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"Miko...I know I really messed up this time. But can we talk about it? If you just give me one more chance, then...please, reply!"
Miko looked at her phone screen, sighing. How many messages had she received up to now? She didn't know, because she had stopped counting. A few weeks ago, she had ended the relationship with the woman she had considered the love of her life. This step had not been easy for her and she still did not know if it had been right, because it still hurt. But Ei had left her no other choice. She had given her more chances than she had ever given anyone else before! She had forgiven her every misstep, had supported her where she could and had stood by her side even when she herself was not well. And she had done it gladly, because Ei had been the one who had meant everything to her. Even when Ei had ghosted her for the first time, Miko had forgiven her. After all, she had come back and apologized, hadn't she? So Miko had swallowed all the frustration, anger and fear, pressed Ei against her and had just been happy that her girlfriend had returned to her. Yes, she had disappeared from her life for several weeks and she hadn't been able to give her a really good reason other than "sorry, I wasn’t feeling too well and needed some time to myself". But she was back and that was all that mattered, wasn't it? Well, at least that's what Miko had thought at the time. But then Ei had disappeared again, without saying a word.
At first, Miko hadn't wanted to believe it. She couldn't do that again, could she? Unfortunately, she very well could. For weeks, Miko had wondered what she had done wrong. Had she said or done something that had upset Ei? Should she have been more responsive to her needs? Had something happened that perhaps had nothing to do with her? Or maybe Ei had even been kidnapped and needed her help? Miko didn't know. Again she worried day and night about her friend, writing her message after message, hoping for some sign of life. Then suddenly, with an embarrassed smile, Ei was standing in front of her door.
"Sorry for not replying. It was all too much for me, so I had to get out...you know how I am."
Miko hadn't known what to say or how to react at first. In retrospect, her emotions had probably gotten the better of her. The next thing she remembered was Ei holding her aching cheek after Miko had slapped her. In that moment, she had let out in a gush all the frustration, anger, and the rest of the emotions she had pent up inside her for weeks. She had told the woman she loved beyond measure, to her face, what she thought of her habit to suddenly disappear. In doing so, words had escaped her lips that she had probably never used in such a way before. But she was just so terribly angry. And disappointed. And frustrated. How could the person she had practically devoted her life to over the past few years treat her like this? What had she done to deserve this behavior? How could she be so brazen as to then just show up here and stand in front of her with that smile that Miko had fallen in love with all that time ago and just make a cheap excuse. The first time, Miko had let her get away with it. She had convinced herself that it would surely never happen again. After all, Ei had apologized, hadn’t she? She had realized her mistake and would learn from it, right? Surely she wouldn't be mean enough to do something like that again. After all, you don't do such cruel things to the person you love, do you? And yet Ei had done it again. Not only that, she had disappeared even longer than the first time. And who knew if this was the last time? Would she perhaps one day disappear again without a word?
At that moment, Miko was overcome with fear. She had thought of how she had stared at her cell phone practically every second for days...no, even weeks, because she hoped for a sign of life from Ei. Just a "I'm fine" or "Sorry, I can't text you right now" would have been enough. She would have known that she was fine or that Ei just didn't feel like writing right now. But this? Was she going to fall into this hole again and again in the future, from which she almost didn't get out? How many times would she be able to cope before she collapsed under this weight? Just the thought of having to relive this time of fear and worry had almost paralyzed Miko. No, she never wanted that again. Never!
"I'm sorry, Ei...but I can't do this anymore. Not again."
"What do you mean?" her friend had asked, confused, looking at her with those big, purple eyes that had always made her melt, ever since.
"I went through your ghosting shit once and convinced myself it would be a one time thing. Do you have any idea what I've been through these past few weeks? Why don't you talk to me when you need distance or you're not feeling well? A short message...some sign of life...that would have been enough. But nothing at all? I slept like shit for weeks and worried all the time because I didn't know what was going on. And then suddenly you just show up again and think a simple apology would be enough to make up for it?" She had paused for a moment, staring at the woman standing there, visibly shrunken by now, in front of her. Seeing her now, looking so remorseful, she wanted nothing more than to take her in her arms, hold her close, and never let go. She would kiss her and tell her that everything would be alright again and that the past was forgiven and forgotten. NO! Miko had remained strong. The fear of being hurt again was far too great.
"What are you trying to say?" Ei had continued to look at her questioningly. Had she really not understood what Miko was getting at? Granted, she had always been a bit dense about such things, and usually, Miko found it totally cute...but now, at this moment, it had just made her angry.
"It's over, Ei. From today on we go our separate ways."
With these words she had turned around and slammed the door. She had stood in the hallway for what felt like an eternity, only slowly beginning to realize what had just happened before her legs had given way and she had sunk to the floor, leaning back against the door. There she had let her frustration run free and cried like she hadn't cried in a very long time. Love was supposed to be a beautiful thing... So why did it hurt so much? Why did one do such a terrible thing to a person whom one said one loved more than anything else? As she sat there crying with her back to the door, she couldn't shake the feeling that Ei was still out there. She imagined her girlfriend...no, her ex-girlfriend...now also leaning with her back against the front door, only now realizing what she had done and now lost. How she regretted her mistakes and thought about what she could have done better. And Miko would have loved to jump up, open the door and hug her, to show her that everything would be alright again. After all, they had both lost too much already. They couldn't lose each other as well, could they? But Miko had stayed strong. "Not this time," she had kept telling herself, "Not this time!" No, Ei had gone too far. She had hurt her like no one had ever done before. And she didn't want it to ever happen again, even if it meant that from now on she would have to live without the person she loved more than anything. So Miko had wiped her tears, stood up, and had not looked back, but instead had gone forward. She had to move on and not live in the past!
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"You seem annoyed?" Miko looked up in surprise. Her friend Ganyu, with whom she had arranged to meet at a café today, looked at her curiously. "Is everything okay?"
"Uh...yeah, sure," Miko said quickly. "Sorry. I was just a little...preoccupied."
"Another message from her, then?"
Miko scratched her head in surprise and sighed again. "Yeah. She just won't give it a rest."
"How many has she written you by now?"
"I've stopped counting. After all, there are more every day," Miko replied, annoyed.
"Don't you want to talk to her after all?"
She shook her head. "It's no use, Ganyu. She just doesn't understand the problem. Ei thinks a simple apology will make the problem go away and then everything will be fine again. But that's not how the world works. And I'm tired of pretending it does."
Now it was Ganyu who sighed. "I wish I could help you... But then, I'm not exactly an expert myself, considering how long it took for Keqing and me to..."
"Don't worry about it, okay? Surely Ei will eventually realize that we're done with each other. I just have to stay strong and keep ignoring her messages, and I'm sure she'll stop soon."
"You think so? I remembered that she can be quite stubborn and reluctant to give up."
"That's true for both of us, I'd say," Miko agreed.
And indeed, a few days later, the messages stopped. At first, Miko didn't know what to feel about this. On the one hand, she was relieved because now she could finally come to terms with the relationship with Ei being a thing of the past and make her peace with it. Yes, she would leave this part of her life behind from now on. But on the other hand, it also hurt a little to know that Ei had given up. It was like Ganyu had said: she was terribly stubborn and reluctant to give up. That applied to video games, board games, sports activities, her job, and even friendships and relationships. But this time she had apparently given up and Miko was unsure if she really liked it. She knew she was supposed to like it...but then why did it still hurt so much?
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"Are you sure you don't want me to introduce you to her?" Miko jolted out of her thoughts. Had she digressed again? Ganyu had tapped her gently with her finger. "Earth to Miko, Earth to Miko. Are you there?"
"I'm sorry. What were you saying just now?"
"I had suggested to introduce you to an acquaintance of mine whom I think you would like. Like you, she loves to write stories and has a vivid imagination. You would probably get along splendidly. And who knows? Maybe it will turn into something more?"
Miko shook her head with a smile. "That's sweet of you, but I'll pass."
"Are you sure?" Ganyu looked at her scrutinizingly.
"I am. Maybe I'll take you up on the offer someday, but right now I don't feel like meeting anyone new."
Her friend shrugged. "Okay, whatever you say. Then I hope Kokomi isn't already hooking up with someone else by then. Because someone that cute won't stay alone for long if she doesn't want to. But who am I telling this?"
Miko couldn't help but laugh at the last remark. Then she felt her cell phone vibrate. When she looked at the display, she winced briefly. A message from Ei.
For a moment she stared wordlessly at the text, not quite knowing how to react.
"Is everything all right? You look a little...confused? Don't tell me..."
"It's a message from Ei," Miko only replied, to which Ganyu let out a sigh.
"Oh gosh...I really thought we were past this now. What's she writing?"
"That's just it," Miko began, still visibly irritated, "It doesn't make any sense."
"You want to read it to me?"
Miko nodded before she began to read, "A chocolate bar, two packs of instant ramen, a four-pack of frozen pizza, two bottles of Dango milk, a can of cherry blossom deodorant..."
"You're supposed to read me her message, not your grocery list, Miko," Ganyu
interrupted her, amused.
"That IS her message," Miko retorted.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, look for yourself." She handed her friend the cell phone. Ganyu stared at the display for a moment before she started laughing.
"What's so funny now?"
"Sorry...I really didn't think there were people who actually do that!"
"Do what?" asked Miko impatiently.
"Use chats as a grocery list."
She stared at Ganyu questioningly. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I read about it on the internet, but for it to happen to a friend of mine for real..."
"I don't understand a word. What are you talking about?"
"Ei obviously thinks you blocked her. After all, you didn't respond to her messages for weeks. And now she just writes down her purchases in your chat history. She probably imagines that this way she still has a connection with you or something. At least that's what happened with the person who did it to Ducky."
"Who's Ducky?"
Ganyu waved it off. "Oh that's right, you're not on Twitter. Ducky is a person who runs a funny account there that I follow. It's a great community with the funniest ideas about a video game I'm playing."
"Now what does that have to do with this?"
"That's what I was getting to! She posted a screenshot of a chat history a while back. Someone had also been sending her grocery lists all the time, because the person apparently thought Ducky wouldn't read the messages anyway. And actually, I've often heard that there are people who do this with celebrities or politicians - either to annoy them or to feel that they are somehow close to them in this way. Sounds weird, I know...but that's the way it is."
Miko looked again at the list Ei had sent her. Was Ganyu right? Was Ei really doing this to feel close to her? Or was she just trying to annoy her with it, as some apparently did with politicians?
"What am I supposed to do with this now?"
Ganyu shrugged. "What do I know? Just ignore it, like you've been doing all along. After all, it's just a grovery list, right? Be glad she's not writing you anything serious. And if it bugs you, you can always block her, right?"
So at first, Miko had followed her friend's advice and ignored the grocery list messages. But the more Ei sent her, the more often Miko caught herself scrolling through the lists. Dango, dango milk, mochi, frozen meals...Ei really hadn't changed a bit. When they had been a couple, Miko had always cooked for both of them, because Ei had never learned to do that and would have otherwise only subsisted on unhealthy convenience foods. Putting a pizza in an oven or dumping hot water into an instant ramen container - those were already the greatest culinary feats Ei could pull off. And that was now very clearly reflected in her grovery lists. A few times, Miko even had to chuckle thinking about how Ei was sitting at home in front of her phone thinking about what unhealthy stuff she would now put on the list next. The image of Ei sitting on the couch in her apartment with a bowl of instant noodles and a couple of dango, playing "The Witcher 3" to finally get Geralt and Yennefer together was a little cute, wasn't it? But she shook off that thought again and devoted herself to her work. After all, she had decided to leave her relationship with Ei behind, hadn't she? And yet these images came back to her mind again and again whenever her ex-girlfriend posted a new grovery list in the chat. It brought back memories of movie nights together, of the warmth and love that had existed between them. But most of all, it brought back memories of how she had constantly admonished Ei not to buy so much unhealthy stuff and to eat fried tofu instead. She should have realized that when she was on her own, Ei would fall back into old patterns and buy all that fast food stuff instead of finally learning to cook.
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"Bandages, plasters, painkillers..." Miko stared at her cell phone. What did Ei need all these things for? For the past couple of weeks, she had only paid occasional attention to Ei's shopping lists because she had been so busy trying to meet the deadline for her latest novel. "I'll just take a quick look today, as usual," she had said to herself, but then she had found a grovery list that read differently than any of the previous ones. Ointments, medicine...but mostly the painkillers worried her. That wasn't a particularly low dosage written there. What did Ei want with it? She was not one to stockpile such things. She usually only got things when she needed them immediately. But wouldn't that mean she was injured? Granted, the sheer amount of candy that also appeared in the list - at the very end - was less uncharacteristic of Ei, even if it was unusually much in terms of quantity. But why this amount of painkillers and bandages? Why the ointments? If she was injured indeed, it had to be more than just a scratch, because Ei was tough. If she needed painkillers in that dosage, then that meant it was far more than just a paper cut. What had happened? In her mind, Miko imagined the worst-case scenarios without meaning to: Perhaps she had been attacked on the street and was now injured? Or had she even harmed herself in the end? Ei had always tended to resort to extreme means in emotional situations. But this? Miko felt her heartbeat accelerate visibly with every moment she thought about it. Why did she even care anymore? She had ended the relationship, after all! Why was she so worried about this person? Why couldn't she put this behind her? She felt an irrepressible urge to send a message to Ei. A simple "Hey, is everything okay?" couldn't be wrong, could it? If she replied, at least she would know she was okay, right? NO! She couldn't be weak now! She had held out for so long. If she texted her now, she would just end up falling back into old patterns and eventually reach that point where she never wanted to end up again. So she had to stay strong, no matter how hard it was!
Miko could feel her throat tightening. She had to get out, get some fresh air! Yes, a walk would certainly do her good and help clear her head. So she grabbed her coat, put on her shoes and set off. As she walked along the streets, her thoughts kept returning to Ei, as if she were a sun and Miko the planet orbiting around her. Why? Why couldn't she get away from that woman? What was it that kept drawing her back to her and making sure she couldn't get her out of her mind? But no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't stop worrying about Ei. Not even for a minute.
"No, I'm not going to write her a note!", Miko kept telling herself as she strolled through the city, finally arriving at the grand Narukami Park. As if of their own accord, her steps had directed her there. So many memories were attached to this place. Here they had had their first date and confessed their feelings to each other. How many times had they sat here comfortably on a blanket and picnicked? How many times had they gazed together at the beautiful cherry blossoms in the springtime that bathed the entire park in a beautiful pink? Hopefully, Ei was doing well. Damn! There she had drifted off nevertheless smoothly again in thoughts to her. She had just hoped that she had managed to suppress her worries!
Finally, Miko stopped in a side street, very close to the park, in front of a small house. She didn't know how it was possible, but apparently she had walked here quite instinctively, without consciously meaning to. She stared at the somewhat worn-looking door sign, where the characters for "Raiden" had been engraved. Why was she here? Actually, she never wanted to come here again. What on earth had made her go to Ei's house, of all places? Sighing, Miko glanced once more at the grovery list on the screen of her cell phone and resignedly slumped her shoulders. Now that she was here, she might as well check to see if everything was in order, right? Just a quick glance would be enough, then she would know that Ei was fine and she had worried for nothing, okay? And after that she could go back home calmly and devote herself to other things again. Yes, that's how she would do it! Slowly and almost deliberately, Miko walked up the few steps until she stood in front of the door. For a seemingly endless moment she stared at the doorbell. Should she really...?
"Get a grip already!" she admonished herself. "You got yourself into this soup, so now you're going to spoon it out! You just take a quick look to see if everything's okay and then you're off again. That's not difficult. So don't make such a fuss and ring the damn bell now!"
The sound of the doorbell echoed out to her from inside, while she continued to stand there, not sure why she had really come here. Why hadn't she just stayed home? Why hadn't she blocked Ei weeks ago so she could finally have her peace? So many questions running around in her head that she just didn't have an answer to until, after what seemed like an eternity, the door finally opened.
"Miko?" While Ei stared at her in surprise, Miko eyed her ex-girlfriend from head to toe. She could discover bandages on her head as well as on her arms and right leg. One of her arms was even in a sling! She obviously had several scrapes, some of which she had only covered makeshift with band-aids. And she looked like she hadn't slept very well for a while. The rings under her eyes spoke a pretty clear language, Miko thought. There were countless things going through her mind at that moment that she would have liked to ask Ei. But the only thing she could come up with at the sight of Ei was a completely bewildered, "What the hell happened to you?"
But Ei did not answer. Instead, she just stood there - obviously with difficulty, because it seemed as if she was a bit wobbly on her feet - and stared steadily at Miko, as if she couldn't believe that she was really standing at her front door. It almost seemed as if she was about to reach out her hand to grab Miko to check whether this was a dream or reality. But then Miko could see tears forming in the corners of her ex-girlfriend's eyes before Ei threw her around her neck so tumultuously that they almost fell down the stairs together. At first, Miko was unsure how to react. Should she return the hug? Or rather push her away? Should she say something? Or simply remain silent? But when she heard the pained sobs of the crying woman in her arms, she couldn't help herself and gently stroked her hair with one hand while pressing her against her with the other.
"It's okay," she whispered over and over as Ei just kept crying, seemingly not wanting to stop. "I'm here now."
Miko didn't know how long they had huddled like that on the top step of the stairs, but eventually the sobbing had quieted and they had pulled away from each other again.
"I'm sorry," Ei finally said after she had calmed down a bit.
"It's okay," Miko replied, and she felt herself blush a little. Then she recollected the reason for her coming. "Now, spit it out: What the hell happened?"
"Uh...it’s a bit embarrassing," Ei replied, wanting to scratch her head with a ashamed laugh. But apparently she had forgotten that both of her arms were injured, so she immediately winced in pain and gave a soft "ouch". "You know...to make a long story short: I got hit by a car because I wasn't paying attention."
"How did that happen to you? You're usually so attentive about things like that?"
Ei shrugged, but that seemed to be cause her pain as well. Gradually Miko harbored the suspicion that just now, in her arms, she had been crying primarily in pain from the hug and the sudden movement rather than from joy or gratitude, but she resolved not to inquire.
"As I said, I wasn't paying attention. I was going shopping, staring at my phone and...then it just happened. "
Miko shook her head with a sigh. "You really can't even be left to shop alone, it seems to me..." Then she eyed Ei from top to bottom. "And now? Is it very bad?"
"Oh, no," Ei said, waving it off. "Just a broken arm, some broken ribs, bruises on the legs and the other arm, a mild concussion and some abrasions. I've gotten over worse than that!"
Miko raised an eyebrow skeptically. "When was that supposed to be? You've never broken anything before."
Ei laughed, immediately wincing in pain again. "Maybe you're right. I have to admit that it's not that easy to do anything at all with all these bandages. Actually, I wanted to go shopping today, but I can't even limp sensibly without it hurting."
"Want me to go shopping for you?" asked Miko immediately, without thinking twice, much to her own surprise.
Ei didn't seem to have expected it either. "You don't have to. I certainly don't want to be a burden to you, you know..."
"Do you have anyone else who could do that for you?" asked Miko firmly.
"No," Ei replied, somewhat dejectedly.
"Then that's settled. Write me briefly what you need, okay?"
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"You're doing WHAT?" asked Ganyu, irritated, as she spoke to Miko on the phone.
"I'm shopping for Ei. Poor thing had an accident and she doesn't have anyone else, you know."
"I get it," Ganyu replied, and Miko was sure her friend had just giggled. What was so funny now? And why did she feel like she had to justify anything now? She was just helping someone in need who had once been very important to her - nothing more. That didn't mean that they would meet regularly again. And she certainly wasn't doing it to spend time with her. No, she was doing it because Ei needed help and had no one else to turn to. It was her duty to help her, wasn't it? What kind of person would she be if she didn't?
"Then I won't keep you from your duty," Ganyu said, after Miko had explained to her long and wide why it was completely normal and natural to stand by Ei in this situation. "Tell her I said hello and wish her a speedy recovery from me, okay?"
"You're supposed to stay on the couch!"
"I just wanted to help you carry it," Ei replied as Miko marched past her into the kitchen with the shopping bags.
"I made it from the supermarket to here without your help, then I'll be able to manage the few steps through your apartment, don't you think? Now go back to sleep. Your body needs to rest or you'll never be at full health again!"
Reluctantly, Ei complied with the order and went next door while Miko stowed the groceries in the cupboards. Nothing had changed here - everything was still in the same place as it had been all those weeks ago when she had last been here. How many times had she stood in this kitchen and cooked for both of them? Speaking of which, she had now bought so many ingredients that Ei hadn't even written down, because she didn't want her to go back to eating only convenience food and sweets. But Ei couldn't cook at all - especially not in her current condition. That was a problem, of course...
"What smells so good in here?" asked Ei, cautiously peering in at the open kitchen door. "Wait...have you been cooking?"
"Yes, I have," Miko replied before turning to her. "Shouldn't you stay in the living room and rest?"
"I do..." replied Ei a bit meekly, "...but it smelled so good, I just had to check. I'm going again..." She was about to turn to leave, but she glanced over at Miko once more. "Can I have some too?"
"Who do you think I cooked this for?" replied Miko, amused. "Now, off to the couch. I'll bring you a portion in a minute, understand?"
While she stood at the stove like that, preparing the meal, she caught herself happily humming a song and thinking back to the times she had cooked here every day. It felt like a lifetime ago. But she still knew exactly what Ei liked and didn't like. So she put the portion together accordingly, put everything on a tray, and then walked with it into the living room, where Ei was already waiting for her.
"Bon appetit!" they both said at the same time, before Miko started eating the noodle soup. It hadn't tasted this delicious in a long time! But she had made everything exactly the same as usual, hadn’t she? What was the difference this time? Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ei struggling with the chopsticks. She just couldn't bring herself to eat with them. "Do you need help?" she asked cautiously, knowing Ei wouldn't like to admit it. But to her surprise, Ei gave her a desperate look before she just nodded silently.
So Miko dipped her chopsticks into the soup bowl and grabbed a bunch of noodles, then guided them to her mouth. She blew once gently on the steaming food before guiding the chopsticks to Ei’s mouth. She chewed on the food for a moment, then swallowed it before an expression of pure happiness spread across her face.
"Do you like it?"
"It's so delicious!" replied Ei happily.
After she finished eating, Miko still took care of the dishes while reviewing in her mind what had happened today.
"You're just helping an old friend," she thought to herself. "That's all it is."
But the image of her feeding ramen to the helpless Ei on the couch wouldn't leave her mind. A loud noise jolted her out of her thoughts. It was coming from the stairs! Immediately, Miko rushed out of the kitchen, only to find Ei lying on the floor in the hallway.
"What are you doing?"
"I was going to the bathroom to get my bandages," Ei replied, her face contorted in pain.
"I have to change them after all..."
"Why didn't you tell me, dummy?"
"I didn't want you to-"
"What?"
"I didn't want to cause you any more trouble," Ei finally said glumly.
"Nonsense," Miko rebuked her before helping her up and bringing her back to the living room.
"You stay here now. I'll get your bandages and take a look. And don't you dare walk around the neighborhood again, you understand?"
When Miko came back into the living room with various ointments and bandages, Ei was sitting there on the couch with a rueful look on her face, waiting for her as instructed. Satisfied, Miko sat down next to her and began changing the bandages one by one, scrupulously careful not to hurt her unnecessarily. When she was finally done, she dropped down on the couch next to Ei, a little exhausted. How many times had they lain here together watching movies or playing video games? Everything here in this apartment reminded Miko of the countless good times they had spent together. She had spent almost every good moment of her life with the woman who was sitting next to her right now. But she couldn't fall back into old patterns. She was only here to help an old friend. Nothing more. Now that Ei had eaten something and was patched up, she could actually head back home, couldn't she? She certainly didn't need her help sleeping, right? As Miko was about to sit up, she noticed that Ei was leaning her head against her shoulders. Wait...had she fallen asleep? Should she say something? For a moment she hesitated. Ei looked so peaceful when she slept. All the things that usually bothered her seemed to have fallen away from her. From the way Ei had looked, this was the first time she had been able to sleep so peacefully in quite a while. If Miko got up and left now, she would surely wake up. But she couldn't just stay here...could she?
"So what?" it went through Miko's mind. She had stayed here so many times before. One time more or less didn't really matter, did it? She just hoped Ei wouldn't wake up and draw the wrong conclusions. No, tomorrow morning, before breakfast, Miko would go back home. Although...in her condition, Ei couldn't make herself a decent breakfast after all. No, Miko would have to wait until after that in any case, if she didn't want Ei to live only on sweet, unhealthy stuff. But after that she would leave immediately. Maybe she would come back later to check on her. After all, Ei couldn't just be left to her own in this condition, could she? That would be absolutely irresponsible! No, she could not do that...
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"But Ganyu! I can't just leave her to her own!"
"I'm not asking you to," her friend replied. "I just want you to stop lying to yourself."
"I'm not!" Miko retorted angrily. "What makes you think that?"
"You've been with Ei for a week now. Why don't you just say openly and honestly that you're back together? That's fine. In fact, I'm happy for you."
"We're not together. I'm just helping out an old friend who depends on me. That's all
it is."
"Whatever you say," Ganyu replied, and Miko could hear her chuckling in amusement.
"I have to go to work now. Will you meet me for coffee again soon?"
"Of course. Say hi to Keqing for me."
Sighing, Miko pocketed the cell phone before packing the groceries into her bags and marching back to Ei's apartment. That Ganyu. Where did she get such ideas? She and Ei were done. She was just helping an old friend who was in need. There was nothing more to it, right? Yes, Miko had to admit that she had been with Ei practically all the time during the last week. She had cooked for her, cleaned the apartment, changed her bandages, shopped, and they had also watched movies and played games together. Yes, an outsider could really get the impression that they were a couple again, Miko had to admit that willy-nilly. But it was not like that. They weren’t dating anymore. However, she couldn't deny that she enjoyed the time together with Ei. It was just like back then...no, even a little better. Because in one aspect Ei had changed: She seemed to have recognized her mistakes and worked on herself. Of course, this didn't happen within a splitsecond, but it was already enough to see a difference to before. It started with the fact that she had apologized to Miko.
"I always took you for granted," Ei had admitted. "I thought no matter what happens or how long I disappear: Miko will be there waiting for me when I get back. But I never realized how you felt about that. Only now can I somewhat understand how it must have felt for you when I just disappeared. I should never have done that to you, Miko."
Those were her words. And she couldn't deny that she was incredibly happy to hear them. It was as if there had been an invisible burden that she had been carrying around for a while now. Now, through Ei's words, it had finally fallen away from her.
"Is Ganyu right? Am I lying to myself?" Miko caught herself as this thought circled through her head again as she prepared dinner. How did she feel about Ei? A difficult question, with an even more difficult answer. Or was it actually quite simple? The thing was: When Ei had needed her, she had rushed over immediately and quite instinctively. She had taken care of her without expecting anything in return. She hadn't been able to think of anything else - even if she had really tried - until she had stood in front of her and seen that she was doing well, considering the circumstances. And in that moment, too, a great weight had fallen from her. During this past week, she had been more cheerful than she had been in a long time. Not only Ganyu had noticed that, but also Miko herself. And then there was this feeling that kept flaring up inside her. A feeling of warmth that spread through her body whenever she was close to Ei. Miko had to smile involuntarily. Yes, it was probably really quite simple: no matter how hard she tried to tell herself, she had never stopped loving Ei. The fear of being hurt again had driven her away from Ei. But now the urge to be close to her again was stronger than anything else. It was like a maelstrom that took hold of her and swept her away without her being able to fight it. And maybe she didn't want to?
"Why are you doing all this for me?"
Miko stared in surprise at Ei, who was leaning her head on her shoulder. The question had come so suddenly and abruptly that she didn't know what to say at first. She could literally feel the blush rising to her face. Should she dare and be honest? Strictly speaking, she had no choice. Lying to Ei probably wouldn't work anyway. Because now that Miko had admitted the truth to herself, she would have a hard time hiding it. It had always been that way. Sighing, she lowered her shoulders and gathered all her courage. What was she so afraid of? She had confessed her feelings to her once before, all those years ago. This was no different...was it?
"Actually, I thought I was doing this out of pity. Or out of compassion, because you have no one else. Because I'm a helpful person. Because we've been friends for so long. To
be honest, I didn't really know myself why I was doing this for you until just now."
"And now you know?" asked Ei, confused.
Miko nodded. "Yes, in the meantime I have become aware of it. I'm doing all this for you...because I love you, Ei. I always have. And I always will."
For a moment, there was an eerie silence in the living room. Both stared at each other and neither seemed to know how to react. Then Ei finally managed to say something: "Miko?"
"Yes?" she answered a bit hesitantly.
"I'd really like to kiss you right now."
A slight smile flitted across Miko's face. "Then do it, if you dare."
Very slowly, Ei stretched her head up to her before closing her eyes. Miko could feel how her heartbeat accelerated. By now it was so loud that she thought Ei should be able to hear it. Ei's lips came closer and closer to hers. In a moment they would touch and she would be able to taste again that sweetness she had missed so much...
"Ouch!" Ei flinched and looked at Miko in confusion and a bit ashamed. "Did you just flick me in the forehead? "
Miko chuckled gleefully. "Did you really think I'd make it that easy for you, Eichan?"
Ei stroked her forehead with her hand and looked a little disappointed…almost sad...
As if of her own accord, Miko leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. A surge of warmth and happiness flooded her body and filled her completely. How she had missed that! Then, after an eternity, their lips parted again and Miko gently stroked Ei's cheek with her hand. She looked for a moment into those beautiful purple eyes, in which she had lost herself so often. It really was her destiny to be with this woman, wasn’t it? And if she was honest, the thought of spending an eternity with her made her incredibly happy.