Work Text:
Gossip and rumors were extremely boring topics to talk about, Chrissy realizes after a while. Maybe it was her head buzzing, still trying to sober up, or maybe because she couldn’t care less about who kissed who behind the bleachers, but she found herself searching for a long-haired D&D enthusiast around the cafeteria not five minutes after setting down her lunch tray in the cheerleader’s table.
Only two days have passed since she had smoked her brains out with Eddie Munson and Chrissy was already looking for her next high. Except it had nothing to do with weed or even ketamine this time.
That afternoon in his seedy trailer home, sitting on his uncle’s faded couch in her pristine cheerleader uniform and smoking the strongest pot she has ever tasted had been more fun than any date or party with Jason. Chrissy couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed so hard her stomach hurt and tears ran down her cheeks, or even the last time she had felt so safe with someone else. Reconnecting with Eddie after nearly ten years was undoubtedly the best thing that had happened to her this year.
She had opened up to him about the nightmares and terrifying visions she had been keeping to herself recently –monsters and dreams that not even her boyfriend knew about– and though Eddie had been more than a little confused and frankly couldn't really understand her, that didn’t stop him from trying to comfort and cheer her up in his own weird and wonderful way.
Chrissy knew that her demons weren't going to go away that easy, healing took time and a lot of help, but as Eddie was bringing her back home after sobering up enough to drive and she absently hummed at the beat of the song on the radio, she realized her heart was lighter in her chest and she felt like she could finally breathe again.
He listened to her. He believed her. He made her laugh. He cursed at her parents with a vocabulary that convinced her he feared no God. The ‘Freak’ king of Hawkins High was a special kind of drug, one she was quickly becoming addicted to, and Chrissy was desperate for that rush of momentary bliss and joy only he could provide with his presence.
It shouldn’t be hard to find Eddie amongst her peers, the guy stood out from the crowd –any crowd at that– like a sore thumb. An amazing, outrageous thumb Chrissy thinks excitedly to herself as she cranes her neck, searching for a mop of frizzy curly hair in the sea of students overcrowding the cafeteria. She’s so distracted she doesn’t answer one of her friend’s questions, much less notice someone carelessly drop their lunch tray next to hers’ and throw their arm around her shoulders.
Chrissy’s instincts make her jump in her seat, her heartbeat spiking to the back of her throat.
“Hey, babe.” It’s Jason, seemingly unaware of her startled reaction, reaching over to take one of the apple slices from her tray and then pulling back to smile at her. Chrissy shrinks to herself, staring back at Jason a little bit hurt. She really tries to not think too much about it, but she can’t help but compare the way Eddie instantly knew something was upsetting her just by the fearful look on her face after accidentally scaring her back in the forest after she saw the grandfather clock for the first time.
Chrissy shakes her head, pushing back that thought. So perhaps Jason wasn’t as observational as Eddie, but that didn’t mean Jason was in the wrong. She could admit she was sometimes too dramatic and emotional. It was her own fault for expecting the impossible from Jason.
“Hi, babe,” she says back softly as ever, forcing the words out of her mouth and forming her lips into a perfect and practiced smile.
Jason seems content enough with her answer. Chrissy expects him to ask about how her first-period classes went like he always did. Instead, Jason turns his attention to one of his basketball teammates and starts a conversation about today’s afternoon practice, leaving Chrissy hanging her mouth open with the answer to a question that never came.
Crissy was surprised about it, but she was even more surprised at the fact that she didn’t care as much as she should’ve. She was embarrassed, sure, but deep down she felt like she should be more upset about being ignored by her boyfriend like that.
She wasn’t. After her embarrassment quickly washes away she felt nothing.
“So, Chrissy, you’re going to Ben’s party this Friday with us right?” Rebecca Walsh, third base, chimes in before Chrissy could go back to her search for Eddie.
Chrissy curses under her breath at the interruption but decides to smile at the girl.
“Yeah, sure,” she really doesn’t want to go to that party, “I can’t wait!”
“Okay, great. So, the party starts at nine and we need at least four hours to get ready,” Diana Kelt, left flyer, says and points at Chrissy with a perfectly manicured finger, “Be at my house at four-thirty.”
Chrissy wants to grimace. Four and a half hours was way too much time to get ready for a party that would eventually end up with everyone wasted in the pool. No one would remember what the cheer squad wore, or how their makeup and hair were styled. It seemed like a huge waste of time but Chrissy didn’t want to disagree with the girls.
It was easier and safer to play along and though she hated how complaisant she was she didn’t found the strength to contradict.
“Alright, I’ll be there.”
Rebecca and Diana, just like Jason, seemed content enough with her pliant answer and they went back to their previous conversation about the new dresses they bought at the mall.
It felt like a slap to the face somehow and Chrissy gazed down at her hands bunching up her skirt. She mentally kicks herself for not speaking up that four and a half hours was a ridiculous amount of time to get ready. For not admitting she wasn’t comfortable going to Ben’s party to begin with.
Most of all she was especially angry at herself for not telling Jason to move his heavy fucking arm off her shoulders. He still had it around her even after brushing her off to talk to his friends and was shaking her around like a ragdoll as he laughed at some stupid jokes. She tried to ignore it for a while but she was quickly starting to get irritated. Chrissy could feel an unreasonable burst of anger bubbling in her veins and it was taking every muscle in her body to not scream and shove him off her.
That would undoubtedly attract everyone’s attention to her and Chrissy didn’t want to be labeled as Jason’s crazy bitch of a girlfriend; after all, boyfriends having their arm around their girlfriends was something couples did all the time. So why was Chrissy so peeved about it? Maybe Jason wasn’t the problem here either. Maybe she was just a bad girlfriend.
Or maybe the problem wasn't the arm around her, it was the fact that the person attached to it wasn’t the one she wanted.
Chrissy frowns. She’s been with Jason for almost a year now and yeah not everything has been sunshine and roses with them but she was always a dutiful girlfriend. Laughing at his jokes, buying his lunch sometimes, and attending his basketball tournaments without fail like any good girlfriend. So why now was she starting to doubt? What changed?
Her train of thoughts was cut short by the loud screech of a metal table grinding against the ceramic floor. Chrissy looks up from her lap and her eyes immediately go to the reclused corner table across the cafeteria, as if her mind automatically knew where to turn before any other rational part of her could process it.
Then she sees him. Eddie – of course , it was Eddie causing all the commotion– jumps over the table the same way he did it every time he got revved up about something. She hadn’t noticed since she was too far away to listen, but by the looks the people closer to his table were giving him, he was already halfway through his speech. Now that he stood all high and mighty on the table he had everyone’s attention on him. Up to the cheerleader’s table which was on the opposite side of the cafeteria.
He was screaming like a madman on a mission about conforming to society’s rules, the status quos, and whatnot. Nothing out of the ordinary, just another Monday morning.
Chrissy used to ignore him just like everybody else on her table, secretly hiding a smile behind her hand (She had always liked Eddie even before actually talking to him last week. He’s had her attention ever since the middle school talent show, even if they had never spoken a word after that), but now she openly watches at the craziness of him, incapable of hiding her grin.
There was something so insanely attractive to her about someone who just did not give any fucks about other people’s opinions. He possessed so much of what she lacked. Chrissy finds herself entranced at Eddie being unashamedly himself in front of the school, Jason’s stupid arm becoming a second thought to nothing.
“–and all these bullshit rules are killin’ our young kids’ brains!” Eddie rambles on in feign disbelief, stomping his heavy black boots on the metal surface to make a point. At the word ‘ kids’ he crouches down to ruffle the hair of one of the youngest members of his club.
The child beams toothly at Eddie and Eddie grins wickedly back at him.
Dustin Henderson, Chrissy vaguely remembers as her heart swelled at the adorable sight, her cheeks tingling for some reason. She guesses that the amused-looking kid next to Dustin was Micheal Wheeler, another one of the youngest members of the Hellfire Club. Eddie was surprisingly amazing with kids, he had talked so highly of Dustin, Micheal, and another kid named Erica in his trailer home. His softness for them had warmed her to no end.
“Fucking freak.” Chrissy hears Jason mumble to one of his friends and the guy chuckles nastily. Chrissy’s smile drops in an instant. Suddenly Jason’s arm weights like lead on her shoulders but she decides not to make a scene, the spotlight is on Eddie right now, so she settles by shrugging her shoulders non too delicately, his arm dropping down her back. Jason’s hand bangs on the bench since he wasn’t expecting Chrissy to pull away so harshly and he snaps to her.
“What are–” Jason starts and Chrissy is already glaring at him when he’s interrupted by the rise of Eddie’s voice sounding closer than before.
“So what if people from different cliques mix in high school?” Chrissy tears her narrowed eyes away from Jason and sees that Eddie has jumped down the table and was now walking the aisle that separated the tables, glancing at everyone and no one at the same time. It takes her a second to realize that he was walking in the direction of the cheerleader table.
Her back straightens up like a spring and her heartbeat picks up with every step he takes.
“High school is an allusion to class superiority and teenage immortality. Universities don’t give a fuck how popular or social you were,” he says mockingly and stops next to the football jock’s table to snap his fingers, “Oh, actually, scratch that, nobody gives a fuck at all if you’re a meat head jock with repressed urges,” he leers at them and continues to walk before any of players could give him a piece of their mind, “Or bookworm know-it-alls,” Eddie waves at the mathletes. They flip him off. He shrugs and goes on, “Or part of the school baaand–”
“That freak better not come closer,” Jason says, scowling in Eddie’s direction, and Chrissy wants to laugh at the way he makes his voice deeper than it is as if that was threatening at all, but she can’t take her eyes away from Eddie, her mind racing at what she’s going to do or say when he does come closer. The cheerleaders all agree with Jason in perfect unison, all except Chrissy, and it makes Jason turn to her again, “What the hell is up with you today? You seem distracted.”
You mean I’m not paying my undivided attention to you and agreeing with everything you say like a mindless robot, she thinks bitterly, but she doesn’t find the courage to say it.
Especially not now that Eddie was standing in front of her from across the table with a playful smile on his face. Her breath hitches in her throat as she stares back at those dark coal eyes.
It was like her two worlds were colliding. The one where she’s expected to be and the other where she secretly wants to be. She and Eddie hadn’t spoken after about where their relationship stood. Neither of them said a word about it the whole ride back to her house or even after she kissed his cheek goodnight and ran off to her bedroom window, her cheeks flushed and a huge grin she couldn’t wipe away until she fell asleep.
Chrissy thinks they’re friends, she’s half-sure of that and she wasn’t embarrassed about it in the slightest, but there was still something invisible that kept them apart. Kept them from waving at each other in the hallway earlier this morning. They passed each other like any other day. He didn’t even look in her direction. It made her stomach twist, her eyes prickling with anxiety. That’s right, they weren’t supposed to be friends and he probably didn’t talk to her so whatever stupid reputation she had as head cheerleader wouldn’t be tainted by having association with him.
It just wasn’t fair. If she damn well pleases to take her lunch tray over at the Hellfire Club’s table and sit next to Eddie and his friends nobody should have anything to say about it. Chrissy hated nothing more than her own cowardice because though that had been her plan when the first-period bell rang, she backed out at the last minute and sat at her usual table, pushing back tears of frustration with herself.
Always the one to please others aren’t you Cunningham?
And here was Eddie Munson in the flesh, standing confidently and with a big cat-like smile at her table as if he had heard her silent desperate calls. He was braver than she would ever be.
At that moment, staring at his intense black eyes and with every student in the cafeteria gaping at them, Chrissy understood what it meant to be the only two people in the room.
Until Jason’s obnoxious voice intruded.
“You got something to say, asshole?” Jason spat with venom, draping his arm possessively around her shoulders again as if she was his property and Eddie wasn't allowed to even look at her.
It makes Chrissy grind her teeth, her blood boiling underneath her skin.
She despises Jason, even more, when Eddie breaks away from her to look briefly at the arm around her and then at Jason. No, please keep your eyes on me! she nearly fucking screams but she bites down on her tongue at the last second. Voicing her thoughts would be nothing short of mortifying.
“I have a lot to say about you, Craver,” Eddie says, so calm that Jason probably finds it infuriating. Eddie glances at Chrissy for a moment. It’s subtle, like they’re trading a private joke, “But let’s not let pretty ears get between an ugly fight,” he taunts, the tip of his tongue peeking between his toothy smile.
Chrissy tries to slow down her heartbeat when it skyrockets in her chest, so sure that everyone in the entire school can hear it. Eddie called her pretty! Well, he called her ears pretty –which was weird, but nothing about Eddie was considered typical– so by extension also her. Was it normal to get this excited by the smallest compliment from someone who wasn’t her boyfriend? Jason has called her beautiful, hot, and sexy before, usually accompanied with a lascivious look, but none of those times had her blushing this much.
The cheerleaders broke into hushed whispers, the corner of their eyes ogling at Chrissy and some of them at Eddie. Jason glares at Eddie, clearly understanding the insinuation towards her, and presses Chrissy tighter to his side. Too fucking tight, Chrissy squeaked like a toy at the crushing pressure.
She starts to wonder with anger how much twisting would it take to dislocate Jason’s arm without breaking it. She looks up at Eddie and judging by the look on his face, he seems to be wondering the exact same thing.
“Yeah, we get it, Munson. You’re not popular, or social and you’re sure as hell not getting into college like the rest of us.” Chrissy tries to elbow Jason in the ribs, but she can barely move her arms from her sides. She tries squirming out of his grasp and it only drives him to squeeze her closer.
Eddie was unfazed by his insults, he seemed more focused on Chrissy and the unpleasant arm than on Jason. Still, he dignifies a response as if it was a mere second-thought for the real reason he was there, “Mommy and Daddy’s money can only get you so far, champ,” he says and Chrissy smiles a bit at the patronizing tone behind it.
That struck a nerve in Jason’s extremely fragile ego. Chrissy sighs when he finally removes his heavy arm from her shoulders and gives her room to breathe. Her relief doesn’t last when Jason stands from the chair, raising his head as if to appear bigger and Chrissy vaguely thinks how stupid he looks. Eddie’s cocky smile tells her he’s also thinking about how childish Jason is being until the smile drops, “Big talk coming from the orphan, trailer trash!”
“Jason!” Chrissy gasps.
The basketball team bursts into vicious laughter that even the posh cheerleaders join in. Chrissy feels her gut sink to the ground and she’s in utter disbelief that Jason would say that. It breaks her heart, even more, when Eddie scoffs and looks away for a moment. For others, it was a dismissive gesture, but for Chrissy, she could see genuine hurt. She wants to reach over and cup his cheeks or maybe grab his hand and take him somewhere far away from these assholes, but it would only make things so much worse.
Eddie recovers in a blink of an eye and it makes Chrissy wonder how many times have people thrown that to his face, “Oh, that’s a good one, very clever. Never heard that before,” he laughs sarcastically and it sounds stiffer than he might’ve wanted, “Well, I guess we aren’t so different after all, you’re parents orphaned you too with their lack of love and attention.”
That did the trick perfectly. The basketball team might be Jason’s friends, but they could also recognize a good burn when they heard it and even Chrissy had to laugh. Eddie’s Cheshire smile was back and so were his eyes on her, clearly pleased that it made her laugh too.
Chrissy wants to say something to him, anything , now or never, and with Jason glaring down at her all she could do was give him a little wave. It was as brave as she could do right now, hoping that he would understand.
It earns her a half nod, “Hey, Chrissy,” Eddie says in a laidback manner, only his intense gaze betraying his cool exterior, and she has no fucking clue how he manages to make two words sound so unbelievably charming.
She doesn't have time to mumble an answer. Eddie walks away from her table, shoving his hands in his pockets and out of her reach. Chrissy shoots up, ignoring the piercing stares and fully intending of following him, damn everyone else.
“Sit. Down!” Jason grabs her by the hand and pulls her down to her seat before she could move any more. He uses too much force and Chrissy yelps as she falls on her ass. With that, the wall cracks and the damn breaks down.
“What’s your problem!” Chrissy snaps, jerking her hand away.
“The fuck is yours!?” Jason counters and they’re totally making a scene now, but she doesn’t find it in herself to care anymore, “What the fuck is going on with you and the freak?”
Chrissy glares and she swears she sees red spots, “None of goddamn your business.”
Jason looks taken aback, but scowls at her anyway, trying to take control of the situation, “It is my goddamn business when it’s about my girlfriend! What’d he do to you, huh? What’d you let him do to you?”
She scoffs, picking up her lunch in one hand and her book bag in the other, not even bothering to talk back. Jason was an insufferable brute when he got like this. Well, fuck him then if he doesn’t want to behave like a mature person. Chrissy held her head high, hanging on to whatever dignity she had, and walks away from the table without saying another word.
“Chrissy, come back here!” Jason clicks his tongue as if she was some dog.
Chrissy was beyond insulted at this point. She doesn't look back, storming through the door.
—————
Pulling a green sweater for her duffel bag, Chrissy shudders slightly at the cold wind as she settles down on the picnic table. Her hair, back, and underarms were damp from sweat after the extensive cheer practice, and it’s sticky and cold and uncomfortable and now she really wishes she had hit the showers even if it meant putting on the same soaked uniform afterward. At least with a shower, she wouldn’t be looking like a tsunami hit her.
Her bubblegum pink nails start picking at the worn-down table, making a little pile of chipped wood. She’s nervous, and while she could pin it to the fact that the sky was getting darker and she had no ride home Chrissy knew that the real reason for her worries was that Eddie might not even show up.
Why would he? They never agreed at any moment to meet up today.
Last time, Chrissy was the one that went searching for Eddie, all skittish and mumbling, and though he was very much surprised she was talking to him, he told her to meet him in the forest behind the school after class. She guessed it was where he usually made deals without getting caught by school staff. That made sense. What didn’t make sense was for Chrissy to come back when they hadn’t discussed it before and expect him to magically show up.
After the cafeteria incident, Chrissy didn’t see him for the rest of the day. They weren’t in the same year so they didn’t share any classes, but Eddie wasn’t in the cafeteria during the second-period break. Chrissy would’ve been freaking out thinking it was because of her if the rest of the Hellfire Club members were present too, but the entire table was empty. They were most likely organizing their next meeting –session? She wasn’t sure– and decided to skip lunch.
It greatly soothed her worries knowing that Eddie was probably okay. Jason had certainly a lot to say about Eddie’s absence but Chrissy didn’t hear any of it, tunning him out the second he opened his mouth.
“This is so stupid,” Chrissy says to herself, sweeping away her little pile of wood chips with her hand and swinging her duffle bag over her shoulder, ready to go back home walking since she missed the last bus.
Even though no one saw her come here after practice, she was embarrassed. Embarrassed that she had harbored hope that she and Eddie could be something more than strangers. So what if he was the best person she had met in her life? So what if he made her laugh and feel comfortable enough to be herself? Eddie saw her as nothing more than a client and the little girlfriend of the biggest jerk in school.
“God.” Chrissy rubs a hand over her heated face, feeling more humiliated the more she thought about it.
Eddie was two years her senior for christ's sake! Contrary to popular belief by self-entitled rich teenagers, he was a grown man. Outside the bubble of high school, he was a fucking adult. He had a job. He had a band. He probably had older and cooler friends to smoke and drink with after school. What the hell was she doing here?
The sound of leaves crunching brought her back to reality. Her body tenses and she quickly turns her head around, both hands gripping the duffel bag. Chrissy half-expects it to be a middle-aged school attendant asking her what she was doing there after class hours, or maybe a very flustered couple with a pack of condoms and no shame for public exhibitions.
What she doesn't expect is Eddie Munson, cursing after almost tripping over a fallen branch.
“Son of a bitch!” he yells at the tree as if that would make it disappear from his sight. His eyebrows were scrunched together in deep thought right up until his eyes landed on Chrissy. He stops mid-step and looks just as surprised as she was, “Hey.”
Words struggle to come out and after a pause of silence, Chrissy manages a breathy, “Hi.”
“You came,” Eddie says as he walks into the clearing, and he sounds so confused, like he couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that she was actually there.
Chrissy looks at the ground, “You came too.” She tries so hard not to sound small. Because she wasn’t, she really wasn’t, but boys usually preferred that she was so she learned to be it. Eddie was different though, he liked noise and loudness, and it felt so unbelievable good to break away from expectations. Don’t you dare stutter, Christina!
Eddie smiles, and it’s so kind that her heart jumps.
“Of course I came.” He crosses his arms over his stomach, crouching slightly to search for her face, and continues only after she meets his eyes, “I had to apologize to you.”
That throws her off. Chrissy sits back on the bench, puts her duffel bag on the floor, and looks up at Eddie, “To me? What? Why?”
Eddie sighs, grabbing a piece of his long hair and fiddling with it between his index and thumb, “For what happened at the cafeteria,” he explains, making a face, “I was way out of line. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of Craver but I shouldn’t have gone up there and ruffled your boyfriend’s feathers on purpose, much less put you in the middle of it. I’m sorry if I caused any problems between you two.”
Chrissy nods in understanding. Truth be told, Jason confronted her about what happened after biology, one of the few classes they had together. Saying that he was mad was the understatement of the year. ‘ What the fuck was that, Chrissy?’, ‘Are you friends with that freak?’, ‘Has he talked to you?’, ‘Did he force you into his cult?’, ‘You two seemed casual, has he touched you?’, ‘Did you let him?’. Unluckily for Jason, who was probably expecting Chrissy to burst into tears and confess her sins, she was furious with him. About the arm, his words, and his behavior.
Chrissy coldly walked right past him without denying anything.
Who did he think he was? Screaming at her in front of their classmates and nearly calling her a slut. Chrissy firmly believed that people showed their true colors behind closed walls, and at that moment she saw Jason for who he really was. Not with a pink lens or heart bubbles, but with a grain of salt. He was insecure, possessive, callous, and had clearly very little respect for her.
Eddie, on the other hand, who was the one that got insulted in front of everyone and had more than one good reason to be upset with the world, was standing in front of her with complete sincerity and maturity, apologizing for his mistakes and concerning himself only about what could’ve happened to her. Here, the mask that Eddie used to protect himself was off. He wasn’t mean, or scary, or roguish as everyone paints him to be.
Eddie was ten times the man Jason could ever dream of being.
“Jason was out of line too. I-I still can’t believe he said those things to you! I should be the one apologizing on behalf of him since he sure as hell won’t be the bigger man,” Chrissy fumbles her way through, twisting her fingers together.
A big hand lands on her shoulder and she freezes. It feels nothing like Jason’s, Eddie’s hand is warm, unassuming, and light, a comforting presence all around.
“You don’t have to apologize on anyone’s behalf. Your boyfriend is a big boy with big boy pants and he can either hold his own or fuck off,” Eddie says softly and yet condescendingly, though he cringes at the last part. Chrissy can see he’s having a hard time balancing his antagonizing views about Jason and still respecting him as her boyfriend at the same time. She appreciates the effort, “Besides, I totally deserve it, I was the one who started it.”
Chrissy grumbles, “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. Jason had no right–”
“If I can play with the fire I can take the heat, Chrissy Cunningham,” he says, pulling his hand away and his tone tells her to drop the subject. It breaks her heart a little and she wants to tell him he doesn’t have to put up with it, but she decides not to push.
Instead, she comes up with another question, one that has been burning in her mind and desperately ached to be answered.
“So. . . umm. . . when you came to the cheerleader’s table, where you just looking to taunt Jason or. . . or did you actually wanted to talk to me?” Chrissy asks and she immediately regrets it. The apple of her cheeks turns bright red as Eddie’s eyes widen and averts his gaze to the side.
She wants to scream, or run away, or maybe combust into flames. Whatever is quicker. If she wasn’t embarrassed before, now she wanted to die. How egocentric was that?! She condemns Jason for being self-absorbed and then turns around and goes on to think that she’s the center of the universe to someone else.
Chrissy is about to apologize for being so forward when Eddie groans to the sky, throwing his head back. She’s lost for words as she watches him stomp over the bench and sit on the table, right next to her. He props his elbows on his knees and hunches down to her eye level.
Eddie. . . is so close to her. She doesn’t know what to do with her hands. Her eyes wander to the long frizzy curtain of curly hair she really wants to rake her fingers through, the tattoo on his collarbone that’s peeking over the loose Hellfire Club shirt, the metal rings shining in his hands as if they were teasing her, and finally on the sheepish way his lips formed a smile.
It sparks something inside of her that threatens to consume her.
“Fuck, I knew it was so stupid to do that!” he chortles, shaking his head. He sighs again, long and deep, “Yeah, I really wanted to talk to you,” Eddie admits and Chrissy is in awe at how effortless it sounds, like this was something they regularly talked about, “Lunch break is the only time I see you and I felt like such a dick for not waving back at you this morning in the hallway. I just didn’t want people thinking you were hanging out with Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson.”
She was right about why he ignored her earlier. It was one less anxious thought out of her head, but her previous nuisance came rushing back, making her angry all over again. So what if they waved at each other in the halls and people saw it or, god forbid, thought they were actually friends? Now more than ever Chrissy understood Eddie’s aversion to social cliques.
“But we are hanging out,” she says earnestly. People had told her before that she puffs her cheeks every time she got so serious and end up looking like an angry hamster, so she really hoped it was either a lie or that he at least didn’t make fun of her.
Eddie blinks, then reiterates, “As friends, I mean.”
“But we are friends!” Chrissy dares to argue because she has absolutely no idea if Eddie considered her a friend. Again, it was really self-absorbed to assume something like that, but she had enough courage to give it a shot. She holds in her breath and waits for him to break the silence; she’s nervous as all hell, her legs shaking under her skirt, but she feels like she knows Eddie sufficiently to know for sure that he would be gentlemanly enough to turn her down easy. He wouldn’t mock her or say something offensive, maybe tell her something along the lines of ‘you’re a nice girl and all, but all my friends are older, have similar interests as me, and are not preppy insecure cheerleaders with idiotic, egomaniac boyfriends. Sorry’.
“Yeah, we are,” Eddie says finally, and the fog that was clouding her sight suddenly dispersed. Eddie tilts his head to the side and leans even closer to her. Chrissy notes, absently, that his eyes weren’t black but a really dark chocolate brown color, “What’s with the face?” he teases with an exaggerated frown and then pulls away much too soon for her liking, “Is there something in my hair?”
Chrissy snorts, sharp and loud, and then closes her mouth. She thinks better of it and opens it again, “No, I. . . we are so different, I thought that maybe I was way over my head when you showed me kindness and I just assumed we were friends.”
Eddie hums, nodding slightly and Chrissy can actually see the gears in his head turning, pensive.
“To be honest with you, I’ve been thinking about it ever since I drove you home last Friday,” he starts and he’s serious again, so she listens and hangs on to every word, “Look, Chrissy, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like I don’t realize we’re not equal. I’m not an idiot, I’m well aware of my situation and lifestyle compared to yours. After dropping you off, it only took me one look at your house and neighborhood to know we lived in two different worlds.” Chrissy's throat closes. So it was a rejection and a pretty honest one at that. She would be appreciative if it didn’t hurt so much, but she doesn’t dare to interrupt, “I don’t consider myself a bad person, but I’m not a good influence either. As much as I hate to admit it, those snobby cheerleaders and jocks are healthier crowds than me.”
Rebecca, Diana, Ben. . . were okay. The girls were nice enough to her and always invited her to many parties, but deep down she knew it was because of her family’s status and because she landed as cheer captain in freshman year. The boys she was less at ease with. Sometimes they were gross, forceful, and more often than not drove heavily intoxicated around town. That’s why she decided to use the public bus ever since last year.
Of course, through Eddie’s outcast eyes they were her type of crowd, but Chrissy has never been able to connect with any of them. And she was ashamed of that so she didn’t say anything.
Her quietness got Eddie’s attention and his hand was on her shoulder, “Hey, you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m okay,” she smiles, noticing once again how quickly he was to know something was upsetting her just by looking at her.
Chrissy wonders how much longer it was going to take for Eddie to tell her right in her face that he actually didn’t want to be her friend, maybe be just an acquaintance she would wave at in the corridors between morning classes and keep a safe distance between. That should be enough for her, but a selfish part of her was bitter that that was the most she would ever get from him.
“Despite all of that and against my better judgment, Miss Chrissy Cunningham, I still want to be your friend.” The playful tone in his voice came back in a sudden switch and the saccharine ‘miss’ title told her the heavy part was over, “I’m rotted to the core, but I enjoy your company too much to stop. I’m selfish like that.” He winks at her. It’s mischievous and yet so overwhelmingly honest.
What’s even more overwhelming is the way her body comes alive with excitement and relief. She feels like jumping out of her skin and her heartbeat is deafening in her ears. She tries hard to dissimulate her childlike mirth, but she’s pretty sure Eddie can hear her buzzing because he laughs. It’s deep and so carefree that Chrissy can’t help but giggle.
“Damn, if I knew it would make you this happy I would’ve told you sooner. Maybe not in front of your boyfriend, but sooner,” he says, voice soft and silky smooth.
Oh, right. Jason. Her boyfriend. For some reason, her brain couldn’t find the correlation between those two words. Though she was still very much angry at Jason, she couldn’t help but feel guilty. This wasn't normal. It wasn’t normal for her to feel like this for someone who wasn’t her boyfriend and while Jason was a jerk, he didn’t deserve being backstabbed like this. Even if nothing has happened between her and Eddie, this counted as cheating in her book.
She wouldn’t betray Jason, but she couldn’t continue with him either.
“Actually, I’ve been thinking. . .” about breaking up with him, the rest gets stuck in her tongue.
“About what?” Eddie prompts, tilting his head again and Chrissy wants to coo at the adorable puppy-like similarities.
Chrissy shakes her head. Yep, definitely not normal.
“Nevermind,” she says. No, she can’t tell Eddie, he was smart and he would immediately know it would be because of him. That would definitely put him in the spot and that was just pushing her luck. It was more than pushing it when he agreed to be her friend, much less suggest a relationship, that would be overkill. And a sure way to get quickly –and possibly less gently– rejected, jeopardizing their new friendship.
Thankfully, Eddie doesn’t pressure her into telling him, so he steers the conversation, “I want to be your friend, Chrissy, but I don’t want to disrupt your uptown life with my crap. I won’t sell you ketamine, sorry, weed is fine though, and I’ll try not to keep you for myself as late as I did Friday. The last thing I want is your parents to ground you because of me or call the cops on my ass. Can’t promise you I won’t kick Jason’s ass if I need to, you’ll have to forgive me, but I promise I won't pull the same shit I did today.”
She knows he’s half-joking about kicking Jason’s ass, but she accepts whatever she can. Besides, after she breaks up with Jason, she didn’t really care that much if he got his ass handed to him by a senior, he could use some humbling.
“Okay, fair enough,” she agrees, laughing a bit at the idea, “Do you think maybe I could sit at your table sometime?”
Eddie lights up, quite literally, “Sure you can, the Hellfire Club is open to anyone who dares to go against concerned parents and bullshitting psychologist,” he grins, all teeth, making her blush, “I must warn you, princess, it might be scary for newbies. Satanic worship, ritual sacrifice, sodomy, suicide, and murder isn’t for the weak-hearted.”
Chrissy shivers, not because of the violent allegations but because of the deep rumble that comes from his chest and into her. Her hands bunch in her skirt. Jesus, how does he do it?
She laughs a little awkwardly, elbowing his leg to divert his attention, “Please! They’re just looking for something to blame for their shitty kids’ behavior. I doubt a fantasy game is at fault for terrible parenting.”
“Right on the money, princess,” Eddie says and he looks thoroughly impressed, “You have to meet Henderson, I feel like you two would really get along. Wheeler is more uptight with his teenage angst, but once he’s in his element he’s like one of the best players I’ve ever seen. Sinclair is the newest one, but she really knows her stuff and she never backs down from a challenge.”
Chrissy beams, excited to meet the kids Eddie spoke so much about. The Hellfire Club had a lot more members than she thought –from freshmen to seniors, the club didn’t discriminate– and everyone sounded so different from the people she was used to. Maybe she could befriend some of them if they could look past the cheer uniform and the reputation that she never asked for following her everywhere.
Their conversation flowed naturally, high or sober, it was all the same. Chrissy felt even more comfortable in his presence, if that was even possible, now that she knew they were more than strangers or schoolmates. There was still a lot in her mind; Jason, her parents, her friends, but most of all, her feelings for the kind-hearted metalhead next to her.
All of that could wait for later. It was something between her and her fuzzy pillows and a good night’s sleep. Right now, though, she focuses on basking in these few hours of safety and distractions with Eddie.
The sun eventually settles to make way for the night and Eddie offers her a ride home. Thank god, she didn’t feel like walking through the pitch-black dirt road, the easiest way to get lost, kidnapped, or mauled by an animal. Chrissy all but skips to his car and made herself comfortable in the passenger seat, flattening down loose hairs and buckling her seatbelt.
Eddie reaches to grab an opened cassette from the glove compartment, his hand brushing her knees, and then shows her the cover, grinning from ear to ear, “Check it out, got it last week. Pretty sweet.”
‘Master of puppets’ it reads and Chrissy helps him put it on the car’s deck as he pulls away from the school’s parking lot and into the dark night. There’s not one light outside and Chrissy cranks it up to the max volume. She opens her window to let the cutting air in and laughs loudly when Eddie howls as the first track starts, the abused speakers booming and the floor of the car vibrating with the ear-splitting guitar riffs and crash of cymbals.
She didn’t know the words. She didn’t need to. Her body felt alive, her heartbeat matching the rhythm of the drums. For a moment everything was still, it was just her and Eddie in the whole world, everything and everyone left in the back of her mind.
Chrissy sticks her head out of the window and screams into the night, Eddie crackling like a maniac and breaking many speed limits on the empty road; she feels truly and completely happy, something that was so long forgotten it felt foreign blooming in her chest as they drive back to her upside of town.