Chapter Text
Chris sighed in relief as he sat down in the car, turning to the driver. "So, do you know where I'm going? Or what the fuck is going on?"
The driver shakes his head, "sorry mate, all I know is I'm taking you to the SCG."
The English man groans, "urgh, I'm exhausted, I just want to sleep."
"I'm Frank, by the way, I've been given the role of your driver while you're here. Sounds like you've come in from England, huh? Long journey that." Frank grimaces in sympathy and takes them away from the airport.
Chris nods, "you can say that again, it's nice to meet you Frank, I'm Chris but everyone calls me Woakesy." He closes his eyes and rests his head back against the chair, "I don't mean to be rude but, wake me up when we're there."
An hour later, Chris was sat at a large table avoiding the leering stares of (very) newly appointed Australian Head Coach, Justin Langer, Cricket Australia CEO, James Sutherland, as well as, the most confusing of them all, England Head Coach, Trevor Bayliss.
Chris's confusion only grew further when Australian fast bowler, Pat Cummins, walked in, looking just as wary as Chris as he sat tentatively in the only chair that was left, right next to Chris.
James leant against the table, a smile on his face but his eyes looked eerily empty. "So, I suppose you two are wondering why you're both here?"
The two players glanced nervously at each other.
Pat nods, rubbing at his cheek, "you could say that, yeh."
A fierce looking young woman with brown hair walks in. "Hi boys, hi Chris, lovely to meet you, I'm Lucy. I'm Cricket Australia's Communications Manager. You're not in trouble, either of you."
Chris smiles politely, shaking her hand, "good to know."
She grins, taking a seat on the table. "So the reason you're here. And why we've flown you out, Chris. As I'm sure you're aware, the Australian Cricket Team are suffering from quite a bad bit of press at the moment."
Chris rolls his eyes, mumbling, "that's what happens if you cheat."
Pat frowns, feeling defensive of his friends and shuffles as far away from Chris as he can in his seat. "You still haven't mentioned why we're here."
JL grins, "CA and I have been talking and we think we've come up with an idea to improve the public's perception of us."
James jumps in, "you're well-known as one of the loveliest people in the game, Chris. And, so, we want to take advantage of that. Public perception is very important to us and so is our relationship with the fans as they obviously help to generate our income and-"
"Can you just tell me why I'm here? I've been flown out to a country with no warning because a team I could not give a toss rightfully have some bad PR after they cheated? Although, okay, the President getting involved might have been a little far. But, anyway. What the fuck am I doing here and when can I get some sleep?"
Lucy smiles kindly, "we want you to be in a relationship."
Chris's jaw drops and he blinks at her slowly.
Pat's eyes widen, as he sits there stunned.
She continues, "a fake relationship, well, unless you want to get together for real, in which case I don't care. But we need you to be spotted out and about together, post things that hint you're together, you'll need to confirm your relationship at some point. We'd like pictures on social media, saying things like 'miss you' while the others on tour. We'll need you to keep it up for the rest of the year at least."
There's complete silence as Chris stares in horror at Lucy and Pat bobs his mouth open and closed like a fish.
The only English man in the room takes a breath, getting himself a cup of water from the machine and sitting back down. "Why? Why me?"
Trev leans forward, patting his hand. "The ECB were interested as it could improve PR of the England team, if we have an out, gay-
Chris cuts in, "I'm bi."
He nods dismissively, "right, sorry. If we have an out, bi player, dating another man. The England fans aren't always the most accepting and it would be good PR for us to show that discrimination isn't tolerated."
Sighing, Chris feels frustration bubble within him. They're only using him for a bit of PR, they don't actually give a crap about homophobia. "We have plenty of players already in relationships... the captain is in a gay relationship? But you want me to pretend as if I'm dating a guy I barely know."
"Yeh, like no offence to Woakesy," Pat smiles kindly, "but I don't know him. Plus, we live on opposite ends of the world, our teams are rivals...? I'm just not seeing how this is a good idea. Or practical."
"Well, that's why you're here, Chris. You're going to stay Pat's for a bit so you can get to know each other. Come up with a story. Maybe introduce him to your family while he's here." Lucy smiles encouragingly like what she's saying isn't completely mad.
Pat frowns, "uh, don't get ahead of yourselves, neither of us have said yes."
"I'm afraid you don't really have a choice. If you don't do it yourselves, we'll just leak something to the press. I'd take the option to decide what information is let out to the public if I were you."
Chris and Pat share a look, "uh-"
Lucy stands up abruptly, "I've got a meeting to get to, I'll talk to you both later in the week. There's a car waiting outside to take you both to Pat's. Bye."
Chris walks over to his coach, "in the nicest way possible, what the fuck!?"
He grimaces apologetically, "I'm really sorry mate but there's not a lot we can do. I'll be staying at JL's for a bit so you know where to find me if you need me."
"Doesn't he live in like, Perth?"
Trev taps his finger on his chin in thought, "yeh, you know what maybe just phone me if needed."
Pat glances at his new coach in concern, "so we've just gotta roll with this?"
JL pats his shoulder, "sorry buddy. I'll see you when we're back training." He nodded at Chris before heading out with Trev.
Chris turns to Pat, an apologetic look plastered on his face. "I'm so sorry about this, I'll book a hotel and once I've got over the jetlag, book a flight back and be out of your hair."
Shaking his head, Pat sighs, "oh no, please, don't worry, it's not your fault. It's my Cricket board. I'm the one who's sorry. But, uh, you can stay at mine until you've got a flight, if you need, don't worry about it."
"Honestly, it's no trouble. I don't want to put you out or anything."
Pat smiles, "nah, come on, you look exhausted... and I'm slightly worried Lucy will come for our heads if we don't leave together."
Chris chuckles, "she's one scary lady. If you really don't mind, it would be great. Finding a hotel seems beyond my mental capabilities right now."
Half an hour later, Pat was opening the door to his house and helping to carry Chris's stuff in. "Right, my guest room is up the stairs, first door on the left. Go and get some sleep. If you want a shower, that's cool, too."
"Thank you so much, I'm so grateful for this."
The Australian rolled his eyes, "it's the least I could do. Now go away, I don't want to see you until you've gotten some sleep."
Chris grins, "alright, alright. I can most definitely do that." He smiles in thanks at Pat again before heading upstairs, having a wonderful shower, alright yes, it might have only been wonderful because his muscles were sore but that's besides the point, and getting into a pair of pyjama bottoms and quickly collapsing onto the bed and falling asleep.
While Chris catches up on some sleep, Pat tidies up a little, don't judge, he's generally pretty organised but he was not aware there would be a random person staying in his house. Okay, not like random random, but, you get the point. Once that's done, he gets started on some food for them to eat once Woakesy is awake and sticks the footie on.
"Thank you so much, again." Chris smiles gratefully as they settle down to eat at the table.
"I'm getting the feeling that I'm going to have to ban you from saying thank you." Pat chuckles.
Chris blushes, "sorry, sorry, I just feel really bad for imposing on you."
Pat shakes his head, smiling. "You're really living up to that nicest guy in cricket tag that you have."
"I'll just shut up then." Chris laughs.
Pat laughs as he tucks into his dinner, "right, how much do you understand about AFL?"
Chris grimaces, "...I think AFL stands for Australian Football League? That's about as much as I could tell you."
Shaking his head, Pat sighs, "this is going to be a long stay. Right, I support the Giants..."