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The first time Nagisa met this boy was when he was five years old and it was the first day of kindergarten.
Look-wise, there was nothing about him that ever stood out from the rest of the other children but already, to Nagisa, he was the brightest star in the room.
Nagisa was never really that talkative, never really that sociable. He was very shy even as a kid and he always found it hard to make friends and to communicate at times. He was nervous about kindergarten but as soon as he stepped through the doors, this boy with light green hair and bright purple eyes bounced up to him.
"Hi! I'm Hiyori Tomoe. Let's be friends! Let's colour, come on, come on!" Hiyori pulled Nagisa's hand and dragged him to a table with two other boys with paper spread out all over it and broken crayons and paint splattered everywhere. Nagisa shot a nervous look back to his mother as this boy came out of nowhere and started talking so energetically, but his mother only smiled, said 'I'll pick you up later, Nagi,' waved her hand and then walked away.
Nagisa didn't like this situation but it seemed this boy, Hiyori, wanted to be friends. At least Nagisa had a friend already.
"What's your name?" Hiyori asks Nagisa, as they arrive at the table and he plops down in his chair, legs dangling off of the ground, and he grabs the crayons and starts ferociously colouring in but being careful enough not to colour over the lines.
Nagisa was silent for a minute which caused Hiyori to stop what he was doing and look up, smiling.
"...My name... is Nagisa. Nagisa Ran," he eventually says.
Hiyori smiles brightly after hearing this. "Awesome!" He exclaims, "the one with the glasses there," Hiyori points out, "is Ibara!" All Nagisa gets in response is a nod.
"The one over here with the blue hair," Hiyori continues, "his name is Jun! We are best friends!" Jun doesn't say anything either but he did look up from his colouring and smile at Nagisa.
Nagisa already felt slightly better here, sitting and drawing with these new friends of his.
*
When it was snack time, a boy and his mother rushed in to the play room.
"Hello, sorry we're so late!" The mother exclaimed as she put the boy in her arms down and kissed him on the cheek before waving goodbye and rushing back out the door.
That was the first time Nagisa ever saw this boy. Appearance-wise, he had long-ish blond hair, not as long as Nagisa's but definitely longer than the rest of the other children there, and he had soft brown eyes. He didn't have any crazy-colored eyes or hair like anyone else in the room. Perhaps why he stood out so much more to Nagisa.
Hiyori peeked over at him. "Oh, Nagi, his name is Kaoru. He's always turning up late. He hangs out with scary people though. One is a vampire and one is a wolf," Hiyori finishes.
Nagisa was only five but... a vampire and a wolf? He had read about them in books but... they actually exist in real life? Now Nagisa was even more curious.
*
Over the next couple of weeks at kindergarten, Nagisa kept wishing he wasn't so shy, he wanted to be friends with Kaoru but he didn't know how to talk to him. Plus, Kaoru kept playing with another kid who had long-ish black hair and red eyes, which Nagisa came to learn was the 'vampire' Hiyori had mentioned.
It wasn't until one snowy November day that Nagisa ended up talking to that boy.
It was play time and the teacher was allowing them to play out in the snow, but to be careful of the ice. Hiyori, Jun and Ibara were already out the door and starting to make a snowman. Nagisa wanted to catch up to them and play too but he hadn't seen a small bit of ice by the steps and so he had slipped and fell on his knees.
Tears were welling up in his eyes and his knees were stinging. He sat there, sniffling occasionally, when another boy quickly ran to him.
"Are you okay?" This boy asks and Nagisa shakes his head.
The boy removes Nagisa's hands from his eyes and takes his hand and this is when Nagisa sees that the boy who helped him was Kaoru.
"Your knee is bleeding! I'll take you to the teacher for a bandage!" Kaoru exclaims and he struggles to lift Nagisa up but eventually manages to get him inside, in the warmth, and to the teacher.
Nagisa's beret was falling from his head and when he lifts his arms up to do so, Kaoru leaps in front and puts it back on for him. It's done messily, it's not how Nagisa wants it but Kaoru done it for him so he'll put up with it.
"You can't move!" Kaoru exclaims, "you're injured!" Nagisa looks a little confused, he injured his leg, not his arm but Kaoru only smiles and continues, "Let's play Doctor! I will look after you until your leg is all better."
Nagisa is more than happy to have Kaoru as his doctor.
*
It wasn't the way he'd have first liked to talked to Kaoru, having fallen over in front of him but Nagisa was glad. From that day onwards, even after Nagisa's leg was all better and he didn't need a doctor anymore, Kaoru still insisted that he does need one.
Kaoru and Nagisa spent most of their time at kindergarten playing with each other. Kaoru hardly played with Rei, the 'vampire', and Nagisa didn't spend that much time with Hiyori, Jun and Ibara.
Nagisa liked this, he liked playing with Kaoru and even more so, he liked playing with Kaoru by himself - just the two of them.
*
"Let's play Family!" Kaoru ran over to Nagisa to say.
A couple of days, Nagisa would sit and colour with his other friends as he liked doing it and although he loves playing with Kaoru, he does miss playing with his other friends sometimes.
"No, go away!" Hiyori stands up and says to Kaoru. "It's our turn to play with Nagi! You can play with him another day!"
Kaoru didn't look too happy with that.
"No!" Kaoru responds, "Me and Nagisa are best friends, he wants to play Family with me!"
"Nagi," Hiyori directs to him, "who do you want to play with? Do you really want to play that game with him? You want to colour with us!"
Nagisa was looking back and forth between Kaoru and Hiyori and the both of them looked like they were going to cry if Nagisa didn't pick them.
"...Why... Don't we just play Family... All together..."
Kaoru is beaming. Nagisa smiles inside.
"Nagi! Why!" Hiyori exclaims, "Do you not like to colour with us anymore?" Nagisa can see the tears begin to spill and Ibara and Jun don't look very happy either.
"But... Family... All together... We can play all together and we can still color... Can we not do that?"
Hiyori sniffles, "I just don't want to play with Kaoru. Plus, you're always playing with him! Why can't you play with us? You can play with Kaoru after snacks!"
Nagisa turns to look at Kaoru who's smile is going down, "...Yes. I will colour with... you, right now. We'll play Family after snacks, Kaoru."
Kaoru didn't look happy, he wanted to play with Nagisa right now but he nodded and walked towards his other group of friends.
Turning back around, the other three children were beaming brightly at Nagisa, happy and excited he decided to stay with them. Nagisa smiles back.
*
It was nearing the end of kindergarten and Nagisa spent the rest of the time alternating between playing with Kaoru and Hiyori. One day, Nagisa would play with Hiyori and his friends, the next day Nagisa would play with Kaoru and it worked out.
Now, it was nearing the end of kindergarten and they would be starting school soon. Everyone else was happy and eating snacks to celebrate their last day but Nagisa was sitting in a corner, knees up to his face and trying not to cry.
Everyone else here was going to the same school after, it meant he would still be with Hiyori, Ibara and Jun so he was happy about that. However, Kaoru was going to another school in a different country. This made Nagisa upset - he might not be able to see him again so although everyone was celebrating, Nagisa didn't want to.
He felt someone sit down next to him and they put their head on his shoulder.
"I'll miss you most, Nagisa," the voice said. Nagisa looked up to see Kaoru begin to lift his head as well. The tears were in both of their eyes now and Kaoru reached out to Nagisa's hand and clutched onto it tightly, his hands were sweaty and they were covered in paint but the past three years were so much fun and they were able to spend a lot of it together.
"You're my best friend forever and ever and we'll always be friends!"
- Was the last thing Kaoru had said to Nagisa.
*
The second time Nagisa met this boy was when he was fifteen years old and it was during the first year of high-school.
Nagisa was walking to class with Hiyori - Jun and Ibara had gone to a different school but they were still close friends - when Hiyori suddenly grabbed his hand and held onto it which made Nagisa smile.
They weren't officially together but from an outsider's perspective, it definitely looked like they were. It was more of a 'let's hold hands and sometimes kiss under a night sky when no one's looking' sort of thing. Neither had attempted to ask the other out.
What Nagisa wasn't aware of was that around the corner, another boy had seen all this occur and his heart was breaking little by little.
Kaoru had kept in contact with Rei - who, ten years later, is still a self-proclaimed vampire - and told Kaoru the school Nagisa was attending as Rei had also gone there.
Kaoru wasn't lying about them being friends forever - even if he was a kid and said it - and he missed Nagisa dearly but seeing the scene unfold in front of him, it's like Nagisa doesn't even remember Kaoru.
He came all the way here for nothing.
*
Kaoru tried his best to forget about the scene that happened previously in the day, he just wanted to get back to his dorm room to see who his roommates were.
He was hoping they weren't too loud and it was a shame he couldn't room with Rei as he was a year ahead of him.
Kaoru began searching through his bag and finally found his key and when he opened the dorm door, it took him a second to realise that there was two people that looked identical.
The both of them simultaneously turned their heads and one of them began to pack up their things.
"Hello!" One of them exclaims, "I'm Yuta Aoi, one of your roommates! There's supposed to be someone else but they haven't come in yet. Oh! And that's my brother, Hinata. We're twins."
The other boy - Hinata - smiles brightly at Kaoru and waves goodbye to his brother.
Kaoru watches him walk out the door before turning back to Yuta, "Hi, I'm Kaoru Hakaze. You two really are twins. I can't tell the difference at all."
Yuta laughs.
"We're identical, that's why. We're pretty easy to tell apart though. Hinata always wears pink, I always wear blue. We never wear the same colours!"
Kaoru nods and that's when laughing emerges from outside and two people nearly fall over trying to get into the door.
Both Yuta and Kaoru turn to look and it's when Kaoru sees him. His heart stops for a second, he's even more beautiful with a smile plastered on his face and his hair tied up in a ponytail.
The green-haired guy that Kaoru saw with him earlier follows from behind, giving Nagisa a kiss on the cheek before giggling and running off.
Nagisa is blushing and turns around to the other people in the room.
"...Oh. Hello, sorry about that...," he says and awkwardly scratches the back of his head.
Yuta gets up from his bed and goes towards the boy who just walked in.
"Hello! It's okay! My name's Yuta Aoi, I'm your roommate. And his," Yuta points to Kaoru, "name is Kaoru Hakaze! We're both your roommates. What's your name?"
Nagisa freezes for a second before regaining his posture. "...Nice to meet you. I'm Nagisa Ran," he says quietly.
Nagisa never forgot about him. How could he? He just assumed he would never see Kaoru again after he had moved out of the country and what are the odds of him showing back here again and coming to the exact same school as him?
It's been ten years and Kaoru looks the exact same as he did when he was a kid. He's taller now though, slightly taller than Nagisa, which is sort of funny as he was smaller than Nagisa when they were in kindergarten.
Nagisa only nods and pulls his suitcase from behind and making his way to an unoccupied bed.
It's 9pm and everyone's exhausted, Kaoru wants to talk to Nagisa again, wants to make up for all the years lost. He misses him. He missed him so much.
Not yet though.
Not for a while.
*
Yumenosaki Academy was a grand school, only for idols and producers. Only the ones who had real potential were accepted in and only if they passed a series of tests could they stay.
You had to join a unit here - you weren't allowed to be a solo unit. Kaoru had wanted to join Rei's unit but he was in one with two people already who were called Keito and Koga - Koga whom he vaguely remembers from kindergarten. Kaoru and Koga didn't keep in touch but they both know of each other and similarly to Rei, Koga was kept calling himself a 'wolf' in kindergarten, still resembles one now and it makes Kaoru laugh quietly.
Nagisa is in a unit too. One called 'fine'. It's one of the biggest units here and the student council president - Eichi Tenshouin - is the leader of the unit so that unit alone already has so much power.
Kaoru didn't recognise the green-haired boy first until he realised it was the same one Nagisa was currently dating. Every time Kaoru thought about it, his heart would break.
In the years Kaoru was gone, he realised his feelings for Nagisa and he was desperate to be reunited with him. Even if they started off as friends again, Kaoru wouldn't mind. He just wanted Nagisa back in his life but it seemed pretty hopeless at this point.
For now, Kaoru still wasn't in a unit but he didn't have to join one straight away, he had two months to do so.
Kaoru laid back on his bed, looking to the left of him was Yuta Aoi - one of a pair of twins and he was in a unit with his brother and they were called '2wink'. They weren't big like 'fine' or 'Knights' but they were still big enough to beat some of the smaller units in competitions and still big enough to have a few fans who do follow them around.
To the right of him was Nagisa Ran. The boy he first met in kindergarten. The boy who he wanted to be friends with forever and he remembers Nagisa crying in the corner after telling him he would be going away. He remembers their hands together, sticky and sweaty and messy but they were children so young Nagisa and Kaoru didn't care. Now, Kaoru realised he's in love with Nagisa but it seems Nagisa doesn't remember him at all and plus, he's already dating someone.
Kaoru turns back around to stare at the ceiling and his eyes go blurry and tears cloud his vision and he's drifting off to sleep.
*
It's halfway through the first year and 4 months into being a member of 'UNDEAD' for Kaoru.
Rei's previous unit hadn't worked out and one of the members had gone on to make their own unit too. This is when Rei had quickly made his way to Kaoru's dorm and had asked if Kaoru was still looking for a unit and if he wanted to join his newly formed unit.
There were a few people already in it - Rei, Koga and a boy named Adonis. Rei had been adamant that Kaoru would make the perfect fourth member and as Kaoru still wasn't part of a unit, he agreed.
'UNDEAD' had grown more quickly than Kaoru had ever thought of. They had many fans and at one point was even put on the same level as 'fine'. It had all happened so quickly and Kaoru was worn out.
After finishing rehearsals one day, Kaoru decided to pack up quickly and go back to his dorm.
Upon walking in to his dorm, he can see someone curled up in a bed and someone else sitting next to them. After walking closely he can see Nagisa is the one curled up and sniffles are coming from him and Yuta is rubbing his shoulder - a sign of comfort.
When Kaoru turns his head to Yuta to ask what's wrong, Yuta is looking back, eyes full of sympathy and he stands up to walk to his own bed so Kaoru can take his spot.
Kaoru gently sits down, not wanting to disturb Nagisa. He doesn't know how to talk to him now. They haven't talked properly for a while and not like this either.
Kaoru takes a deep breath and moves around to slowly lay down next to Nagisa.
"Nagisa... are you okay?" Kaoru mentally smacks his head, of course he isn't otherwise he wouldn't be crying.
Nagisa peeks over the top of the blanket and looks at Kaoru. His eyes are swollen from the crying and looking at this sight makes Kaoru's heart break. He doesn't deserve to ever look like this, he's beautiful and yet he's crying.
Kaoru turns his head towards Nagisa and lifts his hand to brush some of his hair out of the way before Nagisa quickly reaches up to grab it and hold onto his hand.
"...Hiyori... He said... We should break up... We wasn't even official... But he... He said we should keep our distance," Nagisa finishes quietly.
Hiyori? Kaoru vaguely remembers that name. It makes Kaoru's heart wrench knowing when he first saw them together six months ago, they were smiling and laughing and they were blinding to see. Now, one of them is pouring his eyes out over the other one.
Kaoru squeezes Nagisa's hand and uses his thumb to rub circles on it. Nagisa doesn't say anything more. Kaoru doesn't say anything more. Yuta doesn't say anything more. The sniffles die down and Nagisa's breathing gets more relaxed and he's asleep.
Kaoru brings their joined hands together and gently kisses the back of Nagisa's.
It's like a promise.
'I'll never leave you again. I'll never let you get hurt again. Trust me.'
*
It's been a year into Yumenosaki Academy and things have gone much better.
Nagisa is now apart of another unit, he's not in the same one as Hiyori anymore. In fact, 'fine' is a whole different unit now.
Eichi is still the leader but after Nagisa and Hiyori's break-up, a whole range of incidents occurred and it caused the rest of 'fine' to crumble apart. Nagisa, Hiyori and the other member, Tsumugi, all left and joined other units.
Nagisa does idol work but he's not very active in doing so but he's still a big name in the idol industry.
Nagisa and Kaoru rejoined together and they hang out more and more each day, just like they did in kindergarten. It made Kaoru so much happier reconnecting with Nagisa and everyone could see that - even if you're standing a mile away.
One day, Kaoru comes into their dorm but only Nagisa is there. After the dissolvement of 'fine', Nagisa had picked up a hobby - a rather strange one from an outsider's perspective - but Kaoru's heart skips a beat seeing Nagisa examine the rocks he collects and lines them up and puts them in order.
Kaoru walks towards him, "Hello, Nagisa!"
Nagisa turns around and smiles.
"Are you free today?" Kaoru asks and he receives a nod in response. "Let's go to the beach, I want to show you something there."
Nagisa gets up from his bed and trails after Kaoru and they head out the school building and to the nearby beach which was only a five minute walk.
The sun is beginning to set and so the sky is a mix of oranges, pinks and yellows and when Kaoru looks over to Nagisa, he looks ethereal. He looks sort of God-like, it's like he was meant to be here and Kaoru can't help but to grab his phone and take a picture.
"...I've never been to a beach before," Nagisa speaks up. "It's really pretty here."
Nagisa crouches down and watches as the waves go out and then come back in, touching the tip of his shoes. He sticks his hand out and touches the water. He does it so gently and so carefully like he's touching a baby animal and Kaoru thinks 'yeah, he must be a God.'
"...I like it here... Thank you for bringing me Kaoru."
Kaoru smiles and he walks back to Nagisa from where he was rummaging around trying to find something.
"Here, put this to your ear, Nagisa. Put it close enough and you can hear the ocean." Nagisa does this and smiles big and bright like a child when he can hear it. Kaoru takes another picture.
As Nagisa starts to shiver, Kaoru offers to go back to their dorm and they can go back to the beach another day. Nagisa is hesitant, he's found his new favourite place and he wants to stay at the beach forever with Kaoru.
When Nagisa shivers again, Kaoru takes his hand and lifts him up and they begin to walk back to their dorm and they both fall fast asleep as soon as their bodies hit the bed.
*
When waking up, Kaoru sees another object that was added onto the end of Nagisa's rocks. Waking up more, Kaoru sees it's the shell he gave Nagisa yesterday so he could hear the ocean.
Kaoru smiles.
*
As the rest of their time at Yumenosaki passes, 'UNDEAD' has gotten a lot bigger and Nagisa is their number one fan which never fails to make Kaoru blush.
Nagisa still does his odd-jobs but he's not active in a unit as of current. Although he's supposed to be in a unit, the Head agreed that as he's a big idol, as long as he does some of his activities, he'd be able to stay.
Their beach dates have become a regular occurrence too. Kaoru will come back from rehearsal tired and Nagisa offers to make him feel better by going down to the beach and so they go and Nagisa eagerly picks up all the shells to add to his collection - but only if he can hear the sea in them.
Sometimes, Yuta will join them too and it makes Nagisa happy whenever he comes along but '2wink' has been rising in popularity as of late so he spends most of his time with Hinata having to do much more activities.
A lot of the time, Kaoru and Nagisa will go to the beach and stargaze. All the stars aren't always visible but there's always one big one that shines brighter than the rest. It reminds Nagisa of when he first saw Kaoru in kindergarten. Nagisa has always liked small, pretty things and maybe that's why he was so captivated the first time he saw Kaoru. Kaoru was like a star back then. To Nagisa, he shone so brightly and he would always have Nagisa's attention.
Thinking back, Kaoru smiles and he looks over to Nagisa who's currently staring at the star. Kaoru squeezes his hand and he can see a smile appear on Nagisa's face.
'Yeah,' he thinks, 'Yeah, I am in love with you.'
*
The third time Nagisa met this boy was when he was twenty-five years old.
This time, however, Kaoru and Nagisa had stayed connected the past ten years. Nagisa was kind-of, sort-of 'UNDEAD's' producer.
He wasn't given an official title when he works with them and nor does he work with them all the time but Kaoru had brought him to a rehearsal one day and Rei had appointed him to help them occasionally.
As much as Nagisa had enjoyed being an idol in 'fine', he figured the idol job really wasn't for him and it's better suited for bigger, brighter stars.
Stars like Kaoru Hakaze.
Ten years later and it's coming up to their nine year anniversary. 'UNDEAD' has risen massively and is now one of the biggest units. It means Nagisa and Kaoru can't spend as much time together but they always find a way back to each other at the end of the day and they always find enough time to go to the beach.
After ten years, Nagisa still gets excited to go to the beach, and he gets excited picking up shells, and he gets excited trying to listen to the sound of the ocean in them.
Nagisa still looks ethereal as the sun sets.
Nagisa still looks up and finds the bright star that's always there, even years later and for many years to come.
However, despite this big, bright star, it's nothing quite like the one that's currently laying next to him, holding his hand and rubbing circles onto the back of his hand.
Kaoru smiles at him.
Bigger, brighter than any star.
Problems still come up, problems will continue to occur. Positives will comes out of it. There will be arguments, there will be shouting, screaming, throwing. There will be cuddling, kissing. There will be everything and yet nothing.
Nagisa knows him and Kaoru may not stay together forever but maybe they will.
Nagisa doesn't know, the future knows.
Nagisa can't see into the future, Nagisa doesn't know.
Nagisa does know that he'll make this moments last. Right now is the present, not the future.
Right now, he's still laying down on a beach and Kaoru Hakaze is laying right next to him. That's what's happening right now and it's what Nagisa hopes will continue for as long as it can.
Nagisa had felt hopeless after not seeing Kaoru for the first ten years. Seeing him attend Yumenosaki had given Nagisa so many mixed emotions but that's now in the past.
Right now, Nagisa looks back up in the sky to see the bright star.
But maybe he doesn't need to always look up at the sky to find a bright star. Maybe he can just turn to his left.
Turning to his left makes the star smile at him when their eyes connect and it leaves Nagisa smiling back.
It's all Nagisa needs in this moment.
A star by the name of Kaoru Hakaze.