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There were so many things about being a teenager that they didn’t warn you about. They never told you about your emotions and how they threatened to drown you, how the people you knew for years became strangers and you broke hearts as fast as you earned them. They didn’t warn you about falling in love.
Teenagers were funny like that. They loved with all they had, threw their souls into partnerships destined to fail, hitching to broken wagons they thought they could fix. With ideals of Romeo and Juliet, of Bonnie & Clyde, of being more than the sum of their parts. Teenagers loved with every piece of their heart, and they would continue to throw their affections at the wall hoping they'd stick, hoping to be loved back with the same ferocity.
And the friends you made, kids learning how to exist together, building something stronger than they were alone. Friends when you’re young are strange, but boys become friends in a stranger way. Girls didn’t often stay friends forever, but guys? The boys you played video games with in middle school would attend your wedding one day, it just happened that way sometimes.
Minoru never really had friends, and then he met Denki.
Kaminari was perfect, with his abhorrent way of playing Tarcov that made Minoru tear up if he watched too long and his five slipknot shirts that looked the same but were apparently all different, his bright eyes like lightning, wild and untamed, his way of talking about the dumbest things only for Minoru to realize they've been talking for hours. They watched the same anime and loved the same songs, they swapped recommendations and it never felt awkward when there was silence.
Kaminari was his best friend, and despite Sero and him being close, Mineta considered himself Denki’s best friend too.
The problem with never having friends before was never knowing the boundaries he was supposed to follow. Guys were just like that with each other, joking around about the boundaries. Minoru just assumed Denki would correct him if he strayed from the stringent social norms that always breathed down their necks.
“I love you, bro.” He’d sit on the bed behind his friend's gaming chair, playing with the yellow cat ears of his headphones while he died repeatedly. These were the best nights, after struggling through homework and talking about everything and nothing.
“I love you too.” Denki always responded, usually with a pat on the head. (Mineta made a conscious effort to not let any balls stick unless he was feeling like a little shit in the moment. Until then, let him have his false sense of security, it wasn’t like Minoru liked the pats.)
Young people loved with all they had, staking everything.
Mineta loved Denki, he was his best friend. His only friend, aside from the classmates that tolerated him. Denki didn’t just let him be there, he interacted, he made Mineta feel like a person. Maybe that was where it all went wrong, staking everything on the one person that showed him love back.
There were days that made him question himself, days when he’d have his head resting in Denki’s lap while they played co-op on their switches. Half the time his eyes are on the screen and half the time looking up. He never saw anything from that angle, but somehow he couldn't help staring.
“Suck my dick.” He growled as Denki killed his character, blindly throwing an elbow that completely missed. One on the many insults they threw around, as non serious as any insult.
Kami snorted whenever he cursed, nose crinkled in a laugh only inside his head. “That’s gay.” Denki didn’t take his eyes away from the screen, but he stuck his tongue out like he knew Minoru was staring up at him.
“You fucking wish!” He threw himself back into the game as Denki laughed hard enough to jostle him until they both were a mess of giggles.
They had their banter, a constant back and forth of never ending innuendos, simply because that was the people they were. It was just them, and there was nothing to it.
Mineta loved Denki. As a friend.
He loved the way he’d tie his hair up into a ponytail on the very top that looked absolutely ridiculous. He loved how he had freckles that only showed up in the sun, and how much Denki hated them. He loved his voice and his smile and how he made Mineta feel seen in a way no one else had ever bothered to try with him. Mineta didn’t have many horses to bet on, maybe that's why he bet so much on Denki.
When Denki played games and rested his tongue between his teeth, or that time he tried to dye his hair without help and ended up creating a black splotch so bad he'd nearly cut his hair short. The way he thought any movie created in the last decade had ‘no charm’ but watched an anime the second it came out, the way he smiled with his entire body and made the air around him crackle with static shock that made Minoru’s fingers tingle.
He loved him.
Oh god.
He really did.
And it was in that endless overwhelming emotion that Minoru truly realized how fucked he was.
Because when nobody loved you, you loved a little too hard in response. You twisted what you were given because you were so desperate for human touch.
He watched Denki start to fall in love, truly that way teenagers did, with his dick and his heart, with everything he had. Watched the sappy long looks towards Jirou that made a part deep inside ache. He listened to every passionate rant about her, and out of some misguided care, or dislike, he never dared touch her, it was easier to ignore her entirely.
He let Denki love, and he’d still be the best friend, always a phone call away when he inevitably moved up in life to follow greater ambitions. He’d never give up on Denki, and he’d probably be his best man if he asked.
Teenagers loved with everything they had, willing to give everything away. Minoru wouldn’t stop loving him, but he’d let him be a proper teenager. No one needed a misguided friend with delusions of grandeur, certainly not Denki.
“She’s so amazing.” Kami sighed, throwing himself back against his mattress hard enough to make Mineta bounce. They stared at the ceiling, Kami’s hair fanned out and Minoru’s forcing his neck up at an angle because fuck comfort.
“I know.” And he did. They would be a good couple, and he truly believed Jirou would treat Denki well once she got to know him better. They fit together in a way that he and Denki never would, they matched up in a way he and Denki were mismatched. He stared holes in the off white ceiling until he couldn't help looking over to memorize his friend like he did so much these days.
Kaminari was beautiful, perfect skin and these soft smiles when he was deep in thought that tore Mineta’s mind in two as he fought to show respect in his own head. His eyes were closed, chest rising and falling slowly as he hummed some American pop song that neither of them actually knew the words to.
“I love you.” He said into the silence, trying to force some life in his tone, like it was the same thoughtless declaration they always made and not a confession.
He watched Denki’s smile grow a little wider, a little brighter.
“I love you too.” Automatic and honest, because he knew Denki really did love him, just not in the same fucked up way Mineta loved him back.
Mineta rolled onto his side when the sight got to be too much, forcing himself to count the individual strands of hair on the Grudge poster hanging by his head as Denki started to talk again.
Mineta was a teenager, not quite sure of his place in the universe as he started to mature with everyone else. He was young and foolhardy, smart as a whip but woefully dumb, full of ideas he’d forget one day as fast as he thought them.
Teenagers loved with everything they had, and they lost with everything too.
He’d grow up and move on, but they said you never forgot your first love. He could live with that. That was loving after all, wanting the best for them and knowing you weren’t that best. Moving on and growing up and keeping your secrets close to your chest where they were safe. The feelings themselves would fade with time, a dying plant he’d refuse to water for his own sanity.
He loved Denki.
And no matter how much he wanted to work things out, to find a balance that didn’t make his chest ache, to have Denki understand for just one second what he was saying, he was old enough to know that teenagers were stupid.
Yes, there were so many things about being a teenager they didn’t warn you about, like how your friend’s touch could make your heart race, how you sometimes found yourself wanting to kiss someone you’d never thought about in that way before. They didn’t tell you it would hurt so much to be fifteen.
It was okay though. Mineta was a hero, and one day he’d find someone to love him. A girl that didn’t play Junkrat while screaming in the worst aussie accent, that never misheard an american song in the most offensive ways, that never shocked him when he threw his arms around her strong shoulders. He’d find someone someday, and until then, he’d just keep loving with all he had. Maybe one day it would stick.