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Andrew’s favorite bookstore, The Lost Chapter, won the title of favorite for three reasons: the exceptional selection of interesting books, the attached café with the delicious triple chocolate cake, and the generally quiet, pleasant atmosphere.
Right now, though, that beloved silence was being broken.
Loudly.
“You promised, Andrew!” Nicky said as he used every inch of his height advantage to keep Andrew a participant of the conversation. “You said, ‘if I’m still single when you get back from Germany, I’ll let you set me up on a few dates,’ and here I am, and here you are, and it’s time for you to go on some dates.”
Andrew sighed. He remembered that conversation too well. And unfortunately, a promise, even extracted at the end of a night of drinking, was a promise. He crossed his arms. “Fine. Three strikes and you’re out, though.”
“Wait, really? You agree? Whew." Nicky sagged against one of the shelves. "I thought this would be way harder! Ack! Where did the knife come from?!”
“And,” Andrew continued, putting away the knife slowly. “There’s one condition: they can meet me here.”
Nicky winced as he looked around at the shelves, unevenly stocked with all sorts of varying quality of books, but when he saw the café, he perked up. “Fine. And you promise to show up?”
Andrew sighed. “I promise.”
"And that you'll give them all a chance?"
Ugh. But, Nicky was waiting for an answer.
"Yes. I promise."
Thankfully, Nicky understood the weight of Andrew’s promises and left without much more agonizing.
Andrew immediately scanned the aisles of the store, looking for the nearest employee. He had a plan to nip this date thing in the bud. He didn’t recognize the first employee he saw, some short redhead who was climbing the shelves, literally, to put a book in its place.
"They make ladders for that," Andrew couldn't help but note.
The employee did not turn around. He didn't even acknowledge Andrew's statement. He just put the book on the shelf and then jumped off, landing with a flourish like he did this all the time.
When he noticed Andrew was still there, he asked, "Do you need something?" he asked, arms across his chest.
"Yeah, actually," Andrew started, staring down the employee. His name tag said Neil, and his gorgeous blue eyes said stay away from me, and yeah. Neil was hot. Still, Andrew bravely pressed forward. "You and probably every other person in this bookstore might have heard my cousin threatening to set me up on some dates."
"And?" Neil tapped his foot, waiting. He looked bored. Andrew fell a little more in love.
"And I'll give you fifty dollars to make sure none of the dates work out."
Neil didn't miss a beat. "Fifty dollars each, right?"
"Yeah." Andrew shrugged. "Hell, I'll throw in a tip after my cousin's given up on me."
"Sure. Deal." Neil stuck his hand out, but Andrew shook his head.
"It's a deal, but I don't do handshakes," he said.
Neil mirrored Andrew's shrug and left it at that.
"Haven't seen you around before," Andrew couldn't help but add.
"Just started last week. Hey, is anything off limits for how I chase off your dates?"
Andrew had the feeling that maybe he should have been nervous about the almost feral glint in Neil's eyes and the gremlin grin dancing on his lips. But instead, he just said, "Go wild. Impress me."
*
Nicky started Andrew off easy, with a boring suit of a date, the kind of guy who probably picked his stocks based on outdated Internet articles. He was cute, Andrew would give him that, but every time he talked, Andrew was ready to just finish his chocolate cake and leave. But he had made a promise, so he just had to trust that Neil would deliver and–
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
Both Andrew and his date turned, stunned, as Neil stormed up to the table in street clothes, his eyes full of tears. Had he used eye drops? Was he secretly an actor who could cry on demand? Either way, Andrew was thoroughly impressed by his commitment.
Oh, right. He had a part to play in this.
“What do you mean am I kidding you?” Andrew said, glancing at his date, who was already shifting nervously in his seat.
“You’re cheating on me?” Neil shrieked loud enough to make Andrew’s date cover his ears and wince. He shoved his hand, with a fucking wedding ring, in Andrew’s face. “And with a baby on the way!?”
Andrew almost spat his mouthful of cake out. He actually braced for the slap that he very much believed Neil would follow through with.
The slap never came, but it didn’t matter; Andrew’s date was already backing out of his chair, waving to Neil, going on about, “sorry, this is a huge misunderstanding! And congratulations!”
Neil narrowed his eyes, but before he could say anything else, Andrew’s date had fled.
“And that,” Neil said, his posture relaxing. He slipped the wedding ring into his pocket and held out his hand. “Will be fifty dollars.”
Andrew nodded. “Yeah. Uh. You delivered. Thanks.”
Neil looked pretty pleased. “Just wait until next time.” He smirked, and Andrew was very nearly overcome with the desire to kiss him.
Somehow, Andrew managed to put that to the side, and answer honestly: “Yeah, I’m looking forward to it.”
*
Andrew’s second date was admittedly a step up from the first. Andrew could even call him hot. His personality was blander than an unseasoned chicken breast though.
“Wow,” his date said, “So you’re really a lawyer? That’s such a stressful job, isn’t it? Don’t you have to work so many hours?”
Andrew swallowed his bite of cake, cinnamon chip this time, and shrugged. “I can make my own hours. And the pay is–”
All of the sudden, an apron thumped onto the table, barely missing Andrew’s plate.
“Andrew, for fuck’s sake,” Neil said. This time, he was in his work outfit, with his matching apron. “Your break is over, stop fucking around with the customers and get to work.”
“...get to work?” Andrew’s date tilted his head, putting two and two together–slowly, but he managed to get to four. “You don’t work as a lawyer, do you?”
Andrew did, but he wasn’t about to correct this little misunderstanding. He pushed his chair back as he stood up, grabbing the apron.
“You could have given me five more minutes,” he grumbled at Neil.
Neil leveled him with a look that could have knocked a weaker man to his ass. Andrew stood strong, but just barely. He really, really could have kissed Neil.
“Lying is super not cool,” Andrew’s date said, gathering his things and going.
Neil watched him go. He didn’t even glance back at Andrew, just held out his hand.
Fifty dollars later, (and with a strong urge to just give Neil the rest of the money in advance plus a tip), Andrew had to admit that maybe he had a problem by the name of Neil.
*
Nicky had expressed some incredulousness that Andrew hadn’t liked either of his dates, but was mollified by Andrew suggesting maybe he could set him up with someone who wasn’t just a pretty face.
“Fair, fair,” Nicky had said, laughing. “Look, I’ll admit I would have been happy for you to just take one of them home and blow off some steam. But if you want to find someone for the long term, I’m all for that!”
So now Andrew was sitting at the café, enjoying a piece of triple chocolate cake, and somewhat actively engaging in a conversation with Nicky’s third attempt. The guy had the looks and was almost entertaining, too. He didn’t have Neil’s sardonic grin, though, or Neil’s ice blue eyes, or Neil's legs.
Not that Andrew thought about Neil that often. Only hourly, really. Sometimes minute-ly. Yeah, he had a problem, but what was he going to do? It’s not like Neil had made any move on him (besides pretending to be having his baby, but Andrew was pretty sure that didn’t count).
“Yeah, I’m kind of open to new things,” date number three was saying. “I really like to–”
Andrew just didn’t care. He didn’t want to pretend to care. He just wanted a reason to leave the date and he was wondering what was taking Neil so long to show up this time.
“Hey!” Almost on cue, Neil’s voice cut through date number three’s monologue. "I got some books on the topics you asked me about."
He thumped down a pile of books. Your Pregnancy: What to Expect and Week by Week Pregnancy stared up at him along with others in the same theme.
"Oh," said his date, blinking. "Do you have a pregnant friend?"
"No," Andrew said.
"Andrew is very concerned about the health of our baby," Neil said at the same time, without a hint of hesitation.
Andrew's date looked from Neil to Andrew and back again. He frowned. "Uh. Ok so I think? There's been a misunderstanding?"
Neil nodded. "Yup. I hear that a lot these days."
"Uh. Well. Congratulations?” He stood, glancing from Neil to Andrew again. “I'm gonna just. Just go."
And then he was gone, muttering something about never trusting Nicky to set him up with a normal date.
"Buy yourself and the baby something nice," Andrew quipped as he handed Neil his fifty dollars.
"Oh, we’re going to get the finest designer pacifier money can buy.”
“...I fear for the future of our unborn child.”
Neil raised an eyebrow. "Oh, it's our unborn child now?”
Andrew shrugged. No time like the present to test the waters and just go for it. An official ‘no’ was better than not knowing, right? “Sure, yeah."
"I got the distinct impression you didn't want to date anyone,” Neil said. He looked a little intrigued though. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but did I or did I not just make one hundred and fifty dollars because you wanted to make sure your dates ended badly?”
“Two hundred, actually, after I give you your tip,” Andrew said. “But the important distinction is that my cousin picked out those disasters.”
“And, what, you’re saying that you’re picking me?”
Andrew met Neil’s ice blue eyes and nodded. “Yup.”
Neil blinked, like he didn’t quite believe Andrew.
Well, Andrew didn’t have anything to lose. “I’ll take you to the bathrooms and blow you if you need proof.”
This time, Neil stumbled just the tiniest bit. He sat down in the chair Andrew’s date had vacated. His cheeks were definitely pink.
Perfect, Andrew thought.
*
A week later found Andrew sitting in the café, enjoying a lovely chocolate chunk cookie. Across from him, Neil was sipping a cup of tea.
“So Nicky is trying to get you to agree to another date?” Neil asked, swinging his legs in his chair. “Why?”
Andrew took a bite of his cookie. “He was making a big deal about the other guys all telling him that I already had a boyfriend. He said, quote: ‘If you had a boyfriend, you’d tell me, right?’”
“He seems pretty optimistic,” Neil noted.
“He is.”
“Ahhh, so this is the infamous boyfriend!” Nicky’s voice preceded him, but for once, Andrew didn’t mind. It wasn’t like Neil was going to shrink away from him just because he was loud. "Andrew, you could have tried this amazing thing called telling me and I would have left you alone!"
"To be fair, Andrew didn't know we were going to be dating until he paid me to ruin his dates specifically so he didn't have to date," Neil said. He took a drink before continuing. "No one is more surprised than us about this outcome." His sarcasm was so even that even Andrew had to admit he didn't know if Neil was teasing him.
He fell a little bit more in love.
"That's Andrew for you," Nicky said, choosing to laugh instead of getting upset. "Welcome to the family, Neil. Congratulations on the baby, by the way!" he added as he left.
"I wonder if we can get him to throw us a baby shower," Neil wondered out loud.
"We'll put all the good stuff on the registry," Andrew replied, without missing a beat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd grinned like that.
And if they ended up making out against the back door when Neil got off work later that day, well, that was between them and the door and the pigeon trying to steal cake crumbs out of the dumpster.