.
Her fingers were a numb white, no amount of rubbing them together would get the digits to warm back up. Frost burn. Serves her right for standing in powdered snow all day.
Still.
She wants nothing more than for someone to hold her hands. Warm them up and plant soft, quick kisses on freezing fingers. For a warm bath to be made for her with lots of bubbles and bath toys thrown in. To change into a soft sleeper and stay cuddled up with someone to sleep the night away. She wants so much more than she is going to get once she makes it back, but it’s fun to imagine.
She makes it back to her base faster than she thought possible. Though that might not be a good thing. Just looking up towards the platform, and consequentially the ladder makes Pearl whimper. But she has to get up. She has too.
...
“I don’t wanna go to bed, I wan’ cuddles!” Pearl whines, to no one in particular, walking around her plate form. “No, wait, I wanna play!” She rummages through a chest, finding nothing particularly interesting there. And she’s not about to travel back down the ladder just to find something to entertain herself with.
“Bu- it can’t be bedtime yet.” She grumbles, going to sit on her bed. She kicks off her shoes with a pout, too tired to change into comfier clothes she lays down on her bed. “Tell me a story?” Pearl hums a bit in thought. “No, dats silly.” She giggles a bit, ignoring the burning behind her eyes.
She’s not about to start crying. Cause what is there to be sad about? She’s go there little tower, a great view of the stars and her caregiver…
Pearl gives a squeak, suddenly taking in how dark and scary it was, pulling the blankets over her head quickly.
“’tary. Dark is very ‘tary!” She giggles despite herself. “’M not really scared, cause you’re gonna protect me.” She turns to lay on her back, staring up at the sky, she can see the edges of the world boarder from here. “Right?”
She rolls over onto her side, wrapping her arms around in a self hug.
“Right. Nigh, nigh.”
~~~
Pearl wakes up with a start. Still small, and still very much alone. Tears form in her eyes as she tries to get her breathing right by herself.
“Shh, moon drop, you otay.” Shakily she wipes her own tears away with her thumb.
If she closes her eyes she can believe that someone is there that cares about her. Someone who whispers to her softly. “You alright l-love, is was just a bad dream moon drop.” If she tries she can actually hear a voice that’s not her own. Which worries her just a little, but she choices to ignore it. She could imagine someone else tucking her up into bed, as she hides under the covers, away from scary dreams and bad thoughts. Imagines someone, pressing a kiss to her forehead, whispering good night to her. Someone who isn't real but she pretends is. She giggles.
Tiny and safe. She’s been tucked up into bed. There’s no complicated emotions, no soulmates to deal with. Nothing bad has happened to her yet. She’s simply a little girl, curled up in her bed, waiting to go back to sleep.