Chapter Text
It wasn't Baekhyun who wanted to be glared to the death at, nobody really does, he just really wanted to help his friends.
And it wasn't that D.O. didn't like Baekhyun, Baekhyun is very likable, it's just when someone messes around with Kai, D.O. can't bring himself to disregard it.
Also, it's not that Kai asked to be pinned down, he preferred not to be, he was just told by a certain beagle that it would gain D.O.'s attention.
"Hyung, you sure this is gonna work?" Kai squirmed uncomfortably on the couch, watching uneasily as Baekhyun smiled smugly down at him.
"You bet your next batch of fried chicken, Dancing Queen," Baekhyun said with much confidence. "Trust me, I've done this before." Someone snickered knowingly. Out of the corner of his eye, Kai glimpsed two towering figures huddled by a doorway, the shorter one was holding his cellphone at the ready. "Oh my god." Baekhyun sounded exasperated. "You two, quiet down. If you ruin this, I swear..." His threat hung, Chanyeol and Sehun clung silently to it.
Down the hall, Chen whistled.
"Oh, oh, here comes Squishy." Baekhyun scrambled to the edge of the couch. "Get out or stay hidden, you two."
"Yessir." Sehun's lisp was barely a whisper.
"Alright." Baek licked his lips. "Hyah!" And jumped Kai. Kai, who knew what was coming, started at the sudden outburst and shrieked. A loud, badly-suppressed snort escaped the maknae. And then Baekhyun was on top of Kai, smothering his face with careless caresses and kisses that never quite reached his cheeks. Kai did his best not to thrash, because Baekhyun was suffocating him and it was a lot harder than he thought and he found he wasn't actually prepared for this—I mean yes, he had let his imagination fly sky-high before, but that was just with D.O.
"Ahem." The cough was raspy and dripped with more venom than a bucketful of black mambas.
Baekhyun sat up, panting a bit, even a little red in the face.
D.O. stood at the near end of the hallway, posture stiff, lips thin. His usual passive expression was gone, replaced with a poorly-hidden look of smoldering rage. Unease flashed for a millisecond in his eyes. "What are you doing?" He tried his best for something pleasant, but his voice was so deathly calm that it sent a cold jolt traveling down Kai's spine.
Baekhyun's faint smile wavered as he slid off Kai's torso. In a pitch an octave higher than usual, he murmured, "See you 'round," and hastily gave D.O. a two-fingered salute, scampering off with Chanyeol in tow. Sehun stayed expertly out of sight and lingered valiantly to get anything else that might happen on tape.
As soon as Baekhyun was gone, D.O.'s expression softened, but he remained stiff as a log. Kai sat up, running a shaky hand through his hair. He couldn't look D.O. straight in face, much less in the eyes, but he could still feel D.O.'s gaze fixated on him, so intense and focused as to sear a hole right through him.
D.O. crossed his arms and leaned heavily against the wall. He jutted his chin out at Kai. "You didn't seem to like that," he ventured hopefully.
Kai smacked his lips like he had something nasty in his mouth. "I think I almost died." Kai got to his feet and walked to join D.O. by his wall. "Don't be mad, Soo." He gave D.O.'s cheek a small poke and noticed his lower lip quivering. "You know I'd never..." Kai faltered. How was he supposed to explain it was all to get D.O.'s attention without embarrassing himself?
"I'm not mad."
"You're such a bad liar."
D.O. sighed. "I know you did it to make me notice you. I'm not dumb."
"But you're still mad.
D.O. glared daggers. "Next time, I'll decapitate both of you."
"Soo, you can barely reach my head."
D.O. quickly proved Kai wrong by stealing a quick peck with perfect ease.
Kai smiled dumbly. "Just one?"
"Punishment for what just happened." D.O. laughed softly when Kai pouted. "Just kidding, people exchange 80 million microbes when they kiss, I don't want your cooties is all."
Sehun was glad he stayed behind, because the look of astonishment upon Kai's face was absolutely priceless. "Ugh, Soo! Get out of town!"