Chapter Text
Prez watched with exasperation as her best friends vividly acted out their arguments to each other, her arms crossed and head tilted in bemusement. In any other situation, she would’ve encouraged the healthy expression of negative emotions instead of the repression of them, but making a complete mess of the mansion’s living room was just, too much. It almost made her consider fetching Curtis to help out- almost . Petty squabbles would never have her stoop that low.
“You’re so- immature !!” Saffron huffed at Syrah, hunched over in frustration. Syrah scoffed and flicked her ponytail.
“Me?? Seriously, look at you're calling immature!! I get more bitches than you’ve ever had in your life!”
“You’re just proving my POINT! Seriously, you have a sense of humor similar to a high-schooler!”
Syrah gasped, placing a hand on her chest as if she'd been mortally wounded. “Are you saying that your mom jokes aren’t funny?!”
“Yes, I am. And I’m tired of pretending they’re not.”
“...Asshole."
“And you're trying to convince me you're mature?”
“Um. Your mother.”
“THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING.” Saffron fumed, groaning as he paced around in circles as Syrah merely pouted in her spot.
“Prez!!!!” Both of them cried out.
“Syrah’s being a bitch again.”
“Saffron’s being a dick again.”
“Wowww, low blow.” Syrah rolled her eyes.
“Cry about it.” glared Saffron.
Prez sighed. “Now, guys, aren’t we old enough to solve our own conflicts?”
“I don’t solve conflicts, I cause them.”
“Boy, do I know that.” Saffron mocked.
“Oh, who even fucking asked?”
“GUYS!” Prez shouted, immediately silencing the both of them, who were basically already starting to hiss. “How did all of this even start? Usually, all the debates you’ve had were nothing serious. I thought that was my thing!!”
“Syrah is tolerable sometimes but I can't really ignore it when someone ruins my carnations.”
“Hey! I didn’t exactly ruin them- it was just, the imported wine I got was getting bad, and I needed somewhere to dump it because it was kinda shit, and woah! Those flowers are the same shade as the wine! And I heard that if you water a flower with a certain color liquid, it gets the same color as it!! So…”
“...” Prez blinked. The blue of her bangs framed the stare of disbelief at Syrah. “I… understand your mistake… but… really, Syrah?”
“It was an honest mistake!” Syrah raised her hands defensively. Her nose then proceeded to grow. Saffron glared at her.
“Ok! Then just a regular mistake! I didn’t know wine was like bad for plants or something! Like, if anything, wouldn’t it be good for the plants since it’s made out of fermented grapes??”
“I…” Prez wasn’t sure what to answer. For once, she actually didn’t know the science of something. “Huh. I’m not sure… maybe in theory …but no…it could be too strong…”
Prez started to mumble to herself, genuinely questioning the effects of using wine to water plants. “That would make a good science experiment for us…”
“Oh, nononononono-” Saffron quickly interrupted. “We are NOT doing that, my plants have already suffered enough.”
“Ok, ok. I have club duties to attend to in town, so I hope you guys figure this out soon.” Prez said to them skeptically, hesitant to leave the club to their own devices. “But if I'm needed here..."
“Of course, of course! Don’t worry about us!” Syrah said, her voice layered with false positivity. “Now, move along and buy those groceries!” Prez was abruptly shooed out of the forest, lowering the bar of expectations lower than it already was.
It wasn’t like Syrah and Saffron were that incompetent- in fact, both of them were great individuals who’d always supported her in the club when she needed it. Around them, she felt like she didn’t need to act like this whole perfect role model club leader, since those titles didn’t stop them from treating her like a friend. “Like a friend” specifically meaning that Syrah wasn't afraid to make explicit jokes around her and Saffron took it as an okay to complain a lot about minuscule things.
Prez's spiders had a lot to say about Syrah when she was first scouted out, then Prez met her... and learned that most of it was true. Syrah didn't even care that much. A few broken misconceptions later, Prez could tell Syrah really wasn't a bad person, even if she said so. However, Prez thought about how parents would totally hate Syrah- which gave her some bonus points. Wasn't like she was gonna tell her that, though. She was already charming and good with people and Prez refused to be the one to contribute to her ego.
And Saffron? Letting him in was an easy decision; he was easy to talk to and grounded, a good addition to balance out the club. He was funny, joked about being the diversity hire (they're not even at a workplace) once he got over his initial shyness. When they first met, Saffron and Curtis had gotten into a long-winded conversation about practical uses for plants that Prez occasionally joined in to comment on plant science. Only after they exchanged fertilizer brands did Prez decide to approve him for the club. Unlike Syrah, he had a sense of responsibility and was very upfront with his issues with everything,
So two intelligent and caring people, right?
One problem.
When you put them together, they share one singular brain cell. All logic was thrown out the window.
This really sucked, because sometimes she really needed those two to work together, but they’d probably get distracted by a weird side conversation the other started; such as a debate over the perfect way to do a hair flip. (This actually happened once. Both kept trying to one-up the other’s hair flip, and Prez got smacked in the face with Syrah’s ponytail.)
It was exhausting. Yes, she loved them, but sometimes maybe she didn’t wanna talk about why you shouldn't say certain words during club meetings, Syrah.
That thought lingering in her mind, Prez stopped in her tracks before turning around for one last order.
"Saffron!" she hollered.
"WHAT?!"
"That party your kingdom is throwing!"
Syrah's head perked up.
"What about it?"
"You told me you needed a plus one, cause your parents insist you bring proof that you have friends from the club?"
"..."
"New mission, from me personally. Take Syrah. Tell her all the details next chapter or something. Bye."
Syrah and Saffron erupted into a cheer and a groan respectively.
"PREZ WHAT THE FUCK."
"Prez, have I ever told you how much I love you and that you're the best president ever that I'd never wanna replace with everyone ever?" Syrah cooed as their club president left the room before anyone could argue with her.
Jolie, who had been having a cup of tea in the corner of the room, smiled to herself. Oh, this was going to be good.