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It's What Time Of The Month?

Summary:

Solomon decides to try out an experimental potion, designed to relieve period symptoms in MC.

There's no way this can end badly, right.

Right?

Notes:

Inspired by a twitter prompt from the lovely @Amber13214865

Thank you for the idea! I really hope you enjoy this!

Work Text:

Diavolo had constantly stressed that the most important part about ensuring the student exchange was successful was making sure the non-magical human student was safe, well and above all happy in the Devildom. So when the student started behaving strangely in the first month everyone was concerned.

MC had been crotchety and short-tempered with everyone. Even when she wasn't grumping you could tell she was annoyed by the way she bit her lip and tried hard to stay quiet. 

And she'd eaten all the chocolate in the pantry. 

And she'd stolen Belphie's hot water bottle and was refusing to return it. 

She looked a little haggard and definitely hadn't slept well.

Thankfully the strange behaviour had all stopped before it became too concerning. MC had even given back the hot water bottle and refilled the chocolate stash in the pantry.  To everyone's delight MC had returned to her normal sunshine happy self. 

At least until next month.

When it happened again the demons were definitely concerned. Barbatos had worked hard to put together a book he'd titled "Owner's Manual: A Guide To The Proper Care And Maintenance Of Your Human". It was a fairly comprehensive outline to appropriate welfare and care of humans but obviously there must have been some things that had been missed. For instance, nowhere in the guide mentioned that once a month your human might steal all the blankets in the House, build a nest on the sofa in front of the television and barely move for three days while occasionally groaning slightly. 

Solomon was called in to advise. Despite being immortal the sorcerer was still technically human. Certainly he'd been raised as one and had spent a couple of thousand years living amongst them. Surely he'd be able to help.

After hearing the brothers out, Solomon had simply smiled and said, "It's called a period."

"What's that?"

"Menstruation," Solomon continued and then, in the face of their collection of blank looks, he added, "It's a thing to do with breeding for humans."

The faces of the demons were all a study in various shades of fearful horror.

"Breeding?" asked Levi, suddenly very nervous and pale. "You don't mean we have to-"

"NOPE, no way," yelped Mammon, thoroughly flustered, "with a human? With MY human? You ain't doin' that."

"Perhaps you should take the responsibility for it Mammon, since she's your human," grinned Asmo teasingly.

Mammon froze in fright before Lucifer stepped in. "Stop teasing him Asmo. Obviously breeding itself isn't necessary. If it were Barbatos would have covered that in his guidebook. There's an extensive chapter on appropriate behaviour in sexual relations and I KNOW by the poor state of that part of the book that you've all read that section several times. One of you has even drawn pictures on most of the pages." 

As his brothers shuffled their feet, looking a little sheepish under his stern gaze, Lucifer turned to the sorcerer and asked, "Please explain it properly Solomon. We want to help MC."

"As I understand it," said Solomon, trying not to grin, "Some of the humans who have women's bodies experience a period as part of that body preparing for the possibility of breeding. You understand of course that this is not something I've experienced myself."

There was a chorus of interested agreement and nods all round.

"Apparently there are a range of symptoms that may be experienced and on average it'll last around 4 to 8 days. MC is an adult woman so it's obviously something she is familiar with and quite able to manage for herself."

"But that can't be right," complained Beel. "It makes her feel cross and unhappy. She shouldn't have to get used to feeling like that just because of her body."

Belphie nodded firmly. "She only stole my hot water bottle because she was in pain. I don't think that's fair on her at all."

Satan stopped writing for a moment. He'd been taking notes for an addendum to Barbatos' guidebook. "Wait, it's happened twice since MC has been here. How frequently can we expect this to happen to her, Solomon?"

"Once a month I believe is the usual rate," replied Solomon.

They were all silent for a moment. Shocked at the thought that this was something their poor MC had to go through once a month.

"Can't something be done? Something to help them through it?"

"Well," started Solomon cautiously, "I have got an experimental idea for a potion."

At Lucifer's insistence, Solomon spent some time explaining everything and discussing it all with MC. There was to be no magical experimentation on the human without proper informed consent. 

Lucifer's insistence on ensuring MC was properly informed didn't seem to matter quite as much to MC. Solomon had barely managed to utter the words "I might have something that could help with period symptoms" before MC was determined to take whatever he gave her just in case it worked. 

"It is experimental," he warned her.

"How experimental? asked MC, the flask of potion just inches from her lips.

"There won't be any side effects, but I can't guarantee it will actually work either. Best case scenario, you'll bleed but there'll be no pain, no discomfort, no mood swings, no symptoms at all. Worst case scenario, absolutely nothing different happens."

"That's fine. Believe me, anything is worth a try," said MC who eagerly gulped down the potion. 

She peered at the now empty flask suspiciously. "This tastes really good. Are you sure you made this yourself?"

****

In the next month, things went extremely well for the whole household. Later MC reflected that perhaps that should have been a warning sign for the trouble to come.

Simeon and Solomon were sharing tea in the sitting room of Purgatory Hall when the door was suddenly thrown open.

"SOLOMON!! I need help! What on earth did you do to them all?"

MC was in the doorway, shopping bag over her arm, anxiously wringing her hands. Simeon took her hands in his, rubbing soothingly as he guided her to the sofa. "Sit down, sit down. What happened?"

Placing the shopping bag at her feet, MC blinked and shook her head, gazing helplessly between Simeon and Solomon. "I'm not sure I understand any of it," she said, "It's all so strange."

"It all started this morning with Satan. He and I were on the breakfast roster. First he was cross with me because it was one minute past the hour when I got to the kitchen and he said I was late. Then he started to cry when he accidentally burnt some toast and I had to make him a cup of tea to help him settle. Then Asmo refused to come to breakfast, saying he had suddenly broken out in pimples and wasn't coming out of his room till they were gone." MC took a deep breath. "It gets worse."

"Go on," said Solomon, his expression masked, his face revealing nothing.

"Levi is furiously angry and trying to pick fights with everyone he sees because Lucifer has holed up in his study with all the chocolate in the House and won't come out. Mammon has taken over the entire sofa in the Common Room and is hogging the remote to himself and keeps asking people to make him tea every time they go past. Levi threw a vase at him earlier. And Beel has stolen Belphie's hot water bottle because I lent him my new one and he ate it!"

Solomon was biting his lip, fighting not to laugh. Simeon however had to ask, "What about Belphie then? is he alright?"

"Belphie's the weirdest of them all! He's just fine he says, so fine in fact that he's wearing tight white trousers and rollerskating everywhere! He spent this morning doing gymnastics and when I left the House to come here he was insisting on riding a bicycle to the docks so he can go sailing."

This was too much. Solomon's laughter rang out as clear as a bell, Simeon was chuckling, even as he drank his tea. It was enough to see MC, her lips twitching as she realised the ridiculous nature of the whole situation, giggling along with them.

"It was your period potion, wasn't it?" she confirmed with the sorcerer. "It's worked too well."

Solomon, his grin still wide, nodded. "I suspect as much."

MC sighed. "It's a shame really, I mean, I feel fantastic but it's not fair on them is it?"

Consolingly, Simeon patted her hands. "You know they will do anything to help you. There's no reason not to share your burden with the people who love you while Solomon refines his potion."

"I'll dilute it a little and we'll try again next month," agreed Solomon. "Would you like to stay here today?"

MC smiled, grateful for the support. "I think I'll head back. They need someone who understands what's going on." She held up the shopping bag in her hands. "After all, I only came out because Lucifer ran out of chocolate."