Archive of Our Own ^beta

For Akaashi, it begins at the end of his junior year and the summer before his senior year. Not a single person he knows has even touched their summer assignments, but who could when there were so many exciting things happening in town? These days, Akaashi has been spending time with his friends, going out for fun and he doesn’t want to miss a single thing. He’s never considered himself someone exceptionally social, but something about the air in the summer has him agreeing to everything his friends want to do. 

So when his friends tell him that there’s a big event to watch some fireworks he finds himself surprised at how easily he agrees to tag along. 

 “Hey!” Kuroo exclaims upon bursting into his room. Akaashi is laying in his bed in a cocoon of blankets, scrolling through his phone. “Your mom let me in,” he continues. “I wanted to hang out before going to the field tonight.”

“Field?” Akaashi asks as Kuroo settles down on his rolling chair. “I thought you said it was happening at school.”

“Field at school,” Kuroo amends as he sifts through all the pens on Akaashi’s desk. “It’s supposed to be like, uh, senior sunrise, or something.”

“So it’s a Junior Sunset.” He can hear Kuroo snicker and he scrolls through some comments on the Facebook group for his class. “Where the hell did they even get money for fireworks?”

“I mean I heard Leadership raked in a lot of fundraiser money, so maybe that.” Kuroo grins from the seat and says, “It’s damn exciting, though.”

“Well, I know Oikawa is excited because he was going to watch fireworks with Iwaizumi,” Akaashi adds with a chuckle.. “I’m only excited for fireworks. While you are excited to kiss up to the leadership captain.”

“I do not like Captain Leadership. He’s got a stick up his ass.”

“I never said you liked him. But since you said it first I guess you do.”

“Shut up!” the other exclaims. “Also, why are you underneath blankets, it’s so hot out.”

“I’ve been too lazy to get out of bed.” Akaashi rolls over, his hair fanning out in every direction. “I haven’t even eaten yet.”

“Buddy, it’s already six.”

“I am quite aware. I’ll just get up when Oikawa gets here, okay?”

Kuroo groans. “No, you are going to get up and shower right now because we agreed to leave at seven-thirty. Oikawa is going to get here in ten minutes and I’m pretty sure you would rather have me push you out of bed than him.”

“ True ,” Akaashi heaves as he rolls out of bed heavily. “He’s a menace. You both are, actually.”

Grinning again, Kuroo says, “But you love us, right? Who else is going to drag you out to watch fireworks on a football field? Are we good friends or what?”

“Depends on whether or not you guys ditch me to go flirt with some guys again.” Akaashi doesn’t even blink at the way Kuroo clams up. “And whether or not I have to finish being at a school even alone. Again.” 

“Okay, okay! You’ve made your point pretty clear,” Kuroo replies with an embarrassed smile. Oikawa and I won’t run off. We can even share that Eeyore blanket you have.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Well, I mean, I can’t help it if I’m popular and people want me to hang out with them—”

“Tetsurou.”

“I’m kidding! Oikawa and I will be by your side the whole night.” 

“Liars…” Akaashi grumbles, clutching his drink to himself. It hasn’t even been half an hour since their arrival and Kuroo and Oikawa are already off talking to other people. “The sun hasn’t even set.” 

The football field is littered with groups of students that Akaashi recognizes from his grade, sitting on their own blankets and partaking in their own snacks. It looks like he’s the only one sitting by himself, again, thanks to his two friends being the biggest social butterflies he’s ever known.

He’s not too offended because half of him expects to be left alone at school events anyways. He’s used to Oikawa running off to spend time with his boyfriend and for the past year, Kuroo’s been flirting with their class’s Leadership Captain at every school event they’ve been at. There’s no way he can hold it against them. Usually, he has Sugawara to keep him company at events but he was off overseas on a family vacation. 

He just sits there for some time, sipping on a drink while playing on his phone to pass time. It’s nearly eight-thirty in the evening and the fireworks are supposed to start lighting up the sky at ten. At this point, he’s sure that Oikawa and Kuroo only went this early so that they could go find their love interests for that night. It’s kind of boring for him, but he knows that Kuroo and Oikawa will join him for the fireworks later. Probably. 

“Wow, I thought the stars had come out already but I guess it’s just your eyes.”

Akaashi freezes all movement upon hearing the words and feels confusion seeping through his head. He looks to the side and finds that someone has joined him on his lonely little blanket. The stranger has black and white hair that spikes up and a warm smile framed as he hugs his knees, looking expectant. Akaashi stares at him for a moment longer before raising his eyebrow.

“Are you… talking to me?” he questions, his eyebrows cinching together.

The other boy laughs lightly and says, “Yeah, I am. I don’t see anyone else here with eyes as bright as yours.”

Ironic, Akaashi thinks, because the boy in front of him has eyes of gold that glitter like gemstones themselves. “Is this your way of flirting with me? Because I’m not too sure if it’s working.”

“Oh, come on, give a guy a chance! The pick-up line with stars caught your attention though, right?” He smiles cheekily and Akaashi isn’t really sure if he should laugh or not. “It worked at least a little bit, right?” he asks hopefully with a laugh.

“Well,” Akaashi finally replies after a short beat. “Kind of cheesy, actually.”

“Cheesy doesn’t make it less true!” the boy all but announces. “Your eyes are so bright I practically saw them from across the field. I told my friends and they me to come over here,” he says almost sheepishly, as if he is embarrassed. Akaashi doesn’t understand how someone can possibly think that noticing him from across the field is more embarrassing than having the confidence to spring that bold pick up line on him. 

“You’re sure it’s not because of my Eeyore blanket?” Akaashi asks as he sips his drink. Touching the design, he says, “I think that stands out more than me.”

“Oh, well of course, Eeyore grabbed my attention too. I’ve got a Tigger blanket to match.” The boy grins widely and brandishes the blanket that he’s brought with him and sets it down next to Akaashi’s.

The laugh that comes from Akaashi is subdued and held back, but the other boy’s face seems to light up at the sound. It takes him a couple seconds to compose himself but soon he’s nothing but smiles as he asks the other boy what his name is.

“Bokuto,” he says. “Bokuto Koutarou. And you are?”

“Akaashi Keiji,” he replies with a soft smile. 

Biting his lip awkwardly, Bokuto says, “Well, I’d be really happy if I could grace your evening with my company, Akaashi.”

“As far as I’m concerned,” Akaashi answers, “you are welcome to accompany me and my Eeyore blanket for this whole event.”

“Oh, good,” Bokuto says with a large smile, “I was hoping I would be able to stay.”

They talk for at least an hour about how Bokuto is part of a volleyball club and how Akaashi wants to get into a good pre-medical program so that he can become a doctor after graduating. They discuss how Bokuto wants to go on to be a volleyball coach and that he hates chemistry class but Akaashi is qualified for AP Chemistry next semester. They find out that they’ve both signed up for the same calculus class and they somehow end up getting so close that they’re both sitting on Akaashi’s Eeyore blanket while waiting for fireworks to be launched, Bokuto’s Tigger blanket wrapped around both their shoulders.

“You know,” Bokuto says, “your eyes get brighter when you talk about your dream to be a doctor. Your face practically lights up.”

Akaashi blushes and denies it immediately. “No, it’s probably just the moon you see in them or something. My eyes aren’t that bright.”

“I think the fact that they sparkle in the dark should say something on its own,” Bokuto replies and it’s at that moment that Akaashi realizes that Bokuto is kind of flirting again and that he’s really good at it.

“You’re just saying that,” Akaashi murmurs, but the corners of his mouth can’t seem to come down. “We just met.”

“I guess that’s right, huh?” Bokuto chuckles. “But for what it’s worth, I’d never compliment someone and not mean it.”

Akaashi only smiles at him and says his thanks. That’s when a big speaker comes on and a large booming voice tells all of the students on the field to get ready for the fireworks that are about to start. Bokuto’s face lights up as he looks genuinely excited for the show to begin. 

“You won’t mind if I stay with you during the fireworks, right?” he asks suddenly.

“Of course not—I said you were welcome, after all.” Akaashi smiles at him warmly. He becomes acutely aware that neither Oikawa nor Kuroo came back to him but he’s not sure if that’s because they’ve become occupied or if it’s because the space beside him is occupied by Bokuto. “Besides… I like talking to you. You’re really easy to talk to.”

Bokuto smiles, his eyes lighting up in a way that makes Akaashi think that his compliments are just so ironic, and he says, “I think so too.” 

Akaashi only has a chance to nod before the sky starts blooming with fluorescent colors and thundering loudly. They both stare up at the sky in awe, hypnotized by the colorful display that burns against the black skies. 

“Hey.” Bokuto’s voice sounds again, almost sounding quiet underneath the booms of the fireworks. “Do you think—? Um, would you want to exchange numbers?” 

Akaashi finds himself staring at the other boy, taking in the way Bokuto looks at him with those smoldering gold eyes that he’s only known for a night. Bright colors light up the side of Bokuto’s cheeks in a way that hides his blushing and Akaashi can’t tell if it’s the fireworks pounding in his ears or his heart. He can barely find it in his throat to say his next words.

“I’d like that.” 

For Akaashi, it begins sitting in the dark with a stranger, but perhaps it’s not that strange. They exchange numbers later and Bokuto saves him as Bright Eyes on his phone and Akaashi saves him as Bokuto .

“Ask him out!”

Akaashi is wrapped in a cocoon of blankets again, but with Kuroo and Oikawa, sitting in front of a TV at Kuroo’s house. It’s been a week since he mistook his heartbeat for the sound of fireworks because of that strange, new boy that came and sat down next to him. One week sounds so little to him, but one week is seven days and that just means Akaashi has been texting Bokuto for seven days straight without much break. Bokuto hadn’t wasted much time after their brief meeting and had texted him almost as soon as he had gotten home. 

Bokuto’s good at making conversation even over texts, Akaashi discovers. And it’s supposed to stay a secret, but once Kuroo and Oikawa discover that too, he hasn’t been able to escape their incessant questions and prying. 

Akaashi shoots an exasperated look at Oikawa and replies, “I’m not going to ask him out, okay?  It’s… too soon.”

“Doesn’t he go to our school?” Kuroo asks, shoving a carrot stick into his mouth. “I think you mentioned that in our group chat or something.”

“Yeah, he’s part of the volleyball club.” Akaashi smiles to himself just thinking about the other and his friends don’t seem to miss it at all.

“You totally like him,” Oikawa laughs, throwing a grape at his friend’s head. “Look, Kuroo—he’s already blushing.”

Akaashi immediately retorts, “I am not! And I don’t like him, okay! It’s just… just…”

“A crush?” Kuroo finishes mischievously. “Don’t act like you don’t like him, Akaashi. We’ve been friends since sixth grade—we know when you like someone.”

“Ask him out !” Oikawa says again with excitement. “Haven’t you guys been flirting back and forth? He’s sure to say yes, I know it.”

“ No ,” Akaashi says adamantly. “I doubt he likes me that much.”

Kuroo snickers. “You sure? Every time he texts you, you start grinning,” he says, his eyes and voice filled with accusation.

“Shut up!”

“Wow, you do that exact same blush when your phone lights up too.”

“Stop!” Akaashi almost shouts, nearly dying from the teasing. He’s absolutely sure that his face is hotter than his favorite blanket and he’s absolutely sure that Oikawa and Kuroo notice it. “I hate you guys,” he mumbles, burying his face into the sofa where Oikawa is laughing hysterically.

“Aw, Akaashi is so cute with his little crush.” Kuroo laughs and ruffles Akaashi’s hair.

Swatting his hand away, Akaashi bites out, “Whatever! I’m not asking him out, okay! I-I… I don’t have the guts to.”

“Why not?” Oikawa asks, popping some grapes into his mouth. “If you’ve been flirting back and forth then I don’t see a problem. Ask him out to coffee or something.”

“He doesn’t drink coffee,” Akaashi replies, resting his head in his arms.

Kuroo’s eyes widen and he exclaims, “He doesn’t like coffee and you’re still into him? Remember this moment, Oikawa, Akaashi likes a boy who’s not into coffee.”

“It’s not that big of a deal!” Akaashi says in exasperation. “He’s just–! He’s… different, okay?” His cheeks flush into a paler shade of pink as he smiles inevitably at the thought of Bokuto. “We’re just flirting. And having fun. Nothing serious.”

Oikawa’s mouth drops open in disbelief at Akaashi’s words and he shakes his head. “So you’re telling me that you two have been flirting nonstop back and forth for a week and neither of you have tried to make a move?”

“Well,” Akaashi responds slowly, “he did ask if I wanted to catch a movie…”

“ And ?” Oikawa pressed.

“I told him I was hanging out with you guys today.”

“...Today.”

“Yes.”

“You blew off going on a date with this guy to sit here with us and do nothing.”

“It wasn’t a date.”

Kuroo and Oikawa’s stares are so heavy that Akaashi feels like there’s a hole burning where his hair starts. He starts fidgeting with his fingers as he looks away, pursing his lips and refusing to make eye contact when Oikawa’s voice breaks the silence.

“Give me your phone right now.”

“No!”

“If you’re not going to ask him out then I’m going to do it for you!”

There’s a bit of a scuffle and some wrestling and Akaashi somehow ends up pinned under Kuroo’s hold as Oikawa clutches Akaashi’s phone in his hands, typing away at the keyboard. “If you tell me three good reasons why you don’t want to ask him out,” Oikawa declares, “then I won’t send it. But if you don’t, then I’m hitting send.

“I don’t want to look too eager!” Akaashi grunts out, struggling under Kuroo’s firm grasp. “Won’t it make me look desperate?”

“He asked you to watch a movie first, didn’t he? On the contrary, it’s more like compensation for missing out on his first date.”

“But…”

Oikawa raises his eyebrows, a glimmer of disbelief dancing in his eyes. “Do you even have any other reason? I’m about to score you a date with your crush.”

Akaashi’s gaze shifts away and he stares guiltily at the wall. “No…” he admits begrudgingly.

“Okay, I’m sending it! No turning back now!” The little ping that sounds when the message is sent is accompanied by Oikawa’s overjoyed laughter as he tosses Akaashi his phone back. “You’ll thank me later, I know you will.”

Akaashi sits up under Kuroo and pouts as he takes his phone back into possession and pushes Kuroo off his legs. Huffing through his nose, he reads the text he sent and his stomach does a little double flip.

sorry for missing out on catching a movie with you today… my friends are sorry, i swear! 
to make it up, how about we meet up for a movie and maybe get some food after? just us ;)

Akaashi wants to jump up and strangle Oikawa right then because that winking emoticon seems silly but the incoming text nearly paralyzes him from moving or thinking at all.

sure thing, bright eyes ;) i would love to.

This time his stomach does a double flip three times before settling and judging by his friend’s laughter, he knows that they can see his obnoxious blush.

Their date goes well—so well, it’s like a dream. The movie they watch is a thriller with hints of romance that they aren’t able to pay attention to; not when their arms are brushing so closely. By the end of the movie, Akaashi isn’t really sure what it’s about and neither does Bokuto. They try to make conversation about it as Bokuto drives them away from the theater, but it’s hard to discuss something neither of them really watched. But the mood is brightened when Bokuto offers to drive him to one of his favorite diners for dinner.

They stop at a diner that’s tucked into the corners of the busy downtown area they’re in. It’s slightly run down with flickering neon lights in the front. The rundown and retro decor makes the place feel nearly out of place in the rush of the downtown. The walls are an aged white and the windows aren’t very clear. But there’s a taste of nostalgia that appears in Akaashi’s mouth as Bokuto pulls up. 

“I didn’t know this place was here,” he murmurs softly.

Bokuto chuckles. “Not many people do. But it’s one of my favorite places.”

“Really?” Akaashi asks, his eyes widening as they walk towards the door. The door’s hinges are rusted and it looks as though it has seen much better times, but there’s a wonderful energy that radiates from it.

“It’s also quality food for cheap,” Bokuto adds with a smile. “Which is always nice, you know?” His smile is full of a certain playfulness that Akaashi can’t discern as naughty or nice. But his eyes distract him momentarily and Akaashi can only smile back.

“You’ve gotten my full attention.”

Bokuto laughs and opens the door for the both of them and the interior of the diner is almost as run down as the exterior. There are only a few people in there at the moment and one waitress standing behind the bar-style counter. The diner is worn with age, but there is grace in its cracks and tears.

“Bokuto!” the waitress behind the counter exclaims. “I didn’t know you were coming today! Do you want your normal seat at the counter?”

The younger boy just smiles at her and gestures to Akaashi. “I came with some company today so I’ll be taking the corner booth.”

“Of course, of course,” she says cheerily. “There’s no one here to steal your booth anyways. Get yourself seated; what would you guys like to order?”

Akaashi glanced at Bokuto unsurely. “Any ideas?” he asks.

“Leave it to me,” Bokuto replies with a bright grin. “It’ll be great.” Then turning to the waitress, he calls out, “Two colas and one large order of loaded fries to share please!”

“On the way, honey!”

As they seat themselves, Akaashi sends Bokuto a glance from across the booth curiously. The booths have seats that are filled with rips and tears and all the tables have mismatched napkin holders. “Loaded fries?” he asks. 

“It’s going to be so good!” Bokuto says excitedly. “This place makes the best loaded fries you’ll ever have in your life. I don’t even bring my friends here, so consider yourself special.” He winks.

Akaashi blushes and laughs at him. “I’ve been meaning to ask,” he starts. “Why did you… choose me?”

“Choose you? For what?”

“That night with the fireworks. There were a lot of people you could have given your number to. So why sit next to me that night?”

Bokuto giggles like the answer is obvious. And maybe the answer is obvious to him, but to Akaashi it isn’t. “I told you,” he says, “you’ve got the brightest eyes I’ve ever seen. They just pulled me in. Like a tractor beam.”

It takes a bigger person than Akaashi to not snort at the comparison to a tractor beam. “Am I some kind of UFO?” he asks. “Because if anything, it’s more like you abducted me rather than the other way around.”

“I mean you are kind of like an alien—I’ve never seen anyone like you before.”

“Oh, come on,” Akaashi laughs in a way that sounds like his own breath is gone. “I’m an alien with bright eyes? Is my skin green too?” 

“No,” Bokuto muses, “but it’s pretty.” 

Akaashi feels like he’s laughed all of his breath away when he says, “You think so?”

Bokuto immediately flushes and stammers, “Ah—no! I mean, your skin isn’t pretty, it’s just… Um, that’s not what I gave you my number for! I’m not some shallow guy who only exchanged my numbers because I like your body—that is not the kind of guy I am, okay? I just—oh look, our fries are here!”

He seems more than relieved to change the subject at hand and Akaashi thinks it’s adorable. But he forgets what he’s thinking quickly as soon as the large plate of fries is plunked down in between them. 

“This is massive,” he says quietly, almost deterred by the size of the food. The fries smell fresh and are covered with oozing cheese and sauce and are littered with chunks of meat and caramelized onions. There’s a cooked sunny-side egg right in the center of the delicious chaos and it smells like guilt and regret and Akaashi can’t wait to dig in.

“I told you it would serve as dinner! It’s huge, so we can take our time with it, yeah?”

Akaashi gives him a glance and smiles. “You didn’t do this just so we could spend some extra time together, did you?”

“I would’ve made you stay either way,” Bokuto jokes, starting to pick at the fries himself. “That is, if you agree of course.”

“You act like I would have declined your offer,” Akaashi says as the waitress comes back with their drinks. “I wouldn’t have, by the way,” he adds. “I really like spending time with you.”

“Me too,” Bokuto replies. “It’s very easy to be comfortable around you, bright eyes.”

“You’re flattering me with that nickname, Bokuto,” Akaashi says.

“But it suits you.”

Akaashi only grins at him, picking up a fry piled with toppings and thinking to himself about how ironic it is again. “Not sure what other kids in our grade will think if you call me bright eyes everywhere.”

“Don’t see how it could be a problem.” Bokuto shrugs, a coy grin flitting across his face. “I thought you liked it.”

“I can’t say I don’t.” Akaashi keeps his gaze trained on the food as he continues, “But I don’t know how other kids from our class will feel about it. They might think we’re… dating, or something.”

Bokuto smiles a grin where his eyes smolder as he rests his cheek in his hand. “Would you oppose that? Dating, or something? Because I was hoping that we’d be having more dates after this.”

“I was hoping for that too.”

“So, if we go on lots of dates, we’d be dating wouldn’t we?”

Akaashi looks up at him finally, getting lost in the way Bokuto’s eyes glow with affection. “Yeah, I think that would qualify us for dating. Maybe even boyfriends, if you play your cards right.”

“Good.” Bokuto grins. “Because it sounds like a great plan, if you ask me. Dating, I mean.”

Akaashi smiles at him and licks the salt off his lips. “How long do you think it will take for our class to find out that we’re dating?”

Bokuto’s grin is coy and filled with a certain kind of mischief. “Two weeks,” he says. “How many dates do you think we can go on before they figure it out?”

“Three,” Akaashi says with a small laugh.

They go on two more dates before their entire graduating class knows they’re dating. They go on three more dates after that before they kiss for the first time. And they go on four more after that before Bokuto takes him to dinner to meet his parents. And then the date after that one, they meet Akaashi’s. 

Kuroo makes a comment about how quickly the two of them had become official, but to Akaashi, there’s something very comfortable about Bokuto. Despite being only halfway through the summer, Akaashi reassures Kuroo that Bokuto feels familiar in a way that makes him feel second nature. (And he thinks that Kuroo’s just jealous that the Leadership Captain he’s been pining after hasn’t given him the time of day yet.)

“You know you’re not a good cook, right?”

“I believe that I have potential .”

“...I think you should save your handiwork for the volleyball court.”

“Shh, this will be delicious.”

Akaashi chuckles, sitting on the counter as Bokuto stirs something sizzling in a pan. “You’re burning it.”

“I am not ,” Bokuto retorts with a smile. “It’s going to be great, okay?”

“My parents have been really impressed by you lately, so cooking for them may not be in your best interest,” Akaashi says with another snicker. He raises an eyebrow down at the pan where little pieces of garlic are browning far too quickly. “Bokuto, I’m pretty sure you’re burning it.”

“I’m not!” Bokuto insists, pushing the little pieces around with a spatula. “The recipe said to fry the garlic until it was aromatic and I haven’t smelled anything yet!”

“My kitchen smelled like garlic ten minutes ago—I’m pretty sure you’ve burned it. Bokuto, look, it’s almost black.”

Bokuto stares at the pan in confusion before shrugging. “I’m sure it’ll end up fine. You can never taste the garlic in the sauce anyways.”

Gripping onto the edge of the counter he leans over and places a kiss on Bokuto’s forehead. “You’re cute,” he says with a light giggle. He’s never felt so comfortable with another person before. “But you burned the garlic.”

“I am not!” Bokuto insists anyway, trying to hide the obvious blush on his cheeks. “Whatever, I can add the sauce anyways.”

“And then what?” Akaashi asks. He watches as Bokuto pours some sort of concoction into the pan and listens as it sizzles loudly. “Are you just going to mix it with your burnt garlic?”

“ No .” Bokuto pokes Akaashi’s sides playfully and stirs the mixture around with his spatula. “It’s going to reduce and thicken. It’s not going to burn, okay?”

“You’re lucky my parents are nice enough to let you use the kitchen today. They don’t even let me in the kitchen this often.”

“You don’t even like cooking,” Bokuto scoffs, turning the heat down on the stove. Wrapping his arms around Akaashi’s waist, he pulls him closer and kisses him on the nose. “That’s why I’m here to cook for you.”

“Unfortunately for all of us, you can’t cook,” Akaashi teases once more. The way Bokuto puts him at such ease for him to make fun of him, Akaashi has never experienced this kind of bond with someone before. Oikawa and Kuroo tell him that that’s love, really, and that it’s the only explanation. Akaashi thinks that maybe Bokuto is just kind of perfect. “Want to watch Avatar tonight?”

“The Last Airbender or the one with all the blue people?”

“Airbender,” Akaashi replies, finishing the popsicle. “The TV series, though, not the live action movie.”

Bokuto places his spatula down so that he can pull Akaashi off the counter and into a hug, kissing him against his lips. “You know me so well, bright eyes.” He bites on Akaashi’s bottom lip gently, delighting in the breathy giggle that the other lets out.

Akaashi wraps his arms around Bokuto’s neck and kisses him back in a way that makes his head spin. It’s juvenile, he thinks, the way their mouths sync against each other’s like second nature. They’re so caught up in each other’s arms that they don’t even notice Akaashi’s father coming home with his little sister in tow.

“Look out, dad’s home!” his father yells out. Akaashi and Bokuto jump apart in surprise and Akaashi’s father covers up his little sister’s eyes as he tosses his car keys onto the dining table. “Avert your eyes, Kairi.”

“Dad, please,” Akaashi mutters. 

“Sorry!” the older man says, chuckling. “Hey, Bokuto—how are you?”

Akaashi feels himself burning up at the embarrassment but Bokuto reassures him by putting a hand on his waist. Bokuto has joked before about how funny it was that Akaashi’s parents were so jolly while Akaashi was so mellow all the time. It used to embarrass him, how energetic his parents were, but Bokuto tells him that it just balances out the family and it makes Akaashi feel more secure. 

Funny, how Bokuto could do that so easily.

“I’m good, sir,” Bokuto replied. “Akaashi and I are making you all a surprise dinner.”

“Dinner! Oh, he’s definitely a keeper.” Akaashi’s father grins at him.

“Dad,” Akaashi mutters, feeling embarrassed.

“Don’t you think my son is also a keeper, Bokuto?”

“Dad.”

Bokuto nods with him as Kairi starts laughing. “Oh yes—we’re going to get married and buy a house to raise puppies in.”

Despite Bokuto making Akaashi feel more secure about his family dynamic, he still wants to die. 

“Lots of puppies,” Akaashi agrees begrudgingly after Bokuto looks at him with expectant eyes. “And we’ll open a restaurant.”

“And I will cook,” Bokuto exclaims happily.

“I don’t know about that,” Akaashi says, his eyebrows raised. “How can you cook if you’re not even watching your sauce right now?”

Bokuto turns around with a roll of his eyes. “My sauce is fine, it’s—wait. What?! Where did it go!?” The way Bokuto throws his arms up into the air is almost comical as he grips onto the handle of the pan and turns it over, watching in horror as nothing falls out except for his burnt garlic. “What happened!?”

“If you reduce something too long, it evaporates.”

“…oh.”

“You don’t believe that do you?”

Akaashi stops in the middle of the hallways and looks to Kairi, who is poking her head out of her room to look at him. He shoots her a questioning look and asks, “Believe what?”

“All that talk about the puppies and opening a restaurant and getting married. You can’t believe that’ll really happen.”

For a moment, he feels defensive of Bokuto; protective of the dream he has for the two of them, despite them still being students. “What’s wrong with that?” he asks.

“I have P.E. class with his sister.”

“I didn’t know she was a freshman like you.”

Kairi rolls her eyes. “Okay, well, she says that Bokuto’s never been more infatuated with someone before. And I told her the same goes for you.”

“...And?” he presses. 

“Look—you’ve been dating for nearly two months and you’re practically married. But do you think it’ll last past graduation?”

Akaashi furrows his eyebrows. “Why is that bothering you?”

“Don’t you think about it?” Kairi shoots him a look of disbelief. “You both have to fill out college applications. Your application to that hot shot university is due in like… what—a month?”

“Three weeks,” Akaashi replies.

“ Three weeks . Have you even looked at it since you started dating?”

“Kairi–”

“There’s nothing wrong with dating,” Kairi continues. “But college apps are due this semester and then next semester you’re going to be accepted into some schools, but you still have to ace those AP tests or the schools will drop you. Akaashi, you’re aiming for a pretty prestigious pre-medical program. Do you know how hard those are to get into?”

“Yeah, I do.” Akaashi shuffles his feet uncomfortably. “But Bokuto and I can make it work.” And he thinks that with his whole heart. 

Kairi ruffles her hair and goes back into her room. “Whatever you say,” she mutters.

A week and a half later, Akaashi declines a date with Bokuto for the first time in their relationship to focus on his college applications. It stings in a way he hasn’t felt before.

“Hey, bright eyes.”

“Hi,” Akaashi mumbles into his phone, his eyes drooping.

“Did you send your app in yet?”

Akaashi rubs his eyes as he pulls his blanket over his head, the warmth enveloping him soundly. “Yeah,” he responds. “But this application is just for that pre-med program I want to get into. I also need to fill out other applications for other schools and then the common application too. The essays take forever .”

He hears Bokuto sigh over the phone. “That sounds like a lot of work. How many universities are you applying to?”

“I think six, at least. I need to have a lot of options in case I don’t get into my top school.”

“I’m sure you’ll get into your number one choice.” Bokuto is chuckling. “You’re really smart, bright eyes.”

“What about you?” Akaashi asks. “How many schools are you applying to?”

“Two.”

“Just two?”

“Yeah—I’m not too worried about it.”

“Have you applied yet?”

“No, I still need to get some letters of recommendation from mycoach. If everything goes right I should have all my applications sent in a few months.”

Akaashi lets out a yawn. “That sounds like a solid plan. I still need to make sure I get good grades so schools don’t drop me off their waitlists.” He blinks his eyes, trying to push the sleep away. “And then I have to pass my AP tests…”

“You sound like you’re about to pass out.”

“I might be.” He yawns once again.

Bokuto laughs over the phone . “I can practically hear your eyes falling closed. Go to sleep, bright eyes. Close your eyes and dream of me.”

Akaashi cuddles into his pillow and whispers an okay before falling asleep to the sound of Bokuto’s breathing and soft words.

“Dream of me when you close your eyes.”

“Okay, class. Let’s do something fun.”

Akaashi sighs in relief and rests his head on his desk. It’s only the third day back to school and the workload already seems so heavy. So as soon as his teacher suggests doing something fun, he feels comforted.

“So, I started this little mini project for the senior class this year. Since it is your last year here at this school, the staff and I tried to make it more memorable. We’re going to be writing letters.”

“Letters?” a voice from the back of the classroom asks.

Akaashi looks up as the teacher begins handing out pieces of paper. “Letters.Think of it as letters to your future friends.”

Someone else asks, “Wait, what?”

“I just want you all to write a letter to someone dear to you. Address it to your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, enemy—it doesn’t matter. Just make sure it’s someone from your graduating class.”

As he receives blank pieces of paper in front of him, Akaashi asks, “What is this supposed to accomplish?”

“It can accomplish whatever you want it to accomplish,” his teacher responds as she sits down on a desk. “You can confess or tell anybody whatever you want in these letters.When you’re done writing your letters and sealing them, I’ll take them back and all of the letters will be kept locked in a box. After you all graduate, they will be sorted and handed out on the night of the graduation party. Every single senior is doing this in their literature classes.”

Murmurs scatter across the classroom—some excited, some unenthusiastic and some just uncaring. Akaashi sits in his seat and scratches his head. There are nearly five pieces of paper provided in front of him and he’s not too sure what to write down. Of course, he writes messages to Kuroo and Oikawa respectively. In his letter he thanks them for being such wonderful friends and hopes that Kuroo will pluck up the courage to ask out the guy he likes and that Oikawa and Iwaizumi will last for a long time and that they will stay friends for as long as they can. He writes some letters to some other kids that he knows also and when he’s on his last piece of paper he decides to write to Bokuto.

He writes a lot of things for someone he’s only known for about two and half months. He writes about how he really likes him and loves all his habits and that he’s really cute. And then he writes about how he does sometimes dream about Bokuto at night and he hopes that they have a future together somehow. Besides, it’s the relationships at the beginning of high school that don’t last, right? He and Bokuto started dating before their senior year—surely they’d last beyond that.

Akaashi seals up all his letters and hands them to his teacher. He counts down the minutes to lunch so he can see Bokuto again.

It's four months into the first semester and Akaashi is sitting with Bokuto and his friends at lunch. Bokuto’s arms are curled around his waist as he talks about upcoming tests.

“Did you study for the Calc test?” Bokuto asks.

“Not yet,” Kuroo responds, sipping his water. “If I fail that test then even the final exam won’t be able to bring my grade up.”

Akaashi snorts. “I think you should be studying then. I can let you borrow my notes if you want.”

“Really? That would help so much—thanks, man!”

Oikawa sighs as he rests his head in his palm. “Man, I’m so screwed for the AP Chem final. I was absent for two days and it’s like I missed half of the unit. I hate chemistry, why did I even take it?”

“What teacher do you have?” Akaashi asks.

“Mr. Kanegawa.”

“Oh, that’s probably why—Mr. Kanegawa teaches at the speed of light. I have Ms. Himewara and she teaches content a little slower.”

“ Lucky ,” Oikawa whines. “And on top of that, Iwaizumi’s being a jerk.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, we’re kind of fighting right now.”

There’s a quiet pause at the table because Oikawa and Iwaizumi are never fighting . They were a couple that always seemed to be on the same wave-length and always ready to have each other’s back, so the news of them not being on good terms is shocking to say the least. And for some reason, Bokuto’s arm tightens around Akaashi’s waist.

“Is everything okay?” Kuroo asks after a moment of silence.

“He’s… stressed,” Oikawa explains. “The idiot decided to take four AP classes and he’s already started studying for finals. There’s another month and a half until finals and he keeps making this huge deal out of them! Then after that he’ll have to focus on his college applications. And now all of a sudden he doesn’t have time for me anymore between his studies and his soccer practices. Like, wow I’m so sorry that I can’t fit into your schedule.” There’s a bite to his words as he glares down at his food.

“I’m sure he doesn’t mean it like that,” Kuroo tries to supply. “He probably just wants to do well so that he has a lot of options for the future. We’re all doing that.”

Oikawa frowns as he pokes at his salad. “Yeah, but I’m his boyfriend. We haven’t done anything together in a month and he hasn’t texted me back for the past two weeks. I can barely catch him in the hallways. I feel like things are… I don’t know. It’s like everything is starting to fall apart.”

“Don’t say that,” Akaashi says. “I’m taking three AP classes and Bokuto and I are fine. I practically ignored him for almost a month because I was doing college applications but we’re doing okay.”

“Yeah,” Bokuto agrees. “Finals are a stressful time, especially right now for us. I’m sure that’s all Iwaizumi is worried about.”

“Of course it is…” Oikawa sighs. “I wonder if he even sees me in his future anymore.”

The bell rings and they all separate their own ways for class. But while walking to their calculus class together, Akaashi holds Bokuto’s hand tightly, almost afraid.

“You think that might happen to us?” 

Akaashi blinks up at Bokuto, whose forehead is furrowed in concentration. It looks funny, since he holds his book bag strap with his head. But Akaashi notices that he seems a bit serious. “What? What’s going on with Oikawa and Iwaizumi? I don’t think so… I mean, we’ll be fine.

Bokuto blinks, then smiles and then kisses his cheek. “Of course we will. I’ll always be able to talk to you, bright eyes.”

“Me too.” Akaashi smiles and hopes that neither of them are lying.

“What are you studying?”

Bokuto’s voice is clear over the video call although his image is a little pixelated and lags a bit. Akaashi smiles at him as he sits at the desk in his room, his pencil pausing over his paper. “AP Government.”

“Oh, boo, you took AP Government? That sounds so hard.”

“It is.”

“Then why’d you take it?”

“More college credits,” Akaashi answers simply, scrawling something else down on his notes.

Bokuto laughs over the video call and Akaashi minimizes the video screen so that he can research something quickly on his laptop. He feels a little bad—he and Bokuto are supposed to do something together that night but with a week left until finals, Akaashi ends up declining. Instead, they settle for a video call instead. But they don’t speak much because on both sides of the camera, they’re studying. The both of them are scrawling down notes and flipping through pages of their textbooks and while it doesn’t really count as a study date, it must count as something.

“Did you get your letters of recommendation yet?” Akaashi asks him, his eyes trained on his paper.

“Yeah, my application is due in January, so I have plenty of time.”

Akaashi chuckles as he opens the video camera again and sees Bokuto fiddling with his camera. “January is less than a month away.”

“Yeah, it'll be fine,” Bokuto reassures. “And then my second application is due in February. I’ve got lots of time.”

“Lucky,” Akaashi mutters. “I had three apps due in November which was such a hassle because I also had a bunch of projects to do for school. And then I still have two applications left. One’s due in December and one is due in January.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have applied to so many schools.”

“I just want my options open. Nothing wrong with lots of options.”

“You’re the smartest person I know. You won’t even need all those options because you’re going to get into wherever you want! Besides, you shouldn’t stress too much.

Akaashi smiles briefly but refocuses on his notes. “Bokuto, I’m fine.”

“Kaashi, you told me the other day that you’ve been going to sleep at two in the morning consecutively for days. That’s not fine.”

Akaashi pauses and looks up from his papers. Bokuto actually looks really concerned and his eyes burn brightly even through the screen of Akaashi’s laptop. Akaashi puts his pencil down and says, “Bokuto, don’t worry, okay? Once finals are over my sleep schedule will be back on track.”

“Are you sure? You said you still have applications to do. You’re going to be doing those over the holiday season.”

“Bokuto, it’s okay.” Akaashi furrows his brow. “You don’t need to worry too much.”

Bokuto sighs and replies, “Okay, fine. Whatever you say. I’m going to sleep, okay?”

“Okay. Night then.” Akaashi blows a kiss to the camera and Bokuto laughs before turning off his camera.

It’s only when the clock hits 1:13 AM that Akaashi realizes that he and Bokuto haven’t actually kissed for two weeks.

“How did your finals go?” Akaashi asks. He’s at Bokuto’s house after the last day of finals. It’s officially winter break and he can’t think of any other way to start it than with Bokuto.

Bokuto stretches across his bed and lets out a strangled groan. “They were so tiring. You?”

“Exhausting.” Akaashi flops down next to him and kisses his nose. “But they’re over now and we’ve got the rest of December to hang out.”

“Plus a little bit of January,” Bokuto adds with a coy smile, kissing him on the mouth gently. “We can spend this entire winter break together. So what do you want to do first?”

“Want to order a pizza?”

“Only if we get to eat it outside on the balcony.”

“Bokuto, it’s snowing.”

But they end up with two large combination pizzas for themselves as they sit out on Bokuto’s balcony bundled up in thick quilts and warm socks and flannel pajama pants that are wrapped around their necks like scarves. Bokuto’s younger sister sneaks to steal a couple pieces but they eat most of it together.

It’s kind of magical for some reason. There’s fresh snow blanketed on the ground and on the balcony railings and even though they’re swaddled in thick cloth, it’s still chilly but the hot pizza in their stomachs and bright stars against the black skies make up for it. They’re so busy eating that they don’t talk much and if they do talk, they talk about school. Akaashi doesn’t realize how bland the conversation topic is until he mulls over it later, but now it’s just easy talking.

Once they’re done eating, they head inside and pass out on top of Bokuto’s bed. They wake up in the morning, covered in quilts and with a heater warming their feet near the end of the bed. 

For some reason, Akaashi feels guilty that their time together was spent eating pizza and talking about school as if there was nothing to talk about. He thinks that there might be a space that’s been cast between them, but he ignores it. 

And from the way Bokuto grins at him, he’s ignoring it too. 

“Come over.”

Akaashi chuckles over the phone. “What?”

“Come on over, Kaashi.” Bokuto’s phone is wedged between his shoulder and his ear as he’s stirring something on the stove. “I’m cooking.”

“Again? Not sure if I should go.”

“I swear I can cook, I swear ,” Bokuto promises but he’s startled when he pours something into his pan and it starts sizzling loudly. It’s only a week and a half until Christmas and it feels like they haven’t spoken to each other since after their finals.

“Uh, I don’t know if that sound is exactly reassuring me of your cooking skills, babe,” Akaashi giggles. “And besides I have to e-mail my application by tomorrow.”

“Bring your laptop over and work on it here. E-mail it tonight and we can feast tonight. My parents are out of town and my sister is sleeping over at her friend’s house.”

“It sounds like you’re bribing me.”

Bokuto grins so wide, he thinks maybe Akaashi can see it from here. “It’s only a bribe if you take it.”

“Then… I’ll see you in a bit.” 

So Akaashi comes over with his laptop and sits at the kitchen counter while watching Bokuto cook. They don’t talk much because more than half the time, Akaashi is typing away furiously at his laptop, trying to finish essays and more.

And it is at that moment that Bokuto starts realizing that their relationship might be slowing down. They’re so busy with their own agendas for the future, they barely have time for each other in the midst of all the stress and studying. And even when they do have time for each other, they don’t seem to talk much.

It has to be a phase, Bokuto thinks. Nothing more than a phase. After all, it’s winter break. Most phases end during breaks. That’s what he’s heard, at least. 

He wants to say something to Akaashi but Akaashi is so focused on his laptop that he doesn’t have the heart to. Bokuto thinks to himself that he wants to find a way to relieve the stress that’s been slowly seeping into the two of them. 

“Hey,” he whispers as he wraps his arm around Akaashi’s back. “Why don’t you take a break?” He plants a few kisses onto his neck before trailing up to his jaw. Akaashi mutters something that’s hard to hear, but it ceases once Bokuto starts snaking his hands down Akaashi’s sides.

“I’m almost done,” Akaashi whispers as Bokuto starts kissing him on the lips. “Wait a few minutes.”

“That’s fine,” Bokuto murmurs between their kisses.

It’s not like he and Akaashi haven’t been intimate before. He would even say that they know each other pretty closely. But they’ve never been so close before and waiting for Akaashi to conclude his application feels like torture as he waits. 

But the second Akaashi hits submit, he’s suddenly hot against Bokuto’s body and the two of them stumble awkwardly together as they try to navigate each other’s hands. It’s awkward because it’s their first time, Bokuto hopes, and not because it’s been so long since they’ve actually been intimate.

Despite that, their first night together is awkward. Exhausting, hot and exhilarating—but awkward.

It’s only the next morning that Akaashi discovers that his application hadn’t been submitted at all. There’s some sort of error, but he doesn’t look over the page long enough to figure out if it’s because of wi-fi or something else. He should have been more focused, he thinks, he shouldn’t have gotten so distracted. He would have had time to figure out how to get his submission in if he hadn’t been so preoccupied.

Bokuto does his best to comfort him, but he knows that the both of them are devastated.

The next time they’re disappointed comes sooner than they both would have liked. Akaashi is with Kuroo and Oikawa, trying to sort out his feelings. His friends are doing their best to give their input but Akaashi still doesn’t really know what to do.

The day before, Akaashi had texted Bokuto asking him when he’s free for a date. But Bokuto doesn’t respond until the next morning, saying that he’s busy until next semester. He says things like he’s busy preparing for New Year’s and looking for a job but Akaashi thinks it sounds like an excuse.

“I know I shouldn’t feel like crap, but is it wrong for me to feel neglected?” he asks, frowning.

Kuroo purses his lips. “I don’t know. I feel like maybe he should have told you that he wasn’t going to be free for the rest of winter break. It seems like something he should have informed you of.”

“But in his defense, you were basically ignoring him when you were doing all of your college applications,” Oikawa points out. “Maybe he feels like this is fair.”

Akaashi shakes his head. “Bokuto isn’t that spiteful. At least I think he isn’t. He can’t be—he’s been nothing but an angel for our whole relationship.”

“Maybe it’s a side of him you’ve never encountered before,” Kuroo suggests.

“We’ve been dating for six months, I think I would have seen it by now.”

Oikawa shrugs, his eyes bitter as he looks at the floor. “I don’t know—I didn’t find a couple sides of Iwaizumi until a year after we started dating.”

“Like what?” Akaashi asks hesitantly.

“Like how he won’t have time for me if he’s doing something more important. And how he’ll forget to make it up like he promised. And how things started slipping away the more and more we don’t talk about it.” Oikawa bites back a sigh.

Kuroo blinks and continues, “So did you and Iwaizumi ever go through something like Akaashi and Bokuto are?”

Oikawa looks up at them. “You mean that phase where you two don’t talk because you’re busy? And everything starts sounding like an excuse? Yeah. We did.”

“How did you fix it?”

Oikawa’s eyes darken and he says, “The lack of communication took a toll on our relationship. It took a big toll. We started getting into more fights afterwards because we didn’t know what was going on in each other’s lives so we said some crappy stuff to each other.”

“So… how did you get out of that?”

Oikawa bites back a sound in his throat and forces out, “We didn’t. We broke up last week.”

The news comes as a shock—no, it’s more than a shock to Akaashi and Kuroo. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were the epitome of a perfect couple, always together, always knew what the other person wanted. They were always in love with each other. To learn that they broke up is worse than shock. It’s almost like it’s a nightmare.

“ What? ”

“Yeah,” Oikawa sniffs. “I guess we just couldn’t get through it. We didn’t have time for each other, we didn’t know what was going on in each other’s lives. So we said so nasty stuff to each other. I guess recently we figured it wouldn’t be healthy to try and stay in a relationship when it wasn’t working out.” His eyes are starting to get misty. “I really wish we could have figured it out.”

Akaashi and Kuroo envelop him in a warm hug and do their best to comfort him. Oikawa doesn’t cry but he rests in their embrace nonetheless. They talk about random nothings after that—just things to pass the time and keep the conversation light.

But Akaashi is kind of worried in his own head because he’s hoping that’s not what he and Bokuto are going through. 

“What’s on your mind, bright eyes?”

“Nothing much. Just tired. What about you?”

Bokuto looks tired on the screen, his head buried into his pillow. They’re video calling each other at midnight on their phones and Akaashi feels dead tired but he wants to talk to Bokuto. They hadn’t spoken for a week. His eyes are closed though as he listens to Bokuto’s voice through his earbuds.

“I need to submit my application tomorrow,” he says groggily. “I was running around this week trying to get my transcript because I had forgotten it before winter break.”

Akaashi mumbles back, “Maybe you shouldn’t have forgotten then.”

“I was busy thinking about you,” Bokuto says tiredly. “Maybe if I spent more time thinking about myself I wouldn’t have forgotten. Oh well, not much I can do now.”

Akaashi’s eyes open as he sits up. He suddenly doesn’t feel that tired anymore. He looks into his phone, the video call as clear as day. Bokuto’s eyes are half opened, staring at the ceiling. “What did you say?”

Bokuto looks into the camera and at Akaashi. “What?”

“Are you saying it’s my fault you didn’t remember your transcript?”

“Oh my go– no, that’s not what I said.” Bokuto rolls his eyes. “Look, it has nothing to do with you, okay?”

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, you just said if you weren’t thinking of me all the time you would have remembered.”

“Akaashi–”

Akaashi glares at him. “Did I hear you incorrectly?”

“Akaashi, I don’t want to do this right now, it’s nearly one in the morning. Can we save this for tomorrow?”

“Bokuto, we haven’t spoken in a week.”

“I know,” Bokuto retorts sharply, his eyebrows furrowing. Akaashi knows that face. It’s the face he makes when he’s about to sulk. “That’s why I don’t want to fight right now. And since I won’t be able to see you physically until next semester starts, all we have are calls.”

“Why don’t I come visit you then?” Akaashi asks, trying to change the topic into something lighter.

“Even if you came over, I can’t promise I’ll have time for you. I’m busy with college apps.”

Akaashi frowns. “Do you even want me over?”

Bokuto sniffs and flops into his pillow. “You know what, I’m going to sleep. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Fine. Talk to you later,” Akaashi sighs. 

“Dream of me.”

“Sure.”

Akaashi smiles as Bokuto kisses his neck. They’re sitting on his couch, watching some random movie playing on television. They’re not really paying attention to the screen, opting instead to touch and kiss each other. It feels like they haven’t seen each other in a long time so this time together feels so nice. Akaashi had slept over the night before and now their morning together felt so peaceful, he wanted it to last forever. 

“Bokuto, stop, that tickles!” he says, swatting at his boyfriend. But Bokuto ignores him, still kissing at his neck. “Aren’t you tired from yesterday?”

“No,” Bokuto whines, latching onto Akaashi’s body like a koala. “School starts up again tomorrow and I feel like we won’t have as much time together.”

“Sure we will, we eat lunch together every day,” Akaashi points out.

Bokuto sighs. “I’m going to be helping the coach during lunch a couple days a week for extra credit. I won’t be around at lunch all the time anymore.”

“What do you need extra credit for? I thought your grades were fine.”

“Yeah, but not as good as I would have liked. It’s only because I didn’t do well on our calculus final. I just don’t want colleges rejecting me because of my final grades.”

Akaashi can understand that. “Me too,” he replies. “I really need to study for AP Chemistry or I won’t be able to get into the university I applied to.”

Bokuto laughs to himself as he sits up. “I still don’t get why you’re torturing yourself with AP Chemistry. That stuff is torture to learn.”

“Not when you’re going into bio-chem.” Akaashi sighs as he plays with his hands. “I’m still so nervous about getting accepted.”

“I’m sure you’ll get accepted wherever you apply,” Bokuto reassures him. “Where are you hoping to go?”

Akaashi bites his bottom lip. “To the United Kingdom.”

The way Bokuto’s body tenses makes Akaashi nervous. “The United Kingdom?” he asks. “Where did you apply?”

“Oxford,” Akaashi says in a quiet voice. “Chances are slim that I will get in but… I have my fingers crossed. What about you?”

“The university I applied to is two hours away,” Bokuto says, his voice quiet as he stares at the coffee table in front of them. “I thought it would be easier that way, you know? To stay in contact and everything. But I… I guess that wasn’t on your mind.” 

Akaashi sighs, “Bokuto–”

“Why didn’t you tell me you applied to Oxford?” Bokuto asks suddenly, his golden eyes smoldering in a way that Akaashi wasn’t familiar with. “Did you apply to any local schools?”

“A couple,” Akaashi murmurs. “But most of the universities I applied to are overseas.”

“Did you even think about how we’re supposed to see each other?” Bokuto questions. “Or how we could go on dates?”

“Well, sorry, I was thinking about my future,” Akaashi replies as he stands up, a little snappier than he intended. “I’m trying to make the right decisions for my career, and I—”

“What about me?” Bokuto asks back, standing up to confront him. “Did you even factor me in as part of your future ? Did you think about me when you were making all these decisions?”

“We weren’t dating when I made most of these decisions,” Akaashi says. “And I made these decisions for myself.”

Bokuto turns away in a huff. “So that’s just it, isn’t it? All the decisions you make are for yourself—I’m the only one that thinks of us first.”

“Bokuto, that’s not it and you know it.” He doesn’t know what’s happening. He doesn’t know why it feels like something has snapped between them, but it does. The atmosphere has turned sour much too quickly.

“But isn’t it?” the other responds with an edge to his voice. “I feel like I’m the only one dreaming of a future together. I’m the only one that’s trying to make decisions around what I want for the both of us and not just myself.”

“What has been with you lately?” Akaashi exclaims in exasperation. “You haven’t had time for me at all and whenever we talk it’s like I’m annoying you. And now, you’re starting a fight. How am I supposed to tell you anything going on in my life if I can’t even talk to you?”

“This has nothing to do with me,” Bokuto says with a frown that seems to make his whole body droop. “The only thing I’ve been doing is trying to make sure that I get into a school after graduation! If I hadn’t wasted so much time on you last semester I wouldn’t have to cram for my applications!”

“Wasted time on me? I never forced you to spend time with me, your time management problems are not my fault,” Akaashi retorts.

“And at the same time, I’ve been thinking of trying to come up with ways to make sure that our future together is secure!”

In the heat, Akaashi says, “How do you even know we have a future together? You keep going on about how you’re the only one who cares about our future but how do you know that there’s going to be one?”

The silence that ensues is suffocating as Bokuto turns around, his eyes widened in shock. “Akaashi…” But Akaashi picks up his jacket and walks away, heading towards the door. “Akaashi, come back,” Bokuto says, his voice soft, “you don’t mean that.” He looks hurt as he reaches out for Akaashi’s arm. “You can’t mean that.”

Akaashi feels his heart break, but doesn’t say anything as he storms out.

“I’m sorry.”

Bokuto sighs as he stares up at the ceiling. It had been three days since their last fight and they hadn’t spoken since. It is only now, when Akaashi had called that they said anything to each other. Akaashi is on speaker, his breathing loud and clear in Bokuto’s dark room.

“Me too,” Bokuto whispers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“Me neither.”

After their apologies and small bits of talk, they just listen to each other breathing in the stark silence. The apologies are comforting at most but they don’t feel closer afterwards. Instead they feel farther apart.

Akaashi knows he shouldn’t stress over something like AP Chemistry. He knows he should just take a few deep breaths and take advantage of the fact that Bokuto is there to help him relieve his stress. But it’s a little over a month into the last semester of his senior year and while nearly half of the class is taking it easy with simple classes and free periods, AP Chemistry has been kicking his butt. He doesn’t remember regular chemistry being so hard and if he’s honest, he’s starting to fall behind. And at the same time he’s desperately trying to keep up with Bokuto and what he’s been doing but between all this studying, it’s hard to find any time.

Things have been getting tense between the two of them as well. Despite promising each other to talk and communicate more, they haven’t been. Time for talking has dwindled to a few minutes after midnight if they’re both awake and also at school whenever they see each other and have time. And even though they have a calculus class together, Bokuto is struggling with the content so Akaashi barely speaks with him during class.

For the past two and a half weeks, they haven’t had a full conversation. There have been nothing but a few words of encouragement to each other. It feels unreal that their relationship is nothing but a few words every day—sometimes it isn’t even every day. He wishes they could spend more time together, but doing so would forfeit his precious time for studying. He feels bad for thinking that way but he knows Bokuto understands. At least, he hopes he does.

Akaashi has been doing homework for three hours straight before he passes out on his textbooks. He doesn’t know how long he has been napping for but when he wakes up it’s from a gentle shake of his shoulder. He jerks up and sighs when he sees that it’s only Bokuto.

“Hey,” he breathes out, noticing that his room is very dark. It must have already been evening. “What are you doing here?”

Bokuto looks concerned as he sits down on Akaashi’s bed. “Your sister let me in… how long have you been asleep?”

“I… I don’t know. I was doing homework for AP Chem and I guess I knocked out,” he sighs. “But why did you come over?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Bokuto bites his lower lip. “Point is I’m here. How long have you been studying?”

Akaashi shrugs. “I don’t know—some hours, give or take. I still have an essay to write.”

“You sound stressed,” Bokuto comments, reaching over to caress Akaashi’s cheek. “You look stressed. Have you been getting sleep?”

“Sort of,” Akaashi admits. “These days I stay up so we can talk.”

“You shouldn’t be staying up so late, Kaashi. It’s not good for your health—especially if you’re studying so much.”

“I just need to last this semester and then I’ll be done,” Akaashi says, the sound of summer again already sounding sweet. “And don’t worry, half the stress is from school and the rest is just worrying about what I’m going to talk to you about.” Akaashi smiles but Bokuto doesn’t. Akaashi goes back to his books despite Bokuto looking like he wants to protest. He goes back to scribbling answers to questions about metals and solutions.

“You know, Akaashi… sometimes I wonder if you have the time for a boyfriend.” Bokuto seems unfazed by the look of confusion and shock that crosses his boyfriend’s face. Bokuto has always been blunt by nature, but not in this way. “It’s just… you’re so stressed about classes and this looming idea of the future that keeps you dreaming and I’d hate to think I was in your way.”

“Bokuto, you’re not in my way,” Akaashi insists softly. “I love having you by my side, I swear.”

“When you dream of your future,” Bokuto whispers, “do you dream of me too?”

Akaashi hesitates and his hesitation is enough giveaway for Bokuto to guess an answer. But Akaashi says, “Yeah…”

The way Bokuto laughs is a little cold. “I dream of you, you know. You and your bright eyes.”

Cruel irony, Akaashi thinks as he looks at Bokuto’s ever bright and glowing eyes. He bites his lower lip and murmurs, “Bokuto, I’m sorry, I just… I think I’m caught up in my own little bubble.”

Bokuto doesn’t say much. He looks like he’s thinking. After a while, he pats the spot on the bed next to him and says, “Come here and sleep. I don’t care what you’re studying, tonight you’re sleeping.”

Bokuto has a sharp gleam in his eyes that leaves no room for protests so Akaashi gets up and lays down on his bed. He doesn’t realize how much he misses the soft feel of his pillow under his cheek until he’s settled down in bed. Bokuto is wrapping his arms around him instantly and pressing a kiss to the edge of his ear.

“Go to sleep,” he whispers.

Akaashi doesn’t want to go to sleep—he wants to stay up and ask Bokuto what he’s been up to in his life and what he’s doing here and how his family has been. He wants to ask him how his volleyball games have gone and how his applications went and what he ate for lunch that day and all sorts of things that have been on the tip of his tongue for the past few months. There’s so much to say, and yet, in the comfort and warmth of Bokuto’s arms, he finds himself falling asleep. 

It hurts, he thinks, that this is exactly what he’s been needing. 

When he wakes up the next morning, Bokuto is gone and in his place is a small box of chocolates and a homemade card. When he opens the card, it reads Happy 10 Month Anniversary! and Akaashi can feel his heart sink.

A week later, they’re both laying on the grass, in the dark. Their breaths are coming out of their mouths like smoke and dissolving into the black night air like dust. The air is cold, very cold and it bites are their noses and stings their cheeks pink. It’s late February and the winter air is still cruelly cold. But maybe that’s the kind of weather that is appropriate for their conversation.

“I think… I think we should break up.” It’s Akaashi who speaks first.

Bokuto is silent for a few heavy seconds. “Me too,” he says. 

“It’s probably the logical thing,” Akaashi murmurs. “Neither of us have time for a relationship. This way we don’t need to worry about each other on top of school. Right?”

“Right,” Bokuto replies. “It’s not healthy.”

“Right.”

Their voices are soft—so soft that if they aren’t listening, their voices will disappear with the wind. The taste of the wind is bittersweet as they realize that their relationship is coming to a close. There’s no need for any more explanations—they both know why they’re breaking up. It is only for the best.

“You know. You know I’ll always love you, bright eyes.”

“I know. Me too.” 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

Even though it’s a mutual decision, it still hurts.

“It’s okay,” Kuroo hushes. “It’s not like you broke up because of fights or cheating. It was mutual, right?”

Akaashi sniffs, wiping the tears from his eyes. He hates crying. “Yeah, it’s just… I never thought it would happen to me—to us . I should have worked harder to stay in touch with him, I saw all of the signs.”

Oikawa rubs his back soothingly and whispers, “It’ll be alright. Even if you did something, would it have made a difference?”

Akaashi chokes back his own sadness and forces it out, “No.” He buries his face into a blanket and ignores the sappy romance playing on Kuroo’s television. “I wish I could have changed something though…”

“You couldn’t do anything, don’t worry. It was inevitable.” Oikawa hugs him for comfort and Kuroo turns off his television.

“I don’t want to be crying over him though!” Akaashi exclaims, muffled by the blankets. “Our breakup was mutual, wasn’t it? It’s not like we hate each other so why am I so sad this ended?” Akaashi lifts up his face and accepts the tissues Kuroo is handing him.

“Being sad about it isn’t a bad thing,” Kuroo tells him. “It’s okay to be sad over it. Just because the breakup was mutual doesn’t mean you can’t be sad about it.”

“Yeah,” Oikawa agrees. “You need to be sad first before you can get over it.”

The break up hurts but Akaashi has his friends to help him get through it. Right now it feels like the end of the world but he knows it’s not. It can’t be. But until he feels like getting better, the world may as well crumble at his feet.

It takes him a week to get back into the routine of his life before Bokuto but the feelings still linger. All the crying makes him feel empty and light as a feather and he feels like he can start anew again. He knows a part of him is still madly in love with Bokuto but he doesn’t have to focus on it.

He spends his time with his friends and trying to balance his studies. He’s okay now, he thinks. No, he’s sure. All he does now is anticipate his acceptance letters and graduation. And he’s okay with that.

“Are you going to Grad Night?” Akaashi asks, biting onto breadsticks.

Oikawa nods. “Yeah, I am. I already paid the fee. What about you guys?”

“Me too!” Kuroo responds, bringing the spaghetti he had just cooked to the table.

It’s the night of senior prom and the three of them have decided to just stay home and hang out with some of Kuroo’s home cooked spaghetti. They’re slightly disappointed they’re not attending prom mostly due to the fact that their friend won the title of Prom King, but they have Kuroo’s cooking to make them feel better. Graduation is only half a month away and the speed of how quickly their senior year is coming to a close is kind of scary. Finals are right around the corner and AP Finals are even closer.

“Graduation is so close!” Oikawa exclaims. “Did you guys get your acceptance letters yet?”

“Yeah,” Kuroo says happily, sitting down with them at the table. “I was accepted into a great business program, I’m so excited. And the university is only a couple hours away so I’ll be able to come back on weekends and breaks.”

Oikawa casts a knowing glance towards Akaashi. “You know he’s sharing a dorm room with Daichi? Daichi got into the same music program. Kuroo can’t even ask the guy out and now he’s going to be rooming with him.”

“Shut up!” Kuroo says, smacking Oikawa’s shoulder. “It’s all a coincidence, okay?”

Akaashi giggles. “Whatever you say, Kuroo. Where are you headed, Oikawa?”

“A local university accepted me into their psychology program,” Oikawa says proudly. “They also offered financial aid so I’m all set. What about you, Kaashi? Did you get accepted into Oxford?”

Akaashi smiles at them and replies, “No, I didn’t get in. But I decided on a different school. It’s domestic so I’ll still be around for holidays.”

“That’s great!” Oikawa says. “I’m so excited for you!”

“Yeah, it’s pretty exciting,” Akaashi responds. “I just need to make sure my grades stay in tip top shape so that they don’t decline me.”

“Oh yeah, AP classes are such a pain right now,” Kuroo comments. “At least once AP Finals are done, it’ll be a breeze.”

Akaashi laughs. “Most definitely. I think I’m just excited for the graduation party because we’ll get those letters we wrote at the beginning of the semester.”

“Oh yeah! I completely forgot about those!” Kuroo’s face lights up as he cheekily adds, “You guys wrote me something, right?”

“I don’t know,” Oikawa teases. “Maybe I didn’t feel like writing you a sentimental letter.”

Akaashi gives him a coy look and says, “And maybe you wouldn’t care about our letters since I heard that Daichi wrote you a letter that was four pages long.”

“I’ll kill the both of you.” 

Akaashi’s  donning his graduation cap and robe, sitting on his school’s football field with the rest of his graduating class. His diploma is in hand and his heart is beating like crazy. The last row of students are up on stage receiving their diplomas and the minutes are ticking down.

A week of graduation rehearsals are worth this moment. All the stress for finals is worth this moment. This moment of pride and excitement, this moment of anticipation and ecstasy—it is worth everything . There are bleachers of people clapping and cheering for every student that receives their diploma and Akaashi isn’t sure if there’s a better feeling in the world.

He’s sitting next to Oikawa and holding his hand, the pounding of his heart echoing loudly in his ears. He can’t conceal the gigantic grin on his face as the last student receives their diploma. The cheer sounding in the air is loud and proud and their principal looks more than overjoyed as he takes the podium.

The words “Please rise” echo across the field as the entire class stands. Akaashi takes a deep breath and it comes out shakily. The sun is shining down on their class and the anticipation is bubbling up in their stomachs.

“Please move your tassels from the right to the left.”

The cheers get louder as all of the students move their tassels on their cap from the right to the left. This is it. They’re not candidates anymore—they’re graduates. Akaashi can feel those happy tears well up in his eyes as he holds his head up high.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” their principal says, “on behalf of the staff, school and the district, I am honored to present this year’s graduating class!”

Tears are spilling from eyes and cheers are rising as their graduation caps fly into the air. Across the field, Akaashi meets Bokuto’s eyes and they smile. It’s here, after all, that Bokuto had approached him on a night that feels so long ago, with his poor pick up lines and Tigger blanket. 

“Akaashi Keiji!”

Akaashi runs up to his teacher who hands him a large manila envelope, labeled with his name. His literature teacher smiles at him and says, “Congratulations.”

It’s night now and the only thing in the sky is a bright full moon. He’s at a mansion that’s been rented out for their grad night party. They’re all having a great time and the literature teachers are there supervising and handing out manila envelopes filled with the letters they wrote from earlier that semester.

Akaashi holds the envelope tightly in his hands and heads to the backyard of the house. He mentions to Kuroo that he’s going to read his letters outside by himself. The backyard of this house is so spacious and fresh. A few couples are out here, dancing to some slow music playing from a stereo beneath trees dripping with lights. He settles down beneath a tree, using the lights wrapped around its trunk to look at his letters.

He opens the manila envelope with a smile as pulls out a couple smaller sealed envelopes within. He wastes no time opening them to read it to himself. Reading them makes him feel light and happy inside. He laughs at Oikawa’s letter and Kuroo’s letter makes him feel nostalgic. There's a letter from Sugawara that makes him grin and a few letters from his friends.

The last letter is from Bokuto. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to expect when he unfolds the papers from the sealed envelope but he starts smiling as soon as he sees the first words.

Hi Bright Eyes,

It’s your favorite person in the world! Me, that is. Bokuto. Your boyfriend. Ha ha, so smooth, am I right? So I’m sitting here in literature class and I guess since everyone in class is doing this, I’m required to do it also. And I know we’ve only been dating for about three months but I want to write a letter to you anyways.

I wasn’t lying to you when I said it was your eyes that attracted me. How could anybody miss those beautiful bright eyes? And I’m so glad I worked up the courage to spring that awful pick-up line on you because you became my boyfriend afterwards. I’m positive that in the three months I’ve known you, I’ve found a million reasons to love you. Love—cheesy, right?

I could go on and on about how much I love you but I won’t because I’m sure I flatter you enough in person. Instead I’ll talk about all the sorts of things you make me feel. Because to be honest, Akaashi Keiji, you make me feel a lot of things.

Well, bright eyes, where do I begin… you make me feel like I’m the only person in the universe that you look at. I feel like the star of the universe when you look at me and you make my heart break dance with those bright eyes of yours. When I kiss you it feels like summer all over again. No, all the time, not just when I kiss you—you give me that feeling of love in the summer that I can’t get enough of.

I know we haven’t known each other a long time compared to how long we could have known each other but it feels like forever. Falling in love with you has probably been the greatest experience of my high school career and I hope to be with you for a long time. It doesn’t matter how long we go for because so long as it’s just you and me, I’ll be happy.

But you know what? It’ll always just be you and me. I’ve never felt this way with any other person before. I love you, Akaashi, I really do. And if I ever forget to show it in the future, just punch me in the arm and I’ll tell you I love you as many times as you want.

What a corny thing for me to say…

I love you lots, bright eyes. Never lose your brightness. I know you’re going to be successful, I can just tell. You’re going big places, bright eyes. I hope I’ll always be there for you. And if I’m not, don’t forget to take me with you.

Love, your favorite Tigger enthusiast,

Bokuto.

Akaashi doesn’t realize he’s crying until he puts the letter down but he’s not crying out of sadness. Maybe they’re happy tears, maybe they’re tears from that feeling of a past love but he doesn’t stop crying. He cries with a smile and wipes his face to make sure no one sees him. Without a shaky breath he folds up the letter neatly and places it back into the envelope—he will cherish this letter forever.

“Hey there, bright eyes.”

The way his heart picks up speed as his nickname is called out means that it can only be one person. Akaashi turns around and delights to find Bokuto walking towards him slowly, hands in his pockets.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi breathes out, his face lighting up.

Bokuto smiles and laughs softly as he walks up to him. “Fancy finding you out here all by your lonesome.”

“Just wanted to read the letters people wrote to me.” Akaashi smiles at him. “I… Your letter was very sweet.”

“Was it?” Bokuto asks amusedly, a knowing twinkle in his eyes. “I’m glad.”

Akaashi giggles to himself and replies, “Thanks, Bokuto. For everything.” He takes Bokuto’s hand in his own, the feeling so right after so much time of not being able to hold it. 

“You too,” Bokuto replies, lifting Akaashi’s hand up to kiss the back of it. “I wanted to ask you though—where did you decide to go to college?”

“It’s in the country,” Akaashi responds, smiling. “And you?”

“A couple hours away.” Bokuto grins at him. As he leads him to slow dance with the other couples. Akaashi can’t find a single part of himself that wants to walk away. “I guess we’ll be able to see each other more often, right?”

Akaashi nods. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, I’m happy for you bright eyes. Congrats to both of us for making it through high school in one piece.”

“Now we’re going onto bigger things, right? We’ll always go on to bigger things.”

Bokuto’s eyes sparkle. “There’s nothing left to do but move on to better things. Even if it’s not with each other.”

“I suppose not with each other,” Akaashi says. He’s quiet for a minute as he leans down to rest his head on Bokuto’s shoulder and then softly says, “But I’ll always dream of you.”

“And I’ll dream of you, bright eyes.” Bokuto’s arms tighten around him in a way Akaashi wishes wouldn’t end. He’s missed him. He’s missed falling for him. He wouldn’t mind doing it again. “Don’t forget me after the summer, all right? Remember to take me with you.”

“Every step of the way,” Akaashi promises. “It’ll be you and me for as long as it can be.”

Bokuto whispers. “No matter where we end up, no matter what happens—it’ll always be just you and me. Always.”

They don’t know what’s going to happen after this night but he supposes that’s the beauty of it. That overwhelming fear of trying to control their future but ultimately not knowing what’s coming; there’s beauty in it. 

Maybe it truly is Bokuto that Akaashi sees when he closes his eyes to sleep. And maybe all he needs is sleep to heal the scars from losing Bokuto. He doesn’t know what’s in store for them, but here, looking Bokuto in his eyes that will always ironically be so much brighter than his own, Akaashi knows that he isn’t dreaming alone.