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"Tch. I don't trust her."
"Little bird, you don't trust anyone."
"Nonsense, Nightwing. I trust you… and some other members of this family."
Nightwing and the youngest Robin were mimicking their namesakes, perching high on an obscured railing of the upper levels of the Bat Cave, tucked behind the T-Rex and some pillars supporting high walkways. Both had their eyes glued onto the odd scene playing out under them. And like the flock they were, it wasn’t long before the rest of the bat ‘kids’ joined in the shadows.
“What’s she doing here?” Unison sounds of skepticism came from Jason and Steph, albeit quietly to keep themselves hidden.
Cass and Duke remained silent, more curious than riled like the rest. But both turned to look at Tim when he stalked his way over, holo-watch on full display, to show video footage of the natmobile entering the cave.
“The Bat let her in here.” He whispered in a way that showed that even the best detective didn’t have answers to this mystery. Silence washed over each of them as their expressions became a mutual mix of confusion and concern. But as the voices below picked up, they ducked into the shadows once more.
---
“I’m tellin’ ya Batsy, all that fightin’ crime’s gotta be bad for your back. You should join Wednesday Yoga with me and Ives! It’s early in the mornin’ too so ya don’t gotta worry about being all mysterious and broody. Unless ya sleep all morning, then maybe we can resched’ for late afternoons. S’not good for ya health if yer not sleepin’ right though.”
The thing about… some of Gotham’s rogues was that they were more or less people that were given a bad hand in life and played what they had. Misunderstood with decent intentions. With proper guidance and therapy, most of them could have existed with the rest of Gotham. But with Arkham Asylum’s constant misuse and siphoning the funds he gave them for security rather than healthcare, there was a reason things got fixed so slowly.
Poison Ivy’s whole manifesto was protecting the planet from humanity. Sure it was eco-terrorism at times, but he could get behind the cause. Climate change was very real and people needed to realize that before the only home they had was destroyed. Not everyone could be super powered aliens that could just move to another planet. The last few companies he bought he made sure to keep them as eco-friendly as possible. Even started an entire volunteer service dedicated to cleaning up Gotham.
Mr. Freeze was trying to save his wife and the very company he worked for pulled the plug as he made a breakthrough. Batman knew familial loss. It was thanks to Alfred he didn’t end up as a villain. And a lot of companies had pretty awful CEOs that only cared about money. Bruce Wayne couldn’t buy them all (although he had realistically budgeted to certainly try) he did buy that particular company and was currently helping Freeze find a cure for himself since they couldn’t save his wife.
Hell, even Riddler just needed someone to entertain him and his riddles every now and then. Tim and Steph always kept him busy just by playing his games. It was babysitting at this point and once they even got Riddler to host an event for charity. The kids loved it. There was no damage done. Batman remembered actually using his pool to relax that day.
And then there was Harley Quinn. Divorced from her partnership with the Joker and currently married -the legality and officialness of stealing a priest aside- to Ivy. Batman attended the wedding from a relatively safe distance, not wanting to alert the other rogues in attendance, but was also there to clean up some of the chaos that followed. And now that Harley wasn’t (as she called it) brainwashed by the Joker, she was less of a criminal and more just a clown with a PHD and time on her hands. And on worse occasions, basically a pest.
Fortunately, she spent most of her ‘pest’ time doing petty crimes that didn’t do much more than steal a couple thousands of dollars from large corporations. Stealing clothes? Unnecessary but no one was ever hurt. Robbing a museum? Well, she was with Catwoman and they specifically made mention that they were putting the artifact where it belonged. And they did. Batman didn’t see the crime in that. Other times, she was helping Ivy rebuild Gotham into something more beautiful. No one complained about how the flora livened up Gotham’s usually depressing and scary streets. Except during allergy season, but you can’t win them all.
Most times, a heavy sigh and a meaningful “Harley.” deterred her from being a menace and switched her into ‘doctor mode’. She’d badger him to take a nap or go eat a meal, which in hindsight, he had to admit that it was nice that she used her skill for a kinder cause. It was even nicer when she decided to make sure the other rogues weren’t causing too much trouble for him sometimes. He could actually get breaks in nowadays. Alfred was certainly happy about it.
“Oi, Bats? Earth ta Bats!” She poked at him with a pout while he stared at a scrolling list on the batcomputer. “I know you’re ignorin’ me. I’ll start pushin’ all these buttons if you don’t-”
“Harleen.”
He had the same amount of irritation he had for his own children: an empty threat that was more of a plea to relax. As a bat and a part of the family, it was only logical that each of them knew the ins and outs of each rogue in Gotham’s gallery. Knowing how they came to be was part of the knowledge of how to stop them. But this… something felt different.
Before any of them could say a word, Tim leaned forward, hands gripping the railing with an expression that could only be described as ‘What is going on!?’
And if the detective that figured out who Batman was didn’t know, well, all of them were at a loss.
Much like Batman, there was one thing every Robin and previous Robin despised: not having answers. This went double for the youngest Robin, unhappy about having missing pieces to this weird puzzle. Unlike the rest of them, he was more willing to be proactive about it. Just as he prepared himself to jump off the railing, ready for confrontation, Dick snatched the bird in midair and tumbled backwards into the shadows before Batman and Harley could spot them.
“Are you crazy?! We can’t just go down there and start interrogating!” Tim hissed as Damian struggled to break free from the hug-hold Dick had put him in.
“B will shut down the moment we gang up on him, you know that.” Jason peered behind his cover when he was sure the two had focused on their conversation again.
“Especially if he’s got some scheme he didn’t tell us about.” Steph chimed in.
“We could always… just go up and ask nicely…?” All eyes fell on Duke and he shrunk back a little wondering how that was out of line, but ambushing him wasn’t.
“He’s right.” Those same eyes fell on Cass as she pulled her mask over her face and similar to Damian, jumped off the railing.
Before Duke slipped his helmet on, he puffed up just a little. “Cass says I’m right.” No one ever fought with Cassandra.
---
"Soooo Batsy, we fightin' some crime? Kickin' butt and takin' names? Oooh or are we goin' ta go brood on the highest building in Gotham and wait for 'em to come out in the open?" Harley had gotten comfortable in Batman’s computer chair, spinning away as he stood next to her, quietly typing away. “C’moon why’d you even bring me here if all you were gonna do was ignore me?!”
“Yes. Why?” Cassandra dropped in from the darkness, as intimidating as they came, ready for her question to be answered. As she stepped forward, Damian landed right behind her. Then Jason. Then Tim. Then Steph. Duke took a more approachable and less dramatic tactic by walking down the spiraling ramp and Dick followed suit in a more energetic and acrobatic slide down the railing.
“Usually we get warnings about company.” Dick chimed in, pushing Damian’s sword back into its sheath before Damian could take it out.
“Eep! You gotta swarm, Batsy you should really close yer windows.” Her mock fear was replaced with giggles as she continued to spin in the chair. “Hiya Robins and Robin adjacents!”
Like the tired father he was, Batman pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Harleen, you hopped in my car asking about anniversary gifts for Ivy. I didn’t invite you here.”
“OH RIGHT!” She hopped up in her seat.
“You certainly didn’t kick her out of the car either.” Jason watched as Harley bounced around. He wasn’t particularly on guard, but even behind his helmet the confusion in his voice was palpable.
“No, because-”
“That’s cuz I plan on fightin’ crime with yer dear old Batsy!” Harley interrupted. She started to lean on Jason, only for him to step back and watch her stumble forward. “Penguino’s up to some shady business with Clayface. And Ives found out a… dear ol’ friend a mine has come from hidin’ to participate... So I can personally say hello.” The sudden change in Harley’s jovial demeanor into something more violent made the group raise curious brows, whether seen or not. “I’m still workin’ out all the details, but ideally it’s gonna end with Joker in a ditch with several broken bones.”
“Oh. Okay, I’ve changed my mind. She can stay.” The amusement in Jason’s voice was palpable. “I’ll even be your sidekick for this one, B.”
The other Robins (and Robin adjacents) seemed to look at each other coming to the same conclusion. It wasn’t their problem and Harley seemed to be doing something good. Tim, however, still had questions. “That doesn’t explain why she was allowed in here though.”
“The gals are busy so I came to Mister Angry Bat for help. And he can’t deny civilian help.”
“It’s being added to her community service.” Batman filled in, his cape swaying as he walked in between them to replace his utility belt with one that looked exactly the same. “Nightwing. If the Joker is out-”
Nightwing took steps backwards with a casual air to him. “Yeaah, check his old hidey holes. I’m on it. Birds you’re with me.” He pointed a thumb behind him as Robin and Red Robin darted off. “Batgirl, Spoiler, Signal-”
“Perimeter check.” Batgirl led the group out.
Signal put a thumbs up to Nightwing. “We got it.”
“Red?” Nightwing looked at Red Hood, who was walking towards the passenger seat of the batmobile.
“Oh I’m getting front row seats for this. C’mon Harley, you’ve got a clown to murk. Let’s go B, we can’t be late for this!” Red Hood placed his feet on the dash and raised a hand, high fiving as Harley hopped in the back.
Batman, a father of too many, watched as his family scattered to their respective jobs. With a sigh fit for a telenovela, he walked to the batmobile thinking that maybe the day would end a lot more peacefully than it was going.
And then a message popped up in the lens of his cowl.
‘See you at the Gala, 9pm! -C’
Maybe he could get away with sleeping in tomorrow.