Archive of Our Own

She might be out of there now, but the memories from the past week keep haunting Ahsoka. Memories of running from the Trandoshans, of watching Kalifa die next to her while she could do nothing, of watching them shoot down the other prisoners while all she could do was run for her life.

She throws a sideways glance at Anakin, to convince assure herself that he's really here. She didn't know how she would ever get out of there, and even if she refused to show her doubt and fear to the other padawans, that didn't mean she wasn't afraid. It wasn't like war. She might be hunted by droids all the time in war, watching as the clones die all around her when there's nothing she can do to stop it, but this was completely different. Violence is expected out there. The Trandoshans were hunting them for sport, for their own twisted sense of pleasure. And she didn't have a weapon or anything to fight back with. It worked out in the end, but it might not have.

She never realized until that moment how much Anakin's been shielding her from the worst of the brutality out there. Or how well his training has prepared her to handle a situation like that on her own. She never showed him the kind of gratitude she should have.

"They've been waiting to see you," Anakin comments, "I told them as soon as you came back."

"I can't wait to see them either," she replies readily, staring out the window of the shuttle at the receding view of Coruscant below them. They're almost to the main Cruiser of the 501st. It's beyond relieving to be back here, in familiar territory, where she knows Anakin and the boys will always be there to back her up, if they're able to.

The shuttle lands in the main hanger, and she goes in search of Rex, leaving Anakin to talk to some of the other clones who stopped to greet them on the way.

"Commander," Rex greets, relief obvious in his voice, "It's good to see you back."

"It's good to be back," Ahsoka replies, stopping in front of her friend. She doesn't think she's been this relieved to see him in her entire life. Before she can fully think the decision through, she steps forwards, wrapping her arms around the captain. She missed him so much, only because she never knew when she'd see Anakin or him or anyoneagain. Or anything beyond the endless trees of that jungle.

He freezes in obvious surprise for a moment – this is the first time she's ever hugged him, after all – before he slowly wraps an arm around her in return.

After several moments she pulls away, looking up at him. "I missed you," she admits. "I didn't know when I would ever get back."

"What happened?" Rex wonders, "The General briefly mentioned that you were kidnapped by Trandoshans."

"One of them came out of the trees and shot me, right before I could climb the wall," she responds, "They capture people and hunt them down for sport. When I woke up, I was locked up with a number of other people." In a cage. She's never been captured by anyone before, except briefly by Cad Bane and the Son, and she can't forget the sickening feeling of helplessness that clawed at her as she had realized she couldn't break out. "They dropped all of us off on an island on their planet and started shooting at us. I... ran into the trees before they could catch me."

"They were hunting you?" he demands, an obvious note of anger slipping into his voice.

Ahsoka nods. "There were a number of other young padawans there too. They seem to consider Jedi the greatest... score." She shudders at the words, the memories. She doesn't understand how people could do that, for literally nothing but fun. She might enjoy herself a lot on the battlefield sometimes, but that's different. They're fighting for a reason, and she's only destroying droids. It's different than kidnapping people and hunting them down for no reason other than their own twisted pleasure.

"General Skywalker had us search the area for you at least a dozen times before we left," Rex tells her, "I'm sorry we weren't able to get to you in time." Anakin had apologized for it too, as though it was somehow hisfault it happened.

"It's not your fault, Rex," she assures, "You had a battle to fight, and they're obviously good at hiding. Felucia is so easy to hide on." That's why it's next to impossible to get the Separatists off the planet, no matter how hard they fight there.

"If we had known where you were, we would have sent in all the boys to come and get you out," Rex promises, and she can't help but smile at the words, "Are there any of these Trandoshans left?"

"No, I got help from the Wookies," she replies, "All of them were killed, unless there's more on other islands."

"How did you get help from the Wookies?"

"They dropped one off, and we rescued him," she explains, "We were able to fix a transmitter to send a signal out to their planet. It was the closest one nearby."

"I wish we were close enough to get the signal, but glad it's good to see you're... alright," Rex says.

She nods. "I didn't know when I would get out of there. I... was afraid it wouldn't happen." Despite her façade to the other padawans, she was scared, even if she used to it fuel her determination. She's never been forced to handle a situation like that completely alone.

"They couldn't stop you any more than the clankers do."

She wishes she could fully agree. "They were more of a challenge," she admits, "They have intelligence, and I didn't have anything but the Force." And everything Anakin taught her. She's afraid it will happen again, and maybe this time, she won't be able to get out on time. Or she'll get many others killed in the process.

"We wouldn't have stopped looking for you," he promises, "No matter where we had to look."

"I know," she says, giving him a small smile. In some ways, what had scared her the most was knowing that there was no way Anakin or the boys would be able to find her, no matter how much they looked. They naturally assumed she was captured by the Separatists and would never have dreamed of what really happened to her.

Still, the reassurance is comforting, and she leaves it that, moving on to talk to the rest of the boys.

***

Most everyone pauses as she walks by in the hallway, stopping to greet her and occasionally express their relief that she's back. It's touching, she has to admit, to know how much they were worried about it.

"I knew you were going to find your way back, Commander," Fives calls, approaching her. He's one of the ones she knows a little better. He's close with Anakin, which tends to mean that he spends more time around her as well.

"You know I'd never leave the 501st to fight without me." She doesn't fully feel the grin she gives him, but with how everyone is acting about her being back, it's helped a lot.

"Of course not," he agrees, cheerfully.

"Like I couldn't on Lola Sayu." The words come out before she even thinks them through, and she winces as Fives' expression falters.

Echo died there. She didn't know him that well, but she still remembers him.

"Yes," Fives agrees, a little more solemnly. "We were worried you wouldn't come back." Like Echo. She's certain that's what he's thinking now, too.

She gives him a small smile. "I almost didn't. But I wouldn't have stopped trying, for as long as I could."

"If you want us to deal with the rest of those Trandoshans, we'd be more than happy to," he tells her resolutely.

She grins, in spite of everything. "I'm sure you would, though all the ones on the island were killed. But I suppose there might be some others out there..." She trails off, a pang of fear running through her. Realistically, they'd never get to her again. It was pure chance that they did to begin with but seeing that kind of brutality was not something she can easily shake off.

"They won't come anywhere near you again," Fives promises, "Not if there's anything we can do to stop them."

"Thanks," she murmurs. "How did the rest of the battle go, after I was gone?"

"We won that sector, and from what I heard, the General Plo is holding his position for now. We shouldn't be back near Felucia any time soon."

A sigh of relief escapes her. This soon, she doesn't think she'd even be able to focus properly on any battle there.

***

They aren't on leave right now, so they're shipped back out to the fronts almost immediately. It's only a day later, and she's back to fighting off droids again. It's relieving, honestly, to be here fighting alongside Anakin, instead of relying entirely on herself as she fought to survive in that jungle.

There's rarely been a time that she had to deal with a situation that extreme all alone, and she can't help but wonder how Anakin is always able to do it. She never appreciated it much when she was younger. She was always certain she could handle anything, even if it was difficult. But this... showed her otherwise. She only survived because of his training, and so many things could easily have gone wrong.

Ahsoka would appreciate this a little more, though, if they weren't back to fighting in the middle of a forest. It doesn't look anything like Felucia, but it's still keeping her on edge.

Blaster shots ring out all around her, as she throws her entire focus in fighting off the droids – for the most part. Something darts past very quickly behind her, and she looks sharply over her shoulder into the dark trees.

She doesn't see anything, but... something is close. It's probably just an animal, but she thought the same thing last time,too. Still, the clones are with her now, and they won't be going anywhere. She can't help but wish she was fighting near Anakin, but that's childish and not something they have the time or resources to indulge in. If they're going to win this battle, they'll have to spread out the Jedi they have, to protect the clones on multiple fronts.

Ahsoka continues to press on through the forest, though she can't help but continue to throw an occasional glance over her shoulder, just in case. A blaster shot flies a little too close, and she dodges barely in time, hastily bringing up her lightsaber to block the next few blasts, then running forwards, cutting through the closest droids.

There's nothing out there, and she needs to focus on the battle if they're going to win it.

It's not until late that night that they reach a temporary pause in the fighting. The past nearly sixteen hours of constant fighting are catching up to her, and she curls up on the ground next to Anakin – finally feeling safe again now that he's with her – and is asleep almost instantly.

***

The far too familiar sound of the Trandoshans chanting fills the air, and Ahsoka crouches back against the wall, heart pounding wildly. How did she get here?! How can she be back here again?!

A fire lights the otherwise dark room, the glow flickering off the wall almost menacingly. The Trandoshans are all gathered in the center of the room, as they chant... something.

She scoots along the darkness, crouching half-concealed behind the wall. How did she get in here?! She thought she was out of here or was that just a dream?! But why is she here?

Very cautiously, she tries to peak out again, her eyes instantly landing on the bodies, heads, and skins – trophies from the hunt – that are hung up on the wall.

And then she moves a moment to slow, her eyes locking with one of the Trandoshans.

She inhales sharply dropping back down to the floor, but he's on his feet in a flash, letting out one of their loud hunting cries and moments later everyone in the room is swarming right towards her hiding spot.

Ahsoka jolts awake with a start, lashing out instinctively at whatever it is that's touching her arm. "Ahsoka!" Anakin calls.

"... Master?" She can make him out through the darkness, hovering next to her.

"I'm here," he promises.

She slowly pushes herself into a sitting position, staring into the darkness surrounding them on all sides. Rex is sitting up too now, from on Anakin's other side, a distinctly worried look in his eyes.

She can hear the sounds of the forest around her, and she can't help but feel if she lets down her guard for even a moment, she'll find herself back with the Trandoshans.

"Are you alright?" her master asks, blue eyes full of concern.

"Yeah, I just..." She scoots a little closer, leaning against him, letting his presence ground her. He won't push her to talk about it if she doesn't want to, but she knows he's more than willing to listen if she will. He always encourages her to talk about whatever's bothering her. "It wasn't like war. I know there's going to be fighting here, and I did there too, but it was different. I know we're hunted by droids here all the time, but – I don't see how people can be like that. They aren't even doing it for food; it's just because they want to." And that's what she'll never understand, most of all. She knows there's many horrible people out there, but this is something else entirely.

"The galaxy is a much worse place than you've seen, Snips," he replies, "You were raised shielded from much of it at the Temple, but actions like this are not unheard of."

A shiver runs down her spine and she scoots a little closer to him. He is right, she knows. There is a lot she'd never seen growing up at the Temple, something she never realized until she found herself out on the battle field.

Anakin understands things like this a lot better, probably because of the environment he grew up in. He came to the Temple later, and although she doesn't know a whole lot about Tatooine, she knows the place is full of gangsters. So yes, she knows he's seen far more than she ever has – hopefully ever will. "Don't tell me you saw things like this on Tatooine."

She isn't quite expecting it when he suddenly wraps an arm around her, pulling her closer. "Not this," he answers, after a moment, but she gets the feeling there's an unspoken 'no, but he's seen things just as bad or worse'.

They sit in silence for a little while, and with both Anakin and Rex here makes it easier for her to calm down, shaking the images of her nightmare from mind.

"You should rest, if you can," Anakin speaks up.

She makes a noise of agreement, pulling away and stretching out on the leaves, closing her eyes. They probably won't have much longer to rest, so she better sleep while she can.

***

Rex watches silently as Ahsoka settles back onto the leaf covered ground, soon drifting off to sleep. After a moment, he lays down himself. They'll have a lot of fighting tomorrow, so they had best get some rest while they can.

General Skywalker doesn't seem inclined to move though, silently watching Ahsoka's still form as her breathing slowly evens out, indicating that she's fallen back asleep.

"What is it, sir?" Rex queries, pushing himself back into a sitting position.

Anakin glances over at him, and even through the darkness, the worry in his eyes is still clear.

"I am... concerned about her," he admits.

Oh. Of course, he is. "She is not taking this well," Rex agrees, looking down at her again. She's his... vod'ika, and he won't deny how scared he was when he heard that she disappeared. He had looked over that place over and over again in the hope they'd be able to find her, but they didn't come up with anything, and he'd been so afraid that the Separatists had gotten her. That they would never see her again, just like so many of his brothers. (Like Echo.)

Except... it's different for both General Skywalker and the Commander, because they're always there, even while his brothers fall all around him.

"No, she is not," Anakin agrees. He's quiet for a few more long moments, looking troubled. "I don't know how to help her with it," he admits, "Like she said, what happened was very different than in war."

Yes, because these Trandoshans were hunting her, like she was animal. It fills him with anger and disgust, that they would do this to anyone, let alone Ahsoka.

"I tried to protect her from situations like that," he continues.

"You did what you could, General," Rex replies, "But I'll have all the boys keeping an eye out to make sure something like this never happens again."

"Yes, I know they will, even without an order," he says, smiling faintly.

Rex can only hope that will be enough.

***

Maybe it's just that the jump was a little miscalculated, because Ahsoka didn't realize the ground sloped down quite so steeply in front of them when she'd jumped. Blaster shots explode through the trees at the same moment, and she frantically tries to deflect the shots away, narrowly missing getting hit as she tries to catch herself on the ground. The howl of an animal reverberates through the forest, the sound so much like the trademark hunting cries of the Trandoshans.

It distracts her for a second – a second too long. She doesn't catch herself quite right, and rolls across the ground, pain suddenly exploding through her leg, all of her nerves screaming in protest. She gasps sharply as she slams to a stop against a tree stump, breathing hard, clenching her teeth against the pain stabbing through her leg.

Force, it hurts. She's felt pain like before, of course, but that doesn't mean it isn't bad. Ahsoka shifts her position a little, moving to look down at her leg. She'd heard the distinct cracking sound when she'd hit it wrong and that didn't sound good. Yes, it's obviously broken, especially with how quickly the swelling is spreading.

She really needs to stop getting distracted by things that remind of what happened. The battle is still raging all around, and she scoots into a sitting position, moving to position herself behind a tree where she won't be seen, to wait out the rest of the battle. And she can only hope the droids won't overrun her position, because she won't be going very far like this.

Precisely what she needed right now. To be left mostly defenseless in a forest. At least she's still conscious and can use the Force or her lightsabers, even if she can't run.

The clones keep moving through the trees around her, shooting at the advancing droids. They're pressing forwards, at least, which means they must be pushing the droids back.

The battle rages on for a while longer before it starts to die down. Now that the fighting is slowing down, one of the clones hurries over to her. "Commander?"

She glances down at his number, but it isn't familiar. "I'll be fine here, trooper."

"I can take you somewhere safer," he offers, "Can you walk?"

If only. She grimaces. "No."

He reaches down, carefully picking her up, careful not to jostle her leg as he moves back through the trees, to where the other injured clones from the battle have been moved to rest for now, until they can get proper medical treatment.

"What's your name?" she queries as he approaches the group, setting her down.

"Appo."

"Good luck, Appo," she calls after him as he heads away.

Ahsoka shifts to lean against a tree, looking over the injured clones who are gathered here. Kix is treating some of the more seriously injured ones, so it's going to be a while before he gets to her.

Fine. Then she'll have to content herself with waiting.

The pain is making it hard to focus on much of anything, but the clone next to her catches her attention as he swats away a giant beetle trying to crawl into his ear.

Seriously.

Ears must be such an inconvenience.

She does recognize him. "Tup?"

"Yes ma'am?" he asks.

"How are you feeling?" she queries. They don't have a whole lot to talk about, and she isn't sure how seriously he's injured.

"I'll be back on my feet in no time," he insists.

"That's good to hear."

"It's good to have you back with us, Commander," Tup tells her.

"It's good being back," she reiterates. Although she wishes she could be doing something a little more useful than sitting here with a broken leg.

The distant sound of blaster shots starts to die down, before the forest goes almost entirely quiet, except for the occasional sound of animal, and the wind rustling the trees.

"Looks like we won this one, sir," Tup observes.

"Sounds like it," she agrees. Or at least she can hope so. The battle was... not going that well, so even if there's a temporary pause in the fighting, she doesn't know for how long. "You should get some rest, while you can."

Tup nods, closing his eyes, and she thinks he's asleep almost instantly.

She can feel people approaching, and the sound of crunching leaves grows louder, before Anakin, Fives, and a number of the other clones step into view.

"Snips?" he calls worriedly, hurrying over, kneeling next to her.

"It's not bad," she assures as he frowns down at her injury. "What's the situation?"

"We're holding ground for now, but we will not be able to get more supplies to return to the Cruiser unless Obi-Wan gets here with reinforcements," Anakin replies, settling next to her.

Fives circles around them, sitting next to Tup. They're close, she remembers.

Kix finally approaches her, kneeling to inspect the injury. "I should be able to set it," he observes, "I know it hurts, but we have limited pain medication left."

"I'll be fine without," she replies, grimacing. This is going to hurt, but they might as well get it over with and save supplies for actually critical situations, especially since they might be here indefinitely. She's used to this, even if she's far from excited about it.

Ahsoka shifts her position away from the tree, moving to lay down on Anakin's lap. It will make this a lot more comfortable, at least, even if it will change nothing. They do this all the time. She rests her head against his leg, making herself as comfortable as she can, despite the pain.

"Go ahead," she tells Kix, who nods, crouching next to her.

A sharp stab of pain radiates up her leg, and she stifles a cry, reaching up, hand wrapping tightly around Anakin's metal one. She doesn't really want to crush his human one.

He reaches up, his human hand trailing lightly across the side of her lekku, but otherwise stays silent as Kix works.

She can feel him poking at it and tightens her grip on Anakin's metal hand to keep from yelping.

"How is he?" Anakin inquires, turning to Fives.

"It's serious, but he'll make it," Fives replies, looking down at his injured brother, "We just need to stop these clankers. If only there was a way we could destroy their command ship."

"Hitting the main reactor would destroy it," Anakin replies. The talking is distracting, giving her something else to focus on. She doesn't know if it's intentional or not, but she's grateful anyway.

"... How do you know that, sir?"

"Many years ago, on Naboo, I shot the main reactor of one from the inside. It set off a chain reaction that destroyed the entire ship," he answers.

"Wait, many years ago?" Ahsoka objects, frowning up at him, "When did that happen?"

"The Trade Federation first invaded Naboo over ten years ago. I was there," Anakin explains, "They had the planet blockaded." Right. She remembers hearing a little about that, though it wasn't something of major importance to her. And wait a minute –

"Weren't you... quite young then, sir?" wonders Fives.

"Nine," he confirms.

"How did you know how to hit the main reactor when you were nine?" Ahsoka exclaims, then clenches her teeth. "Ow!" She really hopes Kix is almost done. Doing this without anesthesia is not fun.

"It was an accident," Anakin continues.

"You hit it by accident?" Fives repeats almost incredulously.

Kix pokes at her leg again, and she stifles another yelp, her hand clenching on Anakin's. He squeezes her shoulder reassuringly, and she takes a deep breath, trying to refocus on the conversation.

"The ship was on autopilot, and it took me right to the battle. I had never flown a ship before," he replies.

"I won't ask how you managed that, Skyguy," Ahsoka says dryly.

"That is impressive, sir," Fives agrees, clearly amused.

"It's done," Kix reports, finally sitting back, "How does it feel?"

"Like it... snapped," she deadpans.

"Yes, I imagine so," Kix responds, "You need to rest it until it can start to heal. I'll be able to treat it better once we return to the Cruiser, but for now, you need strict rest."

Ahsoka huffs. "Not as though I have much choice." Even if she wanted to try walking at this point, it would hurt too much. Besides, Anakin would never let her, and none of the boys would be terribly impressed either.

She can only hope that Obi-Wan will show up soon, because they need supplies and to transport some of the more seriously injured back to the Cruiser. And nor does she like being this defenseless out here in a forest.

At least Anakin and the boys are with her.

***

"Do I really have to stay here?" Ahsoka groans, falling back against the bed.

"You need to rest your leg if it's going to heal properly, Commander," Kix says, a hint of exasperation in his voice now.

"I already have been resting."

"Don't worry, Snips," Anakin assures, stepping over to the side of her bed, "It will not be much longer. You aren't missing anything right now."

"I know," she huffs, "That doesn't mean I like being stuck in bed."

"I know," he assures, "But it will not be for much longer."

"Fine," she grumbles, rolling her eyes. He's right, but that doesn't mean she has to be happy about it.

"I'll be back later, Snips," he promises, slipping out of the medbay.

She stares up at the ceiling above her, watching as Kix moves around on the far side of the room, taking care of some of the other clones.

Maybe she should try meditating for a bit, or something. Or she could work on her datapad, but...

Just then, one of the other clones who's about to leave the medbay approaches her bed. It takes her only a moment to recognize him.

"Hardcase?" Ahsoka asks, sitting up immediately, careful not to jostle her leg. It does still hurt, at least a little, even if she's doing her best to ignore it.

"Hey, Commander," he grins, "I heard you're trapped in bed?"

"Yeah, I am," she agrees, "You're lucky you're not."

"I feel you," he concurs cheerfully, "How long will you be here?"

"Until Kix decides my leg can support weight." Whenever that will be.

"I can fix that."

She raises an eyemarking. "How?"

"I can carry you," he offers with a grin.

"I –" She really wants to agree to that, but... "I don't think I should get in your way like that."

"It won't be a problem, Commander," he promises eagerly, and she gets the feeling that maybe he wants to do this for some reason.

"Okay," Ahsoka grins, "So long as it doesn't give Kix a heart attack."

A few moments later, she finds herself perched on Hardcase's shoulders, ready to leave the medbay. Kix is... outwardly not at all impressed with the idea, but she can distinctly feel him radiating amusement, and he doesn't protest when they leave.

***

Maybe, Ahsoka can't help but think, she's starting to enjoy her new perch a little bit too much. Well, she'd much prefer to be walking on her own two feet, but at least she isn't stuck in the medbay.

And the boys are unsurprisingly more than happy to take turns in carrying her around. Anakin even did for a short while himself, except then he had to go into a Council meeting, and they both agreed that it might look... odd if he came in like that.

So, he passed her off to Jesse in the meantime.

"Are you... comfortable up there, Commander?" Jesse asks uncertainly, as he makes his way through the Cruiser hall.

"Perfectly," she chirps. She hasn't felt this... light, since before everything happened with the Trandoshans in the first place.

"I believe this makes the Admiral... uncomfortable," Jesse comments.

Ahsoka snickers. She can't help it. "Oh, of course, it does. Come on, then let's go back up to the bridge."

"If that's where you want to go," he agrees, heading back down the hall.

"I do have to help. I can't just sit around," she points out.

"Of course, sir," he agrees, amusement obvious, as they step onto the bridge.

"I'm here now," she calls cheerfully.

Unsurprisingly, Yularem does look decidedly uncomfortable, but Jesse moves closer so Ahsoka can see the holomap properly and join in discussing the battle plans with Anakin and the Admiral anyway. Honestly, this is worth it in and of itself because of how awkward it makes everyone else around her feel. Except Anakin. And most of the boys.

Although, Ahsoka would like to know what Anakin seems so unusually amused about. Her as-of-yet-unasked question is answered when the doors to the bridge slide open again and Obi-Wan walks into the room.

Jesse promptly freezes, looking like he has no idea what he's supposed to do now.

"Hey, Master Obi-Wan!" Ahsoka calls cheerfully, reaching down to pat Jesse on the head. "Don't worry. You're just doing your job."

Fives and Hardcase are radiating obvious amusement, and so is Rex though he manages to keep a straight face.

"What in the blazes is going on in here?" Obi-Wan demands, crossing his arms.

"Don't worry, Master," Anakin replies cheerfully, "There's no fires in here this time."