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It’s not like Jade wanted to leave Los Angeles.
Like other USC film school students fresh out of undergrad, she found herself working odd PA-like jobs for small production companies around LA trying to find her footing in the industry. It wasn’t long until she realized she was an overworked and underpaid glorified gofer, but Jade West was not a quitter and knew everyone had to start somewhere.
She got the hang of it after a few months and really enjoyed having the rare opportunities to listen in on meetings with various producers and directors of the projects she was assigned to. It was no surprise that Jade disliked having to talk to people and network, but she knew what she was getting into when she choose this profession. She eventually worked up the courage to pitch a script idea to a screenwriter/agent friend of a colleague…who ultimately shut it down, calling it a “fluffy student project with little to no substance.”
Out of anger and pure spite, Jade did the only thing she thought she could do to better her skill set as a screenwriter, especially if she wanted to make her mark in this industry. Aside from being a mediocre white man, of course. She immediately applied for graduate school the night after that interaction because nobody tells Jade West that her work has no substance. She was accepted into NYU’s graduate film program for the fall semester the following year and Tori was the first person she told. It's not like there was a choice in that matter. They lived in the same apartment and Tori ran into Jade’s room with a baseball bat thinking there was an intruder when she heard Jade screaming after she received her acceptance letter. Tori threw her a surprise sendoff party the following summer where their whole Hollywood Arts crew was present, both in-person and through video chat for those who couldn’t make it to LA. She and Jade didn’t leave each other’s side the rest of the night, almost if they had the same gut feeling that this would be one of the last times they would be seeing each other for a while.
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When Jade completed grad school a few years later, she hit the ground running. She wasn’t a stranger to script proposal and film festival rejections throughout her time at NYU, but she didn’t know why none of them hit as hard or annoyed her as her first professional rejection all those years ago with her original script. She ended up revisiting it for the first time since before grad school and decided to pour her heart and soul back into that project to give it life again.
Which is why when Jade’s script was picked up, funded, and she was asked to help direct her own film, she couldn’t help but to feel at least a little smug about it. She felt ecstatic and knew she was absolutely lucky, but she worked hard for this. Tori was the first person she told. Their phone call lasted about 30 seconds before Tori was ushered back into the recording studio to finish her album.
Before Jade knew it, production had begun on her film and she was finally doing what she always dreamed of.
The next two years went by in a blur with constant meetings, early call times, late night shoots, post-production, and more meetings. It wasn’t until the invitation came in the mail for her ten year Hollywood Arts class reunion did she realize that it had been almost half a decade since she was last in LA. With how involved and accelerated the NYU graduate film program was, Jade spent the majority of her breaks interning, assisting with other student projects, or getting ahead with expanding her portfolio. She navigated to the website listed on the invitation and hesitated, suddenly feeling shy about seeing people she hadn’t seen in years, but she ultimately RSVP’d. She thought about her responsibilities in New York, especially with her film still being in the middle post-production. But Jade figured she could at least get two days off since she couldn’t even recall the last time she had a real vacation.
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At the reunion, she easily slipped into a familiar comfort with her old Hollywood Arts crew. They hey hadn’t been a complete group in quite a few years at this point just due to how busy everyone was and how spread out all over the world their careers had taken them. Beck had his acting and modeling career, Cat and Tori were both successful recording artists, Andre had become a music producer, and Robbie went on to become a music teacher where Rex was surprisingly well-behaved with the students. But surprising to no one, Jade and Tori ended up being inseparable the entire evening.
For the duration of their senior year at Hollywood Arts, the pair was almost constantly partnered for many, if not all of Sikowitz’s assignments after their forced Nozu date adventure. Jade went from feigned indifference and constant annoyance, to actually looking forward to spending time with Tori. So much so that they ended up having weekly sleepovers at each other’s houses after hanging out with their friends on the weekends. One of them always ended up staying behind after the others left, and it just became a habit for the rest of the school year. Even when Jade went off to college and Tori started her singing career, they made the time to see each other and those who remained in LA from their Hollywood Arts friend group. For Jade’s final two years at USC, she and Tori became roommates because it made more sense financially. At least that’s what they told each other when Tori moved out of her parents' house. Jade knew she fell for Tori somewhere between Yerba and all the late night heart-to-hearts at their sleepovers, but she didn’t dare to ruin what they had. She was still Jade West, of course, so Tori would forever be #1 on the receiving end of her snarky comments. That fact would never change even after she started considering Tori her friend. But she quickly learned that being less of a gank made Tori smile more often, and that was something that she could definitely learn to live with.
It was only after moving to New York did Jade and Tori have trouble keeping in touch with each other with their busy schedules. They stayed in touch through occasional text messages and video chats when there was time, but had been almost five years since Jade was in the same room as the other woman. Though any outsider wouldn’t be able to tell the difference with how their body language flowed with each other: Jade’s hand on Tori’s knee. Tori’s head leaning on Jade’s shoulder. The closeness of their faces when they would laugh about something someone said. It may have been five years, but it sure didn’t feel like it.
The reunion was winding down a little after midnight and Jade couldn’t shake the sad feeling in her chest that it was going to be quite some time again until she felt this kind of closeness to a group of people she actually cared about. Aside from professional acquaintances and the occasional lunch with former classmates from grad school or someone from the film crew, she always put a wall up whenever the opportunity arose to get to know someone better. She never really let anyone get too close. Not that she was actively seeking anything because people are terrible, anyway. But it’s what she wanted, even if it was a little lonely.
Jade made her rounds for goodbyes at the reunion, with each person promising to keep in touch no matter how busy everyone got. She even tossed Sinjin a signature eye roll, but not without the slightest smirk on her face. When she got to Tori, she had to pause and take a moment to look at the woman in front of her. They maintained eye contact for a few beats as if neither wanted to initiate the goodbye. Jade couldn’t help but stare at the same gorgeous smile that made her heart rate spike and those brown eyes that made her absolutely melt. Tori was even more beautiful than what she remembered, and Jade felt like a teenager all over again.
Tori finally put her arms out and motioned with one of her signature “give Tori a squeeze” shoulder shimmies. This hug lasted longer than their hello hug earlier that evening, and Jade took the opportunity to softly inhale the scent of Tori’s perfume and shampoo to hopefully hold her over for another five years.
“I don’t want this night to end,” Tori whispered in Jade’s ear.
Jade tried to calm herself, hoping Tori didn’t feel her heart beating out of her chest. She responded with a quiet, “Me too.”
Tori pulled back to look Jade in the eyes, but still maintained the hug and their closeness. Jade almost forgot how to breathe.
“So, stay,” Tori said softly, and Jade could almost see a gentle pleading in the other woman’s eyes. It didn’t take a lot of convincing, so Jade nodded her head and let Tori take her by the hand back to her car, not caring if their friends saw them leave together.
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“Wine?” asked Tori when they entered her house.
“Better be some of the good stuff, considering…” Jade’s voice tapered off as she eyed the large foyer of Tori’s Beverly Hills home. Tori laughed and pointed Jade to the direction of the guest room before she made her way to the kitchen. Jade dropped off her overnight bag in the room and unceremoniously kicked off her heeled boots and threw on comfortable clothes. She stood on her toes and flexed them to stretch out after being in those shoes for almost 18 hours because she had headed straight to the reunion from the airport earlier that day.
Jade found Tori on one of the living room couches, also clad in comfier clothing. She had placed two glasses and a bottle of wine to share on the table in front of her. One bottle somehow turned to three and they were both lost in each other’s company just like one of their sleepovers, or their late nights at their shared apartment years ago. It was almost like no time had passed from when they saw each other last. The night went on filled with laughter, Jade and Tori making fun of each other’s abysmal dating lives, and just filling one another in about what they had missed from their lives the last five years. Tori’s couch was very large but they ended up gravitating closer to each other as they always did, even if it was just for their knees to touch or their shoulders to brush. Before they knew it, the late night turned into dawn and the sunrise peeked through the curtains. Tori got up to open them more so they could watch the sunrise together and sat back on couch next to Jade who was fake-glaring at her for making the room brighter. Tori called her a big baby and gave Jade a kiss on the cheek before she leaned back to enjoy the sunrise. Jade didn’t know if it was the residual alcohol in her system, her delirium from being awake for over 24 hours, or if it was just the way the sunrise made Tori’s brown eyes glow with an almost golden hue that gave her those butterflies in her stomach, but she couldn’t stop looking at her. Tori turned her head and caught Jade staring, and Jade saw her eyes drift towards her lips. That was enough to give Jade the courage to lean in closer to Tori and captured her lips for a kiss, which Tori reciprocated eagerly. They soon found themselves away from the couch and tangled in the sheets of Tori’s bed later that morning.
Jade knew her flight back to New York was soon. She thankfully already had all her belongs with her because she never actually made it to her hotel last night. She didn’t know why she didn’t just ask if she could stay with Tori considering her kitchen is the size of her entire apartment and that it is much nicer than whatever overused LAX hotel Jade booked.
Tori was still soundly asleep and laying on her stomach but facing Jade, so Jade took this moment to memorize the curve of Tori’s lips, her even breathing, and how their intertwined legs seemed to fit together perfectly.
“I can feel you staring.” Tori broke the silence first. Her eyes were still shut but Jade could see her smiling into her pillow.
A blush made its way onto Jade’s face and she immediately straightened up, propping herself up by leaning back on a pillow. “I can’t help it.”
Tori finally opened her eyes and reached her arm out to lay it across Jade’s bare abdomen, closing the space between them as she rested her head comfortably against Jade’s side. Jade wrapped her other arm behind Tori’s shoulders to pull her in closer, and lazily ran her fingertips up Tori’s back which gave her goosebumps. The two sat in silence, just enjoying each other’s company because neither wanted the moment to end.
Jade heard a muffled, “Please stay,” against her side, and she felt Tori’s tears on her skin which made Jade fight back her own tears as well.
“I can’t.” Jade barely got that out in a whisper.
She could already feel the amount of stress she would be put under once she returned to New York regarding her film. She didn’t want to make an empty promise to Tori when Jade knew how much of herself she loses to her work. Tori knew this about herself and her own work too, as much as she didn’t want to admit it. Tori was just weeks away from embarking on the international leg of her tour so instead of being 2,800 miles away across the country, they would be oceans apart. They both agreed they didn’t want this to be doomed from the start, but maybe one day when the timing was right.
Tori dropped off Jade at the airport later that afternoon where they exchanged one final hug and a tearful kiss goodbye.
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When she returned to New York, Jade poured herself back into her film, hardly even taking a moment to eat, breathe, or sit because she knew if she sat still, all she would think about was Tori. It had been six months since the reunion. Six months since she and Tori last spoke directly. She couldn’t help but be disappointed in herself for never responding to their last text message exchange:
Landed at JFK. Headed back home now.
Is it really home though?
She really couldn’t blame the other woman for not following up with anything after that either.
After finishing her errands for the day, Jade got into her car to head back home to her empty apartment. The radio powered on in the middle of a woman singing a slow pop ballad. She didn’t pay too much attention to it at first because she often just had the radio on for background noise. But after actually paying attention to few lines, she realized that she was listening to a very familiar voice.
I'm all up in my head.
On the edge of the bed, oh.
I swear, I never do this, but.
Won't you stay, stay, stay, stay home?
Jade tried to keep her focus so she could get home safely but she couldn’t get Tori’s words out of her head. She may have broken a few traffic laws, but Jade managed to pull into the parking structure in one piece and sent Tori a text before heading inside her apartment.
I heard your new song on the radio.
After ten minutes of no response, she checked her phone to make sure she sent it to the right person. She was met with the typing bubble appear and disappear for what felt like an eternity.
Oh. What did you think about it?
Jade contemplated how she should respond. She didn’t want to be presumptuous with thinking it was about the last time they saw each other at the reunion, but it was too coincidental. It was Tori. She wore her heart on her sleeve. But she didn’t know Tori’s current dating life and Jade wouldn’t have even known what country she was in without her social media updates. Which by the looks of it, she was back in LA after her tour. Her mind then drifted to their last conversation that morning about why she couldn’t stay. Her film has since wrapped. She could finish up any remaining work pretty much remotely. She could write from anywhere. The LA film industry could have so many new opportunities. So what else was keeping her here in New York?
Jade typed out her response and tapped send, then immediately tossed her phone onto her bed like it suddenly caught fire. She paced along the end of her bed and let out the breath that she had been holding. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself for letting Tori make her feel like a lovesick teenager all over again.
It makes me want to come back home.