Chapter Text
“That didn’t go well,” Diego.
“No. Not our best work.” Five.
“Oh, I’m cracking.” Klaus.
“You all right?” Allison asks, the question directed to Luther.
“I don’t know yet,” is his response. “I’ve just never had my ass handed to me like that before. It’s like…here you go. It’s your ass.”
“Okay, I think Luther’s concussed.”
Definitely concussed. No doubt about it.
“Luther, how many fingers?” Klaus questions, holding up three fingers to Luther and Allison’s general direction.
“Oh my god. Vanya.”
Allison point behind Luther, revealing Vanya walking down a set of stairs by the benches they were sitting at.
“Oh! Thank God you’re alive.” Vanya.
“You okay?” Allison.
“Apparently so is Ben,” Klaus muses.
“Yeah, and he’s a complete dickhead.” Allison supplies.
“They’re all dickheads,”
“DIckheads who can fight.”
“Okay, the next person to say dickhead is getting a punch to the throat.” Five says with a groan, proceeding that statement is a chorus of ‘dickhead’ from the other Hargreeves siblings. Five just rolls his eyes at that.
“Hey, did Dad tell you why he was calling them his kids?” Diego questions.
“He sure did,” Klaus laughs, “You ready? Dad was so repulsed by us back in Texas, that he adopted an entirely different group of children just so that he didn’t have to raise us.”
“That’s just peak Dad, huh?”
“Isn’t it?”
“So he just didn’t want us anymore?” Vanya asks.
“Did he ever?”
“See? I told you we shouldn’t have asked for his help in ‘63.”
“I think you’re all missing the big picture here.” Five says. “If Dad didn’t adopt us as kids, he changed the timeline. So who knows what else is different now.”
“Shouldn’t you know?” Allison asks, pointing a finger at Five.
“Sorry, Allison, but it might take me more than twenty minutes nad a traumatic brain injury to figure this all out.”
His head still ached from being hit by Lila’s frying pan only a mere three or so hours ago. He could barely think straight and he needed time . It’s unfair of his siblings to ask him to figure everything out in twenty minutes.
“Is that okay with you?” Five sneers, obviously pissed by his tone.
“No, actually, it’s not.” Allison retorts, a similar tone in her own voice to Five’s.
I just got here along with you and the others, Allison! I have no idea what the fuck is up with this place other than we weren’t adopted by dear old dad as kids. Okay? We’re back in 2019 at the very least, and I need some time before wracking my brain to figure out what the fuck is going on here! You can’t just demand I give you a solution in five fucking minutes!
“Guys, look, it’s fine,” Vanya adds, stopping Five from saying what he wants to. “We still have The Commission’s briefcase, so worst case, we can just go back in time and fix it.”
“Great.”
“Okay,” Five sighs, standing up. “There are two problems with that statement. First off–”
“Here we go” Klaus groans. Five immediately wants to slap him but elects not to.
“Time travel is a complicated thing, people.”
“Yeah we get it, your job is so hard ,” Diego mocks. “Just…what?”
One more insulting peep out of you and your face is meeting the floor. I’ve had enough of your shit, Diego.
“And secondly,” Five continues, doing nothing but giving Diego a death glare, “I no longer have the briefcase.”
“Five, where the hell is the briefcase?!”
“Somewhere in the Academy, I assume. I didn’t find it before we left, so it must be there.”
“Great, Five, you lost the briefcase, our one way to get up home!”
“Shut. The. Fuck. Up , Diego.” Five glares.
“Or what?”
Five blinks directly in front of Diego. “I will knock you to the ground. You know how much I’ve done for you? For the whole fucking family?”
“Try me, Tiny.”
“No one is fighting anyone!” Vanya half-yells, already starting to hold Five back. Five blinks a few feet away.
“V, my darling sister, I have had half this family bitch at me for things that are out of my control just in the last twenty minutes, not to mention back in Dallas when everyone was on my ass constantly, once again blaming me for things I had no control over. I’m fucking sick of it, V. I should leave all of you to take care of your own damn shit in this timeline. Figure shit out yourselves. I don’t want to be bitched at for not knowing all the new kinks of this timeline when it’s been twenty minutes. Not to mention my TBI and exhaustion . I just spent the last twenty odd days in a row saving the universe? Okay? And what do I get, V? Nothing . No thank you, no apologies… nothing .”
Vanya looked shocked, taken aback by what Five said. Diego and Allison are back to bitching at him.
“You were the one who threw us into the 60s, Five! If you didn’t, we could’ve gone back to our timeline and everything would be perfectly fine and normal again! But no. You went back and fucked us all over.” Diego sneers. “I should’ve stayed in the goddamn nuthouse.”
“Everything was better in the ‘60s, Five! Then you came along and the world nearly ended in a nuclear holocaust of World War Three, dammit! We had lives in the 60s!”
“Good to know you were doing well without me. Shows you don’t need me. Live your lives, make new families, do whatever the fuck you want. I don’t care anymore .”
Five blinks away before he can hear another insult.
He lands…somewhere. The Sparrow Academy doors.
Not there. I can’t show my face in there .
He hears some commotion behind the door, it opening to reveal one of Hargreeves’ new adopted daughters. He doesn’t know their names just yet.
She looks at Five, confused.
“Sorry, ended up here by accident.” Five mutters.
“You’re hurt worse than I thought…is this all from fighting Jayme?”
“Who?”
“Number Six? The one with the venom.”
“Oh. Yes, mostly. Who are you?”
“I could ask you the same. I never got your name.”
“Five. Hargreeves.”
“Sloane Hargreeves, Number Five. It’s a pleasure to meet you properly.” Slone responds, walking down the stairs to where Five stood.
“You’re…Five?”
Sloane nods. “You’re an Umbrella. Why’d you come here of all places?”
“Don’t know, I blinked away from my family and…ended up here.”
Sloane nods, and one of the other Sparrow sisters is standing at the door. “Bring him in.”
“Fei-”
“Bring him in. He can be used to get to his siblings.”
“I don’t know about that,” Five mutters. Sloane gives him a look, promising that he won’t get hurt. “I don’t have a choice here, do I?”
“No you don’t” Fei responds. “Now, Sloane, get him in here before I make you.”
Sloane mutters something under her breath and escorts Five inside, Five practically collapsing right before it. Blood loss.