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GUIDANCE – You've been doing this job for a good couple of years now. At this point, you have a good idea of the type of students to expect.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – The showoffs. They work hard and make it look effortless.
ENDURANCE - The ones that push themselves to the limit. They feel like they have something to prove. They don't listen to you when you tell them to pace themselves.
SAVOIR FAIRE - The ones that think they're "too cool" to care about anything, let alone gym class.
SUGGESTION – The nosy ones that insist on asking you a lot of questions about your personal life instead of focusing on the given exercises.
PAIN THRESHOLD – There's always a group of reckless friends who manage to hurt themselves with the equipment and laugh it off.
VOLITION – And then… there were the kids who come in dealing with hangovers or withdrawal.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - It's real easy to spot, even though they think they're being subtle.
EMPATHY – You always try to go a bit easier on them without letting them know that you've caught on.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) – Today, you see a boy in the corner of the auditorium, sitting in the bleachers and crossing his arms.
MARTIN – It was Martin Ingram. He was one of the students that always acted too cool to participate. Today, though, you see how pale his face is. You see the fear in his eyes. He's trying to look bored, but he can't stop flitting his eyes around and stabbing his nails into his skin.
ENCYCLOPEDIA – Hangover symptoms include-
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You know what a fucking hangover is, you don't need a fucking reminder every time.
LOGIC - Today is a Monday and this isn't the first kid with a hangover you've seen today. You can guess that something like a party happened over the weekend, but Martin must have went a little *too* overboard.
GUIDANCE – It's always hardest to approach the "cool" kids. They usually had issues with social anxiety and this façade is how they protect themselves. You don't want to play a part in making things worse.
YOU – "Hey, Chris! Got a task for you." You shout out to one of the students and wave her over.
CHRIS – She grins and runs over to you. "What's up, coach?"
YOU – "Here, I need you to keep an eye on everyone." You hand her the extra whistle you always keep around. "I have to get something from my office. Make sure no one runs off. You are authorized to use any tactics you deem necessary."
CHRIS – "Haha, hell yeah!" She spares no time in blowing the whistle as loudly as possible. "Come on, sissies! Keep it moving!"
PERCEPTION (HEARING) – You're pretty sure you've lost a good chunk of your hearing from these damned whistles.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY – But by god, is it fun.
MARTIN – You turn to look at Martin. He has his eyes closed tight. The sound is not helping his situation.
LOGIC - Oops.
YOU – You head over and stand in front of him. "Not participating again today, hm?"
MARTIN – He groans and rolls his eyes. He turns his head to the side, refusing to look at you.
COMPOSURE – His nails are digging even deeper into his skin.
YOU – "You're not escaping that easy," you scoff. "If you won't take part in class then you have to help with the equipment."
MARTIN – "What if I don't want to?"
PERCEPTION (HEARING) – Another loud, high pitched whistle rings through the auditorium.
MARTIN – He hums in annoyance and covers his ears.
YOU – "Come on, if you help with this then you get to stay in my office. What do you say?" You give him a friendly smile.
MARTIN – He just looks at you with a tired scowl, the bags under his eyes were prominent. "Whatever."
DRAMA - It very much was not "Whatever."
YOU – You nod and lead him to the front doors where there were some baskets filled with all sorts of equipment: different size balls, rackets, jump ropes and the likes. You grab one of the baskets and gesture for Martin to get the other one.
MARTIN – He does so with all the contempt he can muster in this one action.
GUIDANCE – Typically, if you saw someone needed to get away from people, you'd give them the task of organizing the equipment room. You always leave these lightly filled baskets at the door, for this excuse (Also it was just less intimidating than saying "Come into my office"). You found that organizing helped soothe some of them – kept their mind occupied with something constructive.
YOU - You reach the equipment room next to your office and drop off the baskets. "Just put'em on the ground over there."
MARTIN - "Huh? Is that it?"
YOU - You nod and pull out a key from your pocket.
GUIDANCE - Martin, however, did not need any more work to do.
EMPATHY - He's glad that was all he had to do but he didn't know if he should feel relaxed just yet.
HALF LIGHT - You've separated him from the class. He thinks he's been caught.
YOU - You unlock your office door and let Martin in. "Make yourself comfortable."
YOUR OFFICE - It was a small room with only a tiny slit of a window in the wall behind your desk. The desk itself was a sad display, you had to place a book under one of the legs to keep it even-ish. On top of the desk was just piles of paper and folders and sticky notes messily laid out. Behind the desk was a relatively comfy desk chair and in front of the desk were two classroom chairs.
You had a set of filing cabinets pushed against one wall and a couch (you got and refurbished yourself) on the other. In front of the couch was a coffee table that you tried to keep clean and devoid of any junk or papers. There was a mini-fridge in the corner of the room and a fan to keep the room from getting too stuffy.
MARTIN – He instantly slumps onto the couch. You were afraid he might have even passed out, but you see that he's awake and sitting upright.
YOU – "How're you doing, Martin?" You pull up one of the chairs so that you can sit across him.
MARTIN – "Bad."
YOU – You lean forward and nod as if he's said something profound.
MARTIN – "…Am I in trouble?" He glances at you then looks away, trying to hide how scared he is.
YOU – "No, you're not in trouble." You give him a sympathetic smile. "Couldn't get any sleep last night?"
MARTIN – "…Yeah."
COMPOSURE - He very visibly relaxes. "He doesn't know."
YOU – "Happens to the best of us," you nod and stand up. "You can rest here until your next class."
MARTIN – He says nothing.
YOU - You grab a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and place it on the coffee table in front of him. "I've got some juice too in the fridge, take whatever you need."
MARTIN – He looks at the water bottle before slowly grabbing it. "Sure, whatever."
EMPATHY – "Thank you."
INTUITION - He has so much on his mind that he's desperate to talk about. He wants someone - anyone - to hear him, yet expressing the vulnerability to achieve that is off the table. You know he will not speak to you.
GUIDANCE - One day, he will find someone he trusts. Until then, all you can do is show that he is seen and that there are people who care about him.
YOU – "I'll head back to the gym. I'll let you know when your next class is. Want the light off?"
MARTIN – He nods slightly.
YOU – You turn off the light before you head out.
ODETTE – "Hey, teach, how old are you?"
YOU – "Why do you need to know that?"
ODETTE – "I don't know. I'm curious and I just can't tell." She squints her eyes in focus as she stares at your face.
RHETORIC – You doubt that she believes you're any *younger* than your actual age.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – Though, you are curious how much older she thinks you might be.
YOU – "Okay, I'll bite," you chuckle a bit. "How old do you think I am?"
ODETTE – "I don't know like. 35?"
YOU – "Ah."
COMPOSURE - You freeze up and feel your smile twitch.
SAVOIR FAIRE – You were not ready for that large a hit to your confidence.
HALF LIGHT - THIRTY FIVE?? She's clearly just trying to rile you up.
LOGIC - You really shouldn't take it so personally. Everyone looks old to teens.
ODETTE – "Uhhh, 2- 29?" She stammers after seeing your reaction.
SUGGESTION – That's not even much younger!!! If you're going to lie to spare someone's feelings, do it well!
YOU – "No, it's okay," you laugh weakly. "I'm 23..."
ODETTE – "Ohh… Sorry," she winces. "You don't look old, really! I think it's just the mustache. I associate that with like. Dads."
YOU – You stroke the bushy mustache on your face, your lips pursed into a straight line.
CONCEPTUALIZATION – Maybe it's time for a clean shave?
SAVOIR FAIRE - If you show up tomorrow without the mustache, she'll absolutely notice and make fun of you for it to the other students.
ODETTE – "Oh, are you a dad?" She continues, already oblivious to your pain.
SUGGESTION – Teens truly have no tact.
YOU – "No."
ODETTE – "Are you planning on having kids?"
GUIDANCE – You've opened the flood gates by allowing the first question. You have no one to blame but yourself.
YOU – "Listen, I know not being able to participate in the class must be boring. But you really shouldn't be asking people such personal questions. It could be a touchy subject."
ODETTE – "Yeah, but that makes it *more* interesting," she says as if it were obvious.
EMPATHY - Sometimes you doubt that teenagers have the capacity for empathy.
YOU – "People's lives aren't just for your entertainment-"
ODETTE – "You can ask me stuff too! That'll make it fair, right?" She cuts you off eagerly.
SUGGESTION – There's really nothing about a teen girl's life that you need to be asking about.
PAIN THRESHOLD – Ask her about the cast. She clearly doesn't want to talk about it. It'll be a good example.
YOU – "Okay. Are you going to tell me how you broke your leg?"
ODETTE – "Er- Well…" She trails off, her face turning a light shade of red as she fiddles with the end of her shirt.
EMPATHY – You already knew it wasn't a story she wanted to tell from how cagey she was about it at the start of the class. Odette is typically not cagey about *anything*.
YOU – "See? Doesn't feel great, does it?"
ODETTE – "No, you know what? You're right." She crosses her arms and nods seriously. "It's only fair I tell you."
SUGGESTION – Wow, she's really willing to bargain and everything.
YOU – "No, that's-" You sigh. "I was just trying to make a point."
ODETTE – "Okay, but if I *do* tell you, can I ask mo-"
YOU – "No."
ODETTE – "Uuuugh," she huffs and slumps in her chair, arms still crossed. "Why are you adults so boring!"
YOU – "Don't worry." You laugh. "You'll find out in a couple years."
OFFICE DOOR – You hear a series of quick, loud knocks at the door. "Yo! Mr. Du Bois! Are you busy?"
PERCEPTION (HEARING) - You know that voice.
VOLITION - It's not an *unwelcome* voice, but you've been procrastinating on this task and you've *just* started to really focus.
YOU – "Come in!"
GUIDANCE - You just can't turn them away.
DEMETRI – "Hey, coach!" He swings the door wide open and instantly plops himself onto the couch. He wastes no time emptying his brown lunch bag onto the table.
JADE – "Hi, sorry for the bother." As always, Jade was closely behind. He's more soft-spoken than Demetri was, but that isn't a very high bar to clear. He closes the door and sits on the couch next to Demetri. He only has a juice box in his hand.
YOU – "It's never a bother." You assure him with a smile. "What brings you in today?"
DEMETRI – "Nothing specific, we just wanna hang out." He smiles wide as he starts to unwrap his sandwich.
JADE – He just gives a simple nod in agreement.
INTUITION – They do enjoy your company, but they also want to vent about something. Something has happened that made them want to see you.
VOLITION - Just focus on your work for now.
YOU – You turn your attention back to the papers on your desk.
DEMETRI – "What're you working on?"
YOU – "Adjustments to the semester plan."
JADE – "Oh, why?"
YOU – "Not every class is interested in the same stuff, right? It's been a few weeks so now I have a better idea on what gets each class motivated."
DEMETRI – "You really change your plan depending on the class?"
YOU – You nod.
DEMETRI – "Man, none of the other teachers do stuff like that. That's why you're the best!"
GUIDANCE - Your heart fills with pride. Seeing their excitement and joy is why you work so hard. It's nice to be recognized.
SUGGESTION - They're trying to butter you up for what they have to say next. Get you on their side.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - It's still absolutely true that you're the best.
YOU – "Heh, I appreciate that. But, you know, being a teacher isn't easy. We're *all* trying our best."
DEMETRI – "It's not just that, they're always so mean too!" He takes an angry bite from his sandwich.
RHETORIC - Ah. Here it comes.
YOU – "Are they 'mean' for no reason?"
DEMETRI – "Yeash!" He says, mouth full. He swallows before he continues. "Some of these teachers - I'm telling you - they feed off our pain."
YOU – You just look at him with a raised brow.
DEMETRI – "Seriously!" He insists. "And they're all working together to make things as hard as possible. Just yesterday Mr. Kubek, Mrs. Lee, *and* Mrs. Riva gave us a pop quiz! All on the same day!"
JADE – "Also, Mr. Kubek got mad and shouted at me for handing someone a pencil." He frowns as he sips on the straw.
DEMETRI – "The poor girl forgot to bring her pencil case and Mr. Kubek *failed* her for it!" He huffs.
DRAMA – They vent some more about their experiences with this specific teacher. They aren’t exaggerating or omitting any part of the stories.
GUIDANCE - You know this Mr. Kubek they're talking about. He's one of the more insufferable people you've had the displeasure of working with. *Truly* hates his job and the kids.
HALF LIGHT – You need to get mad and scary up in his face, give him a taste of his own medicine!
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You could break this guy like a twig.
VOLITION – Obviously you cannot.
YOU - Oh, I absolutely *can*.
VOLITION - Fine. You *will not* assault your co-worker.
SUGGESTION - You have your own fair share of complaints, but you know you can't talk about it. It's one thing for students to vent to you, but you can't have them going "Mr. Du Bois said--". It's a dangerous game that could escalate things and get you in deep shit.
EMPATHY – The best you can do is validate how they feel and not give any excuses for the fucker.
YOU – "Hm. All that does sound pretty bad, yeah," you frown. You wish you could say more.
DEMETRI – "Is it a prerequisite for teachers to hate the students?" He scoffs.
YOU – "I'm sure *none* of the teachers hate you," you say unconvincingly.
DEMETRI – "That's just what they pay you to say, isn't it?" He squints at you conspiratorially.
YOU – You look at him blankly for a second then give him a quick wink.
DEMETRI – He relaxes his face and nods stoically while tapping the side of his nose.
GUIDANCE – That's about as much of your grievances as you can share. But, it's enough to assure them that they'll always have at least one teacher on their side.
WILLEM - "C'mon, coach! You and me! One lap! Let's go!"
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Look at that smug face. You remember that same look when he challenged you to a race at the start of the year and you left him in the dust.
ENDURANCE - He's really improved. You're still more of an endurance runner, not a sprinter.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Sure, but his fastest times is still 10 or so seconds off from yours.
YOU - "Aha, so you think you can beat your coach now?"
WILLEM - "Oh, I don't *think* I can. I *know* I can." He grins widely.
TRACK AND FIELD TEAM - You hear an echo of "ooh"s and laughter from the rest of the students on the team. "My money's on Mr. Du Bois!" "Nah, Willem's faster, taller too. Sorry, coach!"
YOU - "There will be no wagers!"
TRACK AND FIELD TEAM - That just gets louder laughter in response. Some of them have chosen to sit on the benches now.
DRAMA - Willem's confidence is palpable.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - It's well-earned confidence, sure. He's one of the hardest training students you know. It didn't discourage him when you won before and it still won't discourage him if you win now. He wants this to be a real race.
HALF LIGHT - It's *WHEN* you win! Time to wipe the floor with this runt!
GUIDANCE - Classy.
WILLEM - "What if we make it a wager between us? If I win, you buy the team pizza after practice."
PERCEPTION (HEARING) - The team cheers in response. All of them seem to have switched to Willem's side now.
LOGIC - 13 starving, tired teenagers. That is going to take a *toll* on your wallet.
SUGGESTION - Fuck. You can't make your winning condition a punishment for the students. It needs to be a better, non-selfish wager to win back the team's favor, but not something that'll break the bank...
VOLITION - You could also just refuse to wager at all.
GUIDANCE - Then you'll have 13 starving, tired, *upset* teenagers on your hands. Willem has already won.
YOU - "Okay, it's a deal."
WILLEM - "Don't wanna make a condition of your own?"
YOU - "If I win, there's no pizza party. Simple as that."
WILLEN - "Okay, deal!" He says and you shake hands.
TRACK AND FIELD TEAM - That only makes them cheer more for Willem and encouraging him to win this for the team.
SUGGESTION - It's you vs the team. You're going to look like a total asshole if you win.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You're their coach - you ARE the team! You can't be sugarcoating things and throwing them freebies just because you want to seem *cool*.
YOU - "Alright." You remove the whistles and stopwatch hanging from your neck and hand it over to one of the other students. "Chris, you're the ref," you nod towards the girl.
CHRIS - "You got it!"
Both you and Willem get on the track and ready yourselves. Chris then starts to call out "Get ready...! Get set...!" followed by the loudest whistle blow she can manage.
REACTION SPEED - You get running as soon as you hear the whistle.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You quickly overtake Willem! Child's play.
ENDURANCE - You can maintain this speed with relative ease.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Right, about that-
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Absolutely not, you can worry about that *after* you win!
YOU - Wait- what was that about?
ENDURANCE - Don't even worry about it, the adrenaline's got you covered. You're at the half way point!
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - That's when you see Willem in your peripheral vision and he very quickly strides in front of you.
HALF LIGHT - UGH! THIS BODY IS FUCKING USELESS!
VOLITION - Calm down, you sore loser.
WILLEM - You're able to catch up and you both run side-by-side for a while but by the end of it Willem speeds up (or you slowed down?) and he ends up winning with a 4 second difference.
TRACK AND FIELD TEAM - They all stand up and cheer as they surround Willem.
YOU - You're more out of breath than you thought you would be. Then the pain hits you.
PAIN THRESHOLD - Sorry, I should have warned you before-hand, but you got swept up in the whole excitement. Your knee is still in pain since that fall from last week.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Fuck. That stupid fall.
SAVOIR FAIRE - Maybe try to avoid jumping down stairs when you're drunk.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Don't listen to these nerds, that's the best time to jump down things.
VOLITION - Just. Take this loss with grace. No excuses.
YOU - "Alright, alright," you sigh after taking a while to compose yourself. "You've come a long way since the start of the year. Good job, kiddo."
EMPATHY - The grin that spreads on his face makes you forget the pain of losing (not the knee pain though).
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - You take the stopwatch and whistles back from Chris and see that he beat his own record by 6 seconds. That's pretty impressive.
ENCYCLOPEDIA - Performing a well-learned or practiced task in front of an audience leads to an average increase in performance, especially if there is an expectation of a reward.
SAVOIR FAIRE - Yeah, just focus on that. Don't think about the pain or all the money you're going to drain today. Yep. Just be proud.
YOU - "Now, no more distractions," you clap your hands together. "Let's start practice proper!"
TRACK AND FIELD TEAM - "Yes, coach!"
YOUR APARTMENT - It's been a few months since THE HANGED MAN case in Martinaise. Your apartment was no longer a 'nasty pigsty' in Cuno's words, but you still had a *lot* of junk and clutter to get through. You kept putting it off, opting instead to push these boxes and knick knacks to the back of your closet or stuffing them under the bed. But Cuno insisted that you needed to 'stop being a pussy and get this shit done.'
Right now, your floor was a mess. You have piles and piles of different things from your past, all vaguely sorted in a system.
You had piles for "Garbage", "Donate", "Keep", and "Keep, but Cuno will burn when you're not looking."
YOU - You're sitting on the couch, going through old mail.
INTERFACING - There was a lot to sift through. Most were old advertisements but you couldn't just throw all of them out on the off-chance that there was something important or some insight to your past.
PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Your vision is becoming more and more unfocused. You don't think you can keep working on this for today.
CUNO - "Pig! Look what Cuno found!" He shouts, knocking you out of your thoughts.
YOU - "Hm?" You look up from the mess and turn around to see Cuno who was sitting on the floor.
CUNO - He's grinning and waving up something rectangular in his hand. When he sees that you're only confused, he gets up in a rush and flops onto the couch next to you, legs pulled up and crossed. "Look! It's your pre-pig days." He laughs and hands it over.
INLAND EMPIRE - It's a blue photo album - old, tattered, and neglected. "Pre-pig days" must mean...
YOU - You take a deep breath before opening the album.
OLD PHOTO ALBUM - You flip open the first page and see a group photo, yellowed with time, protected by the plastic sleeve of the album. You count 10 people in the photo. 9 of which were wearing long dark blue gowns and some were wearing large square shaped caps. The 10th-
CUNO - "That's you right there, isn't it!" He points excitedly at the picture.
OLD PHOTO ALBUM - The man was wearing a gaudy blue suit and grinning widely. He was clean shaven, with no "damage" to hide. He had one of his arms around the shoulder of a tall boy next to him, who had his own arm around the shoulder of the man. His other hand was on the shoulder of a girl sitting on the ground in front of him, making peace signs. Everyone else surrounding this man had wide smiles or looked like they were mid-laughter.
INLAND EMPIRE - This man was happy and healthy. In every meaning and sense of the word. This man loved being alive.
YOU - "He looks so happy..." You mumble without noticing.
CUNO - "Hey, Pig." He snaps his fingers in front of your face to get your attention. "Cuno knows you're fucked in the head, so Cuno's gotta make sure you understand that's *you* not a *He*."
YOU - You can't help but burst into laughter. "That is hilarious coming from you, kid."
CUNO - "Cuno *knows* who Cuno is! Cuno's not stupid," he says madly and points a finger at you. "But you pig, you got issues. Cuno could get a fucking therapy degree just from dealing with your bitch-ass."
RHETORIC - He's not wrong. About your use of pronouns that is.
YOU - "You're right, I'm sorry... I just- I don't know. It... It doesn't *feel* like me."
CUNO - "Cuno *just* told you that's *you*! Look at that stupid grin, that's *your* stupid grin on *your* stupid face."
OLD PHOTO ALBUM - You flip through the pages and see graduation picture after graduation picture of different groups of students and yourself in the same gaudy blue suit, only with different looking ties. Behind every photo was the date of when the picture was taken (the pictures were not placed in any order). They also had multiple signatures that you assume is the names of the students. Some included small phrases like "We'll miss you!" and "Thank you for a great year!"
VOLITION – You always said you wouldn't cry.
EMPATHY – You always did.
COMPOSURE - Oh- oops. Looks like you're crying right now.
CUNO - "Oh, fucking hell." He snatches the album from you and puts it aside. "Alright, Dr. Cuno's here, what the fuck is wrong this time?"
YOU - "I'm fine, I'm fine-" you sniff and rub your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt. "It's just a lot to take in at once, is all."
CUNO - "Do you... remember anything? Anyone?"
YOU - "No. Not really."
INLAND EMPIRE - Do any of them remember you?
SHIVERS - The hair on the back of your neck stands on its ends. A couple laughs as they watch their child play in the park with her friends. A writer sits alone in his room on his 4th cup of coffee, writing feverishly before the inspiration leaves him. A doctor smiles in relief as she delivers good news after a risky surgery. A group of friends drink and celebrate in a pub.
YOU - Do... Do I know them?
SHIVERS - You did.
CUNO - "Hm..." He hums with his brows furrowed as he stares at the grinning man.
EMPATHY - He wonders if you'll ever feel that happy again.
PAIN THRESHOLD - He regrets showing this to you.
YOU - You pull Cuno into a big hug.
CUNO - He groans but doesn't make any attempt to wriggle out of your hold. "Sappy bitch."
YOU - "Thank you for this, Cuno."
CUNO - "Yeah, yeah," he says with an annoyed tone as he pats your back. "Now let me go before you choke me to death."
YOU - You laugh and let go, wiping a stray tear from your eye. You pick up the album and look at the pictures one more time.
EMPATHY - You don't look at yourself. Instead, you focus on the smiling faces surrounding you. You may not remember them, but you feel warmth and fondness.
??? - You know you did your best to make a positive impact in the few years you got to be in their lives.
YOU - "This goes on the top of the 'Keep' pile." You say as you close it.
CUNO - "You sure?" He asks carefully.
RHETORIC - You've thrown out a lot of photos.
YOU - "Yes. I want to remember this." You smile genuinely.
CUNO - He studies your face for a second before he nods and gets up to carefully place the album in the pile.
EMPATHY - Your life wasn't always filled with misery.
VOLITION - And it doesn't need to be now.