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Pacing. Endless pacing.
The Rebels were on his mind tonight. Although, they had been for several nights. Their plans were confusing him. But more importantly their plans were hurting the people he loves.
The person he loves.
Kiva was kidnapped. Thankfully his cousin found her and brought her back to the safety of the palace. But he was terrified.
He had lost her, failed to protect her.
He had almost done that during the water trial at Zalindov. Thank god she ended up being alright.
But he couldn’t slip up again. There’s already been too many close calls.
The last thing he’d ever do is take away her freedom. But he just hoped, wished, that she’d be a little bit more cautious.
It would break him if anything happened to her.
A knock interrupted his thoughts and he suddenly realised how dark it had gotten outside his window.
Who would ever be up this late at night?
Jaren opened the door and he was shocked to see who was in front of him.
Tipp.
“Tipp, what are you doing up at this hour?” Jaren asked before noticing the tears surfacing Tipp’s eyes. “What’s wrong?” He asked, kneeling down to Tipp’s level.
“K-Kiva she is crying in her sleep and I d-don’t know what to do.” He said sobs filling his voice.
A rush of adrenaline ran through Jaren and he grabbed Tipp’s hand.
“Come on, we’ll go check up on he together.”
“I t-t-tried waking her.” Tipp explained to Jaren. “B-But she wasn’t waking up.”
Jaren comforted Tipp on the rest of the trip to Kiva’s room. Once they reached her room Jaren felt himself tense.
It was clear what was happening to her. A nightmare. He had expected her to have at least a couple, considering how many he had had.
He reminded himself that he was also sleep deprived from all the meetings and that probably didn’t help.
“I don’t know what t-t-to do.” Tipp said to him. “She was screaming a-a-and I–”
“It’s ok buddy. I’ll wake her, don’t worry.”
And Jaren did just that, calling out her name until she woke up.
She started attacking him at first, throwing punches at his chest until she realised who he was.
“It was just a nightmare,” He told her, holding her in his arms. “You’re safe. I’m here. I’m here."
“J-J-Jaren?” She stuttered, clearly overwhelmed.
It hurt him to see her like this, to see the person he loved in pain.
“Is she a-all right?” Tipp asked from the doorway.
“She’ll be fine,” He answered, still holding Kiva in his arms. “You did the right thing, coming to get me. Why don’t you go and wake Ori, have a sneaky hot cocoa, then go back to sleep. You can talk to her in the morning.”
He hesitated but then left Kiva and Jaren alone in the room, shutting the door behind him.
Jaren carefully ran his fingers through her hair in an attempt to calm her down. “I have them, too, you know. The dreams. Ever since Zalindov.”
“What do you dream about?” She whispered, her face buried against his neck.
“I dream of darkness, I dream of death," He shared. “I dream of you falling from that tower and me not catching you in time. I dream of you walking into the crematorium and never coming back out. I dream of — of —” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I dream of finding you at the bottom of the quarry, not breathing. I dream of you dying, over and over, while I just stand there, watching.”
Kiva went silent for a while and Jaren feared what she might have been thinking. He hoped it helped her with her own nightmares. He hoped it made her realise she's not alone.
He's there for her. No matter what.
“I saw you getting whipped.”
He tensed. All the memories of that moment vividly coming back to him. His back was covered in scars since then. But the memory of it all, knowing how much it hurt Kiva and how worried he was when Naari told him Kiva has been locked in a dark room by herself for a week, that hurt him more than the actual whipping.
“It was my fault. You — You saved me, and he — he hurt you.”
He could hear the sobs in her voice and he held her tighter on reflex.
He kissed her temple. “Sweetheart,”
“I’m so sorry,” She apologised. “I never said it to you before. I should have said it to you before.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He assured her.
“I didn’t say thank you, either,” She said, ignoring his previous statement. “You saved my life, and I never said thank you. I — I was so angry that you’d lied to me, but you still — you still saved me. I’m alive because of you. What kind of person doesn’t say thank you?”
Sensing how bad she felt over this, Jaren made sure to comfort her. “I’m sure you thanked me.
“I didn’t,” She held onto him tighter. “I didn’t.”
“All right, then you’re saying it now,” He said to her.
“I should have said it sooner.”
“You’re saying it now,” He reminded her.
Kiva held onto Jaren, quieter than ever. It was clear to him that a thousand thoughts were racing in his mind, if only he could be there in her mind with her. He could help her through everything, be there for her every second.
But he couldn't. And he just hoped she would come to him when she needs him.
“I’m sorry,” She said once more, her voice breaking.
“You already said that, beautiful."
After a couple minutes, he was able to hear light snoring from Kiva and was satisfied that she had fallen asleep. Hedetached her from him and placed the covers over her.
"Sweet dreams." He whispered before kissing her forehead.
He exited the room and smiled to himself when he saw Tipp outside Kiva’s room, half asleep.
Tipp had known Kiva for most of his life, it was only natural to assume that he would care about her this much.
“I-I-Is she ok?” Tipp asked.
“She’s fine.” He told Tipp before chuckling. “I thought I told you to get back to bed.”
“I was t-t-too worried about K-Kiva.”
“I was worried too.” He told Tipp. “Come on, you’ve got a full day of classes ahead of you, how about you get some sleep?”
Tipp nodded clearly sleepy.
As Jaren walked Tipp back to his room he could only hope that tomorrow would be a better day for them all.