Work Text:
Toya loved his partner, he thought. Though, whenever he was around him, his heart didn’t race, he didn’t get nervous, none of the physical descriptions he’d ever heard really applied.
Yet, despite that, he liked their relationship. He liked the way that Akito looked at him, sang with him, spent time with him, and just generally was there for him. Whenever they kissed or did anything romantic, Toya was happy, even though he didn’t seem to feel the same things that his partner did.
Akito knew this. He’d told him about this, multiple times, how even though he didn’t feel the same sensations as Akito did, he still wanted to be his partner. Somehow, Akito had understood his longing to be close to him, despite their differences.
Toya loved his partner, he loved how they understood each other, how Akito would always remember what bothered him and help him avoid it. They both had worries about whether they were they were good enough to be in the group, to pursue Rad Weekend, and they’d both remind each other of how valuable they were, how other’s opinions didn’t really matter anyway. They’d always have each other, and that was all that really mattered, at least when it came to singing.
And yet, sometimes, Toya would sit in bed and wonder if that was good enough. If he was good enough, not just to be Akito’s singing partner, but to be his partner. Maybe Akito actually hated how Toya didn’t feel the same feelings as him, even though they were together. Maybe one day, in the near future even, he’d snap and want nothing to do with him anymore. Even worse, he might not speak up about it, just suffer silently as the partner he loved wholeheartedly didn’t love him back.
He worried that Akito didn’t quite understand that he did, in fact, love him. It might not be in the same way, his brain might not have the same reactions, but he still loved him, in his own way.
Every once in a while, when they were alone together, he’d tell him about these thoughts. It was scary, even though he’d done that many times already. He had to, though, their relationship was built around being honest with each other, and those thoughts were really bothering him, even though Akito constantly reassured him that it was okay, that the love Toya did have for him was enough.
He didn’t think that those doubts would leave him soon, if ever. Toya thought that he might never love Akito back in the same way, but.
Toya loved his partner, in his own way.