Chapter Text
Miranda had been waiting for Tali’s report for the past few days now and the woman had been nothing but passive-aggressive about her demand. She could ask Shepard to intervene but she wasn’t one to run to her superior every time things didn’t go her way, besides, the Quarian was one of the Commander’s best buddies and she doubted Shepard would make a big deal out of it. The Commander was out on a personal mission anyway so the best thing to do was to stop this unfruitful back and forth exchange and just talk to Tali face to face. She knew the Quarian was staying in the Engine Room so she left her cabin and made her way to the elevator.
Just as she reached the lift, she heard a loud laugh coming from the Port Observation Deck. It didn’t sound like Miss Goto who was probably hiding somewhere to gather gossip on God knew what or who. Miranda leaned back with a raised eyebrow to see what was going on and realized the door was open. She saw Tali cross the room, on her way to the bar no doubt, and rolled her eyes, at least she didn’t have to go far to find the woman.
With a few quick strides, Miranda was in the room. “Miss Vas Neema,” she said as greeting. She stared at the Quarian who was now sitting on a stool at the counter, pouring herself a drink. “I see you are not as busy as your message suggested if you have time to relax in the lounge.” She crossed her arms.
“Miss Lawson.” A deep, measured voice said behind her.
Miranda’s shoulders tensed almost imperceptibly. Liara… She had only met the woman a couple of times but she would recognize that low voice anywhere. She straightened her stance and turned around, silently berating herself for not noticing the asari at the back of the room when she first entered. “Dr. T’Soni.” She hadn’t been informed of her presence, or of Shepard’s return for the matter, even though EDI was to let her know about any coming and going. It was probably a direct order from the Commander to the AI to keep things hush. She knew Shepard was protective of her friends but it was another story altogether when it came to T’Soni. She cleared her throat, trying to hide her surprise. “I didn’t expect you here.”
Liara raised one of her eyebrow markings. “I didn’t know I needed your authorization.”
Miranda heard Tali snort at the asari’s answer but ignored her. “You don’t.”
“Good to know.” Liara crossed her arms and stared at her.
“So, did you want something or did you come here to ruin our fun as usual,” Tali asked after a moment of silent staring match between the two women in front of her.
“I do.” Miranda clicked her tongue and looked at Tali over her shoulder. “Your report.”
“As you can see,” Tali waved around the room with her glass, spilling some of its content on the floor. “I am busy entertaining our VIP guest and good friend Liara.”
“Tali kindly offered to give me a tour while Shepard is busy.” Liara took a few steps forward, now standing in front of the door and closer to Miranda.
“For what purpose?” Miranda knew Liara was an Information broker and she didn’t want her to stick her nose where it didn’t belong, Shepard’s mate or not.
“I can assure you, operative Lawson,” Liara lifted her chin slightly. “That this was purely out of curiosity but thank you for confirming that you still have things to hide.”
“Dead bodies.” Tali fake-coughed before loudly slurping her drink with her straw.
Miranda clenched her jaw. “Dr. T’Soni, we both know…”
It was in that moment that Shepard stepped into the room, a big goofy smile on her face at the sight of Liara, seemingly only having eyes for her lover. “Sorry, sorry,” She kissed Liara’s cheek. “Johnson needed me to sign some documents and…” She trailed off when she noticed Liara’s stiffness and only then seemed to realize the tense situation in the room as she glanced at Miranda and Tali. “Ah…”
“Shepard!” Tali exclaimed happily. “Come have a drink with me, things are about to get interesting!”
Shepard looked between Liara and Miranda. “What’s going on?” She frowned.
“Nothing, Commander,” Miranda replied politely.
“We were just talking, Shepard,” Liara answered at the same time.
Shepard raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced before looking at Tali. “I thought you were giving Liara a tour.”
“I was but you took forrreeeevver.” Tali said, her voice slurring slightly. “So I offered her a drink and we were having fun, catching up, until your bosh'tet cheerleader came and…”
“Tali,” Shepard interrupted, a warning look on her face.
“Sorry,” Tali snorted. “Until perfect miss Lawson here demanded I hand her my report, ruining all our fun.”
“I’m sorry.” Shepard turned to Miranda. “I know this is important but can it wait for two more days?” She asked with a charming smile.
Miranda sighed. “If it must.”
“Thank you.” Shepard gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder before grabbing Liara’s hand and squeezing it. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, ladies, Liara and I have plans for the night.” She bent down a little and swept Liara off her feet, carrying her bridal style toward the elevator as Liara giggled gleefully.
Miranda fought back a smile at the sight, even she could admit that the two made a cute couple, as nauseating as it was. She shook her head and looked at Tali. “I want your report in two days without fail, Miss Vas Neema.” Tali gave her a mock salute in answer, making her roll her eyes again. “And easy on the bottle, I heard vomit is really hard to clean inside a visor.” She left the room without a second glance.
Later that evening, Miranda found herself reading in bed, trying to relax. Their journey to the Omega-4 Relay was fast approaching and although she hated to admit it, a part of her was anxious about the outcome of their mission. Before she got to know Shepard, she had accepted that this might be a one-way trip and unlike some members of the Normandy’s crew, she didn’t have any family that would miss her, no spouse, no children, or even friends that would mourn her deeply. But now, things were different, Oriana was part of her life and she wanted to make it back alive to see her sister grow up.
Her musings were interrupted by a beep on her omnitool, signaling someone was at the door. She unlocked it with a swift swipe and saw her commander step inside. “Shepard?” She frowned in confusion, wondering why the woman was in her cabin at this late hour. “Is something wrong?” She stood up and the cold suddenly hitting her legs reminded her of what she was wearing, a white t-shirt, black shorts, and a pair of comfy socks, hardly the best attire to greet your CO. “Shouldn’t you be with your sweet Doctor?” She took a few steps forward, now standing next to the couch separating her bedroom area from her office.
“She left,” Shepard answered with a sad smile.
Shepard was pretty expressive for a soldier and it had often surprised Miranda that the woman never tried to hide her emotions unless she needed to. For her, it was a weakness, something that could be exploited but it seemed to work fine with Shepard if the list of people ready to risk their lives for her was anything to go by. Miranda noticed how Shepard hesitated at the door and although she might not be good with feelings, it was clear that the woman was a bit lovesick. “Trouble in paradise?” She moved to stand behind her desk.
“No,” Shepard shook her head. “It’s just… She couldn’t stay longer...”
Miranda didn’t know what to answer, Shepard was clearly looking for some sort of comfort and she couldn’t really understand why she came to her when she could go to Tali or her other best friend Archangel. Still, she didn’t want to make Shepard feel like she was a bother. She wasn’t about to admit it out loud but the company was welcome tonight, preventing her from drowning in her doubts. Thankfully, the woman continued without prompting.
“I received your report when I went back to my cabin so I knew you weren’t sleeping.” The Commander seemed to finally realize what Miranda was wearing and blinked. “I’ve never seen you wear anything but your tight uniform.”
“Well, I wasn’t really expecting a visit.” Miranda unconsciously pulled on her shirt. At least Shepard was also wearing casual clothes, a N7 tank top, and sweats.
“I can leave if...” Shepard thumbed toward the door.
“No!” Miranda exclaimed then clenched her jaw in annoyance at how eager she sounded. “No, I… I don’t mind.”
Shepard nodded with a grateful smile. “Alright then.” She walked toward the seats in front of the window and sat on the left chair, patting the other one next to hers.
Miranda nodded in acknowledgment then paused as she watched Shepard pull the small, round glass coffee table closer. It was actually Shepard who had rearranged that side of the room after the incident with Jack, trying to create a friendlier space for them to review missions together. Miranda had to admit that it was more enjoyable than working at her desk. Speaking of desk, she glanced back at it and decided to grab the bottle hidden in the low drawer and two glasses, if she was about to hear Shepard talk about her love for Liara, they both needed liquid courage. She joined Shepard and set the glasses on the small table, pouring two drinks and handing one to the woman.
“I wanted to apologize,” Shepard stated as soon as Miranda sat down. “I wasn’t trying to blindside you with Liara’s visit. I respect your work, I just wanted to avoid gossip.”
“Please,” Miranda drawled. “People know and I’m sure 90% of your crew is heartbroken about this, just like half the galaxy.”
Shepard laughed. “Are you part of the 10% left unscathed?”
“Well, unlike them I am not delusional enough to think someone like you would be interested in someone like me.” Miranda took a sip of her drink.
“What is someone like you?” Shepard raised an eyebrow. “Someone smart, skilled, dedicated…”
“I am not fishing for compliments, Shepard.” Miranda cut her off. Even though it didn’t hurt her ego to hear it, she didn’t want to give the wrong impression.
“I’m just being honest.” Shepard shrugged then paused for a moment as she sipped on her drink. “You know, in another life, if things had been different, I could have been interested in you.”
Miranda didn’t have a crush on Shepard unlike so many people who had spent some time in the Commander’s presence but it would be a lie to say that the thought hadn’t crossed her mind once or twice. Shepard was a force of nature and it was an attractive trait for her. “So I’m not too bitchy for you anymore?” She raised a perfect eyebrow, hoping the jest would steer the conversation to a safer place.
Shepard chuckled at the joke. “You were rude when we first met,” She admitted. “But my comment was uncalled for. I came back from the dead and was instantly thrown into a loop with little agency, I was frustrated, trying to find my bearings, and you…”
“Were a bitch, yes.” Miranda agreed. She remembered Shepard trying to have a conversation with her and simply shutting her down, telling her they weren’t there to make friends. “Don’t worry, I’ve never held it against you.”
“Good.” Shepard nodded, taking another sip of her drink. They stayed silent for a while, watching the dark sky through the window. “It’s funny, Liara and I have never been on a proper date. I kept thinking, once things calm down, I’ll take her somewhere nice but it was never the right time. Tonight was the closest of a romantic night we’ve ever had.” She shook her head with a rueful smile. “I know in my heart that Liara is the one, I knew it the moment our eyes met in those ruins but...”
“You are sickeningly romantic, you know that?” Miranda said without any malice before finishing the rest of her drink.
“I’m sure there is romance in you, Miss Lawson.” Shepard teased, her foot playfully nudging Miranda’s. “A dream of a nice house with white-picket-fence in the suburbs, perhaps? Somewhere back on Earth…”
Miranda snorted, nudging her foot back. “No.” One of her deepest desires was to have a child, and that went down the drain the day she learned about her infertility. It wasn’t something she wanted to discuss right now or ever. Firstly, because it was nobody’s business but her own, and secondly, people tended to have strong opinions about powerful women and motherhood, and she cared for none of them.
“Liar!” Shepard winked then fell silent again.
“So…” Miranda trailed off, unsure what to say. She couldn’t figure out what Shepard was expecting from her.
“So it’s still not the right time…” Shepard shrugged.
“I’m sorry,” Miranda answered and oddly enough, she meant it. She had read the woman’s file and if anyone deserved some good in this unforgivable world, it was Shepard. “But,” she added. “If you came here for some love advice, I’m afraid you knocked on the wrong door.” She poured them both another drink. “Besides, Liara isn’t really fond of me, I’m not sure she would appreciate you sharing this.” She sipped her drink.
“You’re my friend, she respects that,” Shepard answered earnestly.
“I am?” That took Miranda by surprise. They had been working and traveling together for months now, she had grown to respect Shepard, and even trusted her despite their difference of opinion but she didn’t think the woman cared about her more than the way she cared about her crew in general.
Shepard nodded. “If you want to.”
“You would be friends with a Cerberus agent?” Miranda raised a questioning eyebrow.
“No, I would be friends with Miranda,” Shepard corrected. “Someone who trusted me to meet the most important person in her life and who is slowly changing for the better since.”
“I…” Miranda’s voice wavered despite herself. A part of her wanted to stand up and go, to cut the conversation short just to protect herself - the last person who she thought was her friend had betrayed her and almost succeeded in taking her little sister away - but then Shepard sent her a genuine, kind smile and Miranda realized that the woman wasn’t Niket. Shepard had nothing to gain from being friends with her, quite the opposite actually so she took a discreet calming breath and spoke again. “I would love to be your friend, Shepard.” A small, honest smile spread on her face.
“See, it wasn’t so hard, was it?” Shepard smiled brightly, raising her drink and clicking it with Miranda’s. “Give it a bit more time and I’m sure my crew will warm up to you as well.”
“I doubt that.” Miranda snorted. “At least two of them want me dead.”
“Tali doesn’t want you dead,” Shepard assured her. “She’s just trying to deal with her grief.”
“And Jack?” Miranda questioned, already knowing the Commander couldn’t deny that one.
Shepard winced. “Jack is…”
“A lunatic?” Miranda suggested with a sneer.
“Lost,” Shepard said, choosing the word carefully. “She never had a safe social structure to help her deal with her emotions in a healthy way.”
Miranda hummed non-committally. Shepard wasn’t one to badmouth her teammates so she wasn’t surprised by her answer, that didn’t mean she had to say something nice about Project Zero.
“You know,” Shepard started, the hint of a smile on her lips. “If you think about it, it’s one of the things you two have in common. Maybe you aren’t so different after all.”
“Are you bloody mad?” Miranda snapped. “Is there some brain damage I haven’t fixed for you to say such a preposterous thing?”
Shepard laughed goodheartedly. “No, I’m better than ever, thank you.”
“Thank me indeed,” Miranda smirked after composing herself again. She had done a marvelous job bringing Shepard back to life.
“Alright,” Shepard chuckled and raised her hand in a pacifying manner. “I won’t mention it again.”
“Thank you.” Miranda sighed.
“For now,” Shepard added, her eyes sparkling with mischief.
“Urgh.” Miranda groaned. “We don’t all have to get along, you know.” God knew she hadn’t started to work for Cerberus to make friends.
“I know.” Shepard chuckled again then turned serious. “Anyway, I miss Liara, that’s my reason for being awake, what’s yours?”
“I just wanted to finish my report.” Miranda lied with ease but Shepard’s arched eyebrow told her the woman was seeing right through her.
“There was no rush, you knew I was with Liara and wouldn’t read it tonight.” Shepard pointed out.
“Still,” Miranda shrugged nonchalantly. “I take my work seriously.”
“You’re allowed to take breaks,” Shepard replied.
Miranda didn’t answer because what could she say? That she was bad at doing things for the sake of it? Besides, they would start their suicide mission soon, all she wanted was to have her things in order just in case she wasn’t coming back. It wasn’t the only reason, her mind whispered, she had also started questioning things. She was not a woman of regrets and yet she wondered, would humanity remember her? Would they judge her harshly for what she had done, even though she was just trying to do what was right for them? But more importantly, would Oriana be proud of her, would her sister reminisce about her in a positive way? Joining Cerberus all those years ago had allowed her to keep her sister safe and she would do it all over again in a heartbeat but lately, she had been seeing some of the worse sides of Cerberus and it was hard to find excuses for them, even for her.
They stayed in comfortable silence for a moment, just drinking and looking through the window. Miranda couldn’t remember the last time she sat next to someone who didn’t expect anything from her and simply enjoyed her company. It made her want to try to be honest, or maybe it was the almost empty bottle on the table. “I…” She scratched her collarbone, a nervous tick she had never been able to fully get rid of. “I keep thinking about our last mission, seeing David Archer strapped to that device…” She shook her head in disgust. “Who can do that to their own sibling? It’s despicable.” She let out an irritated sigh. “After Pragia, I thought I’d seen it all but I guess not…”
“You’re right.” Shepard agreed. “But that’s Cerberus for you.”
“I didn’t know.” Miranda stated strongly. She needed Shepard to know that there were lines even she would never cross. “I was telling you the truth when we visited that dreadful place with Jack, I didn’t know and I would never hurt a child nor would I separate a baby from their mother.”
“I believe you, but after everything you’ve seen, why are you still staying?” Shepard asked.
“It’s complicated…” Miranda sighed. It was true, despite everything, the Illusive Man offered her resources nobody else could and there was also the matter of her father who was still out there. “Cerberus…”
“Doesn’t deserve you.” Shepard cut her off gently but firmly.
“Perhaps,” Miranda conceded after pursing her lips. “But they helped me with Oriana.”
“If that’s what stopping you then I can help you keep her safe,” Shepard assured her. “I have contacts who could keep an eye on her and make sure nothing happens to her.”
Miranda wasn’t sure even Shepard could promise that but she didn’t feel like pointing it out. “And if I leave, where would I go?” She knew it wasn’t possible right now but it didn’t stop her from asking.
“You could join my crew,” Shepard offered. “As my XO.”
“A former Cerberus agent working for the Alliance?” Miranda scoffed incredulously. “They would never let you.”
“I’m a Spectre again, I can do what I want.” Shepard smiled cheekily.
“I’m sure the Council would love to hear that,” Miranda answered with the hint of an amused smile.
Shepard groaned. “They can be difficult but we still need them to maintain a certain level of order in the galaxy.”
“I suppose…” Miranda put her empty glass on the table.
“Alright,” Shepard gulped the rest of her drink and slammed it on the table. “It’s late, I should let you get some rest.” She stood up. “Thank you for the drinks, and the company.”
“I had worse nights.” Miranda joked, making Shepard laugh. She was glad the woman appreciated her dry humor and didn’t see it as her being conceited.
“Next bottle is on me.” Shepard declared.
Miranda stood up and followed her to the door. “If we survive.”
“I made Liara a promise I intend to keep, so I’m not planning on dying.” Shepard paused for a second then added. “Well, not again.”
“Alright,” Miranda smiled. “I’ll hold you to that, Commander.”
Shepard nodded and squeezed her arm affectionately. “Goodnight, Miranda.”
“Goodnight, Shepard.” Miranda nodded back.
The door of her cabin slid open and as Shepard stepped out, they noticed Jack in the hallway. The ex-con stopped dead in her tracks, a cereal bar in her mouth and her arms full of rations. Jack glanced at Shepard then at Miranda, her eyes slowly going down to stare at her bare legs before looking back at Shepard with a frown. “What the fuck?” She asked with her mouth full.
Miranda wrinkled her nose, that woman really had no manners. Jack had clearly waited for the late hours of the night to come and ride the mess like a rat coming out of its hiding place once the room was empty and quiet. Miranda would feel sorry for her if the woman wasn’t so insufferable. “Unlike the dive bars you usually frequent, the mess isn’t open 24/7. If you’re hungry, you should have eaten dinner with the rest of the crew.”
Jack completely ignored her to address Shepard. “Why are you in Bitch-tits McGee’s cabin instead of being with your hot piece of blue ass girlfriend?”
“Jack,” Shepard said warningly. “We’ve talked about this.”
Miranda was used to her insults by now and didn’t need Shepard to stand up for her but it was nice to see the woman wasn’t just talk and really had her back, even when she wasn’t there. There were a few bugs around the Normandy - which was standard procedure for Cerberus - and a month ago, she had overheard a member of their crew complain about her to his colleague after she had lectured him on his poor work. Shepard had happened to be near and told them Lawson was their superior and deserved respect. It wasn’t like Miranda was going out of her way to be mean, she was cordial with everyone and if people did their job right, she would simply thank them and move on but if someone was getting lazy, she refused to give them a free pass. They were all there for a reason and she wouldn’t stand for incompetence and laziness.
“Yeah, yeah. So?” Jack asked, unfazed.
“Miranda was just keeping me company,” Shepard said simply.
“Why?” Jack’s frown deepened as she once again stared at Miranda’s clothes.
Miranda had to admit, the situation could be misinterpreted and she didn’t need to add mistress and homewrecker to the long list of names people were calling her behind her back. She usually wouldn’t care but she didn’t need to make things worse with Liara if the rumors were to reach her. She opened her mouth to answer but Shepard beat her to it.
“Because she’s my friend.” Shepard shrugged.
“Why?” Jack questioned.
Shepard chuckled. “Maybe if you two could play nice for more than a minute, you would know.”
“Fuck no!”, “Absolutely not!” Jack and Miranda answered simultaneously.
“You have weird friends,” Jack stated.
“You’re part of them, you know.” Shepard waved at Miranda and started walking away, followed closely by Jack.
“Yeah but at least I’m funny,” Jack smirked.
“Miranda is funny too,” Shepard replied.
Jack scoffed. “Since when?”
“Aren’t you full of questions tonight?” Shepard teased.
“Oh come on!” Jack exclaimed.
Miranda couldn’t hear their conversation well enough after that but she heard them laugh just before the elevator door closed. She shook her head with a small smile, Shepard was definitely something else and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure her friend would make it home.