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It was another quiet afternoon in Ghost City. Well, quiet if one can ignore the clamor of rowdy ghosts and ghouls going about their business in their usual joyous chaos.
In the city’s sole temple, a god and his ghost husband enjoy some downtime together. Xie Lian was kneeling at the table, looking over some paperwork Ling Wen had sent him. In truth, he was barely focused on the reports. His attention was almost completely on his beloved pouty husband (what’s new?) who was hunched over his calligraphy practice.
Hua Cheng was actually putting some effort into the exercise, which was surprising since he would usually try to charm, tease and slither his way out of practice, bribing his husband with kisses and crawling into his lap. His silence and concentration were concerning to Xie Lian. After a few years of marriage, Xie Lian had gotten better at reading his husband. Hua Cheng, though gifted at hiding his emotions and being a gifted actor, could no longer hide his inner turmoil from his husband. They had multiple conversations about this over the years, how they both need to communicate their needs and feelings more but this proved to be very hard for Hua Cheng. Even after years of being together, he still feared being inadequate for Xie Lian, still feared being abandoned if he wasn’t perfect. When those anxieties surfaced, he would get very serious and quiet.
He never snapped at Xie Lian of course. But it was obvious when he was in a bad mood. Today was one of those days, Xie Lian thought. Something was clearly bothering Hua Cheng. Xie Lian decided to give his husband a chance to open up about it before he tried to pry the information out of him.
“Well done San Lang! You have really progressed!” Xie Lian complimented the… artistic scribbles on the paper scroll Hua Cheng was using for practice.
“This one appreciates Gege’s encouragement, but there’s no need to lie to this one…” Hua Cheng answered quietly, not even looking up at Xie Lian. Which was definitely concerning. Normally, the compliment would get Hua Cheng preening and purring in delight.
“San Lang, is… is everything alright?” Xie Lian lowered himself a bit, trying to get a look at his husband's face.
“Yes! Everything is fine Gege, this one is happy to spend the day with you!” Hua Cheng looked up at him with a smile. But there was something wrong about it, something… forced.
Okay, time to pull out all stops. “San Lang… We’ve talked about this, you can always talk to me if anything’s wrong. Something’s bothering you today, won’t you tell Gege about it?” Xie Lian takes Hua Cheng’s hand and stokes it gently. If his husband needs a bit of help before he opens up, Xie Lian will gladly help and wait.
Hua Cheng looks away again, fiddling with his brush. “It’s nothing important Gege, don’t mind this one…” He answers before focusing on his calligraphy again. Xie Lian sees how he grips the brush’s handle, how tight and stiff his position is. This isn’t nothing.
“Hua Cheng.” Xie Lian says sternly with a pointed look. His husband instantly looks up, that name in that tone of voice, he’s in trouble. Xie Lian clearly isn’t messing around anymore. The god has learned that Hua Cheng sometimes needs a bit of gentle discipline, and needs to be reminded of how precious and loved he is, even though it’s still difficult for him to accept and understand.
Hua Cheng sighs and finally puts the brush down. He still won’t look at Xie Lian but he’s close to breaking. Xie Lian waits until the truth finally spills out.
“Gege… would you have preferred if… if this one…” Hua Cheng stammers, unsure of how to express his thoughts. “Would Dianxia prefer it if this one was less… unruly and more serious?” He finally says. Xie Lian blinks in confusion. Where did that come from? He gets up and walks around the table to kneel beside Hua Cheng. Despite getting closer to him, Hua Cheng makes no move to cuddle or lean into him like usual.
“San Lang… what are you saying? I love you as you are, my mischievous, silver tongued, playful, charming husband. What makes you think I’d prefer you any other way?” Xie Lian leans in to kiss Hua Cheng cheek. He can see the smallest hint of pale pink on his husband's face, a very intense blush by ghost standards. Hua Cheng still won’t make eye contact, this has been bothering either a lot or for a long time, if not both.
“It’s just… this one isn’t very educated or disciplined… Doesn’t it bother Dianxia to have to teach such a basic thing?” Okay, someone had put those ideas in Hua Cheng’s head, Xie Lian immediately understood. He gets like this sometimes, and it’s always because someone made him doubt his worth in Xie Lian’s eyes. They’ve been through this before and they will again. Xie Lian doesn’t mind helping Hua Cheng come over those mental hurdles and toxic thinking patterns. What does anger him though is that there are still people being mean to his amazing beloved and make him doubt himself so much. Given Hua Cheng’s strong, arrogant and confident attitude, no one would suspect that it is merely a facade. That’s all it is, an illusion. Inside that mighty warrior and powerful King of Ghosts, there’s still a little boy, face half covered in bandages and curled on himself, plagued by hurtful thoughts.
“San Lang, I love being with you no matter what. I wouldn’t mind even if you were illiterate, I’d still be with you and I’d still love you. Never forget that.” Xie Lian takes Hua Cheng’s face in both hands and turns it to face him. With his declaration, he kissed Hua Cheng, a kiss filled with all his love and adoration before he manhandled Hua Cheng to sit in his lap. The ghost makes a soft gasp of surprise before settling himself in their new position. He hides his face in Xie Lian’s neck, cuddling close. Xie Lian holds him for a while, gently stroking his back. Once he feels his husband relax. Then he asks.
“San Lang, sweetheart, who put those ideas in your head? Ah! Don’t deny it, I know these didn’t just come from you!” Xie Lian tuts, gently pinching his husband's cheek before kissing it.
“It doesn’t matter Gege… you think it’s nonsense and Gege is right about those things.” Hua Cheng deflects as he kisses Xie Lian’s neck, trying to distract him. It doesn’t work, Xie Lian backs away a little to look him in the eye and raise an eyebrow expectantly. Hua Cheng sighs before cuddling close again. He looks so small and uncertain, a side of him only Xie Lian ever gets to see and it is a recent thing. It was a few years before Hua Cheng felt comfortable enough to be really vulnerable around Xie Lian.
“This one wanted to label a painting he made for Gege to hang in Puqi shrine… With pretty calligraphy. So… I asked… someone to help…” Hua Cheng is beating around the bush. He doesn’t want to tell who he went to, but this is important.
“Who did you ask San Lang? I can tell it didn’t go well.” Hua Cheng hides his face again and he mumble something Xie Lian doesn’t hear. “What was that love?”
“Mu Qing. I asked that asshole because I know he writes okay. Nowhere as prettily and gracefully as Gege but he’s okay enough.” By “okay enough” meant that Hua Cheng admitted Mu Qing was better than him. But calligraphy was probably the only thing he was better at. Xie Lian waits for the rest of the story, gently rocking his upset husband. Eventually, Hua Cheng speaks.
“He didn’t want to. Told me to just get better at it on my own, if an unruly and uneducated street rat like me could handle writing a few legible words… And said he doesn’t know how Gege bears with me.” Hua Cheng whispers that last part. Xie Lian is seething with rage. He and his old friend will have a… conversation about this later. But right now, he’s got a sad and upset husband to comfort. And he will always come first. Always.
“Oh sweetheart… That was very mean of him. You shouldn’t listen to that! Of course he writes well but because he was taught. Everything San Lang knows he taught himself! Do you know how admirable that is? So what if your calligraphy isn’t the best? I like it the way it is! It’s great for one who learned all on his own!” Xie Lian hugs his husband tight.
“Then why does Gege make this one practice so much?” There it is, the hint of teasing in his voice is coming back.
“I think San Lang knows calligraphy practice is just an excuse for spending time together by now…” Xie Lian teases back with a warm smile and more kisses. Now Hua Cheng is smiling finally and laughing softly.
“Sorry Gege… this one shouldn’t have listened to that asshole…” Hua Cheng apologizes.
“You have nothing to be sorry for love. Mu Qing is the one who’s gonna have to apologize.” Xie Lian says sternly. Hua Cheng must understand that he did nothing wrong. He was trying to do his best, as usual and he got bullied for it. By now, Mu Qing should know better than to question Hua Cheng’s worth. Beside, Hua Cheng made an effort here to talk to him in an, if not friendly, agreeable manner and acknowledged his talent in something.
“It doesn’t matter Gege… This one knows he is your friend…” Despite what many thought, Hua Cheng wasn’t controlling in the slightest. Even if he didn’t like them, he would never keep Xie Lian from his friends. Here again, he was willing to put up with bullying to please Xie Lian. Which his husband will never allow.
"Whether he’s my friend or not is irrelevant. He will apologize, end of the conversation.” Xie Lian shuts Hua Cheng up with another long kiss. The Ghost King doesn’t fight the affection anymore and melts in his husband’s arms. They remained like this for a while before Xie Lian suggests to paint instead of calligraphy practice. Idea which has Hua Cheng perking up instantly. He was always the artistic type. He scrambles out of Xie Lian’s lap after another kiss to gather painting supplies and they get painting.
Xie Lian will never stop enjoying watching Hua Cheng paint or draw. He looks so happy, a childlike wonder in his gaze as his hand dances gracefully over the scroll, painting beautiful landscapes and mythical creatures. Xie Lian is barely focused on his own painting to watch his husband instead.
Then… he noticed something. Why had he never realized before? It’s so obvious! The painting brush Hua Cheng is handling so skillfully as he draws a crane taking flight, he’s holding it… with his left hand. But whenever he’s writing, he uses his right hand, as is conventional when practicing calligraphy.
“San Lang, could you sign the painting please?” Xie Lian asks with a knowing smile.
“Now? But Gege… this one just started… okay.” Hua Cheng makes a move to hold the brush with his right hand to sign the scroll but Xie Lian stops him.
“No. Sign with your left hand.” Xie Lian gently commands. Hua Cheng looks adorably confused by the request.
“Gege, it’s not right to write with your left hand. That’s what the scrolls on calligraphy all say.” Hua Cheng counters but keeps the brush in his left hand.
“I don’t care. San Lang, sign with your left hand.” Xie Lian insists and Hua Cheng obeys, as always, though perplexed. He signs and… his name is perfectly legible. It’s not the most skilled calligraphy and the strokes are still a bit shaky but the characters are clear. Hua Cheng stares at the scroll in disbelief.
Xie Lian looks at his husband's bewildered face before falling back, laughing. “Oh San Lang, sweetheart, don’t tell me you’ve never tried writing with your left hand even though you paint with it?”
“I haven’t… it’s… it’s not proper to write with your left hand.” Hua Cheng looks so confused. Xie Lian catches his breath and goes to hug his husband.
“San Lang, it doesn’t matter! It's just some old tradition! Have you really been forcing yourself to write with your right hand when you’re left-handed all this time?” Hua Cheng doesn’t answer and just lowers his head. That’s all Xie Lian needs to tackle his husband. They end up on the ground, Xie Lian on top of Hua Cheng, peppering his face with kisses.
“San Lang… San Lang… What matters is you, not the state of you remember? Don’t force yourself to be like others, ever! If you practice writing with your good hand, in no time you’ll be better than anyone! Like anything my San Lang puts his mind to!” Xie Lian nuzzles his husband's face. Hua Cheng is smiling at last. He wraps his arms around Xie Lian and kisses him passionately. Then, he keeps his right hand on his husband’s back as his left hand sneaks into his husband’s clothes. Xie Lian lets out a surprised yelp but doesn’t fight the sweet caresses.
“Can this one demonstrate what his good hand can do for Gege?” Hua Cheng whispers in his husband’s ear. Xie Lian laughs, looking into Hua Cheng’s obsidian eye and can see that all doubts and worries have gone away.
“Please do San Lang, this Gege is sure he’ll be pleased and impressed by his husband!” Xie Lian teases back before they start kissing again.