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Lying awake in his bed, Todd was unable to sleep. Neil still hasn't returned to their dorm room and deep down, Todd knew something was wrong. It filled him with anxiety. This fear that something terrible had happened clawed at him, digging deep into his body, his organs, making him feel sick.
The last thing he knew was that Neil left with his father after the play, forced into the car and driven away without a goodbye. Mr Keating had stopped them all from coming too close to Neil before he got into the car. He already knew something was up and so did Todd.
He simply wished he had spoken up for once.
Looking over at Neil's bed, Todd sighed deeply, putting every ounce of anguish he felt into it. Tears shot into his eyes not for the first time that night.
That was when the room's door opened all of a sudden.
Todd scrambled to sit up and looked at Neil, who stood in the doorway, panting and dishevelled.
Closing the door behind himself, Neil toed off his shoes and took off his coat before coming over to Todd in quick strides.
"Nei— mph!" Todd was interrupted by Neil's lips smashing into his in a hurried yet passionate kiss.
Not letting up, Neil put a knee on Todd's bed and cupped his warm face in his cold hands as he tilted his head a little to fit their lips together even better. Almost cautiously, Todd wrapped his arms around Neil's neck and pulled him further in, kissing him back desperately.
The entire night, Todd's thoughts had been occupied by the worst possible scenarios imaginable. Something had to have happened. He had a feeling. But perhaps that feeling was wrong, after all. Neil was here and safe, wasn't he?
At last, Neil broke their kiss, but didn't lean back further than what was necessary to speak. Only a mere inch or so.
"I love you, Todd," Neil whispered urgently, "I love you so much."
Surprised and with a slack mouth, Todd looked at Neil for a second or two, staring at him. They hadn't said it before. Hinted at it, maybe, but neither of them had had the guts to actually say it yet. Until now. Todd was speechless.
Eventually, he swallowed thickly, opening and closing his mouth almost rapidly.
"I love you, too," he whispered back, so softly that he barely even heard it himself.
A teasing but genuine smile spread Neil's lips, "Speak up."
Rolling his eyes fondly, Todd huffed and repeated his words a little louder.
"I still can't hear you," Neil snickered, "You have to speak louder, dummy."
Todd felt his face grow hot at the affectionate insult.
Taking a deep breath, he spoke in a normal tone of voice with all the conviction and courage that he could muster, "I love you, Neil Perry."
There were tears in his boyfriend's eyes and a wide, appreciative smile on his lips. Those same lips were back on Todd's own a moment later.
As beautiful as all of this was, Todd felt like there was something threatening looming above them. Something that would ruin what they had. And he was terrified.
Neil dropped the bomb on him soon enough when he parted from him and sat down properly on the bed beside Todd, who sat up, then.
"We have to leave," Neil told him, not looking at him.
"What do you mean?" Todd inquired anxiously, "Leave? Why?"
"My father is sending me to military school. I'll be gone for ten years, Todd. I- I won't go. And I want you to come and run with me. Start new somewhere else!" Finally, Neil looked at him again and part of Todd wished he hadn't. There were all sorts of emotions clearly visible in his expression, his eyes. Dread, hopelessness, but also determination.
"Neil, we're seventeen! We have no car, no money, nothing. And we won't get far with our bikes in this snow. We can't just run away!" Todd exclaimed, unable to keep it down. Neil wasn't thinking clearly.
"We have to. Please, Todd. Please! We'll figure something out on the way, but we have to go. I can't go without you." Neil took Todd's hands into his and put them against his chest. His heart was beating rapidly. He seemed frantic to Todd. Something he rarely was.
Military school. Neil would be completely cut off from the outside world for nearly ten years. There was no chance for them. No future.
"Why is he doing this? I thought— I thought he was okay with the acting?" Todd asked instead, needing to hear the whole story.
Neil simply looked at him, remorse clear in his eyes.
"You never actually talked to him, did you?"
"He wouldn't have allowed it. But it's not just the acting," Neil admitted, "He knows about us. He knows. I'm not sure how. He said he saw us. So he wants me to get away from you, to never see you again. And I can't do that. Todd, I love you. I couldn't be apart from you for even a second longer."
Inhaling sharply, Todd squeezed Neil's hands and nodded.
"All right. You say we figure something out. We'll figure something out," he said softly, a small smile on his lips. He could barely believe what he was saying.
"Promise? Promise me that no matter what, we'll go together. Please," Neil urged him.
"I promise," Todd spoke clearly, loudly.
Within the next couple of hours they had packed their essentials, left a note for their friends and left before sunrise.
It didn't matter where they would end up, or how. All that was truly important was that they were together. That was enough for both of them. They didn't need more than each other.
Mr Keating was right.
Love is something to stay alive for.