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“You and I / are like grief and the mountain. / We will not meet / in this world. / But sometimes / will you send across the stars / a sign?”
— Anna Akhmatova
“I kiss you—across hundreds of separating years.”
— Marina Tsvetaeva
The sky is clear on the morning that Alyce leaves; there are no swirling gray clouds, no flashes of green lightning, no echoes of thunder. It's the clearest Aurora has seen the sky in a century, though that seems like a strange way to measure it, Aurora was asleep for most of those years. Even sleeping seems too kind of a way to put it, her time a blur between a dream and a nightmare, neither with any sign of ending. Closed off from the world around her, Aurora could only witness everything through a fragmented gaze.
But Aurora is awake now, and Alyce really is leaving. Her dragon form is impossible to miss in broad daylight, though Aurora suspects she'd be able to spot her through any storm. Radiant and monstrous, Alyce's dragon form suits her, perhaps now more than ever, since Alyce has embraced her Shifter side. The sight of her great wings leaves Aurora to feel thrilled and uneasy all at once. There is power there, real power, power that now belongs to Alyce and Alyce all alone. That power was always within her, Aurora has to remind herself. Aurora just wishes Alyce had known it sooner, may Mortania be eternally damned.
Next to Alyce flies Callow, who appears to be a mere speck in the distance, but Aurora knows better. The kestrel would never let Alyce go anywhere without her. Chaos is there, too, sure to keep Alyce in good company.
Of that, Aurora finds herself a little jealous.
Alyce looks towards Aurora's direction, and Aurora raises her hand slowly, wondering if Alyce can see it from this far away, if she can even see her. Aurora holds her breath, and she can feel it: the tense air between them, even at this range. Like lightning about to strike, both purple and green. Alyce's dragon eyes meet hers, suspending Aurora in time, as if she's been cast under another spell. But Alyce doesn't fly towards her, doesn't give any other physical indication that she's seen her, and bolts away, far from Briar, with Callow and Chaos at her side.
Aurora bristles.
A proper farewell might not have boded well for either of them. As strong as Aurora's love for Alyce is, there is still anger, a wound, festered so deep that love might not be enough to reach it. That coiled anger might have seeped out had Alyce approached her, and for that, Aurora is grateful Alyce left without saying goodbye.
Yet, there's a small part of Aurora who worries that if given the chance, she might have asked Alyce to stay. Maybe they could figure things out as they work to rebuild. It would never again be the Briar Aurora grew up in, nor the Dark Court that Alyce had molded, but something new. If their love was powerful enough to overcome multiple curses, wouldn't it be powerful enough to save what they once had? Aurora isn't sure. True love doesn't sound so pretty after everything has been set ablaze. Aurora wasn't there when ash rained from the skies, but she still saw the terrible aftermath. True love can't take back a century of slumber, can't resurrect the dead.
Alyce is out of sight now. Aurora lets her hand fall, stunned at how fast Alyce disappeared beyond the horizon.
Aurora turns away, facing Briar's castle, golden and broken at the same time. Deep down, she knows she wouldn't have had the right to ask Alyce to linger in Briar for a moment longer. Not when Alyce has always wanted to leave the land, to see the rest of the world, and never had the chance to, outside of the war.
Not when an equal part of Aurora is relieved that Alyce has left.
Aurora loves Alyce, or at least, part of Aurora will always love Alyce, past and present. But it's hard to look at Alyce and not think about everything she's done. Aside from Alyce, everyone she’s ever loved is dead. Defeating the Fae King isn’t enough to change that, and neither is making Briar a true land of refuge.
So Alyce has left.
It matters not.
Aurora wipes at her eye—a single tear—and doesn't allow herself to shed any more. She may no longer be a princess, no longer a queen, but she’s never needed a crown to be independent, to do what's right. So she walks towards the castle without looking back.
The revels the Imps have been throwing every night since the war ended don't seem to cease, even with Alyce gone.
At sunset, now that Briar is capable of having sunsets again, the Imps seem to be beckoned by the call of nightfall to create a revel even greater than the last. Aurora is used to the Imps' magic by now, but their seemingly endless supply of energy still takes her by surprise. So Aurora hasn't attended every revel. Despite her newfound magic, her body is still recovering from a hundred years of unconsciousness, or at least, her brain is. She needs to rest more than the Imps do, especially when there are so many things to be done.
But tonight, Aurora is feeling especially lonely in her quarters, so she attends. For a little while, she tells herself.
As she enters what used to be a very formal dining room, she spots Derek, lounging back and enjoying the contents of his chalice. Aurora's slightly surprised Derek is still around, though he seems much happier now that the Imps are treating him as a hero of Briar, as opposed to their prisoner they could play dress-up with. But she’s pleased to keep his company for as long as he's willing to stay. Aurora's no longer sure if she counts as a human anymore, with Fae magic in her blood. That makes Derek the last one in all of Briar. The humans kept as servants left as soon as they could, which Aurora understands entirely.
Aurora walks towards him, sitting on the opposite side of the table, which has a large crack split down the middle that wasn't there a hundred years ago. Aurora finds it fitting. It's rare to find something in the castle that isn't broken.
“I thought you would have left for Ryna by now,” she says, in lieu of making small talk.
Derek takes a sip from his chalice, small and cautious at first. The Imps used to prank Derek with food and drink—turning his hair a different color, altering his voice to sound higher or lower depending on their mood. But Derek seems to remember that the Imps don't mess with him the same way these days, and takes a bigger gulp. “I have my reasons to stay a little longer.” His eyes are warm, his gaze hopeful as he meets Aurora's. But they're not enough to keep her captivated as she remembers eyes cool and green and beautiful.
“I still love Alyce,” she says. She wonders how things would be different if she told Derek sooner, if she told Alyce sooner. But she doesn't dwell on the matter, Alyce would have left Briar anyway, and Derek's heart probably would remain unchanged. It's no easy feat, trying not to love someone.
“I’m not saying that you don’t,” Derek clarifies, looking a little sheepish. “I would never imply otherwise. I admit that when I first caught on that Alyce was your true love it took me by surprise." Aurora's stoicism must have failed her and she must be glaring because Derek pales. "Not because she was another woman. But because she was—"
"The villain?" Aurora supplies for him.
Derek nods slowly. "She had destroyed Briar and kept its princess hostage." There's a pause as Derek reflects on that, aware of how Alyce never intended to keep Aurora trapped as a prisoner. "And she was powerful, she intimidated me."
Alyce would like to hear that, Aurora thinks, with a slight smile.
“But Alyce isn’t here,” Derek says. Derek is pointing out the obvious: he chose to stay while Alyce chose to leave. But he is also asking for the reason why.
“No,” Aurora says, deciding not to give him an explanation. “She isn’t.”
“And you have no idea when she’ll return, or even if she’ll return.”
Aurora shakes her head. “Alyce wouldn’t leave me for that long.” The words exit her mouth quickly, but she hesitates, she’s not sure. She has no idea how long Alyce intends to stay away from Briar. She didn’t even ask.
“Are you really saying there’s still not a chance for us in the meantime?” Derek asks with a grin, annoyingly undeterred.
Derek is handsome, sure, but he's taller than her and doesn’t smell like salt air or—Aurora’s heart lurches. She has never considered loving someone else, not after meeting Alyce, not after Alyce’s kiss broke her curse, not even after everything. History has shown her that true love, spell-breaking, written-in-the-stars true love doesn't always last, if it even really existed in the first place. There could be space in her heart for someone else.
Aurora isn’t blind, she saw the way Alyce wanted to burn Derek alive, because his feelings for Aurora were clear while Aurora’s were… well… Aurora wasn’t sure. She had to kiss countless boys her age and men five times older since she was a child. Some of them were truly dashing, the image of perfection, even without the power of the graces, unlike herself. But none of them ever made her heart flutter, not even for a moment.
The only person she ever wanted was Alyce. The thought of loving anyone else, well, Aurora needed more time. She couldn't let anyone else in when her own heart needed mending.
She offers Derek a rueful smile. “It would never work out between us.”
Derek concedes and offers a small smile back. “I understand.”
“Please know that I truly will be grateful to you for waking me up,” she says, even though she wishes it would have happened any other way. Who knows how much longer Alyce would have let Aurora sleep. But Aurora sees where Alyce came from. If their situation was reversed, Aurora wouldn't have wanted Alyce to be kissed against her will, either.
Derek excuses himself, leaving Aurora alone with the echoes of Imp laughter. There’s a chandelier that falls down after some very loud cheering, and Aurora can't help but laugh. It’s a miracle that thing had hung from the ceiling for as long as it had with the Imps around.
Aurora drinks and shuts her eyes as she savors the taste of wine. If Alyce were here… no, that won’t do. Alyce made her choice, and she can’t play pretend.
The next morning, she cuts her hair even shorter. Her mother never would have approved of such a look during her lifetime, but Aurora is fond of it. She thinks she'll keep it short for a few years. It's something that's for her own joy, no one else's. And she has a sneaking suspicion that Alyce would like it.
A decade passes, and Aurora attends Derek’s wedding. It’s her first visit to Ryna, and coincidentally her first time leaving Briar—ever. It wasn’t an intentional delay. She never had the opportunity to leave back in the age of princesshood and suitors and Graces. Once the Briar Court was founded officially, Aurora found herself too busy to leave. She wasn’t present when the Dark Court began, and even though technically the realm of Briar was not hers anymore, she felt obligated to help with all the new changes. She enjoyed taking charge, enjoyed the diplomatic meetings, enjoyed restructuring certain parts of the castle with her own two hands.
By now, her hair has grown back. It’s not as heavy as it was before, as without the Graces’ enchantments, it falls flat, no longer perfectly curled. But she is blonde, naturally. That was a slight surprise.
Even more shocking was the fact that she’s still… pretty in the way the Graces would find attractive. She’s not as rosy, granted, she doesn’t glow naturally and her eyelashes aren’t as thick and lush as they once were, but her eyes are still violet. People still stop to stare at her as she walks by. Maybe that's something that will never go away, but it could also be because the Imps still find delight in designing her gowns. She finds delight in it too.
The kingdom of Ryna is far more beautiful than Aurora had expected, granted, her only references were Etheria and Briar. But compared to Briar's castle, Ryna is a grand palace. Derek's ancestor described it as luxurious, but he had clearly been holding back. Aurora would likely find it to be overwhelming if she were still a princess. She's grateful she no longer is, for many reasons.
She's anxious as she wanders. Torin and Neve have already arrived, no doubt settled in their guest room by now. Aurora has wondered if the two of them plan on having a wedding ceremony one day. It's not as big of an ordeal in both of their cultures, and they've been together for half a century already, but still, Aurora has a soft spot for weddings between two people who genuinely love each other, it was a rarity to witness when she was growing up.
"Aurora!" Derek says, down a great hall that looks almost identical to the one she had just left. "You made it!"
"Of course I did," Aurora says. "It's not every day an old friend gets married."
It’s been a few years since she’s seen Derek, he used to visit Briar at least once a year but that ceased with time, especially once he met Danielle.
Derek looks a little older now, more of a man than the princeling he was when he broke her curse. Derek scans at her quizzically. "You really haven't aged a day."
"Nor do I intend to," she replies. "But please, you must tell me all about this woman who has captured your heart."
Danielle is a princess, and once Derek introduces the two of them, Aurora realizes Danielle is as much of a warrior princess Aurora had always fantasized of being. She thinks Alyce would be impressed, though Alyce would probably be relieved that Derek was marrying anyone who wasn’t Aurora. Still, as Aurora congratulates the wedded couple, she can’t help but feel bitter. Over a century ago, she would have risked everything to marry Alyce in front of the whole kingdom. Aurora was so naive, then. She knows now that it never would have worked, and even if it had, Alyce would never have been comfortable. It wouldn’t have been safe for her, for either of them. But still, Aurora would have married her true love, and she would be dead by now.
Things are better this way, Aurora knows that. Still, she wishes she had more than one night with Alyce.
*
After the ceremony, one of the most beautiful ceremonies Aurora has ever witnessed, she is introduced to a Vila named Aerwyna. She’s taller than Alyce, but still shorter than Aurora. Aerwyna stirs something in Aurora, something she hadn’t expected to feel till she had processed more things. Rebuilding Briar into something better has been too distracting, but Aurora is no longer in Briar, and she doesn't know when she'll have the chance to see Aerwyna next. And it's been a decade since Aurora has felt someone else's lips on hers, been over a century since she's been properly touched.
So Aurora seizes the moment. When she asks Aerwyna if she can kiss her, Aerwyna nods and kisses her promptly, gladly. Aurora takes her to bed.
Dawn breaks by the time they start to feel like getting some sleep is a good idea. Before they shut their eyes, Aurora asks her if she’d like to spend some time at the Briar Court, Aerwyna says yes.
*
The first day Aerwyna arrives at Briar, Torin pulls her aside. "Your Highness," Torin says teasingly, as Aurora is no longer royalty. "Are you aware that you have a type?"
Aurora feels her flush spread all over. She hadn’t given it too much thought that Aerwyna was a Vila, she was just excited to feel a spark of something for someone again. “Do you think that’s a bad thing?”
“Not at all. I’m just glad that after all these years, someone has caught your eye.” Torin seems genuine, but there’s something still troubling her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing to concern yourself with.”
Neve has gone directly from Ryna to her next mission. When Neve isn't in Briar, she travels all over, searching for more Shifters in danger to bring safely to Briar. “I’m sure Neve will be back before you know it.”
Torin offers her a small smile. “Neve isn’t the one I’m worried about.”
Most people know better than to mention Alyce to Aurora, even if they don't know the specifics. Gone for ten years, Alyce would be considered a legend if most occupying Briar hadn't gotten to know her beforehand. The Imps occasionally sing songs of her victories, but they quickly sing something else if they realize Aurora is around.
"Have you heard from her lately?" Aurora asks, fearing her voice would crack if she said Alyce's name out loud.
Torin shakes her head. "Not since she wrote me her latest report."
There's a beat of silence. Torin is hoping Aurora will say something more, that much is obvious. But Aurora can't, she isn't ready yet. Not when it would mean something more. "Well, be sure to give her my regards, next time you hear from her."
Torin swallows back her disappointment, for which Aurora is grateful. "Of course."
For nearly a century, Aurora waits. It's not a conscious decision to wait, sometimes Aurora forgets who she is waiting for. Aurora is occasionally reminded, the lover in her bed isn't Alyce, the lover she dances with at revels isn't Alyce, the lover making her laugh is never Alyce.
Eventually, Aurora loses track of time, which is strange. As a mortal, time meant everything—she always knew how far away her twenty-first birthday was, down to the year, month, day, hours, and even minutes, once the countdown grew closer. She never once lost track, she couldn't afford to forget how limited her time was if she didn't find her true love or figure out a way to break the curse first.
But when Derek passes away—after a long life, a good life—Aurora does the math, and it's jolting. Still, there is no sign that Alyce will return, so Aurora doesn't hold her breath.
A decade later, Aurora lounges about one morning with Neve and Torin; Neve sits up, while Torin lies down, her head in Neve's lap. The two of them have been a couple for over a century now and of that, Aurora is jealous. Had Alyce not left, had Alyce returned to Briar sooner, or even just visited Briar once, this could have been the two of them: spending a nice morning in each other's company with their closest friends.
"Do you think Alyce will ever come back to Briar?" Aurora asks.
The air grows tense, and Torin sits up. Aurora feels bad, she didn't mean to disturb her. Neve and Torin meet each other's eyes, the two of them are probably more familiar with Alyce's plans than Aurora has any idea about.
It's Neve who speaks first, careful and slow and soft. "Have you ever thought that Alyce might want permission?” She's not trying to accuse Aurora, that much is obvious, but the question still makes her uneasy.
“Why would I think that? I didn’t ask Alyce to leave, she came to that decision on her own.” Aurora considers the truth of that that, for a moment. Did Alyce feel like she had no choice but to leave, did Aurora make her feel as though she couldn't stand to see her? “Has she written to you saying otherwise?"
“She hasn’t,” Torin assures her. “But I know Alyce, she waited a hundred years for you to wake up. She’d wait a hundred years more to come back if she thought that was what you wanted.”
“I don’t want to go another century without seeing her,” Aurora says. “I can’t wait that long.” It’s unfathomable. Aurora doesn’t even know how she’s waited for as long as she has. Sure, she’s been busy. Briar is recognized all over the world as a home for anyone the rest of the world might consider monstrous, and Alyce is out there guiding anyone who needs help this way.
“So don’t wait,” Torin says.
"Don't wait," Neve repeats.
That night, Aurora’s room is lit by candlelight. There are many words Aurora wants to write to Alyce, but they’re frozen in her heart. Nothing she could write would do her feelings justice, nothing that could compare to speaking to Alyce in person.
Aurora shuts her eyes. If she concentrates hard enough, she can almost pretend Alyce is next to her, the scent of her skin, like the sea, lingering in the air.
Nothing will do, the blank page is too daunting. So Aurora grabs one of Briar's formal invitations for their upcoming celebration. She flips the paper over. Come home, Aurora writes. She sends it before she can change her mind. She hopes it’s enough.
Alyce arrives one night not long after her invitation was sent. She didn't write back, but Aurora had hoped she would come, that after all these years had passed, they were both ready for another chance.
Aurora finds her in the gardens, she’s tended to them since Alyce has been away. They’re different from when Alyce had left, but still beautiful. Aurora hopes Alyce still finds them beautiful. And secretly, she hopes Alyce still finds her beautiful. She was never a vain creature, but she is different now, and Alyce hasn't seen her Grace-less appearance yet.
Under the moonlight, Alyce's glossy black hair almost shines velvet, nearly matching Aurora's gown. She had this one made especially for when she next saw Alyce, back when she didn't know how long that would be.
Alyce hasn't aged a day, it was to be expected, but it's still surprising, considering Aurora's own appearance has changed. But staring at Alyce, Aurora can almost pretend the past two centuries haven’t happened. Maybe today could still be her twentieth birthday, and this is the first time they ever speak. The two of them could sneak about in the shadows, each prepared to start something secret, something new. But the time has passed, and there's no going back.
“You came,” Aurora says, almost breathless.
A beat passes. I nearly didn't, Aurora can imagine Alyce saying, and as soon as Alyce parts her lips open, Aurora braces herself for the worst.
“You wanted me to,” Alyce replies neutrally. Her green eyes remain calm.
"I—" Aurora begins, pained. "Briar will always be open to you, I hope you know that." She speaks with false authority, Briar is not hers the same way it's not Alyce's, but she hopes Alyce understands her.
"I do. That's not why I stayed away."
Alyce keeps her distance, and Aurora understands why, but she wishes she would step closer. But she doesn't, so Aurora takes the first step. Alyce doesn't flinch away. Aurora counts that as a win, exhaling in relief. "Did you think I didn't want you to return?"
"I didn't know what to think, not that I blame you. I never could." Alyce's eyes soften now. "I needed time away from Briar."
“Do you still?” Aurora moves a step closer. With any lover she's had over the century, there was never the same thrum that Aurora feels as she’s looking at Alyce right now, the way Alyce is looking back at her.
“You look different,” Alyce says. She smiles, and it pulls at Aurora's heart. It's been a long time since she's seen Alyce, former Mistress of the Dark Court, smile so shyly, as if she's attending her first ball. As if she doesn't know what Aurora looks like without her clothes. “I like it.” Alyce takes a step closer, still smelling of the sea. "Can I kiss you?"
It was Aurora herself who asked that same question, all those years ago.
“Please,” Aurora says. She’s lived through curses her entire life, but she thinks Alyce staying away from Briar is the worst one she’s been through. They broke other curses together, surely they can break this one too.
Aurora's hands tangle in Alyce's hair as she presses her lips against hers, tender and raw. The two of them, it seems, are equally impatient. Alyce's quarters have remained intact all this time, but Aurora hopes she'll join her in hers. There's so many things they need to talk about, but time is no longer a threat to them, no longer something separating their bodies.
They part, but only briefly. "I've missed you," Alyce says. Aurora responds by kissing her deeply, almost dreamlike. But this is better than any dream. Maybe true love doesn't work out in the end for everyone, but it will work out for them. Aurora will make certain of it.
And Alyce tastes like home.