Chapter Text
Dazai would never have thought that the two of his pupils could have grown into an annoyingly clingy couple. But here they were.
Stupidly in love.
Because it was stupid, right?
Coming from attempting towards each other's life almost daily to basically growl if anyone tries to disturb their little love bubble.
Chuuya agrees, that time when Dazai came to check on him about the situation, since one of the implicates was his work buddy on the mafia. A feral one.
It's been months since the Bram incident safely ended. Dazai was alive, Sigma sleeps now under the Agency protection, Fyodor was god-know-where with Nikolai, and Chuuya has reverted the vampire ability and was human again.
What happened with Akutagawa, you say?
Well–
He was already dead by the time Bram's ability reached him, so the boy remained the vampire form, although it was fully conscious now.
He can think for himself and be in control of almost all his actions. He preserves his rashoumon ability, since he still has a human soul.
Honestly, apart from the thin fangs that now brush his lips he is barely different from any other human.
He's sicker than ever, yes, because now he needs blood and despite everything his body has needed to adjust to the new reality. The first weeks felt like a weird cough to him. He was feverish and shivering all the time, light upset him and his head spined. He couldn't eat anything, even if his human system was still functional for such a task, but food simply tasted like iron and mud. This grew better with time, when his taste buds learned to feel the flavors again. And so did the light issue, turning in an occasional migraine.
He can live now more or less like he used to do.
Dazai pointed out one day that he was a little sourer than before, though.
But he hasn't had any major trauma, considering that he had been killed.
Not the same can be addressed to Atsushi.
The boy felt guilty, at first.
When he and Akutagawa finally managed to have /the/ conversation they came to the conclusion that nobody had any fault, not even Dazai. Akutagawa did sacrifice himself at his own responsibility, and fortunately things ended just good. He was alive. Technically immortal, though weirdly his body will keep aging for what Poe had told them.
His main task now was, in fact, keeping himself alive. He couldn't produce his own blood, nor absorb most of the nutrients through food.
Here is where Atsushi came in.
If Akutagawa can't make blood, meaning that he needs to obtain it from others, then Atsushi will become that others.
“It's the least I can do to amend myself” he did say. “If I'm the cause for you to live like this then I will live for you too.”
Which, really, wasn't necessary, in Akutagawa's opinion. He decided this for himself, but he also knew the other wasn't going to surrender this easily. As far as he knew, Atsushi would constantly look for reasons to blame and punish himself, and he wasn't blind either: this was a big one. He got to understand why the boy would go this far.
The promise they made months ago was left forgotten, of course.
One day, Atsushi silly Atsushi, would even say “If you feel like killing me I wouldn't complain, you would have every right.”
This was only a few months after moving together, to make things easier.
“I'll starve if you die, so I'm not feeling like killing you” was his only response. It was a lie, he would only need to find another blood source and it feels relatively easy to accomplish this task. But a full supportive, 24/7, blood donor? A one who hardly would die from blood loss, thanks to a regeneration tiger-ability?
A one who was also a friend, an almost-partner?
Conveniently, the tiger ability allowed Atsushi to regenerate his blood loss really fast, so Akutagawa could satiate himself with no worries. He could have everything, and the tiger would have offered him everything.
The boy knew that this helped Atsushi to feel a little better. Useful. He was never asked for anything beyond sanity, and indeed Akutagawa had rarely felt hungry enough to not being able to measure his needs. He couldn't do much to alleviate the other's guilt, more than reassuring him and giving him a task. Oh, he knew very well how decisive it was to have a will to live.
At times, he came to feel even more human than before.
In many ways, Atsushi had become his heart.
—
“I'm home!” Atsushi has barely entered the house when darkness falls on him, squeezing his neck. Literally.
He needs to fight for a moment with the strands of raven hair now tickling his nose as he tries to keep his balance to not fall backwards.
"You are late!" exclaims a demanding voice. “I was /starving/”
Once back on the floor, Atsushi can see the outraged halo on the other -he'll deal with that later- but now he's just processing this new style of home-welcoming.
“...Ryuu, you were hanging from the ceiling by any chance?”
Akutagawa doesn't answer, but his eyes are self-explicative.
“Oh wow, that's weirdly on brand for a vampire.”
He snorts, indignantly, as if he were just doing the most normal thing.
“Buh-”
Atsushi hardly has time to remove his coat when the other is already pulling from his sleeves to make him go inside home. They both stumble until they reach the sofa on the corner of the living, to proceed to fall in there. But Akutagawa doesn't immediately feed. He curls himself in the other, to seek his scent, and it's only then when he deeply breathes, like if it was the first time that day that air reaches his lungs. He would do that poorly hiding his needs around a facade that presumably tries to represent the whim of a demanding kid.
But Atsushi has noticed, under the territorial appearance there's this one thing: longing. For a person who has lost his very human being the boy is yearning for anything grounding,
Atsushi smiles, giving him time to adjust comfortably.
“There's no need to hurry. We have all the time in the world.”
Slowly, Akutagawa relaxes in the embrace, setting himself towards the other body. Atsushi mimics the gesture, holding tight around his waist and shoulders, to bury his nose in his hair. The low voice of the other asks, distant.
“So, how was your day?”
Their little routine always starts with that question, trivial as any, and mostly just an excuse to initiate a conversation. Going straight to the biting part would be kind of impolite, right? Akutagawa doesn't mind at all about what's happening outside, and if the tiniest hint of curiosity lurked within him, Atsushi wouldn't know either.
“Uh, not much. I did all the paperwork Dazai left on purpose, and I was told to teach Sigma how to patrol by himself,” Atsushi explains. Akutagawa hums appreciatively, not leaving his side. His hands are wandering around, playing with the soft fabric of the other's clothes as he speaks.
“And I think I kinda missed you.”
At that, Akutagawa lifts his head to look at him.
“You did?”
Atsushi shrugs, mentally waving away the thought of failure everytime he goes far from the vampire. “I suppose. I know you are fine alone, but sometimes I feel like I should be here in case you need…”
“You are here,” interrupts Akutagawa. “Don't overthink about that. And, we have phones, I can call you if needed.”
He nods, and it's then when he notices how Akutagawa has been pulling down the collar of his sweater.
“Dinner time, then?”
“I guess,” Akutagawa drags his words while unbuttoning the top of Atsushi's shirt, and then stops to look at him. “Can I?”
Here, there is a thing he's been doing since the beginning. Even if there's no need, Akutagawa would always ask him for consent before biting. And even if this is a task, an obligation, a punishment Atsushi would always smile at it from his very core.
Just as every other day, his body shivers in anticipation any time he feels the other's breath over his neck.
“Of course. Serve yourself.”
And he's already used to this routine, but the sensation still feels overwhelming.
A sharp fang caresses the thin skin, without going through it yet, just awakening the spot calmly.
“Tell me if it stops being bearable”, he is warned.
But it's okay, Akutagawa would always end before Atsushi could ever start to feel dizzy. And when the bite finally comes, he shudders.
First, he would feel warmth in his insides, like a volcano that just awakens. Just like lava climbing up his throat until it reaches the spot touched by the vampire's bite. He had read that people could freak out during a blood loss, that you would be cold and you may start to breathe faster. But then, what Atsushi feels is an immense state of calm. Everything around becomes silent as he feels the blood running outside his body, and it's so intense that Atsushi needs to close his eyes everytime, fully focused on the sensation of having the other boy over him. Inside him.
Like his soul leaving his body.
The grip around his clothes tightens, and it's then that Atsushi comes back to reality, to feel how the other is peacefully licking the last drops of blood from his neck.
“You okay?” during the bite Akutagawa has changed his position and he's looking now at him from above, crawled over him. Atsushi didn't realize, lost in his blissful dreaming, but he slid slowly lying on the sofa. After a couple of blinks, he's able to focus on his partner's wrinkled gaze, who has just asked him a question, he remembers. Lifting a hand to clean one blood drop from the other lips, he smiles calmly nodding.
“Sure. Hope it's been a nice meal.”
In no time, Atsushi feels how his ability starts working, and he regenerates to the previous state. Energy comes back to his muscles like nothing happened, just like he can spot glittery in Akutagawa's ebony eyes as he is now fully satiated.
They aren't tired, no. But, speaking frankly, this exchange is emotionally exhausting.
They both fell asleep after that, curled into each other.
It's not like Akutagawa physically needs to. As said, he can survive on his own, and he's choosing and allowing Atsushi to stay. Yes, because Akutagawa doesn't need him at all.
But maybe, as he nestles his head between his arms, he could admit being missing him as well.
—
Akutagawa has said over and over he was fine on his own, but Atsushi's brain seems unable to process and actually believe that sentence. And, being fair, he has a hunch of hints pointing that the vampire could still have some circumstances to fix.
So, working at the Agency is kinda stressful these days. He keeps his old assignments and fairly talking almost nothing has changed. He's not even tired. But somehow, he's distracted most of the day. His coworkers have seen him lost in thoughts more than once. They can't blame him, though. Even if he is not fully aware of it yet, Atsushi is still processing a harsh event, adjusting himself to a life routine that came suddenly and despicable.
And he's still processing guilt.
It's his responsibility and right now it feels wrong to be far from him. He should be always at his side, Atsushi thinks. He wants to go home.
He's been mumbling that thought all day.
It doesn't help at all that Dazai decided to wander nonsense today. His usual childish plays feels especially annoying, and when Atsushi crumpled without a blink a paper plane that just landed on his desk the baby whining of Dazai infuriates him.
He can tell, by the sour look on his young companion.
“Oi, oi, Atsushi. Don't get grumpy all of sudden,” Dazai raises his hands. “You're already a weretiger, you'll look like the Alpha of your cute herd of one.”
“Actually, two,” he growls. “We adopted a fish.”
Dazai can't comment on how funny it's a cat adopting a little poor fish because Sigma, blessed Sigma, pops from nowhere feeling the stress in the other.
He stands between them, trying to create a safe space, before asking with his usual worried face.
“It's everything ok, Atsushi?”
Mouth in a thin line, the boy shakes his head, not really knowing what to say. But he's frustrated at the unwelcomed feeling, almost since he left their house that morning. It's unsettling and awkward, the way normality has been turned upside down and how he has seen their priorities collapsing into pitch void. He never felt this lost, yet seeing his role so clear at the same time.
These days, the storm that has been silently growing into him seems to be skimming the exit door.
“I shouldn't be here,” he murmurs.
Dazai peeks out from behind sigma with his arms crossed and an ironic smile.
“Oh? And where should you be now?”
“Home! With Ryuu!”
I have to protect him.
Atsushi's eyes are gleaming to the point the others fear he will start crying. But the boy just clenches his fists and sits back with his head bowed.
Ah, here it is, Dazai thinks as Sigma hurries to hug the boy.
It's not a mystery to the Agency the nature of his uncomfortability. They know well, and by the brief explanation they received about what could happen this seems to be the case. Guilt, but also punishment, even if he doesn't feel it as such. And the urgency of being close, like two bonded silly penguins.
Dazai can understand him clearly as the day.
Atsushi would probably need more time to understand himself.
And maybe the two boys will learn and be capable of developing an actual healthy relationship, but right now this is mere symbiosis and a burden.
Laying a hand on the trembling shoulder of the boy Dazai sighs.
“Ok, you can go home now.”
It's the smartest decision for now, and there's no need to stress a boy capable of turning into a tiger. What a mess of wrecked papers that would be in their little office. Sending him to his safe environment would work, even if said environment it's also a potential danger. But that's work for the future, Dazai considers. A task for tomorrow.
(They can't possibly know how close they are to said future, though.)
“Atsushi,” he adds before the boy leaves. And he's serious now. “Don't allow this to erase who you are.”
—
It's a relief being home. Alone, safe, surrounded by nothing but silence and the slow breath of the other.
It was almost an unnoticeable transition, but with the days passing by he's been feeling more and more the water around his neck, drowning.
Now he's peacefully sleeping, head lying on housemate's lap, while errant fingers play with his hair.
He came, and found Akutagawa reading. The boy raised an eyebrow, confused at first, but soon they both fell into the peaceful pattern of being together, with not a care in the world. It's nice, how fast and easy they got used to the presence of the other. Sharing literal blood helps, though, this is the argument Akutagawa built for himself to explain why he feels just fine living with the tiger boy. Never in his life had he felt comfortable in the company of other people, except for his sister. Although if you ask him, at this moment Atsushi is closer to a cat taking a nap than an actual human.
He keeps playing abstenly with the white strands of short hair, immersed in his reading. The soothing sound of pages turning from time to time is only interrupted with an echo when Akutagawa closes the book, making the other to stir on his lap.
“You done?”
Akutagawa is not looking but he can feel the lazy sleepiness in that voice. He only hums in response, as he moves his hands to caress more consciously the soft hair.
“Are you feeling better? Do you feel like eating something?”
“Not really. I guess I'm just tired.”
Doesn't seem to convince Akutagawa very much, and God knows the man can be stubborn.
“It can't be possible that you lack energy because of blood loss, right? I mean, if your ability regenerates everything at all…”
Atsushi considers for a second, discarding the option quickly because although its ability may be unforeseen, it's been enough time to know how it works.
“Definitely not that,” and he hurries to sit up and stretch his body from the nap. Concern is all over his roommate's face, frowning like an upset kitten, so he concludes the conversation, depositing a tender kiss on the tip of his nose. “It's fine, ok? Just stay around.”
´Stay where I can reach you´
Akutagawa nods, as if staying was a choice. With the sun cheerfully hugging the sky he couldn't go anywhere without at least an umbrella and sunglasses, and honestly he prefers not having to.
(Besides, the only available umbrella is the one with kitty ears that Atsushi received from Ranpo.)
Besides, he wouldn't go anywhere without Atsushi by his side, anyway.
So, after declaring that he's cooking something for him, requested or not, a few minutes later Akutagawa chops vegetables in the small kitchen while the boy remains between cushions on the sofa, napping again. He is so deep in his dreams that when the phone vibrates is heard first by Akutagawa. Although he can concede that his audition is much better now.
It's no surprise the incoming message.
From: Sigma
// ey, how is going??
// mind if we go check on you?
// lucy has goodies 🐭🦕🤹
Sigma is always good news, really. The boy has an unique way to be practical and reassuring at the same time, and Akutagawa knows by good that he's very aware of the smallest changes on Atsushi. He's perceptive. He's an actual presence on the Agency that Akutagawa trusts.
Shaking him by the shoulders, Akutagawa wakes up Atsushi.
“You're taking your role very seriously. Aren't tigers supposed to sleep a lot?”
“Oh, fuck you,” exhale the boy rubbing his eyes.
He's still half asleep when an inviting soup bowl is placed in front of him, as the other takes a seat next to him.
“Ok, first I beg you not to leave yourself to starve. Eat,” he commands. “Second, we have a visit.”
“How's my favorite set of freaks??” the playful loud sing of Lucy rings on both of them the second the girl slams into the room. “I have games and cookies!”
Behind her, Sigma lifts up an arm holding a bunny-stamped bag that smell vainilla.
Sigma and Lucy now live together at the Agency dorms, in the one that used to be Atsushi's. Somehow they turned to become really great friends, and they share a common worry for the tiger's well-being, so eventually they also became a more than welcome visit in their flat. To Akutagawa they were almost bearable to have around, as long as they stayed quiet and controlled in one spot in the living room. Sleepover parties are not really his thing, but he can make an exception and allow his roommate's friends to have the sofa for one night. Especially if it helps Atsushi to forget whatever overthink he is having for a while.
“Oh, you can't play the cards like that!”
If only he remember how competitive and annoying Atsushi can become.
“Play better, then? Not my problem,” saying that, Lucy throws Atsushi a new buch pile of cards the boy just got in the last turn.
They argue as if any of them could win against Sigma, former casino owner, who is quietly running off of cards without anyone noticing. At this point, Akutagawa would bet he has memorized every card of the deck.
Still, the night goes smoothly and normal.
They ever dare to ignore a call from Mori, probably to check over the vampire issue.
This weird curse on them can be addressed tomorrow, for sure.
Their only care in the world right now is the old horror movie Lucy chose which is now playing on tv, and the way Atsushi is occasionally squeezes his arm shielding both of them with a pillow.
—
The sleepover seems to make the trick, and the following week goes very much better.
Sigma sends daily updates to Akutagawa, informing about how Atsushi looks fine to him. It's not that Akutagawa doesn't trust his roommate, but he learnt that Atsushi could go distressful without even noticing. He would notice, on the way the boy sometimes walk errant through their home, or the way he would persistently shake just one leg.
It also helps that Akutagawa is slowly incorporating to his actual job. That was apparently the reason behind Mori's call nights ago. Well, he could guess a vampire will be mostly useful in a mafia. He's still not leaving home, but he promised to work on that. It's not that going outside scared him, just a little bit. He got too used to their little bubble, so the thought of building a new routine and facing some mental trickery isn't very appealing. Of course, therapy would be the best option, for both of them actually, but speaking to someone about what happened is still the big wall to surpass.
He's lost in these thoughts as he swings himself again hanging by the ceiling when he hears the light steps approaching the door. When Atsushi enters the house, he's ready to drop from the roof and ceremonially fall on the other. It has become a little ritual, more like an internal joke because it's always followed by a dead-serious “hi from your favorite bat.”
Atsushi hugs him tightly, and there's no retorts or greetings before addressing them both to the bedroom. He doesn't care about anything but the fact that he's a little bit late today and the big vampire must be hungry. They fall sloppily over the mattress while Akutagawa is already unbuttoning the collar of his shirt. Atsushi feels tickles all over his neck as the soft strands of the other brushes his skin.
When the bite happens Atsushi lets himself to be trapped in the alluring comfort, in the way that having the other over him makes him feel full. Like the weight of all his universe could hide inside the rush of dopamine that the vampire bite provoques inside him. Almost subconsciously he lifts his hand to grab some strands of the ebony hair, inviting him to go deeper.
This is heaven.
He feels like offering every drop of his blood.
He would do that.
He wants to hold over and over again onto that feeling.
And maybe it's weird, wanting a bite so fiercely. But all his instincts are screaming in the same direction as it takes his breath away.
‘I don’t want this to ever end,‘ he thinks.
He can't focus on anything but his own skin burning under gentle vampire's touches, how his fingers move slowly over his shoulders to hold his jaw and keep him still. Overcomed the initial thirst, Akutagawa is drinking from him slowly, taking his time and using teeth and tongue over his skin. and almost savourizing him, enjoying him.
Atsushi tilts his neck to allow better access and it's almost a plea.
With this, Akutagawa doesn't really need any verbal consent to move forward and scratch the white skin, softly, puncturing little red dots because now that he's gone further this is becoming addicting.
He feels the tug on his waist when Atsushi grabs his sweater, keeping him close and fighting for dear life to remain quiet. From his position he can't look at his face, but he has the gut that Atsushi will be tightening eyes and mouth, the way he always does when something embarrasses him. The silent sound the boy tries to hide inside his mouth, half a cry-half a moan is actually felt by the other, with his whole body.
Because, sometimes it's like Atsushi could resonate all over his body.
When Akutagawa sits up to grab his arm and bring it closer to his mouth, their eyes meet, and he can't see any disapproval or fear in there. On the contrary, he can feel the need in the glow of his pupils, in the trembling frame, in his parted lips now that he allowed himself to breathe.
“Haven't bite you here in a while, huh,” he says, softly brushing his wrist. “Mind if, or it is too much?”
At that, Atsushi shakes his head.
“Do as you pleased, please.”
Akutagawa doesn't know why he felt the desire to drink from his wrist today. The urgency. This used to be the usual mechanic at the very beginning, when trust was still a work in progress. A way to keep distance. Today, Atsushi gently grabs his hair again as white teeth break the skin.
Long, slow sips drive the blood fast through his veins, Atsushi can feel it running down his arm, like the warmth of a ray cutting through the night. He still doesn't know if it's the loss that makes his head feel dizzy, but there's also pleasure in the adrenaline rush. He could bear two, three, dozens of more bitens. Akutagawa can have his neck, his arms and-
He never bit any other part of him, and the thought of moving that step forwards makes his stomach clenches.
Deep, but not hard.
He moves closer to rest his head on the hollow of the other's shoulder.
The bite doesn't last long, Akutagawa separates his teeth from the wrist breaking the thin thread of blood that is connecting them.
“... Guess dinner /and/ dessert are done,” he murmurs, a little taken aback.
Seriously, what's got into him for this last bite? He is not a wild thirsty animal.
And Atsushi looks vaguely weak now, even if he can regenerate, even if he agreed. But the vampire never was meant to take advantage of that, much less of letting instincts drive him.
He just seemed, for a short moment, unable to hold it back.
By the time he got to stop overthinking, Atsushi is lazily stretching out at his side, letting out a yawn, melting under the usual playful caresses on his hair.
“If I recall correctly, the sleeping one was the Beauty, not the Beast?”
“Ugh, you're annoying when you're full-”
“-of you,” the vampire cuts him. “Maybe blood is contagious?”
Jumping out of the bed as he screams “Stop you!” Atsushi announces he's going to the kitchen because unlike him he hasn't eaten yet.
Quietly waiting and lying flat on the bed Akutagawa meditates for a brief moment now that he's alone. He's satiated, completed, content.
Still, there's something bubbling his insides.
Like an invisible string that keeps pulling them close. As if the blood was calling, singing for them both.
Something that only eases when the tiger boy is back, settling next to him with a cookie box in his hand.
He got it clear.
Somehow they are drawn towards each other.
If it is the blood or something different, he can't tell, not now that the soothing scent is filling his senses again and he can't fight the urge to roll to his side to move closer.
And he is beyond comfortable right now. He's submerged in the embrace.
Akutagawa hides his nose in the softness of his sweater, breathing deep to fill his lungs with the sweet scent. Because Atsushi is cinnamon, lemon and warm milk, like a homemade dessert you'd expect to find in your childhood house.
Having the vampire pressed to his side is familiar, not only during the bites but in the aftermath.
This is way too domestic at this point, and frankly, they would never have guessed or anticipated this roadway. It was a plot twist, after all. But, Atsushi likes to think that maybe they would have ended up getting along anyway. They were so close back then, just before things messed up in the most inhuman possible way.
But now they are safe.
They have this.
They have each other. Their mornings and nights, their cries and prays.
Once the box has run out of cookies Atsushi slides down the mattress to catch up with the other until their heads are side to side. He wonders, eyes locked in the depth of black pupils, if Akutagawa would share this feeling of rightness.
They are exactly where they should, aren't they?
Dazai has said that what happened didn't change the fact that they are still able to work in partnership. That they were still them.
Atsushi wishes deep inside that Akutagawa would still want this. Them, as a duo. He wishes to share everything. He needs the other on him, inside him or around, he doesn't care. He wants to offer and, in a way weirdly visceral, he wants to have. To know.
How does his blood taste? Is it candy or is it iron?
His boney shoulders, how does it feel to hold them?
His trembling wrists, are they easy to bite?
How is he even enough?
Near to each other as their breaths mingle again lying down on the bed, Atsushi doesn't part his gaze from him, not for a moment. They are breathing steadily, slow and deep.
Atsushi could almost fall asleep right now.
Almost.
“... Sushi?” Akutagawa breaks the silence, quietly moving to hold his sweater between the tip of his fingers. “I've been thinking lately… ”
Atsushi's stomach jolts, not knowing what to expect, because he's used to mentally preparing for the worst and you can never tell Akutagawa's changes of mood. But-
“... most people must see me now like something else,” he starts to ramble “If a weapon or a monster I don't know, and I'm not sure if they'd expect me to behave like a radically different being, and I'm pretty sure that there must be a cultural perception of how vampires looks but- ”
“Oh, wait, hold on,” Atsushi cuts off his babbling. “You are still the same annoying punk, what are you talking about?”
“I have fangs, and I drink blood and I've been unalive, Sushi,” he hardened his expression. And so does Atsushi, frowning as he holds the other by the chin, staring.
“Ok, but that doesn't make you a zombie?” he says. Akutagawa doesn't shake when he answers.
“I know that.”
“Good.” And he meant it, because a world where Ryuu would consider himself less than a perfectly valid human would be too much to deal with. But he…
“Possibly most people won't think the same, though and I have to learn to understand this fact. And-”
“I don't think that!” The hold he keeps on the other grows tighter, just like the eyes in front of him widen. “I really don't think you are any different now, Ryuu.”
“I know, Sushi. I'm saying, but you keep interrupting me, you noisy brat,” and now it's Akutagawa's turn to hold him, by the fabric on his shoulders. “What I'm trying to say is that you at least seem to look at me normally and that I am glad I'm here with you. I meant to say thank you, silly.”
“T-thank you?...”
Atsushi feels lost. But the pair of eyes staring at him are determined.
“Yes.” And just- he just needs Atsushi to understand a simple thing.
"We've already talked about it. I don't blame you. If all, you have helped me to achieve some kind of normality, and that's a lot.”
He needs Atsushi to see that being here is a choice. That he could run to the Mafia quarters and he's not. That, of all people, he is the one who knows what it's like to suddenly become a fairytale creature overnight. Maybe Lucy was right and they are truly a pair of a circus show.
So, his choice now is to drop any mask and surrender to whatever feeling has been growing inside him during this time. Sincerity. Honesty. The things that he is not used to and it doesn't matter anymore.
“I want you.”
Oh.
Atsushi blinks.
"You- want me?“
“Yes.”
“You want me even if I-"
"You are the person keeping me alive. And the person I want to stay close to. I want you, little stubborn weretiger."
If he hadn't regenerated a moment ago, he'd swear there isn't a drop of blood left in his body. At the same time, he would say there's twice as many, running down his body, hitting his chest fast and loud. He's sure the vampire can hear the drum beat in his ribcage.
Because Atsushi wants him back.
So, it's not shocking when their lips meet. It's meant to be- it's meant to silent demons. It's calm, peace, sun and stars.
It fills his heart with warmth.
It's soft and shy, and it almost tickles where the fangs rub.
And in the moment Atsushi allows himself to kiss back his scent turns sweet around them, and so strong that Akutagawa wonders if he will be able to live without this from now.
It wasn't just the blood, after all. It has always been him, the shaky bravy tiger, his presence, his light, his bads and his goods.
He.
His.
They breathe on each other, sigh inside the other. Sprawled over the mattress, slowly toying with their lips while they discover this new form of them.
As gentle fingers hold his face Akutagawa breathes his lifeline, dazzled by the softness.
He wants to grab this soothing feeling and make it his coat.
When long minutes after they part away, they don't break the contact for a second. They keep peppering small kisses and nose rubs wherever their skin meet, and the hug they've locked the other into is infinite.
Happily resting on the hollow of his neck, Akutagawa can hear Atsushi's chest singing for both of them. He allows the soft vibrato to resonate around him, rocking his sleep.
He feels like offering his everything, truly, just to keep this sound alive.
‘Take from me everything you want,‘ he thinks.
Atsushi has him already, so what is the difference?
‘I'm already yours.‘
He can feel it at this point. There's something growing bigger, like the crescent moon that is just forming in the sky.
They just don't know yet.