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When Gaon gives the taxi driver the address of Yohan's house, the man quirks an incredulous eyebrow, looking between him and the piece of paper.
"Are you sure?" The man asks in a heavily marked English accent. "It is a very exclusive area."
Gaon smiles to himself, lips pressed into a thin line. Sure, he might not look the type with his worn out jeans and his old beige cardigan; his hair must be a mess from the hours-long flight and he did spot swollen dark bags under his eyes when looking at his reflection in the airport's bathroom's mirror, but can he be blamed? He did spend quite a few days with as little sleep as possible in order to finish all his pending business before taking that plane, but it can't be that bad… right?
"I am sure." He tells the driver, trying to not let his annoyance show. He's tired and all he wants right now is to see his family.
The driver lets out a small sigh and nods, starting the car and driving off the airport's curb.
The ride is silent and Gaon is thankful for that. He looks through the window at how each building is taller than the other, not much different from Korea: modern, lively, but somehow brighter, lighter, the busy streets filled with the promises of a better future for him and the people he loves.
Twenty minutes into the ride, Gaon observes as the buildings start to reduce in size and in quantity, giving way to residential blocks.
The taxi drives through more narrow streets, a few people here and there walking their dogs, talking on the phone. He sees a young man pushing a stroller, the woman next to him holds a baby in her arms, they're smiling and Gaon wonders if this is how he and Yohan are going to be: free to roam the streets with their son without the pending fear of being followed, watched, harmed. He pictures Jaesung running around the green grasses, laughing and screaming in joy; his heart tightens with the prospect of finally being happy.
The car goes up a small hill for a couple of more minutes and then it comes to a stop in front of a heavy metal gate, where a security post is situated. The driver rolls his window down when a security guard approaches the car, they exchange a few words in French and the driver hands out the piece of paper with the address written on it. The man looks at the driver with the same incredulous eyes the driver had looked at Gaon at the airport and then moves towards Gaon's, knocking on the glass.
"State your business, please." The guard asks, his English easier to understand.
"My family lives here." Gaon answers, annoyance starting to simmer on the edges of his brain. Patience is a concept Gaon had forgotten quite a while ago.
Yohan should have told him it would be this difficult to get to his own home. He wouldn't have considered this whole surprise appearance thing if he knew.
"ID please." The guard requests. Gaon sighs and only because he doesn't want any trouble and because he wants to get home already, he digs for his wallet and hands his ID card to the man.The guard disappears into the booth and returns a moment later. "I apologize for the inconvenience, Mr. Kim." He says, handing back the ID to Gaon. "Unfortunately, public transportation cannot pass from this point. If you exit the vehicle an officer will take you to your home."
Gaon nods, paying the driver before getting out of the car and taking his bags from the trunk. He watches the taxi disappear into the distance down the hall and follows the man inside and through the security booth, where another person is already waiting for him. She's not wearing a security uniform, but her clothes tell Gaon that she's some sort of staff too.
"Come with me." She asks.
Gaon's bags are put in the trunk of one of those compact, very curious little cars and then he's instructed to get in the passenger side.
"Was all that really necessary?" Gaon huffs, clicking the seatbelt on.
"I'm afraid so. This area in particular is inhabited mostly by politicians and members of the Assembly." She sounds British. "Therefore, extreme security is a must. I'm sure you understand."
"I do… yeah." Gaon sighs. Yohan hasn't, after all, completely let go of his paranoia, it seems.
And if Gaon's being honest, neither has he. In time, he has come to learn that each of Yohan's actions has a purpose and questioning him had never ended well for any of them. If he considers this to be necessary, then Gaon is not going to argue, but queries will have to be answered later.
"The Kang residency, huh?" The woman asks a moment later. "I hope you don't think I'm being rude, butㅡ"
"He's my mate." Gaon answers her question before it even leaves her mouth.
"Oh. We always thought Mr. Kang was quite scary. Never thought he would be mated… until we saw him arrive with a baby. I suppose he's yours."
"Are you always this nosy?" Gaon snaps, not intending to, but not liking the way the woman speaks so comfortably about his family.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention. It's just… when Mr. Kang arrived we were very curious. Not everyone has the means to acquire a house in this area, you see?" Gaon glances around, there is a certain distance between each house, there aren't many and not all of them seem to be inhabited, but the gardens are of a vivid green, trees and flowers growing on the sidewalks. The houses are big, of a modern, minimalistic style. "Everyone here wanted to know who the mysterious asian man was. Later on, I saw on the news that Miraklass had appointed a new board director. That hospital is very important in the Zurich community, you know? With all the charity organizations they fund and all the programs they direct." The woman shrugs, turning left on a street. "I also heard he's been a big benefactor for a couple of years now."
"I see." Gaon mumbles. He knew about the donations, but Yohan had failed to mention he was now the one directing the hospital's board.
"Anyway. We're here." The car comes to a stop in front of the last house up the road.
Gaon chuckles inside. Of course, so predictably Yohan.
"Thank you."
"Do you need help with your bags?" The woman asks as Gaon steps down the car.
"I'm good." Gaon shakes his head.
"Okay. You can call me if you ever need anything." The woman hands him a business card. "Welcome to Greenview, Mr. Kim." She smiles and then drives off.
Gaon looks down at the card.
Anna Clarke. Chief of management.
041-xxx-xxxx
He walks up the driveway, climbs on the three steps leading to the heavy looking wooden door and activates they keypad; Gaon types in the passcode he had committed to memory and heart ever since Yohan texted it along with the address; the door opens with a soft click and Gaon walks inside.
His mouth drops open at what he sees, the pictures Yohan sent once don't make justice to how truly pretty the house is: spacious, bright and open, Yohan's strong scent softened by Elijah's flowery one; mixed faintly, but ever-present with the milky caramel of their baby: simply perfect. Their home.
Gaon lets out a content sigh, a smile curling up his lips as he stares out the French doors leading to the back garden, where green reflects on the glass, so vivid and bright it's almost blinding. There are flowers blooming along the limit line of the white fence, Gaon notices and his smile only grows wider and fonder. In the urgent need to feel the air, Gaon pulls the doors open, a cool breeze hits his face and the smell of freshly watered lawn and wet soil fills his nose. Dark walls and somber feelings are just a memory slowly recoiling into the deepest corners of his mind. He can easily get used to this.
He pads into the kitchen next, just as big, the panoramic window allowing the sunlight to breach into the room as rainbows paint the marble surfaces of the counter and the island. It's almost surreal, Gaon thinks, just how magical something so simple can be. The only thing he's missing now, it's his little family.
When Gaon had been getting off the plane, Yohan had sent him a message, a picture of Jaesung ready and safely strapped on his car seat, announcing a trip to the grocery store. Luck was playing on his side it seemed.
And now, Gaon is determined to welcome them home with how he knows best: a meal. Something hearty and delicious, but as he begins to open cabinets and the fridge, there isn't much to work with. The pantry room is almost empty, only a few packets of ramen are left, some vegetables, eggs and a frozen packet of meat.
Gaon huffs. Well, he's been known for making the most with the least and he's not going to back down now.
"All doors and windows have been closed. The house has been secured." A robotic voice is suddenly heard, startling Gaon into almost dropping the carton of eggs.
His eyes widen, a little confused at first as he stealthily moves along the counter top to find the offensive device behind the ridiculously big coffee maker. The orange ring is blinking familiarly as Gaon approaches the exact same AI butler model he had become so fond of in the past.
"They have you here as well, huh." He speaks softly, pressing the eggs against his chest.
"I'm sorry, I can't understand what you're saying. Voice command not recognized."
Gaon chuckles. "We'll fix that later."
And then, Gaon starts to cook. A simple ramen meal, pickled vegetables, grilled meat and some kimchi he found stored at the back of the fridge, still edible.
He's turning off the stove and pouring food into bowls and plates when the butler speaks once again.
"Security system has been deactivated."
Suddenly, Gaon's hands are sweating and he has to put the porcelain bowl down on the table before it slips out of his clammy hands. He doesn't understand the nervousness that waves over him, but his stomach flips and churns as he slowly makes his way out of the kitchen, coming into view in the living space just as the front door closes and a beep echoes through the walls.
Yohan is standing on the doorway, hands full of reusable grocery bags and looking at him with wide, surprised eyes while Jaesung, snugly tucked in in the straps around Yohan's chest, flails his little arms and makes wet noises with his mouth.
Elijah is the first one to react, dropping the single bag onto her lap and putting her wheelchair on max speed to get to him, almost running over his feet.
"Gaon!" Elijah squeals, opening her arms and stretching her body to envelope Gaon in a tight hug as he bends over for her. "How are you here?!"
"Surprise?" Gaon grins, pulling away. He kisses the top of Elijah's head and ruffles her hair until he hears her grunt and she pushes his hand away. "Hi." He says when he meets Yohan's eyes, who remains rooted to the floor near the door.
"You'reㅡ I didn'tㅡ" Yohan shakes his head. "You didn't tell me you were arriving today."
"It's the purpose of a surprise." Gaon says as he approaches his mate and baby. "Hi." He repeats once he's pressed against Yohan's side and their lips meet in a short, gentle kiss.
"I missed you." Yohan breathes out, leaning his head forward to press their foreheads together.
"I missed you too. And you." Gaon sniffles when his eyes move to his son. Jaesung is looking at him with big curious eyes, lips forming a tiny pout dripping drool.
He reaches out to him to caress his baby's cheek with his knuckle. How he wants to snatch him away and press him against his chest, hold him close to him, feel his warmth and fill his lungs with his sweet scent. But he does none of that, as the baby squirms, turning his head to the side and away from Gaon's touch. Gaon bites his lip, afraid that Jeasung is not going to remember him.
Of course he won't, Gaon tells himself, he's just a baby.
"Gaon-ahㅡ"
"Gaon! Did you make all that?" Elijah asks, coming back from the kitchen.
"Ah." Gaon sniffles again, stepping back a little. "Yes. Let me help you with this." He says, taking the bags from Yohan's hands and speeding up in Elijah's direction.
Yohan is left there, confused and a little hurt, somehow, at the bare minimum of affection shown by Gaon. He sighs and looks down at his son, who is looking at him too, his fist in his mouth.
"Appa is back." Yohan mumbles at Jaesung, who gurgles up, coating his fist with more saliva in the process.
With a small sigh, Yohan removes the straps from around his body to be able to carry Jaesung in his arms and then heads to the kitchen as well, where Elijah is already at the table, Gaon is sitting down and food is served for the three of them.
"Do you… usually eat with him in your arms?" Gaon asks, following Yohan with his eyes as he sits on his spot with Jaesung still cradled in his arms.
"Only when he's being particularly fuzzy." Yohan smiles down at his baby. "But I think today he should be with us, right?"
Gaon's lips curl up sweetly. "Yeah. I agree."
They eat in comfortable chatter. Gaon tells them everything that happened after Yohan had left and how Jinjoo had played a huge role in him finishing all his pending business on time. He suggests sending her a present to thank her for all the help, from the moment Yohan went away to those last moments sitting with Gaon while going through countless documents. Yohan readily agrees, he owns Jinjoo a lot too, for taking care of Gaon when he couldn't.
Gaon asks about Yohan now being part of the hospital's directing board with a teasing nudge of his elbow on Yohan's ribs and a smirk on his face that for some reason makes Yohan blush, forcing him to look down and focus on his food, just in time to catch Jaesung before he pulls on the napkin trapped under the bowl of ramen.
"We missed you a lot." Elijah says while scooping chocolate ice cream into three bowls.
Gaon lets out an imperceptible sigh. "I missed you guys too. So much. I swear I was losing my mind already."
"But you're here now. Permanently?" Yohan hesitates a little. Jaesung starting to get restless in his arms.
"Of course. I promised you two months. I'm not leaving you. Not again." Gaon shakes his head. "I'll find something to do here at some point, I suppose."
"Oh!" Elijah perks up. "Wasn't the hospital hiring for a new legal consultant? Have they hired someone?"
Yohan frowns, lips twisting deep in thought. "I'm not sure. Will you be interested? I can arrange for an interview." He asks Gaon.
Gaon blinks, feeling a little overwhelmed; he just got here, he hadn't seen his baby in two months, he hadn't had the chance to see him grow like Yohan has, he's yet to fully enjoy the experience of being a father without any stress and worry looming heavily over his back. Getting out of a demanding job to be catapulted right into another one so soon doesn't feel quite right. He wants time to enjoy his family at his own pace.
"Um…" Gaon drops his spoon, looking down at his melting ice cream, "I thinkㅡ I think I just want to spend time with you guys. I don't want another job. For now."
He remembers the hundred times Jinjoo jad reminded him how he could spend the rest of his life without a job and still live comfortably. At the time, Gaon had been completely against that absurd idea, wanting to make himself useful for other people, prove he could take care of his baby and give him a good life without fully relying on the Kang's money. But now, as Yohan smiles at him while rocking their baby to stop him from wailing, he finds himself pushing those resolutions aside.
For once, he wants to enjoy life, think only about the ones he loves, their well-being and his own, no distractions and that is exactly what he's going to do.
Yohan smiles, reaching with his free hand for Gaon's to squeeze it softly.
"That's totally fine. You deserve some rest, too. And I'm not needed at the hospital unless there's a board meeting scheduled, so… we have a lot of time for ourselves."
"Would you like to come with me to my therapy session this week?" Elijah asks, spoon in her mouth. "It would be good for you to meet my doctors and physical therapists."
"Oh." Gaon blushes a little, it feels so nice to be included like this. "Yes, I would love to."
Elijah's face brightens up. "Great. I've told them all about my favorite uncle. They do want to meet you!"
"Youㅡ you have?"
"I'm gonna say I'm a bit offended." Yohan snorts. "But I don't blame you." He shrugs.
Elijah opens her mouth, ready to argue, in time for Jaesung to let out a pitiful whimper before breaking into a loud wail, startling them all from the moment of peace.
"Okay, okay." Yohan shushes him, rocking him softly. "It's time for his meal. Would you like toㅡ"
Gaon instantly nods, stretching his arms for Yohan to pass Jaesung onto them. The baby squirms and flails his arms, consistently hitting Gaon on the chest while kicking his legs in annoyance. His face red and wrinkled, tears soaking his cheeks.
It doesn't help that not even Gaon's attempt at scenting him to calm him down works. Jaesung sobs, making little noises as his eyes search around the room, only stopping when Yohan comes back into his sight.
"I don't thinkㅡ" Gaon attempts to return his son back to his father, heart twisting painfully.
Yohan shakes his head, refusing to take him. "He just has to get used to you again. Give him some time." Gaon hesitantly nods, pressing his baby a little tighter against his chest while he sucks on his milk. "Come on, let's put him to sleep." Yohan whispers after the bottle is finished and Jaesung is dozing off in Gaon's arms.
"I'll clean up here." Elijah says, urging them away with a flick of her wrist.
Gaon follows Yohan up a set of stairs and through a short hallway where two doors are lined up on the right and another single one on the left. He comes to a stop on the first one on the right and carefully pushes it open.
"I didn't send any pictures of this because I wanted it to be a surprise." Yohan numbles, flicking a switch and a mood light turns on, projecting tiny stars and moons onto the white walls.
The theme of the nursery room is dinosaurs. There are dinosaur plushies, pillows, furniture and cute, cartoon-y drawings of baby dinosaurs on the wall behind the crib, from where a musical dinosaur mobile spins slow and soft, emitting a twinkling melody that reminds Gaon of sparkles and glitter.
"It's adorable." Gaon whispers fondly.
He puts Jaesung down on his crib and fixes the blankets around him to make sure he's warm. Gaon brushes his baby's cheek with a featherlight touch, barely grazing the skin and smiles, praying his son will soon get used to him.
Yohan comes to his side, a baby monitor very similar to the one they used to have back in Korea in his hand. Yohan kisses his temple and spins the mobile so the twinkling melody starts again.
"Come with me." They leave the nursery room and as soon as they are outside and the door is closed, Yohan has him pinned against the wall, one hand on his hip and the other cupping his neck.
"We're outside our baby's room." Gaon speaks, breathless already, heat pooling in the pit of his stomach at Yohan's proximity. It's been so long, a small whimper escapes his mouth when Yohan presses even closer.
"I've missed you so much." Yohan says while leaning his forehead against Gaon's. "Gaon-ah, I don't think my hand willㅡ"
"Gaon." They hear Elijah calling from downstairs.
Yohan sighs. Gaon chuckles, pulling Yohan in for a kiss, lips pressing and lingering for a moment.
"Soon. I won't make you wait for longer." Gaon promises against Yohan's lips. He pushes him away after another kiss and one more call of his name from Elijah.
Elijah requests to watch a movie and even when Gaon is tired he understands and also wants to spend some more time with his favorite teenage girl.
She picks a romcom and they sit comfortably to watch on the living room's large TV.
It's only later, when he and Yohan are alone in their room and Gaon is changing into his pajamas after a hot shower, that he allows all the stress of the trip to fall over him, shoulders sagging and tiredness reflecting on the dark bags under his eyes.
"Will Elijah be okay on her own downstairs?" He asks worriedly, climbing up the bed.
"She will. It was her idea to turn the study into her room, since it has its own bathroom too. It's less of a struggle for all of us." Yohan explains.
"Where do you work then?" Gaon lies on his side, resting his elbow over the fluffy pillow.
"Here. The living room. The back garden or the kitchen. Sometimes in Jaesung's room, when he's sleeping during the day. Unlike before, I don't need a dark, somber room to concentrate." Yohan grins and Gaon chuckles, leaning for a quick peck on the lips. "What?" Yohan quirks an eyebrow.
"Nothing, just… I've missed you and I'm so proud to see how well you've done so far with our son."
"I promised you not to mess this up, didn't I?"
"I never thought you would, I told you." Gaon moves his hand up, placing it over Yohan's cheek on a tender gesture. "But um…" Gaon pauses, averting his eyes and frowning.
"What is it?" Yohan slides the hand on his cheek off of him and brings it to his lips.
"I'm scared he won't get used to me. Yohan… I would never be able to live with myself knowing I was the causeㅡ"
"Hey. No." Yohan kisses his knuckles. "It's understandable if he gets fuzzy around you, you're relatively a new face."
"He literally came out of me." Gaon rolls his eyes.
Yohan clicks his tongue. "He's just a baby. Give him time."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Gaon sighs, fully resting his head on the pillow.
"You must be tired. Let's sleep, yes?"
Gaon hums, eyes already closed. Yohan smiles, kissing the back of Gaon's hand before activating the voice command to turn off the lights.
Now that Gaon is here, Yohan can close his eyes and trust that nightmares won't plague his dreams.