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Siya’s feet pounded along the cobbled streets of Litim, leaving wet stains in their wake. She found an alley hidden between two buildings and darted in.
She threw herself against the wall and gasped for breath, pulled her sketchbook open in a panic. Stained pages! What had been a routine visit to Litim (Jara begging for sweets, Ilia wandering off every so often, and Sara fawning over Niki Harl) had turned nightmare.
Some of the girls, Sara included, had been singing on the corner, a practice Siya often skipped on their trips. She’d been across the street, sketching a hound with its head bent into a water trough, to try and get how the ears fell forward just so.
With a gaze so fixed on that hound’s very, very floppy ears she didn’t notice above her- a bucket of soapy, sudsy water. It had been carelessly dumped by a lazy window washer and dropped on her, soaked her, and everyone stared in shock at the younger twin.
Even Sara.
Siya turned to run away, so she didn’t see Sara take a stutter step, and then chase after her sister.
It was why Siya was surprised, a moment after she’d stopped, to see Sara dart past with her eyes on the ground. The momentum of her run carried her past the alley’s entrance. A small cloud of dust erupted from beneath her feet as she skid to a halt, and followed the wet footprints into the alley. To her sister.
Siya snapped her notebook shut as Sara approached. “Gods, why did you run?!” She wiped across Siya's forehead, pushed away water. “Don’t let it get in your eyes! We need to get back, everyone is worried sick-”
“Get off!” Siya knocked her hands away. “I’m fine! Leave me alone!”
Stung, Sara bristled. “I was trying to help!”
“I don’t need your help.” The words came out like a busted dam before Siya could stop them, and the flood kept going. “Y-you never help! You never pay any attention and you make things worse and—”
“Worse!” Sara’s venom built sharply. “That’s a laugh, when has anything you touched ever turned out any good—”
Siya’s shoulder collided with hers— Sara stumbled back into the alley wall as her twin ran in deeper- to escape.
She would’ve kept going had a screech from an overturned box along her path not taken her attention. She skidded to a halt, dust flying up around her feet, and listened again–
There it was! A desperate cry. She fell to her knees and pulled the box around slowly, even as Sara started to squawk behind her. But even her sister went silent when she turned the box around and inside-
Four tiny kedis kits were in the box, scattered bits of shell around them. They rested in a nest made of straw and leaves and paper, piled together to cradle the little things.
Siya’s eyes widened at the kits, her heart racing. The shells were fragmented around them, but they seemed dry? It was hard to guess how old they were.
Sara jogged up behind her and immediately gasped- “Oh, gosh! Look at them! They’re brand new.”
“Where’s their mom?” Siya’s gaze darted around the alley.
“Probably scared away by our big feet, or getting food or something.”
Panic gripped Siya’s throat- the worst came to her mind. “What if she’s- not coming back?”
“What? Come on, Siya… they’ll be fine.”
“How do you know that?” Siya demanded. “She could be dead, or she could’ve abandoned them. We can’t just leave them, they’re all alone.”
Sara threw her arms up in the air. “You think Mistress will even let you keep them, Siya? Don’t be stupid!”
“Won’t know till we ask.” With a sour frown, she carefully tilted the box over to carry it. Inside, the little kits yiped and whined in protest, but soon settled into peaceful sleep in their nest. She tucked her sketchbook in next to them.
“Siya.” Her twin’s brow bent into a furrow and she crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly too tight, too closed off. Siya bristled at the shift without realizing why. “You really should just leave them. Don’t be selfish-”
“Selfish!” Box of kedis kits in her arms, Siya turned her back on her sister. “Sure, I’m selfish because I hope things go my way for once- for once.” She stormed off then- leaving Sara alone, briefly.
Her lips twisted into a scowl and the growl came unbidden- but she ran after Siya anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Mistress Lori told Siya she had to take responsibility for the kits, she felt ready for it. The babies would be safe in the Shrine, away from the predators of the rough outside and free from the elements. When Lori insisted the Two Toes would not help her, she agreed wholeheartedly. She didn’t need help, she thought- she could care for the keddies on her own.
That was before she learned they needed feeding every three hours.
Two days passed as she struggled. Ducking out of lessons during the day was one thing. It was fun going to see the bundles of joy. But they yelped and mewled for food in the early morning hours, when even the moon had sunk from the sky and the sun was still sleeping. That was something else entirely.
The sky outside the window was mottled with dark clouds, so not even the stars could be seen above. Siya fumbled through getting the kits’ soft food together by soft lamplight, not eager to wake her sister- sleeping peacefully only a few feet away- or anyone else.
“Shh, shh,” she tried to soothe them as they cried out. Their little eyes were open but they couldn’t move very well yet- and couldn’t climb out of the box they were still in, with its smooth sides and soft blanket at the bottom.
She reached a hand in to pick one out- the little green girl with a frill on her back.. “Emi, come on, shh…” she offered the squirming thing a small spoon of the mushy kit food. Emi lapped slowly and stopped quickly, even as Siya urged her to have more. “C’mon—” she muttered. “You’re crying so much ‘cause you’re hungry, so eat.”
Emi lapped once more before going still- sleeping. Well, at least there was that. She tucked the kit back into the box and picked up another- a blue boy with a spiky ridge named Sap. He was much more vocal than his sister, and whined loud and hard in protest- even as he eagerly ate.
“Shh shh, gods! You’re so loud!” she whispered.
Sara rolled over in their big, round bed- one eye half-cracked open, pulled by her hand as she dragged it along her face. “You talking makes it worse,” she moaned.
Ah, just what she didn’t need- Sara making this even harder.
“Just go back to sleep.”
“How can I do that when you’re making more noise than them?” Sara climbed out of bed and joined Siya on the floor, on her knees next to the box. “How’s uh—” She looked between them all, and then the one in Siya’s hand.
As her sister studiously ignored her to focus on the kit in her hands, Sara asked, venturing, “How’s uh… Orin?”
Siya’s glare could’ve spoiled milk. “Really?”
“What?
“I’ve been working on my story for a year now!”
“S-so?!”
“Orin’s the main character of my story, not a kedis!” She would’ve thrown her hands in the air had Sap not been cradled in her palm.
“How- how am I supposed to know that?!”
“There’s only four kits, you can’t remember their names? It’s been two days!”
“Well, tell me this one’s name!” She grabbed another blue one- a boy with a frilly ridge like Emi, sleepy and small in her hands.
“That’s Bustle.”
“Bustle?” Sara squished her face into a frown.
“Don’t start! You didn’t want them, you don’t get to care about their names.”
“I thought you wanted me to learn—”
“That’s not what I—”
“GODS!”
Irma, a spindly girl their age, pulled away the thick curtain attached to the ceiling that provided a bit of privacy to each bed. Sara and Siya had both forgotten they shared their room with four others.
“Just shut UP! If I pass out during morning prayers, I am blaming the BOTH of you!”
“Yeah, tell ‘em, Irm,” Irni, her twin, agreed sleepily from bed.
Siya dipped her head in an apology and nudged Sara along with her elbow. “Just— go on.”
Sara’s brow furrowed, but she nodded and climbed back into their bed. Cowed and red-faced, Siya forced her focus onto the kits as the dreary night dragged on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had thought things were fine. Emi and Bustle were sluggish, sure, but Sap ate so well and was so loud and—
Siya woke up to three silent kits, and the smallest- a spiked green kit she’d named Runt- mewling up at her for breakfast.
The rest of the room moved around her as she sat, still as the keddies in the box, and she didn’t realize she’d forgotten to breathe until her chest burned with the need. Air flowed harshly into her lungs as she gulped in a gasp. Sara, detangling her tight curls on their bed, heard the sound.
“Siya?” Her tone betrayed her worry, and the rest of the room slowed- became Involved. Irma and Irni, on their beds and braiding each other’s hair, stopped. Prit and Pela’s conversation slowed as well- and soon all their eyes landed on Siya’s back.
“Siya?” Sara said again when her twin didn’t respond. “Siya what’s wr—”
Eyes on her skin, crawling over her back, Siya now didn’t forget to breathe- she couldn’t. Another strained gasp and she grabbed the box close to her chest and forced her heavy legs to stand. She felt as dead as the kits- felt like she’d die if she stayed any longer.
She stumbled towards the door and once she broke the threshold she found her legs stronger. “I gotta talk to Mistress-” she managed to wheeze, and she ran-
And didn’t notice Sara as she followed behind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mistress Lori helped her dig the graves. They sank shovels into soft earth and packed it aside. Siya tucked them away in small coffins- old shoe boxes she’d adorned with their names, lined with soft scraps of fabric.
The boxes weren’t very nice, though. She’d found it hard to move her hands, hard to write the names they’d only had for a few days. The words would soon be covered with dirt- their names buried and decaying along with them. “We can’t mark that they’re here?” she asked Lori finally, as they tossed the dirt back in the hole to bury the three little boxes.
“We can’t make headstones,” Lori told her. “And even if we could, we can’t put them up in the garden.”
Siya’s arms felt heavier- she slowed, and watched as Lori pushed in more dirt- she couldn’t see the boxes anymore beneath it all.
“... We’ve got some new annuals to plant,” Lori finally said. “What would you like to put here?”
Siya picked purple flowers to plant atop the graves. She memorized the spot- the flowers- where she stood, the wind, everything she could. If nothing else- she would remember they were there.
But that would only be for so long.
When the hole was filled in, the flowers planted and watered, Lori returned inside. Siya wanted more time- asked her for it- and sat on the garden path for a long while, sketching the flowers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Litim was busy- as it always was on days when the girls visited. The twins arriving from Litriya brought joy to the villagers and pilgrims that wandered Cresce’s holy roads.
As usual, though, Siya didn’t enjoy the crowds and attention.
There wasn’t any singing today, but Siya had once more found somewhere to sit so she could watch people. Her usual fervor was subdued today. This was the first trip since finding the kits.
Two weeks had passed and she’d not lost Runt, which she was grateful for. Still, but wasn’t she heavy-hearted? And heavy-handed, too. Her attention always lingered on the drawing of the flower-marked graves. She’d drawn a few sketches since then, but stopped halfway through each time. She hadn’t had the heart for much else since…
Since…
She sunk into the bench she’d found. She could hear the priestesses gossiping a few feet away. See some pairs giving out blessings, singing, dancing, praying, tending- her eyes blurred out until all she could see were shapes.
It was all the same- they were all the same. Unmarked, unmissed, unremembered.
“Siya?”
A priestess’s voice over her shoulder pulled her attention on instinct, even though she didn’t want it to. “Hm? What?”
“We’re going to be heading out soon- go find Sara.”
And though she didn’t want to find Sara, Siya knew better than to argue this time. She pushed herself to her feet and wandered away. Each step felt heavy- lazy- wearing her heart down with each step.
She found Sara, though, off the main boulevard, at the edge of a small construction zone. She crouched by the rope that lined it off, head bent in concentration.
Siya didn’t hide her approach, though Sara was too engrossed in her task to notice. And at first, Siya didn’t care what she was doing, much less about her own mission.
But then she saw over Sara’s shoulder- saw that she knelt at the edge of freshly poured concrete, a thin stick clutched carefully in her hand.
Sara was finishing up an inscription- in her prettiest writing-
Bustle
Sap
Emi
“... Sara…”
Her sister jumped and caught herself on solid ground. “GAH! Warn me, why doncha?!” she demanded- though the feigned irritation faded quickly, seeing Siya’s face. “Hey uh— Sorry, did I get a name wrong? I hope not, this is kiiiiinda permanent—”
Siya shook her head. “No,” she said, voice tight, head bent “Um— It’s- time to go home.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Sara stood and clouds of dust erupted from her skirt when she brushed herself clean. “Are you—” She hemmed, hawed, for only a second. “Are you okay?”
They walked together and their bodies bent in towards each other as they spoke quietly.
“Yeah,” Siya muttered, and meant it. “I… feel a little better now.”
Sara blinked rapidly. Then, her face bloomed with a gentle smile. “Good.”
Her hand found Siya’s- or Siya’s hand found hers. Neither of them were quite sure who reached out first, but their hands met and joined and they returned home- together.