Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Akane Aoi is going to die.

He’s only fifteen years old when he gets told the news. He doesn’t know how to feel.

“Akaaaane..”

“What is it, Mirai?” Akane glances down at the smaller clock keeper as he cleans one of his boundary’s many clocks. It’s his job at that point- to be worked to the point of exhaustion. It’s what he’s best at, too. He’s always helping people out, even if he never wants to. “I’m busy right now. I can’t braid your hair, so you’ll have to ask Kako to do it. I’ll cut you some apple slices after or something when I’m done, just give me a few minutes to finish this up.”

“Mirai needs to talk to you, it’s important!”

“This is also important. The old man is going to kick my ass if I stop- hey!” he feels the girl pull at his leg. She grips onto the fabric of his pants tightly. Despite looking like a five year old, she’s strong.. for some reason. “Let go, you’re going to make me lose my balance! I told you I’d-”

“It’s not about Mirai’s hair! Mirai said it was important!” Mirai tugs on it even more. Akane can practically feel the ladder wobbling. How Mirai got up so quickly without him noticing is beyond him. “So listen!”

“Okay, okay! Jeez, I’m coming down! Let go of me first!” he lets out a sigh of relief when she does. She hops off the ladders before he climbs down. “What is this all about? You’re never this demanding. What, did you mess with some of the students again? Did Number Three threaten you for breaking and entering? You know what I said about that Mitsuba kid, he-”

“No, it’s something else!” Mirai reaches her arms up and does a grabbing-like motion with her hands. Akane picks her up with a swift motion, carrying her as if she were a baby. “Take Mirai and Akane to Kako!”

“To the old man?” the redhead raises an eyebrow. He feels Mirai clutch onto his clothing. “Why? Did you do something wrong? What does he need to undo this time?”

“It’s not that!” Mirai huffs, but it’s not with her usual energy. She almost sounds sad; it’s a bit alarming considering Akane’s never seen her this way. She’s always happy and excited.. for her to be upset is strange. It would take a lot to get her like that. “Mirai and Kako both need to talk to Akane.”

“About what?”

“..Mirai doesn’t want to be the one to say. Mirai wants Kako to start.”

“Hm,”

Akane is clueless, and so he doesn’t say anything else until he gets to the third clock keeper. All he can really do is mentally brace himself for some sort of scolding.

“Mirai said you two needed to talk to me?” He gently puts Mirai down in front of him. He has to look up to be face to face with Kako. It hurts his neck, and while he complains- he does it anyway. He doesn’t want to seem too rude. “Is this something involving the rumors? The president? I might be able to fix the rumors if I ask Ao-chan, but the president is beyond repair-”

“Nonsense, boy.” Kako silences him easily. That makes two people who have been cutting Akane’s sentences off today, but this is a little more understandable given the fact that he’s always been a little intimidated. He thought it’d die down when he got to high school at the very least, but now he’s a first year and it’s remained the same. “It’s much more important than either of those.”

“I’d say Ao-chan is pretty important.” Akane raises an eyebrow. He almost feels inclined to say that, though he doesn’t think that’s too true anymore. Aoi hasn’t been one of his main priorities in a while. “Minamoto-kaichou.. not so much, but he’s a threat to us, isn’t he? Being an exorcist and all.. What else could-”

“You are going to die.”

“..what?”

He sees Mirai look down at the floor in misery. He can almost see a bit of pity behind Kako’s strange mask- in his cold, empty eyes.

“Mirai was looking through Number Five’s books for fun..” she fidgets with her hands. She’s still a child, even if she’s a supernatural- she’s going to have childlike habits. She does stuff she’s not supposed to. She finds out things she doesn’t want to know. Poor kid. “And Mirai came across Akane’s. Akane.. is going to die later.”

Akane takes a nervous step back.

“This isn’t funny.” he hisses, crossing his arms in discomfort. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest- the thoughts he kept buried in the back of his mind beginning to break out. “Okay, now- what did you guys really want to tell me? I have community cleaning with the president after school this Friday, so I won’t be free to do more of your-”

“Akane,” Mirai reaches up for his hand. He can see a glimpse of her eyes. “Mirai doesn’t want you to die.”

He quits his rambling.

“Unfortunately, this is no joke.” Kako’s steps sound like those of an old clock ticking. Heavy and terrifying if listened to long enough. “When Mirai rushed to tell me about your future, I did not believe it myself. But I have read your book. Those books do not lie. You will die before this year ends.”

Akane can almost feel the world crashing down on him; but denial will always come first. Denial is the first step towards the acceptance stage, a stage Akane probably won’t reach.

“That can’t be true.” he scoffs. “Those books have to have some errors. That spider probably didn’t write them out right, I’m- I’m perfectly healthy.” but the way Mirai holds onto his hand so tightly almost makes him change his mind.

“He does not write those books himself.”

“Well then whoever did made a mistake. This is ridiculous.”

“The books write themselves.”

“Uhm.” the redhead pauses, “Then-”

“Listen carefully.” Kako walks towards him to put a hand on his shoulder. It’s almost reassuring- though his situation takes away from that. “There is no need for tears. You’re going to make Mirai cry as well.”

Akane swiftly wipes his eyes with his free hand. He doesn’t know how Kako realized his tears when he didn’t.

“We want you to live your human life to the fullest.” he sniffles a little at the words. He’s never even thought about hearing this until now. He expected to live up to twenty-five at the very least, maybe dying a peaceful and quiet death in the safety of his own bed after eating a nice warm dinner with his future partner. Now he realizes he isn’t going to have that future. He isn’t going to have one at all. This isn’t what he wants- he doesn’t want to die. “Your life still has value, Akane. Do not let go of what you have because you are aware that it’s all going to end. You still have goals to complete, do you not? Do everything you wish for before you pass on. You will not ever get to do it after.”

“Gramps is bad at comfort.”

Akane holds in a giggle at Mirai’s comment. At least he has her to make this situation a little less gloomy.

“Just give it your all. We are lessening your work around here from here on. You will now have more free time to do what you please.”

“..alright.” Akane clears his throat before letting go of Mirai’s hand. He ruffles the girl’s hair and lets out a shaky sigh, “I’m.. gonna go home. I need time to process this.”

“Stay safe out there, boy.” Kako adjusts his posture. “You have until December 31st. You have quite the amount of time left.”

“December 31st..” Akane mumbles. It’s January 1st when he’s told. He has the entire year to live, and after that- it’s over for him. “Okay.”

“Mirai wants Akane to stay safe, too.” he can feel Mirai hug his legs from behind. She isn’t tall enough to hug him any higher. He has to hold in his tears.

“Thank you, Mirai.” After the many years he’s been a clock keeper, he’s grown attached to her- it’s like he has someone to take care of. She’s like a little sister to him. He knows it’s going to be difficult to lose her- or rather have her lose him. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“See you..” Mirai lets go with a frown. Kako doesn’t say anything.

Akane walks home by himself in the rain.

It’s hitting him harshly. It’s fogging up his glasses. He’s soaked. He feels terrible.

“Ahaha~ why the long face, Aoi?”

Great, okay. Now he has two reasons to feel terrible.

“Let’s.. not do this today,” he mutters. He hates the rain, but praises it just this once- it makes it difficult to tell he was crying beforehand. “I’m just walking home, you should walk to yours. I don’t feel like doing this right now, president.”

Teru blinks at how straight-forward he sounds. “Who hurt you today, hm? Was it the girls from your second period? Are they laughing at your hair color again?”

“That doesn’t have to do with anything, no.” Akane pauses, “I don’t even know how you know about that, actually.”

“Just heard it around~ it isn’t hard to spread something in our school. For such a smart student, I thought you’d know that by now.” the exorcist moves closer to him on the sidewalk. Their forearms are pressing together, and Teru’s umbrella covers the supernatural’s head- protecting it from the rain. “So, tell me, Aoi, what has you so down? Is someone else making fun of you, perhaps? Another rejection from Akane-san?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, I can practically read it off your miserable face. You don’t need to be so shy.”

“Just drop it.”

Teru does the opposite. He tries pushing at least another ten times- forcing himself into Akane’s personal business as always. The more he does, the more he reminds Akane of his short lifespan. He can’t take it. He can feel his thoughts creeping up on him, his eyes are beginning to go blurry again- his chest is tightening, he can’t even think properly-

“Can you just- stop?” he blurts out at some point, his voice cracking halfway in his sentence. Now he has no reason to be thankful for the rain; he’s just made his crying obvious in some other way. “I just.. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Teru is quiet for a few seconds before responding. “I see. Well,” his hand brushes against Akane’s. “I’m always here if you would like to talk about it. I suppose I was just a bit concerned.”

Akane leans his body against Teru’s, close enough to absorb his body heat. He can hear Teru’s still heartbeat against the sound of rain. He can feel the comforting warmth of his body. Akane is tired. He doesn’t even know what’s going on. He just has to pray he doesn’t say the wrong thing, and so he keeps his responses short. “Thank you,” he whispers as he feels Teru’s arm wrap around his shoulder. It evens out his balance; that’s probably the only reason he does it. Nothing more than that. It’s a friend thing.

“I’ll walk you home. The rain has gotten you all sluggish, hasn’t it?” He's thankful Teru changes the topic. If he continued to push, Akane probably would have broken into two hundred pieces. He also doesn’t understand why he does it, though. Well, Teru can be kind sometimes. It’s more like whenever he feels like it. He’s walked Akane home before. A handful of times, actually. “I remember you talked about how much it bothered you.”

“Mhm..”

“Rest as soon as possible, you don’t sound too good. Your parents aren’t home, correct? I remember you talking about them not being around too much, as well. It should be quiet enough to nap for a bit.”

“But it’s the first day of the year. Why would I nap today?”

“Because you clearly need it, Aoi.” Teru hums softly. “As I said, I’m concerned. You don’t have to do what I say, I’m only suggesting it. I advise you sleep even if it’s just for a few hours.”

“I hate naps.”

“I’m aware.”

Teru knows a lot about Akane. Akane can almost feel himself smile despite his rain-covered face.

It’s going to be hard to lose him, too.

They aren’t close-close, but they’re still pretty close. Close enough to be comfortable around each other to be their true selves. Close enough to ramble about things without realizing. Close enough to tease and laugh when it’s just them alone.

“We’re here.”

Akane must’ve zoned out, as he didn't realize when they got there. Now Teru’s holding onto his hand- a look of genuine worry on his face.

“Are you sure there isn’t anything you want to get off your chest before you head inside?”

There’s two things Akane wants to tell him.

“..no,”

But nothing comes out.

He has twelve months to do it. Twelve months to confess his feelings, twelve months to admit how little time he has left- he’ll be fine.

“Alright then.” Teru lets go of his hand, allowing him to walk up the steps to his porch. “See you at school tomorrow, Aoi. Sleep well. You know where to find me when you have trouble sleeping late at night.”

“Thank you again,” Akane mumbles, watching Teru give a small, genuine smile with a nod following afterward. “See you tomorrow, president.”

Teru walks off afterward.

Akane has a lot to think about. Now that he’s alone in silence, his thoughts are screaming- they’re the only thing he can hear in that damn empty house.

First of all, he’s going to die. That's already been flooding his mind, and he’s been informed just less than an hour ago. He’s only in high school- he’s barely gotten to live any of his life. He’s still a kid. It isn’t fair.

Second of all, Kako was right when he said Akane still had goals and wishes he wanted to fulfill. He wants to get better at literature, he wants to learn how to swim, he wants to get back into piano lessons- but he isn’t sure if he’ll be able to do virtually any of them. They all take time; time he doesn’t have.

And third of all, he has a lot of pent-up feelings to think about. He’s held them in for so long, he doesn’t know how to handle them. From wanting to tell Lemon that his haircut is stupid, to wanting to apologize profusely to Aoi for not keeping his promise, to wanting to spill out his entire heart to Teru- everything is so confusing.

But really, it’s fine. If he thinks about it a different way, maybe it won’t be so bad.

It’s like an hourglass that represents his life has been flipped to begin its awaited countdown.

It’ll last 12 months; that’s how long he has until everything ends. 12 months is long enough, right?

Hopefully he knows what to do before the sand runs out.

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that comparing his lifespan to an hourglass doesn’t make it any better. Not even in the slightest. It actually makes things a lot worse. He stares at his ceiling with teary eyes while laying on his bed. He’s so tired.

This is going to be a long (or rather extremely short) year.

Chapter Text

Akane’s never really celebrated holidays with others. He’s always been alone; and while it sounds rather melodramatic, that's just what he’s used to. Holidays are just any other day. He did spend New Year at school after all, being told about his so-called destined death.

That’s right. He remembers it clearly. He’s going to die.

It’s currently January 31st.

He holds a bag in his hands tightly while he waits to be able to cross the street. Earlier, he decided to go to a bakery and buy himself a few pastries- it was an attempt to clear his thoughts. They haven’t gotten any better whatsoever, they’re constantly reminding him of his lifespan. So he thought a distraction would be nice. Though he holds his bag with embarrassment; he doesn’t know a lot about himself, as he’s changed so much for other people, but his sweet tooth would never change. He doesn’t ever mention it in fear of being laughed at.

Until he gets violently knocked into by a little girl, causing him to drop his bag.

“Tch-” he falls right into the snow, his face being covered in the cold substance. The girl is much shorter than him, how strong can she even be? He wipes his nose quickly with a small sniffle or two, reaching over for his pastry bag. Its contents have spilled out all over the snow, the sweet raspberry jelly filled shortbread cookies he carefully picked out now being tainted with the snow. “Ah, dammit..”

“Oh, dear. I sincerely apologize for my little sister’s actions, she must not have been watching where she was going. I could give you the money for some..” he hears a voice behind him say, “..Aoi?”

“President?”

Okay, great. Now this is awkward. What is it with Teru randomly finding him when he isn’t feeling well? Is this fate? Perhaps karma? What sort of horrible coincidence is this?

“Here, let me help you up. Your face has gotten all red, ahaha~ how cute. Are you alright?”

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

“I- I don’t need your help or anything, I’m fine.” Akane rejects the hand he’s offered, quickly getting up and onto his feet- clearing his throat afterward. “I’ll just-”

“I didn’t know you liked sweets.”

Akane isn’t sure how much redder he can get.

He doesn’t know if his blush is from being embarrassed, or maybe being flustered over being called cute. Maybe it’s a bit of both. Teru is ruining his (very short) life. This is what the opposite of making your last moments your best looks like.

“I don’t.” he kneels down and shoves all of the cookies back in his bag. They’re covered in germs. They’re disgusting now. He can’t eat those, what if he gets sick and his time gets cut short? What if he gets a deadly disease and spends his last hour in pain? What if-

“What are those then?”

Sometimes Teru is okay. He’s there to snap Akane out of his paranoid thoughts by replacing them with something a little less worse. Still bad, but not as bad. “They’re for Ao-chan,” he responds in a matter-of-fact tone, trying his best to lie. “She asked me to buy her some.”

“Mmh~” Teru chuckles, “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Well, alright then.” he glances down, “You’re holding that quite tightly, aren’t you? No need to get so defensive over it. I’m not going to take it from your hands.”

“Well, your sister definitely did. She knocked it out of my hands.”

“Ah, that’s right.. she did.” Teru picks up Tiara, giving her a big smile afterward. “Why don’t you apologize to her, Aoi?”

“..excuse me?”

“You did happen to be in our way,”

“Minamoto-kaichou.. are you hearing yourself right now?”

“I am.”

Akane’s face scrunches up in annoyance. He knows Teru is soft for his siblings, sure- but excusing his little sister’s actions despite her clearly needing to apologize? Maybe he should just develop feelings for someone else at that point.. someone who will value him a little more.

“Okay, I’m leaving. Whatever.” he lets out a frustrated sigh, walking towards the nearest trash can. “..why are you following me?”

“Why are you throwing those out?”

“Because they fell in the snow.” he opens the bin, glancing down at his bag with sadness. “I can’t eat these.”

“And why not?”

“President. I just said.. they fell in the snow.”

“What significance does that have?”

“They’re covered in all sorts of bacteria. People step on shit all the time, and then step in the snow with those same shoes.. if I eat something that dirty, I’ll get sick. I won’t heal as fast as everyone else because my immune system is terrible, and then I’ll lay in bed for several weeks until someone finally tells me I only have a few days left to live. I’ll die an unhappy death because I died of sickness from eating these floor cookies. It’s best to-”

“I see.. paranoid today, aren’t you?”

Akane doesn’t respond.

“Well, I’m sure they’re still good. I’ll even try one for you-”

He turns slightly. An opportunity to kill an exorcist? An alternative way to get rid of his feelings?

“-and then feed you the rest!~”

Oh. Yeah, no.. he’s trying to kill them both.

“I’m good.” he turns back towards the trash can and dumps the whole bag in there. He feels horrible for wasting food, but it’s better than dying early. It’s not like any of this is going to matter 11 months from now. “I’ll go buy myself something else, I guess.”

“You just threw out perfectly good cookies, Aoi..” Teru hums softly, “Ah, wait, so those cookies were for you?”

“They aren’t!” the supernatural’s deep blush makes a grand return. He covers his face with his scarf, lifting it enough so it reaches his nose. “They’re for Ao-chan, I just- messed up, is all! I don’t even like sweets, I’d get a cavity!”

“Mmh, ahaha~ are you embarrassed of it?” he stares at Teru, clearly irritated. “There’s no need to get all flustered, I think it’s cute!” and that’s just another reason Akane should feel embarrassed. He watches as Tiara whispers something in Teru’s ear. “How about I buy you a new batch?”

“..what’s the catch?”

“You’re always so suspicious of me. I’m hurt that you could assume I’d do something so wrong right in front of my little sister, are you trying to give me a bad image? I’m just-”

“Tiara wants cookies too!”

“That’s right, princess. I know you do,”

“Oh, so you’re just going to buy me cookies and make me give them all to her, aren’t you? Big whoop..” Akane huffs, “I’ll pass. I’ll go get myself some candy or something..”

“Just to give it to Mirai?”

“What?” he furrows his eyebrows, “I don’t do that.”

“There’s not much of a difference when you think about it.” Teru gives him his usual charming smile. Akane loves his smile, sure- but he doesn’t like that smile. (Why won’t Teru just be honest with him? It takes away the point of falling in love. There’s no true trust between them.. maybe it’s just one-sided. It always will be, won’t it?) “If I buy you cookies, you can share them with my younger sister.. and if you buy yourself candy, you’re going to end up sharing it with Mirai.”

“For your information, Mirai can’t have more than ten pieces a day. She gets all energetic and bounces around the bound-” Akane cuts himself off. There’s no way he’s mentioning a boundary in front of Tiara, a future exorcist. She’s cute and energetic, sort of reminds him of Mirai.. but she’s much stronger. It takes two hits for Mirai to knock Akane down. “..she just bounces around and makes this weird squeaky sound effect, I don’t know. I don’t bring candy around her anymore, but when I do- it’s only a few pieces for my own sake.”

Teru goes silent at his rambling. Akane flusters up again once he hears a soft chuckle escape from the boy’s mouth.

“L-Look,” Akane wants to mentally beat himself up for stuttering. “Point is, I’ll go find myself something else to buy. Go hang out with your little sister, I don’t even know why you two are out here. Go back inside or something, it’s freezing. She doesn’t even look like she has warm clothes.”

“Tiara is warm! Teru-oniichan gave her his coat!”

“That makes sense, he would do that..” he sighs, “President, aren’t you freezing?”

“It’s not too cold out here.” he watches Teru shrug. There is seriously something wrong with him. Akane’s always had trouble feeling the heat, but it’s currently snowing and this man is wearing nothing more than a white T-shirt. “Plus, I don’t mind the cold.”

“Tch..” Akane thinks for a moment.

Well, he’s going to die soon.

He doesn’t need his scarf anyway.

“Ah.. what are you doing?”

“Just stand still and don’t let your sister electrocute me.”

He carefully takes his scarf off and wraps it around Teru instead, making sure it looks neat and presentable- but as if Teru would care, he doesn’t care about fashion one bit. Usually his outfits are atrocious. Slowly but surely, their faces are getting closer and closer- but Akane doesn’t take note of that. He can feel Tiara’s judging stare, and he knows Teru is staring down at him.

“There. Now you won’t freeze to death.”

The two lock eyes, red staring into blue- and blue staring into red.

“Your freckles look nice up close.”

Actually, screw eye contact.

Akane looks down at the floor, his face instantly flushing red. The cold weather and his pale skin don’t help his case at all- Teru can probably see his blush clearly. He can’t even hide with his scarf because he gave it to a smug bastard. That’s what he gets for loving someone so cocky. He needs to think things through. He shoves his hands in his pockets with a flustered expression.

“Ahaha~ you aren’t going to thank me? Well, you’re welcome for the compliment.”

“You should be thanking me.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Teru smiles at him. (It’s a real smile, Akane thinks. I can’t tell what the hell is going on half of the time. Do you trust me, or do you hate me? Sometimes it feels like a mixture of both. I can read you well, but not well enough. Just.. tell me how you feel about me, please. Give me a sign. Then he thinks a bit more. Wait, now I sort of sound like I'm head over heels..) “Thank you for not letting me freeze, Aoi.”

“You can keep the scarf.” he looks back up, beginning to walk back towards the street again. The light is finally red, he’s probably missed a few times it changed. “I don’t need it anymore. I’m going to go buy myself something else, see you later, Minamoto-kaichou-”

“Come on,” he feels the exorcist grab onto his wrist before he can make it to the crosswalk. “Won’t you come with me and my princess to the bakery? It’s the least I can do. We did accidentally dirty all your cookies, after all. I’d like to buy you some new ones.. I promise Tiara won’t eat all of them.”

Akane thinks for a moment.

Like he told himself earlier, he's going to die soon. He might not have this opportunity later. This could be a crucial interaction in their relationship, and he might miss it if he passes on the offer.. But it can also mess everything up depending on how things go. He needs to think carefully if he wants their relationship to deepen, and he also-

“You’ve zoned out again,” Teru tells him, letting go of his wrist. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes.” the clock keeper mutters, “I’m fine,”

“Well then, as I was saying.. will you come with us?”

There’s a small pause of silence.

“..you’re paying, right?”

“Mhm, it’ll be all on me.”

“Okay, fine.. I guess I will.”

“Hooray~” Teru smiles at him again, but it’s right back to the plastered charming ones. (Akane can feel his heart sink, just a little bit. Seriously, what’s the point?) “Well, lead the way, Aoi. Take us to whatever bakery you’d like.”

Akane lets out a small sigh.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Eh? Is this the place?”

“Yes, this is the place.. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just so..”

“Tiara thinks it’s small!”

The three are standing in front of a bakery. It’s not like Tiara’s wrong, or anything.. The bakery itself is pretty small. It’s been around their city for years, Akane’s surprised the two haven’t been there before.

“It’s run by an old family friend,” Akane hums softly, stepping inside with his hands in his pockets. As expected, the two behind him follow. “I used to come here a lot when I was little. My parents were too..” he glances at Tiara, “..uhm, you know- it’s not important. I won’t get into it,” Teru nods. He understands, thankfully. Akane isn’t about to get into a twenty-eight page essay on how his parents are, either. “But the owners used to watch over me sometimes.”

“Ah, I see. How kind of them~” Teru coos, putting Tiara down since he had been carrying her around the entire time. “Could you watch my little sister for me, Aoi? I’ll go place an order for us.”

“Huh?” Akane tilts his head to the side, “It’s your first time here, though. Are you sure you don’t want me to place the order instead? I’ve been ordering the raspberry-”

“I’m sure. I’ll make sure to get something you like, don’t worry.” Teru flicks his nose. (What the hell. Akane wonders why he likes this guy so much.) “Now go find us a seat, alright?”

“..fine, fine- but if you order something gross, I’m making you pay for another pastry.” The clock keeper holds his hand out for Tiara to take. “Okay, now.. Let’s see.”

Tiara stares at his hand in confusion for a few seconds. Akane looks at her before the embarrassment begins to sit in- Tiara isn’t Mirai. Not all kids are going to take his hand the same way she does, especially not this girl who just met him. What was he even thinking to offer? Now she’s going to think he’s weird, or she’s going to-

She takes his hand.

Okay, well, never mind.

“So, uhm.. Minamoto-chan,” he starts. He doesn’t know how to start a conversation with children other than Mirai. “What sort of sweets do you like?” So of course, his question is going to be somewhat related to her.. In an indirect way. He’s an only child. He’s never really had to talk to younger kids.

“Tiara likes lemon candies,” the opposite of Mirai’s favorite. Mirai likes sweets the same way he does; she can’t stand anything sour. He lets out a small hum, opening his mouth to speak again- but she does it first. “Teru-oniichan says you’re his favorite sweet.”

(What the fuck, he thinks to himself. What.. what the fuck. He doesn’t even know what to say. He swears often, but he isn’t about to swear in front of a.. five year old? Six year old? Either way, she’s a kid. He doesn’t curse in front of Mirai, he won’t curse in front of Tiara. That’s the rules. Probably.)

“Oh, no.. wait..” he hears the girl say, “Teru-oniichan says you’re really sweet.” he tries to talk again, but she interrupts him. (What is it with people interrupting him? He’s so tired of it.. he just wants to speak, damn.) “Or I think he said sweets are.. Akane? Or..”

“..let’s go sit down, okay?” Akane blurts out, bringing her along. He finds an empty table for two. “Do you need help sitting down?”

“Tiara can do it on her own,” and she does, hopping onto a seat after a few tries. Akane sits in front of her without any sort of struggle. He thinks about another question to ask her. (What do five year olds like anyway? She’s a future exorcist, she isn’t like everyone else.. Mirai’s a supernatural, I can’t keep comparing them. They may act similar, but they’re polar opposites otherwise. He needs to make a good impression or Teru will never talk to him again. His family means a lot to him, after all.. Tiara’s opinion on him could destroy their relationship.) “Your glasses look funny.”

Akane blinks.

“Thanks.”

This is going to be a lot more awkward than he wants it to be. Thankfully, the girl’s gone quiet. Maybe that’s it for their terrible conversations? He won’t have to worry about making a good impression, he won’t have to overthink everything he says- children are impressionable.

“Akane,”

Nope. There’s more talking. He makes sure not to frown. He gives the girl a forced smile. (It’s fine. He’s used to it. He’s always helping around at school, giving the people who thank him a forced smile. Are they even grateful? Or are they just using him to do the work they don’t want to do? He needs to stop overthinking these types of things. Is this how Teru feels? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know if he wants to.)

“Yes, Minamoto-chan?”

“Do you like Teru-oniichan?”

“Excuse me?” Akane flusters up. Screw his insecurities, he’s putting his undivided attention on her for the sake of finding out what she means. Does she know? Is it that obvious he has feelings for Teru? (It can be to the people who know him well. Lucky him, it’s less than five people. Doesn’t that also make him unlucky?) “What makes you.. say that? Any reason you’re bringing that up?”

“Just wondering..”

“I mean,” he clears his throat. She’s five. She doesn't understand the concept of romance, she’s probably just wondering what Akane thinks about her big brother. That’s reasonable enough. “I like him on some days. It really depends, honestly.”

“Ohh, okay!”

That was simple.

“Because Teru-oniichan really likes you.”

Scratch that; it’s not simple. Akane struggles to regain his thoughts for a moment. “..does he?”

“He says so all the time to Tiara and Kou-oniichan.” the young Minamoto swings her feet back and forth. Occasionally Akane can feel her kick his leg. “He says stuff like-”

“I’m back~” Tiara is cut off by Teru’s return. “Ah.. you picked a table with just two seats?”

“Was I supposed to pick another?” Akane pushes his glasses up with one finger. “This seemed the most convenient.” He means he picked it because he was trying to get out of a conversation, but that also works.

“Well, how are we all supposed to sit together? You don’t want me to stand up, do you?”

“Honestly, I do.” he shrugs with a playful smile. It’s what they do all the time- they bicker. “But sit together? What do you mean?”

“Aren’t we going to hang out for a bit?” Teru hums softly, placing a tray onto the table in front of him. “I got us all some fresh jelly rolls~”

“We are?” Akane tilts his head to the side, “I mean.. I thought you were going to give me two percent of the pastries and then I could go.”

“Eh??~” the exorcist whines, “Aooooi~ won’t you stay with us a little longer? I’ll go get my sister a baby seat so we can sit together!”

“Tiara doesn’t need a baby seat!”

“Come on, princess- just cooperate with me here, you know you do~”

“Kou-oniichan doesn’t use baby seats!”

“Kou is a big kid, and-”

“But Tiara’s a big kid too!”

“You are a big kid, but-”

“Waaahuahuaha! Tiara doesn’t want to!”

“Tiara..”

Teru stops talking when he takes a glance at Akane. He’s giggling with an obvious smile.

“..sorry,” he blurts out, covering his mouth with his hands. “Just- you two remind me of Mirai and I is all.”

“Wow, I see..” Teru gives him a soft smile in response. It’s a genuine one. “I’m sure she and Tiara would get along very well. They do have their similarities, and.. I suppose we do as well~”

“Who’s Mirai? Tiara wants to meet her!” Tiara exclaims in excitement, “Please, please? Pretty please?”

“You’ll have to ask Aoi about that one.”

“Akane, can Tiara meet Mirai?”

“Ah, ah, ah..” Teru waves a finger around. “You would refer to him as Aoi-senpai, alright, princess?”

“Oh, no- it’s okay,” Akane assures him. He lowers his hands to rest his elbows on the table. “I don’t mind. She’s just a kid, I don’t think she understands.”

“Mmh, well, alright~” the exorcist still has his smile. (And so, Akane does, too.) “I'll go get a baby chair, give me a few moments.”

“..so when can Tiara meet Mirai?”

“Oh, uhm..” the latter blinks. (Tiara can not meet Mirai. Akane thinks for a moment- he has this image in his head of Tiara poking Mirai. She then shatters into a few hundred pieces and is unintentionally exorcized right in front of him. He’ll never get her back. Well.. he’s never actually seen anyone be exorcized before- but that’s what he’s assuming it’s like. He doesn’t let Mirai go around Teru despite their trust- so he won’t let Mirai around Tiara either.) “I’ll have to ask.”

“How old is she?”

“Like.. five.” probably.

“Is she your little sister?”

“Hmm.. not quite, she’s..” What is he supposed to say? A supernatural he takes care of? “She’s my cousin, but I watch over her a lot. She’s basically my sister at this point, or at least I see her as one.”

“Is she niiiice?”

“Sometimes. She doesn’t like to share, though.”

“What does she like to play?”

“I’ve brought her play-doh a few times, she likes to play with that.”

“Can she make castles with it?”

“Hmm, she can, but she prefers to make food.”

“Can she-”

“That’s enough quizzing him, princess~ you’re going to tire him out. Aoi can’t think of more than two things at once or his brain will start to melt.” Teru comes back and picks Tiara up, placing her in a baby seat that he brought over. “I hope she didn’t pry too much into your personal life~”

“Reminds me of someone..” the clock keeper shrugs, “Sounds just like her brother.”

“I don’t pry into your personal life.” Teru hums before sitting in front of him. “Ah, have you tried any of the jelly rolls yet?”

“I’ve never had them,” Akane reaches over for one. “Are they good? Has Minamoto-kouhai made them before? There’s five here.. You must really like these.”

“Oh, no~ I got one for you, me, Tiara,” the exorcist points at them as he speaks, “Kou, aaaand Mirai.”

“You got one for Mirai?”

“Mhm! Couldn’t leave her out. I know how much you love to give her all your food~” he lets his cheek rest on his palm, taking a bite out of his pastry. “Mmh~ these are good, you should bring us here more often.”

“We only came here because you weren’t watching your little sister.” Akane playfully rolls his eyes, eating a bit of his jelly roll as well. “Yeah.. these are good, you’re right.”

“It’s nice to try something new every once in a while, isn’t it?”

“..it can be.”

They’re both smiling at each other. The morning sun shines through the window, as their table is right beside it- it’s warm in the bakery. It’s calming and quiet. Neither of them are saying anything, but there’s some sort of understanding between them. Neither of them are sure what it is, but they’re sure it’s comforting.

Teru is Akane’s safe place. It’s not like Akane doesn’t feel safe anywhere else, but he feels best when he’s with Teru- he doesn’t need sweets to distract him when Teru’s doing it just fine without even trying, even despite his playful teasing. He forgets about all the worries and bad people he’s come across. He forgets about his future when he’s around him.

He wonders if Teru feels the same way, too.

(Akane is Teru’s peace. He just doesn’t know it yet. Will he even live long to find out the answer?)

“Ah, you’ve got a little something on your face.. hold still, Aoi~”

“Huh? What are you..”

Teru reaches over with his free hand, wiping a few crumbs off the boy’s face. He’s doing it with such care and his hands are surprisingly soft for an exorcist; Akane expected them to be a lot rougher. He can feel his face begin to warm up.

“As thanks for giving me your scarf.” Teru winks at him. His hand slides back down. “It’s nice to pay you back.”

Akane’s heart skips a beat.

“..you could have just handed me a napkin, president.”

“What’s the fun in that?”

“Tch.. you’re ridiculous.”

“You love it.”

“I do not..” he rolls his eyes before making eye contact.

Now would be a perfect time to confess. Though Tiara is sitting right there, she’s too busy eating her jelly roll to pay attention to them- she wouldn’t mind anyway, she doesn’t understand relationships and such. Plus, she said it herself; Teru really likes Akane, or something along those lines. Akane just doesn’t know how to bring it up. He’s confessed to someone else tons of times in the past, but those never meant anything to him or the person he confessed to. So this feels somewhat new to him. He’s going to try anyway. He’ll only live once, after all- and it’s not for a long time.

“Minamoto-kaichou,” he starts, “can I tell you something?”

“Hm? Ah, of course, what is it?”

“Do you..” he’s cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. (Fuck. he wants to mutter, Great, okay- whatever. I can still do this after.) He reaches over for his phone.

“Who’s calling you?”

“It’s just..” he squints, “oh, it’s my mom.” he blinks. “Oh. It’s my mom.” the color practically drains from his face. He’s not about to answer a call from her in front of Teru- and especially not in front of Tiara. He doesn’t know how someone so young would react to that phone call.

“Ah..” Teru sits up straight, adjusting his posture. “Would you like to go answer it outside for a moment?”

“Uhm,” Akane mumbles, “No, no- it’s fine.” he assures, putting on an awkward smile. Though Teru can see right through him. “I should probably get going.”

“Huh? Akane is leaving so soon?” Tiara watches as he frantically gets up. “Does that mean Tiara can take his seat? Oh! Where’s Akane going? Can Tiara come with?”

“No, princess.. you can’t go with him.” Teru stands up as well, swiftly wrapping one of the jelly rolls up and handing it to Akane.

“I didn’t tell her I was going out.” Akane whispers to him. “It’s.. best if I just go now so I don’t let the anger build up,”

“That’s alright,” it’s a shame to see the exorcist’s smile fade away; knowing it’s his fault- Akane feels a bit guilty when he knows he shouldn’t. “Stay safe on your way there. Call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you for the sweets.” Akane turns to Tiara. “I’ll let you know when Mirai can talk to you, okay? Thank you for the knowledge on your brother as well.” Teru glances at her. He doesn’t know what she was talking about. “Alright, see you around, president.”

“See you around.”

Akane goes back home with the jelly roll he was given. He makes sure to save it for Mirai so he can give it to her the next time he goes to their boundary.

And after a mess with his parents, he’s finally free to relax in his room. In silence.

He hates that.

The silence isn’t really silence anymore. It’s just his thoughts poking at him with no mercy. He’d kill to have an actual moment of silence. He just wants his head to be quiet for once. He gets it- he’s going to die. He’s running out of time. If he doesn’t confess soon, what’s going to happen? Is Teru going to date another? Is their relationship going to go to shambles if he does? All that annoying stuff.

He puts his pillow over his head. He can hear his parents downstairs. They won’t shut up now that they’re home. He’s tired as always. They aren’t making this any easier.

He takes a nap. Teru says those are always good for when you’re stressed, and surprisingly that cocky bastard is right. Maybe it’s not so surprising.

He dreams that a donut falls on his head and he collapses onto the ground. It’s decent. At least it’s not Teru again.

He’ll confess some other time. It’s fine.

(He has 11 months left.)

Chapter Text

It’s February 14th.

How fun! It’s the day of love; the day where girls get the boys they like sweets to express their feelings, the day guys get their girlfriends tons of flowers as a way to show appreciation- it’s the perfect day to confess, both men and women alike. It’s such a happy holiday.

And while Akane hates a lot of things, most holidays included, he hates Valentine’s Day especially.

No, it’s not because he’s had terrible luck with girls- or with one girl in particular. It’s not because he struggles and can’t confess to someone else himself like some sort of loser. It just seems.. boring to him. The idea of a day dedicated to love seems terrible. Giving gifts to the one you love just on one day.. What's the fun in that? If people really wanted to, they could give their partner gifts on any other day- or everyday, actually. Why just save it for one day out of the entire year? Why not show affection everyday? He doesn’t see the point.

Well, mostly because he rarely gets anything. It’s kind of awkward.

It’s probably because he doesn’t have many friends, so he isn’t surprised all that much. He’s only dated Lemon (and it was for a day, nonetheless..), so it’s not like he really minds. No one’s going to get a stranger a gift for Valentine’s Day, that’s just weird. He’s gotten small cards from Aoi every other year- but this time she just wasn’t up for it, it seemed. They were always platonic anyway. She never returned his feelings. (Did he even have any for her to begin with? He’s come to realize he never really did.) It’s oh well, honestly. He doesn’t want a bunch of people to confess to him, and he doesn’t want to confess either.

Except he does. He does want to confess.

This year is different, or at least it should be. He has feelings for someone new, and definitely wants to tell that certain someone about them. (Also considering it’s his last year being alive.. he sort of has to make this day worthwhile. He has to make every day that way.) He wants to make this Valentine’s Day go a bit more smoothly because of those feelings.

And so, he’s making chocolates at five in the morning.

His parents are out of the picture. He doesn’t know where they are, and he doesn’t care either. He doesn’t have to hear yelling so early in the morning, so it works out. Plus, he gets to be up at terrible hours and does whatever he wants. Today’s a special day anyway, he has to be up early- usually he would have planned this in advance, as he’s a very organized person when it comes to scheduling- but time’s been passing by way too quickly. He didn’t even realize it was February until someone mentioned asking their partner to go out for dinner on Valentine’s Day.

He carefully takes his tray of chocolates out of his freezer. The sweets are in little heart shapes.. It’s so ridiculously cheesy. He doesn’t know how to feel about it.

(Does Minamoto-kaichou even like these? He wonders, I’ve heard him talk about liking chocolate before, but it was when Minamoto-kouhai made them for him. My chocolate won’t be nearly as good as his.. he’s like a professional at cooking and baking, isn’t he? He shakes his head. Well, I can’t make mine exactly like his. I don’t want to, either. I’m making these myself for a reason. If I wanted to, I could’ve just bought some from the corner store. He blinks. I should’ve just bought some from the corner store..)

He lets out a small sigh. He’s worried, and that’s no secret- he doesn’t want Teru to have to take something he doesn’t like. Akane hates the feeling of disapproval. He hates rejection. The day of love is also the day Teru receives over tons and tons of letters, as well as sweets and flowers alike- Akane glances down at his own gifts.

(Why am I even doing this?)

He carefully takes the chocolates out of the container, putting them in a small heart shaped box. He doesn’t actually get why he’s doing this. He’s made Valentine’s Day gifts before, but for a girl who didn’t really care for them. He didn’t care all that much either, no matter how much he pretended he did.

He closes up the box afterward, tying a little ribbon to keep it that way. It’s cute. It’s not really his thing, honestly. He just wants it to seem more presentable. He reaches for a pen and paper he got earlier, thinking of what to write. A detailed and organized confession on how he feels? A short yet sweet note, instead? Or maybe a basic request for a date?

He shakily holds his pen in his hands. His grip is deadly, and so the ink begins to spill all over the paper. He lets out a small gasp in surprise, watching as the tip from his pen drips down- the black ink getting on his hands as well. He’s underestimated his strength more than usual recently. He feels weak because he knows he’s going to die- but his body doesn’t seem that way at all. He feels perfectly healthy. There’s nothing wrong with his body.

(He doesn’t know how he’s going to die and it’s extremely worrying. Everything is so worrying. Why is everything so hard all of a sudden? The weight of his thoughts are crashing down on him so suddenly.)

He drops his pen, staring down at the mess. It’s nightmare fuel for a little kid. For a second, it makes him freeze up. (Maybe when he was younger, he would’ve feared punishment a little more than his hands dripping in black ink. It’s why he doesn’t like using pens. He thought it’d be a good idea for a special occasion, as he wanted the note to look nice- but his memories don’t agree. His mind is currently a mess. Why is he even remembering this? He just wants to make a gift for his crush, but things never seem to go his way- especially not his thoughts. He’s overthinking every little thing.) He shakes his head with an upset groan. It’s just something he dwells to clean, nothing more than that. It won’t give him nightmares, he’s too old for that sort of thing. He has something else he has to focus on.

He washes the ink off in his sink, making sure his hands are spotless before he gets a pencil and a new piece of paper instead. It’s not as fancy as a pen, but it’s fine. It works at least, he can actually write with it without accidentally ruining his letter.

He stares down at it.

His mind is blank. He doesn’t know what to write at all. What if his words don’t make sense? It’s so difficult to organize his current thoughts- they’re all over the place. He wants to tell Teru he likes him in a romantic context, yet wants to say he doesn’t want to think that way at all. He hates liking Teru that way, it’s probably something he should mention- but that’s not good, then Teru will think it’s him professing his undying hatred instead of love. Maybe he should just keep the confession, then? It won’t be honest that way, though. Well, it would- but not honest enough. It’s not all of Akane’s feelings.

He ends up just writing a very small ‘I love you’ before quickly scribbling it out. He covers his face with his hands, letting out a tired sigh.

He’s so frustrated.

This is absolutely pointless.

What’s the actual point in confessing, anyway? Teru will receive tons of other confessions today. How will Akane’s be any different? It’s basic, it doesn’t feel special. It’s the classic chocolate and letter confession; Akane won’t feel special. Why did he choose to confess on Valentine’s Day? Sure, it’s a nice day to confess- maybe to everybody but Teru Minamoto, the most popular guy in their school. He feels so stupid. Teru’s not going to want to go out with him like this. Akane pauses for a moment.

Does Akane even want to go out with him?

He entangles his hands in his hair, messing it up completely. He throws out his letter, fixes himself up as quickly as possible, and then shoves the chocolate container in his bag. He’s giving up on confessing so soon. Maybe he’ll give Aoi the chocolates instead as a yearly tradition, or maybe he can just give them to Teru and say Aoi didn’t want them.

He pushes it back for later and rushes to make sure he doesn’t get to school late. His parents would be upset, and he already has enough on his plate- he doesn’t need any more of their degrading scolding.

He glances at Aoi’s house as he stumbles outside. The more he thinks about it, the more he regrets making chocolate instead of getting ready- he usually walks to school with her every morning at the exact same time (as he’s always followed a schedule, he can’t function too well without it- though he’d add changes for other people if needed), but he’s been slipping up. He walks to school later than usual, and so she probably already left with someone else. She hates walking to school alone, and he knows that. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and leave her behind.

Though his question from earlier dwells in his mind. He can’t focus on Aoi when there’s someone else he can’t stop thinking about.

He doesn’t know what he wants from Teru. He doesn’t know what he wants with him, either.

A romantic relationship? Though he’s scared of getting attached (even more attached than he already is), he wants to receive love and affection. But he also wants to curse Teru out sometimes. That damn exorcist is ruining his thoughts and being the only thing on his mind for hours to come. Akane hates it.

Despite the pent up anger he has towards Teru, all the signs lead up to him clearly being in love. Akane knows this.

He also knows he hates loving him.

Because of this- he doesn’t know the answer. Maybe he wants to confess and move on? Does he really want to date Teru? Would dating Teru for less than a year even make this any better? Would it make his short time worthwhile? That’s what makes this so difficult.

He clutches onto the straps of his backpack. All these thoughts of his are tiring him out. He only got a few hours of sleep, and this is what he has to deal with.

(He trips on a rock on his way to school. He mentally blames it on Teru for infecting his thoughts. Maybe, just maybe- he would have seen the rock if there was something else in his head.)

Akane doesn’t see Teru throughout the school day at all. He doesn’t see Aoi, either- though he has a pretty good idea on why. She probably doesn’t want to get bombarded with love letters and tons of weird guys asking her out. Teru’s probably being crowded somewhere- he doesn’t know, but that sounds the most believable.

He still has his chocolates in his bag. They haven’t melted yet due to the cold weather, but he wishes they would have. He doesn’t even want to give them to anyone anymore. It’s not like anyone would want them anyway, and he definitely doesn’t want to eat them himself, as that would be plain embarrassing and pathetic of him. But he doesn’t want to throw them out, either- maybe he can sell them to some guy who forgot to get his angry girlfriend a gift?

The school day is already over. He hasn’t gotten a single thing; he doesn’t really mind. It makes this Valentine’s Day just like the rest- and maybe it’s better that way. He likes to do things he’s used to. (It’s strange given his personality-changing behavior. How can someone fear change, yet be so dedicated to doing it when it comes to others?)

He looks up at the sky. It’s probably going to snow while he walks home; the clouds are beginning to collect together and turn a gloomy shade of gray. Maybe it’ll rain, instead? Either way, he isn’t looking forward to the weather. He hates being cold. He has the school’s winter uniform on, accompanied by a cardigan- but it isn’t enough.

“Tch..” he holds his hand out and watches as a snowflake hits his hand. He was right. He lets out a small groan before taking a step forward, beginning to walk out of the school.

His shoes crunch into the snow from previous nights. He watches as they sink into it, covering them in the cold substance. He then looks up, a sudden feeling coming over him.

He can feel eyes on his back.

Okay, this is definitely strange. This has never happened on any other Valentine’s Day.

He looks around, yet there’s no one in sight. Everyone has already left or is inside the school doing club activities with their friends. There shouldn’t be anyone outside right now, anyway. The sun is going to set soon.

But he knows he’s being watched.

He reaches for his clock nervously. He doesn’t know who it might be or what they might want from him. It doesn’t feel like just anyone stalking him- the stare is cold and threatening, as if the person wants to hurt him. (It feels like it’s stabbing through his chest, reaching inside him. It wants to take all he has, but Akane doesn’t have much left to give. He’ll have nothing.)

He looks ahead of him.

He’s going to make a run for it. He prepares himself, taking a deep breath or two to try and have the stamina to run back home. If he trips, it’s all over for him. If he runs out of breath and has to stop, then that’s it for his life.

(He doesn’t know what he’s running from. Is there someone actually there? Or is he just paranoid? Maybe he’s crazy?)

He clenches his fists; it’s better safe than sorry given his lifespan- it doesn’t matter if there’s someone really there or not. What if his life is cut short? He won’t die on Valentine’s Day, that’s so inconvenient.. And it can be embarrassing if it’s assumed to be for a different reason. He didn’t get any gifts, after all- he doesn’t wanna risk embarrassing himself even after death.

He tells himself he’ll run on the count of three.

Three.

More and more snow is slowly beginning to fall onto the ground, some flakes even land into his hair. He doesn’t really like the snow. It’s better than rain, but it’s not better than sunshine. He would take a sunny day over this instantly.

Two.

The breeze is beginning to get warmer, though- it's the final month of winter. Next month it’ll be March- and spring will begin. His favorite season is autumn, but he likes spring too.

One.

Will he even get to live until then? He doesn’t know anything about this lifespan mess. He doesn’t really want to learn more, but he probably has to if he wants to do anything with his life.

And-

“Aoi!”

“Huh?” he turns around quickly, “president? What are you doing out here?”

“Aha, hold on.. Give me a moment..”

“You’re panting.. Are you feeling okay?” he rushes towards the exorcist, putting a hand on his forehead. (Was Teru the one watching him? No, it couldn’t have been- Teru’s gaze is softer. Teru doesn’t want to hurt him, at least not intentionally.. or genuinely. It doesn’t matter. Now that Teru’s here, the stare is gone.) “You’re burning up- what are you doing out in this weather? And running, nonetheless? You need to go back home.” he huffs, “You’re clearly sick.. go ask Minamoto-kouhai to make you a warm soup. He needs to take your temperature as well.. You probably need to take a few days off of school.” he forgets not everyone has his terrible immune system, sometimes. He forgets not everyone will die as fast as he will. “Are you even listening?”

“Aoi..”

“Yes?” he narrows his eyes at Teru. He’s holding a bunch of Valentine’s Day gifts- cards, letters, chocolate, flowers.. anything a teenage girl could want to receive from her boyfriend. Some of the stuff is actually falling out of his hands. “What is it?”

“Do you have a valentine?”

“..excuse me?”

“I asked,” Teru takes a deep breath in. Akane lets his hand slip down and rest back at his side. He stares at Teru in amusement- the boy is sick and freezing, yet asking about valentines? Teru sure was interesting. “If you have a valentine.”

“Uhm..” Akane pushes up his glasses with one hand, tilting his head in slight confusion. “No, I don’t. Why do you ask?” His mind then goes to the worst possible scenario. “Oh, never mind- I get it. Are you trying to show off the amount of people who asked you to be their valentine today? Congratulations to you, but I don’t really care for Valentine’s Day.” he scoffs, “If you came running to me about this while sick just to make fun of me.. I think you’re the one who should feel embarrassed.”

“Eh??~” Teru lets out a small whine in front of him, “I’m not here to make fun of you.”

“Shocking. What are you here for, then? We have a lot of extra work for the student council because Fuji-kun has been getting sick non-stop. He already got you sick.. so I’m not gonna risk getting sick either. I can take my work home if you want me to, but I’m not doing all of yours-”

“This isn’t about the student council, no need to worry about that right now.” Teru coughs into his elbow. “It’s..”

“You need to go home, Minamoto-kaichou.” Akane frowns. (For once, he’s the one interrupting- a shocking change. Though he realizes how worried he actually sounds. He’s making his feelings obvious again, isn’t he?) “If you stay out here in the cold weather, you’ll get even sicker.. which I definitely do not care about, by the way- I just don’t want to get sick myself.” (wow, great save. As if that helped his case at all.)

“I’m not sick.”

“Have you heard your voice? Like, at all?”

“..aha, okay~ well,” the exorcist clears his throat, “I’m not that sick. Just a bit!”

“Whatever, a little sick or not.. you need to get some rest or else you’ll be stuck like that.”

“But I wanted to ask you something.”

“Which is?” Akane raises an eyebrow, “Get to the point before I drag you to your place myself. I don’t want to just stand out here in the cold, I need to get home and do some chores-”

“Will you be my valentine, Aoi?”

“..what?”

“I asked if-”

“N-No, I mean-” he flusters up, covering his mouth in shock. (Is this real? He thinks to himself, Maybe I didn’t wake up this morning- that’s why this is happening. Am I in heaven already? What killed me? The lack of sleep? The grade on last week’s language test?) “Are you being serious?”

“Why would I not be?”

“Because.. that is a weird thing to ask me of all people.” he mutters, “Is this a joke? Are you poking fun at me for not getting Ao-chan as my valentine, or something?” That's what his paranoia is telling him. It’s not that he doesn’t want to believe it, he just can’t believe it. He didn’t even ask Aoi to be his this year, but Teru doesn’t know that.

“Eh??” Teru lets out another whine, “I didn’t even mention Akane-san-” he sneezes violently in between his sentences, to which Akane reacts by taking several steps away from him. “Do you not want to be my valentine? What are you backing away for?” he frowns. “That’s awfully rude of you, I would have just taken a ‘no’ for an answer, but I expect nothing less from my vice president. You wound me, Aoi..”

“I didn’t say no, I’m just- surprised? And I don’t wanna get sick.. so stay over there.” the clock keeper keeps his distance. “But anyway, why are you asking me? I can tell that a bunch of people have already asked you out, I mean- look at your arms!” he rambles. His voice is quick; Teru can barely grasp onto what he’s even saying. “Are you sure this isn’t some sort of joke? Because if it is- I’m going straight home!”

“It’s not a joooke..” the other sniffles and wipes his nose with his sleeve. (Gross. That is definitely not sanitary whatsoever.) “Could you just tell me yes or no?”

“I.. I mean, sure?”

“You sound hesitant.”

“I’m just confused.”

“Don’t be~ give me a second,” he kneels down to shove all of his gifts inside his school bag. They barely fit, and the poor thing looks like it's about to burst. “If I could just..” he mumbles, still trying to stuff everything in.

(It doesn’t make Akane feel good. He doesn’t like that so many other people are chasing after Teru- because in the end, he’ll lose to someone else. Maybe a second year who has pretty long hair and can sing, or a different first year who can cook and bake for Teru whenever he needs them to. Now that he thinks about it, Akane doesn’t even know if Teru likes guys. Nothing is making this messy romance of his any better.)

“There! All done~” Teru slings his backpack back onto his shoulder before taking hold of Akane’s hand. “Come with me,”

“Where are we going?” the apparition glares at him, “I said I have to go home and-”

“I know, but you’re always doing chores!” he only receives a small, genuine smile back. (Teru knows him too well. He doesn’t want to do chores- it’s just what his parents want him to do. Sure, he loves to be clean, but he doesn’t love to clean every single day of his life.) “Won’t you take a break with me? Pleaaaase?~”

“I guess..”

“Yay~ I knew choosing you to be my valentine was the right thing to do! Come on, off we go.” and with that, Akane is being dragged along to who knows where. Well, he doesn’t mind as long as it's Teru who wants to ruin his short, miserable, teenage life. He makes the miserable part a bit less bad.

(Though Teru’s words only add to his feelings. He feels like he’s being randomly chosen in a wave of people, only by luck and nothing more. It feels.. bad. He feels like a small star who just happens to be a little too close to the beloved sun. Just a nobody. That isn’t how Teru makes him feel- it’s just how his large following does. But it’s difficult to love Teru without acknowledging his fans.)

“President, why are we in the garden? This is reserved for the gardening club only.. we shouldn’t be here, especially not after school. If anything, we should be in the student council room- can't we get in trouble for this?-”

“Don’t worry too much, Aoi! I’ve found us a great place to sit, no one will find us here~”

“You make it sound like you’re about to either kill and or exorcize me.”

“I’d never, you’re too cute to exorcize just yet~”

“Yet?”

“Yet!”

“Tch..” the two are sitting together on a bench. The sky is painted orange, pink, and purple- and the sun is slowly beginning to set. “Why don’t you want anyone to see us, anyway?” (Are you embarrassed to be my valentine? He thinks, Or is this really just some sort of sick joke to mess with my feelings? Maybe you’re trying to make me feel bad. Maybe you already know.)

“I didn’t want anyone to interrupt our time together.” Teru hums, reaching down for a flower on the ground in front of them. “And I knew someone would if we sat just anywhere.” he twirls the stem around his finger before pulling it out. He holds it in front of Akane, “Here.”

“What is this for?”

“You didn’t get any Valentine's gifts, did you?”

“..no, I didn’t.” Akane mutters, “So?”

“You could have some of mine,” the exorcist smiles at him once again. “I don’t mind,”

“Excuse me?” instead of smiling back, Akane just glares. “I’m- I’m not going to take any of your pity gifts.” though he takes the flower anyway, holding it gently in his hands- as if it’d shatter if he held it any differently. He doesn’t know whether to feel flattered or hurt over the fact that he’s being offered someone else’s things. “Keep them. They’re for you, not me.”

“Ah.. but I don’t want this many.”

“And why not?” he huffed, still assuming the worst. It was just his nature.

“I don’t like receiving all these gifts.” Teru’s smile remains, but now it seems a bit sad. “I don’t like receiving the confessions, either. It’s quite unfortunate that I have to turn down so many people, it makes me feel a bit bad..” he chuckles awkwardly. (Akane can’t tell if he’s being honest or not. If he is, now he feels absolutely terrible- guilty would be a more fitting word.) “I always share my Valentine’s Day gifts with my siblings, so I thought it’d be nice if I offered you some. But if you wouldn’t like any, that’s alright. I can see where you’re coming from.”

“..oh,” Akane clears his throat, “Sorry, I just thought-”

“I know what you thought.” the two lock eye contact. “Don’t worry.”

(Akane is worrying.)

There’s a small silence between them afterwards. It’s a bit awkward given the fact that the two are supposed to be sudden valentines or something along those lines. They’re just hanging out, this isn’t a date- and both of them know that. Valentines aren’t inherently romantic even if Akane wished that were true now.

“Minamoto-kaichou,”

“Hm?”

“Is there a reason you don’t accept any of the confessions?” Akane asks, “Like.. a person you want to be with, or something? Ao-chan told me it was rumored you already had someone you liked.”

“Ah,” Teru glances over at him, “is that why you didn’t believe I wanted to be your valentine? How funny~” he sighs. “The rumors are true. There is someone I want to be with,”

“What?” the apparition looks away. “Then- then why did you ask me?” he frowns. His face scrunches up in confusion. Teru can probably hear the hurt in his voice. “You could have asked them, you know. No one could ever deny a confession from you, everyone loves you.”

“You see,” the exorcist hums, “that’s the thing. They’re the only one who doesn’t.”

“Someone who doesn’t love you? That’s pretty hard to believe..”

“Unfortunately, it’s true.” he leans back, “The one person I’m chasing after is the one person who will never return my feelings. It’s alright, honestly. I don’t have the time for love, anyway. You must know what that’s like, don’t you?” he pauses, “Ah, never mind.. You and Akane-san..”

“I never really liked her,”

“..eh?”

“Not- not that I hated her, or anything!” Akane blurts out, “Just.. not romantically. I’ve realized and I’ve come to terms with it.. it’s just a tradition I never wanted to give up, I guess.” he shrugs, “so maybe you're right. Maybe I don’t have the time for that sort of thing.. I should focus on something else.”

“Aoi,” Teru hums, “is there someone else you wanted to be your valentine, this year?” He changes the topic. Akane doesn’t know if he’s grateful or not.

“Someone else?”

“You don’t sound too pleased to be my valentine, so I’m just a bit curious. Did you want to be with someone else?”

“President..” The clock keeper moves his backpack so it's on his lap. He unzips it and reaches inside. He can see the chocolates clearly; his fingers are brushing over the box he put them inside. He has to admit it while he has the chance. He prays the chocolates he made are still good- since he put a lot of unnecessary effort into them. It’d be a waste to just give up now. He changes his mind. He’s found a perfect moment to confess. “No, I-”

“Minamoto-senpai!”

“Ah.. Yashiro-san,” Teru forces an awkward smile, “Hello, is there anything you need?”

(Great, Akane sighs, I just never get the chance to tell you how I feel, do I? This is the second time someone’s interrupted my confession.. first it was my own mother, and now it’s Yashiro-san? I can stand her, but after this- maybe I’ll have to change my mind.. I rarely get the courage to tell you what I really think about you, so interruptions push it back immensely..)

“My friend Hirose-chan would like to talk to you!” Nene pushes her friend in Teru’s direction. The girl takes his hand and drags him away, asking to speak to him in private- leaving Nene with Akane. Akane hates it.

“..hello, Yashiro-san.” he mutters.

“Hello, Akane-kun!” Nene smiles at him. She’s so unbelievably cheerful and energetic. It’s currently pissing him off. (How can she be so happy when he’s miserable? It’s not fair. He wants everyone to feel the way he does. If he feels terrible, then everyone else should be crying and rolling over too.) “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“So, who’s your valentine this year?” she sits beside him, her legs swinging back at forth as she smiles at him. She’s a very sweet girl- Akane sees her as a friend. She doesn’t mean any harm, she just so happened to ruin his mood and their moment. “Did Aoi say yes? How many points did you get today?”

“I didn’t ask her,”

“You didn’t!” she gasps, “What? Whyyy? What happened? Did you two fight?”

“No.. I just- didn’t feel like it this year.”

“That’s weird.. you ask her every year!” she frowns, “Are you sure nothing happened between you two?”

“I’m sure.”

“Oh.. well, I hope someone else asks to be your valentine!” she gives him a thumbs up, “I actually came over here with Hirose-chan because I wanted to ask if you could give me advice, actually.. Ehehe, since you’re so good at asking Aoi every year.. I wanted to know how to have your confidence and do the same.”

Akane blinks.

“There’s this cute boy I like, he’s about this tall, and he has pretty brown hair, and green eyes! Short boys aren’t usually my type, but he’s great boyfriend materi- hey, where are you going?”

“I’m going home.”

“Huh?”

“My parents need me home. Also, I’m sick.” he forces a cough. He can hear Teru being confessed to not so far away from him. It makes his heart wrench. So much for being his valentine- the girl talking to him is very pretty and popular. He knows because she’s gotten a lot of attention that day so far. “Tell Minamoto-kaichou I left. Tell him I wasn’t feeling good, or something- that his dumb cold rubbed off on me. I don’t know.”

“Oh, okay.. I’ll do that for you. Feel better, Akane-kun!”

(And for once, he’s glad Nene is oblivious as hell. She doesn’t question his excuse. He doesn’t want to give advice when he can’t even fix his own love life.. it’s absolutely terrible.)

He shoves his chocolates in his fridge when he gets home. Maybe one of his parents will eat them and not care who it might belong to. He doesn’t want them. Teru probably doesn't want them, either. He said it himself; he doesn’t like receiving gifts and confessions because he hates to turn people down. So Akane will just keep his mouth shut.

It’s a shame. So much for making this Valentine’s Day different. Even if Teru was his valentine, it didn’t exactly feel that way. Teru has tons of other people wanting to be his valentine, Akane would feel selfish if he took Teru for himself, anyway.

The only thing that actually changed is the weird stare he felt on his back. He could feel it when he went back home, but he disregarded it instead of running off- the first time, nothing happened. He’d be fine. Though he’s still wondering who it might have been, it isn’t important to him right now- he has love problems to focus on.

(He has 10 months left.)

Chapter Text

On March 31st, sometime around two in the morning- Akane realizes he has a lot of trouble sleeping.

He thinks it might be because of the sudden weather change, as it’s officially spring- there’s been more rain than usual. He’s starting to think he misses the snow.

Winter was a very difficult season for him, though. He was casually told he was going to die, after all- he spent two whole months worrying about how it’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen; the list goes on. He was able to hide it just fine, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t still scared out of his mind. He hasn’t been able to focus normally like everyone else.

Maybe it’s a good thing winter is over. He still needs to make things last while they can, spring can be a new start for him. Maybe he’ll get over his hatred for the rain? Maybe he’ll find a new hobby he likes? Maybe a confession will go well for once?

He can’t see the positives in his lifespan, obviously- as there’s nothing good that from dying young, but he can definitely try to (force himself) when it comes to something as simple as the seasons changing.

The sun will shine brighter, at least. He won’t be so cold all the time. He doesn’t need to wear fifty layers in his own home, and he won’t feel colder just by looking at Teru wearing a short-sleeved fruit themed shirt while he’s covered from head to toe in snow.

Teru’s always around to lend him his umbrella, anyway. The exorcist pops out of nowhere with a smile and puts it over the two; it’s oddly convenient (and a bit cliche, but Akane won’t admit that). Sometimes he even offers his sweater, though Akane denies while flustered. He doesn't know how Teru hasn’t noticed his feelings yet.

But sometimes the way Teru acts makes it seem like he does. Sometimes he makes it seem like he feels the same.

Akane smiles a bit. His cheeks get all red and his chest feels a bit fuzzy. Thinking of Teru always gets him that way- he’s never felt so cheesy over someone, not even for the girl he thought he loved. It’s only gotten this bad for Teru.

It’s not actually that bad, though. Sometimes the fuzzy feelings are good. Sometimes his heart will pound and the adrenaline of confessing will get to his head- distracting him from all his worries and just making him think about silly things. Like going on a date with Teru at a haunted house, or being ridiculous romantics at a mall during the summer. (Just a month ago he didn’t even know if he wanted to go out with Teru- and he still doesn’t know. Either way, he can still want romantic things with him, right? He can still deny it all he wants for the sake of his already deteriorating ego..)

His eyes flutter shut as his mind begins to wander.

Maybe he can make the light out of a few things if he tries hard enough.

That sounds about right.

He can do it.

Oh, and of course- and he’s also 99% sure he can’t sleep because of his parents yelling downstairs. That’s probably a key factor as well.

They will not shut up. It's currently driving him crazy.

He has his pillow over his head, though he can still make out their muffled voices and sentences. ‘You never do anything to help around’ this, or, ‘You don’t even talk to me anymore’ that. It’s not like he wants to listen to their argument, he’s already done his best to tune them out- as that’s what he’s done for a majority of his life, yet they manage to be louder than the thoughts in his own head. (Which is saying a lot, because those thoughts of his don’t shut up. But it’s not like his parents do, either.) While they’re arguing over their marriage that has been falling apart for over ten years, his own thoughts are fighting to the death. It’s pretty ironic to say death when it comes to Akane, though. They are quite literally fighting to the death and will be until he finally dies. Sometimes he hopes it’s sooner so he can have peace and quiet.

He sleepily raises his head from under his pillow, reaching over for his phone and glancing through his contacts.

He remembers what Teru said in January.

“You know where to find me when you have trouble sleeping late at night.”

And he was right. He does know where to find him.

He sends Teru a quick message.

> going to the meadow, dunno if you're up though. go back to bed if my message woke you up

And he receives one back in a matter of a few seconds.

> i’m up already! see u there aoi! (＠＾◡＾) tell me all abt it when u get hereeee ♪

(He can’t help but smile at the stupid emoticons Teru likes to send him. He always uses them when texting- but they don’t text each other very often unless it's for school purposes. They both prefer to talk in person. Akane thinks maybe it’s better that way- if he falls into the habit of sending Teru good morning and goodnight messages every single day, then he’s gotten far too desperate for a boy who wears pineapple sweaters and the most atrocious shorts because he thinks they look nice..)

He glances at his bedroom door. His parents haven’t stopped, so he can’t go downstairs or he’ll somehow end up wrapped in their argument.

And so, Akane decides to climb out through his window. He likes being on the second floor, but climbing down every once or twice a month is a hassle- especially when a branch catches his sleeve and leaves a small gash on his arm. He lets out a wince of pain before just brushing it off. He doesn’t care. He just wants a bit of silence.

He glances up at his open window once he lands on the ground. It doesn’t sound like the yelling will calm down any time soon. He sighs before walking off.

“Good morning, Aoi~”

“Morning.”

The two accidentally discovered a meadow behind an abandoned park together a while ago. Now it’s where they both hang out at ungodly hours when neither of them are sleeping.

About five months ago Teru insisted they went trick-or-treating together as it was one of his very few days off. Kou was out with Nene, and Tiara went with Fairy since she insisted she was old enough. Teru seemed unhappy to be all alone, Akane could tell- he didn’t want to leave him that way. And so, he reluctantly agreed. It was around midnight when Teru dragged him to a completely deserted children’s park- the two were walking around when Teru playfully pushed him into a bush because he seemed on edge with the dark. Somehow that playful push resulted in him falling at a very rapid rate- at which he thought he would die before his body softly hit a flower bed. Teru jumped down soon after realizing the bush led to somewhere. He looked worried before he heard Akane complain about a headache. Perhaps he felt guilty for potentially hurting him? Akane didn’t know. He was so out of it. He can remember it all clearly, though- it’s a bit sad to reminisce on these types of memories. One day he won’t come back to the meadow ever again.

The meadow is important to them. It’s an unspoken rule that they don’t tell anybody else about this place- they don’t bring anyone else, either. Whatever happens in the meadow stays in the meadow. Whatever is said stays between them, whatever is done stays between them- and so forth.

It’s not just special to them, it’s their special place. It’s peaceful, it’s relaxing- something neither of them get in their lives. They have to do their best to keep it that way.

“So, what’s going on this time?”

“The usual.”

“Spring exams? You’ll do just fine on them,” Teru hums, “you always do~ we can make one of those fun bets again if it makes you feel better enough to go back to bed? You need enough rest to do well even with all that studying of yours.”

“..I’m good, you always end up winning and I get tied up somehow. I’m surprisingly not worried about that stuff right now,” Akane sighs. Not even Teru’s soft, tired voice is enough to get him to smile. Neither of them have slept normally in days. “It’s the other usual today.”

“Ah, I see..”

He sits beside the exorcist in the grass. As routine, Teru puts his hand on top of the other’s, holding onto it carefully. Their hands aren’t intertwined, and their fingers aren’t interlocked- it’s just a mutual agreement that neither of them will go further unless provoked. Though neither of them will ever cry, (They don’t have to cry often is the better way to word it. Akane has cried more times than he can count in private over dumb things- he bottles everything up until one minor inconvenience happens and he completely breaks down. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Teru cry- but he’s come close to it once or twice.) and so neither of them go further.

“No luck sleeping tonight then, huh?”

“Nope.” Akane brushes his hands over the flowers with his free hand. “What about you? Why are you up?”

“The usual as well.”

“I figured as much.” he hums, “I have a few bandaids in my pocket. I couldn’t bring any bandages, I was too tired to bring a bag.. any injuries you want me to take care of? I can take care of them properly if you come to the student council room early tomorrow.”

“It was nothing too bad tonight. Only weak supernaturals are out during this time of season, I’ve already completed my duties.” Teru glances over at their hands. “..could I have a bandaid, though?”

“I offered, stupid. Yeah, you can have one.” the clock keeper reaches into his pocket, “How many do you need?”

“Just one,”

“One?” he raises an eyebrow, “President.. You never come back with just one injury,” he pulls only one bandaid out anyway. “Where’s the wound? I need to know if it’s bad or not. I can go back home, and..”

“It’s not for me~” Teru takes it from his hands. “I just need one. Don’t worry so much~”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You’ll see,” he flashes Akane a smile before letting go of his hand. Akane watches as Teru unwraps the bandaid before carefully putting it on his arm- putting a light pressure on it so it wouldn’t come off. The exorcist then lifts his hand and plants a soft kiss on the top of it. “There,”

“..huh?” Akane’s face visibly flushes up. “What was that for?”

“A kiss to make you better.” Teru chuckles softly. His voice is always quiet when they’re at the meadow; it’s comforting and he knows it very well. “You need to be more careful, Aoi. You got this while climbing out your window, didn’t you? You’re so clumsy~”

“Okay, first of all.. I don’t need a kiss for that. A bandaid would have been enough.” the apparition huffs, though he doesn’t retract his arm. (Mentally he’s freaking out, but his body is too tired to show that- and his thoughts feel foggy anyway. Not to mention- Teru does that to everyone, or at least those who provoke it- though he’s noticed usually it’s an attempt to distract a girl or two who’s into him so he can go back to doing work. Maybe it’s a bit different when it comes to Akane? It has to be.) “Second of all.. Yeah, I did- but it’s not that bad or anything. It just stung a little- and third of all.. I’m not clumsy.”

“I thought we agreed you weren’t going to go out of your window anymore?” Teru went back to holding that hand. “We both know you’re terrible at climbing~”

“It’s not that I’m terrible at it, my shoes just aren’t sturdy enough.. and it was worse than usual. I would’ve snuck out through my front door if I could, you know that. I hate getting dirty climbing down that tree anyway.”

“Would you like to stay at my place for a bit?” he lies down so he faces the sky instead. Akane does the same, his back pressing against the cold grass. It’s tickling his face; the flowers are embracing his skin and body. It feels like heaven when he’s here. There’s no loud cars that are giving him a headache, no fighting parents that make him wonder how they’re still married, no piles of school work- it’s just him and Teru. (And he likes it that way. Just him and Teru- it sounds nice. The idea of them just being alone together is calming.) “That way, you can sleep at least for a little bit.” Teru gives his hand a light squeeze.

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.” Akane stares up at the stars. They’re far from home here- but it’s where he feels the safest. The pollution isn’t enough to hide the beautiful light. “My parents would just be more upset. Don’t you remember what happened in January?”

“I do.” Teru clicks his tongue, “I was just wondering. Can’t have my vice president falling asleep during our meetings~”

“I don’t do that.” Akane huffs. “I never have. I’d never fall asleep during school,”

“Sometimes you look like you do.” He can feel Teru’s soft gaze on his face. He doesn’t mind it, though. It almost feels like Teru is admiring him- or his eyes to be more specific. But Akane can’t say anything; he loves to do the same when Teru isn’t looking. The icy blue pigment in his eyes isn't as cold as it seems. It can be warm and comforting despite the intimidation. “Any sign they might stop?”

“I don’t think so.” he hums, “This time it’s about my dad never being home, or something like that. But my mom is rarely home, too.”

“Ah, a hypocritical argument..”

“Yeah.” he clenches his free hand slightly. “I’m the only one who’s ever home. It’s always so quiet when they’re not there- but I don’t know if I like it or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I like the silence or if I like the sound.” he sighs and reaches his hand up, outstretching his palm as if he were reaching for the stars. (It’s not like he wants to touch them- but if he did, he knows he’d never be able to. It sort of reminds him of Teru, in a way. He’ll never reach Teru even if he tells himself he doesn’t want to. He’s so close, yet so far. It’s almost painful to try and chase. It is painful at times.) “Whenever it’s quiet, my head is all stressed.. but whenever it’s loud, my body feels stressed. Does that make any sense?”

“You’ve always been a bit of an overthinker,” Teru looks up at the sky. “Would you like to talk about it? Things have been pretty difficult for you, it seems~ ever since the start of this year, you’ve been so stressed.”

“Was it that obvious?”

“Mhm, it was. It still is, you look like you’re about to explode~”

“Tch.. you’re just saying that.”

“Nope, I’m being completely honest~ come on, you can’t hide things from me.”

After all, trust is what makes up the close part of their relationship. (It’s ironic considering neither of them ever talk to the other about their problems- only small slivers of their stories have been shared between each other.) Teru doesn’t know Akane’s family. He doesn’t know his story. Akane doesn’t want him to. Though it’s a bit hypocritical- Teru clearly doesn’t want to share his story either, but Akane can’t help but want to know more.

“I guess I’ve just been..” Akane hums, he knows Teru focuses on him again when he talks. He has nothing to worry about, though. It’s nothing like the cold stare from someone in the shadows he feels when he’s at school. “..thinking about things?”

“Thinking about what, Aoi?”

“Minamoto-kaichou,” he looks back. “Do you ever wonder how you’re going to die in the future?”

Teru lets go of his hand.

“..pardon?”

“Oh, well- wait, I mean..”

“What brought this up?”

“It’s not-”

“Aoi?”

“Look- it’s not what you think, I just worded that terribly..”

“No, I don’t wonder about that sort of thing. Death is.. quite the morbid topic. Are you feeling alright?”

Akane knows very well that Teru is lying to him. Trust is a vital part of their relationship, yet Teru is almost always lying- and Akane can see right through him. (Maybe the trust is one-sided? Or maybe it wasn’t even there to begin with? Maybe Akane just wants to trust him- and that’s all there is to it. It’s just a wish that won’t ever come true. Though that can’t be it if the two can both see through the other’s lies. It’s mutual.)

“I just want an honest answer from you. It’s nothing more than that,”

“Aoi,” Teru furrows his eyebrows, “Be serious.”

“I am being serious. I just- I just want to know.”

“That’s a very odd thing to ask. You are aware of that, correct?”

“I am. I know.. it sounds really bad- but believe me, it’s not- it’s not anything similar to what you’re probably thinking. I’m feeling just fine, I swear.”

Akane can feel Teru analyzing his face. It’s not like Akane is completely lying, but he is to a certain extent. He isn’t telling the full story.

“..alright.” Teru goes back to looking at the sky. “Then yes, I suppose I do think about it sometimes. Though that’s because I’m an exorcist. You know the day-to-day things I must complete for my job- they can be dangerous, they can be risky. But I don’t mind as long as it’s for the sake of what’s right. You already know my reasoning. Why are you wondering about that sort of thing? You’re safe, are you not?”

Akane is silent for a few seconds.

“Yeah.” he mumbles, “Yeah, I am.”

“Then?”

“I’m just curious about where we go when we die. Like.. what happens, I guess. Your life is so.. dangerous.” he lies, praying that Teru falls for it. He tries his best not to be obvious.

“Ah.” Teru blinks, “Is that all? You really worried me there~ aha, I was concerned for a moment,” he sits up, reaching over to ruffle Akane’s hair. “Don’t think about that now. You’re only fifteen, you have a long way to go~ unless you’re worried about me, instead?”

“..I kind of am,” Akane admits. (That’s true- now that he’s been told about his own lifespan, he’s starting to wonder about Teru’s. Though his life is more hazardous, will he survive longer? Will he die first?) “You’re only sixteen.”

“Turning seventeen in June~”

“That’s not the point,” he huffs, “And you know I’m turning sixteen in September..” he sits up, looking down at the flowers instead of making eye contact. “Just.. stay safe. I probably need to do the same. Neither of us really knows what will happen to us in the future,”

“Aoi..” Teru puts his hand over Akane’s once again, “Let’s not talk too much about death, alright? It’s clearly not a topic you can handle very well. Just know our future will be just fine. Mmh, how about we talk about..” he glances down, “the flowers instead?”

(Did he make his uneasiness too obvious? Of course he did- no matter how hard he tries, he can never truly hide his feelings from Teru. Somehow the boy can always see right through him- but Akane can do the same. Teru didn’t seem too fond about talking about death, either. Akane doesn’t want to overthink it. He doesn’t want to think Teru might die soon the same way he will.)

“The flowers?”

“Do you know anything about them?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Akane brings his knees up to his chest. He’s going along with what Teru says- the exorcist is right either way. Akane can’t handle thinking about death for too long; at least not anymore. “Their names? Their meanings? How to care for them? What season they grow best in?”

“Ah,” Teru leans forward to pick out one of the flowers from one of the nearby bushes, holding it up for the boy beside him to see. “Well, you could answer whatever you’d like. Do you know anything about this one in particular, though?”

“Well..” the apparition takes it from his hands. He can tell what sort of flower it is, but he doesn’t recognize the meaning all too well. Flowers have never exactly gotten his interest- he’s only ever learned a bit because of Aoi. (He knows she would’ve never told him herself, but she loved the meanings and often looked into them. She just never talked about it, it seemed her persona just meant too much to her.) “These are gardenias,”

“What pretty petals~”

“They are..” he tries to analyze it, but his mind goes blank. “I can’t exactly remember what they symbolize, but I know it has to do with trust.. probably.”

“Do they, now?”

“I think so,” he shrugs, “Why do you ask, though? Are you into flowers, president? You could have pointed out the stars, or the weather..”

“I’ve always wondered about them. I love gardenias, they’re quite the beauty.. they do in fact symbolize trust, but they also symbolize secret love~ it’s the only flower I’ve gotten to learn about.” Teru gives a genuine smile. (Akane makes it his goal to find out everything he can about other flowers from here on. He’ll subtly bring up the meanings while they’re alone and sitting together- that way there’s more things to talk about. He likes the silence, but he’s scared his thoughts will change that. There’s peace in the meadow now, but who knows if it’ll stay that way? He doesn’t want to find out. Also.. it’d be fun to know about something more than Teru just to show off.) “I figured you might have a little more time to research that sort of thing~ Akane-san likes those, doesn’t she?”

“I never thought of you as a flower person,” Akane hands the flower back to Teru. (Love? He wonders, Teru’s words slightly settling in his mind. Maybe I can confess with flowers.. If he’s so into these meanings, it’d be a confession he doesn’t mind as much as the rest- even if he does reject me. At least he won’t completely resent me. That’s all I want.) “And oh, yeah, I guess she does.”

“You guess? I thought you two were close,” Teru hums, “unless you two have gotten in a fight? I can’t recall the last time I’ve seen you two together.” he then denies the gardenia. “You can keep the flower~”

“Oh, no.. we aren’t in a fight or anything. Does it seem that way? I’ve just been too busy to hang out with her,” Akane tilts his head in confusion. It’s a habit, by the looks of it. “I don’t know how to take care of these, though. Aren’t flowers high maintenance? I’ve never even had a pet before.. I just take care of Mirai. I feed her some apple slices and then play house with her.. so she’s much easier compared to a plant. She doesn’t need a lot to thrive,”

“Too busy to hang out with your best friend? Ah.. you’ve changed a lot since we first met, Aoi~ you really weren’t lying when you said you weren’t into her. And do some research~ I’d love to see if you can keep it alive,”

“Did you think I was lying?” he raises an eyebrow. (It just adds to their problem. How can trust build them up when half of the time it seems like neither of them trust each other?) “I’ve just had a lot of things to do, I guess? So we haven’t really seen each other- just don’t blame me if the gardenia is a bunch of dust the next time you see it.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. I just assumed since you had so much time to spend with me~”

“Don’t even start that right now,” he huffs with a flustered face. At least Teru distracted him from the whole trust topic. “I’ll check up with her soon. She knows a lot about flowers, just like you said- I can ask her for some tips.”

“That sounds like a great idea,” Teru reaches for another flower, “maybe someday you could tell me about all of these flowers’ meanings,” he glances over with a soft smile. “Wouldn’t that be nice, Aoi?” he chuckles, “Just the two of us.. talking about flowers. It’s relaxing to get breaks with you~ I don’t mind the silence, but I do enjoy our conversations as well. It’s peaceful as long as you're here.”

Akane’s heart skips a beat.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, still holding the same gardenia. It’s a flower he’ll probably keep close to him for decades.. if he lives that long. Which he most definitely won’t- but he’ll think about it late at night and remember what happened on the last day of March. It’s ironic considering less than an hour ago he was struggling to find any sort of peace. It’s a Teru thing; the boy comes around and makes him smile, and then suddenly Akane forgets why he was upset in the first place. Of course, it’s only temporary- when he goes back home, he’ll have a pillow over his head while his parents argue over who ate the last pickle in the fridge- but it’s peaceful while it lasts. He’ll take it over nothing at all. “It’s nice,”

“Glad you agree~” Teru chuckles again. Akane loves the sound more than anything. “I didn’t think I’d be sharing that to you on a school night,”

“I didn’t think you’d share something like that at all, president..” the latter pushes up his glasses with a nervous smile. “Hey, could I.. tell you something?”

“Ah, sure~ of course,”

“I like..” he swallows nervously, “I like when we hang out, and-”

“Ah, look!” Teru interrupts him. (What the hell.. He thinks to himself, We were completely alone, yet I still got interrupted- and by him, nonetheless. Maybe it’s just not meant to be.. oh, whatever. Today would’ve been a bad day to confess anyway. I’m tired. He’s lying to himself. He just wants to get it over with at this point. He doesn’t want to die with regrets. I’ll learn about flowers for the next time we come here.) “These would be perfect for a flower bracelet, wouldn’t they~”

“Oh, uh.. yeah, I guess,” Akane glances over awkwardly. It’s just another failed confession. He should get used to the embarrassment he feels after each and every one. “Do you know how to make flower bracelets, president?”

“No~”

“..huh?”

“I just thought I should point it out,”

(At a very inconvenient time.. Akane thinks for a moment, Or maybe it was convenient? Maybe he just didn’t want me to tell him? Is that why I’ve gotten interrupted every single time? He can’t frown, but if he could- he would have. That can’t be it.. I hope it’s not, at the very least.)

“What about you? Do you know?”

“Yeah, I do.” he shrugs, he doesn’t want to let Teru know how he feels about being interrupted; and so he goes with the conversation. “Mirai’s asked me a few times and so I learned for her. I also know how to do fish braids with flowers in them,”

Teru yawns, “Aha~ you’re always learning things for her. Maybe you can teach me sometime so I can do the same for Tiara~ or at least teach Kou.”

Akane moves his hand away and picks a few flowers he can reach without getting up. “I’ll consider it,” he puts them all in front of them. “Watch carefully,” and he works his magic- glancing at Teru every now and then. He looks like he’s never seen something like this before; which he probably hasn’t given his exorcist duties. He’s never gotten to live a normal childhood like everyone else. (Neither has Akane. Neither of them thinks the other will ever understand- but they do. They’re similar in their own ways. Will they ever find out? Probably not. They’re both too closed up to talk about their own pasts.) “Did you get that? Try it yourself,”

“Eh?” Teru blinks, “You’re too fast for me..”

“Or have you considered you’re just a bit too slow to catch on?” Akane snickers, “Do you want me to retry but slower?”

“Nope~ I’ll just do it without your assistance, thank you for the offer, though, Aoi~” Teru winks at him, and so he rolls his eyes- making a few more flower bracelets while he has the chance. “Ahaha.. Hm..”

“What is it?-” the clock keeper turns, “Oh, well.. there go a ton of perfectly healthy flowers for your.. creation.”

“I tried my best,” Teru reaches over for his wrist, sliding it on- though tons of the flowers come falling off and onto the grass instead. “There~ look at how pretty it is!”

“I wouldn’t say pretty..”

“I tried so hard and this is how you treat me?”

“Mhm..” Akane grabs one of his own flower bracelets and does the same to Teru’s wrist. “Here, that way people think you made the good one and you don’t completely embarrass yourself.” (It’s more like, Take this and think of me later.)

“Awh, thank you, Aoi~ now we’re matching,”

“I guess we are,” he glances up, listening as the exorcist yawns a second time. “Are you getting tired, president?”

“Hm? Me?”

“You know what, it’s not even a question.. come on, let’s just both go home.”

“Eh? Already?” Teru gets up as soon as Akane does. “But your parents..”

“I know,”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. You need the rest anyway, I’m sure you haven’t gotten much- you never do,” Akane takes his hand in his own, beginning to drag him along. “Thank you for coming out here, though. I feel.. a lot better,”

“Don’t sound so embarrassed~” Teru sleepily smiles, “I’m glad I could help. That’s what friends are for, aren’t they?”

(Friends..)

(Yeah. That’s what friends are for. Who was I to think I could be anything more with him?)

Akane can’t help but stay silent. He’s been friend zoned, hasn’t he? He wants to tell himself it might be unintentional, but-

“Oh, and what did you want to tell me earlier? I didn’t mean to interrupt you so rudely~”

“It’s nothing,” he says, “Let’s go home.”

And they do.

Akane is welcomed by the same yelling over the same dumb things. He isn’t startled, nor is he surprised- he’s just used to it. He’s glad his exit went unnoticed, at the very least. He waves to Teru before he walks home as routine, giving him a tired smile from the window.

He can sleep, just not the peaceful way he wants to. He just wishes he never tried saying anything at all. He always dwells on those moments of failure. Maybe that’s something else that keeps him up at night.

(He has 9 months left.)

Chapter Text

Exactly a month later, Akane still has no luck sleeping. His sleep schedule is a mess and he spends his nights studying while overhearing his parents argue from downstairs.

He looks completely dead. His naturally pale skin doesn’t help his situation- his eyebags are extremely visible on his face, and so there’s no way someone could not notice them. He’s had tons of people ask him about it already; it’s very inconvenient given he’s supposed to be a role model. How is he supposed to be the student council’s vice president when he reeks of death itself? The irony is so very obvious. He’s going to die and he looks that way too.

He was taught looks and first impressions were everything. Looking and acting this way is a total embarrassment for any stranger around- so he did his best to seem completely normal to everyone around him.

He still does the same work, he still helps around class, he still offers to make sure the kids struggling for a certain class or two are doing well. He does so many things in the span of one day- it’s just his schedule that he’s grown accustomed to. It tires him out so easily, but it’s fine. It’s his job.

As long as he gets an hour or two of sleep at home, he can work things out. His mind is melting and his thoughts are fuzzy, but he’s learning how to deal with it better. That’s what matters.

Probably.

Maybe the lack of sleep will be the thing that kills him instead of something super dramatic.

Akane groans as he hears his alarm ring right beside his ear. He was having a nice dream, though of course- it had to be cut off early. It’s a routine for him; he struggles to sleep, does something productive, passes out due to exhaustion, and wakes up uncomfortably at his desk. His back is absolutely killing him and one half of his face has the indentation of a pencil in it. It’s quite the embarrassment.

He stretches with a yawn. (“You stretch like a cat, Aoi~” Teru would tell him whenever he noticed. It’s so stupid- why is he thinking about that bastard so early in the morning?) He moves his arm around until his hand eventually presses against his alarm clock. He then pats around more areas on the table until he gets his phone.

He notices an unread message from Lemon. It was sent right after he knocked out.

> language exam today dont forget dude

He snaps awake.

He quickly rubs his eyes and reaches over for his glasses. They don’t benefit his vision, it’s just a habit. He’s too busy trying to tell if he saw the message correctly to care for his attachment habits right now.

> you can’t be serious

His typing is aggressive and quick. He could practically beat someone up with his thumbs if he wanted to.

> i thought it was for math?? are you joking because if you are i’m so gonna kick your ass i swear

> nah im being srs Lol did u study for the wrong thing or smth

Akane wants to throw his phone across the room. (He also wants to throw Lemon across a room for saying ‘lol’ in a situation like this. What is that guy’s problem?) His face begins to flush red due to pure embarrassment- how could he have mixed the two things up? Math, his best subject, and language, his worst. He blames it on his lack of sleep. That has to be the answer. He would have never made a mistake otherwise.. he always has everything so well planned. This makes no sense to him.

He whines as he puts his phone back onto his desk.

He’s always been pretty smart. Even before he regrettably studied intensely for a certain someone- he’s been great with a lot of school related things. Organization, planning, schedules; they’ve all played such a huge role in his life.

For his schedule to be all messed up is- well, a mess. When he was younger, his parents were a little more considerate and kept their yelling under control until after he was sleeping, but now they just don’t care whatsoever. They yell at one in the morning, three in the afternoon, eleven at night, whatever time they feel like it. It annoys Akane beyond comprehension. How can adults be so stupid? They’re supposed to be more mature. (But alas, Akane raised himself with only a bit of assistance. Strict rules he had to follow and then loneliness afterward. He can’t say much.)

“Nghh..” he huffs as he entangles his hands in his own hair. It’s just another stressful month for him. Spring is no good compared to winter- the fears he has have only gotten worse, and on top of that, he has tests to worry about.

He pushes his chair away from his desk to glance down at it.

There’s an open book on flower meanings that he had fallen asleep on, as well as another on how to care for plants- there’s also a ton of student council work scattered all around. Some papers have gotten onto the floor, a few below his desk and onto his chair- he leans down to pick them up, an unsatisfying crack from his back being the only thing he received.

He ignores the slightly sore (very much aching) bones that he has for the sake of cleaning up. He closes all his books, stacking them together before shoving them into his bag. His room definitely needs a bit of cleaning too- but he needs to get to school soon.

He also makes sure to put a few extra twenty pencils in his bag just in case; accompanied by a handful of sixteen erasers. People are always asking him for them at school, and he knows he won’t mentally be awake enough to hear their requests properly- so he’ll just quietly hand it to them and go on with his day.

He reaches for his phone, hearing its notification sound go off again.

> loser

Akane rolls his eyes at Lemon’s message. He slings his backpack over his shoulder before leaving his room- he’ll get some better rest eventually.

He’s good at school. He’s smart.

Today will be just fine, even if Lemon is a jerk and snorts at his unbelievable mistake. It’s not his fault he’s so sleep deprived, he’ll do his best anyway.

Today goes horribly. Akane decides he hates April at the very last minute.

He doesn’t understand most of the questions on his exam. They aren’t even that difficult- he’s just so tired. His mind can't even comprehend the words on the paper he was handed; he glances over them over and over again but he can’t understand a single thing.

“Psst, Aoi-kun..”

“Yes, Fuji-kun?” he whispers back, “I have an extra pencil if you need it. I also have a few erasers left over,”

“It’s not that,”

“What is it then?” he glances over at his classmate. “You know I don’t give test answers anymore, that was in middle school.. I won’t help you either.”

“Actually, I was going to ask if you needed help.”

“..excuse me?”

(Akane? Needing help? What sort of question is that? He’s never needed assistance- not from anybody. He doesn’t rely on anyone. It almost sounds a bit like a certain someone he knows, but he doesn’t think about that too often.)

“You don’t look too good today,” Suzuto tells him. (I don’t look too good today?! Well you look like you just.. He can control his anger like a normal human being. He is a good person. Sometimes. When he isn’t being honest with himself or others, he’s fine, at least. That’s how people like him. So he’ll be honest in silence. Well, he isn’t wrong- but he doesn’t need to tell me straight to my face. He’s always sugarcoating things for everyone else, why can’t he do it this time, too? Jerk.) “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” Akane shrugs, “Just tired. I don’t need help, focus on your paper before we both get in trouble.” he looks back at his nearly empty test paper. His stomach is beginning to swirl at the thought of leaving it like this. “Thank you for the offer, though.” he forces himself to say. (“Because that’s what’s polite,” his mother would tell him, “It doesn’t matter how much it bothers or insults you. You say thank you, Akane. Say it. You don’t want to be rude, do you? People don’t like rude boys like you.”) He has nothing against Suzuto; the boy’s offer was kind and probably thoughtful given he noticed Akane’s uneasiness. He’s just unreasonably angry because of his sleep problems. So he’ll thank him anyway- for reasons he’ll never understand. Expressing how he truly feels is reserved.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” he bites down his anger. (Why is he even mad? The sleep deprivation is making it more difficult to hold that sort of thing in.) “No worries,”

“Alright,” Suzuto hums, writing on his paper effortlessly. It pisses Akane off, in a way. The boy is similar to him- though he always ends up in second or third place. He doesn’t seem to mind; and so, Akane is envious. Akane hates how calm he can be when he’s failing or falling behind. The two aren’t strangers, but they aren’t friends either- at least not anymore. They’ve drifted apart, now they’re just two people who have known each other since the beginning. (A part of Akane wants to amend their friendship before he dies, but the other part knows he’ll be jealous of everything Suzuto does that he can’t.) “Are you leaving school early today? I can let the student council president know.”

“Hm? Oh, no.. I’m not. I don’t leave school early,”

“You never do,”

“You know how my parents are.”

“Mhm,” the brunette glances at him every now and then. They’re both writing- it feels as if it’s some sort of competition. “That’s okay, then. I was just wondering,”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” he raises his hand, “Takei-sensei, I’ve completed the exam.”

Akane’s eye twitches.

As much as he wants to fix their relationship, he also wishes to curse the boy beside him out. Suzuto is a much better person than he could ever be- Akane wants to be a good person. Akane wants to be the best. He wants to be liked. He wants to be honest without letting his aggression out. Everything Suzuto does is so effortless- while Akane has to ruin his own personality to gain the interest of others, he has to carry everyone’s burdens- Suzuto just has cute privilege. He’ll never be as liked as Teru, but he’s still loved. Akane doesn’t know how that feels and it makes him so irritated. Suzuto doesn’t have to change the way he is for the sake of being looked at. Suzuto doesn’t have to stay up at night because his parents don’t care about keeping their conversations private. Suzuto doesn’t know what it’s like to feel disapproval or rejection. Suzuto-

“I’m going to wash my face off in the bathroom,” Akane raises his hand right after. “See you later, Fuji-kun,”

“Okay, see you later.”

Suzuto flashes a small smile at their teacher when she comes around. Akane can only glare as he waits for her to grant him permission.

Everyone is on Akane’s nerves today. He’s upset and he wants everyone else to feel that way, too- but he’ll never act on that. It’s selfish and weird.

Just more thoughts he has to push to the back of his head.

“Well, don’t you just look dead today~”

“Not feeling it today, president. Save your bickering for May at the very least.”

“May begins tomorrow~”

“Exactly. Spare my life just this once,”

Akane is still tired throughout the day. Of course, that’s how it’s going to stay- as he won’t get to sleep until he gets home, but he expected to get at least a bit of peace once he got to the student council room.

“Eh? I’m not doing anything to bother you~”

“You keep reaching over and poking my face. Do your work and stop it,”

“Poking you is quite fun,”

“I don’t think it’s fun. I’m being serious, I just want to do my work..”

Both him and Teru had been alone together for a good twenty minutes or so. He wouldn’t describe it as good, though. Teru is terrible to him.

Though, he’s alright to a certain extent- since he hasn’t done anything to seriously make Akane’s day even worse. (Akane also has favorites and Teru isn’t getting on his nerves like everyone else, somehow.)

“Awh, alright~ I’ll stop.” Teru sits in front of him with that charming smile of his. He lets his cheek rest on his palm, “Who messed with you today?”

“None of your business,”

“Ah, so someone did upset you?”

“I already told you not to worry about it, pres..” Akane groans, “I said it was no one at least ten times already. Do you even have any of your work done?” he points at the papers Teru is supposed to be writing on. “We were supposed to have that turned in by yesterday,”

“They gave us an extension due to the lack of members showing up recently. I mentioned this sometime around the beginning of the month, Aoi~ perhaps you haven’t been listening to me as well as you usually are, nor are you listening to yourself. You’re always on top of all your work, but it seems you’re falling behind~” Teru points at his work in response. “That isn’t even student council work. That’s your unfinished math work,” he clicks his tongue before leaning back, “You also haven’t even written a single thing. You don’t have a pencil~”

Akane’s eye twitches once again.

He isn’t going to get mad, but he definitely feels a bit of frustration bubble up inside him- because he knows Teru is right. He swiftly reaches into his bag for a pencil, though only a dumbfounded expression appears on his face when Teru speaks again.

“You’ve given all your pencils away today. All you have left is two erasers~”

“..how do you know all that?”

“You’ve mentioned it already,” Teru hums, flipping his pen in his finger. Akane wants to call him a show off and leave the room. “You’ve been mumbling since you got here, have you not caught on?”

“Have I?” The apparition crosses his arms and lets them rest on the table. “Great.”

“You’ve failed your exam, you argued with Yamabuki-kun during lunch, you kicked a rock on your way here, you’re upset with Fuji-kun..”

“Huh?” He then furrows his eyebrows. (How much had he really been saying? This whole lack of sleep thing is really messing with his head.) “I’m not mad at Fuji-kun. We don’t even talk that often- and that exam..”

“You left early to use the restroom. You bumped into me and couldn’t even process what was going on,” Teru reaches over and places his hands on Akane’s glasses- taking them off and closing them afterward. “You still haven’t been sleeping well, have you? It’s written all over your face~ and yes, you mentioned wanting to curse Fuji-kun out.”

“I did? I don’t remember doing that,” Akane blinks slowly as Teru places his glasses beside his arm. “I’ve been sleeping just fine..” a complete and utter lie they both know neither will fall for. “..curse him out? You can’t be serious,”

“You sound like you’re about to pass out, Aoi,” he can feel the exorcist’s gaze on him as he buries his face in his arms. His worries are hidden, temporarily out of the light due to the gentle voice that’s talking to him. It’s quiet- soft, even. “Sleeping just fine? It looks like you haven’t slept since last month. And yes, you said it yourself~”

“Do I?” he yawns in response, “I don’t look that bad, I just slept in a weird position or something.. and you’re just messing with me, I’d never say that.”

“Oh, but you just did~ what was that you said about his test? That he-”

“Please, shut up..”

And to his surprise, Teru does. There’s a small silence.

“..Minamoto-kaichou, what are you doing?”

“Mmh?”

“I asked what you’re doing.. why are you touching my hair?” Akane glances up, their eyes meeting for a moment- before he looks down instead. His cheeks are flushing red, and he doesn’t exactly want the other to see. “Are you trying to pull it? In case you couldn’t tell, I’m not tired enough to quit taking care of myself- I wash it every day, I brush all the tangles out, I-”

“I know,”

“Tch..” his voice trails off, “Then why are you doing that?”

“I’ve always wondered how your hair felt~” Teru hums, “I couldn’t help myself. Though you seem to be enjoying it. I’m sure you don’t mind, Aoi,”

He’s right. Akane doesn’t mind at all. In fact, it’s making his heart pound against his chest. He’s getting that strange fuzzy feeling, the one he knows very well- he also feels butterflies in his stomach. It just makes everything so much worse. A handful of months ago, he would’ve gagged at the idea of Teru playing with his hair- but it feels so nice.

“Well, congrats? Now you know..” he mumbles.

“Your hair is soft,”

Akane’s heart is not only pounding, but it’s doing several flips in his body. Is he going to have a heart attack? Teru is killing him slowly with this oddly affectionate gesture of his.

“You think so?”

“I do~” Teru chuckles, soothing Akane even more without realizing it. His voice alone tends to do that often. “You know, we have a cat at home.. you almost remind me of her~”

“..huh?”

“You look as if you’re about to start purring is what I’m trying to say, ahaha~”

“Purring? Excuse me?” Akane huffs, “I’m nothing like a cat, for your information.. I just don’t know how to react to my hair being played with.” he lets his eyes flutter shut. “You’re like a dog if I’m like a cat,”

“A dog?”

“Yes, a dog..” a warm smile appears on his face as Teru continues to scratch his head. His nails are dull, and his hand is soft. It’s relaxing, he can almost feel himself start to drift off. “If you had a tail right now, it’d be wagging.”

“It would wag every time I see you~”

“Oh, please..”

“What type of dog do you think I’d be, Aoi?”

“Hmm..” Akane’s mind begins to wander. “A golden retriever, you know the ones.. the big yellow ones that are always ridiculously happy all the time. Super cheerful and affectionate.”

“Ah, you think I’m affectionate?”

“You can be,” he thinks for a moment, “Like when you hold my hand or whisper dumb stuff..” he’s so tired, he doesn’t even know what he’s saying- all he knows is that he’ll definitely regret this tomorrow morning when he wakes up from his daily two hour rest. “Sometimes when I come to the student council room it feels like you’re going to jump on me.. like a dog when their owner gets home.”

“Should I start doing that, then?”

“No, I’d rather you don’t..” he feels Teru’s free hand go over one of his own. He interlocks their fingers with a slight hesitation- to his surprise, Teru doesn’t pull away. “You also remind me of the sun.”

“The sun?”

“The sun..” he yawns once again. “I’m sure you want an elaboration on that, too.. you brighten my day on the occasion, I guess.” he doesn’t see Teru’s reactions to his words. (He’s not sure if he wants to. He doesn’t want to know if Teru feels disgusted, or weirded out- even though he’s on the verge of passing out, he’s still worrying about it.) “Sometimes I wonder if you are the sun itself. It feels like you’re burning me- but I can’t help but wonder if you burn yourself, too.” Teru doesn’t say anything. Akane almost regrets speaking. “But it’s not.. a bad thing, it draws me in.”

“I draw you in?”

“..yeah,” he doesn’t know what he’s saying, but now he knows for sure that he’s regretting it. What if he lets a confession slip up? It’s best not to talk at all. These are only some of the many consequences of being so tired. In the end, it’s not his fault. “Sorry, I’m saying too much..”

“An apology from my vice president?” Teru hums, the movements from his hand slowing down. “You really are tired, aren’t you?”

“Just a little,”

“Aoi..”

He slides his hand down and under the boy’s chin, lifting it up so the two can make eye contact. He then cups Akane’s cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb. Akane feels lovestruck.

Teru’s eyes are loving and soft. His gaze is similar- because Teru never means any harm. No matter how much Akane wants to tell himself otherwise, he knows deep down Teru can be a very caring person. He might not show it too often, and prefers to tease- but Akane knows how he really is. There’s some sort of comfort in it; he knows Teru trusts him in some way even if his mind tells him otherwise. Not as much as he wants, but it’s still something.

“The offer is still up if you want to spend the night at my place,” the exorcist in front of him lowers his voice so it matches Akane’s mumbling. Teru’s is much more gentle than his own, laced with some sort of care. “You remind me of the moon..”

“Can you tell me how?”

“Ahaha~” he smiles, “Maybe some other time, when you’re more awake~ though I do know you aren’t used to being up all night the same way I am.. the most I can say is that I think of you when I look up at the moon.”

“But you’re up all night,”

“Exactly.”

“So what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I think of you often, Aoi~” Akane’s face heats up against Teru’s hand. He’s not sure how much warmer his body can be. “I like the moon. It’s relaxing~ can you tell what I’m trying to imply?”

The apparition thinks for a moment. His mind is all mush.

“It means I think you’re relaxing,” Teru answers for him, “I have no stress when talking to you~ it’s nice,”

“But you do all your work at night.. how would you like it then?”

“Aren’t you just smart?” he lets his thumb brush against Akane’s bottom lip. “I only like the night because it reminds me of you. Otherwise.. I’d prefer the day. Don’t you feel the same?”

“Do I feel the same..?”

“You prefer the morning, don’t you? You’re always up and working by six at the very latest.” he hums, “By chance.. do I contribute to that reason? I recall you told me you loved to watch the sun rise.. though you didn’t say a word about it until we started getting close.”

“Well..”

“Ah, you’re so flustered~ I’ll take that as a yes,”

This definitely isn't just a friend thing. No matter how oblivious Akane might be when it comes to romance, he knows this is not platonic- he can see a light blush on Teru’s face.

But of course, he tries to brush it off. He’s tired and about to fall asleep. How is he supposed to even comprehend what’s going on? He couldn’t possibly do that right now.

“President,”

“Yes, Aoi?”

“I think.. I-”

“Minamoto-senpai,” a boy walks in, holding a few papers. “Syoma-san needs you in the first year’s science room. Apparently there was an accident someone caused and she would like your assistance.”

Teru sighs before removing his hand from Akane’s face. He pushes his chair away from their desk. (Fuji-kun, Akane keeps his blank, tired look on his face. He still has a deep blush on his face, but it’s more like an angry and embarrassed sort of blush. I want to curse you out so damn badly. But I’m normal, and a role model- so I won’t. I have to be better than you.) “Alright, thank you for letting me know, Fuji-kun.. Aoi, would you like to come with me?”

“..huh?”

“I wouldn’t like for you to be here all alone~” Teru tells him as he stands up, “We could use a bit more help if we need to clean up as well,”

(Is he asking me to come with him because he knows I’m upset with Fuji-kun? It’s hard to tell, but after what just happened.. it’s possible. He really does care..)

“Alright, I-”

“There’s no need,” Suzuto holds the door open for the student council’s president with a plastered on smile. It looks so fake, it almost makes Akane feel sick- though he knows that’d be hypocritical of him, given he’s in love with Teru and looks at himself in the mirror everyday. Sometimes he wants to puke at both, but he doesn’t want to think about that right now. “I have to do some work anyway, I can keep Aoi-kun company. Syoma-san didn’t say the accident was too bad, she just needs one person.”

“Ah.. I guess it can’t be helped, then, aha~” Teru eyes him for a moment, before ruffling Akane’s hair. “Call me if you need me. Don’t do anything that’ll get you in trouble if he upsets you even more, though,” he whispers, before leaving the room.

Suzuto quietly closes the door and makes his way towards the desk. He sits in front of Akane, taking Teru’s previous seat- neatly shuffling and reorganizing the papers he’s holding.

There’s no denying the boy is pretty. Akane has known him for at least ten years, though what he feels towards Suzuto is different compared to what he feels towards Teru. Suzuto makes him feel genuine anger and frustration- because Suzuto is much more human than he will ever be. Suzuto is a good kid. He’s smart and he doesn’t hate others for doing things he can’t. Teru makes Akane feel frustrated at times, but Akane knows Teru is more similar to him than he is different. Teru isn’t very human. He can be selfish, but he’s also oddly considerate- his traits are so contradicting, just like Akane’s. Suzuto is ideal, and so- Akane hates him for it. Akane hates how good he is. It’s not fair.

(Though he knows that isn’t true. Suzuto has his own problems. They’re different than his own, something he will never understand- but he’s selfish. He wants his pride even if he hates the disgusting envy he feels.)

“So, you and the president, hm?”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, seems I’ve angered you.” Suzuto staples his papers together. Once again, his movements seem effortless. He looks like he has no flaws. Akane hates him and his stupid confidence. “Do you want me to apologize?”

“You know the answer to that.”

“When did you start being so honest? Did you finally admit that you’ve never loved Akane-san? Have you finally realized your feelings for someone else?”

“Don’t drag either of them into this,”

“I’m just wondering,” he shrugs, “It’s been a while since we properly talked. I knew you liked our president, but I didn’t know you felt that strong about him. You’ve never looked at Akane-san that way,”

“I told you to shut up.”

“You were so polite to me earlier, Aoi-kun.”

“You know why.”

Now that they’re alone, Akane can be as angry as he wants. Suzuto knows he isn’t the polite kid he disguises himself as. He’s easily irritated and anything can get on his nerves, especially other people who he considers inconveniences. It’s the one perk that comes out of this annoying conversation, now he can finally curse him out.

“I do,”

There’s a small silence.

“So have you realized?-”

“I’m going to punch you if you don’t shut the fuck up,”

“You know our president doesn’t like when you curse,”

“Well, lucky me, because he isn’t here.”

“So you were waiting for him to leave to act how you really are?” Suzuto clicks his fountain pen. “Don’t you realize trust is a significant part of love? If you want him to feel the same, you need to be yourself, or he’ll be loving a part of you that isn’t even you,”

“You told me that when I thought I was into Ao-chan.”

“The advice still applies,”

“I don’t need your damn advice.” Akane hisses, “I don’t even want him to feel the same.”

“Oh?”

“God.. dammit,” he hides his face in his arms, “Forget you ever heard that.” He doesn't even know why he said that in the first place. (He himself doesn’t know what he’s saying. Is that really what he wants? He doesn’t know. The only reason he would is because Teru would love him back when he has so little time left.. or maybe because he’d feel so much denial being confessed to. He doesn’t think he’d believe it.) “Do your work. The president’s out, so you have to listen to me instead.”

“You can tell me what’s wrong, if you’d like,”

“I don’t care, I won’t.” he begins to consider leaving early. He can do his work at home and bring it back without Teru’s knowledge. “Stop acting like this. We aren’t friends anymore, Fuji-kun.”

“Don’t you want to be?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m asking if you want to be friends again,” Suzuto smiles at him, “Are you free to hang out after school?”

“Where did this come from??” Akane furrows his eyebrows in response. (Nothing ever goes his way, so he feels confused. His wish of making amends with Suzuto is coming true? How strange.. something will probably go wrong. It’s just his luck.) “I mean, I’m free, but..”

“Do you want to hang out? It can be just like when we were kids, we can catch up on everything that we’ve lost. You can tell me about Minamoto-senpai, and I can tell you about my friends,”

The two make eye contact.

Suzuto’s gaze is confusing. Akane can read him well, the same way he can with everyone else- because Suzuto fakes his personality just as much as his other friends. (What is it with Akane attracting those types of people? Well, he attracts what he is. A fake.) It’s not sharp, nor is it harmful like the other threatening stare he currently feels on his back (but chooses to ignore, as he’s dealt with it for months now)- but there are some undertones of resentment and hatred. Suzuto is not perfect, nor will he ever be; no matter how much Akane is pissed at his polite and kind gestures, he knows the boy is selfish and would pull just the right amount of strings to make others do things for him. He’ll smile at the ones who annoy him. He isn’t honest, but neither is Akane.

“You know what,” Akane mutters, “Sure,”

“Sure? Are you reluctant?”

“No,” he huffs, “Just tired.”

“Let’s walk home, then. I haven’t moved, and I’m sure you haven’t either.” Suzuto stands up, “Maybe we’ll walk into Akane-san on our way there? We could say hi, I’ve noticed you drifted away from her as well. Want to tell me why?”

“I’ve been busy, we haven’t had the time to talk..”

“Busy doing what? Kissing the student council president after school?”

“Just get your things so we can leave,” Akane mutters.

“You’re in a rush, I just got here. I’ll do my work at home, so alright, give me a moment..”

The two walk home together. Suzuto was surprisingly true to his words- it seems they both wanted to amend their friendship. Akane doesn’t know why, but it’s a nice coincidence.

Nothing in particular went wrong other than the fact that he got no work done. Of course, he still absolutely failed his language exam- but he plans to retake it anyway. He sleeps well that night, despite feeling two different pairs of eyes on his back when he walks home.

One soft, presumably Teru’s- and the other sharp that he can’t seem to recognize. It’s suspicious, as this has been going on for a while now, but he doesn’t think about it too much.

After all, he has other things to worry about. Confessing, his lifespan, his grades.. It’s not like a weird stare could contribute to any of that, right? It just makes him paranoid, there’s probably nothing even there. He’ll continue to brush it off while he dreams of something nice.

(He has 8 months left.)

Chapter Text

Akane hums softly as he waters a gardenia. The sun’s light from his window is hitting both him and the flower, providing them with an embrace of a warm sense of safety. The cold is no longer present, and the rain has finished with its annoying appearances. It won’t be back for a while, or so he hopes.

Somehow, just by pure luck, he’s managed to keep the flower he has alive. The petals aren’t wilting, and the stem looks pretty healthy. He’s done his best to keep it in the condition it was first given to him as- he’s even gone to the extent of buying more flowers just for practice of getting better at caring for them. He’s almost a bit proud, though he knows he should be trying to keep himself alive much more than some little flower. He’s still in denial about the whole fated death situation even after five months. He still doesn’t want to believe it will happen. He’ll accept it eventually, though.

It’s currently around eleven in the morning. He has to meet with Teru at twelve (sharp, or he’ll get poked at for being just a bit late) for community cleaning, so he still has a bit of time at home. He doesn’t exactly understand why they still do it; usually they clean once or twice a month, but little to no members show up but him and Teru. Obviously they don’t want to clean, are faking being sick, lying about being busy.. it’s selfish, but as always, Akane can’t say a thing. He’d do the same if he weren’t striving to be better all the time, trying to win over the eyes of others with the way he participates constantly.

He doesn’t want to get into that.

He rubs his eye with one hand and holds his watering can with the other. The can used to belong to his best friend; she gave it to him when they were younger and still very close. It’s a beautiful teal blue color- similar to the one in his eyes. It also has a cute little flower underneath, drawn on with crayon and then clearly traced over with marker because the crayon’s wax wouldn’t seem to stay. He originally planned on buying a new watering can, as this one could only hold a bit of water, but the gift was nice and he didn’t want to let it go to waste. He only has a few flowers, all which are not high maintenance. It’s fine with just that little can.

He glances around briefly. All the flowers he has are in his room, though there are a few plants downstairs. They don’t belong to him, and instead belong to his mother, but the poor things have been neglected for as long as he can remember. They’ve been left to rot as if they could take care of themselves. His dad has never made an effort to even glance at them, acting as if they don’t even exist. They sit around, wilting and dying as the days go on due to the lack of attention they receive- they don’t get sunlight, they don’t get love- the plants themselves look sad. It adds to the unhappy environment his ‘home’ already has.

Akane’s grip on his watering can gets a bit tighter. He sighs before swallowing thickly, making his way downstairs.

He’ll take care of them for his parents. Maybe they’re too far gone, but that’s okay. At least they’ll die knowing someone wanted to help them out, even if it was just a little bit.

(He knows why he’s pitying them. He just doesn’t want to get into that, either.)

He makes his way down calmly. The house is empty. It’s silent. No one is home but him.

He doesn’t know where his parents are, but he tells himself he doesn’t care. They can’t be around just because he wants them to- because when they are around, he wants nothing more than for them to shut up and leave. Most of his wishes are contradicting, and to avoid accepting that fact, he ignores them all together. He’s only completed a few things on his wish list and probably won’t get to finish at least half of them before he dies.

And that’s not even counting everything. He may get to some wishes, but he also might fail- like when he tries to confess to Teru, or every single time he plays the piano. The keys on his old family piano are aching and so are his ears. Things just don’t go his way. He’ll die unhappy and feeling incomplete.

He lets out a small gasp of surprise when he feels water drip down from his water can. It soaks his sock, and now he feels disgusting. He wasn’t holding it the right way, allowing a bit of the water to spill out. He huffs a bit.

He shouldn’t be thinking about his death right now, anyway. He wants to focus on things that might still have a chance to live. Things that don’t have their fate written in stone, something unimportant.

Akane is used to focusing on the little things. He’s been taught that since he was young- a slight problem he causes, a rude comment he says- the second he makes a small mistake, everything seems to crash down on him. It’s negative attention that he receives, and while it’s better than nothing, it makes him feel nervous. But it’s always his fault. It’s his fault things are this way, it’s his fault no one wants to look at him, it’s his fault his parents aren’t around, it’s-

There’s knocking on his door.

“Tch..” he takes a deep breath in, forcing a welcoming smile on his face. “I’m coming, mom..” he rushes to put his watering can on the closest table, praying that she won’t notice- wiping his hands off on his clothes. “I didn’t know that you were.. huh?”

There’s a cat on his doorstep.

Not his mom, not his dad, not even a human being- there’s just a cat there. He squints at it to make sure he’s seeing this right. There’s no way he confused knocking for a cat- cats don’t have hands, obviously. It would have sounded like scratching.

“Who’s cat might you be?” he mumbles, kneeling down so he can be face to face with the fuzzy creature. He doesn’t know much about animals, as he’s never had a pet himself- but he is fond of them. He likes both cats and dogs. “Ao-chan doesn’t have a cat, does she?” he glances over at the house beside his own. It belongs to his childhood friend- cats have always hated her for some reason. “Fuji-kun doesn’t have one, either..” he then looks forward. “Minamoto-kaichou doesn’t live very close, and..”

The cat gets closer to his hand to sniff it. It gently moves its head underneath his palm.

“You don’t have fleas or anything, do you?” he mumbles, before moving his hand slowly in response. He pets the cat willingly. “Maybe you’re a stray..” he wonders why he’s talking to a cat. It’s nice having someone to talk to, though. “Well, either way- I have to be on my way to go see the president.. I need to make sure to get there before he does. Do you want food, or something? Water?”

A cat can’t respond to him.

“..I’ll just leave you a bowl. Wait right here.”

And he does just that. He goes back inside, grabbing two bowls in a rush. He doesn’t know what cats eat, though- so he has to put one back in fears of accidentally making the cat sick. He manages to get the bowl full of water outside safely without spilling too much of it out.

“I have to go now,” he closes the door to his house. He has his keys and phone in his pocket in case anything happens, so he’s basically ready. He’ll finish watering his mom’s plants when he gets back home. “See you around.. Cat,”

The cat obviously doesn’t say anything in response. He just stares at it for a few more seconds before walking off.

Akane still wonders who’s cat it might have been, though it doesn’t really concern him anymore. His mom would be pissed if she found out he had been taking care of an animal behind her back, anyway- something about him being an untrustworthy son. He’d get scolded just for doing something as small as that. He rolls his eyes just thinking about it.

He checks the time on his phone to make sure he’ll still get to the park on time- and luckily, he will. (Ironic considering luck is never on his side; something inconvenient has to happen soon.) There’s still another forty minutes to get there. He puts his phone back in his pocket.

He looks up at the sky. It’s bright and warm today; the sun seems to be on his side. He likes the warmth, though he decided to wear a short sleeve for the cleaning. He doesn’t want to get any of his favorite sweatshirts covered in gross dirt.

He then looks at his surroundings. He passes by a mall, a convenience store, a flower shop, and a few other places he doesn’t care to remember. He needs to make a stop at the flower shop in search of something a little more challenging soon. He wants to try taking care of high maintenance flowers. He doesn’t have anything to show off to Teru just yet.

Things have been feeling surprisingly normal. He doesn’t know how to explain it, but his schedule is back to its usual organized self- and he’s also been sleeping a bit more decently, which is a nice addition. Not normally, because he’s incapable of sleeping after six in the morning and always has tons of work to finish by midnight, but decently. It’s nice.

Him and Teru haven’t spoken about their conversation in April. That’s been eating at him slowly.

What was that supposed to be?

How is he associated with the moon other than being relaxing? Does Teru really find him that way? What was that whole cat and dog conversation about?

He wants to grab Teru’s face and hold it close to his own. Kiss his lips and discover the truth without needing any words to be said.

He managed to get every other thing about Teru right- why is this an exception? Why can’t he tell how Teru feels?

He’s snapped out of his usual Teru thoughts when something brushes against his leg.

“Oh, it’s you again..” he mumbles when he crouches down, patting the cat that he saw earlier once again. “Did you follow me? You must be a stray, then..” he hums softly. The cat seems to like him, though he doesn’t understand why. (Cats are smart animals, he thinks, It probably needs me for something, but I don’t have cat food. Maybe I’ll ask Minamoto-kaichou about it. He did say he has a cat, after all..) “Maybe I should bring you to a shelter.”

“Akane-kun~”

“Huh?” he glances up, a small smile appearing on his face. “Oh, Ao-chan. Good morning!”

“Good morning~” the girl gives a smile back, though it isn’t real. He can tell Aoi isn’t very happy to see him today. The two have distance, it’s difficult to be themselves around each other- in fact, they’re never themselves around each other. Both Aoi’s and Akane’s personas clash into this awful mess. (When they were still kids, just maybe, they could have still had something- if Akane weren’t so pressured. Forcing himself to believe he was in love with the only person he could trust- they only lost each others’ trust in the process. Now they’re just friends on the outside. Akane knows Aoi is selfish and pitiful. Aoi knows Akane is worthless and pathetic.) “I didn’t know you had a cat, Akane-kun~”

“Oh, I..” he blurts out, standing up straight. The cat doesn’t seem to like Aoi, as expected- it hides behind Akane’s legs.

“Your cat doesn’t seem to like me,”

“I-It..” he clears his throat, “It isn’t my cat, I’m not really sure who’s cat this is. If I did have a cat, it’d never hate you, Ao-chan!” he clasps his hands together. (This is routine. This is how things are supposed to go.) “This cat just happens to.. favor me,”

“Ehehe~” Aoi tilts her head to the side. “Okay.” she changes the topic, “Where are you off to, anyway? You don’t really go out often on weekends, Akane-kun~”

“I have to go to the park,” Akane responds, “Me and the president have community cleaning today. I’m supposed to get there by twelve,”

“It’s already eleven thirty already~”

“It is, I wanted to leave early to make sure I wasn’t late.” he glances down. The cat is still there- when is it going to leave? Does Akane just attract cats? “I’m on my way right now, actually.”

“I see~ let’s walk there together, then~”

“Alright, that works for me. What about you? Where are you going?”

“I was going to give these to Nene-chan,”

“Ah,” Akane glances at her hands. There’s a bouquet in her hands, tied neatly together in a bow with a beautiful pink ribbon. The flowers were clearly grown by Aoi herself- as she has a beautiful garden in her backyard that she takes great care of. When she and Akane were still close, it was where they’d go together when they both had problems with their parents- Akane hasn’t been to her garden in months. Though he can identify the flowers almost instantly due to his recent knowledge. He points at them as he speaks, “Lilies, daffodils, orchids, carnations.. most of those flowers stand for love or affection,”

“Hm?” Aoi blinks, “I didn’t know you were interested in flowers, Akane-kun~ let alone their meanings. You seemed bored when it came to flowers when we were still kids~”

“Oh, no- I’m not really interested myself,” he chuckles awkwardly. It’s nothing like the carefree giggles he can give Teru. Aoi means a lot to him- she was his first real friend, so of course she does- but their friendship needs some clear amends. This Akane knows he’s at fault for. He ruined what they had in exchange for a desire of wanting more. Something he didn’t really want from her in the first place. “Minamoto-kaichou showed interest in them a while back, and I thought it’d be nice if I got into them too..”

“I see,”

“Yeah..”

“You sure have been spending a lot more time with Minamoto-senpai, haven’t you?” the girl beside him walks with grace. She’s beautiful on the outside, everything you could ever want in a girl; though she’s terrible on the inside. She knows this. So does Akane. They’re both terrible. “Is there any reason why?”

“No, not really.” Akane shrugs, “I guess we have been closer,” he knows they definitely have, and he knows Aoi knows. Aoi’s known him since childhood- she can see through him, and he can see through her. “Maybe student council work? We’ve gotten more stuff, and-”

“Akane-kun,”

“Yes, Ao-chan?”

“I know you don’t love me,”

There’s an uncomfortable and long silence after.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Aoi has known this fact for years and years; it just took Akane longer to realize. He just kept insisting that what they had was no other than true love- that this is what true love was supposed to feel like. Though it was forced and honestly quite awkward for them both. She’s told him multiple times that she believes his feelings for her are just some sort of fabricated admiration, and deep down, Akane knew she was always right. He just never wanted to admit it. He never wanted to see some sort of terrible change between them. He never wanted to lose his best friend- but in the end, he did anyway. It’s his fault and he doesn’t want to accept that, so he just continues what he’s used to.

“I’m sorry,”

But this time, there’s no denying it. Akane doesn’t want to lie to her anymore. He doesn’t want to die the disgusting and pathetic liar Aoi knows him as. He misses what they had. He misses being her friend. He misses being the boy she can come to for anything- whether if she’s having problems with her parents, or problems with people who won’t leave her alone- he wants to help her as her friend, not some guy who just has a crush on her and doesn’t want to leave her alone. He’s gotten over those issues. He’s still scared he’ll lose everyone he cares about, but he’s not super attached anymore. He’s not forcing himself to believe something because he’s afraid of losing her.

“It’s okay,” Aoi tells him.

“But it’s not.” He doesn’t believe it. He won’t believe it. “I’ve been lying to you for years,”

“I know.”

“Exactly,” he clenches his fists, his nails slightly digging into his palms. It hurts. “You know, and that’s what makes it worse.”

“Akane-kun,” she glances over at him.

He knows she’s been lying right to his face, too. It’d be hypocritical of her not to accept his apology, anyway- because she’s never even apologized to him for doing the exact same thing.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Akane swallows thickly. When she says that, she usually means she does want him to worry- but she’s too afraid of voicing that herself. Though this time he can’t read her tone properly. He can’t tell if she’s being honest or not.

(What does it matter, anyway? It feels like what they had is beyond repair. This isn’t like him and Suzuto’s friendship problem, no- this is so much worse. It doesn’t matter how much they both try. It doesn’t matter how much effort is put into fixing their relationship. It just won’t ever be the same. The trust isn’t even there anymore.)

“Alright,”

He’s not going to force anything out of her. If she wants to talk to him, she’ll talk. He’s worrying, obviously- but pushing her into telling him what she really thinks won’t help them at all. It’ll only add onto their ongoing problems.

“Are you interested in anyone else?”

“No, I..” he isn’t going to lie at all anymore. He wants her to know the true him before he dies. The version of him that wasn’t altered for the sake of other people’s attention. The version of him that she used to know, that she used to care for. The only problem is that he himself doesn’t know how to truly act. “..actually, I am,”

“Is it Minamoto-senpai?”

“It is,”

“Okay,” Aoi hums, “That’s all I wanted to know. Shoot your shot sometime,” she gives him a smile he can’t quite read. He wishes he could. He wishes he could genuinely tell whether she forgives him or not- it was so easy to do this in the past. “We’re at the entrance of the park already, so I’ll see you around, Akane-kun,”

“..see you,”

Akane would’ve offered to walk her to wherever she needed to go- but he’s done shoving himself into her life. He doesn’t want to be the pest that won’t leave her alone because he’s too scared of losing someone. He’ll stop bothering her. She may never learn to trust him again, but that’s okay. He won’t force her to. He’ll let her take the time he doesn’t have. Maybe she’s happier that way. She’d be happier knowing Akane won’t be around to stick by her side all the time due to his fears.

That isn’t true.

He shouldn’t be thinking that way. Aoi is selfish, but she isn’t a bad person. She would care if something bad happened to him. She still cares for him, just differently. He sighs softly.

He then glances down at his leg.

“Why are you still here?” he huffs, staring down at the cat beside him. It hasn’t left, for some odd reason- it followed Akane while he talked with Aoi despite not liking her. “I can’t take care of you, mom would get pissed if she saw cat fur on my clothes..” he pats its head for a few seconds. “I’m sure you understand, right? I’ll see you around, again, cat.”

The cat stays.

“Come on..” he whines. He doesn’t have a problem with the cat itself, he’d just prefer to stay out of trouble. “I don’t have any food or water,”

It’s still there.

“I have to go see Minamoto-kaichou..”

It meows at him before turning away.

Maybe it doesn't like Teru? Cats have never seemed to like the Minamotos, for some reason- which was why Akane was a bit surprised when he learned they have one.

“..okay, then. Bye, cat,” he waves, before walking forward. What a strange cat. Very funny, too.

“Aoi~ you’re late,”

“Just by a few minutes. I’m sure you just got here, president.” Akane mutters as he puts gloves on. He hates getting dirty- ironic considering he’s currently taking care of plants at home. “I ran into Ao-chan on my way here, so I had to say hi.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” he’s sitting down on a bench while he makes sure he’s completely ready. It’s a picnic bench with a table right in front of it- there’s trash bags, rakes, all that stuff. “We had an important conversation, so I guess that sort of slowed me down.”

“An important conversation?” and of course, the student council president and most beloved student of his school sits in front of him with a copy and pasted smile on his face. “Ah, what might that have been about?”

“Our current relations,” Akane shrugs, “Just.. how things are between us right now, you know? That sort of thing.” he can tell Teru is listening carefully. “I don’t think.. things are ever going to be the same between us,” he pauses, though. He doesn’t want to turn this into a ranting session- Teru has his own personal issues, and they are much worse than his own. He shouldn’t complain about his life when there are people who are going through worse things compared to him. (It’s a bad mindset, to say the least. He disregards his own thoughts and problems just because others have it worse.) “But I don’t really want to talk about that right now, we have our cleaning to do.”

“Ah, you could talk if you wish to,” Teru assures him, but he doesn’t care. He’ll feel some sort of guilt afterward. He’s better off keeping it to himself. “I don’t mind,”

“It’s fine,” Akane responds, “Let’s just get to the cleaning already. Anything specific for today? School’s out soon, so I'm sure some people are celebrating finishing their final exams.”

“If you say so, though you know you can always talk to me, Aoi~” the exorcist surprisingly doesn’t push on finding out. “And no, nothing specific~ just the usual.”

“Did the others bother coming?”

“Syoma-san should be coming with Otogiri-kun. Fuji-kun is also on his way, though he said it may take a bit of time to get here.”

“Probably a problem with his sister,” Akane hums, “Is that everyone who plans on coming?”

“I believe so,” Teru clicks his tongue, “How are things doing with you and Fuji-kun as of now?”

“You make it sound like we’re a married couple,” the apparition glances up at him. Why would Teru be wondering about it, anyway? He knows nothing about their past friendship. “Things have been going fine, why do you ask?

“That wasn’t my intention~” and for a second, his voice is hard to read. A hint of an emotion Akane can’t quite grasp yet. (Maybe Teru doesn’t like the idea of Akane being with another- though he won’t get to find that out, will he?) “I’ve just noticed you two have been talking a bit more than usual,”

“Oh, yeah. About that- we’re friends,”

“Ah, really?” he lets out a small sigh, “That’s a relief. Wouldn’t want anyone bothering you~” he stands up afterwards. (Or maybe it was something else. The idea of Teru being jealous of Akane and someone else doesn’t seem to feel right. As if that would ever even happen.)

“He isn’t bothering me, at least not anymore.” Akane stands up as well, “So don’t think about it too much, president. Enough small talk, it’s about time we get to work.” he stretches briefly.

“That’s good to hear~ you’re always on and on about working. Ah, and there’s your cute little cat stretch~”

“Hypocritical of you to say, you know. You’re always- hey!” he huffs, “I told you to stop saying that! I’m nothing like a cat!”

“Eh? But you like when I compare you to a cat, you get all red and you start to stutter~”

“Because I don’t like when you do that!” he covers his face in embarrassment, “It was okay once, but other than that- it’s completely dumb stuff!”

“It was okay once?”

“Just shut up!” he reaches over for a rake, holding it tightly within his grip. “Get your rake already so we can fix the leaves!”

“We aren’t fixing the leaves, we’re bunching them together~”

“President!”

“Okay, okay~ no need to get so worked up, I’m gooooing~”

“Tch, it’s about time.”

He begins to do his job- raking up the leaves he can see into a little pile. It’s odd that the leaves are falling so early in the year, but the world isn’t getting any healthier- so it’s not surprising. He doesn’t like the thought of all the nature around him dying, though, so he decides to start a conversation.

“You know, now that you’ve mentioned cats..” he speaks up, “I came across one this morning, actually. It followed me all the way here.”

“Oh, how cute~ talking with your family outside the park, aren’t you? By chance did you bring them to meet me? I should have been more prepared, I would have been more well dressed~”

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” he glares. The idea of Teru meeting his family makes his stomach churn- but that won’t ever happen, so it’s fine. He has nothing to worry about. He can continue talking about meeting cats instead of getting into his actual family. “It left the second I mentioned your name. I wish I could do the same, but I have to be here to make sure you don’t destroy this entire park on your own..”

“You know I’d never do that~ you just wanted to see me. I wonder why the cat left, though.. I would have loved to meet your family.”

“I see you like, every single day. I think that’s the opposite of what I want,” he shakes his head, “Cats don’t really like you.”

“But you do~” Teru coos, “Ah.. owch, Aoi~”

“Quit it,” he watches Akane walk over just to nudge him. “Do you want to have this conversation again? I already told you how much you remind me of a dog.. and I can bring up the bad reasons now if you want me to.”

“Well, I never finished telling you why you reminded me of the moon, did I? We aren’t having our conversation again, we’re continuing it~”

“Don’t correct me,” Akane huffs, “And fine, we can continue.” That isn’t exactly what he had planned for that day, but a further explanation would help his thoughts.

“Since you were so painfully honest when you told me about my correlation to the sun,” Teru hums, “I think it’d be nice if I were the same in return, don’t you think?”

“That’s a little worrying,”

“Eh? I’ll be honest, not rude. Don’t be such a downer, Aoi~” he stops raking the leaves for a moment to speak. “You remind me of the moon’s light,”

“The moon’s light?” Akane narrows his eyes at him, “Some astronomy obsessed nerd would definitely destroy you for saying that. The moon doesn’t have any light, president.” he shakes his head. “The sun’s light reflects onto it, giving it that white glow.. other than that, the moon would never shine on its own. Therefore.. it technically doesn’t have light.”

“Are you that astronomy nerd by chance?”

“Huh? No, I know nothing about astrology. Just a few things I learned when I was younger..” Akane shrugs, “Just get on with what you’re trying to say..” he’s not trying to sound impatient or desperate, but that’s exactly how he ends up sounding anyway.

“Ah, right~ almost forgot for a moment that my vice president could never be patient~” Teru leans over and flicks his nose. (I hate you. Akane wants to say. And I hate the way you make me feel. How could I be in love with an idiot? A moron, even? He acts as if he isn’t just as oblivious. Though he knows his thoughts aren’t true either way; he never hated Teru and he never will.) “That’s exactly the reason I associate you with the moon,”

“Not.. having light?”

“You don’t shine on your own,” Akane isn’t sure what he means by that. “You’re smart, I’m sure you can figure out what that means. I can already see your cute little questioning face~”

“Don’t call it that.” he glares for a moment, the blush on his cheeks fading the more he thinks about it.

Not shining on his own- could Teru mean that Akane wouldn’t shine without the attention of others? It’s a well known fact (at least to Teru) that he can be self-destructive for the sake of having eyes on him. Changing the way he is to be looked at, to be loved- it’s normal for Akane, but anyone else would consider it otherwise.

“It’s not bad before you say anything. I could assume your reaction a mile away,” Teru interrupts his thoughts, thankfully. “Well, actually.. it’s a bit bad, ahaha~”

“..yeah,” Akane mumbles. But it’s not like his correlation between Teru and the sun is much better- if you get too close, you’ll burn. He can’t help but always wonder if Teru’s burning himself this way. Being alone for so long, it must get quiet and scary. Maybe Akane is just projecting his own fears, or maybe his worries are right- Teru will never say.

“I like you just the way you are, Aoi,” Teru smiles softly. “Whether you shine or not,”

“I..” Akane blinks, his face flustering up in surprise. “Well, uhm..” liking him the way he is? Is this some sort of confession? It’s quite cliche, given the relations to the sky and the beautiful surroundings, but it’s perfect.

“Ah, hold on..” the exorcist pauses, “There’s a bug on your arm, don’t move-”

Oh.

There is a bee on Akane’s arm. There is a bee. Is Akane allergic to bees? What if it stings him and he dies? What if he never recovers? What if a bee is the cause of an embarrassing death of his?

“Well, get it off!” he hisses, moving his arm up and down in a rapid motion. He’s too panicked to realize he’s probably provoking it. He walks backwards, as if that’s going to help anything. “Get it off, get it off!”

“Aoi, quit moving so I can-”

“I hate bugs! Gross!”

“Well, then I need you to-”

“Tch-”

He falls into a rose bush.

It’s beautiful for the seconds he has his eyes open.

The roses are a warm shade of red. They symbolize love and romance- but they also symbolize beauty and courage. At some point, he did his best to associate his best friend with them- before he even knew anything about the meanings. He just knew it had to do with romance and tried the most he could; it never worked out, though- and before he knew it, his mind kept wandering to a certain exorcist instead. How did he get into this mess? How did he fall in love with Minamoto Teru, and why is he reminiscing while being poked by a bunch of thorns? Sometimes his thoughts don’t make sense.

He never makes sense.

He stumbles up and looks down at the ground. He won’t meet Teru’s gaze for the sake of his confidence- that had to be embarrassing to witness. He’ll never live with this.

“Ah..”

“Don’t say anything,” Akane tells him. He turns away to start walking, red-faced and huffy. “I’ll get the thorns out myself.”

“Do you want any..”

“I don’t need help, no. I’m fine. Pick a rose or two while I go do that. I needed to buy more flowers anyway,”

“..alright. My water bottle is on the table if you need something to drink, since I know you always give yours to the other members.”

Akane stops in his tracks.

“Thanks, president.”

He clenches his fists.

“I like you just the way you are, too, you know.” he mumbles, “Even if sometimes, you remind me of the burning sun- or a beautiful rose poking my skin.”

He doesn’t want to hear Teru’s response. He walks back to their picnic bench to cover himself in bandaids. It’s a terrible day to wear a short sleeved shirt.

Teru tells him not to work for the rest of the day, considering he’s covered in dirt and has been injured. Even though Akane insists on continuing, that exorcist won’t ever budge- and he’s left alone huffing at a park bench with occasional giggles from Suzuto or questions from Teru about how he’s feeling.

He doesn’t really get a further elaboration on their conversation's meaning, either. He knows just one more reason on Teru’s relation between him and the moon, but that’s it. Their little confessions have hints of romance, though neither of them will say a thing about love directly.

It’s a messy excuse for a spring day. Akane even gets in trouble for greeting a cat and watering his mother’s plants without permission. What did he do to deserve this, anyway?

(He has 7 months left.)

Chapter Text

Akane loves the warmth, but he does not love the summer.

He despises the entire season with every bone in his body. He can handle the heat just fine- that’s never been a problem for him; and if by chance it was, he could just turn on a fan or an air conditioner considering he’s fortunate enough to have both. The real problem is that there’s always little to nothing to do.

He isn’t given any work. The clock keepers have already lowered his supernatural work by a lot already- he only cleans once or twice a month and just has to go in to entertain Mirai. (When he insists on doing more, Kako only denies his requests, saying that he needs to focus on his actual life much more than on people who have already died. While he does have a point, Akane needs to be productive or he’ll lose it. He’s without a purpose if someone’s not asking something of him.) At home, things are way different. He has to do everything around the house, but his parents are never there- he just has to clean up after they argue. School work is also lessening given he’s completed all his exams already- and as always, he was on top of everyone, getting the highest scores in most of his classes. Though the loss of work is not a benefit whatsoever.

Akane doesn’t have many friends, which doesn’t help his situation in the slightest. Teru, Lemon, and Suzuto are all he has- Nene on the occasion, and Aoi depending on which way you look at it. It’s been unbearably awkward between them. Akane swore he wouldn’t talk to her unless she initiated it; and spoiler alert, she never did. So they haven’t talked since their last conversation in May. He doesn’t really have anyone to talk to during the summer once school is out unless one of his friends is free by some sort of luck.

And unfortunately for him, today is the last day of his school year.

The school day is already up, actually- Akane’s being driven to the beach by Lemon’s mother for a school event.

(“I’m not going to drive you to the beach.” his mother hissed at him when he asked her to take him, “You’re old enough to drive now, aren’t you? Instead of being such a handful, why don’t you go learn? You’re such an ungrateful son, I do everything for you..” And then she started going on and on about how he never helped her growing up. Akane isn’t even old enough to drive yet. He doesn’t think he’ll ever even be old enough. He hopes she mourns his death when it comes and then she is considered the ungrateful one. She learns to miss him once he’s finally gone. Though that’s such a horrible thing to wish for, he does anyway.)

Akane clutches onto his pants slightly. He shouldn’t be thinking about his own parents right now. He’s supposed to be having fun, even if he’s not on the best terms with his own mother. The trip is for everyone in the high school division, including him- a stress relief and reward for the students who worked so hard to get where they are now.

Well, he also helped set it up. There were several ideas of where their fun little event could be, but everyone settled on the beach due to the summer’s heat and a high demand for it in general. He would never let something of his go to waste willingly, especially not something he worked on for a while. He put a lot of effort into the event even though he absolutely hates the beach.

He asks himself why, sometimes- but then he remembers.

He can’t swim.

That’s right. Akane Aoi, age fifteen and best ranked student in most of his classes, hates the beach because he can’t swim.

He’s never been interested in trying. His parents never brought up the topic of going to a beach or a public pool, so he’s never really had to think about it. That doesn’t even matter; he doesn’t like being in water for too long anyway. It’s cold and he prefers to stay safely with his feet in the sand, where nothing can harm him. No risks have to be taken.

(Honestly, it’s kind of pathetic..)

“I brought you two cans of sunscreen,” he hears Lemon say, thankfully pulling him out of his thoughts. “Since..”

“Yes, I know,” Akane huffs a bit. “I’m super pale, or whatever you say.. look, I only got sunburnt like, once..” he can’t help but roll his eyes. Lemon is addicted to his phone, but he’s a very good swimmer and loves the summer more than anything else- over the school year, somehow the boy had grown way taller, too. Their height difference is something Akane wants to kick in the face. When they were still kids in middle school, they were pretty close in height. So it gives Lemon a huge benefit to being in the ocean, he can walk pretty far into the water. Akane, on the other hand, gets sunburnt and cold. “It’s not that big of a deal-”

“You were so damn red back then! You would whine the second I poked your arm because of how much it burned-”

“Now, now.. Don’t rub it in his face, Lemon!” Lemon’s mother speaks with a smile. She has no problem interrupting her son playfully. She’s a very caring woman and treats her son well. “So, Aoi-kun,” Akane can’t help but be extremely envious of Lemon- he has such nice parents. Sometimes he wishes they were his own, but he knows he’s letting his jealousy get to his head. Lemon knows how Akane feels, and so Akane’s free to come over whenever he wants- especially when his own parents are too much. “How did things go for you at school? It’s been a while since we talked,”

“Things have been going nice,” Akane smiles at her. It’s fake, of course- the same smiles he’d put on at school for kids who needed his help or for when he was presenting something for the student council. It’s one of the most polite smiles he’s capable of giving. “Thank you for asking, Yamabuki-san.”

“Of course, it’s no problem. I’ve been told the school will provide you guys with snacks, but I brought you some just in case! I told Lemon to share, so don’t worry about that.” Akane ends up smiling genuinely, though. He wishes his mom would pack him snacks and be nice to his friends. She’s already been rude to Lemon in the past- he’s lucky Lemon managed to be understanding of that. “All I have to do is find a parking spot, so just hold on..”

“Thank you,” he mumbles, fidgeting with his hands a bit. He then turns to Lemon upon hearing his voice.

“Hey, man,”

“What?”

“I brought water guns,”

“..okay, and?”

“Pssh..” Lemon shakes his head, “Don’t ‘okay, and’ me! I brought two of them just for us! We can shoot as many people as we want- even that Fuji-kun guy who follows you around and keeps teasing you about your boyfriend!”

“First of all,” Akane huffs again. “We aren’t dating and we never have, nor will we ever. Minamoto-kaichou is too busy for that sort of thing and so am I- neither of us are actually looking for a relationship. Look, I get it.. you know about my.. uhm, crush-”

“I didn’t even mention Minamoto-senpai’s name and you knew I was talking about him. I called it like, in middle school!”

“Shut-” he cuts himself off, glancing over at Lemon’s mom. “Be quiet,” he corrects his rude behavior. He doesn’t want to seem rude in front of adults, even ones he feels safe around. It's more of a ‘just in case’ habit he’s had since childhood. “Fuji-kun isn’t a bad guy, he can just get on my nerves sometimes.. plus, he’s in the student council- you know water guns are against the rules! He’ll definitely call me out on that, I’ll get in so much trouble!”

“So what? Be a little rule breaker for once!” Lemon nudges him, “Come on, it’s the end of the school year! You won’t see them for another two months!”

“Correction, one month and a half..”

“Wonder why our break is so damn short,” he then shrugs, “Either way, you won’t get in trouble, belieeeeve me. You’re always such a goody-two-shoes, following the rules and doing whatever work someone tells you to do- just give it a break!”

Akane hesitates for a moment.

This is the last summer he’ll ever experience.

If he doesn’t take the opportunity, he’ll never have it again. He knows his parents will never take him to the beach, and he doesn’t want to leech off of Lemon’s mother’s kindness and ask for her to take him again. It’d be rude and disrespectful, even if she says it’s alright. Akane has always been told otherwise. He doesn’t want to be that rude child his mother despises. That rude child everyone despises.

He glances outside the window.

There are people playing volleyball and having fun. Some are with their partners, bathing in the sun’s warmth- others with their children, making sure they stay safe in the waves. (Akane sort of wonders what it’d be like to bring Mirai here. She’d probably eat sand, so he crosses that off his wish list. She also can’t leave the school. He’s already missing her. He won’t see her until he returns.) He also starts to see his classmates hanging out. Aoi is with Nene, putting on sunscreen with a smile. Suzuto is with a boy Akane can’t quite recognize, a boy with red hair and a strange necklace- but they look happy together, too. They all look like they’re having fun.

Akane thinks he wants to have fun, too. He wants to take a risk for once in his short, short life.

“Minamoto-kaichou is gonna be watching over everyone,” he crosses his arms, “I’ll have to see what I can do once he gets busy,”

“Oh, right, forgot for a sec. Can’t leave a bad impression on your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“He is sooooo your boyfriend.”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to come,”

“And let you watch over everyone else? Hard pass. We’ve already reran for student council, I’m not letting us lose our roles just because you let someone drown while being too busy looking at yourself in the ocean’s reflection,”

“I would never do that, you always assume the worst from me,”

“Yeah, for a good reason..”

“You wound me sometimes, Aoi~”

“And you suck,”

Akane watches the waves from a safe distance in the sand. He has his arms crossed and is making sure everyone else is just as safe. So far, nothing bad has happened. He hasn’t gotten into the water, and his feet feel weird against the beach’s soft sand. He doesn’t like the sand; not as much as he hates the ocean, but he still doesn’t like it. It gets everywhere- in his shoes, clothes, hair.. it feels gross. He plans on showering the second he gets home; he despises the smell of the beach just as much as everything else there.

“A bit off topic, but..” he turns to the boy beside him. He despises everything there except for Teru. He had gotten there before Akane, surprisingly. Teru loves the beach- similar to Lemon, he’s tall and a great swimmer, but mainly because he’s good at just about everything else. He’s Teru Minamoto, after all. It’s to be expected from the school’s prince. “Why are you wearing that?”

“Wearing what?”

“That,” Teru points at Akane’s sweater, “We’re at the beach,”

“Huh?” Akane furrows his eyebrows, “What’s wrong with it, president? I know we’re at the beach, I’m not stupid.”

“I’m not saying you are~” the exorcist only chuckles in response. He takes off Akane’s glasses with a gentle smile on his face. He’s been a lot more genuine with his expressions around Akane recently- not completely genuine, as there’s still way more dishonest smiles than there are happy ones- but it’s progress, and Akane feels nice about it. That’s the only good thing about this June so far, other than Teru’s birthday. (And it’s also pride month, Lemon and Suzuto were very.. obvious about that. Something about skittles and a gay cake? He isn’t sure, but that definitely happened the second June started.) “Aren’t you burning up?”

“Hmph.. not really,”

“But your face is all red~”

“The sunburn is already starting, noooo..” Akane whines, covering his face. “Can you hold onto my glasses for me until everyone starts to head home? Just give them to me once I leave. I need to go find Yamabuki real quick..”

“Sure I can, I don’t mind- eh?” Teru pauses, “Yamabuki?”

“I don’t think I told you, then..” he lowers his hands with an embarrassed expression, “Well, long story short, he thinks I’m really pale, or something dumb like that. I’m.. not, actually that pale- but he brought a lot of sunscreen for me since he knows I have sensitive skin. I’m sure he already ran off somewhere, he loves the beach.”

“Oh,” Teru clicks his tongue, “I see.”

“Yeah,” Akane tilts his head to the side, listening very carefully to Teru’s tone. There’s some sort of resentment in it, as well as another emotion he can’t seem to catch once again. He wonders what it might be. He’s been spiraling about it for a while. (It’s kind of funny, though of course he doesn’t think that. He can read most of Teru’s emotions except for two- jealousy and love.) “Do you not.. like Yamabuki, president?”

“Ah,” the former shrugs, “I don’t have anything against him, no. Why do you ask?”

“You just sound like it. I mean, not that I have a problem with you not liking him- I used to hate him too, you know. We weren’t close until we actually started talking,”

“I know,” he’s oddly unresponsive. Usually there’d be a soft tease or a gentle chuckle. “Tell you what, if we ever go to the beach again, I’ll bring you two times as much sunscreen, alright?~”

“Huh?” but he must have easily caught Akane's suspicion. Whenever Akane seems close to coming to a conclusion, he just changes the topic. Akane hates when he does that, sometimes. It’s most of the time, actually. “I just told you, I’m not that pale!”

“Aoi,” Teru gets a bit too close. Akane can feel his heart start to pound when Teru cups his cheeks- it’s sudden and he doesn’t know what’s happening. They’re in public, and Teru would never be honest when there are so many people around, especially not if they all have their eyes on them. Teru’s fans are going to be at Akane’s throat if he keeps this up. “I think you’re the only person I’ve seen in our school with so many freckles~”

“So..?” his words come out as a mere whisper. “I don’t.. have that many, what do you mean?”

“Well, I want you to take care of your skin. I like your freckles,” the blonde hums, “So I’ll bring more sunscreen to keep you from burning~”

“I’m not burning!” Akane huffs at him. He loves the feeling of Teru’s hands on his face. (Though he can’t say much about it, considering he’s never really had anyone else get so close to him. He craves physical contact, but the more he wants it, the more he fears getting attached.) “Look, I-”

“Minamoto-senpai!” He looks behind Teru. There’s a group of volleyball players trying to catch his attention. He feels Teru’s hands slip down- and so he sighs softly. Never once do they have the time to be alone together. It’s not fair. “Could you come help us set up the court?”

“Of course, just give me a moment to talk with my vice president,” Teru nods to the group, “I’ll be holding onto your glasses like you asked, alright? Let me know when you need them~”

“Ah.. okay,”

“Oh, and one more thing,” he flashes a quick smile, “Don’t be productive today. I know that’s quite difficult for you, but just take a break~ it’s our last day, so make sure to have fun. Call me over if something happens~”

“..thank you, president,” he smiles back, the warm feelings not leaving his chest. Sometimes he likes the fuzzy feelings. Sometimes they’re inconvenient. Most of the time they suck and he wants to punch them. “You too, by the way. I can help out the students when you need me to, or something..”

“Ahaha~” Teru blows a kiss at him. (Akane can feel his heart begin to explode. He has to remind himself Teru has blown kisses to other people; he isn’t special in the slightest no matter how many times Teru has done something loving towards him. Plus, he shouldn’t be flustered at a beach, anyway. His skin is red enough already. What he needs is sunscreen, not an exorcist boyfriend.) “Thank you. See you later~”

“See.. you,” he stutters, “I’ll be here in the same spot-”

“Wow,” Akane feels a sudden pressure on his shoulder. The one and only annoying best friend of his that loves to tease- he can already predict what’s going to happen in this conversation depending on how much Lemon heard or saw. “What the hell was that? And you said you two weren’t dating?”

“I told you, we aren’t. He was just telling me to have fun the same way you were,”

“I dunno, man. Usually guys don’t go up to other guys and cup their cheeks and go all like,” Lemon reaches over for Akane’s face, cupping his cheeks. (Lemon’s hands don’t feel like Teru’s. They’re different in a way that Akane can’t describe- they don’t hold him with the same amount of care. The same amount of sweet confusing emotions.) “You have soooo many freckles, Aooooi~” he goes to the extent of fluttering his eyelashes. Akane doesn’t even think he’s seen Teru do that in the past. “Mwa, mwa, mwa, mwa! Have fun today! Don’t be all productive and call meeee!”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough from you!” Akane huffs, pushing Lemon away from him. He’s blushing, of course- not because Lemon makes his heart race, but because that is one of the most embarrassing things he’s ever had to deal with. “Go get those sunscreen bottles you told me you brought. My skin is starting to get irritated and I think I’m going to get a disease if I keep waiting,”

“After your boyfriend outright admitted he hated me? No way in hell. You told him you hated me too at some point.. I think I should let you burn out here in the sun,”

“Because I did?” he rolls his eyes, “Fine, I’ll go find it myself. Do you know how harmful the sun’s rays are to your skin? It’s like you’re telling me to die straight to my face.”

“And if I am?”

“Do you want me to punch you in front of everyone at the beach?”

“You’re a pussy,” Lemon snickers, “You wouldn’t do that, especially not in front of everyone.” He takes a small duffle bag off his shoulders, reaching into it- he doesn’t put it down, he just decides to search like that. It’s terrible. “Actually, you would do that, but when like, no one’s around.”

“Tch,” Akane crosses his arms, “Only when I have a good reason! And I don’t punch you hard, I just nudge you! You punch back!”

“It’s self defense,”

“Self defense my ass, you’re way taller than me and could throw me if you wanted to!”

“And I know from experience that you can throw me in return, it’s equal, man.” Lemon pauses, “Do you want the blue kind or the red kind?”

“What?”

“Of sunscreen, I mean. Do you want the blue or the red flavor?”

“..the red,” Akane needs to hold himself back from correcting him. It takes his entire being to stop himself. “I have sensitive skin and certain ingredients of the blue one make me itchy. It can also give me a rash if-”

“Yeah, uhhh, I don’t need an explanation, here’s red,” Lemon shoves the can in his hands, “I already put some on when you were too busy talking with-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, just let me put it on in peace without mentioning Minamoto-kaichou once,”

“Aw, damn. Okay,”

“Aoi?”

“What?”

“When are we getting in the water?”

“I don’t know, Yamabuki. When are you getting in the water?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to get in!”

“And I told you I hate the ocean water!”

“Just get in with me!”

“No, I said-”

“Aoi-kun!” a girl’s voice interrupts Lemon and Akane’s argument. “We lost our beach ball in the water, can you come get it for us? We can’t find it!”

“Now you have to get in the water! Hah!”

“Oh, shut up!” Akane nudges Lemon before standing up with a sigh. He’s going to miss that little beach towel he was sitting on comfortably despite Lemon asking him questions every two seconds. He was actually relaxing if he ignored the annoyance. He doesn’t even have to accept the request- everyone knows Akane will help even if he doesn’t want to. “I’m just going to do my job, I’m not going to play with your water guns.”

“But you said you’d see what you could do once Minamoto-senpai was busy!”

“Well, I changed my mind.” he stretches, walking over and towards the shore.

The cold water brushes against his skin, the soft breeze shortly following.

He feels a shiver go down his spine.

Something doesn’t feel right.

He takes a deep breath. He’s just paranoid, that’s all. There are plenty of people around him in case anything does happen- he isn’t going to go very deep into the water anyway. He just needs to get a ball and leave. He glances around.

“Aoi-kun, over here!” the girl calls out to him again, waving her arm around to get his attention.

“Hirose-chan,” he swallows nervously. He recognizes her as the girl who ruined his February confession and is most definitely holding that against her, but he’s going to help anyway. He can decline if he wants to, but he won’t. He’d never do something so rude. “Do you have an idea of where the ball might have gone? I need a bit of guidance before I start looking.” he walks over to her and his legs are now freezing. She’s reminding him of how much he does not want to be there. Screw having fun, he’s cold.

“I think it went somewhere over there, maybe Akane-san knows..”

He trudges over to the place she points at. Thankfully, Aoi is still with Nene somewhere and he doesn’t have to awkwardly start a conversation. He crouches down and rummages his arms around in the water, seeing if he can find something.

“Tch..” he mutters to himself. He’d wonder why he’s helping her despite him holding a grudge against her, but he knows the answer to that already. (What a people pleaser. It doesn’t matter how much he likes or dislikes someone, he needs to gain their respect and attention even if it’s just temporary.) “Hirose-chan, are you sure this is where you last saw it? I can’t seem to find it anywhere..”

“I’m sure,” she tells him, “Maybe Fuji-kun could find it for us-”

“No, it’s fine.” Akane blurts out as fast as he can. He’s friends with Suzuto, of course- but he still hates the idea of Suzuto being better than him at anything. If Suzuto can do something he can’t, it’ll mean he has no use- and he needs to be useful. “I’ll find it, just give me another few minutes,”

He rushes as fast as he can before he pulls out a rainbow colored beach ball.

“I found it, Hirose-chan!” he calls out with a sigh of relief. If he had taken any longer, he would have lost it. He throws it in her direction, “Please avoid playing so close to the waves, it’d be advised if you played closer to the shore and-”

He’s suddenly shot in the face with cold water.

“Hah!”

“Agh!” he hisses, clenching his fists with an embarrassed expression. He turns towards the direction of the ocean. As expected, Lemon is standing there with a shit-eating grin. He is probably having the time of his life right now seeing Akane get so flustered. “I told you, I am not doing this with you today! Go put that water gun back in your bag!”

“Come on!” Lemon whines, “Pleeeeaaase?”

“Now, Yamabuki!” though Akane is tossed a red water gun instead. “Don’t you-” he’s shot with water. “-dare get me-” he’s shot again. “-in trouble today, or I-” and again. “-okay, I’ve had it with you!” he holds his water gun tightly, “I’ll give you a damn fight!”

“There we go!” the prior cheers, “Woo, finally! Took you long enough, I wasn’t sure if you’d pussy out or-” he’s then shot in the face with water.

Akane laughs at him. Maybe he can still have fun. “Or what, huh? Jeez, you never know when to quit, do you?” he can feel some people’s eyes on him- all which are some sort of surprise. Thankfully there are no murderous or threatening stares. There’s not a loving soft one, either. Teru must be busy, he thinks. “You- hey!” he has to dodge a sudden shot of water.

“There aren’t any warnings when you have a water gun!”

“We need rules!”

“Bleh, fiiiine!” Lemon thinks for a moment, “The rules are that you do anything you want! Okay, start!”

“Huh?!” Akane blinks, “Then what’s the point of rules-”

“Start!”

And so, they go on like that for a while; giggling and shooting each other with water guns whilst missing half of the time. Lemon’s aim is pretty awful and Akane’s is decent- but they’re running around like immature middle schoolers on a field, so it’s hard to actually shoot the right person. Akane has had to apologize to everyone in the water with them at least once, making a bad impression on strangers.

“I’m running out of breath,” Akane mumbles once he begins to grow tired. The water is up to his neck already- he’s gotten so invested in winning (or rather getting Lemon to give up first, since there’s no rules, there’s no way of success) that he hasn’t paid any mind to it. The only thing he’s complained about is his wet t-shirt and shorts. He misses his hoodie. “How do you have so much energy?”

“Because,” Lemon shrugs, “I just do,” he playfully splashes Akane while snickering. “I think you just get tired way too easily. Get more sleep, the summer won’t last all year!”

“Sleep isn’t the problem!” Akane pushes him in response, laughing along with him. “I hate the ocean, it makes me so slow..”

“You’re naturally slow,” and so, Lemon does the same. “Get good, man,”

“You get good, your aim is terrible!” though Akane begins to add a bit more effort into it, pushing him harder than before.

“Damn, you’re such a jerk!”

“You’re a jerk!”

“I said it first!”

“Your logic is flawed, it doesn’t matter if you were first!”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Yeah, figures!”

“I’ll show you what figures!”

Lemon pushes him.

Of course, Akane wouldn’t have minded considering they were playing around; that’s how boys are, they like to play rough. Lemon pushed with a bit too much pressure, though. He catches Akane by surprise. He loses his balance and drops his water gun- and while stumbling backwards, a wave crashes onto him- engulfing his body in the cold water.

Oh dear. This can’t be good.

When he opens his eyes, they begin to burn. Though he tries to force them to stay open so he can pay attention to his surroundings. His chest feels strange, and it’s not the usual fuzzy feelings he’s had recently- it’s something different. It’s a tight and suffocating feeling.

(What’s going on? He wonders, What’s happening?)

But he doesn’t even have to question it. He doesn’t have to think twice.

He knows this feeling all too well.

Slowly but surely, it begins to hit him.

Oh, that’s right. How could he have forgotten?

He can’t swim.

He’s drowning.

Wait a second.

Akane is drowning.

How did this happen? He’s having fun with his best friend one second, and then the next he’s panicking while struggling to get out of the water. He decided to take one single risk for the sake of enjoying himself and suddenly he can’t breathe. Nothing can ever go his way, can it? Is it his fault for not keeping the obvious in mind? Is it his fault he prioritized fun over safety?

Is it his fault he’s going to die?

How embarrassing.

He can hear muffled voices and yelling in his direction. He can’t tell if they’re actually directed towards him, though. Will people care if he drowns? He isn’t really sure. It’s not like he was a very nice person all his life- it’s not like he’s very nice at all. Acting isn’t enough for everyone. Being who they wanted isn’t ever enough. He still wants someone to help, though. Anyone.

Though the more he struggles underwater, the more his body begins to go limp.

His vision is being covered by black spots. This can’t be happening. This shouldn’t be happening. He was told he had more time left, why is his body already starting to give up on him? He can’t even keep his eyes open anymore. This isn’t fair, did they lie to him about his lifespan? Why would someone do such a thing? Isn’t that just cruel?

He desperately reaches his arm up to the sky, but only his fingertips shakily manage to just barely escape the blanket of water. The small breeze of air isn’t enough to reassure him. His hand is beginning to sink back down. No one is going to save him. He’s going to die in the ocean, all alone. If Lemon noticed he started drowning, he paid no attention to it. None of his classmates seem to be doing anything other than yelling, no one tries to do anything themselves. He knows he can’t get to the surface on his own, but it’s not like he can ask for help right now, either. He’s never wanted to call for help as much as he wants to right now.

Is this it? Is this the end?

For a second, he thinks his lifespan is about to be cut in half.

His body feels heavy, and he can’t open his eyes. He gives up. He stops struggling, he stops trying to reach the surface- he can’t do anything. It’s pathetic. Not even tears or screams will save him now.

What a shame.

Well, there’s no defying fate.

This is really it.

There’s a sudden tightness on his wrist. He’s being pulled out and into someone’s arms, but his ears and lungs are filled with water- he can’t comprehend a single word of what’s going on. The person holding him is asking him questions, but all he can tell is that they’re shaken up and worried. He can’t reassure them in the slightest. He’s just barely conscious.

He’s being taken to the shore, he thinks. He isn’t really sure. His vision is so blurry and he can only make out the colors of the sand and water. The sand is getting closer. He’s going to be safe, probably.

He slowly wraps his arms around the person holding him in return. His eyes still burn. He can’t keep them open. Thank god this stranger is carrying him, he’s too weak to even walk straight.

He’s placed down on the towel he was sitting on earlier.

He’s still struggling to breathe.

He’s not dying, and he’s not drowning, either. He’s just panicking. That was so close, what was he thinking? Having fun was a terrible idea. He wishes he stayed at home listening to his mother yell at him. He resents her voice, but now he wants nothing more than to hear it. He wants to go home, he wants to cry and let it all out, he’s such an idiot and-

Another towel is wrapped around his trembling body. Whether he’s shaking from cold or fear, they’re both embarrassing. He’s embarrassing. No amount of apologies will take away that memory from anyone who witnessed the scene.

The person who saved him crouches in front of him. He could always recognize that pretty blonde hair anywhere. He feels lucky.

“Are you with me?” he can hear the boy say, “Hello?”

He has trouble responding. When he tries to speak, nothing comes out. His throat hurts, his chest hurts, and he’s scared. It’s reasonable, honestly. He’s still stupid for going so far into the water, but his reactions make sense.

“Can you hear me?”

He feels two fingers press against his wrist. There’s a slight panic, he can feel it from the other person. He hasn’t felt Akane’s pulse yet, he assumes.

“President..” Akane mumbles, trying to assure him that he’s alive, somehow.

“I was gone for just a bit, Aoi,” Teru whispers, his voice soft as if Akane would shatter if spoken to any louder. He lets out a sigh of relief upon hearing Akane speak to him, the panic dying down knowing that he’s awake. “What happened?”

“I don’t..” Akane loosely grips onto the towel, “I don’t know,” though his vision is blurry and it hurts to try and focus, he can notice Teru’s fangs. He’s never seen them before- he’s seen Kou and Tiara with them, and had a feeling Teru had them, too- but this is his first time actually seeing Teru’s. (He’s so focused on me, he hasn’t noticed. He always tries to hide his fangs, doesn’t he? He thinks, They’re cute. I wish he’d show them more often.. I don’t see why he covers them up. Though this is a terrible time to be thinking about love..)

“Do you know who did this to you?” he feels a hand cup his cheek, snapping him out of his fang-thinking. “Do I need to report anyone? This is serious, who knows what would’ve happened if I didn’t get you any sooner.”

“I was just playing around with Yamabuki,” he’s being as truthful as he can. He doesn’t think before acting. “I’m okay now, it’s fine..”

“In this situation I am legally required to call an ambulance, you’re currently on the verge of passing out. You know that’s a lot coming from me, Aoi.” Teru shakes his head, “Yamabuki-kun, hm? I see.” he clenches one of his fists, “I’ll go talk with him, don’t worry.”

“Don’t.. I said I’m fine,” Akane blurts out, “It’s not his fault, it was an accident..” he isn’t mad at Lemon. Of course, he’s upset- but he knows he’s at fault in this situation. Lemon didn’t know he couldn’t swim, and so it’s on him for not keeping communication- or rather being too embarrassed to mention it.

“Aoi, you aren’t.. grasping this situation correctly, you could have died.” he doesn’t think he’s ever heard Teru sound so nervous. Is Teru worried about him? The exorcist can’t even be rational. “It doesn’t matter if it was an accident or not, that was dangerous. He should have paid more attention to the waves, you were far from the shore by the time I found you.”

“Minamoto-kaichou..”

“I’m not taking any more excuses,” he still keeps his voice down. “You have to put yourself first, though you clearly don’t want to. I’ll do it for you-”

“Aoi!” Akane looks behind Teru, his skin going even paler. “Look, man- I’m sorry, I didn’t know-”

“You,” Teru turns as well. “Just what did you think you were doing, Yamabuki-kun?” he hisses. This is going to be a mess- Akane can hear the aggression and genuine anger in his tone. He needs to do something, and he needs to do it fast. He can’t let this escalate. “Do you not realize how dangerous that act of yours was?”

“Minamoto-senpai,” Lemon swallows awkwardly, “We were just messing around, it got a bit out of hand and- and I didn’t actually mean for him to fall down, I didn’t know-”

“Do not make any stupid excuses,” Teru walks towards him, now with both of his fists clenched. “You didn’t know? Did you even consider that you could’ve hurt him by doing that?”

“He didn’t tell me he couldn’t swim, if I knew then-”

“And so you assumed he could?”

“Yes, I mean-”

“How idiotic,” he scoffs, “You need to learn how to think before you act. Don’t think I didn’t notice your water gun, either. Risking the life of one of your classmates and doing things against the rules- do you know how much trouble you’ll be in? It’s best I-” he feels something grab onto his wrist.

“President,” Akane looks like he’s about to fall over. He feels so dizzy. “It was an accident, I’m telling you..” he knows Teru is much better at holding in his anger than he is, but he wants to take precaution. “Just leave it be, please..”

“Aoi..” Teru analyzes his expressions for a moment before sighing. His anger is only gone when he talks to Akane. “Alright. Go sit back down, don’t force yourself to do anything right now. I’ll be with you in a moment,” he then turns back to Lemon. “Don’t start thinking I’m going to let you go on without a consequence. Just stay away from Aoi for the time being. Go on,”

“Okay,” Lemon nods, “Sorry again, Aoi, I just-”

“I said to go.”

“Okay, okay- I’m going..”

“There we go, he shouldn’t be bothering you for a bit. If he does, make sure to let me know.” Teru sits beside Akane on the towel. “How are you feeling?”

“Dizzy,” Akane rests his head on Teru’s shoulder. “Getting up made everything feel like it was spinning for a moment..”

“That’s why I told you not to force yourself to do anything. You aren’t having any trouble breathing anymore, are you?”

He is, but he’s not going to say that. He wants Teru to worry for him- he wants Teru to care and hold him close when he’s hurt, but he also wants the opposite. He feels guilty. Teru has lots of other things to worry about. “No,”

“That’s good,” Teru rests his head against Akane’s. He even wraps his arm around the apparition’s waist. Akane would have been freaking out if he weren’t super out of it. “Do you want me to call someone to pick you up? Your parents, a friend’s parent?”

“No, I don’t..” Akane whispers, “..can you stay here with me for a bit..?”

“Stay with you?”

“Don’t leave me alone,” he closes his eyes, “Just don’t go..”

“..alright, Aoi,” Teru hums softly, “I’m not going to go anywhere. The rest of the student council can help out the other students while we sit here together,” he pauses, “Just rest your pretty little head for a bit, okay?”

“Okay,” Akane does just that. He rests beside Teru, relying on his body heat to warm himself up. He’s still trembling, but it’s calmed down. “Thank you, Minamoto-kaichou, I..” he sighs, “I just..”

“No need to force yourself to speak,” Teru tells him, “You can tell me later. Right now, just focus on yourself.”

“I will..”

And so, he doesn’t confess a sixth time. He does what Teru tells him to. He rests and focuses on himself for once.

People stare at Akane whenever they pass by, whispering to each other about what happened. Of course, Teru glares at them and gets them to shut up- but Akane still knows they’ll talk about it once they’re out of reach. That’s his fault for not considering the outcomes of his actions.

Teru insists he takes Akane home, and Akane accepts. He doesn’t want to make Lemon feel awkward if they sit in the same car for over an hour.

Akane doesn’t change his mind about summer.

And he especially doesn’t change his mind about the ocean, either.

He escaped death once thanks to fate- but he won’t be able to escape it again.

(He has 6 months left.)

Chapter Text

Akane wants to do anything he can to forget that day. It lingers around his mind, clouding his thoughts and depriving him of relaxation.

He’s lying alone in the ocean. His body is floating, so the water almost seems shallow given the fact that he isn’t drowning yet. He’s drifting along effortlessly and he’s breathing just fine. But his clothes are soaked and his glasses have already floated away- it’s an uncomfortable feeling even though it’s quiet and supposed to be soothing. Every time he blinks, the sky seems to get farther from him. He’s slowly sinking the more time passes by, his body going deeper and deeper into the water.

Is he supposed to mind?

Why is he not acting on anything? Is he stupid? Has he lost it? Does he not care if he lives or dies anymore? Was this what he wanted from the start? Does he want this outcome? Does he want to die?

No, of course he doesn’t.

He wants to grow to be an adult. He wants to live his best and happiest life. He wants to get away from his parents and live far away in a home where he can finally feel safe. He wants to bring his few friends with him- he wants to keep them close and apologize to them for everything he’s done. For what he’s become, and for being such a pathetic liar.

He wants to mend his friendship with Aoi. He wants to tell her he still loves her- but not the way he’s supposed to. He loves her as his best friend and nothing more, though he doesn’t even know if he can even consider them friends anymore. He wants to tell Suzuto he isn’t so bad. He wants to congratulate him on everything and tell him he’s proud. He wants to hug Lemon. He wants to thank him for being such a good friend, for being honest when nobody else would. He wants to talk to Teru about so many things. He wants to be honest with him and spill his heart out. He wants to cup Teru’s cheeks and kiss his lips, tell him everything he’s ever felt for him and-

Akane wants to live.

But it only hits him once he begins to suffocate. He only ever realizes once it’s too late.

Reaching his hand upwards, he receives a similar response to something that had happened in the past. This time, no one’s here to save him. No one is going to pull him out and hold him close. There isn’t a shore nearby even if he could swim and stop being such a dependent idiot. This time, it’s his fault. This time, there’s no luck on his side.

Would Teru be there if he knew something was wrong? Would Lemon try helping him? Would Suzuto call someone over? Would Aoi even glance?

He closes his eyes.

What does it matter, anyway?

No matter what he does, his fate will end up the same.

He’s going to-

Akane wakes up in a cold sweat.

He sits up so quickly that his head feels like it’s spinning. His heart is pounding in his chest and his body is trembling- he holds his blanket in a deadly grip. His knuckles are beginning to turn white as he tries to catch his breath. Even something as simple as that feels difficult for him now.

He looks around for a few moments.

He’s in his room. The house is quiet and the sun is pouring through the cracks in between his curtains. It’s hitting a bit of his freckled skin, providing him with a comforting warm feeling. He takes a few deep breaths. He’s fine, he’s safe. He’s not in the water. He isn’t drowning, nor is he dying. He has nothing to worry about.

No amount of reassurance will ever fix these nightmares.

He steps out of bed with an empty feeling following.

He needs to do more about his future. Ever since he almost drowned in June, he’s been feeling odd. A lot more anxious is one way to put it. He’s avoided taking any little risk since- crossing the road a bit too early, going out unless necessary, checking every ingredient on his food- he’s so paranoid.

And he has every right to be.

He’s just a kid. Death shouldn’t be something he has to deal with, let alone be worrying about at such a young age. Sure, he’s been worrying about losing people since the day he was born- but that’s a completely different situation he’s grown accustomed to. A rinse and repeat sort of thing.

He rubs his eyes with a small yawn. He’s so tired, he can’t even think straight. Usually he can’t do that at all, but now it’s way worse.

Right when he thought his sleep schedule was getting better, too- there’s no way luck could love him. It wants him to trip and fall into a hole of self pity and tears.

He needs to think more about his actions before actually doing them. He needs to learn how to be more responsible. Next time, there won’t be anybody to depend on. Teru won’t be there to save him from himself.

He’s really going to die soon, huh?

He blinks.

It’s seven in the morning. He’s not a procrastinator in the slightest and is very good when it comes to time management, so he decides to push his thoughts away and get on with his day. He’ll think about it in a month or so, that’s the only procrastinating he’ll allow. He has better things to work on right now, like keeping his plants alive.

Most of them are stable, and he knows this. He can keep Mirai from ruining the entire school- he can do just fine with some flowers, it’s way less difficult. He waters them the right amount of times per week and makes sure he opens his curtains to provide them with proper sunlight. Though his gardenia had begun to wilt recently- and he isn’t quite sure why. He can’t think of a logical explanation as he’s been doing his best to take care of that one specifically.

He lets out a small sigh. Maybe he’s not as good as he thought. He may be doing his best, but his best isn’t enough. Well, it sucks to be him.

He carefully plucks out the most wilted petal. Not all of them aren’t healthy- and so maybe he still has something to be proud of. Either way, he needs to take better care of it.

(It’s the second time he’s comparing himself to plants in his household- they’re always either unhealthy or dying- sometimes even both. That definitely isn’t good.)

Akane begins to make his way downstairs once he’s done whining around. He leaves his glasses in his room just in case.

It’s not like his parents noticed when he started coming home with them- neither of them said a word. It’s better that way. He likes when they don’t talk about him. He likes when they don’t talk to him, either.

He sees a figure on the couch and side eyes it. His mother is probably upstairs locked in either the bathroom or her room; whichever she could get to first. His father is lying on the couch, obnoxiously snoring his life away. Akane doesn’t even know why he bothers coming home anymore- but he can say the same about his mom. The living room reeks because of both of them. It makes his stomach churn. They make his stomach churn.

But it’s routine for him, so he’s used to the terrible smell- as well as his parents being knocked out in two different parts of the house. The first rule is obviously to never wake any of them up. The second is to deal with whatever comes with the consequences if he does.

But he’s not going to wake them up, so he doesn’t have to think about that. They’ll probably be sleeping all day at this rate, and so he isn’t going to interfere. He just waters the dying plants around the house as quietly as possible, making sure they can live to see another day.

Until there’s a knock on his door.

He jumps in surprise, a bit of water splashing out of his little watering can. The can itself knocks into a shelf and he swears he can see his life flash before his very eyes due to the sudden loud noises. He looks at his dad. He’s still snoring and hasn’t moved a muscle. He looks up at the stairs and hears no loud stomping in anger. It’s fine, everything’s fine. His routine hasn’t been ruined. Both of his parents are still sleeping.

He puts his watering can on the dining table before rushing over to the front door. He doesn’t want whoever’s behind it to leave so soon- considering he can’t exactly respond to them without waking anyone up. He struggles with the five locks they have (he’s given up questioning why they have so many), only leaving the door chain connected. He opens the door so a crack of the inside could be shown.

“Huh?” he mumbles, “President?”

“Good morning, Aoi~” the sun shines on the back of the exorcist, making him look like some sort of blessed angel returning home from their daily duties. If the sun had a favorite, that would most definitely be Teru. He’s golden- the prettiest boy Akane thinks he’s ever seen. Though that favoritism comes with painful burns and pressure. No one is purely perfect, not even with the love of everyone in the world. (Especially not Teru.)

“Morning,” Akane narrows his eyes a bit. “Hold on, give me a second..” he closes the door to remove the chain. He glances back at his dad. Nothing’s going to happen. He won’t wake up just yet. So Akane steps outside, closing the door behind him so no further light enters his house. “Do you need something? It’s pretty early in the morning, I didn’t expect you to be at my door..”

“Ahaha, looks like someone’s tired~” Teru ruffles his hair with a gentle smile, “Did you sleep late last night? It seems you’ve just woken up,”

“Sort of.. It was loud yesterday,” Akane shrugs, smiling back in response. “Complaining about my appearance and messing with my hair doesn’t really answer my question, you know,”

“Ah, right,” the blonde clears his throat, “If you aren’t too busy,” he pauses, “and are willing to change out of those pajamas of yours,” Akane flusters up, “would you like to go on a walk for me?”

“A walk?” Akane tilts his head to the side, crossing his arms as he speaks. “And for your information, I just woke up- like you said. I didn’t have to answer the door and I could’ve left you standing here all by yourself,”

“Pardon me, Aoi.. I didn’t mean to insult your cute little cat pajamas-”

“Shut up,” he hisses, huffing his cheeks ever so slightly.

“Right, once again. My apoooologies~” Teru keeps smiling. It’s genuine, just how Akane likes it. Akane’s been acting more like himself, too, now that he thinks about it. (Ever since what happened in June.. no, he doesn’t want to think about it. All he needs to keep in mind is that they’ve been getting closer. More comfortable with each other. It’s almost like.. Teru is worried something might just-) “A walk to wake you up a bit,”

“What’s the catch?”

“What is it with you always assuming I need something else?” he pouts, “Well, if you insist on knowing.. I finished my exorcist duties a few hours ago and would like to relax with you for a bit. Just the two of us, alone together~”

“Don’t make it weird..” Akane mumbles. He rolls his eyes as his heart flutters in his chest. (Alone, together.. I love the sound of that, you don’t even understand. He thinks to himself. But maybe, just maybe- Teru does understand. Actually, who is he kidding? Now he’s getting his hopes up, all because of a few words and a dumb smile.) “Sure, we can go on a walk as long as you’re willing to wait out here while I go change,”

“I don’t mind if you go out with those clothes of yours- owch,” Teru shakes his head after Akane nudges him, pretending to be hurt. “I’ll wait out here for as long as you need me to~ take your time,”

“I will, that way I have to see you for a less amount of time,”

“You love spending time with me~”

Akane sticks his tongue out at him before heading back inside.

“Aoi?”

“What?”

“Are you sure that’s what you want to wear?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Is there a problem, Minamoto-kaichou?”

“No, of course not~ you look fine. It’s just not everyday I see someone wearing a sweatshirt and jeans in the summer weather,”

“Says you,” Akane rolls his eyes, “You wore a t-shirt in the snow, I don’t need your feedback. It’s very hypocritical if you ask me. Plus, I’m not going to get a cold from this.” he likes his silly outfit. “Now, if you’ll excuse me..”

“Excuse us,” Teru corrects him before reaching over for his hand, “don’t forget, you’re walking with me!~”

“Very reluctantly,”

“I can see right through you~”

“You suck.”

“Tell yourself whatever makes you feel happier~” he clicks his tongue as they begin to walk along. The sun is shining on them both- Teru doesn’t need any of its light. Akane needs it all, but it refuses to hit him, leaving him still a bit cold. Or maybe it’s his heat resistance. He’s always cold. “Speaking of feeling.. How are you feeling, Aoi?”

“Huh?”

“It’s been a month since.. a certain something happened,” Akane knows exactly what he’s talking about. He swallows dryly. “And I’ve just been wondering how you’re holding up about it,”

“I’m.. uhm,”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Teru adds, “I don’t want to pressure you, of course. It’s just.. not common that something like that happens. There’s often side effects that come after and I need to make sure you’re healthy,”

“You’ve never cared about that sort of thing, president.. I’m a little surprised considering you know nothing about health. That’s usually my thing,” Akane mumbles, “I’m doing fine, I guess? I don’t know, I don’t really like thinking about it.”

“I suppose I was a bit concerned and did a bit of research,” he’s even more surprised hearing that. Teru was so worried about him despite him ending up just fine. Physically, at least. “Do you have any trouble breathing as of current?”

“No, I don’t,” he shakes his head, “I’m fine. Never knew our president could be so worrisome,”

“I have every reason to be worried about you, Aoi,” Teru hums, “You never look out for yourself. Even if there was something seriously wrong, you wouldn’t come out about it until it gets terrible and somebody else notices,”

Akane blinks.

Teru is right. That’s exactly what he does. When he gets sick, he never mentions a word to anybody and pushes through it until he can’t anymore. When he gets hurt, he treats it briefly before pretending nothing happened. Even now, he’s refusing to tell anybody about his designated lifespan until it actually happens. He won’t tell anyone. He can’t tell anyone. It’s just in his nature.

“I don’t do that,”

(He’s stupid.)

“You don’t do that?” Teru chuckles, “You can’t ever fool me~ you know I can’t do that to you, either. So won’t you just be honest with me?”

“I guess I do it sometimes?” Akane mumbles, “But I am being honest, seriously. Don’t worry about me, Minamoto-kaichou- you didn’t expect me to do a ton of research, too?”

“Oh, I did~ I just didn’t know if you’d take it seriously because it has to do with you,”

“Tch.. well, I did take it seriously for your information,” he looks to his side, “Look, can I buy you something to shut you up about it? I don’t.. like you being so worried about it, or something..” he hopes he dies sooner because of the way his voice gets smaller and smaller. His feelings are so obvious, it’s a pain.

“Ah, at the mall?” Teru looks to the side as well. This is the same path Akane took in May while on his way to the park- so he decides to take advantage of it. Meaning he changes the topic and avoids it at all costs. Maybe Teru’s behavior is rubbing off on him. “I’m the taller and older one here, I think I should be paying~” thankfully, Teru must’ve sensed his discomfort and went along with it. It’s an unspoken agreement between them. Sometimes pushing is necessary- sometimes it’s better to leave things be.

“That doesn’t apply to this,” Akane begins to drag them in the direction of the entrance, “I’m buying you a new outfit. I can’t be seen walking around with you if you have.. that.. on,”

“Eh? Is there a problem? I didn’t make fun of your cat pajamas-”

“Will you stop mentioning those? That’s why you’re not allowed to go to my house, you asshole! I wasn’t dressed yet!” he huffs with a flustered expression. (Of course, there’s also further reasoning. He shouldn’t be out of the house without permission, his mom is going to be furious once she finds out. She’d yell at both him and Teru without a filter.) “And there is a problem, yeah! Your ugly fruit fashion is the reason I have nightmares!”

“You’re having nightmares? Would you like me to kiss them away?” he nudges into Teru once again, “Yowch~ tough crowd, hm? Well, if my fruit attire is that much of a problem..”

“Which it is,”

“..ahem, as I was saying.. don’t be rude, Aoi~” Teru chuckles, nudging Akane back. “If it’s that much of a problem, why don’t you try dressing me?”

“Gladly!” Akane snickers in response, a soft blush plastered on his freckled cheeks. He thinks Teru might be staring at them- there’s a mesmerizing look on his face. One of love and admiration. He likes that- but he looks away so Teru doesn’t notice the blush in the process. He needs to confess at the right time, not be found out at some random moment. “I’m not really good with fashion and all that, but I do know a bit.. No.3 always insists I dress better, so-”

“No.3?” Teru stifles a laugh, and so Akane’s heart skips a beat in response. He can see Teru’s fangs- how much redder can his face get? He’s about to find out. “Oh, my deaaar~ are you letting yourself get bullied by one of the weakest mysteries?”

“No, of course not!” Akane huffs, giving Teru’s hand a light squeeze. He doesn’t say anything about the pet name, but his heart is definitely losing it as he speaks. “I have to see him every so often because Mirai thinks it’s fun to mess with him! I have to be the one to pick her up and get scolded for letting her run off.. sometimes he gives me lessons on dressing better because apparently I look like I don’t. Which, I do..”

“Don’t let him tease you too much~ I’ll exorcize him the second you request it,” Akane genuinely cannot tell if he’s joking. It sounds like a joke, but then again- this is Teru. “I think you dress just fine~ so don’t dress me in No.3’s style. I don’t mind pink, of course, it just isn’t quite my favorite~”

“Awh, that sucks. That was soooo what I was planning for today, too. You’re ruining my day, president,” Akane playfully rolls his eyes, “I just know this shop Aoi-chan told me about, it has a few things out of my wardrobe.. but I don’t go out often, so I don’t get the chance to wear any of it.”

“I should randomly appear at your doorstep early in the morning more often then, hm?”

“I’d prefer you don’t, I’ll get my ass in trouble for sneaking out with the neighborhood’s stray dog,” he lets out a sudden shutter. “God, it’s cold in here..”

“Cold? I think I’m still burning~” Teru hums, “This store seems nice, I’ve never actually been to this mall~”

“I don’t go here often, I think I’ve just been here a few times.. So don’t worry,” Akane shrugs. Lemon’s mom brought him here once or twice- and Aoi and I would walk by it sometimes. “I’ll dress you just fine, if that’s something you’re also worried about. My abilities aren’t terrible,”

“Eh? I’d never doubt your skills, Aoi~”

“You doubt them all the time,” he begins to drag Teru along to the men’s clothing section. They’ve been holding hands for so long- Akane’s heart is still racing about it. He prays his hand hasn’t gotten disgusting and sweaty. He prays Teru is not thinking that’s embarrassing. “I usually wear a lot of layers, maybe you should dress yourself? I think you’d overheat if I chose something in my style for you,”

“Mmh,” Teru thinks for a moment, “It’s fine, I don’t mind~ maybe I can save the clothes for the winter~”

“Okay I-wear-shorts-in-the-winter-Minamoto-kaichou. As if you’d ever willingly wear something warm in the winter..”

“I wore your scarf when you gave it to me~”

“Keyword, me. I put it on for you. Otherwise you wouldn’t have bothered thinking about whether you’d get sick or not,”

“I never get sick~”

“Just wait until next winter, see if a cold catches you off guard..” he huffs, (as if Akane would be around to see that happen. He hopes he is, at the very least. He hopes he’s around long enough to see Teru get better at taking care of himself.) “But anyways, as long as you’re fine with it.. I’ll dress you. Come on,”

“Lead the way,”

“Are you sure this is what you want me to wear?”

“Yes, I’m sure. Do you not like my style or what?”

“It’s not that, ahaha~ I’ve just..” Teru steps out of a changing room with a red colored face. Akane’s heart practically jumps out of his chest at the sight. “I don’t think I’ve ever worn something like this?”

“W-Well,” Akane clears his throat, earning the same deep blush on his own cheeks. “I won’t always be dressing you, or something.. so you can either appreciate it or not,”

“It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I just..”

“Wait, now I see it.. you look like you came straight out of one of Yashiro-san’s cliché Pinterest boards..” he quickly covers his eyes, “Maybe that’s why she and No.3 get along pretty well.. that’s- uhm..”

“I like it, Aoi, don’t worry so much! It’s alright!” Teru blurts out. Akane doesn’t ever think he’s seen the boy so flustered before, but he can’t blame Teru; he too would be blushing like crazy if he was dressed like an internet microcelebrity. A black shirt and an unbuttoned plaid long sleeve shirt on top- accompanied with some black jeans and a belt. Where did everything go wrong? Would he even wear this himself? He does care to impress, but this is a little much. “This isn’t quite something I’d wear often myself, so I’d like to see you in this, too,”

“You want to see me in it?” Akane jerks back, “Huh?? Why? That’s!-”

“Don’t you think it’d be nice if we matched? How nice it’d be if-”

“No way in hell, president!”

“Pleaaase?”

“I said no-”

“For meee?”

“Tch..” he pauses, “Give me a second to go find a pair for myself..”

“Hooraaaay~”

And so, he walks off towards the same section they were at previously. Akane doesn’t actually mind matching with Teru, of course- but it’s a plus that he gets to see more of that genuine smile more often.

He makes sure to get the clothes in his size, as Teru is taller than him by a handful of inches- and he doesn’t want to embarrass himself any further. Sure, Teru’s smile is worth a lot, but it is not worth Akane’s self confidence that took him forever to build up.

“I’m back,” he folds his clothes neatly and places them on a bench, putting them right beside some ugly fruit clothes Akane refused to let Teru try on. “They were pretty easy to find, actually. We just need to wait for a dressing room to be available, I don’t wanna buy things that might not actually fit me-”

“Aoi?”

“Hm?” he looks in the direction of one of the dressing rooms, “Oh, Yamabuki-kun.. I didn’t know you were here. Hey,”

“Hey,” Lemon awkwardly clears his throat. By the looks of it, he was probably shopping with his mother. He has a bunch of scrunched up clothes in his arms, in a way only he would roll them in a terribly messy ball. “Look, can we talk for a sec?”

“Uh..” Akane glances in the direction of Teru’s stall. He hasn’t gotten a response yet, so he assumes Teru is trying on other clothes. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?” of course, he knows what’s up- he can play stupid all he wants. This is about the incident in June.

“I wanted to apologize to you again,” Lemon mumbles, “Like, you know I’m not.. really good at apologies, or whatever, but I understand if you’re avoiding me because of what I did,” at least he’s taking responsibility for it. Akane’s glad- he knows Lemon is painfully honest most of the time, so this apology is true. “If you wanna stop being friends, or something..”

“I don’t,” Akane frowns, “Sorry for interrupting, that was.. rude, uhm..” he takes a deep breath after, “It’s not that I..”

“Is he bothering you?”

“..huh?” he blinks, “Oh, president- no, he’s not-” he watches as the color drains from Lemon’s face. After what happened before- he can see why Lemon would feel so intimidated. Despite the two being around the same height, Teru can definitely be terrifying at times. “We were just-”

“I was apologizing,”

“Is that so?” Teru glares at Lemon. Akane is definitely not ready to defuse another fight. He’s running on four hours of sleep and thirty one nightmares. He didn’t see this coming one bit. “Don’t get so close, then. You can apologize from a distance. Don’t put him in any more danger.”

“I’m not close, and I’m not gonna put him in danger. I’d never do that again,” Lemon swallows nervously, “Come on, man.. can I just talk to Aoi alone? It’ll only be for a bit. This is a pretty important conversation- Aoi, send your guard dog away before he mauls me alive,”

“Guard dog?” Akane’s face flushes red, “He’s not my guard dog, and he isn’t going to maul you alive, either. Don’t be overdramatic, he’s just..” actually, he doesn’t know what Teru is doing- so he doesn’t know how to defend him. “Minamoto-kaichou, could you go for a few minutes? You know, you can’t walk around in store clothes until we buy them either, so..”

“Hm,” Teru softens, “Okay~ but call me over if you need anything,” he then walks back into his dressing room.

“Jesus.. Fucking Christ,” Lemon clutches onto his arms with a sigh of relief, “I thought I was a goner!”

“Don’t say that,” Akane crosses his own, “You act as if he was actually going to do something,”

“He looked like he was going to kill me!”

“He wouldn’t,”

“You’re just defending him because you’re like, his number one fan!”

“I am not, I’m actually his number one hater. You got that wrong, Yamabuki,”

“His fan or not- he is so damn in love with you and it is fucking horrifying the shit out of me,”

“Minamoto-kaichou? In love with me?!” he whisper-yells, “Don’t say that! He could hear you!”

“What?! It’s true! That guy would kill for you if you asked him to!”

“Huh?? He-”

“Anyway, before he comes out here and threatens my life nonverbally.. back to our topic!” Lemon clears his throat, “What was I trying to say? Oh, yeah, uh,” he clasps his hands together, screwing his eyes shut. “If you don’t wanna be friends anymore, that’s fine- I just want you to know I’m really sorry,”

“Right, uhm.. you’re my best friend,” Akane narrows his eyes at the boy in front of him, “I’d never want to stop being friends with you. What you did was an accident,” he’s always held grudges- but he just can’t seem to hate the people close to him, no matter how wrong they’ve treated him. Once he’s attached, there’s just no going back. Not that Lemon has treated him badly, of course. Just a few others. “I’m not mad,”

“Really?”

“Well, actually, I’m still kind of mad, if I’m telling you the truth..” he mumbles afterwards. At least he’s being honest? “But I get it, you didn’t mean to. I should’ve told you I couldn’t swim, I didn’t know when to bring it up,”

“I get that, man. Sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me or anything,”

“It’s not like that at all, I was just.. embarrassed,”

“That’s the Aoi I know, too embarrassed to speak up about the smallest shit..” Lemon snickers a little, “So, err.. we’re still friends?”

“Obviously,”

“Alright, nice. I gotta rush back to my mom, though- she’s like, waiting for me at the food court..” he gives a thumbs up, “See you later?”

“Yeah, see you. I have your mom’s number, I’ll text her when I’m coming over,”

“Nice, nice,” he smiles, “See you,”

“Mhm,”

Akane lets out a sigh of relief. He was dreading that conversation for some reason, considering he saw it coming from a mile away- there was probably no avoiding it. There was no avoiding Lemon forever, either. Not that he wanted to, anyway. He’s glad they got to talk about it.

Lemon really is his best friend. Akane can’t forgive and forget, but he can try to accept. He figures it’s close enough. He won’t be anxious about it forever, he won’t need to see an ocean ever again. Everything’s fine and he solved the misunderstanding.

“Minamoto-kaichou, you can come out now,”

Well, he solved most of the misunderstandings. He just doesn’t understand why Teru decided to intervene.

(It’s not like Teru does, either. He doesn’t understand what he’s been feeling recently. After witnessing Akane in a state so close to death- something’s been feeling odd. But Akane won’t know, and Teru won’t get to figure it out. Or maybe he already knows and is pushing the feeling back. Worry and, something perhaps close to..)

Teru peeks his head out of the dressing room, “Hi, Aoi~”

“Hello, president,” Akane rolls his eyes playfully. Teru had good intentions- or at least he hopes so. “We’re done talking already, he left to the registers,”

“How’d it go?”

“The conversation?” he tilts his head to the side, “It went fine, we’re still friends. Yamabuki wasn’t trying to.. hurt me, you know. You don’t have to be so worried for me, it’s not like he’s going to almost kill me every time he comes near me,”

“Mmh..” Teru blinks, “Alright. Well, back to our outfits~” there’s definitely another reason for his actions he isn’t telling Akane about, but he’s just going to change the topic and move on. Akane wants to huff about it, but he also wants to go back to seeing Teru’s smile- he’ll find out eventually, anyway. “Try yours on!”

“I’m going, I’m going..”

“Ah, it seems it’s time for me to head home..”

“Already? You don’t want anything from the food court? We haven’t eaten breakfast yet..”

“I’m afraid I can’t~ I don’t exactly have the time, I need to be home before Tiara is up. You could come too if you’d like, I’m sure Kou will make you something to eat~”

“Oh, no, it’s fine- I should get home in case one of my parents wake up, anyway,”

Akane hums softly. After tons of denied requests of purchasing pineapple like clothing (and several ugly looking articles ending up being purchased because of Teru’s begging), an hour or two had passed by. He isn’t surprised that Teru has to go- Teru is a very busy person after all.

“Awh, alright~ it was nice hanging out with you, then, Aoi,”

“It was nice hanging out with you too,” he mumbles. “Bye, president,”

“Goodbye~”

“Wait,” he can’t help but reach for Teru’s hand once he begins to walk away. “I- I need to tell you something,” their hangout was close enough to a date, wasn’t it? He can consider it that, right? If he excludes Lemon, just maybe. This is so awfully cliché- he’s regretting his decision already. “I..”

“Eh?” Teru pauses, “Hold on, Kou’s calling me~ give me a moment,”

Akane lets go.

Yikes. That’s awkward. He hopes he explodes while walking home. That is single-handedly one of the most embarrassing things he’s ever experienced. He wishes he never opened his mouth. That’s one way to distract his thoughts from a certain incident- clouding his mind with newer embarrassing ones. And he thought thinking of Teru constantly was embarrassing enough; this is a bit worse.

“Tiara went into the kitchen?” he hears Teru say to the boy on the phone, “What’s the problem- hm? She what? Ah..” Teru then turns to him. “I have to go, Aoi.. Tiara created an absolute mess in the kitchen, ahaha~ apologies, I won’t get to walk you home.. but what is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“Oh,” Akane looks away, continuing with a scoff. “I just wanted to say not to wear your ugly fruit stuff anymore now that you have new clothes,”

“How thoughtful for you to be looking out for me this way~” Teru chuckles, “Well, I’m off now~ goodbye, again~”

“Goodbye,”

Akane wonders how bad Tiara’s mess was considering Teru rushes out as fast as he can. The girl is similar to Teru- she has good intentions with the worst executions. If she burnt down their house, he wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe Kou is the only one capable of cooking.

He giggles a little at the thought before going back to mentally mourning over his actions.

When Akane gets home, the first thing he does is wash the clothes he bought. He needs to make sure there’s no leftover germs from anyone else who tried the clothes on. Though he’s not too fond of dressing like a Pinterest idol- maybe he needs to ask Nene for better advice, considering Mitsuba loves to mess with him.

By the time he’s done, his parents are still snoring. He’s free to do whatever he wants for the day.

That just so happens to be whining about being embarrassed. Oh well. It sucks to be him.

(He has 5 months left.)

Chapter Text

“Stop moving so much,”

“Mirai isn’t moving,”

“Yes, you are. I can see you kicking your feet. You’re going to tangle your hair.. I just brushed it out and I’m not going to finish braiding it if you keep- ah.. achoo!”

“Ewwh! Akane just sneezed in Mirai’s hair!”

“Dammit.. I mean, I can’t say that- dang it. Sorry,”

“That’s the fifth time todaaaay!”

“I said sorry!”

“Akane is soooo mean! So mean, so mean!”

“Don’t start with that..”

Akane huffs as he reaches over for another tissue. That’s the third box he’s had to use today- first he had to take a packet of tissues from Suzuto (destroying his ego in the process), then another from Lemon (destroying it even more), and now even Kako’s providing him with them (that’s the final blow, his self confidence is absolutely nothing now). His nose has been running since the morning and his throat is so raspy. He’s been out of water for hours.

He’d fallen ill.

Not the dying sort of ill. It’s not that bad, and it’s not the end of the world. That would just be his thoughts tricking him into staying home from school, which, of course, he’d never ever do. Akane is perfectly fine.

Well, other than the minor fact that he caught a fever and it’s been ruining him inside and out. About a week ago, someone in his class sneezed on him- causing him to spiral and panic because of the amount of germs that were just plastered onto his skin and absorbed into his body. When nothing actually happened, he felt relieved; until two days before today when he started feeling the sickness kick in. He’s been dealing with it since and it hasn’t gotten better in the slightest, yet he refuses to stay home.

He can’t stay home, especially considering school just started recently. It’d be a disappointment if the high school division’s vice president and role model stayed home just for a silly fever. He can’t take on that title- he can’t be a disappointment. He’s had enough of hearing that.

“Is Akane almost doooone?”

“Almost, Mirai. Be a little more patient,”

Oh, and it’s also his responsibility to watch over the little supernatural who runs around the school like there’s no tomorrow. He doesn’t have to clean as much anymore- just maybe once or twice a month when he has the time. The only thing he’s actually assigned is to make sure Mirai doesn’t ruin students' lives by making them old and ugly.

It’s no secret that he cares for her- peeling her apple slices, braiding her hair, bringing her sweets- it’s basically been his job to play parent and big brother since he was twelve years old. The only thing is that she hasn’t changed no matter how many years pass by. (But in the end, neither has he. He’s always had to play the role of parent, even in his own household. Who’s going to take care of his parents when they come home completely unaware of their surroundings? It has to be him. It’s always him. They just don’t come home often anymore. They’re busy with other people, other things more important than him.)

“What color ribbon do you want?”

“Mirai wants teal,”

“Teal it is, then. You always choose teal.. you know I have all these other colors for a reason, right?”

“Mirai likes teal,”

“Next time I’ll just buy you teal colored accessories,”

He doesn’t mind being her caretaker. It gives him something to do after school- an excuse not to go home. He also likes to make her happy, but he doesn’t like thinking about that part because it makes him feel embarrassed.

“There we go. All done,” Akane says with a smile, a short cough following. Maybe he should make a stop at the corner store for medicine on his way home. He isn’t sure if supernaturals can get sick or not, he doesn’t want to put Mirai in any sort of danger. “You know the rules. Don’t pull the ribbon or-”

“Or Akane won’t remake the braid,” Mirai smiles back, hugging him in response. “Okay! Mirai’s gonna go play with Kako now,”

“Don’t do anything that’ll upset him,” the former replies, hugging her back and spinning her around briefly. She’s pretty easy to lift off the ground since she’s basically a five year old- plus, Akane is stronger in his clock keeper form. He would’ve been struggling otherwise considering he’s sick. “I’ll be here tomorrow, as always. Stay out of trouble, Mirai,”

“Okay, okay!”

He lets out a small sigh as she rushes off. He’s going to miss her, no doubt about it- if he feels like he needs to do a little more to make her happy the second she leaves for a bit, he knows it’s going to be so much worse later. For every seasonal break they have, he’ll see her less- and she’ll see him less. He doesn’t know if Mirai will miss him, too. She’s a supernatural and has probably watched countless humans die before, as that’s just how the future works- you live, and you die- yet that’s not even mentioning the other former clock keepers she’s bonded with. Maybe she was closer with them than she is to him. He doesn’t really know, but he hopes that might be the case. He loves her like a little sister and cares for her dearly- so he hopes she won’t have to mourn and will be able to get over it quickly.

Though he would feel sad if she wasn’t the slightest bit upset, that’s fine. As long as she can keep a smile on her face, he can deal with the consequences of his own wishes.

He rubs his eyes briefly. He’s done thinking about that. Not only is it making him feel bad, but it’s reminding him that his very few friends will or will never notice his disappearance- he’s not sure which one he wants. He wants his parents to sob and mourn, but it’s out of spite. He wants Suzuto and Lemon to be blissfully aware. He doesn’t even want Teru to know.

He just wants to disappear without a trace.

He blinks.

What is he thinking? He doesn’t want to disappear at all. The more he thinks about it, the worse his thoughts sound- he needs to do something about his fate. He’s going to change it with his own two hands, no matter what it takes. He’s going to live. He’s going to prove himself to the world- he still has a use despite his weakened body.

He briefly checks the time on his watch. It’s sometime around three thirty.

He still has time.

He speedwalks towards the library in his human form, the glasses on his face almost falling off with every step he takes. School is already out, so thankfully the hallways aren’t flooded. He walks straight past the student council room- he’ll figure out a good excuse for Teru later. Maybe he’ll bring up the fact that he’s sick, but Teru will be able to see right through that. Or maybe he could say he was too tired? No, Teru wouldn’t believe that either.. whatever he chooses, he’ll choose it later. Right now he can still make it on time if he goes as fast as he can while seeming normal.

“Aoi-kun,”

“Tsuchigomori-sensei,”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,”

Akane takes a deep breath, a coughing fit following right after.

“Are you sure? Do you need me to write you a note to the nurse? She stays here for a while after school, I’m sure she can provide you with some cough medicine if necessary,”

“I’m sure, I don’t need.. a note or anything like that,”

He clears his throat. It’s very embarrassing to do that in front of one of your old teachers- he pushes up his glasses with his hand before pushing his palms against Tsuchigomori’s desk. What a way to make an entrance.

“Ah,” the librarian blinks, “What can I help you with, then?”

“What do you know about the books in the 4 PM Bookstacks?”

“Oh, that’s what this is about,” he glances at the clock, “Haven’t you heard the rumors, No.1?” Now that they’re talking about the mysteries, the names used for Akane switch. He hates that. He isn’t School Mystery Number One. He’s just a student who signed a contract- he just wasn’t aware it’d mess with his future and fate.

“I have, but-”

“Are you looking for something in particular, then?”

Akane takes a deep breath. It’s better he’s straightforward and honest. He needs to get his point across- or else he’ll mess with fate in a way he doesn’t want to. Who knows, maybe his life will be shorter if he reads the wrong page and prevents the wrong thing?

“I want to read my book,” he clenches his fists slightly, “and change the course of my future and fate.”

“Woah, woah, woah.. wait just a moment there,” Tsuchigomori adjusts his glasses, intimidation seeping from his every action. Akane takes a step back out of impulse. “Did you say change?”

“Yes, I did,”

“Is there a reason for this?”

“N-No..” Akane curses at himself mentally for stuttering. He’s definitely making it obvious. “No, sensei, there’s not.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm, I’m just curious about my.. future,”

“It’s not everyday someone sounds so demanding about alternating their life like that, not to mention changing their reasoning halfway through. If you were just curious, you wouldn’t need to change anything about your future..” Tsuchigomori raises an eyebrow, “Is there something you’re not telling me, No.1?”

“That’s not it,” Akane takes a deep breath, (What a bunch of bullshit. There’s something you’re not telling me, Tsuchigomori-sensei. You’re the one who knows my future, yet you’ve never said a word about my death. You’ve never even warned me. I had to learn from a girl in tears and an old man who doesn’t care about me.) “I just want to know, that’s all. I swear,” he has his bandage-covered fingers crossed behind his back. “If I could just-”

“You can’t do anything about what’s going to happen,”

Akane lets out a small, frustrated sigh. This is not going as he planned- and he’s upset about it, obviously. He thought about the conversation so carefully nights before, yet this still ended up unraveling.

“But you have to understand-” he speaks up, “I need-”

“I said no, No.1. Go home,”

He looks down at his shoes with blurry vision.

“I’m sorry about your future,” he hears Tsuchigomori say, “But it’s going to end that way no matter what you do. It doesn’t matter if you change every single thing in your life, you’re still going to-”

“Don’t say it,” Akane mumbles, his voice cracking ever so slightly as he speaks. He can’t help but sniffle- but he’s not sure what it might be from. He tells himself it’s just because he’s sick. That’s definitely it. “Don’t.”

“Apologies,” he can’t help but huff when he feels his hair get awkwardly ruffled. He doesn’t need reassurance. He doesn’t need comfort. (But he desires it more than anything. The attention, the caring voices..) “Just don’t mess with things you know you don’t understand. Go get some rest, Aoi-kun. You need it, don’t let that sickness of yours get any worse.”

“It’s a minor fever,” he wipes his eyes briefly, “I’ll leave,”

“Good to know,” Tsuchigomori hums, “I have to see someone now, a student of mine needs assistance on his homework.” He walks towards the two doors of the library, “So close the doors on your way out.”

“Okay,” Akane nods, “I will,”

Akane does not, in fact, close the doors on his way out.

Rubbing his nose after sneezing for the fifty-seventh time that day, he wanders around the library in search of a butterfly. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be looking for it, or if it just appears on his own- he should have asked Nene in advance. She’s gone to the 4 PM Bookstacks before; Akane has no experience with it other than Aoi mentioning it due to rumors. He does know that it’s supernaturally involved, though, so he has his glasses put away.

The library is dusty- not many people have entered it by the looks of it. If Akane could, he’d reorganize it from top to bottom to satisfy the tidy urges in his brain. Though Tsuchigmori would never let him, and he’d never really have the time to do it himself. It’s really such a shame.

He passes by a small table with three books on it, presumably those of a group of friends who were reading together. He stares a little too long in envy- he doesn’t have any friends to read with. Teru’s too busy, Suzuto’s always talking to others, Aoi’s out of the picture, and Lemon doesn’t even like to read.

He huffs and makes sure to close all the books on the table before he walks on, forcing the owners to look through the book if they want to find what place they left off on. (What a petty asshole. Though Akane’s never been as nice as he seems- it was all a persona to be well liked by the people around him. He’s not that sweet vice president everyone knows him as. If they knew him well enough, they’d know he doesn’t consider himself sweet at all. He’s not a bad person, but he’s not the best person either.) He regrets it slightly, but moves on. He can’t do anything about it. What’s done has been done, and you can’t change the past. (That’ll be important to note for later.)

He then passes by a few bookmarks on the ground. He’s not sure why they’re there, but it has this odd and sad atmosphere around it- he avoids getting too close.

He continues to walk around with his arms crossed. It should be 4 PM any minute now, yet he still can’t-

A beautiful black butterfly passes by him by chance. It has a pink and green pattern on its wings and flies gracefully in a straight path towards something. Though it doesn’t look like any other butterfly Akane has seen before- it looks more.. supernatural. It sounds odd to say, but he’s part supernatural, so he can just tell.

His eyes widen before he chases after it, following it wherever it needs to go. He stumbles at first, suppressing the need to cough to make sure he doesn’t lose it. He hates bugs, but just this once he’ll make an exception.

The butterfly flutters onto a specific book. In the blink of an eye, a door appears- blinding him for a moment or two. There’s an odd sort of mist drifting around it, possibly dust- he doesn’t care what it is, he can’t hold in his coughs because of it.

Supernatural stuff is weird.

He sighs before putting his hand on the doorknob hesitantly. He glances around with those tired, sickly eyes of his.

Is he doing the right thing?

He looks at the entrance doors. He isn’t really sure if what he’s doing is right- he knows for sure it isn’t morally okay, considering he’s doing this without permission and going against the rules of the librarian- but it’s still okay in a way, considering he’s just an idiot child trying to survive. His original plan was ruined, so he has to try a different method.

Tsuchigomori did tell him his efforts would be useless, almost forcing the tears pricking in his eyes slip out- leaving him with the feeling of needing to give up. He’s going through the several stages of grief as the year goes by, though there’s just one thing about Akane.

He never gets past the first stage. Denial has him in a chokehold.

He opens the door and steps inside, closing the door behind him with a small cough. His thoughts are screaming at him and telling him he’s terrible for not listening to the rules, but he’s going to die soon, isn’t he? What’s the point of being a listener? A goody-two-shoes as Lemon would call him?

Tsuchigomori won’t find out. He’s only there to get his book and go home.

Right, that’s all he has to do. Get the book and leave. Not be amazed by the tons of books surrounding him in the slightest.

He lets out a small gasp as he takes a look around. The 4 PM Bookstacks aren’t lively in the slightest- they belong to a supernatural, after all- they look dead if anything. There aren’t any people around and the atmosphere gives off this unnerving aura. Though Akane can’t help but feel interested; each of these books belong to someone who either went to or currently attends Kamome Gakuen. It contains their past, present, and future- he can’t help but feel a bit curious.

Maybe he can find out a bit more on why Suzuto has gotten quieter over the years? Why did his teasing become reserved to those he knows well? Did something happen during their separation in middle school? Or perhaps he can see his future with Aoi? Will they ever talk again? Will she ever truly forgive him for lying to her all those years? Will he forgive her in return? Can he check how Lemon really feels about him? Does he see him as a friend? Does he see Akane as a rude, disgusting, pathetic, vice president with a stupid persona?

Can he read about Teru's past?

Akane blinks. That’s terrible. He shouldn’t be thinking that- that’s an invasion of privacy, Teru would want him dead if he ever even thought about actually doing such a thing. Teru would never want to talk to him ever again. Teru would hate him.

He swallows nervously. The curiosity is eating at his brain, leaving little to nothing left. A quick peek couldn’t hurt, right? Teru won’t know. Akane is a selfish person; he just wants to learn. He wants to understand why Teru is the way he is.

He knows a lot already. He feels like he shouldn’t know any more, that maybe, just maybe- he doesn’t deserve to know any more. Teru doesn’t want anyone knowing too much, and Akane knows that, but he just can’t help it.

He finds himself holding a book with the name ‘Minamoto Teru’ imprinted on the side.

He opens it quietly.

‘Month X, Day O

Teru finds himself crossing the path of Akane Aoi for the first time. He stares a little too long and prays Akane doesn’t notice. Something about him makes Teru feel a certain way.

Teru finds himself thinking of the teal and red eyes once he gets home. He can tell Akane is supernatural, or at least not completely human, yet he saves that conversation for the next day. He thinks about the Akane’s for a different reason- something much sweeter.’

Akane feels his cheeks flush. Is he reading the right part? He’s trying to find out about Teru’s past, that’s all. Of course, this counts, but this isn’t quite what he had in mind. He skips another chunk.

‘Month V, Day Q

Teru settles on the thought of finding Akane relaxing. Though he wasn’t ever quite in denial, he just didn’t bother thinking about it. He thinks an exorcist doesn’t have the time for that, though he does think he wants to make the time for Akane. He passes by Akane’s house when he walks home from his exorcist duties, soaked in his own blood. He passes out the second he gets to his room. Not a single wound of his will be tended to. It’s routine.’

He shuts the book.

He feels guilty already. Akane wants to put the book back and forget he saw anything. Sure, it’s nice to know Teru doesn’t currently hate him and feels relaxed around him, but it isn’t nice to read a book about everything his crush has ever experienced. If Teru were to read about him, he thinks he’d hide forever. If Teru knew the true him, the much younger and quieter Akane who just wanted his parents and friends to tell him they’re proud of him- he’d feel embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Teru was praised growing up, Akane doesn’t think he’d ever understand while being so well-liked. He thinks Teru would look down upon him. (But Teru could never think less of him, no matter how he used to be- no matter how he currently is.)

He does end up putting the book back in its original position. He can’t help but feel terrible about himself as he walks towards his own book- no one’s there to scold him or tell him off for doing something wrong, but now he’ll carry the regret. That’s one thing less to look forward to when he dies, the tons and tons of regrets he created when he was still amongst the living.

In the end, it’s his fault. He pulled the book and read two of the pages that just so happened to be about him- perhaps it was fate, perhaps it was cruel. He doesn’t know and he isn’t going to find out.

He tells himself he’s never going to mention a word of it. Maybe he’ll think about how Teru thought about his eyes or how Teru found him relaxing sometime late at night, kicking his feet and blushing like a teenage girl (he won’t do that, for clarification)- but that’s all there is to it. He definitely won’t worry two times as much about Teru’s health knowing he’s the only one who has ever helped with Teru’s wounds. He definitely won’t try to subtly take care of Teru two times as much.

Akane lets out a small sigh as he pulls out his own book once he reaches it. He has a habit of remembering his worst memories, so he has an idea of what to expect. Maybe this will be significantly worse than what he read about Teru, forcing him to forget the guilt and feel embarrassed about himself.

He flips a few pages, settling on one from when he was twelve.

‘Month A, Day N

Akane meets Teru Minamoto for the first time due to the supernatural contract he signed his life away for. Teru is pretty, and so Akane finds himself thinking all sorts of things- like some sort of boy falling in love for the first time. His thoughts can be best described by a poem.

Dear Minamoto Teru-’

He quickly flips through tons more. There’s no way in hell he’s going to read that embarrassing mistake for a poem, especially if it’s on his past thoughts on Teru- there are a lot of things he does not want to remember. What was once his puppy crush is now the guy he’s in love with- that’s embarrassing on its own.

He ends up settling for a page written about this year’s September. The rumor of the 4 PM Bookstacks says not to read past the future, but what does he care? He’s here to fix the future, after all. He doesn’t know everything about the rumor, just a few basics. That’s probably a terrible problem on its own.

‘Month V, Day B

Akane finds himself with Teru under the moonlight. The scene is-’

He huffs and flips again until he lands on December. He looks for the final day of his lifespan- the day he needs to change. He needs to see what went wrong and how he can fix it. He stares down intently, his eyes skimming over the dates of every individual page until he can find it. The pages are getting dangerously less and less. The 31st is the second to last page, for some odd reason. He’s sure he’ll find out why if he finishes reading it. He looks past the first few paragraphs and skips straight towards the end.

‘After a while of running, he finds himself standing outside the school. Of course, it was a stupid idea for him to run, but it’s more of an oh well situation now. He has to make do with what he’s already caused.

Though for whatever reason, he can feel eyes on his back. When he turns around, he can see-’

A drop of red splatters onto the name.

Akane’s face goes blank. Seriously, what the hell? That was so damn inconvenient- what if the name belonged to someone trying to hurt him? Or maybe someone trying to save his life?

He skips over the name. He can still find that part out if-

There’s several more red splotches all over the page. The scent is strong and overwhelming- his mind begins to spiral and spin. The scent is sickening. He can feel himself gag and wobble.

When he looks back at it, the entire page is soaking in a strange red liquid. It stains his hands, dripping down his wrists and onto his pants. It’s gross. This is gross.

He frowns in frustration. Nothing is going his way, and he hates it; this wasn’t supposed to happen. He knew there were probably consequences to seeing the future of his life, but still, he couldn’t have predicted this much.

He grips the page tightly with his left hand before tearing it off.

That is definitely not okay in the slightest. He has nothing to excuse his actions anymore.

He crumbles it up and throws it onto the floor. He does that to the page before, and the one before that, and the one before that one- until he lets out a choked sob of frustration. He’s crying now, isn’t he? He’s shameful. He’s already a liar, but now things just feel worse.

He drops the book and takes a step back. Maybe he is a terrible person. Maybe he does deserve his fate. Maybe-

He feels something wrap around his body.

Everything's happening so fast, he can’t even comprehend what’s going on. His chest is getting tighter and he’s being picked off the ground.

When he looks down, all he can see are butterflies, accompanied by his legs being dangled. The floor is getting farther and farther away from him.

He’s turned to face some sort of disgusting bug creature. It looks just like him, but much bigger and with its facial features covered with the exception of its mouth. It’s terrifying, if he’s being honest with himself- and he definitely can’t fight that thing on his own. It could squish him and kill him easily.

Akane’s face goes pale as his tears continue to drip down his face. Was this part of the rumor? Was he supposed to know about this part?

The supernatural opens its mouth and brings Akane closer whilst squishing him in its hand. Akane squirms and struggles, but to no avail- he’s too weak. Even if he weren’t sick, he’d fail to be set free. It’s so hard to breathe, the apparition can barely even see properly.

This is his fault for not listening.

Is it his karma for entering the boundary without permission? Perhaps for going against the rules of the mystery’s rumor? Or maybe for ripping out several of the pages?

What was that even going to do? His emotions got the best of him.

And now he’s going to get eaten alive by a butterfly monster.

There was no point in trying to change his death if he was only going to end up risking his life again. This situation is all too familiar, he feels helpless all over again. He doesn’t want to be dependent. If he just planned thoroughly like he usually does, he would’ve been fine- but no, he saved everything at the last minute. It’s very unlikely of him to do so, but now he’s stuck with the consequences.

He closes his eyes once he feels the warm breath hitting his face. At least he’s going to go out knowing a bit more about what was supposed to be his future?

He feels a sudden brush of cold air pass by him, though it’s all warm and fuzzy at the same time. His body is dropped, and now he’s falling- falling down, down, and down- until caught in someone’s arms, held close and tight.

He sucks up his tears for the sake of his self confidence. He can make an excuse for everything else, just not his emotions. Depending on who it is, he’ll need a really good excuse- but he has a feeling he already knows.

“Aoi,” and that feeling is correct. He’s not sure if that’s good or bad. “God..”

“..Minamoto-kaichou, I.. I can explain?”

“I do hope you can,” Teru doesn’t sound happy with him- but at the same time, he sounds extremely worried. He’s holding Akane with such care, after all. This isn’t the first time Teru’s had to save him from a disaster. (If Akane had a dime for every time Teru just so happened to show up when he was on the verge of death, he’d have two dimes- which isn’t a lot, but it’s odd considering it happened twice.) “What are you doing in the 4 PM Bookstacks? Are you trying to get yourself killed doing things you aren’t supposed to, hm?”

“Of course not, I.. just, uhm..”

“That book on the floor belongs to you, doesn’t it? I see you’ve learned the rules of the library, it’s soaked in blood. It seems you’ve even ripped some of the pages out,”

“Hey, I..”

“And your eyes,” Teru sighs, “Aoi, what happened here? I need you to be honest with me,”

(The mention of his eyes forces Akane’s heart to skip a beat. He remembers what he read in Teru’s book, but won’t say a thing.)

“I just.. I was curious, and..” Akane swallows nervously, “I read about my future?”

“I see that,” the exorcist hums, “And clearly you saw something you didn’t like. What were you trying to accomplish?”

“Nothing,”

Teru’s usually soft gaze is replaced by something Akane can’t understand. Suspicion, perhaps? Either way, it doesn’t feel good- and he doesn’t like it in the slightest. He misses the gentle look. The look he recognizes.

“How.. did you even find me, president?”

“Something just felt off,” Teru tells him, “I couldn’t find you anywhere else~ but then I ran into Tsuchigomori-sensei, and he mentioned you to me,”

“He ratted me out?”

“I suppose he did,” he sighs as he walks, still carrying Akane effortlessly. “But I’m so.. glad,”

“..huh?”

“Aoi,” he whispers, his voice a little shaky. “Please, be more careful. Don’t do reckless things like that, especially not when you’re by yourself,” if Akane thought Teru was super worried during June, then he definitely underestimated how worried Teru could really be. “You have to look out for yourself better, alright?”

“Minamoto-kaichou,” Akane swallows nervously, “Hey, I’m.. I’m fine, don’t be so worried..” he feels terribly guilty now. Not only did he read Teru’s book without permission, but Teru saved his life and is worried for him. “I don’t plan on doing that again, anyway- it was a one time thing..”

“Ah.. apologies, ahaha~” Teru shakes his head, a small unhappy smile on his face. He clears his throat and easily regains his composure; Akane knows he’s used to this. Sure, they can be their true selves around each other- but that doesn’t mean they don’t still want to hide. “I’ve just been so worried about you recently.. something just- doesn’t feel right~”

“Look, uhm.. nothing’s going to happen,” Akane reassures him. (But that’s a lie, a lie he shouldn’t be telling- because when that day comes, God forbid Teru is there to witness it. Fate isn’t going to be in his favor.) “You’re just being paranoid, and that’s a lot coming from me,”

“Mmh.. I suppose so~” Teru glances around as they walk towards the door Akane came from, “You’re not hurt in any way, though, are you?”

“I told you, I’m fine-”

“You were crying,” he cuts Akane off. If he weren’t carrying Akane as if he were some sort of bride, Akane would have huffed at him. “Then was it something in your book?”

“I wasn’t crying,” Akane is a good liar, but Teru is a good listener. If he hears the slightest upsetness in his tone, he’ll question it. “I’m sick,”

“Yet you came to school?”

“I always come to school when I’m sick.. I’m not even that sick, or anything- it’s a minor fever.. I was.. sneezing before I got caught, so..”

He receives the analyzing stare that Teru tends to give him before hearing him speak again. “I see,” he hums, “Well, alright. If you say so,”

“Yeah, yeah- uhm, president, you can put me down now, you know..”

“Aha, right~” Teru clicks his tongue, placing Akane down carefully afterward. He grabs onto the boy’s hand before leading him along. “Well, off we go then~”

“Huh? To where?”

“My house, of course~ I’ll get Kou to make you a nice, warm soup, and then I’ll tuck you in and kiss your forehead if you want me t-”

“You just saved my life, don’t you dare start with that,” Akane’s too tired to playfully nudge him. He feels tired and weak- he was just squished by a giant hand made of butterflies after all. “Thanks, by the way,”

“It’s no problem, it’s my job~ just know I won’t always be there to save your life. You need to take better care of yourself,”

“Yeah,” Akane murmurs, giving the exorcist’s hand a light sneeze. “Yeah, I know..”

“Mhm,”

He has a feeling Teru knows more than he should. His trusting abilities are already lacking, but now suspicions are beginning to rise- and for both of them, nonetheless.

He’s not going to try confessing that day. He was going to once he found out his future, but that can’t exactly happen anymore. He doesn’t have the energy.

He goes to Teru’s place anyway. Kou’s cooking is nice, and Teru’s family doesn’t mind him. Kou’s a good kid and Tiara is similar to Mirai- and of course, Teru is still his crush.

By the time he gets home, he still can’t properly comprehend the day. He can’t tell if it’s because of his sickened body, or maybe because of how eventful it was- but he’ll have everything figured out in the morning.

He glances over at the teal colored candies on his nightstand. A part of him wishes he just hung out with Mirai for the remainder of the day- his body is sore from being crushed.

All he has to do is look out for a certain someone on December 31st. Though the question remains- who is he supposed to be meeting with? What’s their intention?

He closes his eyes. Maybe rest will help him feel better. In a state like this, he’s in no position to plan things months in advance.

(He has 4 months left.)

Chapter Text

It’s three in the morning.

Akane sits alone in his room while clutching onto his pillow. His grip is unbelievably tight, and his knuckles have begun to turn white- that alone is a terrible way to start his day. There’s also unbearable yelling going on downstairs. It’s the reason he’s awake. He can’t go back to sleep with all the noise.

If he wasn’t afraid of his parents, he’d go down there himself and yell at them to shut the hell up. Of course he’s upset, why wouldn’t he be? They only got home yesterday, and they’re already screaming like it’s the end of the world. He can’t get an ounce of peace and he already feels like absolute shit. He’s paranoid of most of his friends, constantly on edge, planning all sorts of things- and on top of all that, he still has to pretend to be that perfect and wonderful vice president everyone knows him as. He’s not perfect, and he’s not wonderful either. God, he’s awful. And his parents are, too. It runs in the family.

He doesn’t even know what they’re yelling about this time, but it’s been this way for two hours. He’s exhausted, and he has school the next morning- it’s not fair that they’re being so loud. They need to be more considerate, how is he expected to function decently at school when he can’t even sleep at home? He’s tried countless times now- he put his pillow over his head, he laid down on the floor, he put on music- though not a single thing worked out.

It’s to the point where he’s even had to take sleep medication. He’s definitely loopy, it seems it’s already taken effect on him. His mind is mush and his thoughts are soft and fuzzy- his body feels heavy and his hands are cold. His eyes feel like they’re about to close forever. He’s so tired, he can barely think properly.

Well, he can think a bit. He knows for sure he’s hungry.

He huffs quietly under his breath as he glances over at the time. He’s not going to go downstairs so late at night (or rather early in the morning would be the proper term, he’s very petty about that sort of thing), and especially not when his parents are yelling about who knows what. Though his stomach is beginning to ache, and he doesn’t have anything available in his room.

So his solution is to walk towards the window. He’ll figure something out.

He sticks one leg out and kicks around aimlessly until he feels his foot press against a tree- though he brings it right back inside after because all he’s wearing are socks. (It’s easy to tell this won’t go well considering he wears socks to sleep.) He awkwardly walks over to his bed and bends down, rummaging under it until he can find his shoes. When he gets back up, he shoves his phone and some yen in his pockets.

After struggling to put his shoes on for a good five minutes or so, he crawls outside the window and onto the tree- making his way down slowly. He doesn’t even hesitate the same way he did in March; he just climbs down like it’s muscle memory to him. At this point, maybe it is.

He jumps off the tree with a small ‘hmph’ sound once his shoes hit the ground. He isn’t hurt, thankfully. He hasn’t gotten hurt climbing in a while. He glances around.

It’s dark out.

Akane doesn’t really like the dark.

He’s naturally a paranoid person. He sees the negative in everything and tends to think of the bad outcomes way before any good ones; he’s the type of person to read every single ingredient on a candy bar to make sure he won’t die from eating it. Now that he knows of his lifespan, he’s just closed himself off even more. From his friends to his teachers, he avoids saying too much. He’s gotten a bit quieter. That way, no one will hurt him in the future- no one will want him dead and show up during his last minutes alive to do something.

That way, he can walk to the convenience store at an ungodly hour all by himself without getting killed.

He looks up at the moon as he begins to follow the sidewalk. It’s a pretty calming night to say the least, he doesn’t feel as scared as he usually would. The street lights are on anyway, they add onto the light already provided by the moon.

Or rather by the sun, since the moon doesn’t have any light.

He dwells on that conversation from months ago.

Time has passed by fast, hasn’t it?

He never got a true elaboration from Teru since then. He was left to assume what Teru meant- and of course, Akane thinks he understands, but they’re all just inferences and guesses- so he isn’t really sure. He wonders if Teru actually plans on telling him the full reason. Maybe that’s a story for another time. (It is, but he has a very long time until that properly happens. Years and years will go by. Is that possible? Ah, of course not. What is he kidding? What a strange thought. Though something about it feels true..)

He frowns a bit. He’s too tired to think about that right now, just like every other time he’s put too much thought into it. It’s a chilly September and 3 am morning, he doesn’t want to think about death, especially when he’s alone and vulnerable. He even stumbles a bit midst step- he needs to watch where he’s going, not focus on the way the moon shines, or the way Teru said things to him in the past. Just on his walking.

His shoes press against the damp grass, making a weird squish sound every time. It wasn’t raining last night, but it was cold enough to cause dew to collect. He lets out a soft yawn as he makes his way back to the correct path.

“Hmm, hm, hmmm..”

He rubs his hands together while humming softly. It definitely wasn’t a good idea to go out at this hour, let alone while on medication, but his thoughts are too mushy to acknowledge his mistakes. He prefers to keep it that way for his self confidence.

He’ll be just fine, anyway. Shocking since it’s coming from him to say the least.

“Hm, hmm, hmm..”

He bounces his head along to the rhythm. He can’t remember the name of the song, just the music. He should’ve stayed home to get more sleep, but it’s too late for that. He would’ve had trouble anyway.

He passes by a beautiful rose bush. He tiredly blinks at it, still continuing on his walk- he tried growing roses not too long ago, but it didn't seem to work out. His room is in no condition to grow flowers like that, he needs his backyard for high maintenance plants. It’s too bad he can’t use it.

“Hm, hmm..”

“Ah, hey!”

His humming is interrupted by the voice of another. For a second, his heart skips a beat. He wonders if something bad is going to happen, but he throws that thought aside- he recognizes that loving voice, as well as that soft gaze upon his back. He stops in his tracks to turn around.

“Minamoto-kaichou,” he mumbles softly, “Good morning..”

“Good morning, Aoi~” he can’t tell if Teru is more or less tired than him. Either way, Teru seems to be functioning much better. Lucky bastard and his horrid sleep schedule. He’s used to being awake at this time. “What are you doing up so late? Or should I say early~”

“My parents were fighting,” Akane’s too straightforward for his own good. He can’t think properly before acting- once he’s truly conscious, he’ll regret everything he does. “What about.. ah, you?” he yawns mid-sentence, adjusting his glasses with one of his hands as if that will help him see better. Spoiler alert, it doesn’t. He doesn’t even need those glasses to see.

“I see.. I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve finished some of my exorcist duties, so I’m just on a quick walk~”

“It’s not a problem, just.. a little tiring. I took medicine to sleep better.. I’m only out here to make a quick stop at the convenience store for some chips or something.. I forgot, but I know it was food related. I’m hungry and tired,” he shrugs, “Oh, are you hurt or something?”

“The convenience store? At this hour? It’s awfully late, you shouldn’t be walking around alone just for something as small as that. Aren’t there any snacks at your place?” Teru clicks his tongue, “Hm? Not really, ahaha~”

“I didn’t really wanna go downstairs and listen to whatever was going on. I didn’t have anything in my room, either.. and not really?”

“Then we can walk there together~ I’ll make sure no supernatural gets you while you’re walking straight into trees,” he gives a small smile before grabbing onto Akane’s hand, “It’s nothing to worry about~ come on, now, let’s go to the store~”

“That wouldn’t.. happen to me, I think,” Akane intertwines their fingers together. He doesn’t clarify which option wouldn’t happen because both seem possible at this point. “You know when you say that, it means I should worry, right?”

“Ahaha~ wouldn’t that be hypocritical coming from you, though?”

“Hmph.. maybe,” he shrugs, beginning to drag them along. “Not the point, though.. you know you can tell me about your wounds and stuff,” he desperately wants Teru to know that despite his sleep deprivation. (I love you. He wants to say, I hate seeing you hurt. I hate knowing you hide away or sleep it off. That won’t solve anything, you’re just more likely to heal slower. Sure, that’s hypocritical of me, I know- and it’s my fault for feeling this way because I read your book, but just let me take care of you, please. I’ve only done it a few times in the past.) “I guess I don’t mind helping if you need it..” but those words of his don’t come out. He always gets too closed up and blurts out something else.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Aoi,” Teru responds in a gentle voice, “But I assure you, I’m just fine~ nothing hurts too badly,”

“So something hurts?”

“Just a bit~”

“I’ll bandage you, then.. unless it’s a bruise,” Akane begins to ramble absentmindedly, “It depends if it’s already swollen or not, but it’s better to put something cold on it either way.. and for open wounds, you shouldn’t let them infect. I’m assuming you haven’t gone home yet, so I’ll get some sort of disinfectant.. you know the process, right?”

“I do~ you’ve helped me a few times before, how could I forget? You give me those cute little tutorials of yours every single time~”

“Yeah, because I’m worried at least one of your injuries will be bad enough to get you sent to a hospital or something..” he gives Teru’s hand a light squeeze, “Just- whatever, I’ll take care of you. Let’s hurry up at get to the convenience store,”

“There’s no need, really~ I’m fine,” though Teru lets himself be dragged along anyway. Akane has known him long enough- he has a few similarities to Aoi. If he actually wants something, he won’t speak his mind. That’s just how a Minamoto is supposed to be. They don’t get help, they don’t need assistance. Teru is meant to be a weapon, an exorcist under his family name and nothing more. Though Akane sees him as more than that. He understands in his own way. “I thought we were getting chips for you?”

“I changed my mind, I’ll buy some medical stuff,”

“You’re awfully worried, I think your sleep medication has taken a toll on your thoughts, Aoi~”

“Nope, just.. worried. I always am,”

He should watch his mouth, but alas- he’s half asleep and talking to his crush in the middle of the night. It’ll be no surprise if his brain goes completely mush by the time he gets home.

“I’m just fine, but I do appreciate the concerns~ I could say the same about you,”

“You always say that.. it just worries me even more,” he sighs, “The same.. about me?”

“I can see why it would, but this time nothing’s wrong~” Teru says as if there isn’t a bit of blood dripping down his head. He’s very casual about it, Akane knows he’s grown accustomed to it. Underneath those clothes of his, he’s a bloody injured mess- he needs help. Not mental help (actually, he probably does need it), but physical help. “I’ve been worried about you recently. Getting yourself in all sorts of danger, ahaha..”

“I don’t.. do that,”

“Aoi, I’m worried something bad is going to happen to you.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve had this odd gut feeling for months,” Teru admits. He gives Akane’s hand a light squeeze, the same way Akane does to him. It gives them both this sense of comfort- a wave of safety. A sign that everything might be okay. Some sort of hope. “I’m not sure what it is. I was hoping it was paranoia like you said in August, but ahaha~ I just can’t get over it. When I try to think about what might happen, my mind seems to go blank. I can’t think of anything that could actually go wrong~ isn’t that silly?”

Akane goes pale.

(Well, shit.)

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “That’s weird,”

Teru is suspicious of him. He can tell.

“Hm,” Akane doesn’t make any eye contact, but he can feel Teru looking deep into his eyes- thankfully, they look so damn tired, Teru probably can’t tell if he’s telling the truth or not. “It is, but either way, be more careful. Avoid getting yourself in risky situations,”

It’s a bit too late for that.

“Thanks, president,” Akane swallows thickly, “But right now I’m worrying about you, so try not to worry about me. I’m right by your side, anyway,” he whispers, “Nothing bad can happen to me,”

“What was that last part?”

“Never mind,” he responds quickly after, clenching his free fist. “Just know I’m safe. I’m not really sure where your paranoia came from, but..” he pauses. (Why is he saying this? Why isn’t he just being honest with Teru? He wants to cup his cheeks and blurt out the truth, tell him about his fate and how he’s going to die- but something is just preventing him. Whether it’s his mind or his heart, he can’t do it. He doesn’t want Teru to know.) “Everything’s gonna be fine,”

“Ah,” Teru blinks. Akane is sure the exorcist still doesn’t believe him- and rightfully so, of course, due to his tired body, he can’t lie as well as he usually does- but he isn’t exactly sure what Teru thinks is going to happen. He understands Teru well enough to know he definitely has some sort of idea. Whether it’s right or wrong, he has his mind set on something. “Alright, whatever you say~”

“Anyway..” the apparition listens to the sweet chime of a bell ringing above him. He’s gone to this convenience store countless times before, it’s been there since he was a kid. Though it has been a good while since he snuck out to buy something for himself, he’s not sure if the same cashier is still there. “Do you want to buy anything?”

“Hm?”

“I asked if you..” he yawns, “I asked if you wanted anything, like.. from the store.”

“That depends, how much money do you have on you?” Teru glances around, before chuckling softly. “I’m just messing with you, ahaha~” he doesn’t even give Akane the chance to answer. “I don’t want anything, let’s just get your snacks and go~”

“Why are you in such a rush?” Akane begins to drag Teru along to the snacks aisle. It makes him feel hungrier- he isn’t sure if he wants to drool, or if maybe that’s just his sleepy and overdramatic imagination- maybe he can just go home and settle for whatever candy bar he finds in his room. “I don’t mind getting you anything, just pick something cheap.. I have to spend the rest on medical supplies,”

“I still have more duties to complete tonight,” Teru tells him, “I’m fine, I don’t want-”

“Nope, don’t finish that.” Akane huffs, squinting at a rack of cheese flavored chips. “Here, you’re going to try these. Mirai likes them, so maybe you will, too,” he shoves a bag in Teru’s hands.

“Eh??” Teru blinks, though he holds the chips anyway. “Puffs..”

“Mhm, puffs. I think,” the latter mumbles, “Whatever, if you don’t like cheese, get another kind- I’ll be right back, I just need to get the other stuff..”

“But-”

“Don’t leave this aisle,” he rushes towards the end of it, “Don’t get lost, either! Get your food and wait patiently!” and with that, he leaves that section- making his way towards another.

Buying medical supplies is no new situation to Akane. He’s been good at taking care of people since he was a kid thanks to his parents. It’s a useful skill to have, of course, just not something someone his age should’ve known.

It’s a bit sad when he thinks about it, but he’s used to it, so he doesn’t mind.

Some skill is better than no skill, no matter what the impact had on his life.

(That is an absolutely horrible mindset to have. A terrible childhood is not worth his experience, it’s not worth anything. He missed out on so much. Telling himself that others like Aoi or Teru have gone through worse just makes him even more of an envious person. Whether it’s envy from their slightly more successful lives, or from their ability to understand themselves and their actions- he’s just like that.)

He quickly snaps out of his thoughts when he accidentally knocks into a shelf. He picks up the item in embarrassment, praying Teru and the cashier didn’t hear him drop it- that would have been extremely awkward. He’s going to have even more nightmares, this time of him dropping a box of princess bandaids.

He sighs before lifting his glasses to briefly rub his eyes. He begins properly searching for what he needs.

He’s an expert at this, whether he’s tired or not. He’s speeding through his mental checklist like it’s nothing.

He grabs a disinfectant spray and a squishy bag of cotton swabs with ease, holding them against his body while he continues to look for things with his left. He looks through the shelf from top to bottom, moving things and putting them right back when he can't find what he wants.

“Bandaids, patches.. still no bandages.. augh, where are they?”

He can’t help but quietly complain under his breath. He can’t find the usual bandages he uses- of course, there’s alternate options, but changing something he uses in his day to day life? Hard pass. He’d never do that.

Though he also doesn’t want to keep Teru waiting. He’s been using the same brand since he was a kid, he can’t just suddenly change that- what if he messes up? What if it gives Teru a rash, or causes it to infect?

He swallows nervously.

What if it’s his fault Teru goes to the hospital? What if it’s his fault he didn’t fix up a wound correctly, and Teru flops over while they walk together? What is he supposed to do?

The sleeping medication has doubled his paranoia.

He glances at a certain box.

Well, he’s used princess bandaids for Mirai before. That’s the only box he has experience with; the rest are either strange brands of bandages he can’t recognize or bandaids that have given his own skin some sort of rash. (Never buy medical supplies from a convenience store. Go to a pharmacy at the very least.)

He thinks for a moment as he reaches over for it. It has princesses from those popular movies he’s never watched- he knows the names of the iconic characters, but he’s not bothered to check which ones are on the box.

He can make this work. Who cares if there are pretty princesses on them? It’s not like anyone is going to look at Teru’s wounds except for him, he’ll replace the bandaids once he has the proper equipment. It’ll be just fine.

He shoves the cute little box in his arms before double checking all the things he has in his hands. This was enough to work for his mom when he was younger, so he’s sure it’ll work for Teru, too.

“Minamoto-kaichou,” he calls out once he rushes back to the snacks aisle, “Sorry for the wait, I..”

“Woah, there~ take a deep breath, Aoi~” Teru chuckles, “What’s all that for?”

“You, obviously?” Akane raises an eyebrow, attempting to catch his breath. Exercising is the last thing he needs right now. “Did you pick the chips you wanted?”

“I’m just going with the ones you recommended~”

“And you’re sure that’s what you want?”

“Mhm~”

“Okay,” he adjusts all the stuff in his hands so he can hold onto one of Teru’s hands, “Let’s go to the register. If I don’t have enough money.. I’ll figure something out for us,”

“It seems you’re the one in a rush..”

“Just want to.. help you faster, or something,” he whispers once they finish their short walk there, “Just wait behind me,” he lets go of Teru’s hand and takes the chips. He places all of the items onto the small counter in front of him. The store’s never been able to afford anything much better.

“Will that be all for you?”

“Mhm,” he tells the person behind the register, watching as they scan the items. He stares attentively- something feels familiar. He isn’t sure if it’s the motions, or perhaps the voice of the person speaking. “That’s all,”

“Alright, your total will be.. hm?” the person pauses, “Aoi?”

“Huh?” Akane looks up at their face, “Hatori?”

“It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you,” Kyou Hatori, is the boy’s name- speaks with such delight. Akane hasn’t talked to him in a while, but the two used to be friends. “How are things going for you?”

“Oh.. uhm,” Akane smiles at him. It’s soft and tired- pretty genuine, or so he hopes. He has missed talking to his old friend, after all. Unlike Suzuto, they didn’t leave off on odd terms- they just slowly drifted apart because of their own individual studies. Plus, Kyou doesn’t like to poke and tease when he’s complaining and vulnerable. Mainly because Akane has his nice vice president act around him, he’s never had to complain. “It’s been good, not much has changed. What about you?”

“Ah, me too. Shigaraki is the same as always, as well, she’s still up to the same things.” Kyou tells him, returning the smile as he reaches over for a plastic bag. Chitose Shigaraki is another old friend of his, though they were more of acquaintances rather than friends. “I didn’t expect to see you today, so I didn’t bring my gift,”

“A gift? For what?”

“Your birthday, of course,” he begins to fill it with the items Akane put on the table. Akane still watches carefully. “It was a week ago, wasn’t it? Unless I got the dates wrong, and it was next month.”

“Oh, no,” Akane giggles, “It’s this month, yeah. It passed so I think you remembered correctly,” his mind goes a bit blank at someone remembering his birthday. Usually it’s only Aoi, he hasn’t told many other people- so he’s not sure if it’s a good feeling, or a bad one.

“That’s good, then. Happy late birthday, Aoi, I apologize for not telling you sooner.”

Akane’s cheeks flush red. He’s not blushing because he’s attracted, or anything of the sort- he’s just a little embarrassed to hear it out loud. It’s been a while, to say the least. “Thank you, but it’s fine. I don’t really mind if it’s late or not, I mean.. you switched schools, we don’t really talk that often anymore.”

“It really is a shame,” Kyou hums, “We should start hanging out more often, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Akane nods in response, “I think I’m free this weekend, in case you wanna do something.. I’m not sure about Shigaraki though, that’s something you’d have to ask. I think she’s in the high school division now,”

“About Shigaraki.. perhaps we could hang out alone?”

“Alone?”

“Just the two of us,”

“I mean,” he fumbles with his hands, almost dropping the money in them. The suggestion almost makes it sound like Kyou may be flirting with him, as if he were asking for a date- though Akane knows otherwise. Kyou has always been socially awkward, he probably doesn’t see his words as flirting; so Akane doesn’t either. “Yeah, that’s fine, if.. that..”

Akane blinks.

“President.. what are you..?”

He glances down.

Teru has his arms wrapped around the apparition’s waist from behind, hanging his head over his shoulder- that way his face is hiding in Akane’s T-shirt. Akane can tell his face feels pretty warm just by that alone.

He reaches up one of his hands to cup Teru’s cheeks. He doesn’t understand what’s going on. “Hey,” he lowers his voice down to a soft whisper, “Are you okay? Does something hurt?” That's the first thing his mind goes to. (Is he in pain? What’s going on? Is he dying on me? Is he going to pass out?)

He doesn’t get a response back.

“I need you to talk to me,” he sighs softly, “We’ll leave in a second, just-”

“Am I interrupting something?” Kyou speaks up, clearly even more awkward than before. “Here, I apologize.” he puts the plastic bag from earlier on the counter, “You’re free to just take it like that, no payment needed.”

“Oh, no.. I couldn’t do that, I-”

“It’s alright, Aoi,” he clears his throat, “I’m sorry once again,”

“It’s fine,” Akane takes the bag with his other hand, “I’ll pay you back some other time,”

“There’s no need,”

“Are you sure? You don’t want to get fired..”

“I’ll pay for it with my own money, you know that isn’t a problem for me,”

“Right,” he glances over at Teru. He’s no longer hiding his face- he’s still semi-hiding it, but Akane can see his soft blue eyes staring into his own. “Thank you, Hatori. We’ll be on our way now,”

“It’s not a problem, you could consider it a second late birthday gift if that makes you feel better.” he hums, waving shortly after. “I hope you and your date have a nice rest of your night,”

“Morning,” Akane corrects him with a small smile, “It’s morning.”

“Of course, I hope you two have a nice rest of your morning.”

He smiles softly before Teru lets go of his waist. He takes the exorcist’s hand in his own, listening once again as the bell above their heads rings and makes a small chime. The comfort the sound emits never changed.

(Nor him or Teru correct the date part of Kyou’s statement. Neither of them want to.)

“There we go, all done.. I’ll change them as soon as possible, I just.. couldn’t find any other good substitutes,”

“Ah, so.. you got princess bandaids?”

“..I hope that’s not a problem,”

“It’s not~ I’m just a bit surprised, that's all. Did they not have any other bandages available?”

“They did, but I only use a certain brand. I didn’t want to use another in case it gave you a rash, or something..”

“Hm? Oh, how thoughtful of you~”

Akane huffs slightly, a faint blush on his cheeks as he rolls the sleeve of Teru’s jacket down. He’s already completed tending to Teru’s wounds, so he should be heading home soon. He’s not quite sure what time it is. The moon above them paints a beautiful light against their clothing.

Akane finds himself with Teru under the moonlight. The scene is beautiful; Akane can feel his heart pounding in his chest. They’re sitting close together on a bench, sharing body heat in the cold of the night.

“Hey, Minamoto-kaichou?”

“Yes?”

“Can I..” Akane fidgets with his hands, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“Do you not.. like Hatori?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just..” he takes a deep breath. He’s needed to get this off his chest for a while, and he’s finally deciding to confront Teru. Shockingly, he does it before death. “You know, that.. thing you did. He’s not going to hurt me, we’re friends.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” he looks up at the sky while Teru stares into his eyes. “He’s not a bad guy, if that’s what you think. He doesn’t really seem like it, either- I’m sure you know he meant no harm,” he swallows thickly, “Do you hate all my friends?”

“Ah..” Teru blinks, “I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at here, of course I don’t hate all your friends. They’re kind people and I’m glad you can find yourself happy around them.”

(Bullshit. Akane wants to say, I can tell you’re lying. Your tone of voice, your body composure.. what are you hiding?)

“Can you be honest?” Akane whispers, clenching his fists slightly. “Please, I just..”

“Aoi, I really don’t hate your friends. Even if I did, I’d have no reason to.” Teru replies calmly. Akane hates how he can’t be the same. He hates how frustrated he sounds. He wishes he could hold it in better- but when medication is involved, no one can really control themselves properly. “Where are you getting these thoughts from?”

“You don’t like when I mention Fuji-kun,” Akane starts. He lets his feelings spill out. “You sound.. upset, I don’t know. I thought you just didn’t like him, which would be understandable- since he’s an asshole for fun if you know him well enough, but then you got the same way when I was with Yamabuki- and, and I didn’t really know if that was similar.. since you had the same tone and all, but something about the overprotectiveness was just- I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.. and now with Hatori, you got all clingy when he asked for us to hang out again. It’s almost like..”

He pauses. Either he’s starting to piece things together, or he’s so sleep deprived that his mind bunched up a handful of information and just ended up getting the wrong answer. It doesn’t matter which one’s correct- he has an answer, at least. He needs to speak his mind before he loses the confidence to.

“President,”

Teru looks away. He seems almost ashamed of himself, as if he knows what Akane is going to say next. That makes sense now; everything’s starting to make sense. Akane looks over at Teru before speaking again.

“Are you.. jealous?”

For once, Teru opens his mouth and nothing comes out. Akane knows how that feels.

“Minamoto-kaichou..”

“I apologize,” Teru blurts out, “I didn’t mean..”

“Why are you apologizing? I.. I didn’t-”

“I should get going, I still have other duties to complete.”

“Hey, I-”

“I shouldn’t-”

“Stop it,” Akane grabs onto his arm, wrapping both of his hands around it. “Listen to me, you aren’t even letting me speak.”

Teru goes silent.

“You have nothing to even apologize for,” he mumbles. He’s still extremely tired- he may have figured out a bit of Teru’s true feelings, but he can’t quite process them yet. “Jealousy.. it-”

“It isn’t a good thing, I’m aware.”

“Let.. me finish,” he huffs slightly. It’s not easy to conversate when being interrupted, obviously. The two lack communication, it’s no wonder Akane’s held in his feelings for so long. “I agree, it’s not a good thing. But that doesn’t mean.. you’re bad for feeling it, or anything.” he mumbles, his eyes fluttering shut as he leans his head against Teru’s shoulder. “That’s natural, you know? Everyone feels it. Some people react to it differently than others, and that’s fine,”

Teru doesn’t respond.

“Just.. sorry, I’m really tired right now. This would be better said if I got more sleep, my words are an absolute mess.” he sighs, “The point is.. don’t feel sorry. I just- don’t understand, why are you jealous of them?”

“Aoi, is that even a question?”

“I’m being genuine, so.. yes?”

“You’re smart,” Teru whispers to him, matching the same volume of his own voice. “You’ve gotten this far, I’m sure you can figure it out.”

“I’m trying..” Akane whines. He’s also desperately trying not to fall asleep right then and there. He needs to find out the truth; as well as provide Teru with some sort of reassurance. It’s not easy when he isn’t feeling the best either. He’s not required to give advice or comfort, and he knows that- he just wants to. (He assumes him and Teru are similar that way. Both of them didn’t get a lot of comfort growing up, so they provide comfort to one another.) “There’s just..”

“Mmh,” Teru clicks his tongue, “You’re right about you being tired. Figure it out some other day, okay?”

“Huh? But I’m so close.. it’s because of-”

“Just rest for a bit, and I’ll tell you all about it soon.”

“Hmmph.. you’re underestimating me, you know..” is he, though? Akane is already getting comfortable on Teru’s shoulder. “Just.. give me a few seconds, and..”

“Shh,” Teru chuckles softly, “You know, I always fall asleep thinking of the moon. What do you think of?”

“Mmmmmhh..” Akane’s giving in. He can feel the sleepiness begin to overcome him. “You?”

“Me?” Teru leans his head against Akane’s, closing his eyes as well. He wasn’t lying when he said he felt relaxed around Akane. “I suppose I have no reason to be jealous then, do I?”

“Nope.. not at all..”

“Ahaha~” Akane can see a glimpse of his fangs. He just wishes he was more awake to see it properly. “That’s nice to know,”

“Minamoto-kaichou, I.. I want..”

“Hm?”

“I want to be with you,”

“..eh?” Teru’s cheeks begin to heat up. That’s something Akane doesn’t see very often- but he wants to. He wants to make Teru blush and smile, and giggle and cheer- he wants to make Teru happy just by being with him. (He already does.) “What do you mean, Aoi?”

“Can I.. can I be by your side for a loooong while..?”

Akane knocks out shortly after speaking.

It’s an embarrassment, to say the least. For several different reasons, too.

His words could be interpreted in different ways. He could mean he wants to be Teru’s friend forever, or maybe wants to help him fight. His intention was to confess, but that isn’t really how it turned out- at least not to Teru.

He’s unconscious. He obviously can’t change his word choice, anyway.

He’s not moved until ten minutes later. He’s just barely awake as he feels something slip under his legs and carefully pick him up.

“Of course,” he can make out Teru’s response just barely. Teru purposefully responds once he thinks Akane’s finally asleep- Akane doesn’t understand why. “You can be by my side for as long as you wish.”

Akane feels something press against his forehead.

He’s not sure if it’s Teru’s hand, or maybe his hair- though neither option makes sense. Teru is carrying him, meaning his hands are occupied, and his hair wouldn’t feel that way. It’s far too light.

Did Teru kiss him?

It’s unfortunate he falls right back to sleep the second Teru begins to walk. He doesn’t get to question anything- and so he doesn’t get to find out the truth. He would mentally curse out his sleeping medication if he weren’t sleeping soundly in his crush’s arms. It’s definitely some sort of win, at least. Even if he doesn’t know all of Teru’s true feelings.

Even if he missed the one proper hint he’ll ever be able to understand.

Akane doesn’t wake up again until he gets home.

“Aoi,” he hears Teru whisper, “Hey..”

“Mmh?” Akane stirs awake, a small yawn escaping his mouth. He’s still pretty tired. “Morning, president..”

“Morning~ you’ve only been asleep for half an hour,” Teru tells him, “So I brought you home. Get some rest, okay?”

“Oh,” Akane blinks slowly, “Okay,” he whines slightly as Teru puts him down, though. The shared body heat is no longer present; he can’t help but miss it. “Bye, then, president,”

“Ahaha~ bye, Aoi. Sweet dreams~”

“Bye,” he waves, watching as Teru walks away. The exorcist still has a job to do, but Akane can’t help but want him to come back.

It’s too late now. What’s done has been done, and Teru is gone for now.

Akane fishes through his pockets for the front door key, letting out a huff of frustration when he can’t find it. He snuck out through his window, so he obviously doesn’t have it. He feels stupid.

He puts his hand on the doorknob. It twists with ease.

His parents must’ve forgotten to lock it. Not only is that convenient, but it’s not very surprising either.

He walks in quietly, making sure his footsteps are no louder than his breathing. He’s greeted by his mother fast asleep on the living room floor. He isn’t sure what to say- at least his parents have stopped fighting and he isn’t in trouble for sneaking out.

“..ah,” is all he can get out as he closes the door and walks towards her. He crouches down and moves some hair out of her face.

She looks the same as always.

Akane presses a kiss on her forehead before mumbling a small, “Goodnight, mom.” and heading upstairs. He’s not sure where his father is, and he’s not going to look either. It’s better to keep it that way.

The deadline of his life is coming up. He wishes his parents would pay attention to him more- at least be aware of his existence before it’s gone. But alas, Akane doesn’t need them. He doesn’t want to need them either. He’s not going to get into how he never got attention growing up, he’d feel ashamed.

When he gets to his room, he wants to knock out the second his head hits his pillow. It’s a good way to dismiss his thoughts- no wonder Teru does that every time he gets home from work. He can understand that much.

But now Teru is in his head instead. “Sweet dreams,” he can hear that sweet voice echo- Akane desperately wants to kiss his forehead back. He still wonders what happened, as his mind is a blur- but he really hopes it was a kiss.

Until next time, perhaps- whenever that is.

If he ever even gets the chance.

(He has 3 months left.)

Chapter Text

Akane is in a good mood.

That alone is a strange way to start his day. Akane is never in a decent mood, so a good mood is even more shocking for him- he’s always nervous or frustrated over something. Half of the time it’s both, actually. That’s doubled on holidays. He’s supposed to hate them all because of his messy and unresolved childhood trauma.

Though today is October 31st, and he somehow has a smile on his face. It’s Halloween; the day where people can express themselves freely and dress up as characters without real life problems to feel better about their own lives. Usually Akane spends his Halloweens locked up in his room indoors, since his mother told him he wasn’t allowed to give candy to trick or treaters anymore. She considered them an ‘annoyance’ to the peace. (As if there was any sort of peace in their home in the first place.)

This year, Akane isn’t going to stay inside. He’s going out on a date.

But not just any date, no- he’s going on a date with Teru Minamoto.

The school’s prince, the Minamotos’ beloved exorcist, and the boy Akane has been in love with for a good while- everyone knows the drill. He’s been pining over Teru for far too long, even if he doesn’t let it show properly.

The fact that he’s finally going on a date with him makes him want to explode.

Well, at least he considers it one. Teru never actually specified.

About a week ago, Teru asked Akane to hang out in advance. Every Halloween, Kamome Gakuen has a special event- the school is made into a haunted house and all the students are free to attend. Akane knows this because he helped set everything up; he’s never actually gone himself, but he assisted both this year and last year. He knows how everything goes, so he’s also prepared for anything.

He’s confident he can impress properly. He won’t get scared and will be there if Teru just so happens to scream, or maybe jumps in fear. (That won’t happen. If anything, Akane will be the one doing that.) That way, he has almost everything going his way today. Though there’s just one problem.

He doesn’t know how to dress for a date.

It’s no surprise that Akane hasn’t been on a date before. He’s sixteen and has only dated Lemon once; the relationship ended as soon as it started. It would have been a mess of awkward romance if they stayed together, anyway. He doesn’t really have any other love experience because he was ‘saving’ himself for a girl who didn’t want him. (And for a girl he didn’t want, either.)

So he’s completely clueless. He’s relying on WikiHows and articles. It’s sad, to say the least. Maybe even embarrassing. Scratch that. It’s completely embarrassing.

He hasn’t asked anyone for tips. He’s still on silent terms with Aoi- though he isn’t sure if she’d have any advice to give in the first place. Suzuto is completely off his list considering he’d tease and giggle. Same for Lemon, except that guy doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on in the world. (Plus, he also doesn’t like Teru all that much. He’s intimidated.) He still has yet to hang out with Kyou and awkwardly explain his situation.

He’d ask his mom, but she’s locked in her bedroom, presumably snoring after doing nothing all day. His dad is out of the house again, maybe god knows where- though he surely doesn’t. He doesn’t care, either.

He huffs slightly. He doesn’t need any help. He gets dressed just fine on his own. He’s just a little too casual looking for the occasion, but other than that- he looks decent.

He always figures things out on his own, and this is no different. He’s made a list of things that might happen on his date- and he’s made sure nothing will go wrong.

He’s completely positive this will be amazing. He’ll win Teru over at the end, and he’ll finally get to confess properly instead of messing up his words or being cut off. Everything will go stunningly.

Akane finds out soon enough that he’s wrong.

“Minamoto.. kouhai,” he mutters once he arrives at the entrance of the school. When he looks around, he doesn't see Teru anywhere. “What are you doing here? Where’s-”

“Waiting for you, obviously!” Kou gives him a thumbs up. “You’re kind of early, Aoi-senpai!”

“..huh??”

(He is so very wrong.)

“Wait, wait, wait..” Akane awkwardly clears his throat, fidgeting with his hands as he double checks to make sure Teru isn’t around. He isn’t sure what’s going on. “Why are you waiting for me? Where’s your brother?”

“Eh?” Kou mumbles, “Teru-nii isn’t here yet!”

“Okay, yet.. that’s a relief, he’s on his way at least.” the prior lets out a small sigh, before the confusion strikes right back. “Wait, so why are you waiting for me, then? Just to let me know that Minamoto-kaichou is going to be a bit late? He’s always late, so I wouldn’t be surprised, or anything-”

“Why wouldn’t I be waiting for you?”

“..what do you mean?”

“Teru-nii said all of us are going to hang out today! Just you, him.. and me!”

Akane feels the excitement drain from his body.

Life is miserable and he is too. If the world were to crumble right now, he’d feel happy about it. His inner monologue sounds like it came straight out of a poem written by a preteen going through some sort of phase. He’ll be over it later.

But currently, he’s embarrassed as anyone would be in this situation. Akane can read Kou like an open book; Kou is a sweet kid, of course, he’s nice and likes to help others even when it doesn’t benefit himself. He struggles with his self esteem at times because people tend to be better than him. He has his kindness taken for granted. The list goes on.

Though no matter how sweet he may be, Akane does not want him third-wheeling his date with Teru.

It’s not even a date, it’s a hangout. Akane just interpreted it wrong. Yikes. That just makes things two times as worse than it already is.

“Oh,” he finally musters up the courage to speak. He prays Kou can’t tell how much he wants to go home and scream in his pillow for misunderstanding. “I see.. Minamoto-kaichou didn’t mention you’d be coming along, so I guess I’m a bit surprised.” he clears his throat. Just like with Tiara, he needs to be kind to Kou so he doesn’t make a bad impression. Though they’ve already talked a handful of times in the past, he would have been polite anyway. “So, uhm.. you’ve gotten a lot.. taller.”

“I have?” Kou smiles brightly. Akane can see the similarities between him and Teru- they both shine like the sun itself. Though there are a lot of differences, too. “Oh, I have!” Kou uses his hand to see how tall he is compared to Akane.

Kou is taller.

“Wait,” Akane blinks, “Wait, wait.. wait..” this can’t be. There’s no way a first year is taller than him. Akane isn’t the tallest by any means, no- but he isn’t the shortest, either. That would be Suzuto. “You’re..”

“I’m a little taller than you, Aoi-senpai!”

Akane now has two reasons to feel miserable.

“We’re actually the same height,” he tries to correct Kou knowing very well that isn’t true. His denial won’t accept that fact. While Kou is nice, he isn’t the smartest- so it gives Akane a bit of a benefit here. “It’s not that shocking considering all your family is tall. I wouldn’t be surprised if Minamoto-chan suddenly grew to my height, too. Plus, we aren’t too far off in age. You’re fifteen, aren’t you?”

“Mhm!” Kou seems happy to talk to him. Akane is almost relieved- most people don’t come up to him unless they need something. “I guess Tiara is pretty tall, huh? She’s almost six now, she’ll be all grown!”

“..you sound just like your brother when you say that,” Akane sighs with a small smile, “Speaking of him, there he is now. How convenient,”

“Sorry I’m late, Aoi~” Teru chirps as he walks closer to them. “I hope my younger brother kept you entertained while you waited,”

“We were just talking about how much taller I am than Aoi-senp-”

“He did,” Akane interrupts for the sake of his ego, “No worries. Now, are we going in or not? I think you’ve made us wait long enough.”

“In a hurry, aren’t you?” Teru clasps his hands together, a genuine smile plastered on his face following soon after. “Well, I suppose you’re right. I’ve never actually been to a fake haunted house myself, so this should be fun for all of us~ come on!”

“Woo, okay! Can I lead, Teru-nii? Please?”

“Only if Aoi’s alright with that,”

Both Minamotos look at Akane. He can feel their stares on his face.

Kou’s is beaming with a sweet excitement, and Teru’s is the same as always- soft and loving. Though now there’s an addition of an innocent and childish curiosity. He’s always been busy, so he’s never had the time for childish fun- it’s no wonder he’s so excited.

This may not be a date, but if Teru’s smiling- then the embarrassment is worth it for Akane. Anything is.

“I don’t mind,” Akane smiles in return, “Lead the way, Minamoto-kouhai. Have fun with it,”

“Yay!” Kou cheers, “Let’s go!”

The three begin to walk inside with Kou ahead. Teru and Akane walk at the same pace, taking a few glances at their surroundings.

“Thanks for letting him do that,”

“Huh?” Akane’s head perks up at Teru’s voice, “Oh, it was no problem. He seemed really excited, and I didn’t want you leading either, considering you’d get us lost or electrocute one of the staff members-”

“Ahaha~ how delightful, just the response I expected from you. Though that last part was a bit unnecessary, don’t you think?” Teru chuckles, “Thank you for reacting well to him coming along, as well. I know I didn’t tell you he’d be here tonight,”

“I couldn’t be rude to him. He’s a nice kid,” the apparition shrugs. He’s being honest for the most part. “I’m just a little confused on why you didn’t tell me. I thought it’d be just us,”

“Well, about that~ his friends.. ah, what are their names again?” Teru taps his chin, “Satou-kun and Yokoo-kun, I believe- they’re coming to the event as well,”

“Did they exclude him?”

“Not quite, he excluded himself.” he sighs softly, “The two are dating if I remember correctly. They invited him to tag along, but he didn’t want to third-wheel- so I told him he could come with us instead. I do hope that’s not a problem,”

“It’s not,” Akane fidgets with his hands as they walk together. (Even if he didn’t come along, this wouldn’t have been a date. I’m selfish for thinking that. Just because Minamoto-kaichou was jealous that others were closer to me before doesn’t mean he likes me the same way.) “I don’t mind it. I just have to be a little nicer now that I know he’ll be here the entire time,”

Teru just smiles even more. Those sharp little fangs of his- Akane adores them, even if the exorcist is happy over a lie. Akane doesn’t want to be the one to take that smile away from him.

So maybe he’ll be a little fake during the rest of their hangout. That's okay. Teru can’t tell he’s faking just yet. Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made. Even if they happen over and over again. (He’ll know what that’s like later, too.)

“That’s good to hear,” Teru hums, “We’re falling a bit behind.. let’s catch up, shall we?”

“Right,” Akane nods, glancing down as he feels Teru take his hand in his own. “Are you prepared, president?”

“Way more than you are~”

“Oh, please. I’m ready to see you chicken out,”

“Whatever you say~”

Thirty minutes go by and neither of them let their guard down. The scares can’t seem to catch them by surprise- which isn’t shocking considering they’re both teenagers who have seen the horrors of the world.

Though they can’t say the same about Kou. He’s screaming and jumping at every little thing.

“Aoi-senpai, have you ever been to a haunted house before?”

“Hm,” Akane puts his hands in his pockets, “Nope, I don’t think so.”

“Eh? No fair, how come you aren’t getting scared, then??”

“Just an expert. I prepared myself weeks in advance, that way I wouldn’t get scared by any little thing. I worked hard and trained for hooours,” he snickers, sarcasm heavy in his tone. “I also helped set it up,”

“That explains it!” Kou huffs, stopping in his tracks to turn around. “It’s no fair! You and Teru-nii know everything about this place then!” he then pauses, “Wait,” he proceeds to look around in confusion. The school is dark, though; it’s difficult to see his surroundings. “Where is Teru-nii?”

“Huh?” Akane’s face scrunches up in confusion, “What do you mean? He was right next to.. me?”

When Akane turns to his right, no one’s in sight. Teru is nowhere to be seen. All he can see is a dirty mirror, though this room is littered with them, so he isn’t very surprised.

Just where could Teru have gone? How long was he not around? How had Akane not noticed?

“Do you think he’s just trying to scare us?” Kou mumbles, “Or did we lose him somewhere?”

“Minamoto-kaichou is a very..” Akane’s voice trails off. He thinks for a moment before rewording his thoughts. “..interesting person with interesting decisions. It’s kind of hard to tell, but I’m sure we’ll come across him soon. Just be prepared for-”

“What if he’s scared?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, all on his own..” Kou frowns, “I wouldn’t wanna be alone in a haunted house either,”

“Hey,” Akane ruffles his hair with his own hand, “I can tell you’re worried about him, but he’ll be just fine, okay?” He offers a small smile. He gives his best effort at comforting. “He’s strong and independent.. for the most part when he isn’t being stupid. The second he realizes we’ve been separated, he’s going to start looking for us right away. I don’t like to admit it, but he is pretty smart whether I like it or not.”

“Mmmmh..” Kou whines a little before a smile appears right back on his face. “Okay, you’re right! Teru-nii will find us in no time!” he then giggles a bit after. “I can see why Teru-nii likes you so much. You’re really cool, Aoi-senpai!”

“Just give it a few minutes and he’ll pop out of the shadows. He does that to me a lot, he’s always there at the right moment. Right when I need him..” Akane pushes up his glasses before flustering up, “Wait, what do you mean by that last part?”

“Eh?” Kou’s smile only widens. “Never mind!”

“You can’t just say that and not elaborate-”

“I’m doing it right now, actually!”

“You get that from your brother, don’t you? He’s always refusing to properly explain things..” he crosses his arms with a huff, “Come on, just tell me! Minamoto-chan said something similar at some point, I’m pretty sure..”

“I can’t!”

“I won’t tell your brother!”

“Mmh, still can’t!”

“Minamotos are so stubborn,” it’s ironic coming from Akane to say the least. He’s the most stubborn person there is. “Just tell me a little?”

“Hmmmm..” Kou thinks for a moment, “Fine, but only a little- just like you said!”

Akane feels his mind race with curiosity. Is he finally going to realize what Teru really thinks of him? Is he finally going to know whether it’s safe to confess or not?

“I think Teru-nii has a-” Kou suddenly stops talking.

“Has a? Has a what?”

Kou doesn’t respond. He only takes a step back as silently as possible.

“You can't cut yourself off like that, you know..”

Still no response.

“Hey, are you.. okay?”

He shakily raises a hand up to point behind Akane.

“Oh, you’re just scared..” Akane lets out a sigh of relief, “Nothing here is real, remember? Nothing is actually going to hurt you, they’re all just staff members in costumes. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

“B-But..”

“If you’re that scared, I’ll face them myself. Just..” he feels two hands go onto his shoulders, one on his left and the other on his right. The grip is oddly tight. “Uhm,” things have suddenly become a lot more awkward. If he remembers correctly, grabbing students is strictly prohibited- it can get the staff fired. “Minamoto-kaichou, this isn’t funny.” He assumes it’s Teru since that’s the one logical explanation.

But those hands don’t feel like Teru’s.

“Tch..” he huffs before pulling himself away. He needs to put genuine force as if the person was trying to keep him there- so his glasses unfortunately fall onto the ground. “Ridiculous..”

When he turns around and picks his glasses up, no one’s there.

“..huh?”

He looks around. There’s no one but him and Kou in the room, other than a few dozen mirrors. It would have been impossible for someone to sneak behind Akane and run off, both of him and Kou would have heard the footsteps.

“That’s..” Akane walks back towards the mirror his back was facing previously. He stares into it, though no one stares back as expected. “..strange,” he raises a hand upward and presses it against the mirror.

A hand grabs his wrist.

Okay, yeah. That’s weird. That’s really weird. This is the part where Akane is supposed to start freaking out.

Until a head pops out of the mirror.

“Quit moving!” the figure tells him, “I’m trying to return your thingy!”

Oh. It’s just him. Akane has no reason to freak out.

“Jesus, Christ.. No.3.” Akane clears his throat, “What the hell was that for? Was it necessary to scare the living shit out of both me and Minamoto-kouhai?” he scoffs, pulling away just to cross his arms and be petty about his life. “What thingy are you talking about? I haven’t lost anything today.”

“This thing!” Mitsuba holds up Mirai through the mirror as if she were some sort of teddy bear. Akane is unbearably pissed by that action, but he won’t say a word. “Take it back! I told you not to let her roam around my boundary anymore! She made a mess and broke the mirror in your boundary!” Mitsuba then pauses, “Wait, Minamoto-kun is with you?”

“Mirai?” Akane takes her gently from his hands gently. He holds her like a little baby in his hands. “First of all, she’s not a thing, nor is she an it. You have no respect,” he huffs, (I’d curse you out if Minamoto-kouhai weren’t right behind me. You’re lucky I have human decency.. and also a child in my hands.) Maybe, just maybe- he’s just a bit overprotective when it comes to Mirai. His thoughts tend to show that. “And second of all, I didn’t let her out of the boundary. I haven’t visited once today. She must have gotten out on her own,” he then blinks. “Minamoto-kouhai? Yes, he’s with me.”

“Mitsuba?” Kou peeks from behind. He isn’t scared anymore; just as Akane expected. Kou and Mitsuba are pretty close if he recalls. “Oh, you were the one scaring us! It’s no wonder I couldn’t see anyone behind Aoi-senpai at first!”

“Ehehe, maaaybe. Not my fault you guys are so easy to scare! I wasn’t even trying to do that!” Mitsuba quickly hops out of the mirror, pushing past both Akane and Mirai to get closer to Kou. (Self-centered pink bastard. When Minamoto-kaichou finds out about this, I’m sure he’ll destroy you piece by piece you stupid little-) “Anyway, what’s going on today? There are so many students around,”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” Kou seems pretty excited to explain, though, so Akane doesn’t say a word. “The school is a haunted house today! It’s Halloween!”

“That’s why there were annoying high school division third years smashing my mirrors.. Hmph..” Mitsuba raises up his sleeve covered hand and covers his mouth with it, though it’s not enough to muffle his speech. It’s just a habit of his. “The students here are reeeally annoying.”

“You said annoying twice, I get your point! Sometimes people are just mean..”

“Just had to make it clear, lame-earring! You aren’t the smartest so I had to make sure you understood. And yeah, obviously.. but to a cute boy like me? It’s not fair that-”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Akane interrupts their conversation with a slight huff, tapping his foot against the floor as he waits for both Mitsuba and Kou to turn in his direction. “Are you two done here? We still have something to do, Minamoto-kouhai.”

“Sorry, Aoi-senpai!” Kou blurts out. His face is a soft shade of red; Akane can tell what’s going on very clearly. He just embarrassed a teenage boy in front of his crush. Well, he knows what it feels like anyway. “Okay, Mitsuba.. we should probably get going, now,”

“So soon? Why?”

“We’re supposed to be on the lookout for Teru-nii! We lost him somewhere on our way.. here..” the young exorcist’s voice trails off as the supernatural in front of him intertwines their hands together. He’s become a stuttering mess after one simple gesture. “..so, yeah.. but Aoi-senpai said he’d be okay.. on his own, ‘cuz.. he’s independent, and stuff. And that he’s probably looking for us, right now, anyway..”

“Ohh, your brother.. the scary sword holder with the mean face,” Mitsuba mumbles, “Hey, you’ve gotta stay with me, then.. I don’t want him to accidentally knock into one of my mirrors. I’m too cute to electrocute!”

“That sounds more like an excuse to hang out.. Teru-nii wouldn’t find you so easily unless he was looking for you. Plus, he wouldn’t exorcize when there are so many people around!”

“As if I’d ever want to hang out with a loser like you!” he lets go of Kou’s hands, “Fine, then. But just to be safe.. I guess I’ll have to go back to my boundary,”

“Eh? Well, I didn’t say I wouldn’t protect you! We can still hang out!” Kou grabs right back onto Mitsuba’s hands. “I’ll come with!”

“I guess you caaan come if you really want.. if you won’t be a bother and accidentally lead your crazy brother towards us,”

“Of course I want to! I’ll make sure nothing happens, don't worry!”

Akane stares in disbelief.

Mitsuba is fully capable of protecting himself when he isn’t whining, it’s so very obvious he just wants to be around Kou. Akane can’t say the same about Kou, though- the boy is easy to fool and can be overall pretty gullible. Akane wouldn’t be surprised if he still believed Mitsuba needed someone to always be by his side.

Though that’s not the only reason he’s staring. He’s staring in envy.

While Mitsuba may be a full supernatural; he was created that way. He’ll never have to lose his life. If Akane remembers correctly, there was a former Mitsuba- a boy named Sousuke who was once alive in the human world. But that boy is gone, and Mitsuba is a different person. He’ll never understand what it’s like to die unless he’s killed. Though it’s unlikely he’d ever be brought back if that did happen.

Akane doesn't know what it feels like.

Of course he doesn’t. He’s only half supernatural because of a contract, he hasn’t died just yet. It makes him wonder if he’ll end up like Sousuke. Will Akane die a human and continue serving his duties as a clock keeper? Will he suffer knowing he was once human doing normal day-to-day things like everyone else? Mitsuba’s lucky he’s never had to die to ‘live’ on. Sure, he wishes to be human more than anything, but Akane is being selfish. He doesn’t care.

Akane’s also jealous of Mitsuba’s relationship with Kou. He has so much to be petty about.

He’s not jealous of the fact that Kou likes Mitsuba better. In fact, he’s happy for them. Their feelings are obviously reciprocated. They’re awkward teenagers and want excuses to hang out or be close to each other. Just two idiots in love.

Yet that’s what Akane hates so much.

He wishes he and Teru would do things like that. Sure, they hold hands and hang out sometimes- but he wants them to be romantic. He wants Teru to fluster up around him and get all nervous just talking to him. He wants Teru to hold his hand and offer protection.

Everyone expresses love differently, though. Akane understands if Teru isn’t flustered as easily, or if he can talk confidently. Maybe it’s the trust that bothers him so much. Mitsuba and Kou have no trouble trusting each other with their own lives- while Teru and Akane tend to lie about the most important things.

“Hey, Minamoto-kouhai.”

“Hm?” Kou is still holding onto Mitsuba’s hand when Akane decides to speak up. “Yeah? What is it?”

“Keep watching over No.3 for the time being,” Akane tells him, “I have to return a certain someone before she starts leaving candy wrappers everywhere around the school. Just keep an eye out for Minamoto-kaichou,”

“Okay, I will!” Kou beams, “You won’t tell Teru-nii that me and Mitsuba are.. uhm..”

“I won’t.” Akane pulls out a little candy and puts it in Mirai’s hands before she decides she wants to say something. Unfortunately, she has adapted his hater mindset and is completely honest about it. “Don’t worry about it. He won’t know a thing,”

“Thanks, Aoi-senpai! You’re the best!”

“It’s no problem,” he sighs with a smile, “Have fun,”

“We will, four-eyes!”

“Don’t make me change my mind you-” he clears his throat, “Ahem.. just avoid getting yourselves in trouble. I’ll see you both later,”

And with that, he walks off- carrying Mirai in his hands.

“What was Akane gonna say?”

“Nothing you need to know. Maybe I’ll tell you when you’re older.”

“Mirai isn’t getting any older!”

“Exactly my point,”

“Akane is no fun.”

Akane giggles softly as he listens to Mirai huff and whine. In the end, he’s rubbed off a bit too much on her- she’s like a smaller, more excited version of him. She has two times as much energy. He’s glad.

“Sometimes, you just have to hold your thoughts in.” he tells her, “Sometimes you have to refuse the urge to be a hater. Got it?”

“Akane is a hater? Does Akane hate Mitsuba and.. what’s the other one?”

“No.3 and Minamoto-kouhai. I don’t think No.3 would like you using his name, he’s petty.”

“Mmhm, Mitsuba is petty.”

“No.3,” he corrects her again, lifting her slightly so he’s carrying her correctly. “And to answer your question, I’m not really sure myself. I guess you could consider me a hater, but not of them specifically.”

“What does Akane think of them?”

“Me?” he blinks, “I’m not really sure about that one either. I mean, I’m glad they’re happy together.”

“Why were Mitsuba and Kou holding hands?”

“You’re really going to make this a questionnaire, aren’t you?”

“Mirai is curious.” Mirai hums, crumbling up a candy wrapper as she speaks. “Mirai wants to know more,”

“Well, okay then.” Akane glances around. Thankfully there’s no one in sight- otherwise he would have looked insane talking to the air. He’s still in his human form. “They’re in love with each other, that’s the simplest way to put it.”

“Kinda like how Akane likes Teru?”

“I guess you could say that,” he thinks for a moment, “But our love isn’t the same. It’s pretty different in its own ways,”

“Why?”

“How do I put this?” He doesn't know exactly how to explain things to a little girl. He’s used to dumbing things down for Lemon, but Mirai has the mindset of a five year old; so he has to make his words a lot simpler than usual. Though it’s not a problem, he just has to think about his wording a bit more. “It’s unrequited. That means Minamoto-kaichou.. doesn’t like me back. I like him, and that’s all there is to it.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah.”

“That makes Mirai sad,”

“Hm?” he pauses, “And why is that, Mirai?”

“Because it makes Akane sad, so Mirai feels sad, too.” Mirai mumbles. Akane is shocked that she knows that considering she’s a supernatural. He didn’t know she could actually grasp his sadness without him needing to explicitly say it, let alone feel empathetic in return. “Why doesn’t Teru like Akane back? Doesn’t he know it makes Akane feel bad?”

“That’s.. it’s complicated,” he mutters, “He doesn’t know, no- but because he doesn’t know I love him, either. Whether he did or didn’t know, though; he isn’t obliged to return my feelings- and that’s okay.” he doesn’t want to negatively influence her thoughts. Sure, she won’t ever quite understand- but it’s fine to try. “Whether he likes me back or not, I’m glad we’re friends. He actually asked me to come here with him, but he got lost.”

“Why hasn’t Akane told Teru yet? Why is he just happy being Teru’s friend when he wants to be more?”

“That’s also complicated,” he shakes his head, “I don’t want to tell him because I don’t want us to stop being friends. It’s better to stay together as friends than to never be together at all after that,”

“Why would Teru and Akane stop being friends?”

“Hmmmm.. I guess it depends on the person. Minamoto-kaichou has been confessed to by countless people and still talks to them, but I know he feels awkward about it sometimes. They like a part of him that isn’t really.. him.” Yeah, this is difficult. “I don’t want him to feel that way around me. I don’t want him to assume I love that fake part.. and I don’t want him to feel awkward talking to me either. He said he felt relaxed when around me, and I don’t want to ruin that.”

“Is Akane suuure Teru doesn’t like him back? It sounds like he does..”

“..I’m sure. But no more questions, okay? I have to go now,” Akane sighs, placing Mirai down onto the floor carefully. They’re in front of the entrance of their boundary; an old clock. There’s a way to enter, of course, but Mirai can do it way quicker. “Be careful, Mirai,” he kneels down to her height, “There are a lot of students today. I know that sounds fun, but there are exorcists, too. I don’t want anything bad happening to you, so don’t leave the boundary on your own like that anymore. Got it?”

“Okay!” Mirai hums, “Mirai only got out to find Akane, anyway.”

“Huh? Me?”

“Yeah,” she nods, “Mirai missed him. Mirai was worried about how Akane was,”

“Mmmmh..” Akane smiles warmly, “Well, I missed you, too- but I’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after. Nothing bad will happen to me. You know what? Here, take this,” he gets a few extra candies from his pockets and places them in her hands, “Today is Halloween, so I’ll let you have more than three today, okay? But you can’t tell the old man or he’ll kill me,” not literally, thankfully.

Mirai lets out a little gasp in response, “Okay, okay! Mirai won’t tell!” She's energetic as always. “Mirai will see Akane tomorrow!”

“See you tomorrow, Mirai.”

Akane watches her leave and makes sure she’s actually returned to her spot in their boundary. He puts his glasses back on before leaving himself.

He’s now on the lookout. Whether it’s for Kou or Teru, he needs to find one of them- he doesn’t want to be the only one in the house. Though it’s odd he hasn’t come across any other students. Perhaps they had gone a different direction? Maybe they had gone out of the house already, or snuck into the areas students aren’t allowed to be in?

Though the more he walks, the darker the hallway he’s in seems to get. The hallway seems almost endless; going on and on as he sees no end to it. He’s beginning to get suspicious.

He can hear his footsteps and his own breathing, but not a single sound from anything else. He’d expect a staff member to jump at him by now, scaring him and technically letting him know he’s not alone- but that hasn't happened.

Is he completely alone in the house?

No, that can’t be. This is a haunted house, after all; it’s supposed to make him feel scared- and that’s exactly what’s happening. The darkness of the school makes it harder to see if anyone has passed by him.

He’s just worried and paranoid. He’ll find someone soon.

Now his goal is to find anyone instead of just Kou and Teru.

Ten minutes have passed and not a single person has been seen.

Either Akane is absolutely losing it, or something is seriously wrong. He kind of hopes it’s not the latter, he’d much rather be insane than die in his school out of all places. (But then where else would he die?)

Has he been walking in circles? He can’t tell anymore.

There’s a sudden force on his back. It knocks him straight out of his thoughts.

It knocks him off his feet, too- that force doesn’t feel normal, whether it intended to push him onto the ground or not. When he hits the floor, the palms of his hands scrape against it, causing them to sting. He lets out a small hiss of pain.

He can’t scramble to his feet. Whatever that force is, it’s preventing him from escaping.

He only has the chance to turn his body around to face where the force came from.

But there’s no one there.

Is it just Mitsuba playing tricks on him again? Though the supernatural is out with Kou, there’s no way he’d ditch that just to scare Akane. It can’t be Mirai, either- he made sure she was safe inside their boundary. She wouldn’t do something like this, anyway.

There’s a sudden pressure on Akane’s chest.

Akane feels like he’s suffocating. He can’t breathe properly at all, the pressure is crushing him far too much. He squirms and struggles, attempting to get away; but it feels like someone’s shoe is pressing against his body. Yet, he still can’t see anyone- so what the hell is going on?

Is this force trying to scare him? Is it trying to get him out of the school?

Is it trying to kill him?

Slowly, the realization hits him. Whatever this thing is, it wants him gone.

Though his body is beginning to grow weak. He’s waited too long, his vision is all blurry and his head is beginning to lose focus.

When Akane panics, he freezes and rethinks everything that’s ever happened to him. It’s his worst flaw. He can never react well to life-threatening situations if he freezes up. He can never truly save himself.

Though he manages to push through it. He still has a little strength left in him, he better use it before it’s all gone.

After a few more seconds of flailing around, he gets the feeling off his chest- though in the process of getting up, something hits his face. The feeling burns against his skin.

His glasses knock straight off of him, too- a shattering sound following.

This is not a friendly force, no- not at all. He’s right about it wanting him gone.

There’s a horrible stinging on Akane’s face. It’s painfully horrible, and he can feel something warm leak down his face.

Is that blood?

He doesn’t wait to find out. He reaches down for his glasses as fast as he can before looking around one more time- and making a run for it. He avoids contact with whatever the hell he just faced once again.

Though once his glasses were off, he could see the figure of something. Whether it was a person or a thing, the shadow was too dark to let him tell.

He doesn’t care right now. He’s just glad he almost escaped whatever could have happened to him.

Slowly but surely, the hallway he’s running in begins to brighten. Maybe the lights weren’t working in the previous one, he’s not sure- but he doesn’t care about that right now, either.

Had he entered a different hallway? Did he escape the circle?

He knocks into something roughly.

“Ah..”

He recognizes that voice. He recognizes that scent, that horrible shirt, that awful softness-

“Aoi..? What..”

“Minamoto-kaichou,” he mumbles once Teru turns around to look at him. “There- there was, there..”

“Aoi..” Teru blinks in confusion. He stares at Akane as if he’d just committed some sort of crime. “Calm down..”

“N-No, but- there-”

“Is he okay?”

Akane doesn’t recognize that voice.

There’s a girl with Teru. She’s in Teru’s grade, if Akane remembers correctly- she’s sweet, yet she doesn’t let anyone walk all over her. She’s smart, too. Everything Akane’s ever wanted to be.

Why is she with Teru?

They were close before Akane knocked into him.

He’s third-wheeling again, isn’t he?

How could something go so terribly wrong? This is all so sudden.

“Are you listening to me?” Teru’s words bring him back from his thoughts, “You’re bleeding, I need to take you-”

“No,” Akane mumbles, “I’m- I just-”

He clenches his fist before making a run for it again.

This time, he runs all the way home.

“Fuck.”

Akane stares at himself in his room mirror in disbelief. Teru was right, just as he suspected. He is bleeding. There’s a cut straight down his right eyebrow. It’s fresh and the blood is still dripping. Some of it has even stained his shirt.

When he pulls out his glasses, they’re broken. The lenses have been shattered into tons of pieces. He’s no longer prevented from seeing those nasty supernaturals around the school.

Though that’s not the only thing he’s worried about. Not only did Akane knock into Teru and run from him, but he broke the glasses he was given, too.

He just ruined his shot. It’s no wonder Teru will never return his feelings.

Akane is terrible.

He can hear his phone ring in the back of his room. It’s Teru, he assumes- and so he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need to explain anything right now. He doesn’t want to.

He puts a bandaid on his head and calls it a day. He flops onto his bed and doesn’t bother changing his clothes.

He’s a mess. He falls asleep with regret.

(He has 2 months left.)

Chapter Text

It’s late.

Not too late, of course. The sun is still up and it’s not way too dark out. It’s easy to see the directions of the street and surroundings overall. Not to mention, it’s November 30th; so it’s not too late considering Akane’s lifespan either.

Though the sun has already begun to set and Akane is still at school. It’s that sort of late. It’s just odd to be at school around this time, excluding those who are in clubs or participate in after school activities. Even then, most of those things have ended. The intercom has stated that everyone should be heading home soon.

Akane won’t be doing that just yet.

He sits alone in the student council room. There weren’t any special meetings, nor were there any important discussions that needed to be had that day. It was just an ordinary day; nothing was different compared to the day before. Akane does have work he needs to finish, though, so he sits in front of a table with a bunch of papers piled in front of him. They were once scattered, but he took the time out of his day to pile them up neatly. It’s technically his job to do that, anyway. He’s the vice president.

He holds a pen in his left hand. His grip is tight, but not tight enough to break it- at least not again. He’s come to a conclusion that he probably isn’t slowly dying, and it’ll be inflicted by another person instead judging by his book (that he pathetically ripped to pieces), so his body is just fine. He clicks the pen in a continuous rhythm as the seconds go by. He hasn’t written a single thing the entire time he’s been there; he only watches as the ballpoint disappears and reappears once again. It’s uninteresting and repetitive, exactly something Akane would do.

His cheek is resting on his right hand’s palm as he listens to the sound of his watch tick in sync with his pen clicking. The sound is unsettlingly loud; ticking over, and over, and over again- reminding him that time will never truly stop. It’s ironic considering he’s the clock keeper of the present. If time had to stop for anyone, it’d have to be for him.

When his time is officially over, it won’t really stop for his sake, will it?

He’ll just have to listen to it go on and on without him. When he’s gone, nothing will change. The world will continue as if it was normal. Everyone will just stay the same with their daily lives.

He blinks.

Would his teachers notice his disappearance? Would they wonder where their oh so amazing and polite star student has gone? Where the number one helper in their class has run off to? Maybe they’d think he was skipping until they heard of the news. Even then, why would they care about someone so insignificant?

Would the student council recognize that their vice president has gone missing? Would they notice the mess around the room and ask why no one has cleaned up yet? Would they miss him only because he was in charge of doing all their leftover work? Do any of them even know his first name?

And what about his friends? Would they care, too?

Would Suzuto wonder where his teasing dummy went? Would his honesty and true self fade into the nothingness as he refuses to tease anyone else because he fears they might dislike him for it; losing himself the same way Akane’s personality went down the drain? Would Lemon wonder what his best friend is up to? Would he wonder if Akane had finally given up on that great person he always wanted to be and just threw everything away? Would he mourn at all? Would Aoi even think about him? Would she go on and never consider once that something might have happened to him? Would she continue to fake her entire life for those around her once he’s gone?

And Teru, too- he’s not quite just a friend, but would Akane cross his mind at all?

Ever since that incident in October, things have gone downhill for them. Akane had completely closed up about his injury and hasn’t expressed any sort of romantic feelings around Teru since then. He assumes it’s out of complete and utter jealousy despite it being more like fear, but even then; he’s come to a realization.

He and Teru got closer and closer- only to fall apart at the last minute. All their progress, gone; just because Akane took a wrong turn and got his face cut by some stranger he couldn’t quite see. He’s been fake since then, avoiding any questions on why he isn’t being honest by Teru. He’s been polite to everyone.

Why is he being this way? He knows their trust is something they need to work on already, so why is he making the problem worse? He wishes he could just open his mouth and tell the truth, he wants to tell Teru everything- yet absolutely nothing at the same time.

He lets his hands entangle in his hair. They curl around the strands and tug ever so slightly, leaving a stinging feeling in his scalp.

It’s not even just with Teru.

He’s ruined everything with everyone.

Aoi is completely out of reach because he was honest with his feelings in May. Lemon has slightly begun to distance since June even though he apologized. Hell, even Suzuto, the friendship with the boy Akane thought was rekindled- he’s been a little quieter, too.

It’s not even just his closest friends. Everyone has been acting strange. (Now he’s just starting to sound insane, isn’t he?)

Nene hasn’t gone around him much. She’s still present, but their conversations are a little awkward. The same could be said for Kou and Mitsuba. Kyou hasn’t really mentioned hanging out and Akane isn’t really sure if he’s being avoided or not. Generally everyone has been that way.

Do they know something’s off? Do they know something he doesn’t, and just don’t tell him themselves?

He lets out a shaky sigh. He no longer has his pen to fidget with; he instead bounces his leg up and down while he messes with his hair and continues to listen to his watch tick.

Maybe they’re all planning something against him. Maybe that’s it.

Akane swallows nervously.

He’s done them all wrong in some way in the past.

He lied to Aoi for over ten years and treated her the exact same way everyone else did. He acknowledged her as that fake persona that she created for herself; or at least made it seem like he did. He was a bad friend to her overall, for her to hate him wouldn’t be very shocking nor would it be surprising.

He’s way too honest with Lemon. That boy knows who he genuinely hates and dislikes, the horrible things Akane likes to say about them- not to mention his issues with aggression. Maybe Lemon has grown to hate him over the years; maybe he’s fake just like Akane and Akane hasn’t realized yet.

Suzuto is a whole different story on his own. Akane hated him for years and he isn’t sure if that resentment was ever reciprocated; but if it was, is it possible Suzuto still hates him? Is it possible Suzuto still sees him as a rival and nothing more? Perhaps those teases of his aren’t just playful jokes, but what Suzuto really thinks of him.

Is Nene still mad at him for what happened on Valentine’s Day? He doesn’t know if she was ever angry in the first place. Either way, he’s been a bit rude to her during other times- he stole her pencil once when they were first years in middle school. Does she want some sort of revenge on him for that? Does she spite him and everything he’s done to upset her?

Is Kyou mad at him, too? It’s not like he ever reached out to Akane after their little mixup with Teru, but Akane never reached out to him, either- maybe Kyou expected him to start the conversation. He’s socially awkward, after all; Akane should’ve considered the situation in more depth. He shouldn’t have been selfish and waited.

What about Kou and Mitsuba? Did they laugh at him for third wheeling? Do they look down upon him for being loveless and pathetic? Is Mitsuba planning something because Mirai wandered off once? Is Kou irritated with Akane wanting to know more about Teru from him?

Honestly, there’s no questioning Teru.

Teru is most definitely mad at Akane, there’s no doubt about it. He knows very well Akane is avoiding him- and if he knows about Akane’s feelings, there’s a high chance his anger has doubled. Akane isn’t really sure about that part.

Akane bites his lip. It stings. Maybe he’s drawing blood. Maybe he’s not. Who knows? He for sure doesn’t.

He lets his hands slide down from his hair and over his eyes. They’re beginning to sting, too- but not because he’s injured, no, not at all- he’s holding back tears.

Why is everything so frustrating? Why has everything gotten so much more complicated over the span of a year? It hasn’t even been a full year, but it will be soon- and he isn’t really ready for that just yet.

Why does he have to die?

He still has a lot of questions he hasn’t gotten the chance to answer; tons of questions he will never get to answer. It’s his fault for pushing everything so last minute. It’s his fault for being in denial for so long. He’s already been angry, he’s already begged and begged- yet what is he even begging for? A chance to continue his life as normal? An opportunity to live longer and stay with everyone else?

If he could, he’d trade away his lifespan for another. He’d feel terrible for that unlucky person he swaps with, but he just wants to live a little more- he’s a kid. He’ll take what he can get at this point. He just wants to live.

He sort of wishes he never knew he was going to die in the first place.

If he didn’t know, he wouldn’t be panicking over it now. He would’ve died unknowingly and that would have been way better. He would have lived every day normally instead of acting like it could be his last.

He lets out a choked sob.

Oh, that’s embarrassing.

That’s really embarrassing.

Why is he crying in the first place? In the end, it’s his fault all his relationships are falling apart. He got so caught up in trying to make things well between him and others only to fail and not do anything about his lifespan because he was too busy focusing on completing his wishes. Sure, he saw his book and knows a bit about his death, and now he’s a bit more accomplished goal-wise before December, but that’s it. He’s still a failure.

His tears drip down his cheeks and onto his hands; they leak through and seep into the pages on the table in front of him. His tears are salty and shameful. Akane feels shameful.

He wipes his eyes continuously, though nothing seems to solve his problem. The tears just keep coming and there’s nothing he can do to fix it. The little sunlight seeping through the student council’s window highlights them ever so slightly.

His face is so inconveniently warm. It’s an uncomfortable feeling.

Crying is an uncomfortable feeling.

Especially when he hears someone open the room’s door. He expected everyone to have left the school already, he wasn’t prepared for this to happen. He doesn’t have any excuses ready.

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath. He quickly reaches over for the closest item that isn’t completely soaked- a clipboard with some notes on it. Those notes are scribbled out from his earlier classes, so if they were to get wet, it wouldn’t matter anyway.

He hides his face with it, peeking over ever so slightly to see who entered the room.

“Good evening, Aoi,”

Someone he doesn’t exactly want to see while he’s crying his eyes out. As always, nothing goes his way.

“Good evening,” Akane mumbles, his voice just above a whisper. “Do you need something?” his voice cracks mid sentence. Oh, that just has to be embarrassing. It’s so very obvious that he’s been crying. A simple clipboard covering his rosy cheeks and tear stains exactly can’t hide that fact.

“..hm?”

“I asked.. if you needed something,” he pulls the clipboard over his entire face again. Surely Teru hasn’t noticed just yet, right? He hasn’t said anything. “Shouldn’t you be at home already? It’s getting.. late,”

“Ah,” Teru blinks. “I suppose I should, but I left something here earlier. Shouldn't you be at home already, as well?”

“Yeah, I guess,” a wave of panic crashes over Akane as he notices Teru walking in his direction. “I’ll be going home in a few minutes, though.. so, uhm..”

“What are you working on?”

“Some.. some student council work, that’s all.” he bites his quivering lip. He can feel the tears beginning to stir up again; he always cries more when talking to someone. It’s just so frustrating and difficult- trying to keep himself together once he’s already lost it. “You should just get what you need and go, or- or you’re going to be in trouble, you know,”

“Mmh..” Teru pauses as soon as he’s starting right beside Akane’s chair. “..hey, could I see your face for a moment?”

“What? Why?”

“Just a small glance,”

“But..”

Teru puts his hand on the top of the clipboard, slowly pushing it downwards. Akane’s grip is easy to defy; it’s soft and weak- only because he wasn’t putting any real effort into it. Teru seems a bit taken off guard by what he sees.

“Aoi..”

“Don’t say anything,” Akane quickly lifts the clipboard back up, hiding the tears dripping down his cheeks. “I’m leaving now. My mom’s gonna be pissed if she’s awake, anyway, and.. and-”

Teru only takes the clipboard down again; this time putting it on the table- sliding it away so it’s out of Akane’s reach.

“Come here,”

Akane swallows thickly before standing up. He shuts his eyes tightly, waiting for Teru to scold him and tell him off for crying in a workspace- but that moment never comes.

Instead, he feels arms wrap around his body.

Akane isn’t really used to hugs.

It’s self explanatory; he only ever got them from Aoi when they were younger or Lemon when he was having a bad day with his parents. Otherwise, no one has ever purposely tried to hold him. The feeling isn’t completely new, but he still doesn’t know how to react to it.

He slowly wraps his arms around Teru in return, burying his face in the exorcist’s chest- muffling his quiet sobs. His tears soak through Teru’s shirt, unfortunately, but Akane is already too embarrassed to care.

“There, there..” Teru whispers, “Let it all out,”

Akane isn’t used to that, either. As stated in the past, neither him nor Teru have ever really received comfort growing up. He doesn’t say a word back, though it's a party because he’s too busy crying.

His hands clutch onto the back of Teru’s shirt, gripping the cloth tightly. He didn’t expect to be sobbing in his crush’s arms that day, but it’s happening and now he has to figure out what to do.

“You’re going to be just fine,”

Will he? Akane doesn’t know if that’s true or not. Though Teru’s words give him hope; hope for a longer life and a better future. He doesn’t want to die as a kid. He doesn’t want to die at all.

Teru doesn’t know that, though.

Teru doesn’t know the future.

They stay that way for a while.

Akane is fine with that. He doesn’t mind being embraced with such care, he doesn’t mind being so close with Teru- his heart rate has slowed down and his tears have gradually come to an end. The only problem is that he isn’t exactly sure how to explain himself.

“Do you want any water?” Teru’s voice is still as gentle as can be once he breaks the silence. He acts as if Akane would break if spoken any louder too; it reminds Akane of when he almost drowned in the past. Teru’s worried voice is easy to fall asleep to. “Or perhaps something to eat? I’m sure I have something Kou made this morning in my bag,”

“No, no thanks..” Akane mumbles in response. He still doesn’t have the energy to speak normally- he doesn’t think he’ll get it back at all. At least not for today, he won’t. “..sorry, president,”

“Sorry?” Teru hums as he softly rubs Akane’s back. It’s in a nice repetitive pattern- Akane likes that. He likes when things are repetitive, and Teru knows he likes that too. It’s a nice reminder that things aren’t completely ruined between them. “Sorry for what?”

“For everything,” Akane mumbles against his shirt with his eyes screwed shut, “I’m sorry.”

“Aoi..”

Akane isn’t just apologizing for crying. He’s actually apologizing for everything.

He can’t say it verbally, but he wants to apologize for lying to Teru for the entire year. Akane wants to apologize for never just outright saying that his death is so soon. His personality is a mess on its own, so he’d probably have to apologize for that, too. That isn’t even mentioning avoiding him for the past month over a small accident.

“I’m not sure what you mean by that, but it’s alright.”

Though there’s not a single ‘I forgive you’ coming from Teru. Akane has a feeling this is intentional. A part of him stings. Maybe it’s his heart, or the small tears he feels coming on again- either one would be inconvenient.

“I actually came here to talk to you, I didn’t quite leave anything here at all.” Teru tells him, “Though I didn’t expect for you to be in such a state, so I think it’s best I bring it up some other time,”

“No, it’s fine,” Akane blurts out, “Just.. talk to me now,” he then mumbles a small, “before it’s too late.”

“..what was that last part?”

“Nothing,” he slowly pulls away from their hug, wiping his eyes to make sure his vision isn’t blurry. “It’s better to get the conversation over with, you know?”

“Do you know what I’m planning to say, then, Aoi?”

“You’re here to ask me about why I’ve been avoiding you, right?” He doesn't make eye contact, but he can feel Teru’s eyes staring into his own. “..since, that’s- what it seems like I’ve been doing,”

“Ah,” Teru pauses, “..that’s partially it, but that’s all we’ll talk about today, alright? I don’t want to push you too hard.”

“I can-”

“I insist,” he intertwines Akane’s hands with his own, “I don’t mind bringing it up some other time, I’d rather focus on figuring out what's more important now. Don’t you agree?”

“..yeah, I guess,”

“There we go,” Teru slowly brings them over to the closest couch. It’s there for the members who decide to take a break or two in between their work- and so Akane’s never really had to use it. Breaks? He doesn’t know what that is. “Are you sure you’re okay enough to do this, though? I’m not sure how long this conversation might be,”

“I’m sure,” Akane nods, sitting right beside him. Now only one of their hands are intertwined, but they’re still holding hands, nonetheless; that’s what matters to him the most. “Let’s get it over with,”

“Okay,” Teru clicks his tongue, “Well, you already know what I’m going to ask,”

“Yeah..” Akane swallows thickly. His free hand finds itself tugging at the end of his sweater vest; it’s a nervous habit of his. What exactly is he supposed to say, anyway? Is he supposed to lie even more and contribute to their ongoing trust issues? Is he supposed to come clean? “I just..”

“Take your time,”

Akane glances around. He doesn’t know what to do.

“I saw you with someone else,”

“..mhm?”

He decides to be semi-honest. He’s not going to lie completely, as Teru will be able to see through him and grow even more suspicious- making their problems way worse than they already are. Akane is simply going to make up an excuse that technically is true.

(And then he wonders why their relationship is going nowhere. It’s his fault. He’ll regret it in the end.)

“I didn’t.. know how to feel about it,” Akane mumbles, “And.. uhm- never mind, about the cut on my face, that’s.. also something you questioned that day,” he fidgets more, “I ran into No.3 on my way to you. Though he was in a mirror and sort of.. knocked me over,”

“He knocked you over?”

“I didn’t notice him at first, so he caught me off guard.” he prays Teru can fall for his lies. He’s making it up on the spot; it makes him worry about how Mitsuba will treat him in the future. Maybe he should just be honest; but alas, he chooses not to be. “My.. glasses, they uhm..”

“The ones I enchanted for you? What about them?”

“They also got knocked over, except they hit the floor way rougher than I did.” Akane points over at his backpack. It’s slouched right beside the seat he was previously sitting on. “..they broke, they’re still in there.”

“You haven’t thrown them out?”

“No, I didn’t.. want to,” Akane sighs, “..you’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not,” Teru shakes his head, “It was an honest mistake. I do have to say, you’re a bit clumsy for that.. however, it was No.3’s fault, not yours~ so I can’t say much. He’s quite the cocky mystery, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, he is,”

“Mmh..” he then hums. Akane’s glad he’s buying the lame excuses so far. “Though that doesn’t really explain why you were avoiding me specifically. I have noticed you haven’t been wearing your glasses, nonetheless- so I suppose it’s nice to know the true reason.”

(True reason? Well, he has been suspicious of me for some time.. It’s not surprising he’s already come up with a reason for all of this. I wonder what he really thinks, then. Akane thinks, I hope it’s not too bad.)

“I..” there’s an awkward pause in the student council room. For a moment, Akane’s heartbeat pounding in his chest from pure anxiety is all that he can hear. “I was jealous, president.”

“Hm?”

“I was jealous that you were with someone else,” he blurts out. (Is that really the best he can think of? Way to go, problem avoider. He’s just digging himself into a deep, deep hole.) “So I didn’t want to talk to you at the time. I didn’t know how to deal with how I felt for the past month, I felt.. bad for messing up your date, or something.”

“Date?”

“..yeah, with that girl? You know, the nice one with the good grades?”

“Aoi..”

“You don’t have to rub it in my face,” he quickly retracts his arm, “I get it, I’m happy for you. If that’s what you want to do, then go for it, I just-”

“It wasn’t a date. I’m not interested in her,”

“..huh?”

Teru can’t help but chuckle slightly. He lifts his own hand to cover his mouth, though. “I apologize if it came off that way, but we’re just friends. She’s quite the wonderful person, yes.. but I wouldn’t exactly date her.”

“Oh,” Akane huffs, “Okay, well.. If I knew that, I.. uhm..”

“Thank you for being honest with me, though~” Teru smiles at him, “If it was something as small as that, you should’ve just talked to me. We would have had it solved in a matter of seconds~”

“I was afraid you’d be mad for those two reasons, I didn’t want any sort of confrontation..”

“I know,” Teru grabs onto Akane’s hand, pressing a soft kiss on the top of the soft skin. Akane’s face flusters up at a rapid rate. “I’m not mad at all, Aoi.. if you were being honest with me, I’m actually glad you admitted that.” Akane blinks at the response. (There’s a part of Teru that still doesn’t believe him. A part of Teru that knows this isn’t the full story.) “Just know you can talk to me about anything, okay?”

Akane bites his lip.

“President, there’s.. something else, too.”

“Hm? And what might that be?”

He doesn’t know how to talk without sounding absolutely insane. He doesn’t exactly want Teru to look down at him, nor does he want Teru to worry too much- but with what he’s going to say, that’s sort of inevitable.

“I think.. someone’s been following me.”

Teru’s smile drops just as soon as it comes. Akane feels bad for being the cause, but Teru asked for it- he wanted Akane to be a little more honest. “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know..” Akane mutters under his breath, “I just feel these eyes on my back whenever I’m at school. When I leave, I can’t feel them at all- but when I’m here, it’s like they follow me everywhere I go.” he sighs. One of his legs begins to bounce up and down. “At first I thought maybe it was just some random person being weird, or maybe someone who wanted to say something to me but never had the confidence.. but then the staring got more and more frequent- and intense, too. I feel like it wants to hurt me, but then.. I sound like the paranoid one now, huh?”

“Aoi..” Teru blinks. Usually he knows what to say right away, as Akane knows he pretends to know what he’s doing to seem better than he actually is; but now he’s hesitating on his words. “Do you have any idea who it might be?” He holds Akane’s hand once again, letting Akane squeeze onto it for comfort. “A student? A supernatural?”

“That’s the thing,” Akane shakes his head, “..I don’t- I don’t know.” he hates not knowing. It makes his death more unpredictable- which is odd because he’s been given the exact date on when it’s going to happen. “I thought at first.. Maybe it’d be a stranger, or something- but now I’m starting to worry it’s one of my friends.”

“Any friend in particular?”

“No, it’s.. it’s all of them.” he pauses, “Not like, all of them want revenge- but it’s possible, you know?”

“So what you’re trying to say is that you’re suspicious of all your friends?”

“Well, when you put it that way, it makes me sound like an untrusting jerk..” he mumbles, “But yeah, I guess so..”

“Aoi,” Teru reaches over for Akane’s other hand, holding them both in between his own. Teru’s hands are warm and soft; Akane adores that about him, though that isn’t what he’s thinking about right now. He decides to be a good listener. “I don’t care if you’re anxious around one person or ten, around everyone or no one at all..” he lets out a small sigh, “If you believe anyone out there is trying to harm you, I’ll do my best to prevent any such thing from happening to you.”

“..huh?” Akane’s face flushes red. This isn’t exactly the response he expected at all. Where’s the name calling? Has he finally beaten the crazy accusations? “What do you mean, president?”

“I mean I’m going to protect you.”

Something about this feels absolutely unreal to Akane. He was wishing for this just a month ago; his relationship with Teru seems to go up and down every other month. Sometimes they get along, sometimes they don’t. (In the end, will confessing even affect his life’s outcome?)

Just a day ago he was avoiding Teru because of his own thoughts. Now he wants nothing more than to spend his last month with Teru instead of being so selfish. He wants to spend it with all his friends, yet is so afraid of what might happen. Is it better to miss out on everything, though save your own life- or to participate and have fun, but lose everything early?

“Protect me?”

“Yes, I’ll protect you.”

Akane looks away.

“..thank you,”

He can’t even muster up a snobby response. There’s no playful denial of protection, no teasing or silly insults- he just accepts it as it is. Maybe he’s slowly progressing.

“Of course,” Teru whispers to him. There’s still something he isn’t saying, and Akane can tell easily. Teru is much easier to read than he thinks he is; though the same could be said about Akane. They can read each other and sense lies. “Now, let’s get you home, okay?”

“Okay,” Teru gets up and brings Akane along with him. Their hand holding is limited to one hand again. “I still have my work to do, though..”

“You haven’t written a single thing, Aoi~ I could see your work when I walked closer to you,” the exorcist hums, “I’ll do it for you later. Wouldn’t want you to overwork yourself, anyway~”

“I wasn’t overworking myself, and I can say the same thing about you, y’know..”

“Mmh..” he shrugs, “I suppose~ but today we’re focusing on you, alright? How about I hang out at your place until I have my duties to complete?”

“Huh? At my house?” Akane follows along when Teru begins to walk. He keeps their hands intertwined- the eyes that he’s grown so used to are already staring daggers at his back. As cliché as it sounds, he feels much safer holding onto Teru’s hand. He isn’t sure if Teru can sense the eyes or not, too; but Teru gives his hand a light squeeze once he notices his slight fear, so that’s good enough. “I mean, sure.. if you don’t mind going out the window if my parents get home,”

“I suppose it’d be nice to find out how you squiggle yourself out of there~”

“Don’t say that. It sounds weird,”

“Eh?”

“Squiggle. It sounds weird,” Akane smiles with a small giggle following, “No one even says that word,”

“Ahaha~” Teru chuckles in response, his fangs visible as he smiles in response. (He seems much more relieved now that I’m smiling, too. I can’t be fooled again, though- I’ve already messed up last month.) “I’m wounded that you don’t appreciate my squiggle use,”

“Don’t make using that word a habit..”

“And why not?”

“Because it’s dumb and it sounds weird, I just told you.” Akane huffs, “You’re dumb and weird, actually.”

Teru only chuckles even more. “Glad to see you’re feeling more like yourself~ that sounds a little more like the Aoi I know,”

“Oh, whatever..” Akane’s chest has those fuzzy feelings again. He wonders if Teru has them, too- though he mentally denies that fact. He doesn’t confess even though he has the opportunity. “..just get me home.”

“On it~”

“It’s time I should start heading out, would you like me to help you clean first?”

“No, it’s fine. I like cleaning, anyway,”

“Are you sure? It’d be rude of me as a guest if I left you here with a mess,”

“I’m sure,”

“Well, alright.”

Akane piles a bunch of Uno cards in his hands, making sure they’re all vertical and facing the same direction. What better way to spend time with your crush than to play Uno with him?

Though, unfortunately, the moon has begun to rise. Their little game of Uno is over.

“I like the flowers in your room, by the way. I forgot to mention,” Teru smiles. He stands while Akane sits on a carpet, still stuffing cards in a box. “Gardenias? Ah, you kept them in mind?”

“How couldn’t I?” Akane mumbles, “Anyway, uhm.. thanks for coming over, or something.”

“Hm?” Teru turns to face him, “Ahaha~ it’s no problem,” he smiles warmly. Maybe Akane doesn’t need to have his curtains open when the sun is right in front of him. “Just one more thing,”

“What is it?”

“Please keep in mind you can always talk to me,” his voice is soft. It’s genuine, Akane can tell easily. “Whether it’s about your fears, an annoyance, or even something as simple as your day.. I’m always here to listen to you. I don’t want to see any more tears from here on, got it?”

“Tch..” Akane stares down at the Uno box in his hands instead of making eye contact, otherwise Teru would have noticed the deep blush covering his face. “Okaaay..”

“Mmh..” Teru hums, “Is that the best you can give me?”

“Yeah,”

“Such a shame~” he whines, before brushing his hands off on his shirt. “Well, goodbye, Aoi~”

“..wait, wait- what are you doing?”

“Eh? I’m leaving. I can’t stay longer, apologies~”

“No, I mean..” Akane blinks, “Why are you going out the window?”

“Oh, right,” Teru smiles, “The front door, got it~” he waves before walking towards Akane’s bedroom door. “Stay safe and let me know if you need anything, and I mean anything,”

“Mhm, mhm.. I know,” Akane always smiles in return. He’s not sure what it is about Teru- those genuine smiles of his are contagious, especially when Akane can see his fangs. “Goodbye, president,”

“Goodbye, again, Aoi~”

And with that, Akane is left in the silence of his room. He’s left with his worries and paranoia all over again.

He lies awake later on. He dwells on the future and everything he’s done in the past.

The eyes are the same figure who attacked him in October; is that really all he can piece together? Aren’t there any more hints that he can think of? There has to be more to it.

Is he really supposed to avoid everything and everyone for an entire month? All because he doesn’t want to be killed?

That seems like the best thing to do, but he also doesn’t want to rise any sort of suspicion. Teru already seems to know more than he’s supposed to.

Akane sighs softly as he drapes his arm on the edge of his bed.

What can he say? Life and death aren’t exactly easy.

(He has 1 month left.)

Chapter Text

There are currently snowflakes falling onto the ground outside Akane’s window. The streets are peaceful and quiet, and the floors are covered in a soft blanket of snow. The trees have that same layer on top of their leaves, hiding the vibrant colors of nature underneath. The sun puts a nice sparkle onto the white, though. It’s a beautiful sight.

The temperatures have dropped significantly thanks to the snow. It’s a bit difficult to drive in such conditions considering the roads have also been affected; so no one is going to school, and no one is going to work, either. Everyone’s schedules are easy to customize as they’re free to do whatever they like for the time being.

Some people are away for the holidays, traveling to new places and meeting new people- while others are staying at home with their family, celebrating the holidays and keeping warm. It’s the perfect month to spend time with others.

It’s December 31st.

Akane stares at his calendar in disbelief.

It’s December 31st.

He blinks several times to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him, though obviously nothing on his calendar seems to change. How has the time passed by so quickly? How is it December already? How is it the end of the year?

The end of the year just so happens to mean the end of his life, too. He is not ready for that.

Of course, he’s not, how could anybody in their right mind be prepared for death of all things? Akane’s heart has been racing since the moment he woke up. He hasn’t been able to calm it down since.

Thankfully he hasn’t needed to go out and communicate like a normal social human being in a while. He’s on his winter break from school, so he’s felt safe in the comfort of his home- at least when his parents aren’t there with him. Other than that small inconvenience, he’s felt decent. He hasn’t felt sick or physically unwell, nor has he suffered from any major injuries; so his conclusion about him being murdered must be right.

Well, it’s most likely that it’s right. He can still get into an accident that day, or perhaps eat the wrong meal and get sick at the last moment; but from his book alone, everything leads up to him being killed by someone. The culprit presumably shows their face at school.

He stares at himself in his mirror in silence.

He makes a mental note not to go to Kamome Gakuen for any reason. If he doesn’t get there, then that crosses off the list of anyone being able to follow him. (Does he really think that will change his fate? God, he’s so unbearably stupid.)

Other than that, what other rules does he have to follow? He’s already going to check off being extra careful with everything, but it’s going to be kind of hard to avoid talking to people when he’s going to a New Years party.

Oh, right. He’s going to a New Years party. That’s why he’s staring at himself in the mirror, he’s supposed to be getting ready for it.

A party is being thrown for all the students in the high school division. It’s not anything too special other than the fact that for some reason almost everyone is going to attend it.

Akane, wanting to blend in with everyone else, decides to attend it, as well.

Well, that’s partially the reason.

He also wants to say goodbye to everyone as easily as possible.

He hasn’t talked to many of his friends in a while since his break started. While he’s content that he hasn’t had the time to absolutely destroy his relationships with simple mistakes and lies, he also feels a bit bad leaving without a word. It wouldn’t be fair. That is, if he dies, of course. He still doesn’t want to believe it. It’s definitely not going to happen. It’s just for extra measures in case it does happen. But it won’t. It won’t happen. Nothing will. So he’s going to be okay. He just needs to check in with everyone, that’s all. There’s nothing more to it.

He reaches over for a comb with his shaky hands, (if nothing will happen, why is he shaking so much?) slowly styling his hair so he doesn’t mess it up too badly. He looks just fine for the most part- not much different from how he usually is. He just looks a bit more tired. It’s self-explanatory, the stress and worry have clearly gotten to him.

When he’s done fixing his hair, he walks over to the plants in his room.

Ever since Teru entered his room, Akane’s gardenias began to wilt faster than the rest of his flowers. He’s not sure if it’s some odd coincidence, or perhaps he’s been too worried about himself to properly take care of his flowers- whatever it is, it’s a shame. They aren’t as pretty as they were before. They were already wilting beforehand, though. It still makes him a little sad.

He picks up the gardenia Teru gave him in March and puts it in his coat pocket.

Why is he even doing that?

It’s on the brink of death itself. What’s the point of clinging onto something that’s going to die, anyway?

Well, the gardenia has somewhat of a sentimental value to him. It’s been with him since almost the beginning of the year, and he’s managed to take decent care of it for a good while. If he’s really going to die, he wants the small flower to be with him. An odd wish to say the least, but it’s a wish nonetheless.

He lets out a small sigh as he fixes the buttons on his coat as his finishing touches. He adjusts the ends of his sleeves before walking toward his bedroom door.

He stares at his bedroom one last time. Not much has changed over the year other than some plants and a few extra messes. Though Akane’s been able to clean his room over his school break, so everything looks much neater than it did at the beginning of the year. It looks a lot more comfortable compared to the rest of his house. This will probably be the last time he sees his room. The last time he sees the inside of his safe space.

He’s relieved that he’s left it tidy, at least.

When he goes downstairs, he’s greeted by no one other than his mother. Though he isn’t exactly greeted- instead he just hears her snoring her life away. She sleeps peacefully on the living room’s couch, knocked out and with a heavy stench surrounding her. It’s most likely she won’t be able to wake up until later.

She won’t get to say goodbye to him. When Akane dies, she’ll be sleeping without a care for the world. She won’t know when or how it happened. She won’t even know why.

That’s okay. Akane tells himself he doesn’t care. If she doesn’t care, he won’t either. It’ll be mutual.

It’s an obvious lie, though- his heart stings a little. His own mother doesn’t care enough to talk to him nor would she care enough if he were to die at this moment. She’s always been this way, and Akane’s just grown used to it. This would be no different if he were any younger or older.

He walks towards her unconscious body and kisses her forehead. The closer he gets, the stronger that horrid stench of hers gets. “Goodbye, mom,” he whispers to her, “Sleep well. Tell dad I said goodbye, too,” this time, it isn’t goodnight. It’s only goodbye.

He stares a little longer than he needs to. It’s like he’s waiting for her to wake up.

She won’t even bother, he knows this fact very well. He’s not going to spend his last few hours alive waiting for someone who doesn’t even care. He’s not going to wait for her to change, because it’ll never happen. She could never put the effort into something like that. If she’s capable of changing, she just doesn’t want to.

And so, Akane will die before she even glances at him.

He sighs before leaving out the front door.

He tells himself it’s better this way. He wants to be happy before the new year starts, so he leaves her behind.

Akane has to walk to the party. He makes sure he’s careful with every little step he takes while out on his own.

On his way there, he passes by a cat. It stares at him intently, watching his every move. It doesn’t get closer than necessary and doesn’t make any noise.

He assumes it’s the cat from a few months prior; though when he reaches to pet it, it only scurries away. He feels a little sad about it. (Anyone would in this situation. Not only is that embarrassing, but it’s also a miserable experience.)

He continues on with his journey to the party anyway. He wonders if he’ll ever see that cat again if he lives.

The party is being thrown in a third-year’s house- he can’t remember the girl’s name, but she’s beautiful and popular according to his classmates. He was hesitant to attend for a moment or two given Aoi isn’t fond of her, but he remembered they aren’t on speaking terms- so it’s not like it matters all that much. The odds of her showing up aren’t very likely, anyway. Aoi doesn’t like showing up to these types of things.

Akane stuffs his hands in his coat pockets as he waits for the door to the house to be opened. Thankfully, he’s gotten there quickly and successfully- he hasn’t been murdered or ran over violently just yet. He’s still in one piece.

A random girl opens the door and welcomes him inside. Akane only thanks her and walks by as quickly as possible. She is definitely not the hostess, but he’s not very surprised; there are so many people here so anyone will open the door as long as they hear the knocking. Actually, it was probably unlocked now that Akane thinks about it. He had no reason to knock.

What if that random girl thinks less of him now because he was a bit stupid? What if she looks down upon him for making a mistake? What if she wants revenge on him and-

“Hey, Aoi! Over here!”

He swallows thickly before walking over towards the voice. He needs to spend his last hours wisely, not worrying about some stranger wanting to kill him for something so small. He needs to say goodbye to everyone before he even thinks about that.

“Hey, Yamabuki,” he mumbles once he reaches the drinks table, “Long time no see, huh?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while. You’ve been stuck in your house for like, as long as I can remember.. but damn, uhh.. what’s up with you?”

“It’s only been a few weeks or something, don’t be overdramatic. I’ve had things to do at home,” he huffs, trying to seem how he normally does- though Lemon can see through him easily. Plus, he’s lying on the spot. He’s been a bit distant from everyone for a while, other than small conversations here and there. “What do you mean what’s up with me?”

“You look.. pale. You’re always pale, yeah, I know, but like.. paler than usual. You look like you just saw a ghost, man,” Lemon tells him. He sounds genuinely concerned. “Are you okay?”

“No, I don’t. I look the same as I always do.” Akane blurts out, crossing his arms with a small scoff. When he looked at himself in the mirror while at home, he didn’t notice he had gotten any paler. Maybe he’s just gotten more nervous now that he’s out of the house? Is he really that obvious? “I’m fine, yeah. Hey, what flavor is that?” he points at a gallon of some sort of sugary soda he knows he probably won’t like. He just wants to change the topic.

“Yes, you do. Come on, we’ve been friends since middle school. I can tell something isn’t right,” Lemon shakes his head, reaching over for a classic red party cup. “Are you sure you’re fine?” He then reaches over for the container, pouring the contents into the cup and handing it over to Akane afterward. “Because I know you’d never ask about soda. You’re ahead of everyone here, you should know what flavor it is by the color alone.”

Akane stares down at the liquid in the cup, watching as the fizz slowly dies down. “I’m sure, I’m just a little tired.” he hesitantly takes a sip from it. It’s gross. He hates soda. “My tastes can change, you know,”

“Aoi, you look like you just drank the nastiest thing ever.”

“..yeah, okay. Maybe I still don’t like soda,” he mumbles as he places the cup down on the drinks table and slowly slides it away from him. “Anyway, my point is that I’m just fine.”

“Right,” Lemon sighs, “Look, is there something you’re not telling me? You’ve been this way for months, man,”

“No, of course not.”

“Really? It doesn’t seem that way. I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, ‘cuz you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but it’s kinda.. meh, y’know? If you don’t feel comfortable..” he pauses, “..hey, like, if you want to stop being friends.. that’s fine with me.”

“What?” Akane blinks, taken aback by Lemon’s words. This is a whole other mess on its own. “No, no, no..” he swishes his hands around frantically, “I don’t want to stop being friends, I already told you this. I would never want that,”

“So why don’t you want to talk anymore?” Lemon mutters, “I swear, it’s like you’ve been avoiding me. I don’t know if it’s me specifically, but it just..”

“Yamabuki, I still want to talk, of course I do-”

“Then why don’t you?”

“I just.. I haven't had the time, things have been a little complicated-”

“Staying locked up in your house won’t do anything, you’re just making your problems worse.”

“..huh?”

“You obviously haven’t been feeling well,” he sighs, “I’ve been worried, man. You know I’m not that good at showing it, but you’ve been acting off for so long and I just never knew how to bring it up. At first, I thought it was my fault, ‘cuz of what I did- but then I realized it’s a lot more than that. I just don’t want to wait until it’s too late to do anything,”

“Yamabuki..” Akane swallows thickly, “Hey..”

“Are you planning anything, Aoi?”

“No, no.. I’m not, I..”

“I mean, I’d.. hope not,” he shakes his head, “I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

Akane’s heart sinks in guilt.

Lemon has good points. Even if Akane’s been doing his best to act normal, Lemon knows what he’s really like. A persona and some fake reassurance won’t exactly work right away. Lemon has a feeling Akane won’t be living on, but he doesn’t have the right idea- and so Akane just feels worse. He doesn’t want Lemon to think he’ll do anything himself, because he genuinely wasn’t thinking about that sort of thing at all.

He doesn’t want to die and let Lemon feel regret. He doesn’t want to let him mourn. Akane is much more selfless than he thinks- he’s still a selfish bastard, but he’s better than the monster he sees himself as.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Akane takes a deep breath, “Hey, after our winter break.. let’s go to a skating rink together, yeah?”

“Huh?”

“I’m saying we should make plans to hang out again, you know? That way, when the new year starts, we can hang out more,” he smiles softly, “We can just let loose a little, or something.. since you’ve always wanted me to take a break,”

“Heh,” Lemon smiles back, “That’d be fun considering you’ve probably never set foot near ice skates.. you’d definitely flop over two minutes in.”

“And you’d definitely record me doing that,” Akane rolls his eyes playfully, “You wouldn’t even send it to anyone, you’d just have it saved and bring it up whenever I disagree with you,”

“Well, duh, because it’s like, funner that way. I force you to agree with me against your will,”

“Of course you’d say that,”

Lemon snickers in return. “Yeah, of course I would.” he then sighs shortly after. “So.. you’re gonna be okay, right?”

“Mhm,” Akane tells him, trying to make his voice sound as soothing as possible. He’s doing his best to seal the deal. “Thanks for looking out for me, though.”

“It’s nothing,” Lemon reaches over for his own cup of soda, taking a few sips before putting it back down. “That’s what friends are for. Just tell me whenever you feel down, or tell any of your friends in general. We all care about you,”

“I will, don’t worry-”

“Hey, Aoi-kun!” a voice comes from another side of the room, “Hey, over here!”

“Looks like someone else wants to talk to you,” Lemon smiles, “Go and talk to him, I’ll be here for whenever you need me. I’ve heard a certain someone is at this party in case you wanna shoot your sh-”

“Okay, okay.. I get it, you know about my crush.” Akane scoffs, “Are you sure you don’t mind me leaving? I don’t want you to be on your own or whatever, especially right after we made plans.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. You’ve got other friends, and I do too. Just keep in mind I’ve gotta be your favorite.” the former snickers, “Now, go have fun, man- happy New Year’s Eve,”

“Alright,” Akane nods, “You too, happy New Year's Eve. See you later,”

“See you later,”

(Will Akane even get to see him later? He has his doubts.)

Akane makes his way toward the person who called him. It’s towards two glass sliding doors that lead into the backyard; he has to push his way through the crowds of ignorant teenagers to get there. He glances around to try and find who wants to talk to him.

“I’m right here,” Suzuto smiles as he taps his shoulder.

“Hi, Fuji-kun. I see that now, thanks for clarifying.” Akane huffs with a dumb smile, “So, you called me over? What do you need this time?”

“I just wanted to say hi. Is it so wrong to want to say hi to my friend?”

“Yeah, if it’s coming from you,”

“You’re rude today,” Suzuto disregards his words and continues on, “Well, as I was going to say.. I need to ask you a few questions, do you mind that?”

“Knew it. I do mind,”

“Okay, well I’m going to ask them, anyway,” he hums, “So, you and Yamabuki-kun? Where’d that come from? Are you going back to your ex after all this time? You two dated over a year ago.. did Minamoto-senpai reject you? Is that why you’re doing that? What happened between you and-”

“Okay, first of all, shut up,” Akane interrupts with a flustered expression. There’s too many questions at once- he can’t exactly answer them all. It’s not like he really wants to, anyway. “Second of all, Yamabuki is my best friend, we dated once because..” his voice trails off, “We were testing things at the time. Third of all, Minamoto-kaichou still doesn’t know-”

“Still?” Suzuto crosses his arms, “Well, I can’t say I’m too surprised. Just an average Aoi-kun move, hm?”

“You get so cocky when your annoying friends aren’t staring you down,” Akane mutters, “What’s the point of all these questions? Can we have one conversation without prying yourself into my love life?”

“We can’t,” Suzuto’s smile softens, “I’ll just get straight to the point. We haven’t talked in a while, so I guess you could say I was a teensy bit curious? I missed our conversations.”

“A teensy bit?” the apparition snickers, “Yeah, right. You just asked me like fifty things in under one minute. You’re always running your mouth,” he then softens. “So, you’ve..”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been avoiding everyone too, you know.” Suzuto can see through him easily, too. Well, he expected to receive this conversation someday- just not on his death date. “We’re your friends, Aoi-kun. We’re not blind,”

“Straight forward today, huh?”

“Figured I might as well be. Not too much teasing from me today, I’ve already had to deal with my friends, aha. You know how they are,” he shrugs, “So, what’s the problem? Are you moving away?”

“Huh?” Akane’s face scrunches up in confusion. First Lemon assumed something, now Suzuto is doing that, too- but they both assume the wrong things. Akane doesn’t know where these assumptions are even coming from. “What makes you think that?”

“Hm, well it’s more about the fact that you’re distancing yourself from everyone. It’s like you want to disappear without a trace. I know how you are, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened to be the case.” Suzuto tells him, “You and I both know how your parents are. Doesn’t matter if you personally want to stay or move, you’ll have do it anyway,”

(Some of that sounds all too familiar to Akane.)

“Fuji-kun..” Akane mutters, “There are other people around, you don’t have to say that stuff.”

“Oh, right,” the brunette apologizes briefly before continuing, “So is it true?” he puts a hand on his own cheek, “Are you leaving us all forever, Aoi-kun?”

“Don’t put it that way,” the former narrows his eyes at him. “Especially if you think all I’m doing is moving,”

“Hm? Wait.. So then..”

“And I’m not planning anything either before you say anything. Yamabuki said the same thing and it was.. a mess,” Akane completely shuts him down, making a new excuse. “I’ve been distant because I’m tired. Talking to people has been exhausting me,”

“Oh, I see.” Suzuto nods as if he understands. (In reality, he doesn’t. He never will. It’ll be too late.) “That fake persona of yours is finally catching up to you. The exhaustion has to settle in at some point, being genuinely nice isn’t something you’re used to.”

“Hypocrite,” Akane rolls his eyes, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it anyway.”

“You need some time for yourself,”

“What?”

“You shouldn’t be hanging out around people if it makes you feel like you need to be someone else,” Suzuto lifts a finger up, pointing at Akane afterwards. “So take some time off and be alone for a bit. I’m sure the new year will be perfect for that, you can start in a few hours.”

“I guess?” Akane shrugs, “I mean.. I’d just be avoiding everyone even more, though. Wouldn’t that make things worse?”

“Well, I suppose you would be, but it’d be for your own health, and that’s just fine. I don’t think it’d make things worse, I think that’s exactly what you need.”

“You seem really confident about this,”

“I am. I wouldn’t give you bad advice, we’re as similar as we are different.” Suzuto retracts his arm, “I’m sure someone else would like to give you advice, too.” he then points in the direction of someone past the glass doors. “You should go talk to her,”

“..Aoi-chan?” Akane has reverted to just referring to her with her real name instead of a nickname. “Why should I talk to her, though? You know we aren’t really.. talking anymore,”

“Mhm, we still talk sometimes, but I think it’s best if you have a conversation with her. It’s long past due, she needs to tell you something, anyway.”

He raises an eyebrow at that response, “You’re being vague,”

“You won’t know if I’m being honest or not unless you go out there,”

He blinks. Suzuto is right. If he’s really being honest, this will be Akane’s last chance to ever talk to Aoi. He can’t help but sigh as he gives in and puts his hand on the door handle.

“I’ll kick your ass in the new year if this is just some trick, Fuji-kun,”

“Whatever you say. Have a nice New Year's Eve, Aoi-kun.”

“Yeah,” Akane sighs, “Yeah, you too.”

“Akane-kun,”

Suzuto was right. Aoi did want to talk to Akane- which he can’t help but be surprised by. She starts the conversation once he gets close enough.

“Hello, Aoi-chan,” he greets her calmly, clearing his throat with a small smile. He’s been smiling at his friends a lot today. If he’s correct, she thinks he’s going to leave in some way, too- so he needs to start with the reassurance early. “Fuji-kun said you wanted to talk to me?”

“Did he?” Aoi smiles as she tilts her head, “That’s strange~ I don’t remember telling him that,”

Oh, well that’s embarrassing. Maybe she doesn't want to talk. Now that Akane wouldn’t be surprised by, she’s made it clear she wants to avoid Akane for the most part- or maybe completely cut contact between them.

“I see,” Akane mumbles awkwardly. He isn’t really sure how to talk to her after all this time. It’s strange not having to fake his love for her even though it’s been months. “Sorry, then. I’ll be on my way back,” he excuses himself.

“..wait,”

He stops walking and turns back to face her, “Yeah? What is it?”

“Akane-kun, are you feeling okay?”

“Ah..” he blinks. So he was right. He’s not really sure that’s a good thing, though. Does everyone think that way? Is everyone convinced he’s going to disappear? “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

“We haven’t talked in a while, but you’ve been a little off~” Aoi tells him. She’s the same as she’s always been- fake and pretty. She wears a blue dress with a thin white sweater on top, accompanied by her flowing hair. It seems she’s let it down today. “How should I put it? I guess you’ve been a bit quiet,”

“Quiet?” Akane tilts his head to the side, “How so?”

“I’ve noticed you haven’t been around your friends lately. Kind of funny for me to say~” Aoi pauses, “And Fuji-kun’s been telling me he’s worried. You aren’t leaving, are you, Akane-kun?”

“He mentioned that, too?”

“Mhm~”

“Everyone seems to think that,” Akane mumbles, “I’m not leaving, no,”

“That’s good to hear. I just wanted to confirm~” the former doesn’t really seem like she knows what to say. She looks awkward, if anything. Akane can’t really blame her; he feels the same. He can’t deny the fact that it’s odd to talk to her after all this time, no matter how much he wanted to before. “How have things been?”

“Okay,” the supernatural shrugs, “The same as always. What about you?”

“I could say the same~”

Yeah. This is awkward.

“So, uhm..” Akane isn’t sure whether he should leave or continue trying to talk to her. Wouldn’t it be wrong to amend his friendship with Aoi right before he dies? (How stupid of him to think that. He just lied to both Lemon and Suzuto, what makes this any different? That’s right, it doesn’t!) “Do you have any new year resolutions, Aoi-chan?”

“Hm?” Aoi thinks for a moment, “Resolutions? I don’t know~” she doesn’t make much eye contact. It’s one of her methods of hiding her true self, Akane knows this situation all too well. “Well, I did want something~”

“Which is?”

“Akane-kun,” she’s choosing her words very carefully during this conversation, though. That’s something she doesn’t usually do; she’s on top of her act and persona. She always knows just what to say as long as it’s a complete lie. “Would it be bad if I said I wanted to be friends again?”

“Huh?” Akane is a little taken by surprise. If they were ever going to be friends again, he assumed he’d be the one trying to fix everything. “I don’t think it’d be bad, why do you ask?”

“I don’t think it was right,” Aoi holds her hands behind her back, “What I did, I mean,” oh, so Akane’s seeing the true side of her. This is a slight turn of events. “..it was kind of hypocritical~”

“Ah,” the clock keeper nods, “Yeah, but I don’t blame you.”

“You don’t?”

“Nope,”

“Ehe~” the girl in front of him sighs in slight envy. Perhaps it’s more than that. He can never really tell with Aoi. “You were always much more selfless and honest than I was, Akane-kun~”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Akane mutters, “I’m not much better,”

“But I know you can be,”

“You can be, too.” he admits, “We’re both capable of changing,”

“I don’t want to.” Aoi smiles, “I like the way things are now~”

“You sound like me when you say that, you know?”

“I know~” she’s right. She doesn’t want to change, and Akane knows she’s probably not lying about that. “A part of me wants to try, but at the same time..”

“Contradicting feelings?”

“Mhm~”

“Yeah,” Akane shrugs, “Yeah, I get that. I think my new year resolution should be about being myself,”

“Hm?”

“You can have the same one, if you want,” he doesn’t even know what he’s saying at this point. Some things are just slipping out and he’s just letting them. “That way we’re both being more honest, and at the same time being true to ourselves,”

“That..” Aoi stares, “Sounds a bit dumb.”

“You could say that,” Akane hums, “I think the same thing. What’s being more honest going to do for me? Why am I openly going to be a jerk?” he pauses, “And then I realize that’s just how I am. Pretending I’m someone else isn’t going to do much, is it?”

“I guess not,”

“Yeah,” he glances away, “Just a suggestion, I don’t know,”

“Akane-kun,”

“Yes, Aoi-chan?”

“If I did the resolution with you,” she says quietly, “would you be there the entire time? If I were more honest, do you think we could be friends again?”

“I’d be there,” Akane nods, “and I’d be honest with you, too. I want to make up for the way I treated you for the past few years, I shouldn’t have treated you the same way everyone else did- especially if I knew you didn’t like that,” he glances down, “I think we could be friends again, yeah. Do you? I should be asking you the same thing, considering.. I was a huge liar,”

“Yeah, you were,” Aoi mumbles. Well, she’s not wrong. Akane needs to hear the truth from her, anyway. If she honestly thought he was a complete and utter liar to her for over ten years, he wouldn’t be mad. (Actually, he would be- but only if she didn’t think the same of herself. He knows what she thinks, though, and she knows she’s a liar just like him.) “I think we could be friends again, too,”

“Let’s make one more new year resolution, then,”

“What is it?”

“Let’s be honest to each other from now on,” Akane smiles, “Whether it’s about our problems or other people, let’s just be ourselves. Then it can be like we’re really best friends,”

“..ehe~” Aoi sighs, “I was right. You’re better than you think you are, Akane-kun. Thank you.”

“You’re better than you think you are, too. Everyone’s a little selfish, you know?” Akane’s response gains a giggle from her. “Thank you, too,”

“I’ll give you some advice on gardening if you need any,” Aoi lifts her finger and points it in another direction. (Either she got that from Suzuto, or Suzuto got that from her- either way, Akane’s happy they’re friends. They’ll have each other once he’s gone, at least.) “But for now, I think someone else wants to talk to you. Minamoto-senpai has been here waiting the entire time~ you wouldn’t want to leave your date hanging,”

“He’s not my date..” Akane scoffs, “But thank you for letting me know, Aoi-chan. Have a nice rest of your night,”

“Of course,” Aoi gives him a genuine smile. It’s the first genuine smile Akane’s seen from her in a long time. “See you in the new year, Akane-kun.”

“..see you in the new year, Aoi-chan.”

“Aooooi~ you’re here, isn’t that a surprise? I’m so excited to see youuu!~”

“Hello, president..” Akane huffs with a light blush on his cheeks. Teru notices him almost right away- though he isn’t exactly surprised, not everyone else has his pale complexion and strange eyes. Not to mention the same orange-ish red brown hair. He isn’t sure what color it is himself, actually. (He should be a little sad he’s never going to find out.) “I’m not surprised you’re here,”

“Eh?? It isn’t a surprise? You don’t sound as happy to see me!”

“I am happy to see you, I just knew you were going to be here already.” he rolls his eyes, “I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I’ve had to talk with three people already,”

“Awh, who were they? Did they give you a rough time?” Teru reaches over for his hand, intertwining their fingers as he brings Akane along. Akane doesn’t know where they’re going, but he lets it happen anyway. “There isn’t anyone bothering you here, is there?”

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Akane gives his hand a light squeeze, “Yamabuki, Fuji-kun, and Aoi-chan are here, too. I had important conversations with all of them so I guess it kind of drained me,”

“So your friends?” Teru clicks his tongue, “Well, I’m here now.. so nothing is going to happen, just like I told you. I’ll be looking out for you,”

“You can’t say that in public, president,” Akane mumbles, “Or else something will happen to me. One of your fans will absolutely destroy me for that,”

“I’ll protect you from that, too,”

“Whatever you say..” eventually, they reach their destination- a bunch of candy lies on a table in front of them. “May I ask why we’re here, of all places in the party?”

“Look at all the sweets, Aoi~” Teru says with a bright smile, though he hides it with his hand. There are too many people around, Akane assumes he doesn’t want them to see his fangs. “You can take some for Mirai, and I’ll take some for Tiara~ oh, and since you have a sweet tooth, I can feed you some, too!”

“Where did all this come from?” Akane glances away, “I don’t need you to feed me or anything, I can feed myself.. and we should eat something first before even looking at this table. You’re so excited today, you have a shit ton of energy.”

“Watch your languaaage~” the exorcist hums, “It’s one of my days off today. Dad won’t be home, so I decided to come here~ I don’t attend parties very often, I feel like a normal teenager just having fun with everyone else. Kou is here, too, but he’s with Yokoo-kun and Satou-kun. Yashiro-san, too,”

“Oh, that explains it,” Teru’s smile is contagious even if he hides it. Akane can’t help but smile with him. It feels a lot more genuine compared to the ones he gave his other friends- but that’s because Teru doesn't think he’s going to disappear. Teru thinks something else, something Akane doesn’t know just yet. (He’ll find out.) “I don’t really go to parties either, if it makes you feel any better. I only came because..” his voice trails off, “I wanted to spend New Years with other people instead of on my own this year,”

“Ah, I see..” Teru hums, “Well, from now on, you can spend every new year with me, Aoi~”

“Huh?” Akane pauses, “..yeah, I’d..” he gives Teru’s hand a light squeeze. What is he to say in this situation? He’s not going to be around for another new year, is he? He’s going to die today; not tomorrow, today- he won’t reach the new year at all. Well, at least they’re together the day before. “Yeah, I’d like that..”

“Ahaha~ good to hear,” Teru begins to drag Akane again, “Now, let’s find some food so we can eat some sweets! Let’s have as much fun as we can before the countdown today~”

Before the countdown stands for two things in Akane’s situation.

Though he agrees to Teru’s wishes with some enthusiasm. Teru has a point, after all- he might as well have fun before that certain countdown begins. One of them has already started, the other he’ll hopefully start with Teru.

If he lives that long, of course.

He does.

Fast forward a few hours later; he’s leaning on Teru’s side as he watches people laugh and have fun. He has a cup of fruit punch in his hand and occasionally shifts it around to watch its contents swish and slide inside. It’s a calming way to spend his last few hours alive, he decides he doesn’t want to do anything life-risking. He’d much rather just stay snuggled up with Teru.

“Just an hour left,” Teru is leaning against him, as well. Akane has noticed a few stares in their direction because of how close they are, but he doesn’t let any of them faze him too much. “What do you think they’re doing over there?” the exorcist points in the direction of a crowd of people.

“I dunno,” Akane mumbles, glancing over. “What do you think they’re doing?”

“Well, I don’t know, either~ that’s why I asked you. You’re good at making assumptions,”

“Well, I can see they’re changing the lights.. they aren’t just basic colors anymore,” he takes a sip from his cup. He observes the scenery in front of him carefully. “Playing different music, too.. wait, is that..”

“Ohhh!~” Teru beams, “It’s dancing music, isn’t it, Aoi? I recognize it,”

“I think so, I mean.. I don’t know any more than you do- hey, where are we going?”

“To go participate in the dance, of course! Let’s go~” he begins to bring Akane along to the small crowd. They’re on a makeshift dance floor by the looks of it, everyone is looking for a partner or finding a spot to dance for themselves. So far it seems to be in the shape of a circle.

“Do we have to?”

“Awh, come on, Aooooi.. it’ll be fun!”

“..do you even know how to dance?”

“Of course I do!”

“Okay, well, I don’t.'' Despite his protests, Akane always lets Teru drag him along- it’s a small cycle in their relationship. (Akane doesn’t mind it, though. He always ends up doing something that makes him happy.) “So, maybe..”

“I’ll teach you every step of the way, don’t you worry your pretty little head about it~”

“When you word it like that, I think the reasonable answer is to worry more, actually..”

“Well, you’re not letting go of my hand, are you?”

“I’m not..”

“Great!” Once Teru has settled for a good spot in the circle, he reaches over for Akane’s other hand and intertwines them together. “Now we just wait for the music to start, correct?”

“Yeah,” Akane glances around, “President, people are.. staring at us,” his grip on Teru’s hands begins to weaken. What if one of those angry fans wants to do something to him? What if they grow so jealous, he’s never to see Teru ever again? “Are you sure you..”

“I don’t want to do this with anyone else, if that’s what you’re going to ask me.” Teru hums, “I want to dance with you, Aoi. Just you and no one else~ keep in mind I’m going to protect you if anything happens,”

“Right,” Akane nods, “Sorry, I just..”

“I understand,” he’s cut off before he can finish. “But you don’t have to deal with any of this alone when I’m right here, I’ll make sure nothing bad will ever happen to you- no matter the consequences.”

Akane’s chest begins to swirl.

“Alright,”

And with that, the dancing begins.

“Wait, how do I start?” Akane looks at everyone around them. They’ve already begun, leaving him and Teru behind. “Hurry, or-”

“No need to be in a rush~ you’re learning, remember?” the exorcist smiles, “I don’t mind if they’re ahead of us, it makes no difference to me. Now, let me show you..” Teru slides one of his arms under Akane’s shoulder. He begins messing with their position until he deems it correct.

“It may not make a difference to you, but it does to me.. what exactly are you showing me?”

“I want you to mimic my movements,” he chirps as he begins to move along to the music, “This is more of a slow dance, so we need to be in sync with each other.”

“How do you know this stuff when I don’t?” Akane scoffs, though he does his best to follow Teru’s instructions- slowly but surely, of course. He doesn’t quite meet Teru’s pace despite the simple steps. “A slow dance..”

“My mom taught me when I was younger~” Teru doesn’t seem to make a single flaw. He’s good at this and there’s no denying it. “She told me I might need to know when I’m older. She said that I should save it for the right person~” he chuckles, “And I did,”

“That’s..” Akane’s cheeks begin to flush. He looks up from the floor to make eye contact. “..don’t say that, president.”

“But it’s the truth~”

“You’re just.. hmph..”

“I’m being completely honest with you, Aoi~” Teru smiles brightly, “No matter how huffy you are to me, I’ve always wanted to slow dance with you. You’re already getting the hang of it, so this is great~ you’re doing amazing,”

“You think so?” The slightest amount of praise sends Akane’s heart to the moon. It sounds cliché, and it is, it is actually horribly cliché- but that’s what it feels like. “We’re still slower than everyone else, though..”

“I don’t mind,” the former shrugs, “As long as I get to dance with you, they can go as fast as they’d like. Now, let’s try something a little more difficult, shall we?”

“Like what?”

“A simple turn~ or rather a spin, actually.”

“Who’s doing the spinning?”

“You are, and I’ll be the one spinning you. Don’t get dizzy~ try to keep up as always,”

“I am, I wouldn’t just-”

When Teru spins Akane around, he’s caught off guard. Though there’s some sort of bliss he feels from it- some sort of freedom he gains. None of this is planned, unlike everything else he’s done; it’s a new feeling. Teru always gives him new feelings.

“There we go~ stunning job as always, Aoi,”

“You did all the work for that one..” Akane mutters, falling back into the same motions from before once they’re done with spinning. “Now you’re just complimenting me for no reason,”

“Am I? I didn’t notice~ I suppose I just like complimenting you,”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to do here..” he doesn’t have to glance back down at the ground anymore. By now, he’s gotten used to their rhythmic steps. The two are completely in sync with one another. “I mean, you’re way better at dancing than I am..”

“Perhaps I am, perhaps I’m not.. Either way, dancing with you is a pleasure.”

“Why do you even want to dance with me so badly?”

“Hm?”

“There’s a lot of other people in our school you could be dancing with, yet.. you chose me?”

“Ah,” Teru blinks, adjusting their position as the music begins to change again. Akane goes along with whatever he does; after all, he has little to no clue what he’s really doing. He wraps his arms behind Teru’s neck while Teru’s arms slither down and onto his waist. Their faces are much closer than before- Akane can’t help but fluster up. “You’re the prettiest in our school, I don’t see why I’d even think about choosing anyone else. I mean, look at those cute little freckles of yours~ I love seeing them up close,”

“Prettiest?” Akane almost stutters, though he does his best to keep himself in one piece. Teru is being awfully kind and he can’t tell whether he should feel flattered or worried. Is he being genuine? He’s too taken aback to try and figure it out. “My freckles aren’t..”

“Don’t you dare put yourself down for them,” Teru interrupts him, “They’re adorable, they match your face just right. And your eyes, as well.. quite the fascinating colors~”

“Fascinating? Are you trying to bribe me into doing something for you?”

“Nonsense~ I just want to let you know how I really feel about you,”

“..okay, well,” Akane mumbles, “I like your eyes, too. They’re.. easy to get lost in, or something like that.”

“Something like that?” Teru chuckles, seemingly happy with Akane’s response. His chuckling never fails to earn a smile out of Akane. “Well, I’ll take it~”

As the minutes go on, Akane's heartbeat begins to increase.

Teru just keeps on complimenting him. He doesn’t understand what’s happening at all.

“Hey, Aoi?”

“Yeah?”

“If you were to start something as soon as the new year started,” Teru tells him, “What would it be?”

“If I were to start something?” Akane thinks for a moment, “What do you mean?”

“Perhaps a goal, or maybe a new hobby..” Teru seems to get closer to his face as they dance along. Akane can’t tell if it’s intentional or not. His ability to read Teru has been blurred by the amount of blush on his cheeks. “Maybe start new things with people~”

“Hmm..” Akane giggles, though his Teru reading has gotten worse, he can still read him to a certain extent and is able to understand his words. It’s not like Teru seems to be in a better position, Akane can see a light blush on his cheeks, too. It gives him hope. “Maybe..”

“Maybe? Just a maybe?”

“Mhm, just a maybe.”

“Awwh.. that’s cruel, Aoi~” Teru whines, “And I was so curious to know, too..”

“You’ll find out once the new year starts, just be patient.” Akane pauses, “Hey, a little off topic.. but that scarf you’re wearing-”

“Hm? This one?” The exorcist is eager to answer anything Akane says. It makes his heart flutter; knowing Teru is so happy to talk to him makes him just as happy. Isn’t he forgetting something, though? Something very important? “Ah, you recognize it, right? It’s the one you gave to me in January,”

“That explains it,” Akane nods, “I didn’t know you kept it after all this time,”

“Hm? What else would I do with it? I plan to wear it all winter, just like you told me~”

“..pfft,” he giggles, “I would’ve gotten you a brand new one if I knew you planned to wear it all the time. I told you to take care of yourself during the cold weather,” he slithers one of his arms back down to cup Teru’s cheek, “And I’m proud that you remember that,”

“Eh?” Teru’s cheek heats up significantly against his hand. (Is he.. flustered because of what I said? Akane thinks to himself, He was blushing already, but now he’s getting redder..) “Oh, well.. I remember everything you tell me, ahaha~”

Akane giggles along with him. “Really?”

“Of course~” Teru puts his hand on top of Akane’s, “You’re awfully cute when you laugh, Aoi. Have I ever told you that?”

“Huh?” Akane is far more flustered than Teru is; his deep red blush hides the freckles on his face. Thankfully, the butterflies he feels in his stomach are enough to distract him from the increasing blush. “No, I don’t think you have..”

“Well, now you know.”

“I think.. you’re cute when you smile,” he still keeps up with Teru’s movements, slowly rubbing his thumb against Teru’s cheek as they continue to dance. “You hide them a lot, but I really like your fangs.”

“My fangs?” Teru smiles warmly, showing his fangs while doing so. “How sweet of you~ I don’t even notice I’m not hiding them around you. I suppose I’ve just gotten too comfortable, hm?”

“I don’t mind that,” Akane loves when Teru genuinely smiles. He loves the way Teru’s eyes slightly crinkle up, the way his fangs peek ever so slightly through his mouth- the way his face softens for him in general. It reminds him that those genuine smiles are for him and him only. “I like that you’re so comfortable with me. I’m comfortable around you, too..”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” the moon shines against their faces, providing a peaceful aura and even more romantic atmosphere. This is a perfect moment. “You know, Minamoto-kaichou..”

“Hm?” Teru whispers as he moves his face closer, “What is it?”

Akane moves his face closer in response, “I want to tell you something before the new year starts,” he whispers, “but actions are stronger than words, right?”

“They are,” Teru lowers his voice so it matches Akane’s, “I’d like to tell you something, as well..”

Is this really happening?

Akane can hear his heart pounding in his own ears. All the other noise is blocked out by it. He can only think of Teru, Teru, Teru- how beautiful the boy’s beautiful eyes close up, how soft and kissable his lips look- Akane’s mind is racing and he can’t settle on just one thing of Teru’s to focus on.

The space between their faces only gets smaller as the seconds go by. Slowly but surely, Akane can feel Teru’s warm breath against his face. He can feel the heat radiating off of Teru’s cheeks, as well.

He doesn’t know how to react.

He’s never kissed anyone before, he’s never gotten this close with Teru- their lips will meet any second now.

“Thirty minutes until the countdown starts, everyone!” he hears a girl say, “Everyone get ready!”

Akane suddenly pulls away before anything can happen.

Something about this doesn’t feel right.

Whether it’s Akane’s feelings being played with, or truly being reciprocated- either way, something just isn’t right. If Teru is playing with his heart and going along with whatever he thinks Akane wants, it’d be deemed selfish and cruel all for the sake of Teru’s entertainment. Though if he really feels the same, and all these compliments are true; Akane would feel guilty for expressing these things at the last minute.

“..hm?”

Akane retracts both his arms. He doesn’t just pull his face away, he backs up from Teru completely.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, “I’m really sorry, I have to go-”

“What..?” Teru sounds speechless. If Akane isn’t so busy trying to run off, he may have even noticed Teru sounds hurt. “Aoi, where are you-”

Akane apologizes one last time before making a run for it. He sees Teru’s arm reach out for him, but alas, that doesn’t change his mind.

He just keeps running away from everyone, ignoring the friends he passes by in the process. He wishes he could apologize to them, too.

He stumbles out of the house without a trace.

Akane finds himself standing right outside Kamome Gakuen. He looks at the just barely open school gates before slithering himself through the small spaces and standing on the school grounds.

He stares up in disbelief.

Now how did this happen?

He’s at the one place he promised himself he wouldn’t go today. Everything is going off his plan and it’s an uncomfortable feeling. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen next and it’s absolutely horrifying.

He reaches into his coat pockets, digging through each and every one until he can find what he’s looking for. He crushes his gardenia with his reckless behavior, unfortunately, but he does end up finding the said item.

He lets out a sigh of relief when he’s no longer in his human form. Now no one can see him. He’s by himself, he can still make this work. He won’t die. He can’t die.

It took him ten minutes to get to the school from the party. He only has twenty minutes before the new year starts. His watch is ticking as always.

He hates that damn sound.

And he hates that stupid watch.

The unnecessary reminder that time won’t stop for him is getting on his nerves. He gets it. He saved everything at the last minute. He failed to confess to Teru when he had the chance. His relationships were never truly amended. Hell, he couldn’t even get his own mother to look at him once.

He gets it. Everything is a result or consequence of his actions he should’ve thought twice about. Sure, he thinks twice about everything, doubting his every decision and thought, but maybe he should triple think things, then. He gets it; maybe he shouldn’t be such an idiot all the time.

He gets it, he really does. It’s his fault. Whatever’s going on now is all his fault. He’s going to die soon. Whether it’s in a matter of seconds, or perhaps a matter of minutes- it’s going to happen.

And Akane doesn’t want to accept that.

(If time won’t stop for him, he’ll make it stop.)

He clutches the watch in his hand tightly. He’ll fix this problem. He’ll give himself extra time, even if it’s just a little. It’s better than nothing, isn’t it?

“No.1,”

He almost drops his watch when he hears a voice behind him.

Those sharp eyes on his back, that uncanny recognizable voice- how couldn’t he have guessed who that stare belonged to the second he felt it? It would’ve been kind of hard to assume though, wouldn’t it? He hasn’t spoken to this person in ages. He hasn’t needed to. (He hasn’t wanted to, either.)

“Honorable No.7..” Akane mutters as he turns, “What are you doing out here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence as the seventh mystery walks closer to him. There’s something that’s just so unsettling about their interaction. Something that just isn’t right.

“I..” his voice trails off, “I just have some unfinished business I have to attend to. It’s nothing of your concern. You shouldn’t be sneaking up on me like a slimy freak, anyway.” he hisses, his frustration slipping out in the form of anger. (He’s only going to provoke what’s going to happen more.) “Now, answer my question.”

“Oh, it’s just like you said. It’s nothing of your concern,” Hanako stares at him with those almost empty eyes of his. That boy has an odd sense of morality- he sees everything in black and white. Even if Akane cared enough to attempt reading him, he’d have difficulty understanding any of Hanako’s actions. Sometimes they just don’t make sense no matter how one tries to look at it. “I just have to do my job,”

“And your job involves stalking me?” Akane scoffs, “Yeah, right. You were the one following me in October, weren’t you? The one staring me down all these months? What do you want from me, No.7?”

“It’s simple, really!” Hanako reaches into his own chest, pulling out his weapon of choice; a knife from many years ago. Something about killing his twin brother in the past- Akane doesn’t care enough to know the whole story behind it. He has his own problems to deal with right now. “No.1, you have violated the rules as a school mystery.”

“..what?” Akane blinks, “Excuse me?”

“Did I not make myself clear enough?” The former tilts his head to the side, “You must give up your spot as a clock keeper. If you don’t let it go now, I’ll be forced to take it from you! That’s all there is to it,”

“As much as I’d like to give it up, I physically can’t. I have a contract,” Akane wonders just how stupid the seventh mytery can be. For someone considered above him, he isn’t very smart- or at least Akane believes so. “You can’t.. take it from me, either- this is just my body as it is. Kako has the contract,”

“Hm, that does seem like a problem..” Hanako points the knife in his direction, the sharp end pressing against Akane's tie. “That’s okay! I can fix that! I’ll just take your body, then!”

“What.. the hell?” Akane stares, taking a few nervous steps back. That knife is far too close for comfort, especially given his lifespan. “I- I don’t even know what I did, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Watch your language, No.1!” Hanako wavers his knife around as if it’s some sort of toy. (Akane can’t help but wonder how this guy is the mysteries’ leader. Though he’s scared shitless, so that also kind of answers his own question.) “So you want to know what you did, is what you’re saying?”

“Yes, obviously?! I haven’t done anyth-”

“Well, where should I start!” He retracts his arm. His smile is so terribly unnerving. There’s this strange aura it gives that Akane can’t help but feel terribly uneasy by. “Let’s start with the most obvious. You, as a supernatural, have tried changing the future of a living being. That’s a big one right there! That could get you killed on your own!”

“What..?” Akane mutters, “No, no.. there must be some kind of misunderstanding, I haven’t-”

“You, No.1, have tried changing the future of Akane Aoi!”

“But I.. I am Akane Aoi!” he clenches his free fist in frustration, “I was trying to change my own future! That doesn’t make any sense if I did it myself! And I ended up-”

“Failing anyway?” Hanako blinks, his tone making a sudden drop. “That’s right. In the end, it didn’t do anything for you. You tried changing something and it didn’t work out, you only made things worse.” his tone then goes right back to normal. “It’s a shame, huh? Even if it’s yourself, we don’t like counting the mysteries as the people themselves. Oh well!”

“But I don’t change at all when I’m like this!” Akane’s voice begins to raise, “I’m still me, whether I’m in this form or not!”

“Well, either way, you tried to change the future of a human. I don’t care whether it’s you or not!” Hanako shrugs, “You have to pay the consequences now! Sucks to be you!”

“Wait, wait! What else have I done?” he blurts out, “This isn’t fair, you can’t just..!”

“Oh, but I can.” Hanako walks closer. “I don’t pity your worthless human life. I don’t care what you consider fair and unfair. You’re already half supernatural, what difference does this make to you? I’ll just get rid of you two times. It’s more work for me, but that’s just my job.”

“Aoi!”

“Oh, would you look at that? Just more work to my list! Thanks so much, No.1!”

“President..” Akane stares as he notices a mess of blonde hair squiggle its way through the school gates. “How did you..”

“I followed you here, I was worried when you ran off that way.. was it something I..” it takes Teru a few moments to take in what’s going on. “..ah, you’re with the seventh mystery?”

“He-”

“I’m so glad you could join us, Minamoto!” Hanako throws his knife in the air, letting it spin a few times before catching it effortlessly. “You’re about to witness a moment in history!”

“What?” Teru glares at him, “Aoi, what does he mean by that?”

“I..” Akane swallows nervously in response. This probably looks awfully suspicious to Teru now that he thinks about it. Though he can’t exactly defend himself if he has no clue what’s happening. “Don’t believe anything he says, I.. I don’t know what’s going on!”

“Awh, come on!” Hanako shakes his head, “Don’t play dumb, No.1! We’ve been planning this the entire year, remember? You, me.. and all the other school mysteries!”

“Planning what?” Teru takes his eyes off of Hanako and glares at Akane instead. Those eyes aren’t the loving soft ones he recognizes- they aren’t the ones full of care and affection. They’re filled with resentment. “Aoi, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing! I-”

“Oh, Minamoto.. No.1 hasn't told you anything, has he?” the seventh mystery makes a fake pout, “Doesn’t it suck? The person you trust the most doesn’t trust you at all in return?”

“Shut it, No.7.” Teru hisses. He isn’t just confused, he’s angry, too. (He’s still hurt, Akane can hear it in his voice- but he’s so upset it seems he won’t act on any of his other feelings.) “I’m not trying to hear from you.”

“And you want to hear from No.1 instead?” Hanako hums, “Well, come on, then, No.1! Tell him what we all have planned!”

“We don’t have anything planned!” Akane glares, “Stop framing me for something I know nothing about, you-”

“It’s not like you could forget!” Hanako snickers, “You came here for a reason! Why else would you run to the school, No.1? Tell us!”

“Because I..”

Teru falls silent as he listens to them both. Akane can feel his cold eyes staring into his own- if he had a good alibi, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He can’t say a word of why he’s actually here. He can’t say he’s going to die.

“You know, that’s none of your business!” That's all Akane can get out. He can’t make up an excuse for this off the topic of his head. He’s too panicked for that. “Minamoto-kaichou.. don’t tell me..”

Akane watches as Teru pulls out his sword. Small cackles of electricity surround it; the same electricity used to exorcize unwanted supernaturals. Akane can feel the color drain from his body.

“You.. don’t believe him, do you?”

“All this time,” Teru mutters, looking down at the ground. He refuses to make eye contact with Akane anymore. Akane’s heart strings. “I thought there was something off. Ever since this year started, you’ve been so odd, Aoi..” his grip on his sword only gets tighter. “I wondered what it might be..”

“Woah, this is a change of events! How fun! The exorcist has found out the truth!”

“President,” Akane ignores Hanako’s words and holds his watch close to himself. He’s ready to use it and stop any of this from escalating. “It’s not what you think it is..”

“..for you to be working with the other school mysteries behind my back,” Teru swallows thickly, “I would have never seen this coming, especially not from you.” he sighs, “But I suppose it does explain your behavior this year, doesn’t it?”

“No, no.. it’s not-” Akane’s heart gets stuck in his throat. He can’t defend himself. It’s too hard to speak. “It’s nothing like that, it..”

“Aoi..”

“Where’s your proper reasoning, No.1?” Hanako interrupts, “Will you finally admit it yourself?”

“I have nothing to admit, you filthy excuse for a leader..” Akane shakes his head, “Minamoto-kaichou, please.. you have to understand-”

“Understand what, Aoi?” Teru shakes his head, “All this time, I thought you were different from the other supernaturals- because you were still human, because you were still you- but I was wrong, oh so wrong, hm?”

“What? I’m..” Akane listens as Teru’s voice begins to get faster and more frantic. He swears he hears the boy’s voice crack at least once or twice. “I’m still me, I just-”

“Don’t interrupt, you traitor.”

“Traitor?” he whispers under his breath, “This is a misunderstanding, I just need to explain-”

“How could I have been so blind?” Teru hisses, “You aren’t trustworthy at all, Aoi. You’re just like the rest of them. I shouldn’t have even tried seeing the best in you.” he lifts his sword in anger, “Because in the end, you’re just some filthy, disgusting, supernatural-”

There’s a strange feeling in Akane’s chest.

He can’t exactly decipher what it is. It’s difficult to describe with words; the best way he can put it is to say that it feels as if something is pulling his own life out of his body. The sensation is weakening, and that new smell is absolutely sickening.

It feels warm, too. While Akane loves the warmth, this sort of warmth doesn’t feel nice. It burns his chest. It stings, even. Is it liquid? Maybe it is. It definitely feels and acts that way. He feels something drip down and onto his shoes, and onto his hands as well. It’s completely covering them now, staining his pale skin with a deep crimson red color.

He glances down.

Oh, it’s coming from his chest.

Oh.

It’s coming from his chest.

Teru’s sword is piercing through his chest; blood seeps down from a newly opened wound right where his heart should be. He doesn’t know how he’s still alive. He doesn’t really know how to process this, either. The electricity from the sword is making his mind feel fuzzy. Maybe it’s the sudden blood pouring out of his body? He can’t tell. Either one makes sense, either one would be the death of him.

He watches as the blade is slowly pulled out of him. He feels dizzy, he can’t even stand straight anymore. His white vest is stained red. His skin is stained red. He’s bleeding, and it’s everywhere-

“Oh my god..” he hears Teru say, “Aoi, I-”

Though his mind tunes out everything else. He’s dying. Akane is dying.

And because of Teru, nonetheless.

Akane is dying due to the one person he trusted the most. The boy he loved, the boy he wanted to spend his last moments with- that boy is the same person who is going to be responsible for his death.

“I didn’t mean- Aoi!”

He comes crashing down, dropping his watch and reverting back to his human form. He can’t keep his balance and all his blood gets spilled onto the floor. He can still speak, but he has nothing to say. What can he even say in this situation? There’s no point in defending himself.

Teru slides his arms around his body, picking him up as gently as he possibly can- avoiding causing any more damage than he’s already done. It reminds Akane of when he was carried in September. It’s a similar position, but a completely different situation. Either way, it hurts like hell itself.

“Thanks for doing my job for me, Minamoto!” Hanako tips his hat, “I had to get rid of this clock keeper, anyway. He’s been causing me a lot of trouble lately! Trying to change his future is no good according to our school mystery rules!”

“You..” Teru holds Akane close to his own body. He seems like he’s having trouble speaking, too. Akane doesn’t understand why. “You tricked me,”

“You fell for it yourself!” Hanako shrugs, “In the end, it worked out for me. I really did need No.1 gone, after all! Now I don’t have to get my hands dirty!”

“I’ll kill you.” Teru mutters, glancing down at his sword on the ground. He dropped it the second he pulled it away. “I’ll exorcize you right now, you-”

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?” the former points at the boy in his arms. Akane is whining in pain, clutching onto Teru’s shirt tightly. It’s not like Teru could pick up this sword again even if he wanted to. “You can only do one, so which one will it be? Which would you rather do, Minamoto? Save No.1, or exorcize me, instead?”

“I..” Akane isn’t used to hearing Teru sound so unsure of himself. He isn’t used to the exorcist’s panicked tone. Well, he should be panicking, too- but he’s too busy trying to stay awake to even start. “I’ll deal with you later.”

“Okay! Let’s see how that goes,” Hanako smiles ominously, “See you around, Minamoto. Goodbye, No.1!” and with that, he’s gone. He’s completely left the scene, leaving Akane alone with Teru.

Teru glances down at Akane. Akane doesn’t understand what’s happening.

The boy runs into the school while carrying him the entire time. And Akane.. still doesn’t understand.

“President,” he mumbles after a few minutes pass by. There’s ten minutes until midnight strikes. He can’t tell if time is passing extremely slow, or way too fast for his liking. “Where are we going?”

“To the clock keepers,” Teru tells him, “They’re the closest ones available to us at the moment.”

“Why are we going there?” the former blinks slowly. Things are already starting to get blurry- and Teru’s voice is already starting to get harder to hear. “Minamoto-kaichou.. my chest hurts,” he’s sure Teru already knows that, though.

“I know,” Teru mutters shamefully. Akane isn’t really sure, but he thinks he can see tears form in the corner of the exorcist’s eyes. A part of him aches knowing that it’s his fault Teru’s crying, but the other is curious. Teru is finally being honest with his feelings; he’s going to cry over Akane. “I know, and I’m sorry, Aoi. I’m going to make things better, so don’t you worry about a single thing. You’re going to be just fine, okay? The clock keepers must know something we can do..”

“Why are you sorry?” This gives Akane a bit of deja vu, though their roles are now swapped. He can’t help but feel the need to apologize, too. “..but I’m sorry, too, though,”

“Don’t apologize, don’t you dare-” Teru sounds like he’s holding back. Maybe Akane won’t see him cry before he dies. Maybe that’s a good thing. He won’t die with too many regrets; he won’t die knowing he’s the reason for Teru’s tears. “You aren’t at fault for any of this, don’t take responsibility for my actions.”

“But I..”

“No buts, Aoi,” he’s cut off by Teru’s words, “I don’t need you to prove anything to me, I just need you to focus on yourself. Take deep breaths and think about things that make you happy, alright?”

“It’s getting hard to breathe, though,” Akane’s grip is loosening on Teru’s clothing. He isn’t actually sure why he isn’t sad about this. Has he finally grown to accept his future? Is this the end of his grieving? “It’s getting harder to think, too,” or maybe that’s it. Well, it’s hard to think when he’s on the verge of death.

“I know it is,” Teru’s lip quivers, “But you have to try for me. I need to keep you awake, I’m not sure if they’ll be able to do anything if you’ve already..”

“Am I finally going to die?”

Akane knows the answer to that. He’s been told his fate from the beginning. No amount of denial will ever change the fact that he knew.

Teru, on the other hand, does not and never did know. So Akane’s words are probably a heavy question to him. It just adds to Teru’s guilt. His eyes aren’t loving, nor are they cold and threatening- they’re filled with regret.

“Don’t.. Don’t say that. You aren’t going to die,” Teru lowers his voice so it matches Akane’s volume. Now they’re both whispering in the silence of the school. “I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. I promised.. I’d protect you.” he pauses, “And I failed. I failed you, Aoi. I’m so sorry.”

“..it’s okay,” Akane mumbles. (But there’s not a single ‘I forgive you.’) “You didn’t.. fail me,”

“You were so cautious of everyone else,” Teru’s voice cracks, “And I told you I’d prevent anything bad from happening, yet.. it did anyway, and I’m the one who caused it. All because I was stupid and fell for No.7’s terrible lies.. which weren’t even that well thought of..”

“They really weren’t,” the apparition coughs. The pain in his chest is getting worse and worse. “..I don’t want you to blame yourself, though. It’s my fault,”

“How is this in any way your fault, Aoi..?”

“I’m not trustworthy,” he pauses, “If I had only gained your trust properly..”

“What? You are, you are trustworthy.” Teru doesn’t even let him finish his sentence. “I wasn’t in the right mind. I was so focused on the fact that.. you could have betrayed me, that I didn’t even consider the possibilities..”

“But you said you’ve been suspicious of me this entire time,” Akane feels tears form in his own eyes. If they’re beginning to fall, he can’t feel it- but he’s sure it’s possible because he can see Teru’s expression worsen at his own. “Why don’t you trust me enough to tell me the truth?”

“Aoi, I do trust you. I do, I swear..”

“I wish.. I wish I could’ve been a better friend to you.”

“You are just fine as you are,”

“I’m not,” he whispers, “I’m not what you want in a friend, and I’m not what you want in a partner, either. I just wish I made you comfortable enough to talk to me,” his voice begins to grow quiet. Teru’s heart rate spikes. “I wish you felt the same.”

“What..?”

“I’ve always wanted to tell you about how I feel,” Akane closes his eyes, “But I was so scared. you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore. I didn’t want you to think I loved your dumb persona.. because I never did. I love you for you,” he giggles softly, “It’s a little too late for that, huh? I should’ve told you earlier.. I wish I kissed you at the party. I wish I didn’t run away.”

“Aoi..”

“I don’t need to hear your response to my confession,” he smiles slightly, “This is my thirteenth time trying.. I was only supposed to do twelve. It’s kind of funny when I think about it, because I think.. I’ve realized maybe I was just.. never supposed to feel this way. Maybe I shouldn’t have ever loved you this way, at all.” he lets out one more cough, “I’m sorry, president, but I really.. do love you.”

“Listen to me, I..”

Fate takes Akane too soon.

“..Aoi?”

The boy falls silent once the clock strikes at midnight. The bells ring simultaneously around the school, letting anyone inside know what time it is.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM.

“No, no..” Teru stumbles mid-step, almost falling forward and near-dropping Akane’s body in the process. His hands are soaked with the boy’s blood, the liquid drips down onto the floor and has been leaving a trail this entire time. “Can you hear me, Aoi? Hey..”

Of course, he doesn’t get a response.

Akane is far too gone.

“No..” Teru blinks, “I promised,” he shakes his head, “I promise I’d protect you, I’ll save you. I can still do something.. I told you not to worry.”

He dashes forward soon after. He notices a few papers and even a flower fall out of Akane’s coat pockets due to the sudden speed, though he pays no attention to them. He runs faster than he ever has in his seventeen years of living- he’s never actually had to run this fast before. Everything he’s done has been with little to no flaws. He’s never had to fix such a big mistake such as this one.

(But here he is now.)

“Akane.. oh no, why is he..”

When Teru arrives at the clock keepers’ boundary, he finds Mirai first. If Akane were alive, he’d be pissed at this fact. Teru knows how close the two were. Showing Mirai Akane’s corpse isn’t exactly something Akane would want, but Teru would do anything to avoid the regret.

“Where’s the clock keeper of the past?” Teru asks the girl in front of him, “Please, I need him..” he sounds vulnerable. He sounds like he’s begging. He hates it. “And as soon as possible.”

“Mirai.. will go get him for you,” Mirai seems too stunned to be able to speak properly. She doesn’t sound anything like the way Akane described her to him- she doesn’t sound cheerful at all. She sounds frightened and sad. Perhaps it’s Teru’s fault she feels this way. (It most definitely is.) “..Kako, Akane’s boyfriend is here for you.”

“The Minamoto’s boy?” Teru overhears a deep voice from somewhere nearby. He watches as an old figure approaches both him and Mirai. “Oh, my. Now, how did this happen?”

Teru swallows thickly.

“It’s my fault,” he outright admits. Well, Akane did want him to be more honest, didn't he? “We got caught into something, and halfway I.. lost it. I got frustrated and I hurt him much more than I ever intended to. I never wanted to hurt him at all,” he shakes his head, holding Akane’s body closer to his own. Akane is getting cold. He does his best to keep the boy warm. “Please, will you help me..?”

Mirai and Kako look at each other. They whisper amongst themselves as if they’re judging Teru immensely. He can feel their stares on both him and Akane. He feels as if they’re being put on display for sick entertainment.

“I know he’s just some object to you both,” Teru blurts out, “I know he isn’t very important to either of you, as he’s just a human under your contract- so he’s considered easily replaceable. But he’s much more to me- he’s everything to me. I could never replace him with anyone or anything else. You have to do something, I can’t let him die.”

“That boy is already dead,” Kako tells him, “What is it that you want us to do?”

“Anything,” Teru lets out a choked sob, “Please, do anything.. he can’t be dead,”

“Kako, isn’t there something we can do..?” Mirai tugs at the other clock keeper’s coat, “Akane.. wouldn’t like it if Mirai let his boyfriend cry. Mirai doesn’t want Akane to be dead.. Mirai is going to miss him,”

“We’d be interfering with the future human’s life.” Kako stares down at her, “That would be messing with fate. You are much more aware of the consequences than Minamoto is.”

“Mirai knows,” she tugs even more, “But it’s worth it. Akane isn’t replaceable to Mirai, either..”

Teru listens carefully. He does his best to hold back the rest of his sobs- for an exorcist such as himself to be crying in front of supernaturals is just a window wide open for vulnerability. His main focus is still Akane, but he can’t let his guard down.

“I assumed you’d say something like that when this happened.”

“Mirai doesn’t want to let go. Akane was so nice..”

“Even though we may find a replacement much nicer?”

“They won’t be the same.”

“Well, then, I do suppose we can do something.”

“Thank you,” Teru finally chimes in, sniffling as he speaks. “..what exactly can you do?”

“I’d assume the most we can do is set the school’s time back a year or so.” Kako holds a watch of his own. While Teru trusts the clock keepers enough to help, he doesn’t trust them with Akane completely. He can’t help but bring Akane closer to himself. “That includes Akane. His time would restart from January 1st of last year.”

“That works,” Teru mutters, “I’ll take that one year. I’ll do anything I can to keep him safe during that time,”

“Are you sure?” Mirai asks him, “Mirai.. cares about Akane like Teru does, but Mirai knows the future.. is stuck like that.”

“What she’s trying to say is that Akane’s fate won’t be changed.” Kako puts Mirai’s words into a much more understandable phrase. Teru understands either way. Akane’s talked about Mirai enough to get what she means. (He’s starting to miss the boy’s voice already. It’s only been a few minutes.) “Do you still want to proceed?”

“Yes, I do.” the exorcist sighs, “I’ll take any opportunity I’m given. I’ll change fate for him,”

“Change fate..” Mirai tilts her head to the side, “Kako, can that happen?”

“We’ll see.” Kako takes a step forward, holding his clock in front of him. “I must confirm one more time before we proceed. Are you sure you want to do this, Minamoto?”

“I’m sure,” Teru glances down at Akane. His eyes are shut, and his face looks awfully soft. He looks much more peaceful like this than he ever did when he was alive. “If restarting this school’s time is what it takes to save him, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll do anything.”

“I see.” Kako pauses, “Good luck with that.”

“Good luck,” Mirai adds on, “Keep Akane safe for us,”

“I will.”

Teru closes his eyes.

“I’ll keep him safe for all of eternity.”

He presses a soft kiss against Akane’s forehead before mumbling against it.

“I love you, too.” his heart pounds in his chest as he speaks, “Though I never found the right moment to say it. If I knew this was going to happen to you, I would have told you much sooner. I would have taken that risk of rejection long ago. I never noticed your past attempts to confess to me, but I would have accepted them in a heartbeat.” A few of his tears drip down his cheeks and onto Akane’s skin. He feels even worse for tainting the boy’s peaceful face. He’s already ruined him beyond repair. “When this is all over, I’ll tell you everything you want to know. Why you remind me so much of the moon, why you remind me so much of a cat.. I’ll make sure to protect you this time, no matter what it takes.”

There’s a sudden breeze. Teru can feel it.

“You mean everything to me, Aoi. You always have.”

In the blink of an eye, everything around them disappears.

The scene fades to black.

(Akane’s time is up.)

Chapter Text

Teru wakes up alone in his room.

The mornings in his household are often pretty quiet. Tiara and Kou are both sleeping soundly in their own rooms, as they’re both growing and need their time to rest. The rain accompanied by some soft chirping from outside provides a nice background noise to sleep with. Their father is out doing work as always, and their mother isn’t present. It’s just Teru and his siblings in the house.

His thoughts remain quiet for a moment or two as he tries to recall what he’s supposed to be doing. There’s this strange feeling in him that says something’s missing; that someone is missing.

He then sits up quickly.

He looks around his room frantically, rubbing his eyes to make sure this is real. He’s not at school anymore. He’s really at home; he’s really in bed. He then looks down at his hands; there’s no blood dripping down his fingers, there’s no sign of death anywhere at all. His hands look the same way they always do; there’s just a few scratches from his daily duties- but that’s normal, he sees those every day. His sword remains in the corner of his room, untouched and clean in its holder. It’s not bloody and somewhere on the floor.

He stumbles out of bed as he rushes to his desk. It’s a complete mess- he could’ve sworn it was clean the last time he saw it; in fact, he remembers cleaning it way back in July when he had the time. It’s odd to see it like this.

After a few minutes of pushing useless papers onto the ground, he finds a calendar in the middle of the mess. Kou always gets himself, Teru, and Tiara all calendars for the new year a few days in advance- Teru’s already gone through his, as he crosses off every day once it’s over. Obviously, the year has been completed, so his calendar should be, too, right?

When he gets his hands on the calendar, not a single day is crossed off on it.

The calendar is completely clean. There’s not one mark on it. Today, it’s January 1st of last year.

Teru blinks.

Did he just have some weird dream about going through every single day of the year? Did he just have a nightmare where he killed his beloved and sobbed as he held him and listened to his last words?

That can’t be the case. It felt far too realistic to just be his imagination, he remembers feeling every single thing that happened- not to mention, he’s lived this exact day already. His room is the exact same as it was in his memory, the same as last year.

Has his time really been reset? Has he really been brought back to last year to save Akane’s life?

He pushes himself away from his desk and makes his way towards his closet. He changes clothes as quickly as he can before leaving the house.

He’s not going to risk a single thing. If time has really been reset, he’s going to do everything in his power to protect Akane.

That includes running in the rain, for some odd reason.

He runs in the rain as it hits him harshly; though he pays no attention to it. His immune system is pretty strong after all, getting sick is not much of a problem he has to worry about.

Either way, all he can think is Akane, Akane, Akane- the boy fills his mind like there’s no tomorrow. All his thoughts are dedicated to him. He’s so worried he can barely even balance himself correctly- he stumbles on the sidewalk every few moments.

If he’s correct, Akane should currently be inside the school. He later walks outside, uncomfortable and unhappy when he’s done with whatever he was supposed to be doing beforehand.

And so, Teru squeezes himself through the gates to reach Akane before that can happen.

He’s absolutely breathless by the time he reaches the clock keepers’ boundary. He stares up with his mouth slightly agape. The slight sun highlighting the room makes the scene look almost heavenly.

“Mirai, stop running around the boundary. Kako is going to be on my a- Kako is going to be.. upset if I keep letting you do that. I’ll cut you some apple slices in a minute, just wait a little longer.. I’m almost done cleaning,”

Teru listens to the soft voice as his heart skips a beat or two. He hasn’t ever missed Akane’s voice this much before. It feels like he hasn’t seen the boy in years- even though it hasn’t been very long at all.

Akane looks beautiful as always.

“You sound all tired out, have you been running around the entire school? What did I tell you about doing that? Doing it within our boundary is bad enough..”

His gentle worried voice is all Teru needs at the moment. Akane is all Teru needs at the moment. “Aoi, I..”

Akane turns to face him.

“President?” he blinks, almost stumbling off the ladders he’s on. Teru rushes to the ladders to hold them so they don’t wobble. (What if Akane fell off and got hurt? What would he do then? Would Akane’s blood stain his clothes again? Would it be his fault? Would he feel the guilt?) “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home? You know schools are always closed during this time,”

“I just..” Teru pants softly, trying to catch his breath. “I..”

“You shouldn’t be running in the rain, I could’ve sworn you were Mirai running around..” Akane climbs down the stairs, reverting back to his human form. (This feels awfully unnatural. Seeing Akane alive after what he had dealt with just a day ago is odd, but comforting at the same time. Though Teru’s feelings are always conflicted when it comes to Akane, so this is no surprise to him.) “..are you okay?”

“Aoi,” Teru suddenly grabs both his hands, holding them within his own. “Would you spend New Years with me?”

“..huh?” Akane stares at him in shock, his cheeks flushing red as he stutters for a moment or two. “W-What’s your deal, Minamoto-kaichou?” he scoffs as he pulls away, “Quit messing with me and go back home, I’m not doing this with you today. I thought you were hurt, or something.. don’t take advantage of me like that.”

Teru pauses.

If time has really been reset, then the two aren’t as close as they were before. They’re still very close, of course, but there’s less trust and honesty. It’s no wonder Akane assumed this was a trick so quickly; the Akane in his timeline would have hesitated for at least two seconds before going into denial straight away.

Teru knows Akane loves him back either way.

But Teru also knows Akane will also never admit that himself.

“I’m not playing around,” Teru puts a hand on his own chest. Akane wanted him to be more honest- and so he will be. Though this might be a bit sudden to this timeline’s Akane; he doesn’t seem to understand what’s happening. “I’m being genuine.”

“Did you seriously run all the way over here in the rain to ask me.. that?”

“I did,” he nods, “I ran all the way here in the rain to ask you just that~”

“Tch.. that’s stupid, you know? If you’re that desperate, then sure, I’ll spend New Years with you. I didn’t have anything planned today, anyway. My parents are out of the house,” Akane hesitantly reaches his hand out, placing it on Teru’s cheek. He caresses it carefully. “Your face is really warm, though.. don’t go running for something so dumb, especially not in this weather. If you wanted to hangout, you could’ve just texted me. You have to take better care of yourself,”

Teru puts his hand on top of Akane’s in response. It’s an instinct.

Akane’s touch is awfully nice to him. His skin is soft, and there’s no blood covering his freckles.

Akane is warm.

Teru lets out a small sigh of relief.

Akane is warm. He’s alive and safe within Teru’s presence. He’s not harmed, and he’s not afraid, either- he’s not stuttering to defend himself against something that isn’t even his fault. He’s okay, and he’s right in front of Teru, holding him gently.

“..you never answered my question,” Akane mumbles, “are you feeling okay? You aren’t acting like yourself, this is.. sudden.”

“Ah..” Teru can’t bring himself to pull away. He watched Akane die in his arms, he can’t just get over that within a day- so he just continues. “Apologies~ I’ve just been thinking about things, my thoughts haven’t been the clearest.” Teru pauses, “After this, would you like to go on a date with me sometime this week? It’s our winter break, after all~ we have all the time in the world,”

“A date?” Akane quickly flusters up, “Is this funny to you?” he puffs his cheeks and huffs, “The year just started, and you’re already acting this way? Save your idiotic teases for the end of the month, at least.”

“I’m being serious,” Teru turns his head to the side to kiss the boy’s palm. He watches as he only gets redder with time. “I.. adore you, Aoi.”

“Huh?” Akane manages to squeak out, “Wh-What..”

“I apologize if this is sudden, like you said..” Teru whispers against his hand, “I suppose you could say.. I had some sort of epiphany recently?” he pulls away to smile, making sure Akane can see his fangs. (That epiphany was more like finally realizing Akane’s future. It was more like feeling the overwhelming guilt for not confessing earlier.) “You’re very important to me, much more than I’ve ever expressed. I want to change that and show you just how much you mean to me,”

“This is..” Akane takes a step back. He glances away and doesn’t make eye contact. “..weird,”

“Weird? How so?”

“Who told you I had a crush on you, and why are you acting so bold? Are you really the president I know?” he crosses his arms, “If you are, I think it’s pretty sick you’d act this way.. I never thought you’d stoop down so low for some entertainment.”

“How do you want me to prove that I’m being honest?”

“How do you prove they aren’t lies, either?”

Teru clasps his hands together, “Would you like me to do a flip, or something along those lines, Aoi? A backflip, even? Would that prove my feelings for you?”

Akane can’t help but smile and let out a small giggle. “You’re too funny and honest to be my Teru. Did you come from a different dimension, or what?”

(Close enough. He’s from a different timeline.)

“Oh, right. Forgot to give you my answer, uhm..” Akane clears his throat, before reaching over for one of Teru’s hands and holding in his own. Teru intertwines their fingers to give him a sense of security. Akane isn’t as paranoid, but he does it, anyway. “Yeah.. I’ll go on a date with you. I don’t understand why this is all happening, since the year just started.. but I’ll take it.”

“That's great,” Teru only smiles more. “We can talk about where we should go once we get to my place,”

“Wait, wait, we’re leaving now?”

“Of course! We’re spending New Years together,” he begins to drag them along to the exit, “you agreed to that too, after all!”

“Yeah, but it’s raining out there..” Akane mutters, “And I still have to finish my job here, Kako is going to be pissed if he finds out I didn’t finish cleaning that clock.”

“Oh, I’m sure he won’t.” Teru clicks his tongue, “We’ve.. arranged something, don’t worry~”

“That’s awfully suspicious, why are you talking to my boss behind my back?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it~ it’s a secret,” he gives Akane’s hand a light squeeze. He doesn’t plan on mentioning Akane’s death- he’ll let the apparition be blissfully unaware of what happened. (Teru couldn’t keep his timeline’s Akane happy, but he can definitely make this one smile.) “Now, make sure not to slip while we run in the rain, alright?”

“..I guess it’s my lucky year?” Akane giggles again, “Alright, let’s go,”

It is, in fact, not Akane’s lucky year. Teru realizes this shortly after the first day. Something was terribly off and it settled in far too quickly; it was something he didn’t know how to properly deal with.

While the two begin dating fairly early on in the year, Akane falls ill.

Terribly ill.

It started off with subtle coughing from running in the rain. Teru did his best to take care of Akane; bringing him extra blankets, letting him stay over whenever he pleased, making sure he was warm all the time- he even went to the extent of asking Kou to make Akane healthy meals in case Akane couldn’t get up to make them himself. Though it was to no avail, Akane would just keep sneezing and coughing everywhere he went.

He dismissed it as a small cold and told his lover he had nothing to worry about. He went on with everyday casually as it got worse and worse.

It became difficult for him to go on dates. He’d rarely even leave his own house, and when he did, he had to wear a mask in fear of getting Teru sick. He never kissed Teru and he never got closer than necessary. He didn’t have the opportunity to talk to his friends.

It became difficult for him to do anything in general.

“It’s just a small cold,” was what Akane would continuously tell Teru every time he came over to question his health, “Don’t worry so much, sweetheart. I’ll be just fine, go hang out with everyone else until I get better. I don’t want to get you sick, too,”

Eventually, Akane stopped going to school altogether. Teru never got to see his own boyfriend unless he came to visit on his own time. (Which wasn’t much, as he had his own things to do on top of the task of protecting Akane. He still had his own job, he couldn’t give that up just yet.) Akane’s parents didn’t care enough to help him and Teru was too young to do anything himself. He couldn’t save Akane the way he wanted to.

Teru holds the boy’s corpse in his arms exactly one year later.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM of sickness. A sickness never named professionally, but a sickness nonetheless- and now Teru feels sick to his stomach as he goes to fix everything once more.

“It happened again?” Mirai hides behind Kako, avoiding looking at Akane’s sickly body. “Why..? You said you’d protect Akane, you swore you’d change his fate..”

“I did my best,” Teru mutters, “I.. believe there was something in the rain at the beginning of the year. He got sick shortly after, as I didn’t have an umbrella. I took care of him the best I could, but nothing worked out, he..”

“Still passed on.” Kako stares, “It’s a shame.”

“You have to do something,”

“And what might that be?”

“Restart his time again, please..” Teru begs, “I’ll fix it this time, I promise. I’ll bring an umbrella at the beginning of the year and make sure he never gets sick, I won’t even let the rain touch his skin once.”

Kako and Mirai look at each other.

“Do you promise?” This time it’s Mirai who chooses to speak to him. Her childlike voice and appearance makes Teru feel much less intimidated, yet a lot more guilty. “And are you sure you want to do this again? Really, really, really sure?”

“Yes, I’m really, really, really sure.” Teru holds Akane’s cold body close to his own. Similar to their first experience, he looks much more peaceful dead than he ever did when he was alive. It hurts Teru in a way he can’t understand; in a way he’ll never understand. (Death could possibly be the end of Akane’s misery, but it would never be Teru’s.) “I promise. I’ll do it right this time,”

“..okay,” Mirai takes a step back as Kako takes a step forward. “Mirai and Kako are counting on you,”

That same breeze from before surrounds Teru and Akane once again.

Teru presses a kiss against Akane’s forehead before it all fades to black.

Teru wakes up alone in his room.

The mornings in his household are often pretty quiet. Tiara and Kou are both sleeping soundly in their own rooms, as they’re both growing and need their time to rest.

Teru zones out for a second before getting up.

This time he’s sure this isn’t a dream. He doesn’t have to frantically look through his things, he only settles on grabbing his calendar from his messy desk. As predicted, it says that it’s the first day of last year.

He reaches for a coat before making his way towards the room door.

He takes a few steps back to grab his umbrella and then leaves. He won’t make the same mistake this time around; he’ll save Akane for sure.

When he gets there, it’s the same old conversation. No matter what, Akane will always look beautiful with the slight sunlight hitting his face. He’ll always be beautiful to Teru.

“This time, I made sure to bring an umbrella, Aoi~”

“This time?”

Well, there’s going to be a few slip-ups here and there. Teru offers a smile and his hand. “This time,” is all he says before leading Akane out of the school. Akane just tilts his head in confusion, but he lets it happen anyway. He doesn’t do any further questioning and they go on as normal.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM.

Teru stares at him in shock.

He didn’t get sick, nor did he get murdered by Teru, either. In an attempt to help Teru while he was beyond exhausted and exorcizing supernaturals, Akane gets himself killed, instead. He isn’t weak by any means, but he doesn’t have much experience fighting supernaturals- let alone with an exorcist by his side. Teru was paranoid his sword would get a little too close to Akane’s chest the entire time and paid more attention to being careful than he did protecting Akane.

And so, Teru brings his body to the clock keepers.

“Again?”

“It was an accident,” Teru blurts out as his reasoning, “He wanted to help me, and.. he got himself hurt in the process. If I just paid a little more attention to him, or if he had called out for help himself.. I would’ve gotten to him in time.”

“So you’re admitting it’s your fault?” Kako blinks, “Are you the one to blame for Akane’s three deaths so far?”

Teru swallows thickly. “No, that isn’t what I’m trying to say.” he shakes his head. (But when he looks down at Akane in his arms, that’s all he can think. It’s his fault for bringing Akane back a second time; it’s his fault Akane is suffering once more.) “I just missed the opportunity. I’ll be sure to do it right this time,”

“Is that really what you want, Minamoto?”

“Of course,”

“You aren’t just doing this out of guilt, are you?”

“No,” Teru hesitates to respond as he isn’t actually sure about his answer. He doesn’t know why he’s doing this- perhaps his love for Akane has grown too much? Or maybe he really is just doing it out of guilt- maybe he doesn’t want to be seen as the heartless exorcist who took the life of his beloved. He’ll never get over it no matter how many times he retries, he’s the one who killed Akane. “I love Aoi more than anyone in this world. To know I failed to save him.. how am I to live on that way?”

“That’s for you to figure out. You must accept that the boy you love is no longer yours.”

“Ah,” he blinks, “It’s not about making him mine, it’s about saving his life. I value that much more than my wish to be in a relationship with him,” and that’s the truth as far as he knows. “If he doesn’t want to be with me, then so be it. I only want him alive and well.”

“How selfless.” Kako holds out his watch. It’s beginning to become a routine, Teru is used to this. He knows what happens once that watch is put to work. “So even though Akane may not want to be with you, you will continue on for him?”

“That’s right,” Teru nods, “This time, I’ll focus on protecting him much more than being with him. I’ll make sure he’s my priority over my work, as well. Everything I do will be for him.”

“Whatever you say.”

And the breeze makes a grand return as Teru kisses Akane’s forehead. Everything fades to black.

Teru wakes up alone in his room.

The mornings in his household are often pretty quiet. Tiara and Kou are both sleeping soundly in their own rooms, as they’re both growing and need their time to- oh, Teru already knows the drill. He knows his exact thoughts and what’s going to come next. He gets out of bed and double checks his calendar.

January 1st of last year, just as he suspected.

This time, when he goes to Akane, he only spends New Years with him. The two do dumb stuff together and Teru’s focus is only Akane.

But once again, Akane manages to die on him.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM. This time, it’s an accident. He very inconveniently gets hit whilst crossing the street- Teru can’t be watching over him like some sort of angel, he can’t prevent that sort of thing. How is he supposed to stop a car, anyway? He’s only a teenager.

The year itself felt like a blur- Teru can’t comprehend it. He rethinks every decision he’s made as he holds Akane’s injured body and brings it along.

“Restart it again,” he’s sure the clock keepers are growing used to this. “Please,”

“Are you sure?”

They ask him that every time. Teru’s answer never changes.

“I’m sure.”

He’s going to save Akane. He’s sure of it.

(Even though his mind tells him otherwise. There’s a part of him that just wants to stop- a part of him that thinks it’s best to just let Akane rest in peace. Resetting time is not only bringing Teru pain, but Akane, too- he doesn’t know it, but he’s dying constantly. Teru’s guilt only seems to increase as these things happen.)

“Don’t count on it..”

Mirai slowly begins to lose faith in him. It’s only the third time Akane’s life is brought back and she’s already settled on disliking Teru.

Teru doesn’t really blame her.

He presses a kiss onto Akane’s forehead as he closes his eyes.

He wakes up. He knows the routine.

The year seems to go by much faster than he thinks. It’s the same as any other year, but the repetitive days seem to pass so easily.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM. He’s involved with an accident in the school, something about a mistake in the building’s structure- he doesn’t survive the injury.

Teru goes back to the clock keepers’ boundary and time is reset for him.

He wakes up again. He goes to Akane.

He makes sure to keep the death from the last timeline in mind. He does that every time, he makes sure the same death never happens again.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM. He’s murdered by a friend unintentionally in an argument.

Teru goes to the clock keepers and has time reset for him.

He wakes up.

He goes through with everything he knows.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM. He’s hit on the head with a blunt object.

Teru makes sure time is reset for Akane.

He wakes up.

Akane dies on January 1st at 12:00 AM.

Teru makes sure time is reset.

He wakes up.

Akane dies.

Time is reset.

Time is reset.

Teru isn’t sure how much longer he can keep up with this. He isn’t sure how long it’ll be until one of these timelines rips him into pieces mercilessly- the same way he killed Akane who knows how many timelines ago. He’s actually beginning to lose track of it; his memory has gotten significantly worse.

He can’t keep a notebook of what’s happening in each timeline, as its pages will only be blank when he restarts everything. There would be no point and he’d be putting effort into nothing.

But isn’t he putting effort into nothing already? He’s worked himself beyond exhaustion protecting Akane only to watch him die again. He should know Akane’s fate is just about unchangeable- even his book says so. In the 4 PM Bookstacks, every page of Akane’s is blank except the last one; which just so happens to be stating that he will die at a specific time.

Nonetheless, throughout the timelines, Teru’s tried everything he’s capable of thinking of. He avoided letting Akane get sick, he avoided letting him get hurt- he made sure to take care of even the smallest of papercuts. Yet, somehow, oh so very surprisingly, Akane would still die in Teru’s arms. He should be able to predict it by now; no matter what happens, Akane’s death is still present within every timeline.

Perhaps it’s some sort of bad luck? Teru has even tried avoiding Akane in an attempt to see if he was the problem; and Akane only ended up being murdered by another- seriously, what the hell?

Is the world just out to take Akane from his hands? Does everyone around him want him gone?

No, that’s a horrible way to word it. Teru has analyzed everyone in every timeline carefully- people do care about Akane’s wellbeing. It’s fate itself that’s the problem; a fate Teru can’t quite dodge.

So what is he going to do? Keep restarting?

“Do you ever think the days are the same?”

“What do you mean, Aoi?”

“I don’t know,” Teru listens to the soft giggle of his lover, adoring the sound despite their conversation. Akane sees it as lighthearted, though Teru knows it has a completely different meaning behind it. “It sounds dumb, but like.. you’ve lived through something before, or like every day is the exact same as another.. maybe I’m just overthinking things?”

“Ah.. no, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way. It’s just you thinking too hard, dear,”

“Yeah, maybe it is..”

No matter what Teru changes in every timeline; from their relationship to their locations on certain days- Teru will never let Akane know what’s really happening. He’s already ruined Akane’s life once, he’s not going to do it again.

Akane doesn’t deserve to know that at all. He doesn’t deserve to know the terrible extent Teru has gone to keep him safe. He’d absolutely hate knowing Teru is exhausting himself for his life out of all people.

He’s a much better person than he thinks he is- over the timelines, Teru’s learned how horribly Akane thinks of himself. He knew Akane didn’t think too highly already, as it’s a given- he’s changed himself completely for the people around him. Though it ended up being a lot worse than Teru used to think it was. He wonders just how Akane became this way- and with every timeline, he’s closer to finding out. (Sometimes he wonders if he restarted time from when they were kids, maybe, just maybe- he’d be able to understand Akane a little better. He isn’t a bad person. He’s human like anyone else. Just like Teru.)

And for this reason, Teru decides to never tell him. He already isn’t happy enough, so it’s best to let him be blissfully unaware. After all, Teru likes that smile of his- of course, he needs other people to help it shine, but it shines beautifully anyway.

“You’re cute, Aoi, have I ever told you that?”

“You tell me every single day, sweetheart.”

“Apologies, it seems sometimes I forget~”

“You’re always forgetful,”

“Am I?”

“Mhm, but not that I mind.. anyway, stop admiring me and go back to doing your work. I love you and all, but we have stuff to discuss for the student council with the other members, and..”

And of course, no matter what changes, Akane will always be beautiful. He’s a sight to adore; the freckles, the blush, the squishy cheeks- Teru just can’t get enough. While he doesn’t mind not dating Akane in some timelines, it’s always nice when he does- all those pent up feelings of his make their way out as soft and loving affection.

Akane always seems to like the attention he receives. He always likes Teru just as much.

But that only makes things hurt even more.

“Why is this happening to me..? I don’t understand it..”

“Aoi.. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I did my best to protect you, I did everything I could, yet..”

“Stop it,” it doesn’t matter how many times Teru goes through this process. He’ll always feel terrible hearing that soft voice of Akane’s- listening as it gets quieter, as Akane slowly loses his voice. “Don’t.. Don’t be, don’t feel.. guilty. Please.. It’s not your fault. It’s not your job to protect me.”

“But I..”

“Don’t blame yourself for something that’s my fault.. I should have been more careful,”

“But it’s mine, it’s really mine. You don’t know that I.. Aoi? Can.. can you hear me? Aoi? Aoi..?”

Teru lies alone in the clock keepers’ boundary, waiting for Akane’s arrival on an early January 1st morning. He holds a small hourglass in his hands, lifting it above his head. He stares at it intently.

The more Teru thinks, the more Akane’s life reminds him of an hourglass. It’s a difficult analysis he’s come to a conclusion to; and an even more confusing explanation comes with it. For a human life to be compared to a mere object- is that even morally correct?

Well, an hourglass never truly ends.

It doesn’t matter how many times the sand from one side will completely transfer- if the hourglass is flipped, the countdown is reset from the beginning. Everything is reset and set into some sort of faulty, pristine condition. Similar to an hourglass, Akane’s life ends up being reset- and, of course, set into a faulty, pristine condition. It’s constantly flipped every time his time is up.

Though that conclusion drives Teru insane. If that were really true, then it’d mean Akane would continue to die despite everything he’s done to prevent it. It doesn’t matter what he does, the sand in an hourglass will always remain the same- every little bit of sand inside doesn’t change when it's flipped. In the end, the result is the same. The countdown will end.

Would that mean Akane will never live with Teru the way he wants him to?

Will Teru continue restarting time, even if it’s for absolutely nothing?

There’s a small grasp of hope Teru will always hold onto. A small hope for something more; a small hope that maybe, just maybe- someday, Akane won’t have to die. Perhaps it’ll be Teru instead, taking the boy’s place that way he can live on. But alas, to Teru’s dismay, fate will never change.

It doesn’t matter if he sacrifices other students to extend Akane’s lifespan, it doesn’t matter who he has to protect Akane from- nothing will really change in the end. Akane’s fate will remain the same.

Yet Teru will never believe that.

He’ll keep trying. He’ll do whatever it takes.

Maybe thousands of timelines will pass by- loops of an ongoing guilt and so forth. That’s okay, though. Teru would do anything as long as he gets to hold Akane in his arms a little longer.

Even though deep down, Teru knows the truth.

Akane Aoi is going to die.

Over, and over, and over again.