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When she lifted her heavy lids, the world blurred like a kaleidoscope of muted colors. An array of grey filled her vision, ranging from the darkest to the lightest. Like the ray of the sun, like the ray of hope at the end of the tunnel, a flicker of gold graced her peripheral vision.
“Sorry,” the gold hue spoke softly, “did I wake you up?”
Mona blinked her sleep away, adjusting the light coming into her eyes, gradually tracing the lines and curls that create the silhouette of the gold; the man with golden hair who was approaching her with light steps.
She straightened her back and took in her surroundings. Crumpled parchment, scattered open books, and her inked quill neatly stored at its stand; far from her reach, in case she knocked it over in her wake. No one needed to tell her; She knew. It was definitely his doing.
“Hmm?” She voiced out her sleepiness, and the blanket on her shoulder slipped off. This too was definitely his doing.
He took her hand and escorted her by the small of her back, guiding her towards her room. “I saw the light from your window,” he answered, lifting the blanket for her to slip in, gently tucking her into the bed. He smelled like aromatic herbs and powder snow.
It was almost midnight when she was still writing her research paper. How many hours she had fallen asleep, she didn't know. One thing for sure, at such an ungodly hour, he descended down the rigorous snow mountain and the first thing he noticed was the light from her window.
“Get proper rest, Mona.” A chaste kiss on her forehead as she was floating between wake and sleep. Whose fingertips were touched cold by the snow and whose physique was rugged by the perilous trail? Why was she the one being indulged by his kind gesture?
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He flicked off the lamp by her bedside and closed the door without making a noise. “Good night, love,” he bid her a sweet dream.
The flicker of gold was gone with his farewell, leaving her vision in the lowest brightness.
“Good night,” Mona mumbled her reply and closed her eyes.
In the darkness, she saw the depth of the ocean, the bottomless pit without any ray of light. The color of the ocean depth: the deep shade of blue that she used to glide her fingers into, the deep shade of blue that used to lean into her touch.
Mona did not wish for the sun.
・・・━━━☂★━━━・・・
"You look beautiful."
Albedo had said the moment he picked her at her house. The praise glided from his tongue alongside a smile that was as warm as the sunset. Without words, he took the bag from her hand, held it together with a picnic basket in his other hand, and grasped her hand in his. His fingers were rubbing slow circles onto the back of her hand.
“Klee also thinks Mona is very beautiful!”
The Spark Knight enthusiastically came between them, bridging their hands with her small ones. Klee was wearing a cute summer dress and matching hat, not forgetting her friend Dodoco in a similar getup. Her smile was as bright as the fireworks Mona saw in Inazuma months ago when the leaves were turning red and the dendrobiums were swaying with the night breeze.
Mona wrapped the little hand stronger and replied with a smile matching her brightness. “Let’s play a lot at the beach today, Klee!” Mona swung their hands, which was also followed without any question by the man holding Klee’s other hand. The little girl’s feet were occasionally off the ground as she was being swung back and forth; her excitement came in the form of giggles that filled the summer air.
The cool wind blowing from the sea, delivered slight comfort from the sweltering summer sun. Mona ran barefooted, chasing after the bundle of energy who was leaving her little footprints on the sand. They played and played: building a majestic sandcastle, swimming with a giant Dodoco floatie, scavenging for beautiful shells, eating the food packed by her beloved.
“Klee drew our day so it will never disappear!” Klee called for attention to her sketchbook. She spread the page for the audience to look at. A picture framing a brightly shining sun at the upper left corner, a single tree (probably an attempt for a coconut tree) at the back, a sandcastle at the bottom, and three figures with big smiles holding hands.
“This is Klee, big bro Albedo, and big sis Mona!” Klee proudly pointed to the small figure with a red hat, to the taller figure with golden hair on the left, and then to the taller figure with dark twintails on the right respectively. She lifted her face and beamed at the two. “Mommy said summer will never disappear, just like the love between people .”
Mona gazed deeply into Klee’s drawing, tracing the edge of the paper, and visualizing things outside of the frame. “What a masterpiece, Klee,” Mona praised the little girl. “What a wonderful statement.” Mona pulled her into a hug and brushed their cheeks together, which rewarded her with a loud giggle from the girl.
“Klee loves summer! Klee loves playing at the beach with you two! Klee wants to be together with big sis Mona and big bro Albedo, forever!” Klee exclaimed.
It took several rolls of the wave until the man moved. Something that Mona could not see had turned the wheels inside of the man's head as he murmured something her ears couldn't catch.
Albedo rested his hand on Klee's little head, rustling her hair playfully. "Me too, Klee." His eyes then landed on Mona's, which caught her off guard, heart racing in her ribcage. His face came closer and Mona shut her eyes closed, only to feel his forehead on hers. When she opened her eyes, she knew what he was trying to say to her without words.
I love you.
Too bright; Mona closed her eyes again, took a deep breath, and slowly opened her eyes to meet him. “Yes,” Mona replied, her voice soft with promises. “Forever,” she said without hesitation, her smile held no uncertainty, because forever was familiar to her, because forever was something that she loved.
"Let's stay together— forever ." Her lips repeated the forgotten vow, reclaiming it back from the void. She did not know who she was trying to convince: the little girl, the gentleman, herself, or—
Underneath the orange sky, on the sandy beach of the summer island, Mona was twirling and twirling. Her flare skirt was fluttering, forming waves like the nearby sea. She was giggling, a wide grin that did not hide her teeth, as the man kept turning her again and again.
“Albedo!” She whined playfully and finally, the Chief Alchemist stopped his teasing, pulling her into an embrace.
Mona fell face-first into his chest, smothered by the smell of cedarwood, fresh cecilia, and the mints from Dragonspine. When she lifted her head, she was greeted by a pair of viridescent, looking at her with utter reverence, and absolute gratefulness for being permitted to hold her this close.
And Mona's hand cupped his cheek, looking into his eyes—catching a glimpse of something. Her eyes peered deeper into those lush irises—trying to grasp that something—which could not be touched. What was there to clench when it was merely a glimpse of the past? Something that had long gone from her clutch?
“Sorry, I couldn’t turn Klee down when she heard we’re going to the beach.” Albedo was smiling at her, tucking a stray strand to the back of her ear. Together they glanced at the picnic mat under the big red umbrella, where the summer child was sleeping blissfully. “Next time, it’ll be only us. I promise.” His face came closer and Mona happily welcomed the soft touch on her lips.
She looked at his closed lids. Though closed, her mind could reshape his eyes, dazzling with the color of green. Yet, bright was not a color that her eyes were accustomed to gazing into. Darker, and duller, and if golden yellow could be skimmed from those stunning green—his color would emerge.
What a wonderful summer. What a happy day. The love between people will never disappear ; indeed, what once had been there, never really left.
・・・━━━☂★━━━・・・
The humming girl was walking at the very front with her regal flying companion, her black dress swishing with her slight movement, leading the mortals through the danger of the dark was her noblesse oblige. Following the Prinzessin was the esteemed honorary knight, her flying companion, and the renowned astrologist.
Slightly slumped back, with frayed hair, and dirt building up their equipment, the group had investigated a domain per the Guild's request.
The thousands of winds blowing throughout Windrise rustled the grassy plains. The humming of the girl harmonized with the crickets in the background. The sun had bid the day farewell as the moon accompanied the group of adventurers' way back home.
"Ah!!" The sudden exclamation halted the group's steady step as well as the peaceful hum of the ruler of the everlasting night.
"Mona! Finger! Ring!" Paimon was literally screeching throughout the plains, shocking the hiding dendro slimes into jumping and hiding underground again.
Instinctively, Mona raised her hand, her finger that sparkled with the moonlight, and covered the gemstone from the four pairs of eyes looking at her.
The Prinzessin crossed her arms, looking so proud of her royal advisor of the stars. "Ahem!" She demanded respect. "Your Prinzessin had long predicted such union under the stars, yet she uttered not a decree, lest the hazard of the abyss might taint the purest hearts."
"Mein Fraulein is saying that she saw the ring last week but is waiting for Miss Mona to say it first." Her loyal servant kindly translated her regal speech for the commoners' ears.
"Last week?! Paimon just noticed it because it gleamed beautifully under the moonlight! It gotta be expensive!" The fairy shrieked in disbelief.
Lumine remained neutral. Not really surprised because that fairy only had eyes for food and Mona's diamond ring was not edible. Not surprised at all that her friend was engaged to the man who was madly in love with her.
Mona offered them an abashed smile, fiddling with her fingers, at a loss of words to say.
"Let the wind sing and the trees dance tonight, for you, my reliable star-seeker. May you walk under the sun's brightness for the rest of your life together with your fellow truthseeker." Fischl hugged her best friend, wishing for her happiness from the bottom of her magnanimous heart.
"You won't worry for the rest of your life now, Mona. Albedo will take care of you and pamper you, oh my gosh, unlimited free food for the rest of your life??" Paimon was getting excited by herself.
"That gentleman will never make you cry," Oz added his congratulations.
Amid the congratulatory party, the traveler clad in white raised a question. "So, are you happy?"
Cold sweat took over control of her body. Mona felt her heart sinking from the weight of Lumine's words.
Upon her silence, the other three turned to inspect her face, gauging for the truth hidden underneath.
"Do you still think-" Fischl asked without her usual poise.
Mona shook her head lightly, not too eager lest the truth be spilled. "I moved on," she said, looking deep into Fischl's worried eyes. "I moved on," she said twice, for everyone else to hear.
"Of course! Mona is not stupid to choose that guy over Albedo," Paimon scoffed, lightly slapping the traveler's shoulder for uttering such a bad joke.
“Albedo is a far better catch! He is smart, he is kind, he works as a respectable captain of Favonius Knight, he is Klee’s bestest brother, and more than anything, he is head over heels for Mona!” Paimon explained without being asked, of which Fischl and Oz nodded in agreement.
Mona was not stupid , they believed in their astrologist.
Mona laughed. Her laughter shocked her companions. "How could you compare them? It's rude to Albedo to be compared with a gremlin!"
Together, they laughed. Their laughter filled the emptiness of the night as they resumed their journey back to the safety of Mondstadt's walls. But, one person kept looking back, to the stony ruins by the beach far from sight, to the place under the meteor shower far in the past, to the fake smile and flowing veils far from her reach.
The moment they reported everything to Katherine, they split up for the night to their own abodes. Two adventurers, who had ended their day, waved toward them. Amy's parents called her home and she hurriedly left with her pet bird. After buying tomorrow's breakfast from Blanche, the traveler and her companion also bid the astrologist a farewell.
"Good night, sleep tight, Mona," Paimon said with a big yawn that slurred her sentence. She was floating far in the front, urging the traveler to quickly rest for the night.
"Good night, Paimon, Lumine." Mona replied as she waved to the fairy and to Lumine who had finished her payment.
Lumine, with a bag of bread in her hand, walked beside Mona. "Good night, Mona." She placed her free hand on Mona's shoulder and inched closer, seemingly having something more to say to her.
The hydromancer set her ears to tune in to the traveler's gracious voice.
“He won’t come back.”
Lumine whispered into her ears but Mona felt like receiving one of her lethal wind blades.
She froze on the spot, not expecting an ambush from her ally . Mona glanced sideways to be met with distrust in her golden irises. Nothing got past the savior of four nations: not the divine dragon of the storm, not the sovereign of the raging sea, not the ideals of eternity, not even the calamity's transgression in the desert of ignorance—and, especially, not a lie from a stupid scholar.
Mona's whole being was being stomped like an ant on the pavement under the traveler’s lack of faith. She gulped soundlessly. “I moved on, Lumine,” Mona repeated her lie.
The traveler met Mona’s eyes with an ultimatum. “I killed him,” she said, her palms spread out and then clenched into fists, “with these hands.”
Mona stayed still, trying to appear unaffected as if the hero’s allegation was a big mistake on her end.
“If for some reason, he were still alive…" The following seconds felt like being stretched to eternity before they broke into pieces. "I would kill him again.”
What Lumine saw was hope and she was here to crush it completely. What Lumine saw was insanity and she was here to mock it without mercy.
“That calamity has no place in this world.” There was only hatred emanating from her whole being and Mona unconsciously shuddered under her divine wrath. With that last sentence, the traveler patted Mona’s shoulders and went on her way, as if she hadn't just declared a proclamation of war to the vanquished.
Mona turned around and walked to her home. The only building she could call home in this city of freedom which was rented for cheap and hosted all her possessions. Mona closed her door, locked it, and stored the key in the drawer. She trudged the carpet and sat on the cheap sofa in the middle of the room.
She sat there accompanied by silence for who knew how long. When she finally moved, it was only her fingers, flicking the lamp switch on and off and on and off.
—and on.
In light, there was darkness.
No matter how bright it was, a shadow would cast itself behind everything. Maybe, because of how bright it was, the more prominent the shadow would be. Even the shining diamond on her ring finger cast a shadow, which looked even darker and bigger with each passing second, overwhelming her senses.
—and off.
Nothing existed besides black. Nothing could coexist with black. Black was everything she saw even under the light because in untainted darkness, because only in absolute darkness, there was him alone, smiling at the corner of her eyes.
But she was forced to live with the sun, forever chasing the shadow of the past.
・・・━━━☂★━━━・・・
The sudden gust of chill brought along the smell of yellow oil paint and chalk. Mona rustled from her sleeping bag where she finally noticed the loss of warmth that was supposed to be by her side. Wrapping the warm blanket over her shoulder, she walked to the exit of the cave, to be under the glittering sky and next to its reflection on the canvas.
"Can't sleep?" She asked.
He hummed, his hand didn't stop brushing colors on the canvas, creating harmony on the medium that she would never use.
"I'm wondering how you look at the stars." Albedo's eyes observed the night sky filled with stars. He decided on one star and began to mix red and blue on his palette.
"The past, present, future, everything is written in the stars," she answered, hands spread out to touch the stars. "How do I look when looking at the stars?" She turned to face him, asking his question back to him.
He laughed, caught off-guard by her excellence. He put down his brush and palette, leaving the painting away from the final touch. Albedo lifted her blanket and wormed his way to her side, wrapping both of them into a single bundle for warmth as they sat by the edge of the cliff.
"Full of hope," he said, eyes trained on hers.
Mona giggled, not expecting that answer. "Where did that come from?" The Albedo that she expected would choose either praiseworthy dedication or Klee-like innocence to describe her obsession with the starry sky.
Albedo pulled her closer, pulled her head to rest on his shoulder as he leaned onto her. "To each star that exists and does not exist, you make a wish."
Mona nuzzled into his cheek, feeling the warmth spreading from her heart to her whole body.
His fingers were lightly tapping on her shoulder until he gripped them to hold her close.
"You wish they are not real."
Mona jolted from his hold but he held her back. She opened her mouth. She had to say something, mutter some excuses, prove him wrong, just utter something.
His finger was on her lips.
"Sor—"
"I love you."
He said to quiet her apology, his thumb brushing over her pink lips.
"I have never wanted a person as much as I want you."
His gaze was soft and sincere.
"It is my selfish desire to keep you for myself."
He took her hand in his and scattered chaste kisses on the back of her hand.
"I'll love your part too."
His selfish vow to her.
"Just stay by my side forever ."
The respectable gentleman, a captain of Favonius Knight, the genius chief alchemist, the loving brother to Klee, the wise mentor to Sucrose and Timaeus; fellow erudite who sought the truth of the world, fellow skeptics of the root of the world; a tender lover, a committed lover, the perfect lover.
If perfection existed as a human, it would be Albedo. He was perfection itself, exactly what Mona ever needed, lacking nothing and possessing everything; to complement her, to stand as her equal, to love her for all her imperfections.
Fate had brought perfection to her doorstep and what could she do but accept? For it could not be changed nor could it be reversed, as such was called fate.
The inverted starry sky that was reflected on her water's surface—showed the truth of the world. Everything is written in the stars; but that everything ostracized her everything .
As she gazed into the pair of perfect viridescent, she saw herself being reflected there, a bit more graceful than she saw herself, a lot more beautiful than she perceived herself. Yet, her eyes were seeing shadows, of something darker and bluer, with a tint of manic violet; the black hole that engulfed her entire body and sucked her entire soul until she forgot who she was.
Mona wished, oh how Mona wished, that the starry sky was one gigantic hoax —a lie.