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Tetora’s head was pounding.
Not because he had a headache, not because the cold caused him to feel unwell, but rather because he was on a date— or rather, as close to a date as possible— with his crush, classmate, unitmate, and, most importantly, best friend, Midori. The two had never properly spent a holiday together, since when they were first years, they had to present live throughout the night, and on New Years, they did the same.
A whole year had gone by, filled with arguments, losses, and hardships, and yet…
For some reason, Tetora still couldn’t shake off this unorthodox feeling. He wasn’t one to be very interested in romantic relationships at all. The prospect of doing anything obviously romantic with someone kind of disgusted him. Plus, he’d never actually liked someone—the most romantic thing he’d ever done was fake-confess to a friend during a round of truth or dare in middle school.
But for the first time ever, Tetora actually felt what he believed was attraction to a person. Well, it wasn’t like he wanted to do anything explicitly romantic with Midori (maybe hug at most, but that’s it). What made his feelings for Midori different was that he thought about him all the time. Like all the time. And that he couldn’t stop noticing the little things about Midori. Like, for example, when he’d gasp after seeing a cute plush with way too long of a name through a store’s window, or the sparkle that’d appear in his eyes when he’d tell Tetora about a new anime he’d been watching, or when he’d play with the edge of his sweater, or maybe even when he’d tap his pen on his paper when he’d get a question right. And of course, how could Tetora not like someone as kind as Midori, who’d go out of his way to support him, reassuring him that he wasn’t a disappointment of a leader? How could he be immune to Midori’s pathetically soft smile or laugh, which would stay imprinted in Tetora’s mind throughout the day all the way until practice, where he’d hear it again, leading to an endless cycle of inescapable lameness?
In other words, even if someone like Hinata claimed Tetora’s feelings weren’t “actually legit” and this was just another one of his “silly man crushes”, Tetora still felt like whatever it was that filled his chest every time he thought of his unitmate was love.
In other words… As pathetic as it may be, Tetora loved Midori.
“Tetora-ku~n. Is something wrong…? You’ve been staring at your feet for a while now, it’s getting lonely.”
Midori’s voice cut through Tetora’s daydream, bringing him back to reality.
“Midori-kun, you’re way too worrisome,” Tetora sighed, relaxing his shoulders. That’s right… I’m hanging out with Midori-kun right now. I can’t let myself wander off. “I’m fine, just… a bit overwhelmed.”
“Overwhelmed? That’s weird, we’ve only gotten dinner and gone to karaoke… Are you sick? Mashiro-kun caught the flu a couple of days ago, so maybe you’ve come down with that…?”
“Hey, like I said, don’t worry about me! I’m fine, I promise.” Tetora smiled as wide as he could and started walking. “We’re going to go see the Christmas Tree, right~ Let’s get going before it gets too crowded.”
“...”
The pair walked in silence for a bit, Tetora tapping at his phone while Midori took in the rather bleak scenery. This part of town was darker than the rest and was dimly lit by a few street lamps, not exuding any Christmas spirit in the slightest.
Despite being terribly close friends, often more than not, Midori and Tetora found it extremely difficult to converse if the topic wasn’t about how shittily Ryuseitai-N was chugging along or how overbearing Chiaki could be. Even so, there was comfort in the silence— a feeling of ‘We don’t need to talk to enjoy each other's company’. It was something like an unspoken pact, where they didn’t have to keep an awkward conversation if they didn’t want to. At first, it bothered Tetora, but as time went on, he learned that’s just how Midori was— and that he, too, disliked trying to keep up meaningless small talk.
But that meant Midori only viewed him as a friend. Tetora’s headache only got worse because of the thought.
“It’s a crush, isn’t it…?”
“Wh-?!”
“Uwah… Bullseye~”
Midori continued walking forward, not knowing that Tetora had stopped. The color had left Tetora’s face, not because he was shocked that Midori had figured out he had a crush, but because he thought Midori had figured out just who it was that he was crushing on.
The lurking fear of rejection swelled up, and Tetora’s head began to feel like it might explode any second.
“H-hey, don’t go assuming things just like that!”
“And you stopping in your tracks not enough evidence…?” Midori had stopped too, a couple of feet in front of the other. “C’m~on. Who is it, Tetora-kun?” His eyes widened eagerly as he approached Tetora, who was currently losing his shit. “Tell me, will you…!”
“Geez, Midori-kun, you’re more excited about this than you are, like, anything. Ah— I take that back, you’re more excited about mascot characters, that’s for sure…”
“Well, you’re one of my closest friends, you know!”
God damn it.
“And everyone else's love lives are kind of boring… including my own.”
“...You’re saying that like some girls wouldn’t kill to be in the spot I’m in right now.”
“Ah~ Don’t remind me, having to reject them all is so depressing… I really hope someone who I actually wouldn’t mind being in a relationship with would just come along already… Such a pain…”
“Whatever you say… I’m sure there are tons of people that'd be willing to wait their whole lives just to say hi to you.” Tetora had calmed down a bit, since he was directing the conversation away from himself and onto Midori. “Anyways—”
“Nuh-uh. I see right through your plan, Tetora-kun!” Midori puffed up his chest as if he had made a revolutionary discovery. “So let’s go back to our main topic,” Midori began walking again, to which Tetora let out the biggest sigh ever known to man and followed after him.
“You’re such a pain sometimes. Like I said, if you care about people's love lives so much, just go ask one of your model friends!”
“Do you really take me for someone who’d voluntarily talk to people like them?”
“Well, not really… But I’m sure either way they have much more interesting things to say. Ah, unrelated, but aren’t you a bit more chipper than usual?”
“Am I?”
“Yeah. Is the cold getting to you?”
“Maybe… Cold weather’s a pain…”
But Tetora wasn’t going to let Midori off that easily.
“…Is it a crush?” he grinned.
“Wh-Whuh?!”
“Well that was a reaction.”
That was… a weird one.
Normally, whenever Chiaki would ask about these kinds of things, Midori would scowl, a dark expression proceeding to cover his face. It was kind of scary, honestly— the prospect of Midori getting angry was terrifying to many, and Tetora wasn’t an exception.
But that didn’t matter at all, because here and now, Midori was staring at Tetora, his face red ear-to-ear. And whether it be because of the cold or Midori’s expression, Tetora could also feel himself getting more and more flustered.
The first snowflakes began to fall.
“Who?”
It came out as more of a statement than a question, but Tetora could care less. The pounding sensation in his head overrode everything else, leaving his ears ringing, his mouth dry.
“W-Wouldn’t you like to know,” Midori pulled his scarf over his nose. “If you won’t tell me yours, what reason do I have to tell you mine…?”
The silence continued.
“Well, if you have nothing to say, Tetora-kun, then we should get going,” Midori said softly as he turned around and began to move again. “I heard there’s a stand that sells really good—”
“You know already, don’t you?”
Midori tensed up.
It was obvious, of course it was. For the past year, Tetora had done everything in his power to make it obvious: walking Midori to school, inviting him over to study, spending as many lunch blocks with him as possible, helping out at his family’s greengrocer on the weekends only to invest the rest of the day talking to him, just to name a few. So why was it that it was bothering him so much now? This is what he wanted, right?
If he wanted Midori to be aware of his love, why did he feel like throwing up?
“I… I think so.”
God damn it.
“…Which means you know about mine, right?”
“Huh?” Tetora blinked a couple of times, trying to regain focus. “No I… I don’t think I do.”
“O-Oh… Is that... Is that so…” Midori’s back still faced Tetora. A hint of disappointment, maybe even anger, could be heard in his voice.
The snow grew heavier.
“Ah— Geez, there wasn’t a storm in the forecast, was there? I’m sorry Midori-kun, if you want I could just walk you back home and we could—”
“No.”
“Eh… Excuse me?”
“No,” Midori spun around and grabbed Tetora’s wrist before dragging him along, snowflakes dancing around them. “That isn’t like you, Tetora-kun. You’ve been hesitating the whole night… I’m supposed to be the one to talk about going home… And you’re supposed to be dragging me along.”
Something was wrong. Why was he being so aggressive all of a sudden?
Was Tetora really not acting like himself? The prospect annoyed him.
Tetora bit his tongue, holding back anger. “But Midori-kun, it’s—”
“It’s what? Too dangerous?” Midori turned swiftly, an icy stare piercing through Tetora.
“No shit it is! I mean, come on, even your arm’s shaking!” It was true; Midori’s grip was wavering, and Tetora could feel vibrations through his wrist.
“...”
More silence. The wind howled, large flakes blocking the two from properly reading the other’s expression.
And yet… Tetora felt as though he’d seen a tear or two stream down Midori’s face.
The snow was starting to stick.
Tetora inhaled, preparing for the worst reaction possible. “...Midori-kun. I’m… I’m sorry for yelling. But I mean, even if I’m reckless and all, I'm not crazy. You get that, right? It’s not safe to go right now.”
Silence.
“And… And I’m worried about you. It’s not manly for a guy to return his friend late!”
Midori muttered something, but a gust of wind blocked Tetora from hearing it.
“See?! I can’t even hear you!”
“No, need to yell… A-Ah, it’s really cold…”
Tetora smiled softly upon hearing his voice, letting out a sigh of relief. “God, as soon as it started snowing, you didn't wanna go at all, I bet… I’m sorry, Midori-kun.”
“Hey, that’s my line… I shouldn't have tried to force you like that,” he shivered as another gust of wind blew past. “That’s… just not like me, I guess…”
“Hehe~ It seems like I was the one who was wrong. You're the same Midori-kun as always, aren’t you?”
“I guess I am, whatever that means… Ah, Tetora-kun, there’s a leaf in your hair.”
“For real?? Why a leaf, of all things…? Where—”
Midori brushed at his head, a touch Tetora wasn’t expecting. He flinched upon feeling the other’s glove, to which Midori just softly chuckled. “You’re funny, Tetora-kun.”
“Huh? What’d I do?”
“...Nothing,” he whispered as he patted Tetora’s hair.
The heavy snow began to subside, and Tetora caught a glance of Midori’s face in full. Much to the former’s surprise, the area around his eyes was damp and puffy.
So he was crying back then…
Tetora’s face flared up upon realization. It was as though a million tiny bombs had exploded on it in one instant.
God damn it .
“Um, Tetora-kun? You’re awfully red… Don’t tell me there’s a leaf on my face… is there?”
Tetora’s breathing hitched, his response coming out as a mere “Ueh.” Midori squinted before laughing.
“H-hey!” Tetora exclaimed, becoming more flustered than before. “Why’re you laughing?! I’m not doing anything funny…”
“Hehe… You’ve been so strange the whole night Tetora-kun. Even though it's a bit annoying, it’s still—” Midori stopped himself, as though on purpose. “A-A bit nice. Seeing you in a different way, I mean.”
“Umyu… You’re so mean, Midori-kun.”
…What was he about to say just then? Tetora frowned.
Even more silence. What is with all the silence! What losers they are.
“…I know this is random but… You can trust me with whatever is bothering you… you know?”
“Huh?”
Midori smiled, lowering his scarf to reveal a very red, slightly runny nose, likely due to the cold… Or maybe due to crying. “...We’re… friends… after all.”
Friends . For some reason, the word didn’t sting nearly as much as it did a few minutes ago. Even if Tetora had spent so long trying to get Midori to consider being something just a little bit more than that, wasn’t this enough? It wasn’t like he was expecting their relationship to drastically change at all…
Then I suppose this is fine, too.
“Yeah,” Tetora looked up, a smile creeping onto his face. “We are friends.” He faced Midori, this time without a flustered or shocked expression, but a truly satisfied one. “Best ones! Let’s go home, Midori-kun.”
“...Yeah. If I have to stay in this cold for any longer, I might freeze to death…”
“Then we’ll just get one of Morisawa-senpai’s hugs to warm you up!”
“...There it is.”
“There’s what?”
Midori began walking ahead. “The Tetora-kun that everyone loves.”
Tetora followed him, stuffing his frost-bitten hands in his pockets. “Are you sure that includes everyone? That’s strangely optimistic for someone like you, ya know~”
“Yep,” Midori whispered, leaning his weight on the other. “Everyone… Including me, I guess.”