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"I think I need to get you in a tuxedo for this occasion," Marinette says, looking over Kagami. "You're going to look great."
Kagami doesn't doubt that. She's seen Marinette in one (the first time she knew her feelings were truly romantic in nature). Besides, her girlfriend is a fashion genius. She could make a potato sack look good. Kagami has never had a fraction of a doubt about Marinette's abilities. What she doubts is herself.
So, when two weeks later Marinette approaches Kagami with a tuxedo, it isn't a surprise.
"I bought this from a store, but I altered it to fit you," Marinette explains. "It'll fit over a sports bra without showing underneath so you can be more comfortable." Kagami knows Marinette respects her preferences, but it's always nice to have that affirmed after all this time of not having her boundaries respected. "Try it on. I'm pretty sure I did all the alterations right, but you never know."
Kagami slowly changes into the tuxedo behind the changing screen in Marinette's room. Everything fits perfectly, of course.
She frowns as she looks at the tie. She doesn't know how to tie it. But she is decent to step out into the rest of Marinette's room, so she does. Marinette's selected a tie colored deep crimson, which works well with the inky blue of the tuxedo.
"Could you help me tie this?" Kagami asks.
Marinette steps closer and winds the tie around Kagami's neck before tying it with deft movements and sticking two fingers between the tie and Kagami's collar to check the tightness. "Good. Take a look in the mirror?"
Kagami finally turns to look in the mirror. It takes her a moment to recognize the person standing there as her. She feels powerful in the tuxedo, in a way that she's never felt before. Different, somehow. She's always walked a little bit of a line between femininity and masculinity — but this tips the scales towards the masculine side, while before she leant towards the feminine side.
Marinette's always had a way of changing Kagami's perception of herself.
"You look great," Marinette softly says. "Don't be so hard on yourself." It seems Marinette has misinterpreted her silence.
"As long as you're giving me the outfits," Kagami responds, "I will always look good."
Marinette smiles. "You always have a way of turning things around."
Kagami can't forget the way it felt. Something feels right about dressing in a more masculine style, the same way wearing the fencing suit makes her feel free. Her hair adds the balance of femininity to tip the scales.
She likes the balancing act. She doesn't want to be purely masculine or feminine. But she is a woman, isn't she? Shouldn't her desires lean more towards the feminine?
Well, in all her research about women that like women, she found a subset of gender presentation known as being butch. Kagami feels like that doesn't really align with her, either. She isn't into the lumberjack aesthetic. Flannels aren't her thing. But a more…business-style masculine presentation is nice.
And the style of dress is disconnected from the identity. She can be a masculine woman; that is not a contradiction. But. Well. The question lies more in whether she would truly be happy like that, doesn't it?
She doesn't mind being a masculine woman; it sits better in her mind than being a feminine woman. But — well — it still doesn't fit quite right.
But what else is there? It's this or that, one or the other.
Huh. She thought she got rid of that when she came out to herself as bisexual. If she doesn't have to choose who she's attracted to, why does she have to choose her gender based on being either male or female?
She can be a masculine woman. Or she can just be a person. Do whatever she wants. She doesn't mind her name. She isn't sure how fond she is of being a woman or a girl. She is certainly not a man. It is what it is. Gender is usually immutable, right?
Though. Hm. He likes the feeling of being a him, if not a man. But she likes being a she too. She can be both. He contains multitudes.
Hmm. She should probably tell Marinette about this development. He doesn't know what she'll think of all this, but it sure will be something.
She just has to get the nerve.
He tells Adrien first. Adrien is her best friend. He won't react badly. He might not understand, but Kagami could explain.
And so he does as he tells Adrien. She talks about the lines between presentation and identity and how they are different — she might look like a masculine woman but she is not one and that is the most crucial part.
Adrien understands the lines. In modeling, what one sees is not what is the truth, and Adrien too puts up a façade.
Different masks for different issues.
They've always been similar in many ways.
But...Kagami knows he has to tell his girlfriend now.
"So you're nonbinary?" Marinette asks after Kagami's long explanation about gender and presentation and identity.
Kagami blinks. "Huh?"
"Gender isn't male or female. Marc has days like that, though Marc is more often either a boy or a girl," Marinette says. "I figured you did your research."
Kagami shakes her head. "The only exploration I did this time was into my own heart."
"Do I need to call you something other than my girlfriend? What pronouns do you want me to use? Is there anyone you don't want me outing you to? What about your name?"
The barrage of questions overwhelms Kagami, so he places his hands on Marinette's shoulders. "Calm down," she says, forcing her voice into a lower register. Whoa. "I'd prefer if you avoided terms like girlfriend. Pet names are fine. I like both he and she, you can alternate between them when you switch sentences. Don't tell my mother, and...I rather like the name Kagami, actually. It feels rather poetic."
Marinette quickly kisses her. "Thank you for trusting me."
Kagami smiles, feeling at peace with himself.