Work Text:
Mingyu placed the last box above the kitchen island as he heaved a sigh. He didn’t even know what was inside of it, he just made sure to put inside everything the moving truck dropped by his door before it rained. Thank the heavens he checked the weather app earlier or he would’ve just left all his things outside since he was too tired from their dance practice.
He looked at all the boxes surrounding him, some labeled “succulents” in his messy handwriting were by the entrance, some with “decor” were stacked in the middle of the living room, and some were in front of him on the marble countertop, all unlabeled because the truck driver actually rushed him to load all of his boxes within 5 minutes since he was being paid by the hour and Mingyu being Mingyu, only wanted to pay for an hour or two.
As he rips the tape from the box he just brought from his porch, he saw a bright yellow box secured by a glossy yellow ribbon peeking through the cardboard. Ah. He forgot that Seungkwan handed it to him yesterday while he was packing, saying that it was from Jihoon. He really didn’t want to deal with it today but he would have to sooner or later so he might as well just open it now.
With impatient hands, Mingyu untied the ribbon and opened the box to find a yellow envelope taped to a clear jewel case containing a yellow disc- as yellow as the box and the ribbon. Mingyu somehow knew that this had something to do with him and Jihoon’s break up but he found the bright color mocking. It was becoming really annoying.
He figured maybe whatever’s in the envelope could explain why everything was yellow, so he ripped the envelope and opened the piece of paper inside which, now that he’s holding it, realized that it’s a yellow vellum folded in two like those birthday or anniversary greeting cards at the dollar store.
He was impressed, it was neatly folded and the message was handwritten. He doesn’t know why he expected a printed letter from Jihoon, maybe it’s because Jihoon didn’t really care much for putting effort on sentimental things.
Written on the left side of the card in all cursive was:
To Mingyu, who have always been my pillar.
Mingyu didn’t know what to feel. It wasn’t like Jihoon to say such things, he mostly just poured everything in a song so this was new to him. He just proceeded to read what was on the right side.
It’s been a year and my feelings have changed. What happened was inevitable. I remember writing this when Seungkwan asked for a paragraph or two of my point of view either talking about or narrating the person I currently like about 4 years ago. I guess it was for a scrapbook of trainee memories.
And that’s all we are now. A memory.
Here’s what the 17 year old me wrote while I thought of you:
Rewinds and fast forwards were never your thing. Memories that were written were kept as flashbacks but you never dared to repeat a single chapter of it. All your expectations and worries were set aside and you always live in that single moment without thinking or caring of what may come, for you think that the time it takes to think of I wishes and what ifs were seconds and minutes that could never be taken back. It was odd that your book changed when we collaborated. It turned from dusty brown to vibrant yellow, which was soon filled with memories we wrote together that you occasionally rewind, repeat, or read again. You started to think of the future, and told me that seconds and minutes were not wasted for I was there in the fast forwards. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to write in your book and letting me add chapters for the past two years until present. I am honored.
Our collaboration has ended and we are now individual writers once again.
Goodbye, Gyu. May your future collaborations shine brighter than ours did.
Mingyu closed the card and placed it back in the envelope. He was so sure he didn’t love Jihoon like that anymore. Was.
He took the disc from the jewel case and ran outside, forgetting that it’ll rain by this hour. He didn’t really know what box he placed his umbrella into so he sprinted across the lot and to his car, holding the disc right under his shirt to protect it from getting wet.
He was gonna play the disc using his player but again, of course, he didn’t really know where things were.
Mingyu made a mental note to unbox everything later so he could sort it all out. He can’t really sort his mind and feelings right now, he might as well sort something else to distract him from calling Jihoon.
As he pushes the play button, he heard Jihoon speaking with the familiar intro of a song in the background.
Minggoo!
If you’re listening to this, then we got married, huh? Or we got a civil union? Or something happened. All amazing I hope.
I’m pretty sure you know this song. We released this years ago in Your Choice. It sounded amazing with the vocal unit’s voices but of course I’ll be recording this with just my voice.
You first heard of this song when you played with my phone and found a recording of me singing the pre-chorus. I remember you staring at me while you listened to it. I could tell that you really loved how it sounded. Of course it was inspired by you. I thought of it after our anniversary dinner as we walked along the park near your favorite restaurant, and recorded it while you were in the restroom. I really wanted to make it so I made sure to have a recording that I could work on once I get back to the studio. And when I finished it, I promised myself that I’m gonna make the members sing this on our wedding day. Well now that you’ve heard their version of it, here’s mine. For your ears only.
As Mingyu listened to Jihoon singing Same Dream, Same Mind, Same Night, he didn’t know what to feel. He didn’t even know Jihoon thought of them getting married. Jihoon wasn’t as vocal with his feelings as he was so he assumed that Jihoon wasn’t serious with the relationship.
Mingyu fucked up.
God, he fucked up.
He broke up with Jihoon a year ago thinking that they were going nowhere. He mistook the relationship’s stability for going nowhere.
He told Jihoon that the relationship was going nowhere so he wanted to end it.
And Jihoon didn’t complain. He didn’t go against Mingyu’s decision. He just nodded, said “okay, if that’s what you want”, and stared at Mingyu with a sad smile.
And Mingyu left.
He left.