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English
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Fanfics I Wish Were Canon 3000
Stats:
Published:
2022-06-30
Completed:
2023-11-16
Words:
383
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
4
Kudos:
303
Bookmarks:
16
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2,748

Too much coffee

Summary:

Diana always told Barry to "never drink coffee", which left him confused as she never said why.

So Bruce blames her after he does just that.

Chapter 1

Notes:

I know that Hyperactive Flash isn't actually Barry, it's Wally, but since Barry is the one most associated with the role outside of the comics and some mentions in animated series.

Chapter Text

Bruce was many things—an emotionally constipated hero, a neglectful mentor, sometimes a terribly stupid friend whose advice was questionable—but blind wasn’t one of them.

 

"What even—?" He watched as Superman and Green Lantern struggled to contain the Flash, who seemed to be vibrating with an excessive amount of energy.

 

Frowning, he turned to Diana, hoping she'd explain things, but instead, he blinked again. Diana was sweating.

 

"Diana? Why are you sweating?"

 

Diana winced, knowing exactly what was coming.

 

J'onn groaned somewhere in the background as Aquaman, who was reading the newspaper, glanced up, utterly unimpressed. "She told Barry not to drink coffee."

 

…That doesn’t explain anything.

 

"Then…?"

 

"Barry drank an untouched cup of coffee," Cyborg said casually, fixing the headquarters system again.

 

Realization slowly hit Batman as the speedster zipped around, already disappearing into the teleporter.

 

"... Diana!"

 

Diana awkwardly scratched the back of her neck.

 

 

Flash vibrated faster and faster, causing chaos as villains began popping up in Batman's specially designed prison system. At one point, a guard literally fainted from the sheer number of intruders.

 

Needless to say, when the caffeine finally evaporated from Flash’s system, Batman facepalmed as everyone else looked away.

 

Flash had somehow managed to imprison every supervillain in the world… or freeze them all in ice cubes.

 

"Seriously, Diana," Batman muttered, exasperated.

 

Diana looked away, embarrassed.

 

Chapter 2: OP cheats

Notes:

Do you know something I always find a little ironic about superheroes? The writers make their characters SO OP that they have to find the WEIRDEST ways to nerf them so that everything isn't resolved instantly (or do IT whenever they want so the stories can stay interesting), I mean Supermam is literally the BOSS character of cheating abilities with SO many powers that it shouldn't even be reasonably possible and he's just a NORMAL Kryptonian (which is why I kind of prefer Kon being limited in Young Justice) and despite supposedly being ALSO a cheat, Flash can be defeated by someone TRIPPING him.

No, seriously, the writers keep saying he's faster than that, and can affect this, and I still find it hilarious how he's basically Supes speed, but exaggerated, and yet he's OFTEN left aside by the villains. Green Lantern can also create literally ANYTHING he imagines and Martian Manhunter is scarily CHEATY.

Chapter Text

Batman's eyes twitched. "Diana, I respect you a lot, but you know Flash's personality. The first sign he's told not to do something, his curiosity gets the best of him!"

 

The demigoddess scratched her neck awkwardly while Flash apologized profusely to the scowling hero.

 

J'onn sighed as Victor suddenly blinked. "Speaking of which, why don’t we make the prison more crowded more often? I mean, Flash is literally the fastest thing in the world; this should have been a recurring issue."

 

Aquaman looked thoughtful at this as Green Lantern listened intently to Victor's overly detailed explanation of their OP abilities.

 

Superman stared, utterly baffled. "How come indeed?"

 

Bruce cut in, deadpan, "Because if Barry kept doing that, you'd all be out of a job. If every villain were locked up by Flash’s speed, we'd be out of a job, and Gotham would probably be a quiet ghost town."

 

There was a collective "ah" from the group, as the realization hit.