Work Text:
Eddie had thick skin. He kinda had to since he had a pretty massive target on his back being one of the weirdest dudes in town and well past his graduation expiration date. But he was still human and he could be hurt, especially if they got him where he was already working himself over. It wasn’t lost on Eddie that he didn’t have much going for him. He was poor, his grades were shit, his dad was a felon, his mom was a drunk, he was 19 knocking on 20 fast and still in high school, most of his cash came from dealing and he didn’t really have any skills that were like, legal. He really didn’t have a lot going for him at all.
All he had was his music and he knew he was fucking good at guitar. He was completely confident in his skill, cocky even. But he also knew that there were plenty of bands and musicians didn’t get anywhere regardless of how good they were. His band would be breaking up soon as people got on with their lives. No one had said it out loud yet but they all knew it. Jeff was graduating and unlike Eddie he was going to college, out of state and everything. He didn’t know what the future held for him after that. How he was gonna get a new band together or get work playing.
Because that’s what he wanted to do. Even if he had to eat shit for a while to play guitar for some F tier pop studio just to keep the lights on he wanted to play guitar for a living. He couldn’t picture anything else. Of course given his failure to graduate he kept having to go see Ms. Kelley which fucking did the opposite of help. She was nice and like, genuinely cared and all but her questions and her doubts weedled into his brain. If it weren’t for the fact he wanted to make his uncle proud and prove to himself he could actually get a diploma unlike his folks he’d have blown out of this shithole ages ago.
When Ms. Kelley talked about the future and realistic planning and back ups it just fucked with his head. He’d heard stories about guys who knew their fucking shit and were kick ass musicians and they just. Never. Made. It.
All that prowess and talent and they just never broke through. Eddie wasn’t looking for rockstardom per say but he wanted a life. He needed to break out enough at least to get work playing. If he could get a band going that was good enough to make it with then even better.
His thoughts whirled like this for ages, one thread ebbing only for another to rise and there was no escape in sight. Billy shifted next to him on his bed. Billy was practically living here at this point, getting away from his old man, the bastard. Not that Eddie or Uncle Wayne minded. Eddie loved to have his boyfriend here with him as often as possible and Uncle Wayne had sussed out real quick what Billy’s deal was and just let it be. He was cool like that.
“What’s wrong Eds?”
Eddie peeled his eyes away from the ceiling to look over at here Billy lay next to him his book now laying on his stomach.
“Just you know, thinking.”
“Nothing good I’m guessing.”
“You know. The future. If I can make it.”
Billy’s expression changed and he lifted himself to his elbow, dumping his book on the floor.
“Ed you’re stupidly good, of course you’ll make it.”
“Lotta guys even better than me don’t.”
Billy cupped his cheek and Eddie was tempted to close his eyes, both because it just felt that nice and because he kinda didn’t want to look at Billy right now.
“And you got something they don’t.”
“Oh yeah? what’s that?”
“Staying power. I know you and you’d work at this shit relentlessly for a million years if you had to. Nothing is gonna make you fucking quit on making this your life. Plus you got me and I’m game for busting up the other guys’ hands before auditions.”
Eddie smiled. His sexy fucking thug.
“Think people might get suspicious if you take out all my competition babe.”
Billy grinned. “Then I’ll fuck them up too.”
Then he leaned down and kissed him and Eddie moaned a little, happy. His hands coming up to tangle in that gorgeous fucking hair. Billy was like, fitness model hot with the dreamiest fucking eyes. He knew some people swooned over how pretty and blue they were but what got him was how hooded they were, how it seemed like Billy was always half asleep. He looked like a cat that knew a secret and apparently Eddie was into that. Billy shifted on the bed so he was flush against Eddie now, the hand on his cheek dropping to pull Eddie into an embrace. Eddie went willingly, finding comfort in it. He wanted to hide away in Billy and his confidence for a while.
They parted and Billy began to drop little kisses all over his face, making him smile. Billy was only ever like this when he knew for sure they were alone. He guarded his vulnerability jealously. Even now it made Eddie feel even more special to him that he got to get the full uncut Hargrove experience. He got to see Billy when he wasn’t being anything but his basest self, got to see him when he let himself be soft and got to see him when he held out his heart. He couldn’t think of another person on earth who got to enjoy how fucking awesome it was to have Billy Hargrove kiss and nuzzle and cuddle like this. Warm and languid and loving, his grip was tight like he wanted to be closer than close.
“I love you babe. Don’t worry about that shit.”
Billy’s mustache scratched him as he mumbled against his jaw. Eddie’s heart still exploded when Billy said that shit out loud.
“Love you too Bils. Gotta say you do know how to lift a mood.”
Billy pulled back so he could smile his lazy cat smile down at him.
“Know how to lift your mood. Only one I give a shit about.”
Eddie laughed. “Hey I’m not complaining.”
Billy shifted and ran his hands down Eddie’s sides, his mouth hung in a lopsided smile. He pressed a kiss to Eddie’s lips before he got up and pulled Eddie with him. Eddie let Billy drag him off the bed though he didn’t get why he was doing it in the first place.
“What’s up?”
“I’m takin’ you out. Not just gonna let you stew in your bad thoughts. Gotta let this place clear out of the bad vibes you’ve been puttin’ out.”
Eddie snorted. “Gee thanks for that.”
Billy wrapped his arm about Eddie’s waist, slipping his hand into Eddie’s back pocket. Again he cupped Eddie’s face and kissed him tenderly. He could feel the love in that press of lips, the care. Eddie followed Billy out to his Camaro and got in the passenger side. It was always weird getting in Billy’s car, it was so much lower than his van. But Billy liked to drive Billy’s car and basically nothing else.
“Do I get to know where we’re going?”
Billy looked over at him, head leaning back against the headrest. “Where the fuck do you think I’d take you?”
“Diner or record shop?”
He started the car. “Record shop. But we can hit the diner after, get some milkshakes and fries.”
A smile slowly spread over Eddie’s face. “I love you man.”
“Yeah, I know. Said that earlier dipshit.” He gunned it down the road.
In the record shop surrounded by music he felt alive again. He prowled the aisles, not expecting to really find anything he didn’t have or was waiting for but it didn’t matter. Just trawling through the vinyls and seeing the bands he loved as he went sent a jolt through him every time. Set his soul on fucking fire and made his fingers itch to play as he remembered his top songs off albums as they went by.
Billy was right next to him, casually flicking through the vinyls as well, just the right distance away to be close enough for Eddie to enjoy the comfort of it but far enough away not draw suspicion. Billy had to watch his ass in case things got back home. Eddie got that and it didn’t bother him. He got plenty of time with Billy that would make everyone in this town shit themselves when they were alone. He didn’t need Neil Hargrove to know his son loved riding Eddie’s cock to be a smug bastard about it.
Billy pulled out Holy Diver, laying on top and Eddie reached over to stroke it, face stretching out in a huge grin.
“Hello gorgeous.”
“Gonna leave me for em?” Billy leaned his hip up against the table.
“Maybe. They play better than you.”
“Yeah, well when I can actually afford a drum set I’ll be able to practice for real. Then I’ll be good and you’ll be single.”
“Nah you wouldn’t leave my ass for anything. You love me.”
He was certain of that but he could admit his mood right now, though getting better, was still leaving him with niggling doubts about everything. When Billy said it it was a statement, when Eddie said it felt like a question.
Billy’s face softened and he smiled that dangerously slow smile of his. “Yeah I do. Guess I’ll just have to put up with your bullshit then. If you can put up with me learning the drums.”
“I will love every second of you learning the drums and then we’ll blow this shithole together and get our own band together. Put out our own album with even sicker art than this.” he tapped the vinyl.
Billy grinned. “Now that’s what I like to hear.”