Work Text:
General Gorou was well known to prioritize the needs of his men before his own.
On one hand, this had garnered positive reception, both from within his army, and even among the ranks of the rival army under Kujou Sara’s command. The way Gorou handled his army in a method more akin to the simple gesture of making friends had been unconventional for most seasoned generals. Yet Gorou proved it to be just as effective in building camaraderie and fighting spirit. Very few soldiers under his wing lacked the will for battle, and even fewer soldiers disliked being in the general’s presence. Because Gorou prioritized their personal needs by listening to them when they needed it, and he prioritized their enthusiasm over their effectiveness, his soldiers would always be more than willing to give their all in every battle.
Moreover, as if it was second nature, Gorou applied this philosophy to other aspects of his life. When it came to his second job at the Yae Publishing House, for instance, his instincts told him to worry about the incoming writers more than his uneasiness of working there at all. Yes, Yae Miko does (and always would) intimidate him to no end, but he always sought to prioritize his requests above his own discomfort. Naturally, it had led to equally encouraging results of readers writing back to him in thanks for his tips. In many such cases, the situations where Gorou would step in with advice to give, everyone would emerge happy.
And yet, on the other hand, being this compliant and flexible to everyone’s needs had consequently caused Gorou to barely regard his own at all.
Gorou was, for the lack of a better phrase, just enough. He knew this since the day he became a soldier, and his growing exposure to the world had only heightened his belief in this fact. He wasn’t as smart as Kokomi, who studied diligently and knew exactly what had to be done to succeed. Neither was he as bold as Beidou, who was brave enough to not only captain her crew through countless storms, but to intimidate her enemies when needed. He wasn’t as formal or poised as Ayaka, who had to be graceful as the face of the Yashiro Commission, and he certainly wasn’t as cunning as Yae Miko (as much as he hated admitting how sly she truly was).
He never thought of himself as a high superior to his soldiers, nor would he ever pride himself on his battle techniques, often relaying any congratulations to her Excellency Kokomi instead. Despite his experience on the battlefield, leading one victory after another, or his experience of lending a listening ear to his comrades’ trifles and tribulations, Gorou had never once considered those traits to be a part of him worth flaunting or being proud of.
For a long time, he was perfectly fine with this, being in the middle ground for anything in his life. After all, as long as he had just enough of anything, he could spare more for others, right?
He wondered if they managed to escape.
That thought sounds so pessimistic, he thought to himself grimly. It was indeed a shift of his usual mindset, that once bright and determined voice in his head that told him over and over to think positively, think optimistically. To imagine the best outcome of a scuffle, a battle, a verbal dispute, and pray that it comes true as if it was a childish wish on their birthday. Should the situation be so dire that he could not imagine such positivity, he of course would leave his reasoning to the one thing he holds the closest to him; if he’s so adamant to do this for himself, at least do it for his men. Do it for her excellency, to ease her burdens. Do it to help everyone else, if not to help yourself.
And more often or not, it worked. Despite the randomness of being the ‘Ever Victorious Point-Eared General’, it soon proved itself to be true in his daily life. Winning one battle after another, miraculously saving the weakened soldiers that they bring back for treatment, or even just making people feel happier even in the dire living conditions they were in. Gorou had seen them all, and somehow, managed to ameliorate their situations through his kindness, strength and ‘power of luck’ alone.
Seeing how he persuaded himself to work for others, rarely for himself, and throw himself into serving others, and how it always turned out so wonderfully, if not with minor mishaps, Gorou was increasingly convinced that this was the only way he could live. It was all he could offer anyway, right? He could fight, he could defend, he could advise and listen, and devote all of his energy to what anyone else needed him to help with.
He could barely muster the strength to chuckle at the absurdity of this statement. It sounded no different than an attendant or retainer beckoning to their master’s every whim. How ridiculous that this was the lifestyle he had for the entirety of his life.
Perhaps his mind was already bored of the sight before his hazy eyes, having processed it so many times that it would rather contemplate the uselessness of his existence before it fades from the rest of the world. Gorou supposed that it made sense, after all, there really wasn’t much for his eyes to see, anyway.
A wide expanse of rocks and sediments and stone, shaped into drooping spikes aimed at his whole stationary body, waiting for the signal to stab him.
Indeed, nothing unique for him to watch or marvel over. Nothing like the view of his home island in the twilight of sunset, or the view of Seirai Island being overrun by violet clouds of destruction. Not even the descriptions of faraway regions out of his reach, places that he had never seen, were as boring as this.
Nothing was as boring as him waiting for his time to disappear.
Another morbid thought washed over him, possibly to distract his mind in case he truly was about to be stabbed in the new few moments; what if this was some form of karmic retribution for him? Perhaps for the lives he had taken on the battlefield, or for how foolish he had been living? If the former was true, he really had to question why he was only receiving this retribution now, if his men had only escaped the closing crevasse just an hour ago. The latter… Well, it would be a well-deserved punishment. To have the threat of death looming over him, taunting him of a painful way to go, one that would surely imprint itself into the back of his mind in his next body, an ominous reminder of his next life to live to their fullest, without the restraints that Gorou had now.
He heaved a heavy breath, ignoring the sting of pain from his stomach. The wound there has surely gotten worse by now, his healing capabilities rendered useless in easing the tear in tissue. By now, fatigue had won its place in his limbs too, and he could barely lift his hands to heal the scratches on his neck or face. Was the tightening of his lungs a sign of the depleting oxygen in this tight cavern too?
Restraints… His life was rather restrained, wasn’t he? To become a soldier in the army meant to be willing to lose everything you had within a day. To be willing to sever all your ties with anyone and anything in the living world, in the unfortunate circumstance that you’d throw your life away on the next day. Perhaps it was for this reason that Gorou never socialised outside of the personnel of his troops. His relationship with Kokomi remained strictly professional, and though he would engage in casual conversations with his men, it was again all for the sake of raising morale, for the sake of doing his job.
It wasn’t because he was lonely.
Thinking on it now, it would explain his aversion to romance too, wouldn’t it? Even if his natural aversion to women played a hand in it, maybe his fear of his death impacting and inconveniencing his partner was what stopped him from ever finding love, too.
The less morbid thought from earlier returned. Whether his men managed to escape the dangerous cavern before falling rocks could seal it shut from the outside world. The events that led to the situation he was in now, lying on the floor of a cave that was about to collapse from the inside, he could remember them clearly.
They were sent on an assignment to investigate a suspicious stronghold within a cave on a small archipelago on the outskirts of Watatsumi Island, where it was reported to show signs of Fatui trade and service, illegal operations that had been banned from being held on the island ever since the Vision Hunt Decree. Gorou could recall the shiver in Kokomi’s voice as she passed this decree, no doubt still shaken from the massive losses of soldiers they suffered through during the incident, only masking it for now.
Maybe he would meet those soldiers soon. Maybe they would hate him for abandoning them.
Upon their arrival, they were soon met with aggression, the reveal of Fatui officers crowding the cave and storing their dozens of boxes of stolen crystal marrow mined off of Orobashi’s skeleton on Yashiori Island. A fight had broken out, arrows and blades thrown left and right and weakening the bamboo-constructed scaffolding they made to navigate through their robbed goods, but despite their odds, they had emerged victorious.
‘They’... It was him and his soldiers, wasn’t it? No… Was there someone else?
But their victory was short-lived, as the weakened scaffold g proved to be fatal. Its collapsing poles dragging across the cavern walls called for the wrath of falling rocks, morphing into a landslide that became their new enemy. They all scrambled for the exit of the cave, chaos ensuing, shouts and hollers echoing off the porous walls that hurt his ears (he stomached the pain, of course, for the sake of focusing on keeping everyone safe). He remembered watching the scene unfold before him. Soldiers guiding others to the exit, soldiers carrying as much crystal marrow out of the cave, soldiers throwing the Fatui outlaws out of the cave and into the arms of others waiting to arrest them, soldiers carrying the injured out of the cave and to the nearest medical tent… He had to make sure they all escaped, to save them from the impeding rockslides that would surely kill them, or worse, trap them.
As a consequence, he was the last man at the back of the group.
And now, he will be the last man to ever step foot in that cave.
By some mercy of the gods, not like he believed that the Raiden Shogun would look out for him, the collapse only trapped him within the deepest pocket of the cave, with the rest of his men spared to the other side, where it was a clear path to safety. The rockslide had also started the slow, with the only casualty he suffered from being a particularly pointy rock that spiraled into his stomach, giving him his probably-now-infected stomach wound and throwing him to his back, forcing him into a pliant and meek position as the rocks stopped falling… and revealing the spiked ceiling above him.
Hm, perhaps, it wasn’t a merciful act, after all.
Gorou couldn’t bother to care about it by now. Perhaps it was how his mind reminded him of his hopeless situation that made him more annoyed with whatever life he had left in him. Was it going to be the last thing he could think of before he died?
How ridiculous. To think of the people he was throwing his life away for instead of his own lowly life with little indulgence or self-satisfaction… There was nothing about it that wasn’t stupid, or guilty, or foolish… Or humane.
Maybe that was why, then, Gorou thought. The reason for why he thought of his men instead of himself first, was simply because his care and concern had been dispersed to cater them more than to cater himself. It would make sense; he never had to take care of himself so much after all, he was already used to having just enough. Not too much, and not too little.
Sparing his kind words and concern and worry to others without using it to assess his own state… Even until the end when he is on his deathbed.
What a fitting punishment this death would be for someone so foolish, Gorou thought as the cavern wall began to crack.
He wrestled his way out of the soldiers’ grip.
He didn’t know how many of them he had to knock out. He didn’t care.
He could hear someone screaming. Some men are drawing their weapons. He threw his own aside. It was too heavy for him to carry.
The landform before was shaking. The group standing before the entrance staggered at the sound, some scrambling back to a safer place away from the impending cave-in.
His steps hastened. He had to be faster. Faster, faster, faster…!
I have to save him. He can’t die.
Diving headfirst into the shrinking entrance. A net of air currents cocoon his body. Drilling through the rocks and stones and debris that remained from their earlier onslaught.
A tuft of brown hair peeking from behind a huge lone rock on the cavern floor.
Found him .
Speeding to the sleeping figure’s side.
Carrying him in his arms.
A larger cocoon of anemo forming around them.
Hurried footsteps and guiding wind that threw them both out of the cave in.
Gorou wakes up next to someone he didn’t expect to see.