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She unrolled the large sack and stuck her hand in it, taking a big bite of rocks. Her teeth crunched as she chewed on them, staring into the middle distance. How, praytell, was she going to impress Princess Edelgard now? The multicolored tea was considered a parlor trick, not even worthy of Her Highness’ attention.
Constance sighed, eating another handful of rocks. It was all she had to not cry into the bag, shoveling them into her mouth. A parlor trick? Constance von Nuvelle, heiress of the noble Nuvelles, the best and brightest of magic users in the Empire, oh how far you have fallen! To even consider that such a paltry spell would not only be tasteful, but be useful to the esteemed Imperial Princess? The gall!
If she couldn’t do better than that, she was going to be stuck in this foul-smelling rat’s nest for the rest of her life. It was impossible to find a prospective husband when you smell like month-old refuse, and there were no noble men down here. Well, other than Balthus, who was into women far older than her, and Yuri who she wasn’t entirely certain was even straight, himself. She would die alone, the last of the Nuvelles. A once-noble house, forgotten.
She was in the midst of her melancholy when Hapi appeared at the door, knocking lightly. “Hey CoCo I--woah! Girl, are you eating rocks?”
Constance turned her sad gaze to one of the few people she would allow to see her in this state of distress. “Yes. Want some?” she asked. She didn’t even try to hide the sadness in her voice. She didn’t even wipe away the beginning of the tears.
Hapi opened her mouth, then shut it again and looked outside the room before walking in and shutting the door behind her. “Why are you crying? Who hurt you? Was it Sylvain? It was Sylvain, wasn’t it? I’m gonna go light his ass on fire,” Hapi said.
“No,” Constance said. “Not Sylvain.” She took another handful of rocks and ate them, fighting off the tears with sugar and crunch. “What am I, Hapi?”
“Oh. This again,” Hapi said, immediately deflating from her puffed-up posture and walking over, sitting next to Constance. “We do this once every month, CoCo, except this time the sun isn’t out.”
“The truest depths of mine soul hath been laid bare, for I, Constance von Nuvelle, am no better than an insignificant stage magician, performing tricks of whimsy and magic that would do little more than delight children!” Constance said, starting the ‘wallowing-in-sadness’ stage. Hapi had named the obvious stages of grief that Constance went through to better help her diagnose the problem. That’s what friends are for. “I have no place or worth with which to stand in her radiance! She regards me as a flea, as she should, for I am a trifling middling wizardess at best!”
Hapi raised her eyebrows. “Wow. Have you thought about joining the Middelfrank Opera? I think you’d be good at it.”
Constance wiped her nose. “Even you jest at my most vulnerable moment.”
Hapi wanted to sigh but she couldn’t because then there would be other more monster-y problems. Instead she patted Constance’s shoulders. “CoCo, you’re one of the best sorcerers I’ve ever met! Not only are you that, but you own a magical flying horse. You’re the epitome of class, sass, and kickass. What even happened?”
Constance wiped away some more tears, lest they streak her makeup. “I, in my own inept way, decided that I might get back into Her Highness’ good graces if I showed her my spell to make the tea pour and shimmer in rainbow colors. Maybe if I showed her a sampling of my magical research and abilities, she would consider reinstating my house. But when I showed her, she called it… She called it a party trick!” Constance sobbed, entering the ‘wailing-in-despair’ stage.
Hapi watched her, letting her cry and sob before she patted Constance’s back. Constance sometimes just needed a good cry and someone to listen. Everyone did. “There, there. I thought the rainbow tea thing was cool. Honestly, if Edelgard doesn’t appreciate your talents then you’re better off without her. There are other avenues to rebuild your house, CoCo. Or, you could just move on to an even grander magical performance. Or maybe save her life on the battlefield. There’s plenty of routes you can take.”
Constance sniffled again and wiped her nose. Hapi was right, of course. There were few that could hold up to Constance in battle. Maybe that was what she needed to do. She just needed Princess Edelgard to see her in her element. She took another handful of rocks, shoving them in her mouth.
“Okay, I know you’re sad and that’s very important, but we’re gonna sidetrack for a minute. CoCo, those are rocks,” Hapi said. “You’re eating gravel.”
“Yes. They’re delicious. I once again offer them to you,” Constance said, not even looking at her.
“Babe, don’t take this the wrong way, but are your teeth made of steel?”
Constance was shaken out of her sadness for a moment. “I beg your pardon?”
“It doesn’t strike you as a little strange that you're munching on rocks like they’re candy?”
Constance looked down at her bag, then back to Hapi. “They…they are candy?”
“Those are candy?” Hapi asked. “Rocks? From the ground, rocks?”
“Oh!” Constance said, the realization dawning on her. “How inconsiderate of me. I forget that you’ve never been to Enbarr before the fall of my house.” She held up the bag. “Aside from being peerless sorcerers, the Nuvelle are some of the finest chocolatiers in the Empire! Why, once these very delectable stones were able to be found in the cupboards of even the most elite of nobles. Why, it’s even suggested that Emperor Ionius’ first wife Anselma, Goddess bless her soul, would visit our shop in Enbarr in disguise so that she could get her hands on these sweets.”
Hapi listened. “Okay, so they’re chocolate rocks.”
“Something like that. They are chocolate, but the chocolate has been infused with champagne and the outside given a champagne derived candy coating. It’s the champagne that gives the chocolates this brownish color on the outside, and when they are done, they look like pebbles. They even have a crunch to them, while the chocolate inside is soft and decadent. They are House Nuvelle’s secret champagne pebble recipe! Only my house knows how to make them, and since I am the last living member of my house, I alone in the world know how to make them.”
“Oh!” Hapi said, as if the idea had never even occurred to her that they could be anything other than the gravel you could find in the road. “Are they good?”
“Oh yes!” Constance said, once again offering the bag. “I implore you once more, eat some!”
Hapi looked at them and shrugged. “Hey, sure! I always wanted to eat a rock. Now I finally can,” She said and stuck her hand in the bag, taking a small handful. Constance watched eagerly as Hapi popped one in her mouth.
She made a disgusted face for a whole two seconds, then her eyebrows went up in approval, then back down to disgust. “Ugh! Too hard,” She said, passing them over. “I can see the appeal, but they aren’t for me.”
“Of course they’re hard, Hapi! They’re rocks!” Constance said.
“Right. Make them clouds and we’ll talk,” Hapi said, then stood. Constance considered the idea. Clouds? Chocolate clouds? Champagne clouds? She shook her head. An idea to consider later. “I feel much better now, I suppose. Oh, that reminds me. What were you looking for me for?”
“Oh that!” Hapi said. “Yeah, we got some bandits breaking into Abyss. Yuri told me to collect you.”
“And you only remembered just now?” Constance asked, jumping to her feet and stashing her rocks.
“Well, B went on ahead so it’s probably taken care of now,” Hapi said. “Yuri-bird just wanted us for backup.”
“Then let us make him wait no longer! If he desires us, he shall have us!” she said, marching out of the room with her sadness forgotten.
A few weeks went by and Hapi had forgotten about the encounter entirely. It’s not like this was out of the blue from Constance. She was always moody, her mood going from incredibly eager and enthusiastic to haughty and proud to the lowest depths of wallowing in despair constantly. That girl needed medication.
That’s why after those weeks Hapi was taken by surprise when Constance shoved a bag in her face while she was eating.
“CoCo, I’m eating,” Hapi said with her mouth full. Balthus snickered at the other end of the table, leaning back and watching the exchange. Yuri just set his sandwich down, folding his arms.
“Yes! Which is why I decided this was the perfect time to unveil my newest creation! It’s food. Well, it’s a snack.”
“Looks like a bag,” Hapi said. “I don’t eat leather.”
“It’s in the bag, Hapi,” Constance said, taking her seat at the table. Hapi wanted to sigh or groan, but that would have been bad. Instead she took a sharp inhale and opened the bag. Inside were gold colored puffs. No, not gold. They were kinda brownish and the size of a dinner roll with a similar shape. They were also incredibly soft. Hapi took one out. “Okay, what is it?”
“Eat it!” Constance said.
“Umm no? Not until you tell me what it is,” She responded.
“No, this should be enjoyable!” Yuri said. “Eat the mystery food, Hapi. let’s see if you turn blue.”
Constance glared at him and slapped his arm. “She will not! It’s a delightful confection. Do you remember a few weeks ago when you didn’t like my rocks but you said you’d eat a cloud?”
Hapi frowned. “No? Oh wait! You mean when you were sad because Edelgard was mean to you and were eating candy about it? I’d forgotten about it, honestly.”
“Well, I did not forget! You said that you’d rather have champagne-flavored clouds! At first, I tried to mix chocolate into it, but I couldn’t get it to set right. I had to eschew that, but I was able to get the champagne to work. So, I present to you, Coco’s Radiant Champagne Daydream!” she said with all the flourish she could muster. “Essentially a champagne-flavored cloud. Go ahead! As the inspiration for the treat, I give you the right of first taste. Except for the six or seven I ate on the way over here. And all the ones I had to eat during testing.”
“How thoughtful and considerate of you, Constance,” Yuri said.
Balthus just shrugged and reached over for the bag, taking one. “Hell, I’ll try it,” he said.
“Balthus!” Constance said angrily. “You most certainly will not! Not until Hapi has the first!”
“Fine, fine,” Hapi said. “If it will make you happy and let me finish my lunch uninterrupted. I’ll try it.” She put the whole thing into her mouth, and was surprised when it squished down almost exactly like you’d imagine a cloud to do. She chewed it, then made the same disgusted face. “Blech. Not for me. What is that horrible aftertaste?” she said.
“The alcohol, maybe? They are alcoholic. I’m so sorry,” Constance said, crestfallen
“No, Coco, it’s not bad. It’s probably really good! It’s just not my thing,” Hapi said.
“There’s booze in this? Hell yeah, let me try!” Balthus said and shoved his into his mouth as well, not even chewing before he swallowed it. “Not bad? This is good! I mean, I wouldn’t kick it out of bed for a dark ale, but it’s pleasant.”
Constance frowned. “So that’s one no and one yes.”
“Goddess, you two are uncultured rubes,” Yuri said. “I’ll be the tie breaker.” He reached over and took one of the Daydreams, tearing it into small pieces before he put one in his mouth. Then another. Yuri’s face never betrayed what he was thinking. Not even now. Constance waited for the verdict like she was standing on eggshells.
“Well?” She asked.
Yuri cleared his throat. “Before I tell you what I think, what are you going to do with these, Constance?”
“Well…” She began. “I would like to present them to Her Highness as further proof that House Nuvelle should be brought back! But beyond that… I’m not quite sure. I didn’t think that far ahead.”
Yuri leaned back in his chair. “I think you should present these to Edelgard, sure, but I don’t think you should tell her how they're made. I want to make you an offer. If I can get you the kitchen supplies and ingredients, how would you feel about making these and selling them to the students on the surface? I could also probably get them circulated with Anna and some other merchants to rake in some coin for Abyss. You’re sitting on a gold mine, Constance. These are amazing, and I think you could make us all a killing. Enough to improve things down here for sure.”
Constance had stars in her eyes. “You mean it? They’re that good?”
“Have I ever lied to you?” Yuri asked.
“Yes,” Balthus said less than a heartbeat later.
“All the time,” Hapi responded in half as much time.
“Okay, okay. Have I ever lied to you to spare your feelings? Moreover, have I ever lied to you when there was a profit involved?”
Constance swallowed. “There are still tests I have to perform. I don’t know what the shelf life is, and I don’t have the help to make large enough quantities to sell them. There’s a lot of work involved. More than even I, with my prodigious talents, can handle at once.”
“I could help make them,” Balthus said. “I mean, I’m not a bad cook, and I’ve been wanting to break into sweets.”
Yuri smiled. “As for shelf life, we don’t have to worry about that. I think they’ll be eaten so fast, shelf life isn’t something we have to worry about. We can consider that when you have more information, and when we start supplying to merchants.”
Constance nodded as soon as he was done. “I stopped listening at “As for shelf life.” Yes! The Nuvelle confectionary talent is yours to command!”
Yuri smiled. “Excellent. Now can we please finish our lunch?”
“Oh! Of course!” Constance said, sitting with them, and they laughed and talked about their newest business venture. Balthus even suggested Porter clouds. That’d go over well with the more ‘manlier’ nobility and the soldiers.
Pretty soon, they had a business plan drawn up and Yuri was drafting letters at the lunch table. Coco’s Radiant Champagne Daydreams would be on the shelves of the nobility everywhere for years to come.
Constance never did reveal the secret to Edelgard, though.