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"You know..." He started after some time of silence, looking at the stars up in the sky.
Haechan turned to him, face bored yet curious. "What?"
"Forget it." Mark said. Ah, I will never confess this way. he thought.
"Oh, come on." The other whined lazily, clearly tired. "Tell me what it is."
Mark turned to look at him, his heart beating so hard it could explode with the bare thought of confessing. This made him look away in a bat of an eye, his stupid blush hiding in the darkness. He sighed. "You know we should go back to the dorms. Or do you want to sleep in front of the river?"
Haechan groaned. A yawn following right after. "I'm not that sleepy..." Maybe he really was that sleepy. Judging by the way he got up to leave as soon as he said it. "But anyway, let's go."
Mark instantly stood up from the grass, slowly starting to walk towards the streets. He could feel Haechan's presence in the distant streetlight's glimmer, after the latter had walked over him.
What a stupid you are, Mark. He thought to himself. You promised yourself you'd confess, and yet you can't.
He looked around. They were still well hidden from people who might walk in the park.
So, he grabbed Haechan's wrist with delicacy, driven by a sudden wave of courage. "Hey..." His eyes anywhere but at the man's face turned to look at him with falling eyelids, humming with a soft smile almost imperceptible with the calm sound of the river in the back.
Mark walked closer, careful and quiet. They were standing a few inches away, yet too far to feel the warmth of each other's breaths. "Can I do something before going?" Voice uncertain while his hand slides right over Haechan's elbow, hoping he would notice how cold it is.
Haechan stared at him, eyes still sparkling like the stars. "Go ahead." He replied.
Mark knows this could ruin everything if it goes wrong, from their friendship to their working experience. But it's been years he's been in love with Haechan and he can't help keeping it all in himself anymore.
He leaned slightly, testing if the youger would move, but he noticed the latter's eyes almost closed by the weight of tiredness. Probably unable to see him in the night.
"Just..." He started whispering, looking at Haechan's lips, "Promise me you won't get mad." He finished, leaning even closer.
"Wh-" Mark didn't even let Haechan say anything before closing the little distance between their faces. His lips clashing softly against haechan's delicate ones.
Mark rushed to cup Haechan's face between his hands almost desperately. Too scared of the other pushing him. Rejecting him. In that very second he hoped with every part of himself he would give in and return the kiss.
He wanted to be selfish for once.
Haechan felt rigid under his touch. Understandably but unnerving. However, the former didn't leave. He stayed frozen until he slowly tilted his head, almost as to signal Mark he wouldn't let go.
Except, he did.
"Mark, what the fuck." Haechan whispered as he took a step back. His voice almost totally awake from the shock although it wasn't angry – despite the wording –.
"... I-" Mark wanted to say everything and nothing at the same time. His mind spinning, shutting down and making up reasons as to why Haechan had pushed him. He couldn't hear anything but a muffled voice and his infinite thoughts.
I fucked up. I fucked up. His vision blurred slightly with tears threatening to fall. His stomach hurting from the anxiety.
That, until he felt Haechan shook his shoulders and look straight into his eyes.
"Mark. Calm down. Mark, Listen to me."
"What?" Mark's voice almost trembling like his whole body.
Letting his hands fall into Mark's. "You're lucky no one's here or you'd have got us in serious trouble." Haechan said. "Kiss me when we arrive home, you stupid." He said with a grin on his face while he let go of Mark's hands.
"You..." Suddenly, every weight and anxiety eating Mark from the inside faded away, except the shock. He laughed awkwardly. He couldn't believe Haechan liked him back. "Sorry. Uhm, yes."
Unconsciously, they both started heading home. Embarrassed yet satisfied smiles painted on their faces as they walked without saying a word.
The dorm door locked behind them. No one was around at that hour of the night.
Only a dim light in the living room on.
Haechan looked at Mark. Mark looked at Haechan.
And they said it.
"I love you."