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Learning to Let Go of Everything I Tried to Hold

Summary:

In which Steve has a heart to heart with Joyce.

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Not long after everything settled in Hawkins, Joyce decided to relocate her family back there fully, much to the joy of Mike, Dustin, and Lucas.

Once the four of them were back together, they spent months having weekly sleepovers, bouncing between houses so as not to bother any of their respective families too much.

After a month or so, Steve joined the lineup, offering his house as an option as well, since he was alone most of the time anyway. Having the knuckleheads around gave him something to focus on other than his own thoughts.

This weekend, Will was the last of the four to be picked up.

Joyce opened the front door, holding her phone between her ear and her shoulder, and waved Steve inside, “Will’s still getting his stuff together,” Joyce whispered as Steve followed her to the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

Steve took a moment to fully take in the surroundings of the Byers house. It was small, extremely so compared to his house. But what it lacked in side and grandeur it made up for in love. Steve’s house might be expensive, have three floors, a game room, and a heated pool, but that didn’t mean much when Steve was usually the only person there.

“Steve,” Joyce began as she hung up the phone, pulling Steve’s attention from the various drawings of Will’s and photos of Jonathan’s that were hung on the fridge, “I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for the kids for the past few years.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Mrs. Byers. I love all those little knuckleheads. They’re, uh … They feel like my own kids now, honestly. I don’t mind doing whatever I can for them, really. If there’s ever a night where you and Jonathan are both at work and need someone to keep an eye on Will, just give me a call and I’ll zip right over.”

Joyce smiled, “that’s very nice of you to offer,” she paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, “how are you doing, Steve?” Joyce reached forward to take Steve’s hand in such a maternal way that it almost made Steve jump.

“I know that your family, your parents—well, that is, I’ve heard from the boys over the years—“

“That my dad is a major dick and that my mom barely talks to me unless she’s been drinking, and even then it’s usually over the phone when they’re off in Colorado at some ski resort with their other ridiculously rich friends?” Steve stopped himself, realizing he hadn’t meant to say that much, “sorry for the language, Mrs. Byers.”

Joyce chuckled a bit, trying to lighten the mood in the kitchen, “it’s okay, but yes, that is very similar to what I’ve heard.”

Steve shrugged, “it’s alright. I got used to it years ago. Which is why I’m totally fine with them all coming over, like whenever, even if it’s last minute. What good is having four bedrooms and six bathrooms if they’re not getting used, right?”

Joyce took a minute to look at Steve, and as she watched various emotions flicker over his face she realized that while Steve was almost 21 now, deep down there was a child that was still craving a parental connection that he’d clearly never gotten. That when it came right down to it, he was trying to be the parent — or at least the parental figure — to the group that he’d never had, even to El, who he was only now just getting to know four years in.

Joyce squeezed Steve’s hand, “I just want you to know that if you ever need anything or need someone to talk to, have any problems, or even just wanna come over and have some coffee and have some downtime, I am always available. Even if it’s the middle of the night and I’m working, just come on down to the store. Night shifts are usually slow anyways. Just remember, you don’t always have to be the designated responsible adult. Don’t forget that even though it might not feel like it, you’re still growing up too.”

Steve tried to hold back the tears that had formed in his eyes, but failed. Somehow he managed to choke out, “th-thank you, Mrs. Byers,” before Joyce stood up and wrapped her arms around Steve’s shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Joyce said, echoing his words back to him, “You’re family, Steve. Just like the boys, and El and Max. You’ll always be part of our family.”