Chapter Text
As Eleven sat on her bed, hugging her little stuffed lion to her chest, she began to daydream of life outside of the white walls of the lab. She dreamed of having a Mama, one who cared about her, and she dreamed of a boy loving her and holding her close. She dreamed of having a best friend, one who she could rely on, and a Papa who could actually protect her and would never let anything hurt her. She dreamed of wearing clothes other than her hospital gown, that were soft and warm and cozy, and a blanket on her bed that was pink or purple.
Up until the age of 8, she had believed that her “Papa” loved her and that she could be happy within the walls of the lab. Even though she had to keep her head shaved and do lots of tests to grow her powers, she liked being with her siblings and spending time in the Rainbow Room. When she was 9, she began to bond with Eight, otherwise known as Kali, who was about five years older than herself. Kali had been around her age when she was brought to the lab, and she began to tell her stories of the real world. Kali told her about her parents, and her sisters (Kali had three, all older, and none of them with powers). She told her how she had movie posters all over her room, and how she loved to try on makeup.
Eleven, at first, was embarrassed to have to ask, “What’s a movie? What’s makeup?” Eventually, though, she learned that Kali liked to talk about her life, and Eleven liked to listen, imagining if she herself had a life before the lab. When Kali had managed to escape just one year later, Eleven felt incredibly lonely, and wondered if she would ever be able to see her sister again.
Another year went by, and Eleven began to feel closer to another sibling, One, also known as Henry, who was the oldest of her siblings. He was nice to her, and while many of her other siblings made fun of her and would throw her around with their powers, One would talk to her and made her feel important and heard.
Which is why, when One tricked her into removing his tracking device and then went and slaughtered the rest of her siblings that remained in the lab, she was extremely angry. Eleven felt betrayed. Could she ever find anyone she could trust? Throwing him through a wall, thoroughly knocking him out, Eleven restrained herself from fully ending One’s life. Just as he was stirring and beginning to wake up, Papa entered the room, screaming at Eleven and picking her up, taking her to the small, tiled chamber and throwing her inside.
Through her tears (and shock), she could hear him saying things like “HOW COULD YOU” and “ISOLATION.” As much as she shouted to Papa that she didn’t do it, that it was One, that it was Henry, he didn’t listen, continuing to clutch at her arms tightly enough to hurt. And as much as she didn’t want to make this wish, she still wished that her Papa would hold her gently in a hug, or even pat her head, to take away the feeling that ran throughout her body. A stinging, tingling feeling that only partially went away when Papa (or Kali) would gently hold her head, or her hand.
She didn’t really know where that feeling came from, but she had dealt with it for a long time. Her whole life she didn’t think she’d ever been hugged. The only reason that she even knew what a hug was is because Papa had read her a book that talked about a hug, about how the Mama Bear hugged the Baby Bear to help him feel better.
Oh, how she wished someone would hug her. Ever since she heard that story, she wondered if being hugged would make that feeling running through her bones go away. When Papa would (gently) hold her hand to walk her down the hallway, the feeling would dim to a slight murmur. When Kali would pat her shoulder when she walked past her, the feeling would dim again. But it never fully went away, and only got worse when someone who she didn’t trust touched her (like her other siblings), or when she was touched with force, as Papa had done to throw her in the chamber.
As much as Eleven hated the chamber, she had never thought (before her most recent time in there) that she could be angry with Papa. But, as the days passed, with only a small bowl of oatmeal and a cup of water being tossed in each day, she grew angrier and angrier. Why shouldn’t she leave? Why shouldn’t she find a life outside of the lab? Why did she have to stay with Papa?
Before he had betrayed her, One had shown her an exit, through a drainpipe in the basement. If she could get out and get there, she could be free. Free of Papa. Free of her head being shaved. Free of the chamber. And free of her hospital gown.